Bridging the Gap
Chapter Thirteen: Unsolicited Advice
A/N:
[7 November 2010] Whenever I think of having to write this chapter, I imagine typing the last word of this fic, and rejoicing that finally, at long last, I'll be able to move on from drama and focus on writing horror. Yep. I can barely wait to finish this! [I might just die of self-loathing, having to write cheesy scenes like this. This is gonna suck. ::(]
An admin note: I uploaded the edited versions of Chapters 12 and 8. I don't really like changing what I've written before, but in this case, it's necessary. In the original Ch8, Erisu says that Kahoko was getting in-house lessons from a Kiriya Akihiko, who had a grandson named Kiriya Etou. I got a bit confused here; the real character is named Etou Kiriya, and the second to the last OC I had in mind is too young to be his grandfather. So yeah, I tweaked some previous chapters – peace! ::D
AAAAH! The last three chapters! I sat with them for almost a week, and I was planning to sit with them even longer, but ALAS. I wanted to get this story over and done with. Haha! The last three chapters! ::D [I apologize in advance. Please don't hurt me. ::(]
Disclaimer:
I do not own La Corda d'Oro; the whole concept belongs to Kure Yuki-sensei.
This fanfic is based on Primo Passo.
Previously:
Chapter Twelve: Gossip Saves
"I really don't get you two," he muttered, shaking his head despondently. "You're obviously mad about each other – can't you two just get married and let the rest of us live in peace? I don't know what happened, but you obviously value each other more than you value yourselves, so why don't you- "
He stopped talking, and opened one bleary eye. He could see Tsukimori beginning to walk away from him, absolutely unconcerned with what he had to say as a determined, rather angry mask took over his features.
"Hey, Tsukimori," Tsuchiura said aloud, to no avail; Tsukimori had gotten to his feet. "TSUKIMORI!"
Chapter Thirteen: Unsolicited Advice
March
Etou Residence, Saga
As he slipped into his dressing gown for the second time that morning, Etou Akihiko suppressed the urge to unleash his wrath on a nearby wall and potentially damage his home beyond repair. Rubbing at his tired, bloodshot eyes, he glanced at the sole clock in his bedroom: It was twenty-eight minutes past five in the morning. Cursing, raging, he opened the door with a mighty bang, emerging from his quarters with his deep red eyes flashing ferociously.
Exactly what on Earth was happening? Why were people turning up in front of his house, demanding to rouse him, at this ungodly hour?
The doorbell continued to ring insistently as Akihiko hurriedly opened the front door. By habit, as he stepped into the front yard, he took one swift look at the skies ahead; morning had yet to break. Grimacing at the thought of his neighbors waking up at the racket the intruder was making, he hastily raised his voice to pacify the unexpected visitor.
"Pipe down! I'm coming – coming!"
Resignedly pulling at the iron bars that made up his gate, Akihiko came face-to-face with a familiar-looking, blue haired man who looked to be in his early twenties, his eyes tired and obviously stressed, hands buried in the pockets of his heavy travelling cloak.
"Etou-san," the man began, taking his hands out to reveal pale, slender fingers. His voice was strangely, pleasantly calm despite his ragged appearance, as though he was measuring his tone carefully. "I'm sorry for bothering you this early in the morning. I can't begin to apologize for-"
"Cut to the chase and tell me who you are," Akihiko practically growled, one hand still on the half-opened gate, barring the stranger's view of what was inside the house. He didn't think the newcomer meant him any harm – especially since Akihiko was beginning to think he was supposed to know who this man was – but it never hurt to be careful.
It never hurts to be careful.
"Etou-san, I'm Tsukimori Len. I'm looking for a friend of mine – Hino Kahoko?" Tsukimori paused, lips parted slightly as he wondered what to say next. "I have reason to believe she's here…"
Akihiko stood rooted to the spot, mental organs temporarily ceasing major functions as he blinked up at the international concert artist – the man whose numerous albums were perched almost reverently on his living room shelf, the man who had cemented Japan's position in classical music…
The man Kahoko had warned him might be coming.
"Aah," was all Akihiko had been able to say. "Yes. Kahoko. You're looking for Kahoko. Well, I-"
He caught Tsukimori's unwavering stare, and they exchanged a few blinks.
"She's inside," Akihiko told him almost pleasantly. "She should be sleeping right now so if you don't mind waiting, I can wake her up…"
"Sorry to trouble you," Tsukimori muttered, head bowed as Akihiko stepped aside to let him in. "I don't normally… do things like this."
"Hmmm?" Akihiko mumbled distractedly as he led the way to the living room, flipping the light switches on to welcome the visitor. In the sudden glare of the overhead light, the large family area looked unnaturally bright and cheerful, a perfect contrast to the bleakness of the morning and the downcast aura emanating from the two people currently standing in the middle of it.
Akihiko frowned in disapproval. She had messed up his interior design again.
"There's no need to justify your actions," he said offhandedly, wondering what happened to his standard brown pillow cases. "Frankly, I don't really need to know."
Akihiko slowly whirled around to see a wide-eyed Tsukimori Len staring back at him in slight disbelief.
"Please sit," he ordered Tsukimori as graciously as he could. "I'll go tell Kahoko to come down. In the meantime, make yourself comfortable."
Without waiting for his guest to sit down or even formulate a fitting reply, Akihiko turned on his heel, and dragged his slipper-clad feet to the spare room on the second floor. It was the same room Kahoko had slept in during her stay in his house; being so comfortable with her presence, he hadn't even bothered to check up on her condition before he groggily returned to his interrupted sleep…
She had turned up on his threshold unexpectedly, only few hours ago, in that forced state of cheerfulness she lapsed into whenever there was something major on her mind. Akihiko-san, she had begged, can I stay here for a while?
He hadn't even minded not getting a decent reason for her sudden arrival. Except, he believed, somehow, that the complications tied to her return were indirectly, unintentionally, caused by the man currently sitting in his living room.
"Kaho," he called out, knocking on the door of her bedroom. "Kahoko!"
Straining his ears, he could hear only the faint rustling of leaves – none of the usual mutters Kahoko invoked when someone tried to wake her up. He knocked again, calling her name – to no avail. Forehead creasing in confusion, he placed one hand on the cold doorknob, and issued a threat.
"If you're not planning to open the door, I'll-!"
Akihiko effortlessly twisted the knob free, which surprised him; he had given Kahoko strict instructions to always check her locks before going to bed. Relatively perplexed, he unceremoniously threw the door open, barely moved by the sight of Kahoko's neat, empty bed…
Sighing, he swiftly made his way back to the living room, where Tsukimori waited with his hands pressed tightly together, head bowed. Maintaining his expression as the guest rose to acknowledge his return, Akihiko's level gaze met a pair of worried topaz eyes. "She's not in her bedroom."
"What?" He could see panic and a slight tinge of madness seeping into the younger man's eyes. Sadistic as it was, he took the desperation as a good sign. "You mean she left without asking permission? Do you think she knew I was coming?"
"She knew," Akihiko supplied levelly. He even managed to crack a lopsided grin as he added, "That's why she chose to wait in the back garden. I think you'll find her sitting by my brother's grave."
XXX
Etou Kiriya – The name on the engraved tombstone seemed to shine against the lights of Akihiko's prized rear lawn. [1] Sitting with her arms wrapped around her raised legs, Hino Kahoko rested her chin on her knees, her back to the lone tree near Kiriya's isolated grave marker.
She sat beneath the wide-canopied oak Kiriya had favored when he was still alive. It was still dawn, and dark, a fact which chilled Kahoko slightly. Although, in his lifetime, her friend hadn't seemed like angsty ghost-material, Kahoko didn't think he'd be that friendly if they met again in the afterlife either. After all, she was mainly the reason he had to drive such a distance in the first place, the reason he got into that accident…
"I hope you're not bearing any grudges against me," Kahoko muttered to her friend's grave, eyes targeted at the remnants of the last candle that had been lit there. "Although, personally, I would totally understand if you hated me… though I really wish you – uh – wouldn't – "
She sighed, and fought against the drowsiness that was traitorously washing over her. Against her will, her eyelids were beginning to droop, weary from having waited for a good two to three hours in the strangest of positions, the most unnatural locations. Perhaps Len had decided to come in the morning after all? Worse, had he decided to stop looking for her…?
Just as I –
"It's really strange hearing you report to the dead that way."
She jerked back to wakefulness, hearing that voice in the middle of this lonesome garden. Her eyes snapping open, she saw Tsukimori Len casually walking to where she sat, a tired yet smug grin on his face. Behind him, illuminated by his numerous porch lights, stood Etou Akihiko, clothed in his favorite dressing robe, discreetly pushing his glass garden doors shut.
She didn't even hear them move.
"Len," she muttered, hands falling limply at her sides. "Aaaah-"
I've been waiting-
"Mind if I sit down?" he asked before she could string two coherent words together. "Long ride." [2]
"Uh, sure," Kahoko managed to croak, scooting over to give the man some space. As he gracelessly plopped beside her – uncharacteristically groaning like an old man – she averted her face and recalled her battle plan.
It was problematic, his sudden personality change. She had thought of giving him a piece of her mind, but it seemed he was in the mood to take control over things for once – at the worst possible time. How had things gotten this complicated? At which point did they have to start to fix things?
He has to know though-
"I knew you were coming-"
"So you've been expecting me?"
They exchanged surprised looks; it was a sign of their awkward situation that they spoke at the same time. Her eyebrows instantly rose in disbelief; his lips slowly curved into a knowing smile.
"Will you let me talk first?" he requested in a chipper tone. "Thing is, on the way here, I was rehearsing what I wanted to say, and-"
She gulped, battle plan evaporating, and nodded before he felt it necessary to explain his actions further. It was the unexpected cheerfulness that unnerved her the most; he had always been gentle and awkwardly sweet – but for him to be unabashedly happy like this? It chilled her mildly.
"Yeah, sure, I don't mind – go ahead-"
He smiled faintly, and she hoped he didn't notice her slightly edging away in preparation for a possible tirade.
The smile remained on his face as he contemplated the grave before them, lamplights reflected in his topaz eyes. He was still, and pale, and Kahoko thought she could see dark circles under his eyes, making him look older and so much wearier. When he sighed, and tore his gaze away, Kahoko took a sharp intake of breath, shoulders tensing. He was ready.
"Did the accident hurt?"
She turned to him, mild shock splashed on her features. It wasn't the first time they acknowledged the incident, but Tsukimori had never spoken about it outright – not like this. "Well," she began, looking away, hoping the tremor in her voice was a figment of her imagination. "I didn't really feel anything-"
"Don't be stupid," he interrupted, disgust lacing his words. "Of course it hurt."
Even with her eyes diverted, she could feel him shift his gaze on her, watching her.
"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I got hurt, too?"
Tsukimori was looking at the ground, ignoring her pained gaze as she reflexively reacted to his words. He sighed, and in a deliberately slow motion, lazily met her eyes with his own.
The slow movements, the mechanical motions, were a front. His stare was burning her…
"I may…" He paused, composing himself with a deep breath. "I may not have been there with you when it happened. I don't know what it feels to live through a car crash. I don't know how it feels not to be able to play music. But I…" His eyes darkened, deadened. "It hurts to see you like this."
Exhaling raggedly, he leaned against the tree behind them, and closed his eyes. Gaze on him, Kahoko could see stress taking its toll on the man. He was exhausted, and worse, trapped in a paralyzing pain that went beyond the physical-
"I can't remember what's supposed to go next," he admitted abruptly, chuckling slightly at himself. "Huh. And to think I've been rehearsing all this time-"
She was not amused.
"Len, maybe you should rest-"
He silenced her with a hand, eyes opening. Seeing her looking back at him timidly, questions in her eyes, Tsukimori reassured her with a smile. He sat closer to her, clasping his hands around his knees, staring unseeing at the ground directly in front of him.
She had remained quiet.
"I can't promise you anything," he said softly, weighing each word carefully. "I can't promise you healing, or understanding. The fact is… you may very well be able to live on without me. But… If I may be so bold as to say what I really feel-"
"I need you. I want to be by your side." His words, guileless and true, were spoken with a muted passion that brought his voice down to a whisper. "Even if I may not be able to help you with anything, I-"
He stopped, shocked, as a warm, welcome weight fell on his right. Wordlessly, he shifted, and saw the top of Kahoko's head resting on his raised arm. "Kahoko?"
She laughed at herself, a soft, tinkling chuckle of amusement.
"I'm an idiot, aren't I?" she whispered "Here I am, pushing away the one person who cares for me the most. I've been so… stupid."
Tsukimori couldn't help himself. It was all so ironic – the endless months of torturous separation, the cycle of confusion and pain, the numerous hearts that were wounded… Everything boiled down to this one moment, to her realizing what he believed all along.
It was folly, really – trying to keep away from each other.
Gaze falling, he smirked. "Yeah, you have."
He could almost hear her smile.
"I don't know what I've been thinking," she added vehemently, lost in her own thoughts. "I don't know why I kept running away, why I kept running around. I was so… scared."
Holding his breath, he rested his cheek on the crown of her head. She didn't flinch, or turn away, merely sitting still. Gratefully, he closed his eyes. "I know. I was angry, too."
There was a pause – early-morning silence reigned as the rhythm of their breathing naturally synched.
"You know what everyone keeps telling me?" Tsukimori remembered unexpectedly, their words hitting him as he looked back on everything they had gone through. "Tsuchiura and Kaji-sensei-?"
"You spoke with them?"
He ignored her, calling forth from his mind the right memories. "They told me to tell you that you're worth the fight."
She stiffened, and even in his exhausted, pseudo-delirious state, he knew he had hit the jackpot. So it had been that, after all…
"Baka," he chided her gently. "How could you even think that?"
Kahoko laughed. She was tired, too, and confused, but somehow, she felt a heavy weight unburdening from within her, a fresh lightness inside her chest.
"Someday," she told him earnestly. "One day, we're gonna look back on this and laugh."
She turned, so that her eyes now faced his arm – he could feel her deep breathing tickling the surface of his coat. "Missing each other all this time… was pretty dumb of us, huh?"
A sudden feeling of elation, one arm protectively thrown around a pair of slumped shoulders. Stress, relief, and sheer happiness. He grinned; she refused to move.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, still unwilling to forgive herself. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault-"
He mumbled incoherently, and, with his eyes still closed in a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion, lightly pressed his lips to the top of her head. "Let's leave this discussion for another time," he requested. "There are too many things to talk about, too many things to consider…"
She tensed, the first tears falling from her eyes as she moved closer to him… as he pulled her closer.
Murmuring into her hair, he said, "All that matters is that we've finally arrived at this point. Together."
In response, she merely muttered nonsensically, in phrases slurred by the advance of sleep. They stayed wrapped in their awkward embrace, eyes shut, relishing the warmth of their distance bridged, their bodies close…
When Tsukimori opened his eyes again, the garden lamps had gone out, and the faint glow of the Monday sun was peeking out of the pink-and-pale blue-tinged morning sky. The sight – glorious though he would have found it under more normal circumstances – made his eyes water.
"Morning," he croaked in a hoarse voice.
"Good morning to you, too," Kahoko muttered silkily, raising her head to smile up at him.
As they exchanged stares, scanning each other's eyes for any hints on what the other was thinking of at that moment, Tsukimori smugly raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't telling you 'good morning'," he supplied, reverting to his favorite monotone.
"Huh?" was all Kahoko could come up with, confusion impairing her ability to think. A glance at the heavens, and back to his eyes – she looked up again and frowned. And then the impact-
"Tsukimori Len!"
Irritated, she mock-punched Tsukimori in the face, and he rolled to the left, clutching his cheek. Is she serious? He groaned as he tried to sit up. That punch actually stings-!
"Ow," he muttered, nursing his injured cheek, falling back to his initial position. "That hurt-!"
"You jerk! You completely ruined the moment!"
"Hey- You ruined the moment first-!"
But she was already on her feet, kicking him mercilessly, hair in disarray.
"Ow, Kahoko, you hit my thigh! Is this what I get after chasing you all across Japan?"
"How'd you get here anyway? The trains are all down-"
"I could ask you the same question-"
"Gods, Tsukimori, stop being so irritatingly evasive!"
"What's this with the Tsukimori? I thought we'd called it quits-?"
"I'll call you whatever I like! Didn't you just pledge to be my slave-?"
"What-?"
From a distance, the sound of a door banging open reverberated like gunfire in the otherwise 'silent' garden. Akihiko, eyes flashing, stood on his glass doorway, hands on the jamb as though preventing himself from running outside and strangling to death the invaders of his home and solitude.
"Will you two shut up already!" he practically shouted, voice louder than either Kahoko's or Tsukimori's. "You'll wake the neighbors if you go on with your childish bickering!"
Kahoko paused, one foot on a disheveled Tsukimori, who had one hand on her coat and another on the ground to keep himself steady against the force of her kick. A second flitted by as the three regarded each other.
Sighing, realizing how improper the two of them must look to the owner of the house, Tsukimori tried to stand up, but exhaustion multiplied the effect of gravity and sent him crashing back down. Concerned, Kahoko offered him a hand, which he merely stared at for a few moments.
Still looking at the proffered assistance, Tsukimori asked in a low voice, "He gave you a crash course on the violin, right?"
"Hmm," Kahoko merely said. "I see you've done your research well."
A frown and a flash of some dark, deep emotion flitted across Tsukimori's face. "You guys are on awfully informal terms-"
She sighed, impatient. "What do you expect? I lived in the guy's house for months-"
Without warning, he grabbed her hand, and pinned her down in an armlock. Squirming, she tried to protest, but he would have none of it, speaking close to her ear so she would hear him clearly.
"This is where you went after graduation?" There was an odd, closed look on his face. "I should have trusted my instinct. I never should have left you."
Her eyes softened as she considered his guilty expression. She didn't want him regretting his decisions, not when they had helped him so much.
She went for the diversion. "Jealous?"
Flushing, he quickly averted his gaze, his grip on Kahoko loosening. Seizing the opportunity, she tipped him away from her – catching him by surprise – and pounced-
Akihiko sighed as Len rolled defenselessly on the grass beside Kiriya's grave, crying out in surprise. He would deal with the Tanakas later; in any case, pacifying the octogenarian couple would be easier than separating the two toddlers presently frolicking in his backyard.
Massaging his throbbing temples, Akihiko returned to the kitchen, where a mug of coffee waited beside today's lesson plan. Perching on his favorite, cushy stool, and ignoring the strangled noises echoing all over the house, he had already pressed his lips against warm porcelain to take his first sip of the day when the phone rang.
The kitchen extension, hanging from the countertop post to his immediately left, rang noisily, shocking Akihiko and causing him to spill his coffee on his favorite dressing robe and his hand. Cursing, raging, he put the mug down, waving his free hand to ease the stinging on his fingers. Glaring at the bright, red pulsing dot on his wall phone, he picked up the receiver with an almost feral snarl.
"Hello?" said the caller in an agitated tone, not even bothering to let Akihiko speak first. "Etou-sensei? This is Kaji from Mizuide General – I'm sure you remember me. I was wondering if Kahoko was at your place? Thing is, she's apparently been missing since last night – her friends have been ringing my house non-stop for a while now – so I was wondering if you knew anything-"
Akihiko calmly put the phone back on its cord.
Unremorseful, he stared past his steaming coffee cup for a second – hand still throbbing – to note that the edges of his notes were smudged with brown flecks. Blinking, he gingerly lifted the mug, and slowly drank his coffee in peace.
It didn't matter who else was looking for her really, Akihiko mused. It didn't matter. She had turned up on her own, before the only one who counted.
A/N:
Right. I took the coward's way out and avoided 'the conversation' that had been stalling progress on this thing for weeks. I'M SO SORRY; I just couldn't take it anymore – all those extra cheesy lines! So yeah, I made up the excuse – which, I hope, is valid enough – that they were both too tired of everything to talk properly. Soooo sorry. ;;X Waaah. I know it's not a catharsis for a reader at all, but the thing is, it is one for me. ;;(
I really like this Akihiko though. I wonder if he's anything like canon-Akihiko. I don't really read the manga, and I barely remember Second Passo, so I wouldn't know the difference, haha. ::D
For moonlight and pichieriuzen – for the advice and the encouragement. You keep me going, sniff.
[26 November 2010]
Revenge of the Footnotes:
[1] Tombstone. I have no idea which factions of the Japanese population opt for cremation – Buddhists, I think, but I don't know about the others. Sorry if this inexcusable lack of research bothers culture buffs, but, anyway, I think it would have been stranger to describe Kahoko as talking to an urn. AND! Let's not even start discussing Akihiko's reasons for tending a tomb in his backyard; it's just the way he rolls.
[2] Travel time. In Nodame Cantabile, it took Chiaki Shinichi an entire day to get from Tokyo to Kyushu; I assume that's really how long crossing the distance is supposed to take. However! Let's assume both Kahoko and Tsukimori have high-tech, time-bending powers that enabled them to shorten the travel time. Grrr. I hate having to create miracles like this.