Chapter 14
Katniss's POV
Is this real?
Could this be just one horrible dream that I need to awaken from?
Has one of my children died within my womb?
The place that I once thought to be safe from harm?
Is this real?
I start to cry. I start to cry and sob and then scream in pain. Both the pain from my son dying within my womb and the pain as another contraction goes through my body. Peeta's arms wrap around my chest and he holds me tight as I cry out in pain. I can hear Peeta's sobs from behind me and I feel so guilty because I have, yet again made my Peeta cry. I grab hold of Peeta's arms with my own and I hold onto them tightly, hiding my head into the crook of his neck. My face is stained with tears and so is Peeta's. I can feel his tears dropping onto my face as we both cry for our miscarriage.
Wait! Maybe the one that-that that… passed was the one with the possible blindness? Maybe we still have one functioning baby on the way. For a few minutes, I completely forgot about the other twin.
"Adriana?!" I ask rushed as I bolt upright so I can see her.
"Was… that-that one the one that had the possible blindness?" I ask hurriedly.
"Let me… just check…" She answers, moving the wand around again.
After a few moments- that felt like hours, she gives us yet again more horrible news.
"I'm sorry, but the one still… alive is the one with the possible blindness."
I cry again and it's even worse this time. I have killed one of my sons and the other still has the possibility of being blind. I am a horrible mother! I was a killer years ago and now I still am. I am still killing children. I am killing my own children! I'm a horrible person and I deserve to die. I don't deserve someone like Peeta. I don't. He deserves someone that will give him as many children as he wants and doesn't kill them. He doesn't need me. I am a killer and I will always be a killer.
"If you don't want to know anything else, I will leave you alone for a while. There is still a long time until you will need to push, so I will come back later. Alright?"
I nod, not being able to form words right now.
"I am truly sorry, Katniss and Peeta. I really am! If you want me, just hit that button." Adriana says before she leaves us alone.
"I'll leave too if you want. The others should be getting her soon and I think that I should see them." My mother explains a few minutes after Adriana has left.
I nod again.
"Do you want me to tell them? Because I won't if you don't want me too." She says.
"Just… tell them." I say, barely a whisper.
"Okay, I'll be back in a while." She says before walking out, leaving Peeta and I alone.
"Peeta…" I start.
"Katniss, don't you dare. Please! Don't! Don't you dare blame this on yourself! Don't…"
"But I did, Peeta! I did this! I killed our child! I am the only one that could have done this! First I made our child possibly blind and now the other is dead! I did this to them! You didn't! I did! There is no one else to blame but…" My ranting is cut short because of more contractions.
I cry out and I hold onto my stomach. It lasts a good minute before I can go back to more crying and arguing.
"You know, I always thought Haymitch was an asshole during the Games and everything leading up to it, but he is so wise and all that. He told me that I could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve you! And do you know what, he was right! I don't deserve you! All I have ever done to you is broken your heart, made you cry, you don't need me. You don't deserve me like I don't deserve you! You should leave me and go and find someone that can make you happy, give you all the children you want and to not kill them! I've killed children before in the Games and now, since they are gone, I am killing my own children…"
"Stop it right there!" Peeta roars.
He moves from behind me and he gets off the bed. He then walks to the other end and slams his hands down on the railing on the side, his wedding band clinking with the metal-to-metal contact.
"Don't you ever talk like that to me again! Don't you ever! You're right, Haymitch was an asshole during the Games, but do you know what… He saved us. Mainly you! Don't ever say that you don't deserve me, you are all that I need and you are all that I want. I love you more than… everything! You may have broken my heart and made me cry, but do you know what, it's just made me realise how much I need you and how much more I love you! I could not go out into the world, leaving you behind to find another woman who will make me happy and have all my children!"
Peeta stops, catches his breath and then wipes away tears that have fallen onto his cheeks and he continues again.
"First, I will never- not in a million year and not for a million dollars- leave you for another woman. You make me happy, you make me laugh, you make me find another reason every day for why I love you! I don't want anyone else to have my children! I want you to have my children, even if that comes with its costs. We are both broken and you said that yourself, so if having children comes with prices like what we have, so be it! We will always find a way to make it better. Miscarriages happen and you know that! It happens to us when we don't want them too."
"My mother went through three after she had me and she blamed me for that! She always wanted a little girl, but she never got one and blamed me for it! You think I am going to deal with this miscarriage easy, because you are so wrong! My mother made me feel so guilty over it for years that just thinking about someone miscarrying their child make me feel guilty! We can't both blame ourselves, okay! We can't! I hate this! I hate having fights like this! If you still want to argue about this, do it after this is over because all I care about is getting that one baby out safe and sound!"
I've never seen Peeta this emotional in his life! I've never seen him so angry and then cry, then angry and then forgiving and crying.
"Please, Katniss. Don't blame yourself. Don't make this time harder on yourself. Some babies are just not strong enough you know. Let's just say that's what our baby was, alright? When they're both out, we will order the eyes for the remaining one if he needs them and then we will have a funeral for the other one. Alright? We can bury him next to Prim in the meadow. Is that a good idea? Do you think that will put our son to peace along with your sister?"
I start to cry even more at the idea and at Peeta's revelations. I'm about to answer him and then another contraction works its way through my body. Instead of crying out, I just clench my jaw together and I just make wheezing noises. It soon passes and then I wave Peeta back over to me. He comes to my side and I pull his lips down to mine, sharing a kiss that speaks many words that I cannot say, since my actions have always been better than words. I break away and then I wrap my arms around his neck and he sits next to me on the bed and he wraps his arms around me tightly.
"I love you, okay. And nothing in the whole world will change that. I love you and I will never leave you for another woman. I love you. I love you. I love you!" He whispers into my ear.
This makes me cry more and I bury my head in the crook of his neck more.
"I'm sorry for everything I said. I love you more than my own life. I love you, Peeta." I whisper between sobs.
He pulls his head back and he kisses my head a few times before nestling it in my shoulder again. I wished that we could stay like that forever, but after a while of just holding each other, I get another contraction and I have to pull away and Peeta grabs my hand and I squeeze it as hard as I need again. It comes to be over again and Peeta kisses my fore head and stays next to me the whole time.
A few minutes after that happened, my mother comes back in and stays. She explains that she told everyone what happened and all they wanted to do was come in and comfort me, but my mother didn't let them because she just wants me focused on getting the babies out. Adriana came in about an hour after my mother's reappearance and then stays by my side. Within two hours, I am fully dilated and couldn't be anymore ready to start pushing. Adriana informs me that the first one to come out is the stillborn and it hurts just thinking I am giving birth to my dead child, but I can't let that stop me from delivering two babies. The next contraction comes and I start pushing and god, it was worse this time around.
"Okay, Katniss. That was great. Just a few more like that and he's out, right?"
I nod and I push my head back to the pillow, hoping to catch more air before the next one comes. My mother stands on one side of me and rubs my shoulder whilst pushing the loose strands of hair from my face. Peeta sits on the other side, kissing my head, holding my hand and my other shoulder, whilst rubbing circles into it.
"It's going to be okay, baby. Alright. I promise. However everything turns out, we will deal with it! I'm so proud of you! I love you so much!" He says, pressing his lips to mine quickly.
"We will deal with it. We still have Willow after all. I love you too!" I say quickly.
"Wait! The boy with the brown hair was going to be Hunter right? And the blonde haired boy, Ash?" I ask hurriedly, knowing my next contraction is seconds away.
"Yes. They both have blonde hair or brown hair, we will have to figure it out when we meet them." Peeta answers.
"Yes. I love you." I say to him.
I have my few contractions that are as painful as the first, but I push and push until Adrian tells me the next one is the last one. The next contraction comes and I scream out in pain as I push and push and push. As I scream, trying to push out my stillborn child, I can hear Peeta start to cry again. Soon I feel the body leave mine and I drop my head back to the pillow. It feels like something is missing right now. All this moment needs is the shrill cry of our child, but we all know that isn't going to happen from this one. I lift my head from the pillow to get a glimpse of our child, but Adriana whisks him off to another room before we can see him, well me.
"He had your hair." Peeta whispers.
"So that is probably Hunter?" I ask.
He nods and then places his head on my shoulder, I then rest my head onto his and tears start to build again, before they fall to my cheeks. I can feel his tears straining my gown and I don't care. I know we are going to be crying over Hunter's death for years to come.
I get a contraction which causes Peeta to pull back, with red and swollen eyes. I cry out again and Peeta holds a tight grip on my shoulder and hand and it's reassuring. It's over as soon as it came, but it was still one of the most painful.
"Mum, will we be able to hold him? Hunter?" I ask, only now remembering she was here.
"Yes, darling. They just need to check up on a few things and then you can hold him." She answers.
"Do you need to push on the next contraction?" She asks.
I nod quickly, feeling the build-up and my mother rushes to the other side of the room. She grabs a pair of gloves, puts them on and then goes to the end of the bed. Next thing I know, I am pushing again and it's a little easier. It's then over again and Peeta brushes my hair from my face and rubs little circles into my shoulder, it's calming.
Adriana comes in after another three pushes, baring our child in her arms, wrapped in a blue blanket.
"I just checked everything out on him." She explains, coming over to us.
"Who wants to hold him first?"
"Peeta can." I state.
Peeta looks back at me cautiously and then I nod to him before Adriana is placing our baby in his arms. Peeta looks so scared as he holds onto him, looking down to him.
"What colour eyes does he have?" I ask quietly.
"Grey. Not a bad grey, they are a peaceful grey." Adriana answers.
I nod and then I just watch Peeta as he holds our stillborn child. Peeta is closely studying all of his features and then more tears come down his cheeks.
"He could be sleeping." Peeta whispers.
"Katniss, your next contraction is about to start." My mother warns me.
I take a deep breath and then the next thing I know, Peeta's grabbed onto one of my hands as he holds our baby in his other arm, securely. It then starts and I scream, pant, gasp, everything as I push.
"One more after this and that's it. Except that one to push the other things out." My mother explains.
I nod and I fall back to the bed, knowing that I am going to only have a few minutes of peace.
"Hold out your arms." Peeta tells me.
"What? No. You hold him, I'm okay." I say.
Before I can argue anymore, Peeta is pushing our baby into my arms. I look down to him and I cannot help but start crying again. The tears pouring from my eyes as I realise what Peeta said was correct, it looks as if he is just in a deep sleep. In a world, he could be. He is in a sleep that he will never awaken from. His whole face is structured like Peeta's, except for the features- brown hair and grey eyes. I already want him to just wake up so we can hear his cry, I want to see his eyes flutter open, I want him to see the world that I brought him into that is free from the Games and everything Peeta and I went through. I know that it's impossible and that's enough to set me off again.
"Katniss, I'll hold him. Your last contraction is about to start again." My mother says holding her arms out.
I carefully place him in her arms, still feeling like if I touch him wrong it will hurt him. She walks away with him, looking down to him.
"When this one is born, the first thing you are going to check is if they are blind! Okay?" I ask angrily.
Damn moods swings still happening even when I am about to birth my second child today.
"Of course, Katniss." Adriana starts
"Okay, Katniss. The last one in…" She says again
Peeta grabs my hand wraps his other arm around my shoulders.
"… Three… Two… One!"
I push the hardest I have before and Adriana and Peeta are telling me encouraging things and it kind of helps, but I can barely hear them over my screaming. Soon I am stopped by the small cry of my other son I just birthed. I stay sitting up so I can see him before Adriana whisk him away. I see his small limbs flying everywhere as his cry still continues. Adriana stands up and then I see my husband's blonde hair on our child. His name on my tongue before I say it, I hear it from Peeta's lips and not my own. Adriana then takes Ash into the room she previously took Hunter and we are alone again.
"Mum, can you pass Hunter to Peeta, please?"
My mother walks to the other side of the room and she places him in his arms.
"He's really beautiful." My mother says.
"I know." Peeta answers.
"So, how long do you want to have with him until you bury him?" My mother asks.
"As long as we can." I answer.
"That will only be a few days." She says.
"Well if that's all we get, then we will take it." I state.
"Hunter Lukiah Mellark. Born- 26th January 2116. Death- 26th January 2116. Loved much by everyone that knew of him." Peeta whispers.
He leans down and kisses Hunter's little head and then he holds him to his chest.
Adriana comes in the next minute and confirms our little Ash is blind. As soon as Peeta has a spare second, he is going to be contacting Beetee and informing him of the order to get eyes for our boy. We thought that was all the bad luck we could get in that time span of three hours, but no. We only have at least a month with Ash. He has developed a condition that will kill him before March begins. Both my little boys, taken from us too soon.
My name is Katniss Mellark.
I am married to Peeta Mellark.
My home is District 12.
We live here with our family.
We birthed a daughter almost two years ago.
She is the most perfect thing in the world.
I just gave birth to my two sons.
One already dead from my womb and the other to die within the next month.
My little boys taken too soon.
The one still alive has blindness and we are planning to get him eyes before he passes, but no one thinks that it is going to happen.
All I wanted is for my children to grow up in a world where they didn't have to hunt for their own food.
Didn't have to trade thing for food and money.
To not have to be possibly reaped at the age of 12 through to 18.
Peeta and I made that possible, but things in our life couldn't be any worse.
Our children are dying.
Our hearts are breaking.
Nothing can compare to the pain Peeta and I feel.
Nothing in the whole world knows what we are going through.
I hate this and so does he.
I want it over.
I want it to be safe for our children to be born and to grow up safely and happily, but that's not going to happen for our sons.
They have already been taken from a world that they should have grown old in.
But, I suppose that's too much to ask for isn't it?
When my mother goes to grab everyone from the waiting room, I hold onto Ash and Peeta holds onto Hunter. Ash has yet to open his eyes and I don't know what to expect. Adriana asked if we wanted to know the colour, but I wanted our little boy to show us himself. Will I see grey orbs like myself and his brother? Will I see blue orbs like his father and sister? Will they look cloudy and dead? Will they look clear and full of hope? I don't know. I want him to have Peeta's and Willow's eyes. I find them so beautiful and I can easily get lost in them. Peeta and I both know that every moment that we are going to spend with our sons are going to have to be cherished to remember. We know we only have limited time with both of them, so we both know that every precious moment is a gift.
When my mother comes back with them, I burst into tears as soon as I lay eyes on them. Johanna comes over instantly and wraps her arms around me, allowing me to cry into her shoulder. She doesn't bother to try and calm me down because she knows that there is no words to form. She knows that everything is not okay and that I am not going to calm. After a while, my tears have dried and stopped for the time being and I pull back. I see Effie giving Peeta a big hug and I can almost hear his silent cries. There is no point to hold back the tears until we are alone because everyone around us understands what is happening to us. Jo and I then turn our attention to Ash who lays asleep in my arms.
"So, this is Ash?" She asks.
"Yeah." I breathe.
"Did you also hear about him?" I ask.
She nods.
"You deserved a lifetime with them." She starts off saying.
"Yeah, but we only have a few more days with Hunter and then a month with Ash. If that's all we can possibly get, I am fine with that. Somethings are just not to be." I answer.
"You are so strong, Katniss. We are all so proud of you, every single person in this room. Especially Peeta. I don't think that I could have gone through that. Giving birth to my child that I know isn't going to have a life outside of me. I couldn't do that!" Jo states.
"It was hard, I can definitely tell you that." I tell her weakly.
"Mummy!" I hear over everything else.
I look up and I see Haymitch holding an excited Willow in his arms. She doesn't seem to know that she will only know her brothers for the small amount of time we have.
"Put her on the bed, Haymitch." I direct.
He does as I ask and then Willow makes her way over to me. I don't need to tell her to sit on my lap, she understands that by herself. She makes herself comfortable her eyes settle on the bundle of blankets in my arms.
"Is this my bruther?" She asks.
"Yes, Willow. This is your little brother, Ash." I introduce her.
Willow extends her hand to the blanket and she smiles.
"Hewo Assh. I am your big sister." Willow states proudly.
She takes his hand into her bigger ones and his eyes flutter open at her touch, revealing his eyes the same colour as his sister and his father. They are full of peace and love at the touch of his sister.
"Peeta… Look." I say, grabbing his attention.
I hear him take in a deep breath and then he gasps as he lays his eyes on our sightless son.
"My eyes." He breathes.
"Assh look like Daddy!" Willow exclaims.
"He does, doesn't he?" I say.
"He really does." Haymitch agrees, no sarcasm that I was waiting for.
"Do you want to hold him, Willow? Do you want to hold your little brother?" I ask her.
"Yes peas, Mummy." She answers sweetly.
I carefully move my now asleep son into my daughters waiting arms. She has learnt how to sit and hold onto babies from holding onto Jason all the time. She is almost an expert at it. When Ash is settled into his sister's arms, I can see Willow's eyes looking ever so lovingly to her brother. Little does she know she won't be able to hold onto them both forever like I can see she wants too. Her time with them is limited, exactly like Peeta's and my time with our sons. I can already see she loves him with all her heart and that she always will. It breaks my heart to know that she will not grow old her brothers by her side, to protect each other when Peeta and I aren't around. It's splitting my heart in two, slowly and ever so painfully.
When we pry Ash from Willow, I pass him over to Johanna. Effie has already taken heaps of photos of us with them, yet I can tell she wants one with all of us, one big happy family. But I don't know how in the world she is going to make me happy for the photo. Gale comes over to me and hugs me the best he can without squashing Jason between us. He whispers things to me about being sorry, but I can tell that's all he can think about adding. It's all he can conjure up in his mind to say. When he goes over to Peeta, Sky and Effie come over and they try and comfort me the best they can, but nothing seems to work.
"Where's Unter?" Willow suddenly asks.
I look over to Peeta as Effie and Sky move away and he comes over and he sits beside me.
"Is that Unter?" She asks, looking to Hunter who lies in Peeta's arms.
"Yes, Willow. This is your other little brother, Hunter." Peeta states.
She cautiously looks over to him as Peeta moves the blankets so she can see him. After a little while of her studying him closely, she lets out a giggle.
"Unter look like Uncle Gale!" She exclaims.
I then laugh for the first time in hours as well as everyone else. We all look over to Gale and he is laughing too.
"It's only because your mother and I have the same features. You know, hair colour, eye colour… That type of thing." Gale states.
"Oh." She answers.
It still gets a laugh from us. My daughter has her father's incredible charm that can make me laugh, even in the darkest of times.
"Can I hold him, Daddy?" Willow asks.
"Yes, princess." He answers.
Peeta then carefully transfers Hunter from his arms to our daughter's awaiting arms. When he is laying in her arms, she can immediately sense that something is not right. She has these instincts that you cannot acquire from practice, these are the kind that you can only be born with. She inherited this from Haymitch. He is the only person in our bloodline that could have given this to our daughter. He always sensed things around us and with everyone and now he has given that to our daughter.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, princess."
"What's wrong with Unter?"
How does she come to realise these things? Is it like Prim's healer instincts? My hunter genes? Peeta's baking and painting skills? I don't have a clue. I have no idea how to answer a question like that. Maybe we should just tell her the truth about everything. About Finnick's and Prim's death on that train close a year ago. Ash's condition and Hunter stillbirth. Is she too young to know the truth? Will she be able to handle it? Has she already realised it? Again, I don't know.
"Peeta, should we just tell her about them? All of them?" I ask.
"If you want." He states.
"It might make it easier for her." I reply.
"Daddy?" Willow asks, more confusion in her voice than before.
Peeta and I tell her about everything. About Finnick and Prim being dead. About Hunter already being dead and Ash to soon be with them. I am staying strong for Willow as we tell her, but she can see I am hurting inside and the same with Peeta. She passes Hunter to Peeta and then he passes him to Haymitch. Willow then stands up on my legs and she wraps her arms around my neck. Just that one simple gesture sent me into another sobbing mess. Peeta soon wraps his arms around me and Willow and he joins my sobs. We are a family of broken people. Every single one of us in a different way. It's not something that should be common in my world, but we are all the same and that's what makes us family. We understand just the little things that makes another family member sad and that's a thing that you can carry with you for life.
We have not done anything to elaborate for the two days that we have been stuck in hospital, nothing at all. Today is the day that we are going to be burying Hunter and I cannot think about how I am going to say goodbye to him. Effie has got everything all set up and ready for Hunter's funeral. Peeta a beautiful big wooden box he was going to give me for my birthday with remarkable patterns and designed engraved into it, but he wanted to have it as what Hunter will be buried in and I couldn't agree more. It's the perfect size for him and it's lined with beautiful golden silk that Gale got lined and stuffed with. It couldn't be more perfect for our boy to be buried in.
Ash has been proven to want and need more attention than what Willow wanted at his age. He cries all through the night. He sleeps for only a few hours. Despite my attention seeming to be spend looking after him, Peeta and I couldn't be more happy to do it. We know that he will only be with us for such a little time, so we are fine with him taking up all our time. I haven't got a lot of sleep in the last three days. They have been painful nights that are either spent- listening to Ash cry and scream, falling into short sleeps that contain the most horrific nightmares that I could possibly conjure up in my head or staying awake crying because I cannot deal with this anymore. I can't deal with knowing that so many I love are dying. My father all those years ago. My best friend- Finnick. My precious little duck- Prim. My beautiful sons- Hunter and Ash. I just can't! I want out! I can't do this anymore!
We arrive home with everything from the hospital. I don't have to be there anymore and Ash has got all the medications that we need to give to him so his days are not spent in pain, but him being happy. Peeta holds onto Ash and I hold onto Hunter, not ever wanting to let him go and Willow stands next to me. When we get inside, Peeta goes up and puts Ash into bed so we can get ready and Willow goes walking up with him, I know is was going to follow him into her room where she will play with her toys before we well her that we are leaving. I then potter around downstairs with Hunter and then I get an idea.
"Hunter, this is your house. I am so sorry that you never got to see it or anything, but I am going to give you a tour around just so you know your way around the house." I say.
I walk into the kitchen and I start to move around slowly.
"This is the kitchen. Your daddy would teach you how to bake and cook in here. I can tell how messy the room would get from you and Ash making pancakes for Willow's birthday. You would get it on the roof and in the cupboards and I wouldn't even care because I would have loved the thought you put into it." I say walking from the kitchen to the living room.
"We would have dinner in here every night, you going from sitting in a highchair to a normal chair and your innocent face would peer over the table after you got caught feeding your broccoli to Buttercup. You, Willow and Ash would play cubby houses under the table, covering it over with blankets and then falling asleep for your father and I to find you at night and then come in and join you." I say running my spare hand across the dining room table.
I walk slowly into the lounge room, holding a firm and assuring grip on my lifeless son in my arms.
"You and Ash would make a big mess in here every day because of all your toy cars and blocks. Your father and I would have to clean it all up when you were asleep for you to both unpack it all again, starting a rotation of packing away, getting out, picking it out and everything. We would teach you to walk in here and to talk. You would play with Finn and Jason when they came over." I say, kissing his head. I then head upstairs, telling him about how he would fall down and they would push each other down the stairs.
I make my way to his room and Ash's where Ash is asleep in his crib with different coloured blues and wood carved patterns and little painted pictures, done by my creative husband of course. The painted walls bring back a lot of memories from when Peeta was painting them. I brought in- no Peeta brought in, a rocking chair and I sat in it while he painted. I rocked back and forth, Willow sitting on my lap and then walking to Peeta and putting her hands in the paint before coming back to me and staining my clothes with blue, red, yellow and green paints. I didn't get angry at her for ruining my clothing because I loved her too much to care and we had Cinna to make us new clothes. This room carries a lot of memories and I know that after they are both gone, I will not be able to step a foot in here because I will just want to burst into tears because of my children that have died.
"This is your room, Hunter. You will sleep here and Ash will sleep here. I can see you both running around and bashing holes in the walls from throwing something. The nights your father and I will spend in this room nursing you both to sleep. This is where you will hide yourself when you are scared of something. This will be the place where you are safe from harm. This is the place where I love you." I sing the last line which I didn't even purposely say.
I turn around, going to walk into Willow's room when I see Peeta standing there. He wears a white dress shirt and a black suit with a black button up jacket over that.
"Katniss, go and get ready." Peeta says calmly.
"No, I'm showing him around. Let me just…"
"Katniss. Stop." Peeta says softly, coming up to me and hugging me.
"I want to show him everything." I say, more tears coming into my eyes.
"I know, but the funeral is soon and we need leave for the meadow in a few minutes because it'll take a good twenty minutes to get there." Peeta states.
"Let me just…"
"Go and get dressed now and you can after." He says sternly.
"Peeta… I feel like if I let him go, I will let him go forever." I say.
Peeta sighs and wipes away the tears that fell from my eyes.
"I know. I know." He says, bringing me into his arms, kissing my head.
"I don't want him to go." I sob into Peeta's chest.
"I don't want to him to go either, but we have too. You know that. We have had him for longer than what other people have. We are going to give him a good farewell soon. Promise."
I nod into his chest and then he pulls me back and holds my shoulders.
"I'll hold onto him and stay in our room and you can get changed, so you know where he is when you are changing. Does that sound alright?" He asks.
I nod and then I pass Hunter over to Peeta and we walk to our bedroom.
I'm standing in my wardrobe, my eyes glazing over every piece of clothing as I try and find the dress that I am thinking about.
"Come on, where are you?" I ask the clothes in frustration.
"Where's what?" I hear Peeta ask.
I must have said that louder than I thought.
"The dress I'm thinking about." I answer, kicking a box out of the way.
"Which one?" Peeta asks, now standing next to me looking as well.
"The black one with the straps that's…"
Peeta walks to one side of the wardrobe and pulls out the dress that I was thinking about.
"… knee high." I finish.
"How did you find that so easily?" I ask.
"I have an eye for beauty." He answers, kissing my fore head before walking back out to the bedroom.
When I've got the dress on, it shows my stomach. It's still big, but I knew it would take a few months to lose it. Hello, I was only carrying two babies in there a few days ago! Anyway, I grab a coat with a fluffy hood and some tights before making my way back into the bedroom. Peeta sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at Hunter admiring him as much and for as long as he can before he's put to rest. I sit next to him and then I put the tights on. I've never been a huge fan of tights, but because its winter and we are going to the meadow in the middle of the woods, it's better to have them on and to reduce the coldness of my legs. I have them on and the jacket on and then I stand up and so does Peeta. Peeta passes Hunter back to me and then Peeta goes and gets Ash and Willow before we leave or the meadow.
We arrive at the meadow and everyone is here- Haymitch, Effie, Sky, Johanna, Gale, Jason, my mother, Annie and Finn. Annie and Finn flew in this morning because of the funeral and so they can meet both Hunter and Ash. Everyone spots us and then they sadly smile as we approach them. Annie comes rushing up to me and at this point I have spot the place where Hunter is going to be buried, next to Prim and I have already started to cry. Annie wraps her arms around me and we stand there for a while, she holds onto me while I cry into her shoulder. After a while, she pulls away and then lays her eyes on Hunter who is in my arms.
"He's beautiful, Katniss. You did a great job." Annie says softly.
"He is beautiful." I say, running my finger over his cheek.
"He has the same features as Gale." She says, looking back to Gale.
"Willow said the same thing." I say with a genuine smile.
"It's the whole Seam look. My father looked like me." I say.
"I bet he did otherwise you would have been a very muddled up child if he looked like Wendy." Annie says with a soft laugh.
I give a small laugh and then she stands back as Gale approaches us.
"I'll go and say hello to Ash." She says before kissing my cheek and walking off to Peeta who is standing with Haymitch and Effie.
Gale and Johanna who is holding Jason come and stand in front of me.
"Are you and Peeta ready to let him go?" Gale asks genuinely.
"No. But I know that our time with him is up." I answer honestly.
"Come here." He says opening his arms.
I walk into them and they give me a big friendly reassurance that everything will eventually be okay, it all just needs time. I stand in his embrace for a while, before I pull away and Johanna gives me a strong one-armed hug.
"Katniss, I think it's time." Haymitch says above everyone.
I start to nod and I start to walk over to the rest of them, tears in my eyes before I stop in my tracks.
"Can I say a goodbye to him first?" I ask.
"Of course." Haymitch says.
"Thanks. Peeta, you can after too." I say, nodding in his direction.
He nods back before I walk backwards and to a big oak tree where I stand to say my final goodbye to my son.
"Well, Hunter… This is it. This is the last time that I will see you. I already miss you so bad, yet I am still holding onto you. This life has not been easy for me. I have dealt with so much death and I know that there is more to come. Everyone that has died around us has not gone in a way that they didn't know that we loved them- My father, Prim, Finnick, You and soon Ash… You all knew how much you meant to me. I love you so much, Hunter and I hope that you know that. I am so sorry that you never got to see your twin brother or your big sister or your father and I. All of us here in the Victors' Village love you will all their hearts and we all are going to miss you like we miss the spring in these horribly cold months. In many years from now, we will finally meet and I don't really know what to expect. I think that you are probably going to act like me, but will have some of your father's amazing traits that you would never inherit from me. I love you my little boy and I am going to miss you so much. I love you. I love you. I love you, Hunter. Always remember that." I finish up, tears streaming down my face. I kiss his head and then I rock him slightly before walking back to the others.
I pass Hunter over to Peeta as he passes Ash over to me. Willow walks with him as they both say a final goodbye before Hunter is put to rest. All three of them stand under the same Oak tree that I previously stood under and I watch as I see Peeta's lips moving as he stares down to Hunter. I can't help when more tears fall onto my cheeks as I watch them. Everyone notices myself crying again and then Haymitch comes over and he wraps his arms around me. I bury my head into his shoulder and I cry some more.
A few minutes later, I hear another lot of sniffling from someone I have heard cry a lot before. I lift my head up and I see Peeta standing next to me, tears down his red and swollen cheeks.
"Is it time?" I ask.
He gives a simple nod of the head and then we all walk around to the place where my baby boy will lay for the rest of our lives. There is a hole in the ground that is surrounded by hundreds of different flowers, a tomb stone with the following written-
Hunter Lukiah Mellark
Born- 26th January 2116
Death- 26th January 2116
The beloved son of Katniss and Peeta Mellark
Loved by sister- Willow Mellark
Loved by everyone that knew of him, especially the family that would have surrounded him his whole life- The Abernathy's, Hawthorne's and Odair's.
Here lays the Star-Crossed Lovers first born son, taken too quickly from a world that his family made safe for him to live, surrounded by his loved ones.
Never to be forgotten
It brings tears to my eyes to read such a thing, knowing that Gale was the one to carve it into the stone that lays in the ground by Hunter's grave. The box that he will be placed in is in Gale's hands and he comes over to us and Peeta carefully lifts him to his face, kisses his fore head and then I do the same. Peeta then places Hunter in the box and we all watch as Gale shuts the box, making our sights of our on, disappear forever. His olive dark skin that grew to lose its colour in the days that we had with him, never to be seen again. His Seam grey eyes that we never saw personally, only told what colour they were. His little body, smaller than his twin brother- Ash who will soon be with his brother so they can cause all kind of mischief together. My baby boy, gone forever.
Gale sits the box, with Hunter curved into the lid- by Peeta of course, into the hole and we stand in silence as we know it's the last time we will ever see the box.
Gale starts off by saying a few things and then so does Haymitch. It goes around until everyone but Peeta and I have said something, even little Finn said a few things about him wants Ash and Hunter to play with him when they got older. It was sad to watch, the whole thing was to be honest.
"I love you, Unter. I sad we never played together." Willow finishes up.
I cough to try and compose myself so I can say a few simple words, but it just causes me to cry harder. Peeta's arm is wrapped around my shoulders and he is crying more silently than myself beside me.
"I'll go first if you want?" Peeta says.
I nod, not being about to form words right about now.
"Okay." He answers.
He takes a deep breath and then he starts.
"Hunter Lukiah Mellark. You were named after what your mother and best friend were, hunters. They loved it and your mummy and I both loved the name and it would only have suited you. Now, Lukiah was my father's name and let me tell you, you couldn't have possibly had been named after a more amazing man. My father was always so kind and thoughtful- where I must have got that from." He coughs a bit to loosen up his throat before continuing to talk again.
"If we ever met you and he was still here along with your real uncles and aunties and your grandparents, you would have loved them all. You would have loved all of us here in the Victors' Village, almost as much as we love you. I am not the first and only person to say that we would have loved to meet you and loved to know you, but obviously the tables have turned the wrong way, again. As my first born son, I couldn't be more proud of you. You and your brother helped your mummy through some of our hardest times and yet. I know that you will both be angels on our shoulders for years to come. We miss you so much and we will come and visit you as much as we can. I love you my son. My little Hunter. We miss you!"
Peeta has tears streaming down his face, as we all and it makes my heart break into little pieces. When Peeta cries, it makes me want to cry three times as hard if I am already crying or to start. How a simple thing he does has a huge reaction on myself. He bends down and picks up Willow, cuddling her to his chest.
"Katniss…?" Haymitch says, indicating it my turn to talk.
"I can't… I can't do this! I can't…"
I turn to Gale who was next to me and I pass him Ash and then I run. I can't do this! I can't! I hear Peeta calling out my name, but I can't turn back. I run deep into the woods where I know that no one will find me. I run for what seems like hours and I come across a little opening that is beautiful. I see this huge tree and it looks hundreds of years old. I walk to behind it and then I slide down the big trunk until I am sitting on the cold forest floor. I then do what I have been doing for three days- cry. I can't do this anymore. I can't! I just can't!
Author's Note-
Hey guys, so I just finished this chapter this morning and I thought- WHAT THE HECK?! You guys deserve a chapter because you guys are the best fans a fangirl could ever have! I would like to thank- (Guest) Kat again, who without fail, reviews every chapter and makes my day! You always give what makes me so happy in a review! THANK YOU KAT! (Sorry, but I find it very ironic that your name is everlark_4ever_ and Kat and mine is Kat (Katarina) and everlark4ever75! We are quite similar! Sorry, but that's how my brain works!) Also, ( Guest) Isabela- You made my absolute day when you reviewed! You made my brain start to function into a world where I can create stories. You inspired me to recreate a story that was deleted in the middle of the year, now it's better than the original! I ill let all you known how that all goes too!
I'm sorry about what i have done with the fanfiction, but as i have said on numeral occasions lately- I have been planning this ending since Fight til the End! I'm sorry for another cliffhanger, but I am like that! It was sad to write believe me (A few tear were shed), but it had to happen for this fanfiction to work in my favour! Some of you said that you saw the first death coming, but I doubt you saw the second! Tell me everything that you thought about this chapter PLEASE! I would really appreciate it! I know I am mean, but please let your anger out on me and now your loved ones! PLEASEREVIEW! I'M SORRY! PLEASE REVIEW! Love you guys so much, thank you for all your support, everlark4ever75! Xox
P.S- Changed the date from 2115 to 2116. I stuffed up my whole calendar and my plannings for the births of other children in the fanfic. Was that a spoiler for you guys?! Oh well!