Starships and Spitwads
by icypinkpop
Pairing: Zim & Dib Friendship (ZaDF)
Disclaimer: Jhonen Vasquez gets all the glory for these two.
Warnings: Not many…Perhaps a little OOC-ness, and slight language.
Author's note: Well this is a…surprising return. How long has it been since I posted any fanfiction?
I couldn't help but want to write a story about these two. Apparently I live under a rock, because at the ripe old age of 19 I've only now discovered Invader Zim. And what a great discovery that was.
This really isn't supposed to be ZaDR-y, but going in with preconceived notions takes out all the fun, so please, I encourage you to interpret it as you wish.
My overall goal in writing this was to stay as in-character as possible. I love these guys, so I wanted to capture them as best I could. I hope that you can give me some feedback on how you think I did.
Enjoy!
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It was all Dib could do to keep from rushing home as quickly as humanly possible, booted feet tripping over one another more than once as he stumbled purposefully down the street and to his looming purple-grey house with the round green windows. In an instant, he was halfway up the stairs.
Dib brushed hurriedly around the corner, coat whipping behind him as he turned into the hall and came morbidly close to a head-on collision with the only other consistent resident of the household.
"Can't talk, Gaz!" he shouted hurriedly and ducked into his bedroom, dropping to his knees and placing the alien-scanning machine still nested in his arms gently aside on his carpet. He had an idea, and he wanted to at least start on it before he could forget about it. Usually his ideas had to do with stopping Zim or saving the Earth, but Dib couldn't find himself interested in the fact that this plan was somewhat opposite to normal. The nature of the thing hardly mattered. Today, Dib felt like he could really get something done, something worthwhile- and he wasn't even sure what his real goal was. What was he going to gain through doing this?
Dib sorted through the littered pile of mechanic junk he had never cleaned out (half of which was still on his bed from before), snatching the translator with a slow grin. The goal didn't seem to be too overwhelming a matter at the moment because he knew the logistics of what he wanted to do, even if he wasn't quite sure why he wanted to do it. Even with hobbies like hunting bigfoot and tracking ghosts, Dib knew he had never been so serious about anything so very indefinite in his life.
Placing all relevant technology into his backpack and hauling it over his shoulder, Dib tightened the strap purposefully and headed back out of his bedroom and down the stairs as quickly as he had come, leaving his younger sister squinching her eyes at him.
Used to her brother's antics, Gaz marched off to resume level thirty nine.
o~o
The sense of excited dread that coursed through Dib at the sight of the tall, familiar façade actually stopped him right where he was. Standing awkwardly at the edge of the pavement, the boy gazed up into the large, trapezoidal pink window that glared right back at him, reminded of someone's eyes. Not having anticipated hesitance on his part, he gulped and forced himself to take a step forward. He eyed the lawn gnomes that stared in his direction, pleasantly surprised not to see any of them move.
Well, here goes nothing… Biting his lip, Dib reached out and took ahold of the curved men's-room door handle, bracing himself for what was sure to be a figh-
CREAK
The door swung open. Having been in the middle of removing his screwdriver from his coat pocket, Dib stared at the opening in amazement. It wasn't even locked?
Not sure whether to be relieved or crept out by this, he returned the tool to his pocket and glanced upwards, verifying that the roof was still open from the Voot's last departure before taking a breath and stepping in.
The first thing he noticed was the darkness. Dib blinked rapidly behind his glasses, trying to get his eyes used to the stark change between the streetlight-lit pavement behind and the undeniably eerie darkness before him. After a few moments of feeling cold and sweaty, he lifted a foot and made an experimental step, coming dangerously close to falling flat on his face as a red glow flashed out around him.
"Wah!" Staggering and reaching out, eyes having adjusted enough to be able to see the edge of the big purple sofa at one side of Zim's living room, Dib held tightly onto the cushy arm and looked around slowly, mouth falling open. The house would have seemed normal inside, if not for a large screen that was now present on the wall above the couch. Around the screen was a border of tubing that glowed a ghostly magenta, creeping Dib out beyond words.
It took Dib a moment to realize that the screen was hanging right where the yellow monkey image had been before.
Oh, right, that thing's a…wait a minute…
Dib stood straight, by this time able to get a better look around the room by the courtesy of the red light. He stood atop the sofa before reaching out and lightly touching the screen with two fingers.
I wouldn't try that, if I were you.
Dib promptly screamed and fell onto the uncomfortable floor, startled by the booming voice that emanated out at him from seemingly everywhere around the room. His brain buzzed with the cybernetic tone and he shuddered, body tensing. What was that? Did someone know he was here? Was the house going to exterminate him even without its master there to give the order to do so?
His eyes widened when he saw the screen momentarily flash a bright white, fading to a dark purple but obviously at least minimally operational. Automated voice echoing in his head, Dib stood warily and clutched his backpack to himself, slowly realizing that what he had come for might have just fallen unintentionally into his arms. He recognized that tone...
"...Zim's computer?"
I guess, the voice replied in its bored tone, thrumming out around Dib as if coming from a surround-sound system.
More surprised than anything that the computer was actually working enough to talk to him, Dib coughed softly and took a seat warily on the sofa. He supposed he should consider it a blessing that nothing had marked him as an intruder yet and gone to shove him off the premises.
"Well, uh, I…" Dib took a deep breath, deciding it was better than talking to himself, even though he hadn't planned on having company whilst he got to work on his scheme.
"I know what happened with Zim. He's gone and his…leader aliens disconnected his PAK," the boy finally managed, trying to get the reality of it all straight in his head, mostly. "He went out into space somewhere."
Yeah.
Slightly perplexed by the boredness of the affirmation, Dib continued.
"I really want to…know where he went, you know? So…" By this point pretty trusting that he wasn't going to be vaporized on sight or anything like that, he reached into his backpack and took out the language-translation device and signal interceptor, also pulling out a grey, steel box and unlocking it with a key he shook from his sleeve to reveal neatly packed cords and plugs.
"I thought if I used the signal interceptor to connect to Zim's Voot cruiser in space and integrated the translation device with your operating system, I'd be able to lock onto exact coordinates and get translated information in my language about his location!"
Ahh.
Dib frowned, excitement grinding to a momentary halt. Was that a yawn?
"…so, now that I know you work and I don't have to do repairs on you," he continued, pleasantly surprised with the fact that the computer didn't seem to have suffered the same fate as Zim's PAK. "How about helping me out?"
Hmm…
Dib's heart leapt into his throat. This was it!
No.
And there it went back down again. Frustrated already, Dib bit down on his lip and looked up at the dark purple screen, even though it didn't display anything yet.
"But why? I know you have the technology to do it!" he complained, eyes narrowed. "He's your master, isn't he? Don't you care about finding him, either? Doesn't he have to be here to give you orders?" Realizing something slowly at the mention of orders, Dib slowly took a seat on the coffee table and went over the events of the past few days, slowly coming to the conclusion that something was wrong.
"Hey…where's Zim's robot thing?" he inquired, frowning. It wasn't unlike GIR to leave his guard down and thereby allow trespassers into the base, but the fact that he hadn't heard or seen him since the PAK incident was strange…
Right behind you, Big-Head.
Startled and then embarrassed, Dib looked down at the floor as if to avoid staring eyes and turned around slowly, mouth going dry at the metal clink that sounded out when he moved his foot. He stared at the curled pile of metal and reached out to gently flip it with the toe of his boot, watching as the round, blank black eyes of the robot swung into view. Surprisingly, the robot didn't seem to be beaten up or dismantled, only…
"Deactivated?" Dib inquired more to himself than anyone, kneeling down and reaching out to observe the empty shell. The Tallest had probably taken care of that soon after they had set Zim's PAK to self-destruct mode.
An automated sigh was heard in the background.
Mhmm.
Man, when had Zim's computer gotten so moody? Supposing it suited Zim to have a fussy computer since the alien was picky and often whining himself, Dib shook his head a little unknowingly and sat up, releasing GIR and turning to face the screen again. He considered asking the computer why it hadn't been deactivated as well, but he figured that would create some kind of unnecessary stubbornness that wouldn't be good for getting his mission accomplished.
"So can you help me?" he tried again, scanning the screen and the side of it for any connection panels. Remembering what the ceiling looked like, he stared at the giant mass of cords and connection plugs up above his head. Surely one of them would be useful…
No.
Dib winced. He really didn't want to fight with this thing. For a moment, he considered threatening it (he did have quite a few dismantling tools on him, after all, having assumed beforehand he was going to need to do repairs on the thing since his own computer didn't possess all the Irken data he would need to accomplish his goal), but the fact that it talked probably meant it could still do a lot more, too, and he wasn't sure he wanted the cords over his head to wrap around his throat.
Taking a deep breath, he swallowed down whatever he could manage of his frustrations and looked up with his hands clasped. When all else failed…
"Please?"
A computed sigh vibrated the floor beneath Dib's feet, and relief began to bubble up in the boy's beating organ.
Fine.
Suddenly, a series of small purple cords began to slither out from behind the right side of the dark screen, twisting in a snakelike mass and creeping over toward Dib's leg. For a moment, Dib was wary that they might wrap around his ankle and do something hostile, only to watch as a couple of the ends plugged into the port on his signal-interceptor machine. He raised his eyebrows. For once, all he had had to do was ask.
"Uh…" He blinked and watched the interceptor screen light up, fingers itching at his sides as he looked up at the large screen on the wall, which was currently also lit.
"All right, Computer," he stated, hands clicking over the small instrument plugged with wires and hunching over in preparation for a night of extreme concentration.
"Let's see what you can do…"
However many hours passed as he worked, Dib hadn't the slightest idea. Curled on the sofa and facing the screen, the boy typed and typed constantly at lightening speed, doing his best to recall all the hacking tips and tricks he had accumulated as he navigated the Computer system and overcame security barriers and such. As he worked at the master keyboard under the monitor, he kept his hazel eyes glued to the happenings on the screen, stopping only to wipe sweat from his brow and once to inhale a chocolate bar he discovered in his coat pocket. When he felt his throat begin to go parched, he fought it off for as long as possible before an accidental sneeze sent him spiraling into a coughing fit, throat protesting each and every stretch of muscle as he was forced to curl back against the couch. Just as he managed to quiet…
Signal successfully acquired. Connecting to remote link.
Dib's heart jumped into his throat as he sat up suddenly, regretting the motion that sent a firework-like explosion of pops and cracks down his previously hunched spine. He stared up at the monitor, which (thanks to some tweaking of the translation device) now displayed lines and lines of both the English and the Irken language. Each line flashed as it was translated and readable numbers and words appeared. Dib's palms began to sweat.
C'mon, please work, please wor-
Remote link established.
He could have fainted. Leaping to his feet again, not at all bothered by the fact that both his legs seemed to be asleep from the hours of sitting, the boy clutched ahold of his translation decide stolidly, peering up at the bright screen as he shifted from foot to foot in excitement.
"C-Computer!" he eventually managed, ignoring the familiar sigh. "Determine coordinates for location of remote link!"
I don't want to.
Dib's enthusiasm was barely dampened. He was just so happy. For once, he had done something right, all on his own. He'd thought of it himself, executed it perfectly, gotten the information he needed to get. His plan was actually a success!
"Please! Just do this and I'll leave you alone for the rest of today, I promise!"
A moment of silence passed, followed by a series of small beeps and a flash of an image on the screen. Dib watched the display, noticing a large photograph of what appeared to be some kind of purple-blue planet sitting amongst the cosmos.
Location of Voot runner 29822: Planet Rot.
Planet status: To be acquired.
"Planet Rot," Dib echoed in amazement, staring at the swirling, greenish clouds that circled and moved around the surface of the globe. So THIS was where Zim was? But why? Surely he had a purpose for going to that particular planet. Dib was certain that his rival had gotten some satisfaction out of leaving Dib so suddenly without anyone to try to expose or any opportunity to build the credibility he had sought for years, but surely that didn't have anything to do with Planet Rot.
Zim had to have had some reason for going there, but what could it be? The little alien was certainly in some kind of galactic exile, at least, if Dib understood things correctly, so could he really be there on a mission? What other reason could he have had to leave? Why not stay where he was, on Earth?
Horrible weather we're having on your filthy, human planet.
Dib bit his lip bitterly, thinking to himself sarcastically. Maybe Zim just hated the rain and had decided to find somewhere less wet.
As if on cue, a crash of thunder rang out behind him, startling Dib off of the couch again. Catching his breath, he turned and gazed out through the pink glass of the window, ears relaxing at the softer sound of rain pattering down upon it outside. In that moment, Dib realized he wasn't really sure where to go from here; so he knew where Zim was. Big deal. What was he going to do about it?
Dib gazed warily over at the computer screen, glad to see it was still running. Something told him he wasn't going to have any success going anywhere that night, whether that 'anywhere' was the comfort of his bedroom at home or the cold stretches of space. His heart began to beat a bit faster as he began to consider seriously the most sensible course of action, eyes diverting momentarily from the screen on the wall. Now that he knew where Zim was…
"Computer? Does Zim have any extra space ships anywhere?" he asked, a little surprised by the shakiness of his voice.
As Dib should have predicted, another sigh.
An escape pod in the attic, Computer replied, sounding rather like someone who had been woken up from a comfortable sleep.
Escape pod. That was it. If Dib was going to find Zim, he had to plan his trip carefully, and make sure he had Rot's coordinates before heading off. A sudden and painful ache in his brain caused him to lean back against the cushions, the prospect of thinking all this through tomorrow seeming incredibly inviting.
Dib felt his throat ache and stood, waving slightly on his still-asleep feet as the thunder brought his attention back to his current location. Nope, he wasn't going anywhere tonight. In fact, since nobody really lived here anymore…Maybe nobody would mind if he raided the fridge?
"Thanks, Computer…" Keeping his promise not to bother the technology any further, he walked stiffly into the kitchen. He really needed a drink. Come to think of it, if he was going to spend the night…Blankets would be nice too.
About five minutes later, Dib found himself curled on the sofa under a thick black cover he had found stuffed in a closet, a mug of hot chocolate milk in his hand and glasses sat on the coffee table. Computer, seemingly having taken advantage of Dib's promise, seemed to have powered down, since the screen had reached a complete blackness void of any images or even static. The result was a dark, dark room, lit only by the maroon tubing that glowed on the ceiling and around the edge of the black screen. Setting his drink aside, the human curled in on himself and faced the cushions, listening to the pounding of the rain outside.
He supposed he should get used to the noise now. Out in space…It was certain to be quiet, right?
Dib paused at that thought, unable to help but smile just a little bit.
Well, maybe not if Zim was in it.
Eyes twitching with that familiar, unsatisfied fatigue, Dib lowered his lids and stared blurrily at the sofa fibers. Like usual, he was sure he wouldn't get much sleep, if any, especially when he thought about just how much preparation was required the next morning. Nope, definitely no sleep for…for…
The sound of soft snoring was the only noise in the room.
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I freaking love sleepy Dib. *heart heart heart*
Thank you. Oh so much more to come.