Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Just save me from being confused

-Carolina Liar

Ellie sat perfectly still on the edge of her bed, watching Noah sleep in peace. He looked angelic laying there in her bed, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. As she brushed his bangs to one side, the gleaming stone on her left hand caught her eye. She hadn't realized until the sun had already set that they missed their wedding. That fact didn't bother her nearly as much as she thought it would. They had all eternity to have the ceremony, which seemed superfluous now. He had already declared himself in so many ways that the vows they had planned on sharing seemed ridiculous.

She twisted the ring around and around on her finger. Noah had given up everything to be with her, and she felt as though nothing she could ever offer would be able to make up for that fact. She had wreaked so much havoc on his life. He deserved much better than what he had gotten. He had complained that he felt like a slave under Ephraim's command… but really, wasn't it she who was enslaving him? As long as she was around, he would be stuck in eternal limbo between his pack and her family. This was her fault.

And, incredibly, she found that she was crying. Not sobbing, but it was enough to send a few tears onto her quilt. Ellie felt pathetic, but she couldn't help it. She sandwiched the hand of Noah's uninjured arm between hers, and brought his hand up to her cheek. It was still as warm as a radiator, even if he was sound asleep.

Noah had yet to wake up from his injuries. Carlisle, concerned that Noah's elevated temperature would burn through the morphine, had been up to give him an injection every hour on the hour. If he had been a normal person, he would have overdosed long ago. Instead, he was simply knocked out by the painkiller, his breathing steady and deep. Carlisle said it would be best for Noah to sleep it off until at least the wounds on his torso had healed. They would be able to give a more accurate diagnosis and treatment when he woke up, but the amount of pain he would be in would be excruciating, and Noah would be able to heal the best if he was completely still throughout the whole process.

Being extremely cautious to not jostle the bed, she reached out one hand to place it on his bare chest. His heart was still beating, however feebly, and it was still in sync with her own. She sighed, and evaluated the pink skin on his body which was fading ever-so-slowly, blending in with the rest of his tanned skin bit by bit.

She couldn't help but remember the conversation she had with Ephraim a few months ago. He had said their relationship caused Noah pain in forcing him to choose sides. At the time, Ellie had brushed him off, assuming he was trying to be manipulative. But now, she truly considered what he was saying. It was true, and here was physical proof of the pain. As long as Noah was connected to his pack, they would never be able to live without their actions. As long as Noah was connected to her, he would never be able to have a relationship with his family on the reservation.

But at the same time, Ellie couldn't help but think that the power of what they felt for each other transcended all of that—made it irrelevant, unimportant. If the roles were switched, and it was her family that abhorred Noah, would she be able to choose sides? She realized, without a doubt, she would. And then, with a pang, she realized she would never be in that situation—her family loved her almost as unconditionally as Noah did, and they loved Noah, or at least tolerated him, simply because he loved her.

The hand she had resting in her lap twitched once, and her breath caught. She gently brushed the hair out of his face just as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes anxiously darted back and forth before resting on her face. He winced slightly, and Ellie's hand immediately flew out to the bottle of morphine resting on the nightstand.

"Should I call for Carlisle?"

He gave her a small smile, and slowly reached for her, pulling her onto his chest. "I'm fine for the moment." His voice was hoarse, and he closed his eyes again, taking in a ragged breath. With his good hand, he ran his fingers slowly through her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling like she could cry again.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, seeming to struggle as he tried to sit up on the pillows to look at her. She stopped him, and sat up herself instead. A concerned hand reached up for her cheek, which was wet. "Is everyone else okay?"

"Yes. But you're not," she said quietly, placing her small hand over his.

"I'll be fine," he said in a weak whisper. "You're here," he said simply.

"I'm sorry, Noah," she rushed. "I'm so, so sorry I did this to you."

He frowned. "Lenny, you did not do this to me," he said severely, and he winced again with the effort it took to speak. "Levi did this, Len, not you."

"But if I wasn't around, this would never have happened."

"Stop that," he said firmly, but broke off coughing.

Carlisle and Esme came in then, and Noah threw her a stern look. Ellie scooted over on the bed to give Carlisle room to examine him. Esme was carrying a pot of something liquid and steamy—soup of some kind, she realized with a swell of appreciation for her mother.

"How do you feel?" Carlisle asked Noah as he assessed the healing done.

"Like a train hit me, Doc," Noah said with a small smile.

"Well, it seems you're healing at good rate now. I'd like for you to stay in bed for the rest of the night, though. Try to sleep it off, and we'll see how you feel again in the morning." Carlisle reached to pull off Noah's bandages, but Noah's skin flinched automatically at his cold touch. Carlisle pulled his hands away and exchanged an apologetic look with him.

"I can do that, Carlisle," Ellie said quietly, taking over for her father. The skin was raw looking beneath the gauze, but the wounds had sealed, at least.

"Noah, all things considered, you're looking good. Like I said, tomorrow we'll have another look at you and see if we can take off the brace on your arm and leg. For the mean time, rest up and try to move as little as possible—I don't want to run the risk of your bones setting oddly."

"Thanks, Doc," Noah said with a grateful smile.

"Esme made some soup for you to try. It will be best if you have some food in your system, what with all the pain killers you're getting. But for now, until your body is completely back together, I would say stick to a liquid diet."

"I tried to touch it as little as possible," Esme explained, placing the pot she carried down on the nightstand, along with a bowl and spoon. Carlisle placed a bottle of pills and a glass of water beside it.

"Take one every hour for as long as you're in pain. If they don't work, we'll go back to the injections," he said.

"Thank you," Noah said to the both of them. "For everything. You don't have to do all this."

"Of course we do," Esme said, her brow furrowing. "You're part of the family, honey. And just to think that we were so responsible for putting you in this situation…" She trailed off with a shudder, and squeezed Ellie's shoulder.

"You're not at all," Noah said immediately. "I… Just... It means a lot to me, to have you take me in like this. If I ever overstay my welcome, just let me know."

"Nonsense," Carlisle said, wrapping his arm around Esme's shoulders.

"Get some rest, my dear," she said to Noah with a warm smile. With that, Carlisle and Esme left them again.

"They are incredible individuals," Noah said quietly as Ellie poured the soup into the bowl.

She nodded, and helped him sit upright on the pillows before helping him with the bowl, steadying it as he fed himself awkwardly with his left hand. When he finished the entire pot, Ellie handed him the glass of water and a white capsule.

"Tell me what you're thinking about," Noah insisted after swallowing the pill.

She watched his every expression and reaction as he spoke, and took a long time to answer. "You," she said softly, running a hand through his thick hair. "And what a good person you are."

"Go on." He had a hint of a smile on his face.

She sighed. "I'm thinking how upset I am that you were placed in this situation. You deserve better."

"It's not that bad," he said with another small smile. His good hand reached out for hers, and his thumb rubbed circles into her knuckle.

"Noah, did you ever think you'd be a lot happier with someone other than me?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes," Ellie whispered.

"No. Not ever." He smiled at her.

"Be serious."

"I am," he insisted. "Len, I thought you could see into my head and see how intense my feelings for you are. Normal love doesn't even begin to cover it. I am connected to you no matter what happens. I am here for you forever, no matter how you need me—as a husband, or a friend, or a protector of your own. I'm happy when you're happy; I'm sad when you're sad." He considered her for a moment. "Did you ever think you'd be happier with someone other than me?" He flipped her question back at her.

"No," she scoffed, offended. Then she sighed. "I'm so selfish," she bemoaned, staring out the windows at the first few stars that had begun to pop through the clouds.

"You're the least selfish person I've ever met."

"That's a shame," she shot back at him.

Noah chuckled softly. "Tell me how you think you're selfish."

She sighed again. "Because I know deep down in my heart that what is best for you is for me to leave you alone, to insist that you go back to whatever it was you were doing before I came around and messed everything up for you."

"I think you'd be surprised, then," Noah said, a smile still on his face. "Because deep down, you would be wrong. I can't even imagine what my life was like before I laid eyes on you in that meadow. I can't imagine being without you, Len. My life doesn't make sense without you in it. And if you think this—" he gestured to his injuries—"is bad, you aren't properly envisioning the kind of pain I would be in if we were apart."

"Me, too," Ellie agreed. "I would be in pain like that, too."

Noah smiled before closing his eyes, relaxing into the pillows. "Then let's not even consider that as a possibility," he suggested. "Let's stay focused on the future, on our life once this mess all blows over. Which it will," he said, squinting at her out of the corner of his eyes for emphasis.

"Okay," she agreed softly. She was still unable to squash the little nagging voice inside of her, but she found she could ignore it easily enough at Noah's insistence. He smiled at her and opened his eyes, which twinkled. She smiled in response, feeling that little voice lose its foothold as she stared into Noah's eyes. "How are you feeling now?"

"I feel fantastic, so long as you're beside me," he said earnestly.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're just loopy from the painkillers."

"Although," Noah said, ignoring her as he raised a finger in her direction. "Since I am bed-bound, I hope you know you are responsible for the entertainment."

Ellie looked around her room, searching for something to do. "I could read to you," she suggested.

"Not quite what I was hoping for, but I suppose that would do."

"Noah," Ellie scolded. "You're not supposed to move. Doctor's orders."

"I can't help it," he said seriously. "I am in the love of my life's bed. We are alone, for all intents and purposes. I can't be controlled."

She rolled her eyes again as she scanned her bookshelves.

"It's an illness, Len! I can't help it!" Noah continued, breaking into a big grin.

Noah fell asleep before the end of the first act of Romeo and Juliet. Ellie continued reading on as he slept, feeling reluctant to move from her position curled up at his side. She had read the story about a hundred times over the course of her life, but there was something about this time which made it resonate more with her, and she couldn't put the book down until she realized why this was. She had just started Act III when it hit her. Mercutio had been slain, and Romeo had just killed Tybalt in retaliation. She slammed the ancient text shut with the feeling of having been jolted awake by a bad dream when she realized how very much she could relate to the story line. Two star-crossed lovers brought to their demise by the enmity between their families… She tried to calm her nerves by looking at the familiar items around her room before her gaze came to rest on Noah's peacefully resting form. She watched his chest rise and fall gently for a few moments until the panic seizing her heart loosened its hold.

"I am fortune's fool," she whispered to herself before burrowing closer into Noah's side.