As I Fall Chapter 14: What I Want, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

33 pages! Booya! XD

shizuma-temari-yuri: New reviewer! -tackles- Hiya! XD "OMG Honda.Is.EVIL" Ja. He's got an essential role in this story. -rubs hands together in anticipation- Oh I can't wait! "And Marik...what's with him?" Oh lots of stuff. He's got issues. (Marik: So do you!) -frowns- Personal attack!

HieiWannabe: -sighs- I knew SOMEONE would pick up on that tourniquet thing. I remembered all that stuff...after the fact. -rolls eyes- It always comes back to you several chapters later and by then people have read it and notice. Ah well, just as long as none of the readers try it. -hopeful look- Anyway, it's good you pointed that out and I'm happy at least one person did. (Kinda scary how no one else mentioned it, isn't it? O.o) Once again, thank you for the critiquing and such. There shall be tid bits such like it later on (I won't go into detail 'cause what fun would that be?) and I want you to tell me what you think of it, k? -huggles-

She Who Fears Not The Darkness: New reviewer! -tackles- Hi! "What can I say, I love this story and have officially been converted to the ways of Jou/Baku. Yays!" Yays indeed! XD This story has converted me to the pairing too! (Baku: WTF?!) Seriously, I'd seen one other fic with this pairing...it was discontinued. Then I'm working on another fic (actually it's the sequel now) where the two have a sort of rough friendship. And I thought: What would happen if it went...further? And here we are! Like you said: Yays! XDXDXD

DFAnaomi: There you are! -glomps- "But I've been so busy" Yeah, I know how that goes. Wellll...okay, not at the moment, technically, but still...(Baku: You are truly pathetic) -sigh- It's true. Yes, I tried to lead up to the whole Baku/Yami thing. I hates it when those things suddenly just are put in as plot twists with nothing to back themselves up. Sounds like I did all right then.

nayades18: "i think Malik is LYING, I don't know why but I'm almost sure of that." Hmm...interesting. There are a few doubters amongst you. Lessee what happens, shall we? XD "i especially like yami, he is indeed ADORABLE" (Yami: O.O Me?! REALLY?! -tackles nayades-) -grins- No one's ever said that about him in my fics. You're his new best friend.

Kit-Cat-Caitiln: "So, i finally have caught up on this one. And LURVE it to death... lurve it to the point where, when I'm supposed to be typing up my final project Lab for chemistry, I'm sneaking on here instead" LOL I'm honored. Truly! -snuggles- I know how that goes when you love a fic. I waved off many a study hour when someone updated my favs. -grins- "just thought i'd inform you I still exist and worship you" Whoot! XD

dragonlady222: "Hospitals and doctors are not fun" Indeed not. It's funny, I took this career assessment test at my college and nearly all of the jobs it came up with involved medical practices or teaching (I hates children). -.-; Stupid test. Glad you liked the flashbacks. There's one in this chapter. (dragonlady: Yippee!) XD

bakura240: "my head's still screwed" (Baku: So is ferris's!) Shut up!...Anyway, "Just DID NOT see that one coming!" Hmm...well, I hope it's all right though. I did drop subtle hints and such just enough that it's -hopefully- believeable. And yes, we all feel bad for poor sick Baku...even though it's mostly his own damn fault. (Baku: Hey! I want sympathy!) Then take your meds and can it. (Baku: -.-)

MarshmellowPeepGod:Yes, the horror movie children! -shudders- They are the true evil! EVIL!..."I'm curious to know how Yami found out he could touch bakura? Did he just trip and run into him one day or somfin?" ROFL!! (Yami: -sigh-) (Bakura: I don't see what's so funny.) -grinning madly- That is just a Great mental image.

Night Rain Illusion: Mmmm...think Malik's lying? (Marik: He's WHAT?!) Erm...I didn't say he was! I just said...(Marik: That cheating, two faced, good for nothing...!) Aaaand we'll leave him to rant. -sweatdrop- Yes, Yugi's back! Go Yugi! As you'll see, he's become extremely supportive of the whole thing. (Yugi: Does that mean I'll get my fans back?)

Fallin-Alone-Scared-Lost: "that was a bit unexpected but yet makes a lot of sense" I was hoping you'd say that. I tried to give little hints so it wouldn't be an unexpected thing that had nothing to back it up whatsoever. Then there's still the issue of Malik which many people are having probs with. -grins- Ahh, I love it.

pennypigeon: "WoW you had me believing BxM, poor jou, he's got it all wrong" -grins- (Jou: I whaaa...?) Nothing nothing! (Jou: -glares- You're hiding something) I'm always hiding something. (Jou: Fair enough)

Silver Hunteress: "So what? Were Malik and Bakura just sharing a bed? Nekkid?" eheheehe! That spelling makes me giddy! XD Ah, you're the most uncertain about Malik, Yami, and Bakura. Very open-minded. I likes. "Taking your time with a chapter is (I think) a million times better than writing to get it done and having it way below par with your other works" Well I'm glad to hear that! -huggles- And as for BTS, I haven't started the next chapter for that one yet. We're almost done with that fic! Can you believe it?! -faints-

Rogue1979: "OMG! And WTF?! HOLY CRAP and so on and so forth" LOL Well I'm glad you...liked it? -grins- Good reaction to it. "Nice long chapter. I hope the next one is just as long with lots of juicy info and stuff" Wellll...that's more next chapter, but this one's got plenty.

Memnoch's Heart: "Yes Malik IS a ray of sunshine (at least, his fanbased personality is. A psychotic ray of sunshine)" LOL I never knew there was such a thing. (Malik: -muttering- Ray of sunshine my ass) Nyummmy! Yesss, your ass...(Malik: -glare-) Oh all anime characters stand like that. O.o Does that mean they're ALL GAY? Whoa. Sudden epiphany! Though it would explain a lot. Ye gads, it's every fan-girl's dream! XD

This chapter shall be dedicated to shizuma-temari-yuri, She Who Fears Not The Darkness, and dear HieiWannabe (winks).

"Beautiful Disaster" Kelly Clarkson

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

Chapter 14: What I Want

(Yugi's POV)

I scurry about the kitchen making spaghetti and meatballs—a late dinner. I've been pulling a chair around with me so I can get ingredients out of cupboards and reach the top of the stove. It's different at our house, as everything is adjusted to accommodate Grandpa and I's short stature. I swear, this is more of a workout than I'd get at a gym.

Lifting the lid on the pot to see if the water for the noodles is boiling yet, I turn my head slightly at the sound of soft footfall. Yami's standing in the doorway that adjoins to the open dining room. His usually bright eyes are lackluster.

"Hey Yami," I greet. "How's everything going? Is Ryou resting?"

My darker half nods. "Finally. He and Malik are sleeping in his room with the thief."

I quirk an eyebrow. "Really? Wow. I'm surprised since they've been fighting so much. Ryou sure has changed since before we left for the convention."

"Many people have changed since then," my darker half murmurs, wandering over as I stir the sauce, sniffing the air. "Abiou, is that alcohol I smell?"

I grin. "Sure is. I put some wine in the sauce for more flavor." He gives me a disapproving look. "Oh don't even start. The heat causes the alcohol to evaporate but leaves the taste."

"If you say so."

I snort, noting that atop the chair I'm nearly as tall as he is. "How's Jounouchi?"

"He dozed off while watching television." Yami's brow creases. "Which reminds me: have you seen Marik?"

"Oh yeah," I reply, setting the sauce-covered spoon aside. "He went to the mall to buy some more outfits for him and Malik. Apparently they didn't bring anything with them from Egypt."

"Ah." A momentary silence follows. "Yugi?"

"Hmm?"

"How did he seem?" My darker half's voice is hushed; like he's worried we'll be overheard by all of the slumbering people spread throughout the house.

"Who?" I ask, not looking at him as I hop down from the chair, tugging it across the smooth tile floor to a cupboard above the counter. Yami follows, not offering to help like he usually does.

"Marik. How did he seem?"

Oh, I get it.

"He was…less tense than before," I answer distractedly as my eyes sweep over the little glass bottles of spices and herbs. "Actually, he was relatively calm and easygoing." I angle my neck in order to look at Yami. "Do you think maybe he didn't confront Malik? Then again, I think he'd still be fuming mad if he hadn't."

An unrecognizable emotion flickers in my darker half's eyes. He stares across the way at the stove where the spaghetti sauce is bubbling lighting in a pan emitting an intoxicating aroma. Next to it there's foaming hot water pouring over the sides of the pot, sizzling into the burner.

"Yami, could you get that?"

He doesn't answer, not even seeming aware that I'm here. What's gotten into him?

((Yami! The water! Can you please get that?))

He jumps slightly, blinking in surprise before hurrying over to the stove. I give him a weird look, leaping down from the chair, garlic in hand, and commence in lugging it back to the stove. Touching him through our mind link seems to have brought him back from whatever cloud he was on. I clamber atop the chair again.

((Something on your mind?))

Shoulders sagging, he watches as I meticulously prepare the appetizer: garlic bread sticks

(I don't know, Yugi. Something about Marik just seems…off.)

I laugh. "Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out, Yami." He sends me an indignant look. "All right all right, so his sudden change in behavior is odd. Provided that he spoke with Malik, his yami must have told him something to reassure him about their relationship."

Yami's visibly pales. "…Perhaps."

Frowning, arms akimbo, I turn to him. "What is wrong with you? For heaven's sake, even if Malik still loves Bakura and just told Marik a pack of lies, it gives us a moment's peace! Can you at least enjoy it a little?"

"I can't help it. Something's not right about this…"

"Oh, so you've noticed too?" I cut in sarcastically.

"Stop being condescending, abiou. I'm serious here!" he exclaims, anger vibrating in his voice.

I narrow my eyes, studying him scrupulously now. He's sweating, although it is warm in here. His limbs are trembling ever-so-slightly. And I can sense he's blocked me from reading his thoughts.

"You're hiding something," I state plainly.

Violet eyes widen but he doesn't deny anything. I can gaze right into them, courtesy of the chair. Whatever it is, he's terrified I'm going to find out. Normally, I wouldn't intrude upon his personal qualms, but this is different. It's bothering him enough that he can't even manage to hide it.

"Is this really about Marik?" I question further when he doesn't speak.

My yami turns his attention back to the food on the burners. Okay, I'm getting unnerved. What could it possibly be? Marik's brightening demeanor troubles him. Assuming Malik and him did talk, his yami must have told him the romantic feelings Malik used to feel for Bakura are no more. That'd be the only way Marik would be so at ease. It would also leave the thief single. I gaze at Yami in shock.

"This is all about Bakura, isn't it?"

The color drains from his face. "W-what?"

Folding my arms over my chest, I stare him down. "Look Yami, if you're really that uncomfortable with all of this it's okay to admit it."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Yugi."

Yeesh, him and his pharaoh pride.

I sigh. "To be quite frank, Yami, I was surprised and impressed when you said you would support Jou not matter what he decides concerning Bakura. I think, though, you were secretly hoping for a different outcome. It's not that I'm going to think any less of you for it."

"What?" The tension around him is building. Gods, he looks ready to pass out.

"Face it," I reach out and grasp his shoulder. "You wanted Malik to still have feelings for Bakura. And you wanted those feelings to be reciprocated by Ryou's yami." I lean closer to him. "Truthfully, despite your heart telling you to support Jou, your mind's been hoping Bakura will turn him down. You don't trust Bakura. He could hurt Jounouchi. You don't want them to be together."

My darker half stares at me, mouth open. I can see his thoughts racing. To my confusion, instead of getting more upset, an unbelievably calm air comes over him. Yami smirks at me, muscles loosening under my hold.

"Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, could I?" he chuckles.

I frown, releasing him. "Why didn't you just say something?"

"Jounouchi's upset enough as it is, Yugi."

"Then couldn't you at least have confided in me?" I ask, hurt. "You can't just bottle up things like that. I know this wasn't easy for you right from the start. How could it be, considering all you and Bakura have gone through?" Once again, that strange spark in his eyes. "By the looks of things, there's going to be the possibility of Jou and Bakura becoming a couple. Please, Yami, let's—the two of us—talk about this as it progresses."

A small smile tugs at his lips and he nods. "Very well, Yugi. And I apologize for not speaking about this. It's just…" I swear that glimmer just flashed in his eyes again. "…this is a very delicate matter for me."

It is. He's been enemies with Bakura for over three thousand years. Should it come as any shocker that he's disturbed that one of his best friends is in love with the infamous tomb robber?

I hold out my arms and embrace him lightly. "No more hiding our fears about this, okay Yami? No more secrets."

His fingers dig into my shoulder blades. My heart tightens. Is it still bugging him? I suppose this isn't something he can just get over.

"Yami?" I ask nonetheless.

"Right Yugi," he states in such a detached way that I wish I could see his face. "No more secrets."

(Bakura's POV)

It's hard to open my eyes, almost like there's some sticky substance between the lids. When my vision focuses, I find myself at the house again. I'm on my back on the single bed. Squinting while turning my stiff neck to the left I find hikari asleep; a pillow propped under his head, body pressed against the wall.

His face is wan. He must be completely exhausted; taking care of me, arguing with Malik—which I know is draining. A light snore that I instantly recognize sounds out. I strain my muscles to lift my head just slightly. There's Malik himself at the foot of the bed. He's sitting, back against the wall, legs stretched across the width of the bed, crossed at the ankles.

They both stayed with me? I stare at hikari in mystification. I mean, he's always looked out for me, but since his return from Egypt he's been a completely different person. He's been facing off against Malik…not to mention nearly clubbing the mutt to death…

Wait. Where is Katsuya? Did they leave him alone downstairs? I suppose Marik could be with him. My stomach begins to churn when I see the Millennium rod clutched in Malik's hand. I have the ring. So does the mutt have nothing? I'm not sure if it's still the same day, but his wounds can't possibly be healed enough yet.

Fighting to keep my eyes open, I turn my attention back to Malik. He, without a doubt, is furious with me for multiple reasons. Hikari said both he and Malik know about me and the mutt. I don't even remember telling them. Damn head trauma! I can't even trust myself to keep secrets anymore!

There's a soft knock at the door...er…doorframe. Struggling, muscles aching, I crane my neck to find Marik standing there in his lilac belly shirt, gold earrings, and tight leather pants. In each of his hands is a shopping bag bulging with clothes.

"Look at those two snoozing angels," he grins, placing the bags down and stepping into the room. "Can't blame them though. I mean, you guys were at the hospital for a long time…"

"Hospital?" I croak, throat sore.

The young Egyptian gives me a weird look. "Yeah. You were barfing like crazy so Malik and Ryou had to take you to the ER. Apparently they got tons of meds for you to help you get off that shit." He stops next to the bed, tone chiding. "What were you thinking? Seriously, heroin? Couldn't you have found a pastime more…productive?"

"I don't owe you any explanations, Marik," I retort hoarsely.

He smirks in that infuriating way of his. "Well Malik and I did fly all the way over here."

"Why?"

Violet eyes roll in exasperation. "Why? Please, you can't have gotten that much denser since when we teamed up in Battle City."

I try to glare but this attempt hurts my forehead too much. This only seems to amuse him even more. Stupid little prick.

(Marik's POV)

"So how did it happen?" I ask curiously, gazing into those reddish eyes lined with shadows. "Did you just decide to start it up or was there a decline first?"

Dry lips tighten. I've never seen the thief in such a state mentally. He was always so in control. He'd have a goal and would not be deterred from it, no matter how many thousands of years he'd been trying. Although we argued constantly when plotting about how to defeat the Pharaoh, I couldn't help but marvel at Bakura's steeled resolve.

"It was after you guys got your own bodies," I being putting the pieces together myself, seeing the pain manifest in his pallid features as I do so. "Malik and I became a couple and went to Egypt. Yami was surrounded by friends and became a part of the Mutou's family…" I consider mentioning Bakura and Yami's love-fest in ancient times but quickly dismiss it. I promised Malik. "And you…weren't close to Ryou here…and the Pharaoh had beaten you yet again…"

'Your former lover,' I add to myself wryly. 'That's gotta hurt.'

"Just shut up!" he hisses.

While I have an urge to gloat and mock him, something prevents me. Under different circumstances, this might've been Malik. Taking in the former tomb robber's worn down physical appearance, the heroin, the fact that he tried to commit suicide…

Perhaps I'm allowing this somewhat pitying feeling to come forth because Malik told me that nothing romantic went on between him and the thief in the past. Even so, it still could be true. Malik might just be trying to hide it from me. While I'm doing my best to trust my koi, that doesn't mean my suspicions are laid to rest. My observations of the two of them will be continuing.

"Where's the mutt?"

Bakura tries to mask his emotions; tries to make the question sound indifferent.

He fails.

I smirk, examining my fingernails. "Oh your little boyfriend is asleep on the couch."

He gapes at me in horror. "You…you…"

"Yes, we all know, Bakura. Come on, how could anyone not know after the way Malik came storming downstairs ready to commit murder," I snicker at this memory.

"What?" The dread in his voice is thickening.

"Oh, didn't these two tell you? The Pharaoh and his posse came over to visit. Apparently Ryou called him so we'd have a Millennium Item for the dog." I've never seen anyone's face turn as grey as Bakura's is right now. "Long story short, Malik comes rampaging down the stairs after chatting with you and, in front of everyone, accuses the mutt of raping you…"

"WHAT?!"

Malik tumbles off the edge of the bed onto the floor with a loud thud, limbs flailing in order to right himself. Ryou sits swiftly, successfully banging the back of his head into the wall.

"What the hells?" my boyfriend growls, letting go of the irritation when he spots the thief.

The former tomb robber is on the verge of a mental breakdown. His thin frame is shaking uncontrollably, wide eyes locked on my yami. There are red flames burning in their depths.

Uh oh.

"Bakura, what is it?" Malik reaches to touch the thief's arm only to have the other yami recoil.

"You told them? You told them he raped me? You told the Pharaoh?!" Bakura hisses, voice hitching in his throat.

Malik's face hardens as he sends me a murderous look. I shrink back.

(Hikari.)

((…Oops?))

My koi turns back to the former tomb robber whose eyes are blazing. "Well perhaps if you'd have had your wits about you and not allowed the mutt to sexually dominate you…"

"All right that's enough!" Ryou yells steadfastly.

"Get out, hikari."

There's venom dripping from the thief's voice that stops Ryou dead in his tracks. Crimson-brown eyes are sharp and lethal as he and Malik stare each other down. I move towards the door, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Tremulous, Ryou carefully crawls to the foot of the bed and climbs off, following my lead.

"Oh if only there was a door," I mutter as he and I retreat down the stairs.

(Malik's POV)

"How could you do that? Do you want to make my life worse than it already is? Is it that amusing to humiliate me?" Bakura whispers fiercely after our hikaris have departed.

I roll my eyes. "Enough drama. You didn't need anyone's assistance in ruining your life. Need I remind you that you tried to end it before I even got here?"

He doesn't answer. I sigh heavily, sitting on the bed beside him.

"Look, I'm sorry for letting the Pharaoh and his friends know. But…what the hell were you thinking? The mutt? And if that weren't debasing enough, you let him dominate you! You submitted to that dim-witted freak!"

A cloud of shame is hanging over him now. "I…I don't know how it happened. I just…I'm tired of it. There's no one to talk to. I can't even get revenge on the bastard Pharaoh."

My heart pangs in my chest at the ache in these words. I reach over and gently brush pure white bangs out of his face. He won't look at me, staring at his hands on his lap.

"One lifetime of suffering is bad enough. Why are you repeating it, Bakura? This time you actually have the choice of making it worthwhile but you're not. Why are you doing this? The drugs and suicide attempts? Fucking with an enemy? You know he only did it for spite, don't you? He's just going to gloat to his friends about how he fucked you over."

I know this is hurting him but it needs to be said. His life is spiraling out of control. Cupping his pale face in my tan hands, I force him to look at me.

"I don't want to see you get taken advantage of again. I refuse to sit back and watch it happen." The anger has completely dissipated from his eyes. "You have to believe me. The mutt's trouble. You'll find someone else, someone who deserves you, not a mongrel like him."

Bakura takes a shuddering breath. "I…it just feels like…maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe I'm meant to be alone."

"No," I reply firmly, fingers grasping his cheekbones. "No you're not meant to be alone. Even if not in a romantic nature, you're still not meant to be alone. You have your hikari, who, despite being incredibly obnoxious, genuinely cares about you. And now I'm here."

He pulls away, staring forlornly at the wall. "But…sooner or later…you'll leave again," he whispers.

I draw my friend into a hug, him trembling violently as he buries his face against the base of my throat, desperate for some type of contact, for someone to care. So this has been it all along: He feels worthless. He sees no point.

He's become an outcast again.

Then the mutt came and offered him some 'companionship'. Bakura had sunk so low by that point that he agreed to it without a second thought. But Katsuya won't be getting another chance at that.

"Don't you worry," I murmur in Bakura's ear as he continues to quiver. "I'm not going anywhere."

(Yugi's POV)

"All right then, who wants…dinner?" Yami and I halt as we enter the living room.

Jou has moved to the opposite side of the couch so he can see the stairs. Marik and Ryou are standing side-by-side, their eyes locked on the stairway as well. Ryou's biting his lower lip nervously. Marik's chewing his thumb nail, his other hand at his side, tan fingers twitching.

"It got quieter." Marik nudges the other hikari in the side. "Why did it get quieter?" Ryou shakes his head.

"What's going on?" Yami asks.

"Marik here blabbered to Bakura about Malik's…well…announcement to all of us about my yami and Jou," Ryou states casting a disapproving glare at the Egyptian.

"Hey, sooner or later he was going to find out that everyone knows!"

"Yes, but you didn't have to tell him outright—especially the part about Malik saying Jou raped Bakura," our friend retorts. "A statement, I might add, that wasn't true in the first place."

"You told Bakura that?" Yami asks in shock.

Marik sneers. "And here I thought you'd be pleased."

"Shut up!" Jounouchi shouts. The room falls silent. He buries his face in his hands. "Oh gods, he's got to be so mad…"

"And humiliated," Marik adds helpfully. "What?" he asks at the dirty looks he receives.

"So Marik told Bakura. What's happening now?" I question, wary about the answer.

Ryou sighs. "Bakura told us to get out. I swear he was going to bite Malik's head off."

"Why can't we hear them? There's no door on that room!" Marik rants, beginning to pace. "When Ryou and I left we thought for sure it was gonna be a bloodbath up there."

We all stop when someone comes down the stairs. Malik's suddenly before us. Calm. Composed. Unscathed.

"How…how's Bakura?" Ryou asks softly.

"Well he doesn't have an appetite but I convinced him that he needs to at least try something. Is there any food that will be easy on his stomach?"

Ryou gawks at the yami before stuttering, "I…y-yeah. Let me just…" He hurries from the room.

Yami crosses his arms over his chest. "You know what he was referring to, Malik. The least you could have done…"

Scorn-filled lavender eyes fall on my darker half. "It's not his business. This was a matter between Bakura and myself which has been resolved. End of discussion." He turns menacingly to his own hikari who cowers back. "And you and I are going to be having a very long chat, koi."

Marik manages to nod, shaking. I can't help but feel sorry for him despite what he's done. It seems he and Malik might not have talked about ancient Egypt after all, if Marik's still this intent on causing grief for Bakura. I share a glance with Yami, realizing this situation has gotten even more baffling than before. Great.

(Ryou's POV)

My heart is threatening to burst through my chest as I climb the stairs, tray with soup in my hands. Reaching the top, I cautiously peek in my room to find Bakura propped up by some pillows behind him. He's staring emptily at the window.

"Yami?" I ask gently, coming forward uneasily.

What is this? It feels more like how things used to be: me always tiptoeing around him; Bakura always isolated and bitter. Could it just be my nerves after the way he spoke to me earlier?—the frightening look he'd given Malik? I don't want everything to fall apart again.

"Bakura, I brought some soup."

"I don't want it."

"Malik said to get you to eat something," I persist.

"He not the boss of me."

My darker half's voice is flat, eyes dull. He won't even look at me. Gods, this really is just how it used to be.

"No he's not. And I'm not either. But we want to help. And Jounouchi's worried…"

"Oh is he now?" The malice in these words makes my skin crawl. "I'm sure he's just fretting over not getting to fuck his archenemy again for his sick amusement."

I blink in shock. "Bakura, how could you even think to say that?!"

"Is the Pharaoh here with him?"

"Bakura, please…!"

"Is the Pharaoh here with him, hikari?" he growls, sharp canine teeth bared.

I look down at my feet, unable to hold my gaze with his. "Y-yes yami."

"I see."

I dare look at him again. This time he's staring right back at me, a crimson gleam in those cold eyes. No! No he can't turn back to who he was!

"Bakura…"

"You may inform the mutt that he needn't stay here any longer, as he won't be getting any more 'freebees'."

"You don't think that's how he...!"

"You don't think so?" he seethes, the center of the Millennium ring glowing warningly.

"Y-yami?" I whimper, refusing to leave despite my mounting fear.

"Get out."

If I go back to how I was, then he'll do so as well. But what if I refuse?

"I said get out!"

"And I'm answering: no."

He's panting hard, tapping into the ring's powers depleting his energy. I take a step forward, daring him, daring myself; vaguely wondering if I'm about to get blasted down the stairs by a beam of Shadow magic. Shuddering, Bakura's forced to give up, the ring's glow ceasing. He falls back flaccidly against the pillows, sweat trailing down his face. I hurry forward, grasping one of his wrists.

"Let go!" he rasps too weakened now to fight.

"No. I want you to not just hear me but listen to me, yami," I order, grabbing his shoulder with my other hand, earning a homicidal glare from him. "Bakura, why this sudden animosity towards Jou?" His jaw clenches. "It was Malik, wasn't it?" I whisper, anger building up inside of me. "Malik convinced you that Jounouchi was just using you."

"Well he was."

"Then why has he been so reluctant to talk about it? If he were out to hurt you he'd be bragging to Yami and the others but he hasn't." I squeeze my yami's wrist. "Bakura, one of his best friends won't come near, won't even talk with him now."

"Or so they want me to think," he mutters bitterly.

I exhale, trying to release all the frustration from my being. Bakura's vulnerable right now and he knows it. The most logical thing for him to do is to turn to the only person he considers a true friend for guidance and support. Malik. I think, in the past, those two only had each other. It would be hard to suddenly have all these other people who want to get close to you after having been practically alone for so long. Still, given that it's Malik will only make this all the more complicated. I let go of Bakura's shoulder, moving my hand from his wrist.

"I know you're confused right now," I say softly. "But don't listen to just Malik. And don't listen to only me. You have to trust in yourself a little more."

He chuckles humorlessly in such a way that makes my heart sink. "Did that before."

"…And?"

My yami turns back to the window.

"I'm here three thousand years later, aren't I?" he murmurs faintly, staring at our reflections in the glass contained within the utter blackness of the night.

(Jounouchi's POV)

"Well, it's midnight. I think it's about time we head back to the Gameshop," Yugi announces before releasing a yawn.

I grin. "Yeah. Gramps is probably wondering where you two are."

"I really need to get a new phone," Ryou mumbles absentmindedly.

"Anyway, see you guys later," I laugh, stretching my limbs.

Yami and Yugi share an uncomfortable look. Ryou's sitting on a chair next to the sofa, not looking at anyone. Malik and Marik…well, they left the house for the time being to have that "very long chat".

"Actually Jou, we were thinking perhaps you should come with us," Yugi states too cheerfully.

"What? Why?"

Yami clears his throat. "It's crowded over here, Jou. We just thought it would be easier…"

"Who's 'we'?" I cut in, heart racing.

Ryou glances at the other two. He's the most serious of them. In fact, I'd say he looks downright miserable. I turn from person to person.

"Jou, please go with them for the time being. I think it will be best…for everyone," he says softly.

'For everyone'? What's that supposed to mean? He stares at me with those solemn brown eyes, begging me.

"It's Baku, isn't it?" I question. "He said something about me?"

"He's bewildered right now," Ryou confirms sadly.

"Plus Malik's trying to turn Bakura against the whole idea," Yugi glowers.

"I figured as much," I mutter.

Yami sighs. "All the more reason to give the tomb robber a little extra space."

"Why? Malik's not going to let up!" Yugi suddenly bursts.

"Yugi!" his darker half exclaims, giving him a stern look. The three of them must have decided not to deter from their original decision.

"What? It's not like Malik is going to ease off! Why should Jou? If he leaves now Malik will make sure…"

"Yugi, given the thief's current condition, there's no telling what he might do if he's pushed too far."

"You're all forgetting that I'm here and I'm not interested in letting Malik or anyone else brainwash Bakura," Ryou says irately. "But I am worried about him being pressured too much."

"I won't bug him," I insist, panicking. "Besides, Ry, you're gonna need help staying sane, 'specially with Malik and Marik's constant bickering. I should be able to move on my own soon."

"And Yami and I can come back during the day to help," Yugi puts in eagerly.

Ryou hesitates, not wanting to be left here with the two blonde Egyptians and their hellish antics. Having Yami here non-stop would pose multiple problems. But maybe part-time it will be all right. And in my physical state, carting me back and forth between houses isn't an option.

"Ry, please," I implore him desperately. "It won't push him. It's just…this could be my only chance."

The whole world is at a stand-still, holding its breath. What will I do if Ryou says no? I won't go against his wishes either way. But what Yugi said is true: with me out of the picture, Malik will be able to manipulate the situation much easier. I'll be an absent obstacle easily erased.

"All right," Ryou yields. "We'll give it a shot."

(Malik's POV)

"Why? Why must you always insist on increasing the drama of every situation to the extreme? Do you have no self-control? No, don't bother answering that," I hold up a hand when my hikari tries to protest. "Marik, I thought we'd settled this matter."

My hikari turns away from me, pacing the living room with its flowery-upholstered overstuffed chairs and couch. He moves to the window, peering between the laced curtains to the house next door—Ryou and Bakura's house. Apparently, the neighbors are out of the summer. The front door's lock is busted from when the thief's hikari rushed over here to use the phone.

"This matter isn't settled, not in my mind," my lighter half mumbles. "But that's not why I did it. I was just acting like Bakura and I always did towards each other during Battle City before you were released again. I didn't think he'd go completely psycho!"

I sink down on the couch, bowing my head, Millennium rod clasped in my hands. It does sound like a regular interaction between Marik and Bakura…but my little koi has lost faith in me.

This is a problem.

"Marik, I don't have any proof with which to ease you. I'm sorry for that. If you're so worried…I have a new suggestion. It won't settle your nerves, but I promise you: if you'll help me with this, the sooner we can put this whole mess behind us."

Lilac eyes dart to me; I can feel them. Instead of looking back, I stare fixatedly at the golden item glimmering in the soft lamplight. He'll agree. This will be in his best interest as well as mine. It's a deal that, if played right, will get the mutt out of Bakura's life for good.

(Bakura's POV)

My head hurts. Scratch that. Everything hurts, but mostly my head. I'm alone in hikari's room. Apparently Malik and Marik haven't gotten back from their brawl yet. That's fine with me. I need time by myself. I need to think.

It comes as no surprise that Malik is completely against the mutt being anywhere near me after what happened. Then hikari tells me that Katsuya actually cares me, as the blonde himself professed.

Even if he does have feeling for me, it would never work. He's the type of person to have a quick shag with, to look out for you, help you through a rough patch, annoy you…not have a romantic relationship with. By my own scrutiny, the mutt doesn't qualify as someone who is good with relationships. He lets his drunkard father beat him. Then he hides it from his friends and the rest of his family. He wouldn't be able to commit. He would keep secrets and, in the end, seek to control.

Just like in Egypt.

I'm even less competent when it comes to understanding human bonds than Katsuya. It's to the point of pathetic. Hikari said to trust my own judgments more. I can't. Last time was bad enough. I don't want to repeat history a second time.

I cannot trust myself.

Katsuya won't give up easily. He's never known when to quit. Of course, I never really have either. It was only after I was given my own body that I realized how futile it was: I was never going to get revenge on the Pharaoh. The mutt's slowly awakening. Those cuts on his wrists say he's becoming more in touch with reality. I wonder how long it will take the rest of them to notice.

But what do I want?

That seems to be the big question in the house. I know what Malik wants. I know what hikari wants. I know what the mutt wants. But what about me? What do I want?

Eyes closed, I try to concentrate—try to find the answer to this grating question that wants to be in control of my fate. It seems so simple on the surface yet once I dwell upon it I see just how complicated it really is. I don't know what to do.

Do I care about him? To some degree, yes. But I can bury those feelings. It's not too late. I can cast Katsuya aside and pretend none of it happened…No, I won't ever forget no matter how deep I try to cover those memories. And I'm definitely not going to contemplate on whether love is a factor in any of this on my part.

No. It can't be. I won't let it be.

Will he leave? Will Malik have to force him to get out? I stare at the ceiling, vaguely wondering if it would bother me all that much. It's not like I've seen him for a day or two. This lack of meetings hasn't affected me. Of course, I have to take into account that most of the time I was either unconscious or in too much pain to care about anything.

Well this has gotten me nowhere. Isn't there anything that I can come to a decision on? Idly running my fingers along the flannel sleeves covering my arms, I all at once know what it is I want.

(Yami's POV)

"I'm glad Ryou let Jou stay," Yugi beams as he and I walk home under the light of the streetlamps. "Sure Malik will pose problems, but maybe if Bakura wants to be with Jou then Malik will…"

"It's not a matter of what the thief wants or doesn't want," I murmur, staring at the ground ahead of us. "In all the time I've known Bakura he's never once made a decision rationally, always jumping into a situation without thinking it through first."

My hikari fidgets beside me. "So what you're saying is that…what happened between Jou and Bakura earlier…Do you mean that maybe Bakura really doesn't want to be with Jounouchi?"

I sigh, wishing I could give a solid answer, but there isn't one. "I don't know. But what I do know is that if there's even the slightest chance that Bakura feels for Jou, then Jounouchi has the fight of his life coming up, not only against Malik but the tomb robber too."

"Why is that?" Yugi questions uneasily.

"Because," I exhale heavily, feeling a heavy burden weighing down upon me. Who knew this would awaken old wounds so greatly? "Now that Bakura can look back on what he and Jounouchi did together, he will be trying to find not only our friend's motives but his own emotions and fears as well."

"Fears? What's Bakura have to be afraid of? He's got Malik and Ryou on his side!"

"Of making a mistake," I whisper, disheartened. "Of becoming too attached. And no matter what he decides, it won't be a rash judgment on his part. Bakura's always sought to control a situation…and he usually fails."

I know that all too well…

I can't repress a yawn as Shimon follows me down the large stone hallways lined with torches and statues, lecturing me all the while. It's already late in the evening and I'm thoroughly exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. Is that so much to ask for? For a pharaoh, apparently.

"…should really be more self-assured in your statements, your highness. It does not bode well when the Pharaoh sounds uncertain of himself," my mentor and most closest advisor states sternly.

Our affiliation hasn't changed much in the three months that I've been Pharaoh. While I can overrule what he says, usually I choose to listen. He scolds me just like he used to. No doubt it has much to do with my age. Plus he basically raised me. Old habits die hard. How I wish I have had an older sibling so then I could just live in the palace as perhaps a high priest or something and let someone else deal with the country…

"Your highness, pay attention!"

This is a command more than anything else, yet I don't rebuke the elderly man for it. If not for him, it'd be just me and those damn priests. My uncle and cousin are the most infuriating of them all. They're still intent on finding a way to get more influence in the court. Akunadin is without a doubt trying to turn them against me so Seth can take the throne. Shimon watches my back and helps me with my flaws to ensure this does not happen.

"I'm afraid I'm just too tired," I reply, rubbing my eye with a finger as we stand outside the door to my personal chambers. "Let us continue this conversation in the morning, Shimon. I'll be much more able to focus then."

He gives me a look but bows. This makes him look incredibly short given that at full-height he doesn't even reach my shoulders anymore. It's a weird thing. He'd always seemed so tall to me…

It takes me a moment to realize I've been standing in the now vacant hallway, having not a clue how long it's been since Shimon left. Shaking my head, I enter my bedroom and lock the door behind me. Finally, some peace and quiet. Breathing a sigh of relief, I slip the Millennium Puzzle over my head, placing it in the golden box on the stone table next to my bed.

The translucent cloth drape hanging over the door across the room is beckoning me. The servants probably put in warm water hours ago, not having expected me to have been in assemblies for so long. Not that I had either. And it's too much of a bother to call them back here at this hour.

'A cold bath could be refreshing, but not tonight,' I add, feeling the cool breeze slip between the drawn curtains leading out onto the large balcony.

Instead, I wander into the washing room, opting for dousing my face in a bowl of frigid water that makes little bumps rise up on my skin. Shivering slightly while squeezing out the liquid from my bangs, I wander back into my bedroom only to stop, eyes widening at the sight before me: the golden box is empty.

The Millennium Puzzle is gone!

Just as my heart skips a beat, it calms itself. The main door is still locked which means…My eyes wander over to the wall that seems nothing but that: a normal wall. Steeling my nerves, I push open the hidden door, taking a cautious step into the dark secret passageway.

"All right, that's enough of your games," I state in annoyance, looking from left to right. "Just give it back already."

There's no sound in the tunnels. No whisper of breath or rustle of clothing. I stand in the doorway, unsure of what to do. With each passing second, my nerves become more unsettled. It feels like a lifetime has gone by…either that or time has completely stopped.

"Bakura!" I hiss, fists clenched. "Where are you? Give it back!"

The eerie silence continues. Shaking now, I take a step back and close the door, staring at the 'wall'. A strangled little sound emitting from my throat, I knot my hands into my hair. Oh gods, what if he's already gone? What if he ran off with the Millennium puzzle? And I basically let him! How could I have been so stupid? How…?

"My goodness, who knew the big Pharaoh could be so careless? And then he doesn't even do anything about it. Quite pathetic, if you ask me," an amused voice chuckles.

I whip around to find myself alone in an empty room. Eyes sweeping about, I realize there's one place that I failed to check. Marching over to the curtains, I throw them back to find the phantom himself perched idly on the wide stone banister of the balcony, Millennium puzzle clutched in one of his pale hands.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack just now," I growl, planting my hands on my hips. "What would you have done if I'd called for help?"

Bakura's face holds a smug smirk, muscles lax. "Oh like I'd allow that to happen. Why do you think I said something just then? While it would have been entertaining to watch you go into complete hysterics it would have also been a bit too…risky."

"You think?" I snort, still watching him, wondering what his motives are. "What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night."

"Your night is my day," he points out casting a look up at the full moon far above us. "So I hear I got burned to a fiery crisp in Sobek's temple…and that there was quite a celebration afterwards."

"Well I had to tell them something. Those guards had seen you and all," I reply in exasperation before becoming serious. "Is the wound…?"

The white-haired being raises his eyebrows. "It only hurts when I bend in unnatural positions."

I'm not sure whether to laugh or not. Is he joking out of good fun or mocking me? I really don't know where we stand. He'd slept the day away under my bed after being wounded. I'd left him there with some food and water, figuring I'd get to speak with him again later. But come evening, he was gone. I haven't heard from him since; nearly three months.

It'd hurt me and I don't understand why. Perhaps I had been hoping he could be that someone I'd been wishing for: someone I could kid around with and talk to like your average people. Of course, both of us are a far cry from average.

"Hello? Earth to Pharaoh." I blink at a colorless hand being waved in front of my face.

I stare at him with his layers of black robes; at the wild-white hair mussed from the hood he draws over his head; at those sharp ruby eyes gazing straight into my core…

"Bakura, give me the puzzle," I say quietly, holding out a hand.

He has no desire to be my friend; therefore, I want him to leave. Now that he knows I won't kill him he's just going to keep coming back to amuse himself by toying with me. If he thinks I'm going to put up with that he's got another thing coming.

Those abnormally sharp canine teeth show as he grins. "Why? Am I tarnishing it with my filthy touch?" he asks contemptuously, pale fingers caressing the crevices of the golden item. "This shit's heavy! I'm surprised you can keep your head upright after lugging this around on your neck all day."

"I had bruises for the first month and could barely turn my head," I smile before I can stop myself. Damn it.

"Have you used it?"

"…What?"

Crimson eyes roll in exasperation. "The fucking puzzle. Have you used the Shadow magic?"

While his words are condescending, there's a genuine interest in his features and tone that makes me suspicious.

"Why would you care? I don't need Shadow powers to destroy you," I retort, intent on knowing what he's found so fascinating. "Now give it back to me. If you think I'm going to just stand here and let you annoy me and steal my possessions then you might just tempt me to give you a nice burn or two!"

"What—now I'm guilty for being curious? Nah." He picks the puzzle up by its rope, lazily swinging it back and forth several inches in front of his face. "I've just never seen Shadow magic before."

These words surprise me, and I once again find myself being pulled back into the conversation. "What about your own powers? What type of magic do you use then?"

Bakura gives me a weird look, lowering his arm holding the puzzle. "Have you ever seen me use any magic, Pharaoh?"

I open my mouth but pause, actually dwelling on the encounters I've had with him. First there was the river. He'd pulled me out of it himself and was going to kill me with a dagger. Then there was the temple where he wanted me to try to kill him. When the guards came he'd had out long knives to fight them with.

"I…do they stem from your weapons?" I ask slowly.

This time he's the one that's confused. "What?"

"Your knives and stuff. Do your powers reside in those?"

The phantom gives me a blank look briefly before throwing his head back and laughing. I bristle, not liking it one bit yet am unsure of what to do. I could make a dive for the puzzle but don't know what his reaction will be. Instead, I wait awkwardly, impatiently, for him to recover.

"Where the hells did you come up with a notion like that?" Bakura asks, grinning madly.

"Well…you always…you always use weapons to defend yourself…"

"Precisely. Now, exercise that little brain of yours and tell us both what that means."

"Well, my guards use spears to fight with. I've heard of bandits and others using swords and knives…" My voice trails off as I gape at him. "You don't use your powers then?" The grim look he offers brings me further revelation. "You…you don't have any powers? B-but the scriptures say phantoms…!"

"Your holy scriptures say a bunch of crap," he sneers, staring fixatedly at the puzzle in his hands. "Much of which I really wish were true, mind you."

It's at this moment I recognize just how powerless a phantom really is. He has no magic with which to defend himself, the sun will scald his flesh, and everyone is so terrified of the legends that they're keen on ridding the world of him.

"So…when did you figure out you didn't have magic?" I ask softly.

Bakura glares at the Millennium item, fingers visibly tightening around its edges. "Over an extensive period of time."

I gulp. "Then I'm not the only person that can kill you. Anyone can? I'm just the only one that can't touch you."

He won't look at me, instead smiling humorlessly. "Now you're using your head."

Anger flares within me. "Then why have you come back to me? To tell me to burn you again? I already told you that I won't! If you're so enamored with getting butchered go find someone else! The guards would be more than happy to slay you."

Blood-red eyes rise to meet mine. "I didn't come here with an entreaty for death."

It hits me in one fell swing. My throat tightens, glancing out of the corner of my eye at the puzzle grasped in his hands. Shit. I know he has multiple weapons hidden on his person and he's much more agile than me. Due to the harsh life he's lived he's no doubt fought individuals far stronger than me. And I've never had a person hit me, much less have to brawl them. He's now told me the fact that he has no magic but the problem is: without the puzzle, neither do I.

"This won't fix anything," I murmur, intent on staying calm despite the dangerous curve this situation has taken. "Whether you kill me or not…whether you get out of here with the puzzle…Bakura, there are six other items and those that possess them are greatly trained in Shadow magic. While the puzzle is the strongest, you wouldn't stand a chance against them, inexperienced as you are. And as long as you had it you wouldn't be able to hide from them. The Millennium ring can track all the other items. The priests will hunt you down and they will kill you."

His jaw clenches but he doesn't speak. I can see the inner turmoil boiling within him. I can feel the helplessness and the anger and the fear radiating off him. He has no control over his existence. He has to stay hidden constantly, even at night, forbidden from any human contact.

"You want to be in charge of your life, but this is not the way," I continue steadfastly, knowing I'm speaking the truth. "The puzzle won't give you the freedom which you seek. It will only bring greater turmoil."

The phantom doesn't say anything, head bowed so I can't see his face. White locks fall down, tangling in the night wind. The puzzle hangs limply from its cord by a shaking deathly hand. I don't know which is worse: The fright of him running off with the puzzle or the yearning to assist him somehow, to comfort him.

"Bakura…"

My breath catches as he slips off the banister, standing before me, eyes concealed under uneven bangs. I don't dare call for the guards, even if this wretched creature is intent on murdering me. One wrong move will end in my death. This whole thing is showing how desperate he's become.

"I'm sorry," I whisper solemnly, unable to even imagine what his life must be like. "I'm so sorry."

I jump back when the puzzle smashes as it's hurtled to the floor, pieces scattering across the stone as it breaks apart. With a whip of fabric, the phantom vanishes. Leaving the temporarily broken Millennium Item, I hurry into my bedroom hoping to find him. It's empty. The doors are sealed and the place is quiet. He had to have left through the passageway. What other way is there? Racing over to it, I throw open the door, stumbling into the tunnels to find them already vacant.

"Bakura wait!" my voice echoes down the passages even as I comprehend I'm too late. I stand alone, staring after nothing, knowing there wasn't anything I could have done to help him.

"I'm sorry," I'm repeat softly.

(Jounouchi's POV)

"Nodded off then, have you?" a deep voice asks cynically.

I jolt, awakening from the light slumber I'd fallen into. Malik and Marik are here, the latter slumped down on a nearby chair tiredly. The yami is studying me painstakingly with those piercing violet eyes.

"Yeah. I guess I did. Thanks for the wake up," I grumble scratching the back of my neck. "Where've you two been?"

"Next door. You wouldn't believe how tacky the place is," Marik snorts, cracking his knuckles. "It's all frills and flowers."

"Suits you just perfectly, hikari," Malik chuckles earning a glare from his koi.

"Oh, there you are," Ryou states, returning from cleaning the downstairs bathroom, drying his hands on a small towel. "I was wondering when you'd back."

"Hoping we wouldn't?" Malik sneers, pretending to inspect the two sharp blades of the rod.

"I didn't say or imply such," Ryou answers calmly.

"Whatever you say, whether it be what you think is an entirely different tale, isn't it?" Malik replies smoothly. "If you don't mind, which I frankly don't care if you do or not, I'll be checking on Bakura."

Ryou sighs, tossing the towel on Marik's lap as the blonde yami disappears upstairs.

"Hey! I don't want this filthy thing!" Marik exclaims plucking the cloth from his body and disdainfully tossing it to the floor. "Do you know how much these pants cost?"

"You really are a drama queen, you know that?" the white-haired hikari snickers, sharing a grin with me.

"Excuse me?"

"Where is he?!"

The three of us turn as Malik hurries down the steps, eyes frantic. Marik stands quickly as I sit up. Ryou's brow creases.

"Wha…?"

"Where's Bakura?!" Malik demands heatedly.

"He…isn't in my room?"

This question is given an exasperated glare. "Well if he were then I wouldn't be down here, would I?"

Marik looks at the ceiling in thought. "What about the bathro…?"

"He isn't anywhere upstairs!" his yami snaps as he strides off to the side hallway to check the few rooms there.

"Let's not panic," Ryou states even though it's obvious he already is. "He can't have gone far."

"Depending on how long it's been. He could have easily slipped past the sleeping mutt here and out the door," Marik points out to which it feels like the blood is draining from my face.

"But where would he go?" Ryou shakes his head, at a loss.

"To get more heroin, of course," Malik states furiously as he reappears.

"He…he wouldn't do that!" Ryou objects. "Not after getting this far through the detox already…"

"And you wouldn't believe how many addicts start up again," the blonde yami states dourly. "Where's a place close by that he could get his hands on some?"

"He and I emptied the house of it," I answer. "So it's not here."

Narrowed eyes cut into me. "Don't play dumb with me, Katsuya. I assume you know the ways of the streets pretty well. Do you honestly believe an addict would give up his whole supply? Even if he'd wanted to detox, that doesn't change the fact that he would keep some heroin nearby in case he couldn't handle the detox."

I don't want to accept this reasoning even if it does make perfect sense. "But…we went through the entire house. The bathrooms, the cupboards, Ryou's room, the back yard..."

"What about his room?" Ryou interrupts suddenly.

I give him a blank look. "What room? He has a room?"

Eyes wide, my friend doesn't answer, taking off towards the kitchen, Malik and Marik in pursuit. I can only watch them go helplessly, realizing I put too much faith in the thief. I let my feelings for him impair my own logic. Gods, how could I have been so blind?

…and what will the cost of it be?

(Bakura's POV)

I sit on the dusty mattress alone in the dark of my room. Everything's covered in dust. It's been nearly a month since I've been down here. Things always seem to get dirtier in the basement faster. Or perhaps that's because I won't let hikari touch anything.

They all tried to help me, but reality is setting back in and I need to look at this whole muddle for what it is. The answers scare me. I don't want to face them; don't have to face them.

This epiphany brings a morbid smile to my chapped lips. It hurts to even grin or frown a little. The flesh is so raw and tight and dry. But I don't mind the pain. Pain is something I've always been able to identify with. Being nauseous, puking and dry heaving, sweating constantly…The detox has taken its toll on me and I know now that I'm not strong enough. I can't go on like this.

Malik said he's not leaving but he knows that's a lie. We both do. He can't stay here forever. I don't want to be a burden to him. And Marik won't stand for any of it. Not that I blame the kid one bit. Malik's not my nursemaid, nor is hikari. They shouldn't need to be. I don't want them to be. So if I just give it up with the detox then things can go back to how they were. I'll have an easier time burying all these emotions and memories that have resurfaced.

Things I've never wanted to feel or think of ever again.

I don't know what the mutt will do. For some reason, there's a feeling of guilt when I think of him. At some point he'll realize that this is a battle he was doomed to lose from the start. I'm a lost cause.

With this thought, I roll up my sleeve, an elastic band already secured around my upper arm. Staring fixatedly at the needle in my hands, I comprehend just how much how much I hate it …and how much I've missed this.

Just as the needle grazes the tender skin of my arm, I find myself being hurtled violently against the wall behind me by a bolt of Shadow magic. Gasping, I sit up to find Malik and hikari in the doorway, the Millennium rod glowing brightly. Surprisingly, despite the attack, the heroin is still in my hand.

"Bakura," Malik states, voice low and warning. "Put the needle down. Now."

I sneer at him, clutching the syringe against my chest protectively while scooting to the far side of the mattress; away from them. The next thing I know I'm being catapulted into another wall, the side of my head smacking against it. Pain shoots through my skull, rendering any attempts at moving useless for several seconds. This time I find my fingers empty, the syringe laying two mere feet from my body that's sprawled on the cold cement floor. Malik catches the look in my eye, both of us diving for it.

"Stop it!" hikari's voice shouts desperately as Malik grabs me by the throat, hurtling me backwards against the wall and away from the skag; holding me in his iron grip.

"Ssss…!" I choke, unable to get any words to form, head spinning, anger mounting. I tear frantically at his arms with my fingernails but he ignores this even as the skin breaks.

Violet eyes bore into mine. "You have no one to blame but yourself now."

He lifts the rod and deftly swipes one of its blades across my neck. I gaze at him in mute shock as hikari screams, waiting for the blood, waiting for the pain. It doesn't come. Ice-cold dread sinks in when I feel physical weakness setting in, realizing what he's done: Malik didn't slice my throat. He cut the cord.

He has the ring.

(Marik's POV)

Malik and I rush after Ryou as the white-haired teen as well all but skid across the tile floor of the kitchen. I actually come to a halt when I ram into my koi's back who has nearly toppled over as Ryou flings a white door across from the sink open. This reveals a dark staircase leading downward. Without hesitation Ryou and Malik dash down the stairs leaving me in a bit of a daze as I stagger after them, having hit my head square against my yami's shoulder blade.

I reach the bottom step in time to hear shouting followed by several loud thuds of something or someone being thrown into a wall. Hurrying through the gloomy shadows, I find a small open door that I would have mistaken for a storage closet—which is what it probably is supposed to be.

Entering the doorway, I watch in horror as Malik lifts the Millennium rod and slashes Bakura across the throat. Ryou's beside me, screaming hysterically. I can only stand here, witnessing as the tomb robber's legs begin to shake, his body giving. No way!

Did…did Malik actually…?

"Marik."

I blink, releasing a breath of relief as Malik turns; Ryou and I finding Bakura's head still attached to his shoulders. Still grasping the thief firmly with one hand, Malik stretches out his arm to me, the Millennium ring, its rope severed, in his tan fingers.

"Hold this."

I hastily take it, glancing over at Ryou who is completely silent now, trembling terribly. I take this opportunity to look around the room. The place has bags and boxes filled with what is without a doubt heroin.

"Holy shit," I mutter.

Malik grips Bakura's arm, intent on dragging the thief out of here, but that does it. The other yami shrieks, pulling and thrashing in a fraught attempt to break free.

"Let go! Give it back! Give it back!" he screams, eyes wild, using his free hand to punch Malik in the gut repeatedly. "Let go!"

Grunting, my yami tires of this and unceremoniously hoists the manic thief over his broad shoulder. Thanks to the heroin usage, head injury, and detox, Bakura's body is feeble. Malik, on the other hand, has a body of pure sculpted muscle. Not that any of these factors register in the tomb robber's mind. Bakura shrieks and howls all the more, pounding his fists onto my yami's back who heads for the door without further ado.

"I want it! I want it!" the white-haired yami screams in a child-like voice…a child ready to commit murder, that is.

"Marik, help Ryou clean all of the shit out of here!" Malik calls, these words further intensifying the wails and yowls of rage and misery as he carries the thief upstairs.

(Jounouchi's POV)

I've never heard anything like it. It doesn't even sound human. These screeches and high-pitched keening are like that of some rabid, crazed beast. What the hell is going on? Where are they? It hasn't even been three minutes and already…

I gawk when Malik strides into the room, Baku heaved over his shoulder, kicking, clawing; animalistic wails and cries erupting from the thief. Malik's face is tense but relatively calm regardless of the fact that his body is no doubt sporting plenty of bruises by now. Ryou and Marik haven't come back.

As I open my mouth to ask, Malik throws Baku onto the floor next to the couch. The thief looks up, dazed slightly at this sudden movement. Ra, his eyes are clouded over in fury. Did they reach him before he shot himself up with heroin?

"I don't…want to…anymore…" Baku growls between shuddering gasps.

"Well I'm afraid that's not your choice," Malik replies, eyes dark as he crouches over the thin frame. "We're not letting you get back on that shit."

"It's not…your life!" the white-haired thief hisses, eyes ablaze, Malik's large hand on his chest preventing him from rising. White fingers curl around a tan wrist covered in bloodied nail marks, fraught with escaping. Malik doesn't relent.

"I'd give you the chance, but I know you would lie to me just like you have to everyone else," he states quietly, suddenly holding the Millennium rod over Baku.

Bakura's face becomes panic-stricken as he stares up at the item, a whimper rising in his throat. "Malik, p-please! Not that! Please not that!"

My heart's beating abnormally fast as I watch on. I don't know what Malik's planning. Baku isn't wearing the ring, which makes him susceptible to the rod's powers. But what good will that do?

A flicker of regret appears in Malik's eyes before he steels his resolve. "I didn't want it to come to this either, Bakura."

Before the thief can further his entreaty the rod begins glowing. Baku's fingers slip from Malik's arm, falling limply onto his own chest. I wince, recognizing and remembering the power of this item all too clearly. Looking down, I already know what I'm going to find.

Baku's lying on his back, gorgeous eyes glazed and lifeless. The Millennium symbol, an eye, is shining on his bruised forehead. Malik's gazing down at the thief morosely, obviously wishing he didn't have to do this.

"Mutt, help me keep track of what he says. For all we know, there might be a lot."

I dare not look away from the motionless thief. "W-what?"

"He had a huge stash down in the basement. Ryou and Marik are cleaning it out as we speak," Malik explains somberly, staring down into those blank eyes.

I gulp, following now. "I understand."

"All right then." The blonde Egyptian nods. "Bakura?"

"Yes?"

The voice is empty. It makes my skin crawl. Glancing at Malik, I can see how much it's bothering him as well, but he's strong and presses onward. After all, he's doing this for Baku's sake.

"Where are the rest of your drugs?"

(Ryou's POV)

"Gods, I can't believe this," I murmur glancing around the dank room helplessly. There's even more drugs down here than last time.

"Yeah," Marik agrees in awe. "There's got to be thousands of dollars worth of heroin here!"

"Don't even think it," I growl while putting several small plastic bags of powdered heroin into a large black garbage bag. Marik's working with the boxes and syringes.

The blonde Egyptian scowls. "Oh come on, I was just stating the facts. No need to get all hostile." Violet eyes scan the small room. "So…Bakura lives in this mole hole?"

I sigh, lugging the bag to the center of the room. "He didn't want to be on the main floor or the second story even when I told him my dad's never home. I don't know his reasons, so all I've been able to do is try my best to make him comfortable and happy…" I clench my fists, spinning around and taking a step towards Marik who's watching me guardedly. "I've tried! I did everything remotely possible! He controlled me through the ring. When he got his own body I allowed him to stay here and what happened?—He beat me, broke bones and turned me black and blue!" I yell, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Months! Months, Marik! That's how long I put up with that treatment. Then finally—finally, he stopped. Not long after I came down here one day and found this!" I motion around the cramped room.

"Oh cry me a river," Malik sneers disdainfully. "According to what you've just said: You could have gotten out of this at any time but you didn't." I look away. "Ryou, I don't want to know why and I'm definitely not one to defend Bakura, but you can't thrust the blame on anyone but yourself in this case."

My face is burning with humiliation as I stand next to the pile of heroin that is increasing dramatically in size as Marik adds to it. He doesn't make any snide remarks, continuing to work in silence. He said what needed to be said.

Why have I lived with the hell my yami has put me through? At the beginning I didn't even care about him. I think I told him he could stay simply because I didn't want to be alone. Despite us having separate bodies, our spirits are still fused. It'd been a long time since I'd felt that connected to anyone; so I let him remain in my house, regardless of what he'd done.

"I…I understand to some extent," I admit softly, looking at Marik who's finished our task, standing beside me.

"That's nice," he mutters distractedly.

The Millennium ring in his hands illuminates, the entire collection of heroin engulfing in purple flames; his Shadow aura, I'm guessing. There's a brilliant flash and then two of us are left in the dismal closet my yami calls his room. Marik tosses the ring back and forth between his hands casually, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Well, that's that."

"What did you do?" I ask in confusion, gazing at the empty space on the floor. "Where did all of the drugs go?"

I catch the mischievous gleam in the Egyptian's eyes. "What? You wanted to keep it? Perhaps deal it? Tsk tsk. And here I thought you had higher morals."

He gets a good glare from me for that. "Marik."

"Fine fine," he snickers, waving a hand jokily. "I sent the entire heap to the Realm. What'll happen to it when it gets there, I haven't the foggiest. Figured we can't physically destroy the stuff here and where the heck would we take it?" He heads for the door, shoulders shaking. "Can you imagine it? The Shadow Realm on skag!" he cackles, exiting.

"Marik!" I call, hurrying after him into the main portion of the basement with its pipes and plumbing. Light is entering from the kitchen above, cascading down upon the Egyptian whose blonde hair is shimmering as is the golden item in his possession.

"Hn?"

I lace my fingers together, looking down at my feet. "I…what should I do now?"

He rotates slowly, hand on the rough wooden banister. "Huh?"

"What should I do now…about my yami?" I question nervously.

The other hikari huffs. "Why are you asking me? I'm not you're fucking counselor. Though I will say: if Malik had treated me like the shit stuck to the bottom of his shoe we would have gone our separate ways a looong time ago."

"Well I didn't." He moves to go upstairs. "Marik please!"

The Egyptian pauses, studying me scrupulously. Why am I asking Marik of all people? Why not Yugi, who also has a darker half and possesses more logic than the other hikari before me? Probably I've chosen the blonde Egyptian because of how egocentric he is. In this particular situation, it might in fact be a positive trait to have. He always looks out for himself; something I've never done, always putting myself second to Bakura.

"You want my honest opinion?" Marik finally asks seriously.

I hesitate before nodding, hoping he can't see me trembling. "Yes."

(Jounouchi's POV)

"What's the damage report?" Marik asks interestedly, he and Ryou returning from the basement where, apparently, Baku has a room.

I exhale shakily, sitting on the couch. "He used the rod on Baku." Ryou's eyes widen and I shake my head sadly. "You can't imagine…there's so much heroin left he hadn't told me about."

"Big surprise," Marik yawns, stretching his arms above his head, revealing even more of his taut stomach than was already exposed.

"Where are they now?" Ryou asks jadedly.

"Baku was unconscious when Malik relinquished control," I explain, noting Ry's disheartened expression. "He's sleeping in your room. Malik's using the Millennium rod and destroying all of the remaining stashes."

"Tell him to send them to the Shadow Realm," the blonde hikari urges with an enthusiastic grin.

"I might go sit with my yami," my friend says resignedly, turning and ascending the stairs without another word.

Marik lets out a long whistle, sinking down on the sofa beside me. "Holy crap, I've never seen anybody go completely ballistic like that, have you?"

"It's not funny," I reply between gritted teeth.

The Egyptian cocks his head to the side. "Did I say it was? You know, Katsuya, I don't see what you find so appealing about him. He's a complete ass not to mention all his problems. Face it, there's no future for you and that creep besides everlasting animosity."

"You're wrong," I whisper even as the Millennium necklace weighs down on my collarbone, forcing me to recall the vision all too clearly.

"Am I?" Violet eyes look straight into mine. "Has he ever said he cares about you? That he loves you? Hell, has he even said he doesn't hate you?"

I break eye contact. I mean, sure Baku and I have done many things physically that could imply affectionateness but that could most likely be said of any sexual experience. And since I'm not very familiar with sex, it's hard for me to judge if emotions were a factor or if it was just for the pleasure.

"I need to talk with him," I say before realizing I said it out loud.

"No shit," Marik mumbles, eyes closing as he leans his head back. "Gods, I'm beat. When you do talk to Bakura, tell him not to go on these heroin escapades at three in the morning."

I nod absentmindedly, not really listening to the other blonde anymore. I've told Baku repeatedly that I care about him—that I love him, yet he's never once said it to me. Does it need to be said in order for it to be true? Yet how will I know it's true unless I hear it from his own mouth? My heart tightens in my chest.

I have to find out the truth…and I'm terrified of it.

(Ryou's POV)

Bakura won't speak to us. The most we can get out of him is a death-glare. Malik and I decided things needed to change significantly around here. That included Bakura's room. I took all of the covers off of the furniture in my father's room with its queen-sized bed. We moved my yami's clothes into the empty drawers of the tall oak dresser across the room from the bed. There's a small square table on one side of the bed and a large window on the other. The curtains are drawn, as the sunlight only seemed to irritate Bakura even more.

"Yami, just talk to us," I say, but I do not plead. Not anymore.

Jaw set, he glares up at the ceiling, fingers curling around the quilt covering his legs and lower torso. Malik is standing beside me, Millennium rod in hand. He returned the ring to my yami, given the scuffle in the basement banged up Bakura a bit. He hit his head hard against the wall when the other ancient Egyptian was fighting to restrain him.

"This is your room from now on, all right?" I continue tiredly. None of us have gotten any sleep yet and it has to be seven. "We brought all of your things up here. The bathroom's right across the hall and my room is right next door…"

"I know the layout of the fucking house," he snaps, eyes flashing.

"Drop the attitude," Malik orders, patience having been declining rapidly.

"If you leave you won't have to listen to it," Bakura retorts sharply.

Before this can turn into a full-fledged fight, I cut in. "Malik, could I speak with my yami for a moment privately?"

"Be my guest," the blonde growls, turning on his heel and storming out, shutting the door not so quietly behind him.

I clear my throat, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Bakura, there's something we need to talk about." No response. "Fine, I'll do the talking then."

Marik told me to say this, yet I'm finding I don't want to. The Egyptian hikari does have a point though. I can't deny that.

"Bakura, things can't go on like this. I've offered you shelter and you thrashed me. That's stopped. I've done everything I can to make you happy but you're not. Now you're an addict and…It can't be this way anymore.

Crimson-brown eyes dart to mine, inquiring despite the resentment present. I take in his deteriorated appearance, worried what will happen if this doesn't work. Will I go back on my word? Let's hope I won't have to find out.

"If you start up heroin again…" I take a deep breath. "…then I want you out. Out of my house, out of my life. All of it."

He's gaping at me, never having expected to hear something like this. I'm his hikari. I'm supposed to care about him. I always have. This doesn't mean I don't care about him. But, like I said, it's time for some drastic changes. This is for his own good. I reach forward and squeeze his shoulder to which he doesn't try to pull away, just gazing at me with shocked eyes.

"Just think about it," I say softly, standing up and walking away, never looking back even as I close the door behind me.

(Mai's POV)

I strut down the sidewalk lit up by lampposts like a runway. Cars honk as they pass by, drivers whistling their approval. I don't so much as bat an eyelash in response. They don't even deserve that. This section of Domino comes alive at night, though its appetite has changed. It hungers for beauty and peril, pain and thrill. I pass by the cafes and classy clothing stores with their tempting merchandise. None if it interests me at the moment.

Jounouchi.

Where has my puppy gone? Adrenaline has been pumping through my veins like poison, driving me frenziedly, controlling my ever thought. So far my search has turned up nothing. Yami and the others haven't seen him. Surely he would have contacted them upon their return, but he hasn't.

I'm ninety-five percent certain there's another woman. He's found some skank and is trying to keep her a secret from me. Well, he's about to find out how vain an effort that is. No one takes what's mine. I laid claim to Jounouchi long before this new bitch came into his life. I don't need her name to know that fact. He used to be completely infatuated with me. Now he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me—something that is unacceptable.

Stopping on the sidewalk, I find myself looking into the window of some dingy fast-food joint. There, sitting all alone at a booth is Honda Hiroto. The brunette isn't even touching his food, swirling the surface of his red slushy drink with a fingertip. Brown eyes downcast, he's completely unaware of the world around him. I suppose he could just be depressed at not having located his best friend but…there's anger burning in those eyes.

As much as I don't wish to enter the grungy place, I do; heading directly over to the booth and standing before him. He looks up, startled at my presence.

"Out by yourself?" I ask in a silken voice, holding back biting comments. I want answers and if I have to be polite to get them, so be it.

"What does it look like?" he growls, turning his attention back to his melting drink.

I roll my eyes, scrunching my nose up in disgust as I force myself to sit down across the way from him. This place reeks of grease. There are stains on the fabric of the cushions and crumbs littering the tile floor. Being from a less than prosperous home, it's no surprise Hiroto isn't fazed by such an atmosphere.

"Any news of Jou?" I ask, trying to keep my back from touching the cushion, imagining with a shudder what kind of people have sat here. "Did you find him?"

A cold smirk appears on Honda's face. It's something I'd never thought I would witness from him. The brunette is always clowning around with Jounouchi and making unintelligent comments. This though—he's fuming mad. The rage is unmistakable.

"Oh we found him all right," he sneers coldly, finger continuing to stir his drink. "Too bad you weren't there. You would have really gotten a kick out of it."

I clench my fingers around my purple purse. "What do you mean? Where is he? Why hasn't he been contacting me?"

Russet eyes meet mine at this, piercing me. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?" I remain silent. "Take my advice Mai: go find a new boyfriend." He puts the straw to his mouth, sucking in the revolting liquid.

"So I was right," I mutter heatedly. "There is another woman."

Honda chokes on the drink, coughing while managing to laugh at the same time. My reservations are only fed by this severe change in him. Why is he acting this way?

"What's so funny?" I ask irritably though inside I'm fearful. "Is there something I've missed?"

Honda snorts scornfully. "Oh I'm afraid we all missed something. The bastard had us completely fooled, especially considering even you didn't pick up on it during your week together." He sets his drink aside. "There is no other woman."

I narrow my eyes, leaning forward despite dried ketchup and an unknown sticky substance on the table. "No other woman? Then what is it?"

"Oh no, not another woman." Honda smirks grimly, utter revulsion twisted into his features. "Another guy."

-grins- Isn't this fun?

readers: GLARE

-sweatdrop- Sooo...I took a tally from your reviews. This is just for those who mentioned the "announcement" by Malik that Yami and Bakura were a couple in ancient Egypt. Basically, it's based on who thinks which relationship was/is real. The score right now is this:

Malik/Bakura: 2

Yami/Bakura: 8

Very unsure: 1

-claps hands together- I'm interested to see how this goes and who will be turned which way! Can't you feel the excitement mounting?! XD

readers: -.-;

...That's what I thought. -grins- Next chapter there WILL be the return of Jou/Baku interaction (nothing sexual). Damn, how many chapters has it been?! Time for them to figure this "relationship" out. Well, mostly on Baku's part really. Jou already knows what he wants.

Jou: Wouldn't you?

-drool- Hell yeah! Baku ass! XD

Bakura: I hate you all sooo much.

All right: I've done 9 1/2 pages for BTBT, 3 pages for Crimson, and zero for BTS (Which will only be 2 or 3 more chapters! O.O) As for this fic, I was actually planning on having a lot of what's about to happen next chapter happen in this one, but the chapter was getting so damn long and I knew it would've taken me forever to fit it all in. So I'm planning on working on the next chapter for this one pretty quickly.

Reviewsies!