Little Tragedies Chapter 14, a transformers/beast wars fanfic

Little Tragedies, Issue 14

Author's Foreword:

I apologize for putting this up late, I was a little too caught up in fanfic writing yesterday, I wrote perhaps the saddest, most angsty fic I will ever have to write, I cried, C.M.D. cried, I was even more depressed than usual when I was writing it, C.M.D. even tried slagging me over msn, it was scary ... no seriously, don't freaking mess with her, she will slag you up, and I made her cry for Grimlock. It was the cutest thing ever, I swear ...

In other news, I have watched X-Men: First Class like everybody else who didn't want to strain themselves to see yet another X-Men movie, illegally streaming it online ... or am I kidding? Or have I rented the DVD? Muahahaha! But yes, for me, the highlight of the movie was the energized hoola-hoop ring guy, Wolverine telling Magneto to go f*ck himself, aaaaaaaaaand that's pretty much it, the story was ok, the movie was a little slow at times, it is not a bad movie but I wouldn't recommend it unless you are a Marvel fan.

Next up - Captain America (here is a tiny tip - normally after marvel movies they have bits of extra stuff like in Ironman, after the cast and crew roll they had Nick Fury talking to Tony Stark or Ironman 2 - they give a trailer teaser for Thor or in Thor - a teaser for Avengers!), Red Skull, I hope you are ready because Hollywooded Captain America is coming your way!

Either way, Issue 14 is out, enjoy! I am almost at Issue 40 ... and have been in a tiny bit of a rut when it comes down to drunk jokes for Grimlock ... I know there are people who like them but just as a fair warning, I don;t have that many in the 30's issues, of course I will try to remedy that somehow ...

Kittycons, u so cute me love u long time (TFA)

Arcee to the principal:

"I have sent this fax a hundred times already and it still comes out on our end!"

"Mommy! Am I a princess?"

"No, Tracks, you are a dumbass."

Back in high school. Alpha Trion:

"All right, kids, today in science class we will be digging holes for the trees we will be planting. Everybody take a shovel …"

Mirage:

"Can I get a shovel with a power generator?"

"Where have you ever seen a shovel with a power generator?"

"Where have you seen a nobleman with a shovel?"

Back in high school, Sentinel worked as a security guard. One day he saw Kup, drunk, in a garbage barrel. Sentinel:

"Excuse me! This place is for garbage!"

Kup, trying to get up:

"Oh, sorry for taking your spot …"

Rumble and Frenzy:

"Mommy! A mouse fell in our milk!"

Tracks:

"Did you get it out of there?"

"No, we threw Ravage in there …"

Rumble and Frenzy:

"Mommy! Can we go swim in the lake?"

"Sure, just don't get wet."

Back in university. Wheeljack and Warpath, hungry as hell, are walking down the street, and see on one of the balconies are hung strings of sausages. Wheeljack:

"Hey, let's take those!"

"Yes!"

Both climb up onto the balcony and began taking the sausages when Sentinel walks by. Sentinel:

"What are you two doing?"

Wheeljack:

"Um, hanging Christmas decorations!"

"It's July! Christmas is in December!"

Wheeljack to Warpath:

"See? I told you it is in December!"

"Just take your decorations and go home!"

The Autobots, The Decepticons and The WTF (G1)

Swindle's ad:

"… will exchange a 40-year old wife for two 20 year olds. Do not tempt me with four 10-year olds …"

Hound, Blitzwing and Tracks are flying in an airplane. Tracks takes his head out of the airplane, smells the air and says:

"We are flying over France."

"How do you know?"

"I smell perfume."

After a while, Blitzwing takes his head out and smells the air:

"We are flying over Germany."

"How do you know?"

"I smell beer and sausages."

After a while, Hound takes his hand out and puts it back in:

"We are flying over Russia."

"How do you know?"

"The moment I put my hand out of the airplane, someone stole my watch."

Optimus and Arcee are eating. Arcee is chewing very loudly, Optimus licks his spoon clean and hits her on the head with it. Arcee:

"Optimus! What the hell?"

"Stop chewing so loudly!"

"All right."

After a few minutes Optimus again hits her with a spoon. Arcee:

"What the hell? I stopped!"

"I know but it is stuck in my head now."

Optimus and Arcee are in bed. Optimus:

"Is this warm?"

"Yes."

"How is this?"

"Warmer."

"How is this?"

"Optimus! Stop screwing around with the thermostat and let's cuddle!"

Optimus comes to work, worried:

"Hey, guys I am cheating on Arcee and I am really scared that I would say her name instead of Arcee's. Any ideas?"

Iron Hide:

"Get a cat, name it after your lover, this way, you will always have an excuse!"

"All right! Thanks!"

On the next day, Optimus comes to work, freaked out. Iron Hide:

"What happened?"

"She got a dog and named it after Hot Rod."

Blitzwing, Tracks and Hot Rod are running away from Prowl. They saw a nearby barn and jumped in there. Blitzwing jumped into the pen with cats, Tracks jumped into the pen with dogs and Hot Rod jumped into a huge stack of potatoes. Prowl walks in, looks in the pen with kittens. Blitzwing:

"Mrow, meow, mrow, purr, purr …"

"Hm, nobody here."

Prowl looks into the pen with dogs. Tracks:

"Arf, grrrrr, arf! Arf!"

"Hm, nobody here."

Prowl looks on the pile of potatoes. Hot Rod:

"Potato, potato, potato …"

Back in university, Springer's first few encounters with Alpha Trion.

Springer takes his lunch and sits near Alpha Trion. Alpha Trion:

"The eagle is not a friend to a pig."

"All right, I will fly over there then!"

A few hours later, Springer was taking an aptitude test. Alpha Trion:

"If you could know more or be rich, which one would you choose?"

"Rich."

"I would have chosen to know more."

"We all take in what we lack."

Alpha Trion got really pissed and on Springer's paper he wrote "Moron". Springer:

"Sir, you put down your name but you didn't give me the results."

Back in medical school. Ratchet:

"What did the autopsy say?"

The Professor:

"The autopsy says that the patient died from the autopsy."

Onslaught:

"Hey, Brawl, where were you all these weeks?"

"In anger management therapy."

"Where?"

"IN FUCKING ANGER MANAGEMENT THERAPY!"

Red Alert:

"Ratchet, does any of the medication you give me actually do any good?"

"But of course! I already bought my son a house! Almost done constructing my daughter's summer house too!"

Under The Degree (G1)

Kup, drunk:

"The worst habit is the habit of getting bad habits."

Scattershot, little:

"Daddy! How much juice can I buy?"

Grimlock:

"Don't know! Grimlock no ask you how much vodka Grimlock can buy!"

Optimus comes home drunk:

"Man, if I make noise, Arcee is gonna wake up and beat the crap out of me. Come on! Think! What do I do? Oh! I know! I will pretend that I am reading a book and she won't yell at me! Ok, this looks like a book …"

Optimus grabs something off the floor, opens it up and pretends to read as he enters the bedroom. Arcee:

"Optimus, put down the suitcase and go to bed!"

Drunk Grimlock and Kup found a whole barrel of paint and decided to sell it to someone to get more money for alcohol. They knock n Red Alert's door: