A/N This is the third chapter I've posted today (I split them up for length's sake). Go back to chapter 12 if you haven't yet read that one. Would love your feedback on this story so far. xoxo
Three weeks had gone by. Tara was now back to residing in her apartment. She was also working at Merlotte's again. She refused to let what happened to her affect where she went and what she did. But she now carried a gun with her, and whenever the last remaining patrons left the bar, she would tuck it into her pants and become extra vigilant of her surroundings.
Pam asked her once if she was back to bar tending there, but Tara lied. She figured she would tell her eventually, but she knew right now Pam wouldn't be able to deal with it. Pam had stopped visiting Bon Temps altogether. She didn't want anyone to ever see them together again, and to inadvertently provoke more hatred and bigotry and possible danger for Tara. So Tara would go see Pam. She tried to every night, and they would talk or cuddle or just lay in bed in silence. Pam never made a move, but Tara was patient. In the beginning, they were content with simply holding each other and conversing until the sun came up. They were finally starting to return to how they used to be.
Tara did at times find herself going over the memories of her attack. She would look back in disbelief. Not just at the act itself, but at how she subsequently reacted. She had always been such a fighter, so it was strange thinking that she had become such a shell for so long. She thought about how Pam must have felt. So full of blame and anguish. Pam almost had it harder in a way, having to watch a loved one deteriorate and suffer so.
But they were better now. They were each so relieved that there were no secrets between them anymore, nothing to hide. The love they had for another was finally not causing them hurt, but instead, a beautiful comfort and a feeling of security.
Still, one night as they were lying in bed, Tara felt a heavy desire stirring inside her and this time she wanted to do something about it. She decided that they should be ready for this again. Pam was reading aloud a passage from one of her favorite novels, and Tara listened closely as she lay beside her. She brought her hand to Pam's stomach and ran her fingers delicately over the fabric of her shirt. Pam paid no mind to this and kept reading.
Tara then slipped her fingers beneath Pam's shirt and began to caress her smooth, pale skin. Pam noticed this, but it wasn't much more affectionate and demonstrative than they had been in the past few weeks. So she kept reading, and when she was finished she closed the book and placed it down on the ground. Tara removed her hand and turned on her side to face Pam.
"Come here," she said softly.
Pam eventually turned to face her. Tara ran her fingers down Pam's cheek and then moved in to kiss her. It was a simple peck, but she moved in and brushed their lips together again. Pam's eyes slipped shut. This was nice.
But all of a sudden, she felt Tara pulling her until she was on top of her. Tara spread her legs, causing Pam's knees to sink into the mattress as she hovered over her.
"I want you," Tara breathed.
Pam swallowed. She wanted her too, she realized. She had enjoyed Tara's company so much over the past few weeks that she had forgotten that they hadn't yet been physically intimate again. Now she could feel her body wanting to be, but she was still extremely tentative and unsure. She couldn't help it. She still had a fear that she might take Tara back to that horrible place, no matter how stable she claimed herself to be. And the idea of "fucking" her now seemed so wrong. Even the thought made her feel like a monster. It made her feel like she would be would be dehumanizing and demeaning Tara just like her attackers did. Pam's touches had been so soft and gentle and pure lately; even the idea of making love didn't seem right now.
Tara drew her legs in and slid them underneath Pam. She then lifted her and brought her closer until Pam was sitting over her lap. Their pelvises were pressed against each other, and Tara reached for Pam's hands and intertwined their fingers. Pam couldn't even squeeze them back. She looked down to the side, unable to hide her reluctance and unease.
Tara saw this and exhaled loudly out of frustration. She pushed Pam off of her and got out of bed. Pam saw that she was agitated. And with good reason.
"I'm so sorry, Tara," she whispered.
Tara didn't say anything. She had planted herself a few paces in front of her. She locked eyes with Pam, her expression completely resolute and unwavering. She then began to undress, so deliberately as if she was on a mission.
Pam stared at her in confusion and growing dread. "Tara, I don't…Why are you…" she trailed off. Tara wasn't stopping. She unzipped her jeans and dragged them down her legs along with her underwear. She stepped out them and she stood there completely naked before Pam.
It was very awkward. Pam briefly glanced at her before casting her eyes to the wall.
"Look at me," Tara ordered.
Pam bit her lip. What the fuck was Tara doing? But she eventually turned her head and made eye contact with her.
Tara stood still for a moment. Pam glared at her, feeling incredibly uneasy. Then, she saw Tara bring her hand over her stomach. Tara took in a deep breath, then dragged it lower. She began to touch herself, very slowly.
"What are you doing…" Pam whispered in a panic, turning her head away.
"Look at me," Tara repeated, louder now.
Pam was so uncomfortable she wanted to scream. But she gradually shifted her gaze back to her. She watched her gently stroke herself up and down. Tara's eyes were still locked firmly on Pam.
"Pam," Tara began, her voice low and calm. She brought her other hand to her chest and began to caress her breast.
"Why are you doing this?" Pam said faintly.
"Because I want you to touch me," she responded. "Because I am sexual. Because I love you," Tara affirmed.
Pam took in a deep breath. And this time, she actually let herself see Tara. She took in her rich, dark skin. She moved her eyes over the subtle curves of her body, over her strong, toned limbs. She watched as she slowly slid her fingers inside herself and pulled them out again, causing her abs to tense and her breath to hitch.
The longer Pam observed her, the less uncomfortable she felt and the more turned on she began to feel. The more she wanted to be doing that to her, to be touching her. Tara sighed and closed her eyes as she increased the pace of her fingers. Pam watched her for a few moments, but couldn't take it any longer.
"Tara," she rasped.
Tara opened her eyes and looked at her. Pam's expression had changed. There was not an ounce of reservation or discomfort there anymore. Tara walked towards her, and as soon as she was close enough, Pam forcefully pulled her down onto her lap.
They crushed their lips together and kissed each other ravenously. Tara tangled her fingers into Pam's locks and their tongues met eagerly. Pam pulled on the back of her neck and Tara sucked on her full lips with fervor. Pam wanted to touch her everywhere at once. She ran her hands down her back and cupped her ass. Then she palmed her breasts and dragged them over her nipples. She squeezed her hips and moved to kiss her neck.
Tara tugged at Pam's shirt and practically threw it off. She unclasped her bra in a frenzy and tossed it behind her. She reached for the button of her pants and pushed her down onto her back as she pulled them off along with her panties. She crawled on top of her but Pam flipped her and switched their positions. Tara opened her legs and pulled Pam closer to her. They were flush against each other and Pam could feel Tara's arousal rub onto her own skin. All she wanted to do was touch her and it felt so good to finally feel this way again. No doubts, no uncertainties, no fears. She could feel that Tara was growing desperate, and she began to slowly run her hand down her torso. Before she moved any lower, she looked Tara in the eye.
Tara gazed back at her. She wanted to smile, but she was so turned on that all she could do was exhale heavily through her nose. Pam brought her hand lower and then after a moment, she easily slid two fingers inside. Tara's eyes fluttered shut and she moaned. Pam was in ecstasy. This fiery passion she felt for Tara had been quelled for so long from all of the anguish and pain. But now it was in full flames again and Pam had never been more aroused. It felt so good to touch her and Pam could feel how much she wanted her. Tara clung to her and moaned into her ear and Pam drove her fingers harder into her.
You make everything better, she remembered. Tara's words comforted her like a thick, warm blanket.
Pam leaned down and kissed Tara's jaw, then moved to suck on her earlobe. Tara was so wet and was clenching her fingers and there was nothing but love and trust flowing from the both of them. As it should be.
Pam was hitting that perfect spot and Tara's hips were lifted so high that her quads ached and burned. She tried to keep her eyes open and she grabbed Pam's waist and pulled her in closer. Her hand slithered down between Pam's legs and she began stroking her, feeling her arousal coat her fingers. Pam's mouth fell open and her fangs popped. Tara's fingers slid up and down her clit and Pam's brow furrowed as she moaned. They were both almost there, but there was something else Pam wanted to do before they got there. She slowly pulled her fingers out of Tara and began to kiss her down her torso. She dragged her tongue down her pelvis and held her legs open. She licked her lips, and Tara whimpered as Pam's mouth met the juncture of her thighs, tongue first. Pam caressed Tara's hips as she sucked and pulled at the sensitive flesh. Tara's legs began to shake and she placed her hands over Pam's as she moved her hips.
Pam never wanted to stop. She loved feeling every twitch and shudder of Tara's vibrate through her own body. She loved tasting her. She loved feeling her warm skin pressed against her own. She circled her tongue and Tara's hips began to jerk. Tara felt breathless and dizzy, and her skin tingled as her thoughts became foggy. Every nerve in her body ignited and she began to spasm. Pam held her firmly and kept flicking her tongue. Tara drew in deep breaths as a rush of blood pulsed between her legs. She managed to sit up halfway and grab Pam's head, gently pushing it away. She was still panting, and instead of pulling Pam up all the way, she guided her head to the inside of her thigh. She held there for a moment, and Pam eventually understood what she was asking for. She lightly grazed her fangs over her skin for a while, and then sunk them into her smooth, dark flesh. Tara gasped and tried to keep her legs still. Pam sucked harder as she felt Tara's sweet blood pool into her mouth. She swallowed it hungrily but made sure she was neat about it, not allowing any to drip down her lips. She eventually pulled away and licked away the remaining blood from her skin. She pushed her forefinger into her fang and healed the two openings, but she then brought her finger to Tara's lips.
Tara didn't need Pam's blood, and she had never before had a desire to try it recreationally. But she trusted her, and as Pam's finger touched her lips, Tara opened her mouth and sucked on it. A few drops greeted Tara's tongue and she swallowed. Pam removed her finger and leaned down to kiss her. As soon as she did, Tara felt an overpowering warmth and electricity generating throughout her whole body. It felt like it was intensely humming, and the throb between her legs had grown exponentially. Her senses were completely awake and invigorated and Pam's touch felt like a dream. She sat up and pulled Pam up to sitting too. She then straddled her lap and wrapped her arms around her upper back. Pam leaned in and kissed her chest and sucked on her skin. Pam then slid her hand down the plane of her stomach and back once again into slick heat. Tara held onto her with crushing force. The effects of her blood were heightening every touch and every movement. Pam twisted her wrist and her fingers flexed and curled before adding another digit. Tara panted and began to grind her hips in rhythm with Pam's fingers. Her abs tensed and shook and her hair stuck to her sweaty temples and forehead. She slid her own hand down Pam's pelvis and pushed three fingers inside of her. Pam cried out and brought her free hand to grip Tara's shoulder. They both feverishly moved against each other like this for a while, their palms occasionally brushing against the other's clit. Tara's eyes squeezed shut and she felt sweat tickling her lower back.
"Tara," Pam husked.
Tara opened her eyes and gazed at her. Pam leaned in and kissed her. Their mouths then opened and they massaged their wet, warm tongues together. Pam's fingers moved into vamp speed and the wet, smacking sound from the friction of her fingers entering Tara quickened. Tara's mouth fell open and she felt her voice seize in her throat. She increased the speed of her own fingers and pressed her palm against Pam's taut bundle of nerves, circling it counter-clockwise.
Tara's hips began to buck and Pam also felt herself tightening around Tara's fingers. Tara wrapped her arm under Pam's and held onto her back as she sucked air into her lungs and felt a growing burning in her abs. Pam clutched Tara's shoulder and groaned as she was pushed over the brink. They touched their foreheads together as their bodies shuddered and quaked. Tara exhaled warm air onto Pam's face as sweat dripped down her neck and back. She kept rocking her hips against Pam's hand and she felt Pam clutch her harder as they rode the intense and heated waves that coursed through them. Their bodies eventually returned to stillness as they continued holding each other. They later made their way to their backs, and Pam pulled the sheets up over them as she brought her head to rest on Tara's stomach. Tara lightly scratched Pam's scalp and her eyes slipped shut. The two of them stayed like this for a while. Neither of them wanted to move. Ever. Tara was still feeling the effects of Pam's blood. Her senses were sharpened, and her favorite part was how it intensified Pam's sweet fragrance, which seemed to waft freely through the air. Even as Pam's blood wore off, a powerful warmth still radiated throughout Tara's entire body.
Tara stayed over, and this time when they slept, it was in each other's arms. They awoke the next evening and stayed in bed for a while, lying there in silence. They could hear a rustling upstairs that was probably Ginger. Pam lightly stroked her fingers over Tara's collarbone and sighed.
Tara eventually felt a need to speak. There was something that had been on her mind every day for almost a month now and she finally felt ready to say it.
"Hey Pam?" she murmured.
"Yeah?" the blonde answered softly.
"I have to tell you something," Tara continued. "Or I guess, ask you something."
"Okay," Pam replied.
"I just want you to promise that you won't immediately judge and say no," Tara warned.
"I'm sure I wouldn't do that," Pam replied.
"Just promise me, okay?" Tara added. "Please."
"I promise," Pam vowed.
"Okay," Tara responded. She drew in a deep breath and paused for a moment before speaking again.
"I want you to turn me," she finally said.