A/n: sexyish bits between **** and ****, though heavily edited, but in case you want to skip it.

Two weeks passed and, though Ben hadn't woken up, his vitals had improved. His Knights had left, which surprised Rey. The two intimidating women had hovered for days before finally announcing that they had commitments that could not be ignored any longer.

It had made Rey a little sad. Was Ben so alone in the First Order that even his own people didn't care whether he lived or died? Still, the petite one—Vadon—had given Rey a cryptic message about how she was on the right path and not to lose her resolve.

The women never took off their masks as they stood vigil, and Rey assumed it was to preserve their anonymity which was smart. There was a fragile kind of truth that existed, for the moment, but some remaining members of the Resistance weren't so eager to forget how Kylo Ren had fought and "killed" Luke Skywalker on Crait—especially Poe.

Never mind Han... Or what the First Order did to the Hosnian system...

But she'd worry about what would come next after Ben was awake. As it was, Rey was dozing when that familiar sensation tingled through her being. Her head snapped up, and she found herself looking into the highly sedated and somewhat bloodshot eyes of Ben Solo.

He blinked at her as if he didn't quite believe what his eyes were seeing. "Am I dead?"

Rey let out a choked sob. "No. Almost, but no."

Ben looked around the room warily. "Where the hell am I?"

Wiping her tears away, Rey replied, "Cloud City—Bespin. Your Uncle granted your Knights passage and, well, they left you with me."

Uncle... Lando?

Yeah, he's been pretty worried about you. Also kind of pissed, but mostly worried. And your mother... And others...

Though Chewie had remained a little distant, Rey could tell from his hovering that the Wookiee was concerned about Ben. Rey wondered how much longer Chewie would remain with them and whether he wanted to go back to Kashyyyk to be with his family. But she could worry about that later.

"Mother...," Ben said with a sigh.

Is she here? Are you here? Is this real?

"It's real, Ben," Rey said while reaching out and grasping his big hand with hers.

His hand felt thinner, and his skin was almost translucent from the weeks of being sick. That worried Rey, but now that he was alive, he could really start to get better—right? Except...

Ben... Are you okay?

Ben gave her an uncharacteristically huge smile. "Better than okay, sweetheart!" he drawled.

I know, Rey. I understand now. The way forward isn't about the Resistance or the First Order—it's about us and bringing balance, not order through obedience.

And it only took a near-death experience for you to have this realization? Rey thought with a little squeeze from her hand.

Ben grumbled softly as his hand tightened around her own. "I had it before I left, but I thought I could impact a change from within. Hux meddled with that plan. But my Knights, he underestimated them. They uncovered a plot among the ranking officers—Rey, they want Hux gone. His leadership is a liability, even to those who consider themselves loyal to the First Order."

"Your mother, she needs to know this...," Rey started, but Ben wasn't interested in talking about his mother, it seemed.

"Does she know how beautiful you are?" he said, and Rey realized that he might be a little more out of it than she'd anticipated.

"I don't know that your mother is concerned with my appearance, Ben," she replied with a little laugh.

Still, he wasn't going to be deterred from his adoration. Rey, do you know that in this light, you look like a goddess. You glow with warmth. I love you so much.

Rey was more than aware that Ben was highly sedated, but her heart was warmed by his vulnerability and sweetness.

I think you might benefit from being drugged more often, Rey mused and, surprisingly, Ben let out a little laugh.

Maybe. I always feel like I'm drugged when I'm with you...

Rey stared at him. Looked at that beautiful, strange face that she'd come to love. Mapped the freckles of his face and neck with her eyes before stalling on his lips. She'd been so worried for him, half-certain that she'd never get the chance to be with him like this again.

"Ben...," Rey started, but he shook his head and gently urged her up alongside where he lay.

It was a tight fit as Rey tried to maneuver herself without tugging on his IVs, but they made it work.

I love you. I am so sorry for making you worry...

Ben... Don't ever do that again, okay?

It wasn't exactly planned...

Well, how about you don't leave my side again, how about that?

Ben gave her a little half smirk as he angled his head closer. I'll see what I can do, scavenger.

Rey scrunched her nose but tilted her head up to meet his own. And when they kissed, it felt like the first time. She was as much inside of his head as he was hers and her heartfelt impossibly full.

Ben. Ben. Ben!

I'm here. I'm here. I'm here, he assured her.

I thought you were going to die at first, but I refused to believe it. The Force wouldn't let me go down that path, but I wasn't sure... not until your people brought you here.

She couldn't say the words out loud, didn't really trust her voice to communicate what she felt properly.

I thought I was going to die too, he admitted.

We need to work this out, Ben. I can't bear the thought of losing you again, she thought.

Her feelings were clear, determined—Rey wasn't going to take no for an answer and, to her surprise, Ben agreed.

I don't want to have to go through this life any longer without having you by my side. War solves nothing. We need to bring peace to the galaxy, but not with absolute control.

Rey tangled her fingers in his hair. "What are we going to do?"

We'll think of something. I'll talk to... my mother about it...

He didn't finish his thoughts, but Rey understood that he was thinking about all that still lay between them. Rey knew that Ben felt horribly for how things had turned out, but communicating that to Leia was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

She loves you so much, Ben. She was with me almost the entire time.

Rey's thoughts were concerned and Ben picked up on them.

How is her health?

Honestly? Not great. I'm worried for her, Ben. She gives all of herself to this cause... to everyone else. I don't know how much remains for just her.

She was always like that, even as a kid. She wouldn't stop unless my father made her, and sometimes, not even then.

Rey peppered kisses across the scar on Ben's shoulder. "She always loved you, Ben. Even when hope seemed to be lost, she never stopped loving you."

Rey knew that Snoke had tried to make Ben believe that there was no one in the galaxy that understood him better than he, no one that cared for him and his potential more, but it had been an ugly manipulation of a boy who had felt lost in a world of strange expectation.

The dark side of the Force had always been there, lingering within his mind the same way it did in hers except, with Rey, there'd been no parental guidance to tell her whether those dark feelings were good or bad—they simply were.

And that had made all the difference. Where Rey was able to hold a balance between both sides, Ben had been pushed further and further towards extremes. He'd made mistakes—great and terrible mistakes—but the resolution that was needed was from within himself.

Forgiveness had always been there—from Han, Leia, and even Luke. Now, Ben had to begin to forgive himself.

They lay for long moments, just basking in the simple joy of being together, until Ben took a look around, a confused expression passing over his face. "My mother is here? Where am I?"

Rey realized he was still groggy from the sedatives and, well, she hadn't exactly explained where he was. He must have been too far gone when his Knights had decided their course.

"Bespin. Your Knights brought you here," Rey answered, conveniently leaving out the part about the rest of the Resistance being there—what remained of it, anyway.

His Knights hadn't been very forthcoming with the details, but she'd managed to discern that there'd been a coup and they'd been able to retreat, though Ben had been badly wounded.

"Bespin. Uncle Lando?" he mumbled.

Rey nodded. "Yeah, he's pretty worried about you. Angry, but also worried. He's been watching over you these few weeks—and telling stories."

What kind of stories?

Ben's thought shimmered through their bond and Rey felt an immediate surge of relief. Though she'd felt incomplete without Ben's presence, she hadn't realized how good it would feel to have their connection back.

Embarrassing ones. Apparently, you liked to run around naked when you were a kid.

Ben let out a little croak, almost a laugh. If I recall, that preference for nudity doesn't seem to be a problem for you now.

Rey blushed. "You're the worst."

The med-bay was the last place they should be having this kind of conversation, and yet...

I thought I'd never get to see you again, let alone touch you, she admitted.

Everything about their connection was intense, including their physical desires. It was almost as if the bond between them amplified every emotion until, sometimes, it felt like they were a single unit.

Maybe it should have worried her, feeling so dependent upon him, but after a lifetime of only being able to count on herself, it felt nice to be able to have someone to share with. Except... Ben's thoughts turned to her, specifically what he wanted to do to her. Everything. In explicit detail.

Ben. You're still sedated, and you almost died. How can you even be considering that?

Ben groaned, shifting gingerly on the bed as he brought a hand up to play with her loose hair.

"You're going to rip out your IVs," she chided, even as she pressed into his clumsy touch.

It'd be worth it. Kriff, Rey, I'd do anything to make you happy. You're so beautiful and wonderful and I just love you so much.

Rey peeked up at Ben, sure enough, his eyes were glassy and heavy-lidded.

I think someone just got another dose of painkillers, she observed.

No, it just feels like I'm seeing clearly for the first time. Gods, Rey. I want you so badly. That little noise you make when you come. Oh, Maker, how you twist your hips when I fuck into you.

Rey let out a little gasp as his mind blended into her own again. Her blood pressure spiked as her body responded to the promise of his thoughts. She had to divert this—what if someone interrupted them?

Ben. You have to stop. I'm going to let you rest now because this is not going to help you recover.

Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey of light. Have I told you that? That you're a ray of light in my life. You always have been, you know... I felt you, long ago. And when I found you... It was like coming home.

"Ben, rest for me, okay?" Rey said while slipping off the side of the bed.

Ben seemed to instinctively reach for her, so she let her fingers thread with his as he continued to alternate between delirious visions of them together and drug-enhanced, sweet nothings.

Rey felt as if she was experiencing some of Ben's side effects, as if he was pulling her into himself with his power. She could see them together in her mind, but somehow it felt more like a vision and less like a fever-dream.

They were searching for something—answers, but mostly they were searching for ways to help others. Of course, that allowed for time alone together, which they also took advantage of. He was sweet in this vision, sweeter than even she'd come to expect him to be.

Somehow, this Ben was different from her Ben. Was this how he wished he was? Outside of the influence of Snoke or even the Jedi, was this what Ben Solo would have become? Rey felt that, in another time, in another place, or perhaps even the future, this was what Ben saw for himself.

And it nearly broke her heart.

This Ben, this vision, he laughed more. Smiled a lot. It made her heart ache for a moment and hope for a time where it could be true—where he could let go of the past and the pain and become this. And yet, she found that she also loved Ben as he was now. It was hard to relate to people sometimes; hard to relate when a person didn't grow up alone, or with hardship. It was a challenge for Rey to understand that their circumstances and understanding was different from her own. Not everyone was mired in pain and loneliness.

But Ben, Oh... Ben.

He completed her like no one else. She only hoped that she'd be able to draw out the happiness from within him and compliment it with her own.

The vision shifted to another time and place. Ben was whispering every lurid detail of what he wanted to do to her—how, where, when—and Rey was squirming while trying to keep her composure.

They weren't alone, not at all. They were in a Cantina.

Loud music was being played by an eclectic, non-humanoid band. Looked like Biths. They were fantastic, but Ben was distracting her from the sounds of the music. They were supposed to be negotiating with... she wasn't sure who, she only knew that they were important and also bored. A Mandalorian? Whoever they were, they were drunk and had apparently lost interest in whatever Ben and Rey had come to offer.

Ben, this isn't working!

Isn't it? he asked, as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

What are you? Oh...

Apparently, this Mando liked to watch and Rey found that maybe... she liked it too?

Oh. Oh dear.

Sweetheart, I'm going to make you say a lot more than that pretty quick, Ben assured her as his arms pulled her closer. She was practically in his lap at this point and Ben was—enjoying this? Taunting the Mandalorian?

"Gar're a tratur cuyir jate isirir, Solo," the Mandalorian rasped as his hands dipped lower and lower between the legs of the impossibly beautiful human female sprawled on his lap, her legs splayed over his own.

Ni ganar jate jate'kara megin ni ganar ibic dala's kar'taylir darasuum, Ben replied.

Rey knew only the most basic of Mandalorian, but she understood enough to know that she was being spoken about.

"How about you two come back a little later, eh? I'll give you and your little beauty what you're after, Jedi," the Mandalorian suggested as he picked up the woman and wrapped her around his front. Her hands were very obviously fishing through his pants though, apparently, they had no qualms about enjoying each other in public.

Rey felt the flush rise into her cheeks. She wasn't a prude, but this Mandalorian pushed at even her boundaries, still... the way Ben was looking at her was making her body pulse with need.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Ben said while pulling Rey to her feet.

"Ben where are we..." The words stopped dead on her lips at his heated look.

His eyes roamed over her body. He wanted Rey, badly, and he was going to get her.

Just like that, she was ready for him. Theirs was a raw and consuming kind of passion and she willingly gave herself over to that need.

"We'll be back," Ben called to the Mandalorian, though his eyes never left her own. In the low-light of the cantina, his irises looked inky-black, as if some dark power had possessed him and all that remained was his need.

She liked that too, like that she did this to him. Rey let Ben lead her to a dark alcove as they pawed at each other. It was wildly reckless, what they were doing. What if they got caught? But his lips were on her neck and her hands were on his chest, so it didn't seem that she minded so much.

It was lucky that she'd decided to wear a skirt, hoping that a more vampy-look would aid their quest. It had, maybe a little too well. Rey let her panties slide down around her legs as Ben dipped to snap up the scrap of clothing.

"Mine," he growled as Rey laughed.

****Rey's hand trailed low, skimming over the muscles of his abdomen before dipping lower.

With a tight squeeze of his body, Rey purred. "Mine. You've made me into something wicked," she chided as Ben backed her tight against the wall.

"But only for me," he whispered harshly against her lips. "You are mine, Rey. Say it."

"I'm yours, Ben. Oh... only yours!" she whined.

She was going to lose herself to this man, to this moment. There was no one else in the galaxy that made her feel the way Ben Solo did, no one in the galaxy that she'd let do this to her either.

He was the exception to every rule she'd thought she'd had, and she was his.

And Maker, he was so kriffing strong, and as if that knowledge didn't make her needy. She loved how powerful he was and how powerful he made her feel. Their bond pulsed between them, like an extension of the powerful and hauntingly erotic music.

If the galaxy collapsed on itself, and nothing remained save for the memory of this moment, it would be enough. No matter what, as long as they were together, it would be more than enough. Ben lifted a hand to his lips before giving an obscene suck to his thumb.

His hand dipped and sought out that hidden bundle of nerves between her thighs.

"Ben, Ben, Ben," she cried, the words almost a prayer from her lips.

She was close. So close! Just a little more and she'd come apart against the wall of a seedy cantina, neither of them willing to wait long enough to get somewhere more private.

Rey tugged his head hard towards hers and she captured his mouth in a fierce kiss that Ben returned with a groan. He loved it when she pressed just a little too hard, when their pleasure edged towards pain.

"Ben," she gasped against his lips. "Don't stop."

Ben locked eyes with Rey as he declared, "This is ours. This moment belongs to us and I will see it made manifest."

****It felt like he was speaking out of time and that, if she just wanted it badly enough, she'd realize her dreams. It was all so curious and strange until...

Rey blinked and snapped back into reality as her cheeks flushed. Whatever Ben had been thinking or dreaming about, he was out cold now. More than a dream, it felt like a memory—maybe of things yet to come? Rey bit her lip and resisted the temptation to think about Ben's illicit thoughts any further. They had more pressing matters at hand, his recovery, for one.

And there's still the little matter of what to tell your friends and everyone else.

Rey stared down at Ben as he slept. His dark eyelashes fanned against his pale skin; his lips were flushed red and cracked a little from his illness. He still looked a little sallow, but better. Definitely better were

Definitely going to live... But what is going to happen to him once everyone knows he's awake?

Rey wouldn't let anyone hurt him, no matter what Ben had done or who he was to them, but Rey against an angry mob would be some supremely shitty odds.

Maybe I can get Leia on my side, she mused as she took up her customary spot beside Ben. Hours passed and Rey woke again, head on Ben's bed, as Leia's familiar presence filled the room, except this time, Ben was awake for it.

"Hi, mom," his deep voice croaked as tears filled his eyes.

"Hi, Ben," Leia replied as a sad expression crossed her face.

There was so much pain and heartache between them both, but Rey knew that this would be the first step towards a reconciliation—and one that they needed to do privately. With a yawn, Rey stood and shuffled out of the way, even as Ben reached for her.

"Rey...," he called and her heart lurched.

The last thing she wanted was to leave, but this was Leia's son and they had more than a decade of feelings to work through.

"I'll be close," Rey promised before reaching out to give his hand a squeeze.

Leia looked on, a little stunned, but seemingly happy with how close her son was to Rey. As Rey turned to leave, Leia surprised her by reaching out and pulling her in for a tight hug.

"Thank you, Rey," she said, her raspy voice choked with emotion.

"Would that I could have done more sooner," Rey replied as she returned the hug.

Leia settled beside her son and Rey left as they started to speak to one another in low tones, Rey didn't really want to face what she knew was going to be a long and complicated conversation with her friends—and Poe. But she couldn't hide in the med-bay forever and they'd been kind enough to give her time to figure out whatever the hell it was she wanted to tell them.

Hi, yeah. Remember that guy who killed Han Solo, maimed Finn, attacked me, and just so happens to be the, well, former Supreme Leader of the galaxy? I love him. No, no. We share a mystical bond and I was able to determine that there's more to him than meets the eye—truly!

Rey sighed. It sounded ridiculous, even to her, but it was the truth. But the information Ben had given her could prove to be invaluable—dissension among the ranks was a great bit of news for the broken Resistance.

Maybe the answer was simpler than she realized. If the First Order couldn't even trust its own people, perhaps division would be easier to sow between them all than they'd thought.

Maybe there's hope for more people like Finn... Rey wondered as she slowly walked towards the mess hall.

For the first time in weeks, Rey felt hopeful, even if the future was uncertain. It would be hard and there was much to atone for, but Ben and Leia talking was an overdue step in the right direction and now, Rey had to do the same. It was time to face her friends and tell them the truth—all of it.

Hey all! Writing has been taking aaaaaaaaaaaaloooooooot out of me lately (blah blah chronic pain blah blah), but I'm trying to keep at it. This should be wrapped up innnn I think 2 chaps? Maybe 3, including epilogue? We'll see how it goes. I have to admit, I couldn't pass up the change to write slightly-sedated Ben lol. I imagine he'd be fucking adorable or like terrified at everything? One of the two. Adorable is more fun to write about. Tragedy on Bespin, tragedy on Bespin. I wonder, if you have the Force, do shitty situations manifest because of that connection to the will of the Force? Can you avoid them if you avoid the Force (was this an issue in KotOR 2?). I guess with Luke, it shows that, even if you cut out the Force, that bitch is always waiting in the shadows for you.

Is the Force good? Is it bad? Rebels kind of gets into this with Bendu (it just is), but lawd almighty, does it seem to fuck up circumstances for some people.

So there's some funky SW language translator online that gave me the Mando convo, so if it's wrong... I don't speak Mandolorian (UNFORTUNATELY) lol, so you'll have to forgive me.

Gar're a tratur cuyir jate isirir. You are a man of good taste, Solo.

Ni ganar jate jate'kara megin ni ganar ibic dala's kar'taylir darasuum. I have good luck that I have this woman's love.

Man, I love Star Wars lol.

Song title is a lyric from Florence + The Machine's new song June.

As ever, edited at **** to be in-line with this site's guidelines! But unedited (and sexier) over an Ao3.

At any rate, thank you all for your messages/comments/likes/follows/engagement I love you all and I so appreciate the time you spend reading this. I literally wouldn't write if it wasn't for you all.

Come visit me on Tumblr pacificwanderer. My inbox is always open if you need it. If you've enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend or leave a comment in the little box. Thanks again for all the kudos, subs, and the comments. I love to hear what you think and I absolutely appreciate all of the support (and I am absolutely fueled by it).