Warnings:
Some strong language, some sexual innuendo, some dark topics, much complete weirdness. The usual effects of growing up.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or any of the other things I refer to in this story. If you want to sue me anyway, for about six dollars, be my guest.
A/N: This one was actually pretty fun to write, and this the first time Percy comes in (I made him kind of go easy on them, because there are more than enough stories where he's portrayed as evil. And he's not, he's just disillusioned.)
Karma
"Have you figured out what you're getting Alicia for her birthday yet?" Katie asked the boys the night before Alicia's birthday. The birthday girl herself was serving detention with Angelina for throwing paper airplanes charmed to explode at Slytherins during History of Magic.
"Yeah, sugar quills. Great big ones." Fred said immediately. It was what he got her for every occasion, but she didn't mind- she ran out of sugar quills almost as quickly as Angelina ran out of Band-Aids.
"Quidditch books." Lee answered. "I wrapped 'em and everything." Katie nodded approvingly, while Fred, not to be outdone, promised to wrap them before the little party they were having in the common room tomorrow evening.
"I don't know." George said despondently.
"The birthday's tomorrow, you know. You've had plenty of time to come up with a present. Why don't we nip down to Hogsmeade, and buy something?"
"The Katie Bell, queen of rules, is suggesting sneaking out? I believe we've been a good influence here, Gred!"Fred said excitedly.
"Well, normally, I wouldn't, but it is her birthday tomorrow, and I do so want her to have nice presents, because, well-" she trailed off, not knowing exactly how to explain.
"Because you can't bear people to be unhappy," Lee said. "That's the difference between you three."
"What is?" Katie asked. Lee always had the best ways of saying things.
"You can't bear chaos, Alicia knows chaos happens sometimes, and Angelina causes the chaos." Lee explained.
"Chaos is good," was Fred's only comment.
"Chaos aside, George, did you ask her what she wanted?" Katie said, tickled by Lee's explanation.
"Well, I did." He admitted.
"What did she want?"
"Theodore Nott's dead body." George sighed. "To feed to the owls or something equally as horrifying."
"Why? Did he mess with them?" Fred said, standing up and making fists, ready to march to the Slytherin common room to deliver the present.
"Something like. I think Angelina said he was trying to flirt with them in potions." Lee said.
Fred smirked, already knowing the end of this story. "How long was he out?"
"Almost three hours. Remarkable." Lee grinned. Katie rolled her eyes, exasperated.
"You're not going to get her that for a present, are you?" she asked.
"Why not?" grinned Fred. "We won't kill him, of course, seeing as we don't fancy Azkaban, but maybe just petrify him or something."
"Sounds good. Let's go." George agreed, running upstairs to get the map. Katie sighed and warned them to be careful. It occurred to her that she should tell a teacher, but, after all, she did want Alicia to have a happy birthday…
….some time, some space…..
"And now my present." George announced, and dragged something very heavy and very large from under a table- one petrified Theodore Nott. Angelina applauded loudly and told the twins 'well done' several times. Lee grinned and clapped them on the back. Alicia was sputtering and laughing, unsure of what to say.
"George Weasley, you will be the death of me." She managed at last. George bowed.
"Oh, hold on, I'm going to go get a marker and a camera." Angelina said, and ran upstairs. George and Fred congratulated themselves, and Alicia thanked them profusely, while Katie worried whether they had gone too far.
"He had it coming to him." Lee said. "You mess with one, you mess with all six." Katie supposed he was right, but didn't stop worrying.
And with perfectly good reason, too. The petrificus totalus was wearing off, and no one realized that the once still body had begun to move.
George gasped as Theodore's beefy hand grasped his ankle. "Weasley!" he shouted. "You are going to regret you were ever born!" It was a fight of pride- no one used any magic. This was about punches and knockouts, not hexes and jinxes.
George insisted that he wasn't, until Theodore got up and landed a solid punch in his stomach. Infuriated, Lee whacked the Slytherin around the head. Alicia tried to kick him in the groin, but missed, and hit Lee's knee instead. He grunted, and the split second gave Theodore a chance to shove him to the ground.
George ignored a barrage of punches to his face and chest as he tried to grab Theodore's throat. Fred tried choking him from behind, but doubled over when Theodore's elbow slammed into his solar plexus. Katie squealed, and tried to punch Theodore in the eye. She hit him, but the blow wasn't hard, and she was in his range long enough for him to grab her blonde hair. She slammed her head into him, and climbed on top of a table.
Fred realized that Theodore was too big, too strong, and too good a fighter . They were going to get creamed, unless they had backup. Percy was useless in fights, and Bill and Charlie had graduated. He tossed his wand to George, who caught it, but his mouth was bloodied, and couldn't say anything properly.
He ran upstairs and climbed up the railing to the girls' room. Angelina was nowhere to be found. "Oi, Angelina!" he called impatiently. "There's a fight in the common room and we need help!"
"All right, then!" she said cheerfully, rolling out from under the bed with a camera. She tossed it to him, and ran downstairs.
"Hey!" she shouted in a booming, Charlie Weasley volume.
Theodore saw her and rolled his eyes. "What are you going to do about it?" he said threateningly. Alicia tried to signal Angelina by drawing her finger across her throat, but Angelina didn't pay attention.
"Rip out your spine and beat you to death with it." She growled. Theodore gulped. Angelina nodded ever so slightly at Alicia, who slammed her hand onto the table. Theodor turned around to see what the noise was. In that split second, Angelina landed a roundhouse kick to his chest. He staggered back, and threw careless punches. Angelina dodged most of them, and taunted, "Is that all you got? I've seen babies fight better."
Theodore grabbed Angelina by the shirt. "Listen, bi-"
Angelina never gave him a chance to finish. In the blink of an eye, she struck him above the elbow, which made a sickening popping sound, punched him squarely in the nose, and twisted his wrist until a 'crunch' was audible.
"Get him outta here!" she ordered a sixth year who was passing by, wide-eyed. He listened.
"Ok, so no more petrified people for birthdays." Katie said decisively.
"I didn't actually mean it, George, I was only kidding. I was just really mad, I didn't expect you to actually do this!" Alicia laughed, holding her swollen fingers. George rolled his blackened eye.
"Well, we wouldn't have done it, if he hadn't messed with you." George said. "No, we would have, he's a slimy Slytherin git, but you know."
"Angelina said it would be fine, this morning!" Fred protested. "She thought it was funny! It was her idea!"
"Yeah, it's Angelina's fault!" George chimed in.
"Angelina has detention." Announced Percy Weasley.
"You can't give me detention!" Angelina said indignantly.
"Why not, miss?" asked Percy in his very best prefect voice, even though Angelina was a little scary.
"I already have detention." She explained in a grumble. Percy rolled his eyes.
"Oh, all right, I'll let it slip. But I hope you won't do this again." The six looked at him like he'd grown feathers form his nose. Of course they wouldn't do it again, they had bigger, crazier tricks planned.
"We learned from this that…" Percy prompted.
"Err.. Karma's a bitch?" Angelina suggested. Everyone laughed at that, even Katie.
Oh, that reminds me: best comeback I ever heard-
Person 1: uggh, my nail paint is like coming off, my hair is all like frizzy, and my eye makeup is smudged. This is, like, the worst day ever!
Person 2: Why did I take three AP classes? I'm not gonna get any sleep this weekend!
Person 1: whatever, just like deal with it! Karma's a bitch
Person 2: Only if you are …..and walks off, leaving everyone gapingJ