It was rather late in the evening when Sirius finally walked into the common room, pale and dripping with snow. He had been outside in the cold ever since he had spoken to his brother. He had walked through the snow and the dark, running his mind over what Regulus had said to him. Sirius had stayed out in the grounds until his fingers went numb and his eyes started watering from the icy weather.

Back in the common room, he took off his cloak and headed for the dormitory, too busy thinking to stop and talk to his friends, who were finishing their homework by the fire. He tramped up the stair case and opened his dormitory door. Sirius went inside and sat down on his bed, still turning things over in his mind.

"Sirius?" a familiar voice called from the doorway, and Sirius looked up to see James standing there, "You alright?"

"Not really", said Sirius, unmoving.

"Well, telling me what's wrong is probably going to help, mate. So come on, out with it", James seated himself opposite Sirius.

"I talked to Regulus. He said a lot of things to me, that I guess were true, but I didn't really need to hear them, you know?" Sirius told James, who was watching him from behind his glasses with concern, "I think what he was saying, in the end, was goodbye."

"You mean forever or what?" James asked, looking up to face Sirius.

"I- yeah, yeah I guess forever", Sirius sighed, saying it seemed to make it final, a fact set in stone.

"Oh. I'm sorry he said that", James looked at Sirius, worried yet unsure how to comfort his friend.

"What's wrong?" asked Remus, he and Peter appearing at the doorway.

"My brother", Sirius answered in a gruff tone.

"Okay..." Peter said as he and Remus seated themselves opposite on James's bed.

"He doesn't want to really talk to Sirius anymore, I think" said James, still appearing uncertain.

"He doesn't want to be brothers, more like" Sirius stated blankly.

He was starting to feel extremely let down, deflated by the fact that his brother had abandoned him. He had tried so hard to help Regulus away from a life of cruelty and death, and not only had he failed, but he had discovered that it had been what his brother had wanted from the start.

He remembered back to when he was a child, playing with and caring for Regulus. He would teach Regulus different things each day, and would delight in seeing his brother's eyes, so much like his own, light up with interest at his many wonderful discoveries. Sirius had wished ever since they had started to grow apart all those years ago, that they could become that close again.

Now his brother had severed all ties with him, Sirius had no reason to stay with his family. He almost couldn't bear the thought of leaving Regulus. They had had a quiet sort of brotherly friendship, strained at times, but Sirius would miss him all the same. The boy had been his only friend as a young child, standing by him when his parents started to realise their eldest son might not have been all they could have hoped for.

"Are you sure?" asked Remus in a quiet voice.

"I know Regulus, and I know what he meant", Sirius spoke as he lay across his bed cover.

"And I know you", James began loudly, "And I know that you're going to be a complete drama queen about this. You're going to brood about it all day, and you're going stay up thinking about it. You won't talk to us about anything. You'll be miserable. And you have every right to be that way, he is, or was rather, your brother after all. But I like to think we're your brothers too.

"You've had a rough day, so all us other sods who are unfortunate enough to be like siblings to you, are going to take you down to the kitchens. There's lots of food there, and you practically drown your troubles in chocolate, my friend, so let's go."

There was no arguing with James as he set about pulling his invisibility cloak from his trunk and searching for the map. Sirius wasn't really bothered whether or not if he went to the kitchens, but his friends were trying to make him feel better, so he went along with it.

"It does work, you know", said Remus to Sirius as they exited their common room with James and Peter.

It was just before their nine o'clock curfew, so the Fat Lady really couldn't get upset at them, but there was no doubt she would be irritated when they came back in the middle of the night.

"What?" Sirius asked him as they began to follow James down the stairway.

"Chocolate. Or at least it makes you feel better", Remus explained.

"Thanks for the advice, Moony", Sirius smiled at his friend as they continued on their way to the kitchens.

They finally arrived at the entrance to the kitchens; a large still life painting of a bowl of fruit. James stepped forward immediately, knowing quite well what he had to do. Tickling the oil painted pear at the front of the portrait, James unlocked the vault of delicious food that was the Hogwarts kitchen. The pear gave a giggle and began to squirm within its frame, slowly but surely emerging from the canvas and transforming into a curved green door handle. James turned the handle and opened the portrait back like a door, revealing the high ceiling and clean surfaces of the kitchen.

Sirius and his friends barely managed to enter the enormous room before they were swamped by tiny bodies. The House Elves gathered around the four boys, calling out greetings in their squeaky voices.

"Hello, young masters", one House Elf stepped forwards from the swarm.

He was rather young compared to the other House Elves working in the kitchen, or at least Sirius thought it looked that way, though he did not know what distinguished young House Elves from old ones. This House Elf in particular was rather spritely in appearance, with bright green eyes and long ears the stuck out straight on either side of his head. His nose was quite small for a House Elf, it was a button nose that turned up slightly at the end.

"Hey Dimple" said James, bending down to greet the House Elf.

"What can Dimple get for young masters this evening?" Dimple the House Elf inquired.

"Four Butterbeers, a pile of your finest eclairs, and a giant chocolate milkshake for this one, please", James told the little Elf, slapping Sirius on the back as an indication of who the milkshake was for.

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter seated themselves at one of the extensively long kitchen benches where an array of shining copper pots and pans hung overhead. They watched the House Elves bustle about making their food. It never ceased to amaze Sirius how eager to serve House Elves were. If treated with kindness, the Elves would happily do whatever chore or errand was asked of them. Even Kreacher back at Sirius's home had an endless will to serve his master and mistress, despite the fact that he loathed to work a job for Sirius.

It was quite soon that a small troop of House Elves delivered the food and drink to the four boys at their bench. Peter handed out the butterbeers and placed the eclairs in the middle of the bench, then sliding the tall milkshake down the polished surface to Sirius- but not before he poured a frothy butterbeer into it, causing the milk to bubble.

Taking a cautious sip of the apparently delicious chocolate beverage, Sirius watched James proceed to wolf down five eclairs, finishing off his butterbeer with a few quick gulps. Licking his fingers and handing the empty bottle to a nearby House Elf, James ambled towards the back of the kitchen. He bent down behind a bench, and assuming that James was asking a House Elf for another item of food, Sirius turned his eyes to the pile of eclairs.

He look up again until he heard the clattering of pots and pans. Thinking it was a House Elf washing up something, he searched the vast room for the source of the noise. Sirius's eyes came to rest upon the image of James moving about at the furthest bench, surrounded by a cloud of flour.

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing, Prongs?" Sirius called out, bewildered, to his best friend.

"Nothing of your concern!" James cried back across the kitchen, "Just stay there and keep stuffing your face. Follow Wormtail's example."

"Mmph!" Peter managed to retaliate through a mouthful of eclairs.

"Well I'm done eating, so do you mind if I have a look?" Remus questioned as he passed his empty Butterbeer gently to a House-Elf close by.

"I suppose so..." James replied, throwing a spoon of jam into his bowl, "Just don't betray me and tell Sirius."

"Don't worry James, I'm not working as a spy for Padfoot or anything", Remus smiled before starting to cross the kitchen to where James was working.

"Moony! You agreed to be my spy for all friendship related suspicious situations!" Sirius cried, "To think that you didn't even give notice of your resignation!"

"I did not, Sirius", Remus called back as he reached the bench where James was preparing the mystery food, "And besides, what is Peter good for if he can't be your spy."

"I can you know", said Peter hopefully, "I demand lower pay rates..."

"Peter, I didn't even pay Moony", sighed Sirius, "And he just quit before the first opportunity to spy for me arrived."

"For the last time, I didn't even agree to become your 'spy', Padfoot!" Remus replied, "You know, sometimes I- James, don't put that in there, that's not how you bake."

Sirius ignored the rest of what Remus was saying to James and turned back to his eclairs. He and Peter chatted for at least fifteen minutes, both trying to work out what exactly it was that James was attempting to cook at the far away bench.

"Maybe it's a soufflé?" suggested Sirius.

"That's a French pastry thing, right?" Peter asked him.

"I believe it is..." Sirius replied, peering over at James, who was trying to fry something in a pan, and Remus, who was watching intently and making comments here and there.

"To advanced then, for James" Peter concluded, bringing Sirius's attention back to the conversation at hand, "He can't cook to save his life. Remember that time he tried to make us scrambled eggs at his place?"

"I'd rather not remember that, Wormtail", Sirius muttered, "My jumper is singed and still has a smell that haunts my deepest, darkest dreams."

"I can hear you two!" James cried from across the room, making House Elves look up from their various duties, "But this will make up for it, I swear! As soon as it's cooked, that is-"

As James announced this, a burst of fire erupted into the air before him, send him tumbling over the bench top behind him, and making Remus jump back in surprise.

"Whatever it is, I'm definitely not eating it now!" Sirius denounced, "I'll die of poisoning for sure!"

"Just hang on- nearly done- just have to put this fire out-"

"James, your tea-towel's on fire"

"Ah! Yes- there we go- just add this here... and done!"

James proceeded to lift the burnt piece of mystery food above his head on a platter. He swept across the room, maneuvering around many scurrying House-Elves who were rushing to clean up the mess he had evidently made behind at his bench.

"Here we go" James said, placing a charred lump in front of Sirius on the table top, "One cake for you."

"It looks awful" assessed Sirius.

What sat before him resembled more of a burnt badger rather than a cake. The sponge itself was blackened on one side, obviously from the flames that James had conjured up in an attempt to cook it. It was slightly drooping to the other side though, because that side was relatively uncooked and still slightly runny. The cake was iced on top with lumpy white icing, as well as some wonky pink writing that contained the message Sorry Your Brother's a Sod.

"Mum's birthday's coming up soon, and I need practice", James said simply.

Sirius looked back at the cake with apprehension, even if it hadn't been abhorrently burnt, he still wasn't even sure if James had added edible ingredients.

"Well" James said impatiently, "Eat some."

"Nope, no. No" Sirius pushed himself back in his chair, "You know I love many different foods, but I draw the line at this mound of dragon dung that you wish to feed me."

"After all the hard work I put into making this cake-"

"If you can call it a cake."

"-you think you can just say no?" James retorted, "I will immobilise you and force feed some to you. Just one bite."

"You sound like my mother when I wouldn't eat Kreacher's cabbage soup. That was when I was about five", Sirius look at Remus for help, who simply shook his head, "Fine, give me that spoon Wormtail. I'll eat it, James, one bite."

Sirius took the spoon from Peter's hand and took a scoop from the less charred side of the cake.

"Moony, I want to make sure you have a eulogy ready for when I die, because I fear this may be the end", Sirius sighed as he lifted the spoon closer to his mouth.

"Just get on with it", James huffed.

Sirius put the spoon in his mouth, taking a bite of the cake. The taste immediately made him splutter. It was utterly disgusting, it did not taste like cake at all. It made his mouth go dry and he felt like gagging as he tried to swallow it down. When Sirius finally managed to get the lump of cake down his throat, he reached for his milkshake and downed the left over half in one go. Coughing, he sat up and looked at James as if to say 'I told you it was bad'.

"Blimey", James exclaimed, "I didn't think it was thatbad. What was wrong with it?"

Sirius managed to stop choking long enough to say, "You used salt you idiot."

Peter and Remus erupted into laughter. James stood silent, rendered speechless by his mistake.

"I knew it!" Remus chortled, "You just can't cook."

"Well this an improvement on that last accident with the scrambled eggs", Peter gasped.

Sirius was grinning up to his eyes, which were still watering from his near choking accident merely moments before. He stood up from his chair, and started to make for the doorway.

"We should get going, I don't fancy sticking around, that cake might go off and explode as any minute," he laughed.

"Wait", James called after his friends as they began to leave.

"Oh no, if you want any more of that cake eaten, you'll have to do it yourself", Sirius looked back at his friend apologetically.

"No, I know no-one in their right mind would eat this cake", James conceded, "But that doesn't mean there aren't other uses for it..."

"Like what, poison?" asked Sirius, still chuckling at James.

"No", James picked up the cake, "I have another idea. Moony, do you have the list of Slytherin common room passwords on you at the moment?"

"James", Remus began exasperatedly, "Do you honestly think that I have an up to date list of every house's common room passwords? Because there was that one time for Hufflepuff, but that didn't work anyway, the door just dumped syrup all over us because we weren't in the right house."

"I am certain that you do Remus", James said confidently, "It's a blatant lie when you say you're off to the library every Thursday afternoon, because I've seen you, and you go and sit outside each common room from the other houses and make note of when the passwords change and what it is, depending on what students say to get in. Except Ravenclaw, because they have those riddles that just waste their time, but you know... My point is that you take these notes in case one of us comes up with a brilliant plan to infiltrate one of the other common rooms for a brilliant prank, because you love us and we have corrupted your bookish ways. I happen to have an idea that involves breaking into the Slytherin common room, so give up the list, it's Thursday, you still have it."

Remus looked taken aback by James's wild yet apparently accurate accusations, "Here, take it, it's up to date."

With the list relinquished from Remus, James led the way out of the kitchens. He stopped only to say goodbye to the many House-Elves that had crowded the doorway, eager to say farewell to the boys.

"Goodbye masters!" called Dimple from the midst of many tiny, waving hands.

"See you!" called James.

"Stay cool, Dimple", Sirius said as he followed his bespectacled friend.

When Peter and Remus had said goodbye to the excited House-Elves, Remus shut the door behind them. The pear in the still-life portrait turned back to its original two dimensional state from being a lightly coloured door handle. The door was sealed, immediately blocking out the noise of the House-Elves' well wishes and leaving the kitchens corridor dark and silent.

"Onwards to the Slytherins' darkened lair, I assume?" Sirius asked James.

"You guessed it", James turned with a smile and crept down the hall.

The four Marauders traveled without James's Invisibility Cloak, as they were too tall for all of them to fit underneath it at once. The kitchens were not overly far from the dungeons, and the boys, still unsure of James's plan, made it to the dark stone corridor in good time. Reaching the harsh grey wall that concealed the Slytherin common room, James whipped out Remus's password list.

"Sirius and I are going in", said James, "It's important that he comes with me, since this about him, really. But Remus, Peter, you two can stay right inside the doorway, no one should be able to see you there, and if everything goes to plan, you should be able to watch everything from where you are."

James threw his Cloak over himself and Sirius, making them disappear in and an instant. He handed his cake out from under the Cloak to Remus.

"Ignotious" James read aloud from the list in a soft voice.

The sound of stone grinding against stone ensued thereafter. The wall in front of them was splitting apart and sliding back to reveal a door way. They could see where the seemingly empty Slytherin common room lay beyond. James swapped the list for his cake with Remus.

"I forgot, it really is all doom and gloom in here.." Sirius said as they entered the shadowy room cautiously.

Checking that the room was indeed devoid of any students, James motioned for Sirius to follow him. No Slytherins were in their common room, and the large clock which sat over the fire place beside an assortment of candles and blackened skulls told Sirius that it was almost midnight.

"James, where are we going?" Sirius asked his friend suspiciously.

"Boy's dormitory," James whispered, "Now which stair case do you think it is?"

On the left side of the common room, next to an elegant green armchair with carved wooden legs stood two doorways, each with a dark stone stair case leading upwards into the wall.

"Ah, maybe the one the right?' Sirius said, unsure.

"Okay, we'll try that one", James agreed.

Sirius glanced back to where Remus and Peter were crouched by the entrance to the common room, before heading up the staircase with James. The stairway was short and straight, taking no time at all for the two boys to climb. Once at the top, Sirius found himself and James in a long passage way that extended to their right. It was lined with the same torches that lined the walls outside in the dungeons. On the wall furthest from them there were seven doors, each spread far apart along the corridor. Sirius realised that each door had one year's dormitory behind them. He and James moved closer to the nearest door. It was painted black and had a small silver number one nailed to it. First years.

"Here", James hissed, "Fourth years".

He was motioning towards the fourth door down the hallway. It was the same glossy black and as all the others but the number nailed to it was a small silver four.

"James, are we doing what I think we are?" Sirius knew what James had in mind, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not, "Because, I don't want more trouble with Regulus."

"Come on, Padfoot" said James, "This isn't that bad a prank, okay, surprising at most. You of all people should love it."

"Okay, but if I get a howler from my mother getting up me because I apparently set Regulus on fire or something, you are going to get it", Sirius whispered quickly.

"Whatever you say, Padfoot", James rolled his eyes before turning the door handle and pushing it open gently.

Sirius peered through the dim light of the wall torch behind them into the dormitory. There were around seven boys sleeping in the room. They each lay in a black iron framed bed, soundly dreaming. Sirius recognised his brother's dark head sitting on a pillow in a bed that was against the far wall of the square room.

James raised his wand and, muttering and incantation, cast a charm that Sirius knew would allow him to speak directly into Regulus's ear without anyone else hearing. A blue spiralling tunnel of light stretched from the end of James's wand and came to a stop next to the head of the younger Black brother.

"Regulus..."James whispered into his end of the tunnel, "Regulus Black... Reggie-poo."

Sirius tried not to let out a laugh as his friend continued to whisper, this time in a ghostly voice. Sirius had not wanted to aggravate things further with his brother, but now he realised that it didn't really matter if he did or not, Regulus had made it clear that he didn't want to talk to Sirius again. What was the point in trying to make things better? No, Sirius decided that this was just another fun prank, and that it didn't really matter if he upset his brother just a little.

As James continued to speak through the tunnel of light, Regulus stirred. The boy started to wake, and James pulled Sirius away from the door, terminating the charm and nearly dropping the cake. He called to Regulus again, this time with just his usual voice, and Sirius heard his brother leave his bed and start for the door. James quickly took Sirius's arm and pulled him back down the hallway. Sirius and James rushed back down the stairs and into the common room.

"Regulus!" James called out.

Sirius looked back towards the main entrance where he could just see the outlines of Peter and Remus, silently looking on. Sirius could hear Regulus moving down the hallway above them. James quickly produced the cake from under the Cloak and sat in the middle of the emerald coloured carpet in front of the doorway that lead up to the Slytherin boys' dormitory.

No sooner had James had pulled his hand back under the Cloak than when Regulus appeared at base of his dormitory stairs. Despite having only just woken up, Sirius could tell that his brother was wary. Sirius watched as his brother scanned the room for the source of James's voice. Regulus looked towards Remus and Peter's hiding place. His grey eyes lingered there for a moment, before turning to the cake he had just realised was sitting on the floor in front of him.

James pointed his wand directly at the cake and muttered something so quietly that even Sirius could not hear him. Regulus bent down to read what it said on the top of the misshapen cake.

"Sorry your brother's a sod..." he read aloud under his breath.

There was a moment of complete silence. No-one moved or spoke while Regulus remained bent over the cake, contemplating its purpose. That was the moment when James flicked his wand sharply upwards, sending the cake upwards as well, so that it slapped directly into Regulus's face. The cake peeled itself away from Sirius's brother as the boy fell back. Fear in his eyes, Regulus got to his feet and tried to scramble away from the cake as it resumed its attack. Again and again the cake walloped him over the head, spattering his face and hair with cream and sponge alike.

Sirius and James could not find the control to stop laughing and roared unashamedly. Regulus, befuddled already by the ceaselessly violent cake, looked around wildly for the people laughing at him. James and Sirius rushed from the room, touching Remus and Peter on the shoulders to let them know it was time to go. The four boys darted down the dungeon corridor, James pulling the Cloak off himself and Sirius so that they could go faster. They ran and ran, until they reached their own common room, bursting with mirth at seeing Regulus Black being hit around the face with a cake.