Crystal POV
In the choir room
Us girls are sitting around in chairs. Quinn is drawing an unflattering sketch of Rachel, complete with the word "LOSER" across the top of the page and several love hearts scattered around.
"Can I ask you guys something private?" Rachel asked
"Yes, you should move to Israel." Santana said
"It's about dating. Not that I'm dating anyone. We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jesse. But let's just say I was dating someone." Rachel said
Mr. Schuester enters the room.
"Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night, and then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out. It was erotic and romantic. And then he said... we should... do... it." Rachel said
Rachel blushes.
"What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?" Rachel asked
"Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my and Genny's babies." Quinn said
"I just want to be ready; I know I'm getting older, and these things are going to happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying 'no'?" Rachel asked
"Just do what I do. Never say 'no'." Santana said
"Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Sorry, Quinn and Crystal." Brittany said
"Look, girl, don't ask me. The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying 'no'." Mercedes said
"We just have to accept that guys don't care about our feelings. Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie... he told me to get rid of the 'Vampire make-up' and I have to work for it if I want to be with him." Tina said
"That's got to sting." Rachel said
"Hey, guys. I'm sorry to interrupt your little sorority, but I couldn't help but overhearing. Are you really having that much boy trouble?" Mr. Schuester asked
"You wouldn't understand, Mr. Shue." Quinn said
"You're a guy." I said
"Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. Like Ms. Pillsbury." Mr. Schuester suggested
"I tried that." Rachel said
The school bell rings, and we all start to leave.
"The fact is is that women still earn 70 cents to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. That attitude starts in high school." I said
Later
We are all in the choir room. Mr. Schuester writes "Madonna" on the white board.
"What comes to mind when you see that name?" Mr. Schuester asked
"Genius." Rachel said
"Icon." Kurt said
"Hall of Fame MILF." Puck said
"So, we're all aware of Madonna's musical and cultural significance, which is why this week, your assignment is to come up with a Madonna number." Mr. Schuester said
All us girls gasp and squeal with delight. Rachel applauds, while Mercedes and Tina high-five.
"Uh, Mr. Shue? As a dude, Madonna makes me kind of uncomfortable." Puck said
"Yeah, she's smokin' and everything, but can't some of us do something else? Like the guy version of Madonna? Like, you know, Pantera?" Finn asked
The boys murmur in agreement.
"Guys! You know, it's come to my attention that many of you haven't been treating the young ladies of our group very nicely lately. You're disrespectful, bullying, sexist, and I hate to say it, misogynistic." Mr. Schuester said
"I have no idea what that means." Finn said
"When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist." Brittany said
"What it means is, put yourself in their shoes for a change. Culturally, Madonna's legacy transcends her music, because by and large, the subtext of her songs are about being strong, independent and-and confident, no matter what your sex. But more than anything, Madonna's musical message is about equality. And that is something I think you guys need to work on." Mr. Schuester said
"Mr. Shue, I don't think we can have an honest conversation about Ms. Ciccone without acknowledging that her images are as indelible as her songs. I would like to honor her contributions by tackling a multi-media project. With Mercedes." Kurt said
"Great. Go for it, Kurt." Mr. Schuester said
"I'm still not down. And no chick intimidates Puckzilla. I just don't think her music translates to show choir." Puck said
"Really? Well I, for one, couldn't disagree more." Rachel said
Rachel stands and whispers something in the ears of the band. She walks to the middle of the room and starts singing "Express Yourself". When the song starts, all us girls excitedly stand up and join her.
"Come on girls, do you believe in love? 'Cause I got something to say about it. And it goes something like this." Rachel sang
In the auditorium
I am wearing an orange corset that hid my bump perfectly. We perform "Express Yourself" while the boys sit in the audience and look bored and/or confused, except for Kurt, who encourages us.
Rachel with New Directions Girls:
Don't go for second best baby
Put your love to the test
Mercedes with New Directions Girls:
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express
How he feels and maybe then
You'll know your love is real
Crystal:
You don't need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Quinn (with New Directions Girls):
Fancy cars that (Go very fast you know)
(They never last, no, no)
Mercedes (with New Directions Girls):
What you need is a big strong hand to
(Lift you to your higher ground)
Make you feel like a queen on a throne make him
(Love you till you can't come down)
Rachel with New Directions Girls:
Don't go for second best baby
Put your love to the test
Mercedes and Rachel with New Directions Girls:
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express
How he feels and maybe then
You'll know your love is real
Tina with New Directions Girls:
And when you're gone
He might regret it
Mercedes and Santana with New Directions Girls:
Think about the love he once had
Tina with New Directions Girls:
Try to carry on
But he just won't get it
Mercedes and Santana with New Directions Girls:
(Rachel: Heeey) He'll be back on his knees so please
Rachel with New Directions Girls:
(New Directions Girls: Don't go for second best) Baby,
Put your love to the test
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express how he feels (Mercedes: oh oh oh, oh oh oh)
And maybe then you'll know your love is real (Santana: Your love is real)
Express yourself (Mercedes: Let him know your love is real)
New Directions Girls:
You've got to make him
Express himself (Santana: Baby)
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Rachel with New Directions Girls:
(Mercedes: Put your love to the test)
So if you want it right now
Make him show you how (Mercedes: Make him express how he feels)
Express what he's got
Oh baby ready or not
New Directions Girls:
Express yourself.
At the end of the number, Mr. Schuester and Kurt applaud.
"That's what I'm talking about. All right!" Mr. Schuester said
In the choir room
Mr. Schuester just introduced Jesse as the newest member of the New Directions.
"What the hell?! It seems like now everybody's doing things just to hurt my feelings." Finn said
"I thought you all would take this news a little better. I'm a star. You can learn from me." Jesse said
"We were already fighting for second leads. And now that you've shown up, I've lost all hope at ever getting a solo." Kurt said
Kurt glares at Jesse.
"Yeah, that's right. And y'all just trot me out at the end of every number so I can wail on the last note. How is that okay?" Mercedes asked
"He's a spy, Mr. Shue. I would know." Santana said
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. I saw all the paperwork, I spoke with his parents..." Mr. Schuester started
"They winter in Bali. It's a very expensive phone call." Jesse said
Finn makes a face.
"Jessie just moved in with his uncle, which is in our school district. It's all above board, guys. He goes to this school now." Mr. Schuester said
"But this isn't fair." Artie said
"Guys! Everyone who's ever auditioned for this group has gotten in. That's how we do things here. Okay, to suddenly change the rules now, that would be unfair." Mr. Schuester said, angrily
Brittany raises her hand.
"Brittany." Mr. Schuester said
"Mr. Shue, is he your son?" Brittany asked
I laugh and Mr. Schuester just looks at Brittany.
"I don't understand why you're doing this." Rachel said
"Because when you love something, you got to go for it. You would never be with me completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline. For you." Jesse said
"All right, guys, we have got a lot of work to do. Jesse, great to have you here. Welcome aboard." Mr. Schuester said
Mr. Schuester shakes Jesse's hand.
"Okay! from the top." Mr. Schuester said
In the gym
"Five, six, seven, eight!" Coach Sylvester said
The Cheerios, with Kurt and Mercedes, perform "4 Minutes" in front of the school.
I smile at the two, glad they were finally getting the attention they deserve. Mr. Schuester looks displeased to see them there. At the end of the performance, they receive a standing ovation.
In the auditorium
We perform "Like A Prayer" with a church choir backing us up.
Rachel:
Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home
Finn and Rachel with New Directions:
When you call my name
It's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour
I can feel your power
Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there
Finn:
I hear your voice
It's like an angel sighing
Kurt:
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying
Mercedes:
I close my eyes
Oh God, I think I'm falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Let the choir sing
Ooh
Finn and Rachel with New Directions and The Choir:
When you call my name
It's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour
I can feel your power
Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there
New Directions and The Choir (Mercedes):
Just like a prayer, I'll take you there (Like a prayer) (Mercedes and Rachel: I'll take you there!)
It's like a dream to me (Ohh)
Just like a prayer (Just like) (Mercedes: Ooh)
Your voice can take me there (A prayer) (Mercedes: Ooh)
Just like a muse to me (Your voice can take me there)
You are a mystery (Mercedes: Take you there, take you there)
Rachel (The Choir):
Just like a dream (Just like)
You are not what you seem (A prayer)
Just like a prayer
Finn, Mercedes, and Rachel with New Directions and The Choir (Mercedes):
No choice, your voice can take me there (Yeah)