Chapter 14 –Help
Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody, help, you know I need someone, help. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured, now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down and I appreciate you being round. Help me get my feet back on the ground, won't you please, please help me . Now my life has changed in so many ways, my independence seems to vanish in the haze. But every now and then I feel so insecure, I know that I need you like I've never done before. Help me get my feet back on the ground, won't you please, please help me….*
Miley was walking the beach later that night feeling angry and very frustrated. She went to meet her "date" for the evening like they had planned via the computer and the other girl never showed up. Miley drove over seventy miles waited for two hours at the coffee shop they were to meet at and finally gave up and drove back to her house because she wanted to change her clothes and then walk the beach to do some thinking about what she was going to do about Mikayla and her decision. Miley knew what she was going to do…or thought she did. She was going to go crawling back to the lovely Mikayla and beg to serve her again. She knew that was what she wanted…wasn't it? She heard Mikayla's tone of voice and her words about no longer giving her the leeway she once did and Miley knew Mikayla would punish her severely when she came crawling back but she would accept it. Mikayla knew how to punish her without giving her pleasure. After all was it punishment if she enjoyed it? But the loss of friendship was eating at Miley…Mikayla was her friend…her true friend and since she no longer had Lilly her only friend. Miley would be hurt by the loss of that friendship…very hurt. She knew Mikayla very well and knew the lovely sexy dark haired dominant girl did not bluff so if Miley chose the Mistress Mikayla then the friend Mikayla was gone forever. She was so confused and frustrated and her "date" not showing up tonight left her desire…her need for her "fix"…so unfulfilled.
She saw her dad watching television and cursed. She could not go in the house dressed the way she was. Her "date" requested she wear a short blue plaid skirt, white button down shirt, white thigh highs, and of course black Mary Jane shoes. Yeah the classic school girl look and Miley had it of course. A lot of people liked that look but it was not her favorite. To common for her. The problem she had about her father seeing her was that her skirt was short…very short. I showed way too much for him to see and she did not feel like being yelled out by him for wearing something so revealing. She decided to walk to the pier and think. She slipped off her shoes and thigh highs and put them in her car. It was night and she knew there would be no one there since it was closed at night but she knew how to get on it. Lilly showed her a long time ago how to sneak on the pier at night. The two girls used to do it often when Lilly would spend the night with Miley. The would sneak out of Miley's room and sit on the pier and just talk for hours about everything while they snuggled close. Miley could almost smell the scent of Lilly's lilac hair as she thought about those nights and it made her shiver. Must be the cold…yeah it is a little chilly tonight and I am dressed very skimpy.
When she started walking to the end of the pier, Miley saw a figure standing on the edge and noticed it was a girl with her back turned staring out into the ocean. She was wearing a short jean skirt and plain blue top. She was gripping the railing of the pier looking into the ocean and seemed to be staggering a little back and forth. Great, Miley thought, a drunk girl…that is all I need to see. As Miley got closer she saw the girl was standing near the light and Miley could make out her long dirty blonde hair that was styled to be curly. Miley thought it was how Lilly wore her hair sometimes and Miley liked it like that. She loved when Lilly styled her hair in curls. Miley frowned as she got closer. "No…can't be. Oh God make an already terrible evening even worse why don't you." Miley muttered under her breath. She almost turned away but something made her call out to the girl…worry, concern, hope…who knew but she did.
"Lilly…Lilly is that you?" Miley called out.
The girl did not turn, "Yep…Lillian Truscott…that is me. Poor pathetic Lillian Truscott who everyone hates and everyone thinks is a whore. Lilly the whore…tonight I was a whore." The girl rocked back and forth as she held on the railing and giggled.
Miley got a little worried. If Lilly was drunk she may fall over the rail and into the water. "Lils, umm…come back here. Walk to me, okay."
"Miles…that you?" Lilly said without turning. Her voice sounding surprised and even cheerful.
"Yeah, Lilly, it's me. Come on…walk back to me ok? If you don't I am going to come get you."
"Nope…can't. Want to go swimming." Lilly said and she still had not turned around.
"No, Lilly, the waters to cold...please, baby, please come back to me." Miley started to get real concerned. "Lilly…have you been drinking?"
Lilly laughed and Miley did not like that laugh. It was a very unLilly like laugh. "No…Miles you know I don't drink…gesh…remember I am a goodie goodie and don't now about anything."
"No, sweaty, you are a good person in a wonderful way…there is nothing wrong with that. That is what makes you so special…come on, Lils…please." Miley started to get real afraid now.
Lilly giggled and Miley did not like the sound of that giggle. Again it did not sound like Lilly, "Special…that's funny, Miles, me special…no I'm not special…I'm just a whore and a loser. I don't even know how to fuck…did you know that, Miles. Oliver said I sucked and…" Lilly laughed again harshly, "Hell you know I suck to…God…how stupid of me. You did it with me too. And they said I was a pathetic fuck tonight. I thought it was simple…you know…you just do it and that was it…guess I was wrong." Lilly almost fell forward but caught her self on the railing and Miley gasped. "Opps…that was a close one huh?" Lilly giggled again in a strange voice. "What were we talking about…hey, Miles…want to talk. You did earlier today."
Miley was very afraid now and she wanted to run and grab Lilly but knew if she tried the girl may fall into the ocean. She cursed herself for leaving her cell in her car. "Sure, baby, let's talk. Come over here and we'll sit down and talk. I missed talking to you, Lils."
"Yeah…me to…what were we talking about…oh yeah…Miles, how come I suck in bed? How come I don't know how to have sex? I tried tonight…you know…do something different and I didn't like it. It hurt real bad but I wanted to understand. Both of them hurt me even after I begged them to stop."
Miley briefly wondered who Lilly had been with and what she had done to make it hurt. She shook her head…now was not the time. "You don't suck, sweetie…I swear…it was wonderful, Lilly…with me it was so wonderful. It felt so wonderful it frightened me, baby, I loved it. Please, honey…please come here. You're scaring me, Lils."
"Naw…I suck. Hey, Miles…I want to go for a swim."
"Ok…let's do that. Let's go to someone's house that has a pool. Umm…Ashley has a pool, Lilly. Let's call your friend Ashley and go to her house…ok." Miley was getting terrified.
"Naw…I think she don't like me anymore…she didn't say it but after I kissed her and she rejected me I think she's not going to be my friend anymore. She kissed nice…I liked it. Miles, how come no one wants me?"
"Please, Lilly…oh God please…come with me. I…I want you Lilly…I want you…please, baby…please come here."
"Whoa…this shit is really kicking in more now…dude…I thought it was already doing its job but now…wow." Lilly rock forward again and Miley screamed but Lilly just laughed as she grabbed the rail in time.
"No…you don't want me…remember, Miles…gesh…you are forgetful tonight. Remember the email. I can show it to you…I saved it you know…I still read it and cry over it. And remember it was just sex. I'm tired, Miles…I am so tired of crying and feeling the pain. I hate the pain, Miles; I want it all to go away…the pain…the demons…my life."
"Lils, what are you on, baby. Do you know? Do you know what you took?" She asked in a terrified voice. She was very scared now.
"Nope…said it was X…it's not X. X makes me feel happy…this stuff just makes me feel sad and lonely. I hate being alone all the time. Even when I am with people I am so alone."
Miley was surprised Lilly did X. She never did. The only drug she did was weed on occasion. It was not good to "play" on drugs. She found that out the hard way.
"Lils…who said it was X, baby."
"My date? Told me it was X…put it in my drink."
"Who…Ashley? Did Ashley do this?" Miley asked with anger in her voice. She wanted to keep Lilly talking and was hoping someone…anyone would come by.
Lilly laughed, "No, silly…not her. She rejected me…I told you…keep up with the convo, Miles."
"Who then, baby…who did this to you? Who gave it to you?"
"He said I was a whore…said he couldn't take me to a nice place to eat and be seen with me because I was the school whore and then his…his brother said I was too. Am I a whore, Miley? They say I am but…I don't sleep around…I'm not a whore am I, Miles?"
"No, baby, you are not a whore. Look at me, Lilly. Turn around and look at me, Lilly Bear."
"Can't." Lilly was still rocking back and forth as she looked at the ocean. She had yet to turn around. "Lilly Bear…I like that. I have a Miley Bear…sleep with her. I love my Miley Bear."
"I know, baby…I know. Hey, why don't we go get our Miley Bear and our Lilly Bear and go to sleep with them…Please just look at me, Lilly Bear…please." Miley pleaded.
"Can't…hurts…hey I am going swimming…k."
"No Lilly…not tonight. Why don't we go back to my house and have dad make us some of his famous loco hot coco and watch a movie. We'll come back tomorrow and go swimming. Like…like we used to." Miley was completely terrified at this moment.
"No…too many people then. They will stop it. Plus that stuff always give you weird dreams…you know that, silly." Lilly said.
"Stop what, Lils? Baby, please look at me…I want to see your pretty face…please, Lilly."
Lilly laughed, "Not pretty…you know that…cute…I am cute. I'm going swimming, Miles. I'm going to swim and swim and swim and never come back. Just let the beautiful ocean take me and love me forever. I love the ocean, Miles, it can take the pain away. Wish I had my board. Miles…go to my house and get my board."
Miley started crying as Lilly's words hit her. "No, baby, I'm not going to get your board. You don't need it, sweetie. Please turn and look at me, Lils…please."
Lilly shook her head, "No…hurts too much…to beautiful…you are too beautiful to look at. Just want to swim…I just want to swim and never come back. Make everyone happy. So easy that way, Miles…so easy."
"Lillian Truscottt…stop it! Stop it right now! Do you hear me?" Miley screamed and tears fell down her cheeks and panic hit her.
"Nope…not stopping…I hear you through. You should be quite…cops may come. Hey, Miles?"
"Yeah, sweetie."
"I love you, Miles…I love you so much. I have always loved you from the first time we met and then that love grew into something more…something deeper. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry I can't give anyone what they want." Lilly climbed on top of the railing.
"LILLY…NOOO!" Miley screamed as she ran to the edge praying she would get there in time. Lilly climbed and staggered and fell backwards and her back hit the wood of the deck of the pier and she grunted in pain and rolled over on her stomach and tried to get back up. Miley got to her before she got off the deck and held her in her arms tight as she dropped down to the wooden planks of the pier's deck. Lilly struggled and her hair was all in her face.
"Let go, Miley…let me go! Please…please, Miley…please let me die! I…I can't live like this anymore…it hurts too much. Everything just hurts too much!" Lilly screamed as she thrashed in Miley's arms but Miley held her tight.
"No…no…I am not going to let you go! I am never going to let you go! Do you hear me, Lillian Truscott! I love you and I am never letting you go! You mean too much to me and I cannot live without you! If you jump I swear to God I am right behind you! I love you and…and I am not going to live without you in my life anymore." Miley cried as she held Lilly tight and tears soaked her face. As she yelled those words she knew they were true. She finally admitted to herself and to Lilly that she was in love. That love did exist and it did exist for her. As Miley cried Lilly struggled but soon relaxed and held Miley tight.
"Why didn't you let me go, Miley…why can't I just go? I…I can't even get this right…it was to be so easy and I even fucked that up."
Miley buried her head in Lilly's chest and sobbed, "No…I am not going to let you, baby, you can't go because my life would be nothing without you in it. I…I understand that now. I need you Lilly…I need you so much. I…I thought the reason I went to watch you every Saturday at the beach was to punish myself for what I did to you…but that was only part of it. I did it because I needed something from you in my life. I needed a part of you with me all the time."
Lilly giggled, 'You are talking crazy…you are making no sense."
Miley nodded as she sat up but would not let go of Lilly, "Yeah…maybe right now I am, but tomorrow when you feel better I will explain it all…I swear I will, Lilly Bear…I swear I will explain everything to you if you promise not to leave me."
Lilly nodded, "Miles, you need to let go of me."
Miley held Lilly tighter afraid to let go. "No…I can't…I won't let you."
"No, Miles…it…it just hurts real bad now…holding me this tight. It is making me hurt real bad."
Miley, thinking Lilly meant her heart was hurting, relaxed her grip a little and lifted her head. She reached up and brushed Lilly's hair from her face. Miley wanted to look at the girl. To soak in her beauty and to drink from the loveliness of Lilly's eyes…after she moved Lilly's hair and looked into her face she wished she would not have done that; Miley screamed a wailing banshee like sound.
"Lilly…oh my God! What…who…who did this to you…Oh God Lilly…who?" Miley yelled in horror as she saw Lilly's face.
Lilly's left eye was almost swollen shut and already pitch black with a bruise…no purple or any other color but a deep black. The white of her eye was nothing but blood red and the cut below her eye was leaking blood down her face. Her right cheek was swollen and it was one large bruise that started at eye level and went all the way to her chin. Her bottom lip was swollen and busted and it also still bled.
Lilly frowned a little and the drug dulled her pain, "They did…wanted sex. Told me that was all I was good for…to fuck. Said he wanted what everyone else at school got and then he let his brother do it when he was done. Miles, I don't do that…I promise. I…I only had sex with two people before tonight. Why do they do those terrible things to me, Miles? It hurts…did you know that?""
Miley shook her head, "I…I don't know, baby…I don't know."
Lilly smiled and reached up to touch Miley's face. "So pretty…you are so lovely." Lilly lowered her hand and frowned again. "I had sex with him, Miles, and I told him I wanted him only if…only if he hurt me. He did and then he fucked me and then his brother fucked me and hurt me too. It hurt, Miles…it hurt real bad and I begged them to stop but they didn't. Just kept calling me names…terrible names."
Miley pulled her shirt off and placed it to the bleeding cut below Lilly's eye. It looked like the worse cut and the bleeding needed to be stopped. Miley held her shirt gently against Lilly and pulled her close to her chest gently.
"Why, baby, why did you do that…why sweetie?
Lilly pressed her self against Miley's chest and her forehead touched the brown haired girl's bra. Lilly brought up her right hand and gently grabbed a lock of Miley's long brown hair and placed it to her nose. "You smell good, Miles…like you always did."
Miley gently started rocking Lilly, "Please sweetie…please tell me why…why and who did this to you."
Lilly let go of Miley's hair, "I wanted to find out…I wanted to know why you liked it, Miles. I wanted to know if it felt good and why you did it."
Miley started sobbing as she held Lilly, "Noooo…please, baby…oh God nooo…what I have I done to you…why would you…Oh God…I am so sorry Lilly…I am so sorry, Lilly Bear! What have I done to my sweet precious Lilly!" Miley screamed.
"Shhh…quite, Miley…to loud. We don't want to wake up your dad."
Miley took deep breath and it suddenly hit her…yeah dad…I have a dad right? Yeah he can help take Lilly to the doctor…doctor…yeah that's it hospital…we need to get Lilly to a hospital. Miley's confused thoughts ran in her head.
"Lilly, I need you to get up ok…I need you to walk with me. We are going to my house and you can stay there with me. You can spend the night with me. Okay, baby."
Lilly nodded, "Yeah…and your dad will make me some loco hot coco…but none for you."
Miley stood up trying not to let Lilly go and she helped Lilly to her feet, "Yeah…none for me. Ok…walk, sweetie, just walk with me."
Lilly shook her head, "I thought I was going swimming? I wanted to go swimming."
"Not tonight, Lils, tomorrow we will…okay."
Lilly nodded, "Okay, Miles. Tomorrow then." Lilly took a couple of slow steps and then stopped and held her stomach. "My stomach hurts, Miles. My side."
Miley gently pulled up Lilly's shirt and saw her left side was almost one black bruise. It was very dark and Miley knew it was bad. Miley knew about bruises. Lilly had been hit or kicked hard and more than once. She forced herself to be calm. She had to be calm for Lilly. At least until she got the girl to her dad. Once her dad took over then Miley knew she could freak out and go crazy.
"Yeah, baby…you got hurt I think…you'll be ok. Now walk with me alright?"
"Sure, Miles, anything you say. You are my best friend…even when you didn't want to be I still thought you were. I never stopped loving you even when you hated me."
"And you're mine, baby, and I never hated you…shhh…just walk ok…don't talk. You need to take it easy, Lils."
Miley helped the injured Lilly walk off the pier and when the walked a little up the beach not far from Miley's house Lilly fell to her knees.
"Miley…I am going to be sick."
Miley knelt down next to Lilly and pulled the blonde girl's hair back, "Ok, Lils, I got you…you go ahead."
Miley turned her head as she heard Lilly start to vomit and held the girl's head. She was looking over her shoulder at the ocean as Lilly got sick when a light flashed over them. Miley looked up and saw a figure carrying a flash light walking very quickly to them. She let out a sigh that help was on its way. Anybody was help. At least they would have a cell phone so she could call 911.
As the light hit her eyes she looked down at Lilly when the girl stopped throwing up and her eyes inadvertently looked over Lilly's sick on the beach. It was red…blood red. Lilly was throwing up blood. Miley let out a soft wail of fear.
"Miley! Miley Stewart is that you?" The light flashed over them again.
"Daddy! Daddy…help her. You have to help her!" Miley screamed and cried and her dad came running up.
"Where have you been? I saw your car a while back and I got worried. Is that Lilly with you? Is she drunk? Are you just wearing a bra?" Robbie asked in a stern voice. Lilly got sick again and Miley looked this time and saw mostly blood come from her mouth.
"Ohhh God…daddy…daddy please help her!" Miley screamed and Robbie's flash light went up to Lilly's body. Robbie did not shine directly in her eyes as not to blind the girl but he saw Lilly's face.
"Oh Sweet Jesus! Miles…go to the house and call 911." Robbie dropped the flashlight and picked up Lilly gently in his arms. Miley did not move and Robbie turned to her.
"Damn it, girl, just don't sit there…run! I didn't bring my cell phone." Miley got up and started running to the house. "Don't call her mom, Miley; let me do it when I get to the house." Robbie yelled after his daughter. He saw the look in his daughter's face and it was fear and shock. He did not want her trying to talk to Lilly's mom. Robbie heard Lilly groan.
"Shhh…I got you, bud, I got you. You're going to be okay." He whispered soothing words in Lilly's ear as she clung to him and he carried her up the beach.
They got to the house and were walking in the open back door when Lilly looked up. "Hiiiiii, Mr. Stewart. Miley said I could spend the night…is that ok?"
Robbie walked in and placed Lilly on the sofa gently, "Of course, bud, you are welcome here anytime. We missed you around here. No one was around to steal my breakfast in the mornings."
Lilly giggled as she lay her head on the pillow, "And you left over pie…don't forget that."
Robbie smiled, "Never…Lilly I need you to sit up, bud, you can't lay down. You may have hurt your head and you can't lay down." He came around and gently pulled Lilly up and sat next to her and let her lay her head on his shoulder.
"Hey…Miles said you are going to fix me some loco hot coco…don't give her any. Gives her crazy dreams and she kicks me all night."
"Sure, bud, I will…just stay with me, Lilly." Robbie started gently touching the back of Lilly's head and soon he pulled his hand away and frowned. He found a very large lump on the back of her head. "Lilly…did someone hit you in the back of you head?"
Lilly shook her head, "No…he kicked me in the head through." She tried to stretch out on the couch. "I'm sleepy…I am getting so tired. I want to sleep now…k?"
Robbie pulled her up, "No Lilly…you can't sleep. You hurt your head and you may have a concussion and sleeping would be bad. You need to stay awake, bud, if you don't you may never wake up."
Lilly smiled, "Yeah…that us what I want…I never want to wake up. That sounds good…make all the pain go away."
Robbie heard a whimpering cry coming from the kitchen and looked up and saw his daughter standing next to the counter top island. She was staring at Lilly with wide frightened eyes and her body was shaking. "Miley! Miley Stewart look at me!" Robbie yelled and Miley looked at him. He did not like the look in her eyes. "Is she on anything…did she take any drugs? I have to know to tell the paramedics."
Miley shook her head slowly, "She…she said someone slipped her something in her drink. She…she said he told her it X but she told me she did not think it was. She…she thinks is was something else but did not know what. Make her be ok, daddy…please make her be ok." Miley started crying again.
Robbie nodded and went back to Lilly. One crisis at a time he thought. Lilly was in bad shape…real bad shape and while he knew Miley was or was going into shock he had to focus on the worse problem until the ambulance got there. "Stay awake, Lilly, just stay awake. Remember when Jake and Traci fooled you and Miley into thinking Jake was going to marry Traci in Vegas and it was all a practical joke on Hannah Montana?"
Lilly smiled, "Yeah…that was so funny."
"And then the time when Miley wanted that new cell phone and you took that picture of her as Hannah to sell to the tabloids and she was wearing her Miley necklace and you had to get the picture back?"
"Yeah…we got to meet The Rock…that was funny. We put makeup on him. He was a nice man. Liked the manicure we gave him." Lilly said with a smile.
Miley listened to her dad remind Lilly of all the crazy things her and Lilly did and she felt love for the girl again and thought how could she ever have dumped Lilly as her best friend. No one knew more about her than Lilly did. Not even Mikayla. She and Lilly shared so much with one another and she and Mikayla never shared as much regardless of how close they had become. Miley looked at the beaten girl and thought how could she ever deny the love she felt for Lilly. She cursed herself for being a coward long ago when she sent Lilly that email. Miley realized that was the worst mistake she made in her life and right now she thought she may never get to tell Lilly that or to make it up to her.
"Mr. Stewart…I'm really tired. Please stop talking…I want to go to sleep now."
"No, bud, just one more story."
Lilly frowned, "No…sleepy time and never wake up. I love her, Mr. Stewart…I love Miles so much...but don't tell her…k…she has enough to worry about than some loser like me. I just wanted you to know before I went away with all my demons." Lilly closed her eyes.
"Lilly! Lilly…wake up!" Robbie shook her gently but the girl did not move. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. Miley let out a heart wrenching high pitched scream and Robbie looked up and saw her holding her hands in her face sobbing.
"Don't let her die…please daddy…don't let her die…don't let her leave me…please, daddy!" Miley screamed in a loud shrieking wail full of raw emotion.
Robbie, still trying to gently wake Lilly, turned to Miley. "Miley! Damn it, Miley, look at me!" Miley removed her hands from her face and nodded, "She is not going to die…we won't let that happen. Now go up stairs and put on some jeans and a shirt. I want you to ride with her to the hospital." He would talk to the paramedics and let them look at Miley as well. He knew she was in shock.
Miley nodded and ran up the stairs to her room and ripped off her skirt. She grabbed a pair of jeans from her closet and tried to slip them on but her hands were shaking too much. She took several deep breaths and pulled them on again with success. She then grabbed a red tank top from her closet and slipped it over her head and then slipped on a pair if strapless sandals. She turned to go back downstairs and saw her reflection in her full length mirror. Miley walked to it and ignored how her eye makeup was running down her face with her tears. Her entire body was shaking and her breaths were coming in short hard gasps of breath. She looked at herself.
"I hate you! It is all you fault! This happened to her because of you! You did this to her! You ruined the sweetest greatest person in the world!" She slammed her fist into her mirror to hit her reflection. The mirror shattered and Miley stared at it as blood came spilling from her hand. "I fucking hate you!" Miley turned and ran back down stairs when she heard her dad call he name ignoring the pain in her right hand.
The paramedics placed Lilly in the ambulance and took Miley with them after they wrapped her in a blanket. One of the paramedics confirmed her father's concern and she was in shock and would need stitches for her right hand after they removed a few shards of glass. Robbie went to the phone and called Lilly's mom. It was a phone call he hated to make. The man grabbed a pair of Miley's jeans and one of her tee shirts from the wash room that were clean; he knew she would need clean close since hers were now bloody from her hand. He then grabbed his keys, locked the house, and drove to the hospital in Miley's car because hers was blocking his in. He said a quick prayer on the way for Lilly and also Miley, but with Lilly he did not know. He had seen many injuries from beatings in his younger days. Robby was a rounder in his younger day and had been in plenty of bar fights when he used to play the country bar scene before he met Miley's mom and then became more famous and he saw injuries like Lilly's before and often they were life threatening. Robbie was worried for Lilly. He always loved her almost like a second daughter and while he never asked Miley why she and Lilly were no longer friends, he did not see it as his place as she tried to let his daughter grow up, he missed Lilly at the house. He heard Lilly's words about not wanting to wake up and leaving for ever with her demons and they scared him. He knew what she meant. With her will to live being so weak and her injuries being so terrible Robby was very concerned Lilly may not leave the hospital alive.
* Help – The Beatles