Sorry this one took a while to get out, longer than usual i know, but better late than never.

Let's see what suffering dumb-bitch is set to go through this time.

Career Advice.

Delores Umbridge stormed into the dusty, tiny little office that she had been allotted for her personal use during her stay here at Hogwarts, the High Inquisitor and all around Ministry Toady gnashing her sharp little teeth, what few remained from the bludger incident, so tightly that they threatened to crack, ripping wildly at her hair as she raged at this latest failure to make any headway in the Minister's plan to curtail Hogwarts to the Ministry's standards.

'How dare he!' she snarled, wringing the air before her heatedly as she recalled the cold, evaluating look that the blue clad bane of her existence had leveled at her employer 'How DARE he mock the ministry in such a direct fashion!'

Not only had Minister Fudge been humiliated, albeit in private mercifully, as the poor man had so much going through his mind as it was without having his good name dragged through the mud any further. How that Skeeter woman could sink so low as to spread such lies in the QUIBBLER of all things, but Dumbledore had managed to pull this latest affront off WITHOUT breaking any of the laws that they'd dug up in order to discredit the old codger. Not only that, but the old coot hadn't even DONE anything this time round, leaving the actual humiliating to that blue-clad interloper, who once again had been directly involved in ruining their plans, including the ones that, Umbridge had been confident, would see to his dismissal.

It had all been rather ironclad, while it was true that yes, the headmaster had EVERY right to select his own staff, something that would need to be addressed later on in Umbridge's opinion, this did not mean he could just grab any lowlife thug off the street who'd survived being cursed. And it CERTAINLY didn't give him permission to seek aid from outside the Magical Community. Hiring from abroad was all well and good, frowned upon on as a matter of civic pride, but hardly illegal, however hiring a MUGGLE, as she was confident Virgil had never used a wand since arriving at Hogwarts, WAS.

But no, much to Umbridge's rage, the report had come in that yes, Virgil did indeed have ties to the magical community, simply not the British one. It turned out the man's mother WAS, in fact, a witch, and had studied at none other than Beaxbatons, considered the French equivalent of Hogwarts. Not only that, but contrary to Umbridge's hope that the man was of inferior stock, the report had gone on to reveal that the woman, long dead, had graduated from the academy at the top of her class, and had served both as prefect, then Head Girl and Captain of their Quidditch team, and was apparently from some minor European wizarding nobility.

So, much to Umbridge's displeasure, it seemed that not only did Virgil have a solid, virtually adamantine alibi, for being involved in wizarding affairs, he apparently, at least as far as peerage went, was FAR more certifiable than the Ministry Toady, despite the fact he'd never so much as lifted a wand.

It didn't help that, unlike the British ministry, their mainland equivalents DID see the value of Demonology, and it was still taught at all European magical institutions, most notably Durmstrang. The Headmistress of Beaxbatons had actually written a letter congratulating Dumbledore on his sense in restarting the program, and offered additional aid in continuing it upon Professor Virgil's conclusion of his term as Professor.

'Savages!' the ministry Toady swore, gnashing her horrid teeth together as she wrung her hands, desperately pacing back and forth as she cursed Virgil, Dumbledore, and the French, with every fiber of her being 'The very idea! Bad enough Dumbledore and Potter are spreading hogwash that Voldemort has returned, now this…Neanderthal, is training students to be soldiers!'

This would not do, she decided, her eyes narrowing venomously as she turned her mind to the task at hand, years of experience in underhanded dealings and behind-closed-doors activities now turning their full attention to this latest threat. If it was the last thing they did the Ministry of Magic would not accept this complete disregard for their doctrine, not while Delores Umbridge remained within a position to do something about it.

The problem was, despite Umbridge's vehement emotion to the contrary; there was little the woman COULD do. High Inquisitor or not, to the wards and staff of Hogwarts, this basically translated to 'Nosy Freeloader', and she was treated as such. Even the House Elves refused to allot her any respect after she'd screeched at a grubby little one in messed up clothes that had cried while she attempted to clean the woman's office.

Needless to say, no elves came to clean up after Umbridge from that moment on, and considering they were also responsible for lighting the fire, this left the room as cold as it was dark and musky.

Virgil's office...

"The Department of Mysteries?" Virgil repeated, Sparda's elder son eyeing Harry with a quirked eyebrow, as he looked up from cleaning Yamato, the boy-who-lived sitting cross-legged before him on the carpet.

"It's where Ron's dad was attacked." Harry explained, flinching slightly at the memory, the green-eyed teen forcing himself to sit as straight as he could as he faced the silver-haired professor "I've been seeing it almost every other night now. Whatever Voldemort's after, it's behind that door."

"And if what you say is true, then he's already infiltrated the ministry." Virgil muttered, recalling the tale of the man that had been hospitalized for breaking in "Honestly…the minister truly brings new meaning to the term 'fudge up', doesn't he Potter?"

Harry grinned at the pun, honestly surprised that the stern faced professor was even capable of making a joke, though it didn't change his feeling on the matter. The fact that Voldemort was getting ever closer to his goal was HARDLY a laughing matter.

Well, unless you were a Death Eater of course, but considering the mental state of the Dark Lord's followers, it was doubtful they even knew HOW to laugh nowadays.

To make matters worse, things had been getting progressively more annoying around Hogwarts of late. Fudge, after returning to the security of his, apparently barricaded office, apparently hadn't taken too kindly to being driven off so easily, nor, for that matter, had he enjoyed having one of his 'informants' hospitalized by the local wildlife.

Within a day, a new decree, stating that Ministry officials would tour the forbidden Forrest to 'remove any threats to the student populace' was put into effect, which was so deliciously ironic that even Snape's lips had curled in a derogatory smile.

After all, where in the hell did Fudge get off sending troops in to 'remove threats' when he'd been the one to who'd sent in every bloody Dementor from Azkaban to patrol the grounds two years ago?

However, considering said officials consisted of Shacklebolt, Moody, and several of their hand picked Aurors, it was doubtful that Fudge's latest attempt at reigning in Hogwarts would come to much, as they'd most likely spend most of their time drinking tea down at Hagrid's hut, though admittedly Moody would bring his own.

Ironically, Harry was forced to admit that, despite her attempts at subterfuge and general underhandedness, Umbridge HAD done something for the students of Hogwarts, in that she had given them, including the Slytherins, a common enemy to despise.

Draco Malfoy had NOT enjoyed the points docking he'd suffered from their first meeting, nor had he enjoyed being permanently banned from playing Quidditch as a result of her scheme to discredit Harry and the Weasleys. This, in turn, was reflected by all the serpents, who did as serpents were wont, and huddled together, plotting ways of making the woman's life HELL for the duration of her stay.

Umbridge wasn't too popular with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs either, the former having taken offense to her attempts to censor their reading material, which to a Ravenclaw was the worst kind of sacrilege, and the Hufflepuffs because of her interference in club activities and general unpleasantness. Hufflepuff was the most social of the four houses, generally getting along with everyone, even the occasional Slytherin, so for the laid-back, fun-loving house, having someone like Umbridge in charge of club activities made for a very poor showing.

It had gotten to the point where even house rivalries were slowly being forgotten, Harry had even noted several members of different houses getting into groups to discuss ways of circumventing the decrees on club activities, as Umbridge, being as petty as she was, still held out on several in defiance of orders from the staff, citing that they interfered with studies.

There had even been a time, when returning from a DADA lesson, that the Gryffindor fifth years had passed their Slytherin counterparts in the hall. Harry and Draco's eyes had met, the two rivals staring intently at one another, only for Draco to nod, not quite a greeting, more an acceptance that Harry was there, and Harry returned the gesture, the two groups moving on their respective way at a slightly faster pace.

It was small, and likely wouldn't last the moment the toad had been routed from her hole in the wall, but it was certainly good to know that, for a while, he wouldn't have to worry about someone else jinxing him in the hallways.

"In any case, I understand that your OWLS will be coming up." Virgil noted, his tone offhand, though Harry caught the steel there "I understand that, normally, you are to be given a paper exam, correct?"

"Normally sir." Harry admitted, though he recalled Remus Lupin's obstacle course from third year with fond memories. It was quite possibly the only time he'd ever performed better than Hermione, the memory of her reaction to the Boggart at the end of the course STILL brought the odd smile to his face.

"Well knowing the theory is all well and good I suppose." Virgil opined, tapping Yamato's blade to test the flawless steel for imaginery imperfections, before eyeing Harry with his steely blue eyes "Nonetheless I expect you all to keep your skills as sharp as your minds."

"Yes sir." Harry agreed, an odd little shiver of premonition racing up and down his spine, before the professor sent him off to bed, Pollux tagging along in case any of Umbridge's tricks lurked in the wings, subtly slipping the elf a sealed parchment envelope before slipping into the Gryffindor common room.

Thanks in part to Professor Virgil's offhanded comment on house elves making 'damn good messengers', Harry had been maintaining a regular letter chain with Sirius, all of which were carried along by an eager, ecstatic really, Dobby, who was glad to once again help the 'Great Harry Potter'.

Admittedly, Harry felt a little bad using the little elf as a courier, but Dobby seemed to like the work and Hermione hadn't said one word about it, still suffering from being told off it seemed. And in truth, it really didn't matter to him either way, for the first time since Umbridge had started watching the fires, Harry and Sirius could communicate without being interrupted, though it was bothersome, having to wait all day for a written reply, as Dobby's duties as a Hogwarts elf came first regardless of his admiration for the Boy-Who-Lived.

The next day...

It was shortly after another potion session, where Harry, while letting his mind wander towards Sirius' latest reply, apparently the man had pushed Mrs. Weasley too far and was now hiding out in one of the many hidey holes in Grimmauld place till she calmed down, had once again managed to create a textbook potion, the Invigoration Draught, without knowingly doing anything.

Naturally, this was much to the silent displeasure of the Slytherins, as temporary truce or not it just wasn't in them to support a Gryffindor, never mind Snape's equally silent contemplation hadn't been any easier to comprehend than the following, cryptic session of Firenze's Divination class, upon conclusion of which the Boy-Who-Lived found himself stumbling, out of breath, into McGonagal's office, having only remembered at the last minute that he was supposed to see her regarding his future career prospects.

"Sorry I'm late Professor." He offered politely, a little winded, though nowhere near as much as he'd have been at the start of term. Training with the Zweihander had become second nature by now, and his once lanky frame was slowly beginning to fill out, aided by his Quidditch training.

The entire Gryffindor team had approved, particularly Fed and George, who reasoned that a bit of 'meat on his bones' would keep him on the Firebolt the next time someone aimed a bludger at him, though Harry thought he'd seen Angelina eyeing him as well for some reason.

"No matter Potter." The Transfiguration Professor assured him briskly, Harry flinching as he caught the disapproving look in her eyes, only to relax slightly as he realized that it wasn't directed at him, but rather at the person sitting at the far end of the classroom, who let off a pointedly obtrusive sniff.

Not needing to turn round to match that sound to the source of McGonagal's, and in truth most of Hogwarts', displeasure, Harry resolutely forced himself to ignore Umbridge, not giving her the pleasure of acknowledging her presence, turning his back to the ministry toady pointedly as he sat down before McGonagal at the Professor's instruction, a feeling of satisfaction washing over him as he felt the horrible woman's glare bore into his back for a few seconds, before picking up her quill.

"Well Potter," McGonagal greeted formally, though Harry thought he caught a hint of approval in the woman's eyes for his actions "this interview is to talk over any career ideas you might have, and to help you decide which subjects to continue into Sixth and Seventh year." She looked at the teen pointedly "Have you had any thought to what you would like to do after you leave Hogwarts?"

"Several Professor." Harry admitted, having prepped this before with Ron and Hermione for their own interviews "At first I considered professional Quidditch, but as much as I like the game it doesn't seem like something I'd like to do the rest of my life."

"Indeed." McGonagal noted, her lips straightening slightly in what, to anyone that knew her, was a small smile, even as Dolores Umbridge scoffed from the rear of the class "And now?"

"Well, I've got three choices now," Harry admitted "though truth be told I'd like to attempt the first two seriously, and the latter's only a last resort."

"Indeed?" McGonagal inquired, looking honestly impressed with the most troublesome of her young lions' forethought on the matter, Gryffindors tended to be only slightly better off than hufflepuffs when it came to career planning "And they would be?"

"Well, my FIRST choice, above all else, would be an Auror." Harry admitted, resisting the urge to scowl as the scratching of Umbridge's quill increased "I think you'd agree that I've got plenty of hands-on experience these past years."

"I believe I understand what you mean, Potter." McGonagal agreed, her lips pursed once more, recalling all the dangers the teen had faced since first year, despite Dumbledore's insistence he had everything under control "However, regardless, you will require top grades if you wish to apply." She informed him, placing a small black leaflet on her desk before them and opening it to read the contents.

"The minimum requirement is five NEWT level subjects, all of which cannot be below 'Exceeds Expectations'." She looked the teen in the eye "Assuming you achieve thus, you will be required to undergo a series of stringent character and aptitude tests at the Auror Office." He eyes softened slightly "It's a difficult career path Potter, they only take the best. In fact, I don't believe anyone has been accepted in the past three years."

"That's what makes it all the more appealing." Harry admitted, smirking to himself as he covered up Umbridge's not-so-subtle cough "I think you'll agree that I do my best when under pressure."

"Indeed." McGonagal mused, her lip quirking ever so slightly upwards "Now naturally, you will require Defense Against the Dark Arts as your main subject, though I also recommend Transfiguration, Aurors can be frequently required to Transfigure and Un-Transfigure in their work. Normally I'd warn you right now that I only accept those that achieve 'E' in their Owls but apparently you've been pulling your socks up this term," her approval was obvious "simply make sure you perform as well on your exams. I also recommend Charms, always useful, and Potions." Her smile flickered briefly "Yes Potter, Potions, though Professor Snape admits that you might not be so 'dunderheaded' as he first thought, he still hasn't loosened his stance on acceptance either, so you'll need to earn an 'Outstanding' before he even considers…" she paused, closing her eyes tersely as Umbridge loosed her loudest, most pointed cough yet "Might I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"

"Oh no, thank you very much." Umbridge simpered, Harry's hackles rising, wishing fervently that he was alone with the toady and that McGonagal hadn't banned students from carrying weapons in her office. Dobby was currently looking after his Zweihander, as Harry didn't trust leaving it unattended in the classroom McGonagal had set aside for them, and he pitied any fool that so much as looked at the blade sideways "I just wondered if I could make just the teensiest interruption, Minerva?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to refuse you, Dolores." McGonagal countered, her tone professional, though Harry saw the smug defiance in her tone "As High Inquisitor, you are, of course, allowed to sit in on these interviews," here her stare grew pointed "such a shame you neglected those interviews prior to Potter's, they were quite informative, but I'm afraid you do NOT, as I understand it, have any authority to interrupt it."

Harry fought the urge to laugh as Umbridge's impotent sputters echoed from the back of the class, though he did grin up at his head of house in approval, to which McGonagal responded by remaining completely unmoved.

"Now I've heard only good things from your previous DADA Professors." McGonagal informed the teen, though it was left unsaid that two of said professors, namely a certain fraud and death eater, were hardly going to be mentioned "Professor Lupin thought you showed a pronounced aptitude for the subject, he actually recommended you seek employment as an Auror." She inclined her head "Professor Virgil has also admitted that you have a certain…flair, for the subject…"

"I think you'll find…" Umbridge called out, her tone decidedly cold "That the Ministry looks into the records of all Auror Applicants, most notably their criminal record."

"I was under the impression that Potter had been cleared of all charges, Dolores." McGonagal countered, her tone decidedly firm "In fact, I do believe that almost the entirety of the Wizengamot agreed that the charges were not only unfounded, but that Harry was well within the edicts of the 'self defense' laws."

"The Ministry of Magic will NEVER employ Harry Potter!" Umbridge snarled, her features now decidedly feral as she glared at McGonagal, whose own features were beginning to redden as her Scottish temper flared.

"Well," Harry sighed, shaking his head with mock disappointment scant second before both witches could go for their respective wands "I guess that does away with option number three."

"Indeed?" McGonagal queried, the Transfiguration Professor calming herself with remarkable control, ignoring the furiously huffing Umbridge in favor of returning her attention to the Boy-Who-Lived "I would hazard that the next minister might not be so…narrow minded, as to refuse you, Potter." She ignored the irate look on Umbridge's face as she reclaimed her "Still, your second option?"

"Well becoming an Auror was always my first choice." Harry admitted, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes that would've earned him a years worth of detentions from a certain Potion's master had he seen it "But I figured if I couldn't swing it, I'd like to apply for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

Mcgonagall's office...

The classroom fell silent, save for Umbridge's incensed breathing as she inhaled audibly though her nose, her eyes bulging out of her skull, while McGonagal gaped at the teen in shock, for once at a loss for words.

"Potter…" the Transfiguration Professor managed at last, her voice cracking with emotion, only to clear her throat, a proper cough, rather than one of Umbridge's disgusting ones "Did I hear you correctly?" she asked, wonderment in her tone "You wish to apply as a member of staff?"

"Why not?" Harry asked, his tone polite, though internally he was filing away the image of a gob smacked McGonagal for future memories "I think you'll agree that, outside of Quidditch, DADA is my best subject, it's only natural that any career I choose be inclined towards it." he smiled "Besides, Hogwarts has been more of a home to me than anywhere else, I can't really imagine it not being in my life anymore."

"Indeed…" Umbridge sneered, her tone oddly triumphant as she shuffled closer, only for Harry to continue to ignore her "I think you'll find, Potter, that the Ministry…"

"Has absolutely no power over who may be hired as a Hogwarts Professor." McGonagal countered, her tone laced with grim triumph "That, Dolores, is a pleasure reserved solely for the Headmaster, and I do believe Professor Dumbledore would be pleased with Potter's career choice."

"Oh undoubtedly…" Umbridge muttered disdainfully, glaring at the back of the teen's head, incensed as the boy had the audacity to yawn, her glare washing over him like water off a ducks arse in comparison to Snape's trademark 'I LOATHE you' sneer and Voldemort's 'WHY WON'T YOU DIE?' snarl, "Still, I doubt he'll hire the boy straight out of school…the minimum requirement for the position is at least one years experience in handling sufficiently 'dark' matters."

"I suppose I'm overqualified then." Harry opined, smirking internally as the two women as he counted off on his fingers "Let's see…a Troll, a Cerberus, a possessed Professor, Murderous Bludgers, Acromantulas, A Bassilisk, Dementors, a Hungarian Horntail, Grindylows, Merfolk, a Sphinx, Death Eaters…" he turned to glare pointedly at Umbridge "VOLDEMORT." he turned his back with a smirk as she flinched "All of which have been over the past four years…" he smiled up at McGonagal, who was looking a little pale herself "And I haven't even gotten my Owls yet. I dare say there aren't many that can boast the same, wouldn't you agree Professor?"

"Yes…" McGonagal agreed, calming herself down as she eyed the boy who lived with something between concern and respect "Well Potter, I believe that concludes our interview…you may go."

"A moment, Potter." Umbridge wheedled, still slightly pale at the mention of the Dark Lord's name as she eyed the teen warily "You mentioned a third option…"

"Well yes," Harry admitted, turning to smirk at the woman "But seeing as how the Ministry will 'never hire me' I doubt there'd be much point in running for Minister, would there?"

Gryffindor Common room...

"You are mental." Ginny muttered, even as the elder Weasleys laughed their collective arses off in the Gryffindor common room, a bemused Hermione covering her mouth as she finished her Arithmancy studies "Honestly, saying something like that to one of Fudge's people…"

"It'll certainly give the Wally something REAL to worry about." Fred sniggered, patting Harry applauding on the back "He won't be long for the sack when the public hears of this."

"I can see it now!" George declared, one hand on Harry's shoulder, the other waving through the air as he looked to the distance "Fudge sacked! Boy-Who-Lived elected youngest Minister of Magic!"

"Tell me, Minister Potter," Fred continued, leaning down beside the teen, his voice a passing resemblance to Rita Skeeter's "What will your first course of action be?"

"My first decree as minister is for you two to bugger off and let me finish my homework." Harry replied with a grin, earning a roar of approval from the twins as the group laughed the night away.

I do believe I'll leave things there.

As you can see, Harry's starting to act a little more like Virgil, truly, the student takes after the master.

who knows what the future will hold? either way, it's certain to be hilarious.