Chapter 12
Ed's POV
We were only a few inches apart. 'Why am I doing this?' I thought to myself while I was making this unreasonable action. 'Maybe, what if I didn't want to remember?' Our lips were about to touch, but I backed away at the last minute.
"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered and stood up. I wanted to leave as quickly as possible. I walked to the door, at a fast pace I might add. I had my hand on the doorknob, and was about to turn it.
"I'm sorry about that…" I paused to look at her, the blond girl who was called Winry. "And if anything else happens…" I tried to make a small joke, "blame it on the body memories."
She didn't look too amused, but her eyebrows were slightly raised. I quickly turned the knob ad stepped out into the hall. The door slammed behind me. I faintly heard sobbing from the other side of the door. I sigh heavily and looked at my right hand.
"What am I going to do now?" I put my hands over my eyes. I took a deep breath and continued to make my trek down the hall and into the kitchen. "If I can find the kitchen." I muttered to myself. I went down the stairs and looked around.
After a few minutes of meaningless wandering around, I managed to find the kitchen. There was a note on the table. I read it to myself, mumbling along the way.
"Ed-Went to go see Dr. Westing. Dinner's in the fridge. I won't be back until late, so you and Winry eat it at one point or another. Please try to get Winry to come down and eat, and don't make too much of a statement in front of her. She's still trying to get over some things you may not entirely understand yet. Love you lots, and I'll talk to you later. –Al."
I sighed again and looked at the clock. It was 4:30 in the afternoon.
"And he wants me to eat with her too? It's harder to get back into it after you've left." I grumbled. With what had just happened, it was if something extremely awkward had happened to you in a room, and you left that room. It'd be ten times harder to go back in after you left. I stumbled back up the stairs and was just wandering about the house. I managed to get the layout of the house pretty quickly. I even found a room that had all my stuff in it.
"So this is my room then?" I spoke to myself. I went to the dresser and pulled out some clean clothes. I went out of my room and back down to Winry's door.
"Uhm, I don't know if it's okay with you, but I'm going to use your shower." I spoke in a monotone voice to her. I didn't hear any response. "Where is it? Your shower?" I asked. This was embarrassing, asking someone you didn't know at all where his or her shower was, and if you could use it.
"Out back." And that's all I got out of her. "Okay… Thanks." I breathed.
I went downstairs and it ended up taking me about 10 minutes to find it, and then another 10 minutes to figure out how it worked. I probably could've been in and out already if I knew the house better. The water was cold, but I didn't mind. I let the cold water rush over my head. It felt as if all my thoughts were becoming more organized. I looked at my right hand and just stared at it intently.
"Dammit, why is this crap happening to me? Why am I the one to be blamed for making Winry depressed? For making Al upset that I forgot about the so-called 'person I loved.'" I pounded the side of the wall.
"How can I fix what I don't know I've broken." I put my head against the wall and sighed.
I suddenly had a sharp shooting pain in my head, like the one I had before, back when I was with Winry. I grasped my head and fell to the ground.
Images of being in the gate shot into my head. The same being that originally took my leg and arm was grinning at me and speaking. "You're only here because you have something you want." I kept holding my head. The pain wasn't subsiding at all. Another image of me kissing Winry came into my mind too. It was still very light out. There was a small bottle on the side table next to her bed, along with a glass of water.
My head suddenly stopped hurting and I was able to regain balance. The water was still pouring over my head. I sighed and turned it off. I took the towel and dried myself.
"I really wish I knew what was going on." I was really getting sick of this stuff. The painful head things, with the funky memories, and everyone being all depressed because of me.
I put my clean clothes on and started to walk back to the house, dabbing my hair dry. I knocked at the front door at first, but it took me a moment to remember that I was living here. I went on in and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was now much later than I had thought it was. I went back into the kitchen and pulled open the door of the fridge. I threw the wet towel over my shoulder and took out the big pan of food sitting on the top rack.
"This must be the dinner Al was talking about." I said to myself. I looked at it puzzled. "Now was this meant to be heated up, or eaten cold?" I sighed heavily. "That would have helped."
I grabbed a spoon and took a bite of it, when it was cold. A pleasant taste rang through my taste buds. I half-smiled. "Okay, I think this was meant to be cold… Al's a good cook anyway, so I'm sure this would have tasted good heated or cold." I spoke to myself again.
'Do I really talk to myself this much?' I thought in my head. I set the table and put the food out for two.
After all the preparations were done, I trekked up the stairs and to Winry's door. I knocked a few times. "Hello… Winry, can I come in for a moment?" I asked her through the door. I waited a few seconds and then decided to go in. "I'm coming in Winry." I opened the door.
I couldn't have picked a better time, maybe a few more minutes, seconds even. Winry had been changing into different clothes. All she had on was her underwear and a tank top with no other under clothing on. I blushed madly and stepped back a few steps and slowly closed the door.
"Winry… Dinner's ready downstairs." I mumbled. I furiously raced back to my room. I slammed my door behind me and slid down to the floor.
"God, can this day get any worse." I put the cold, still wet towel over my face, hoping to cool down the terrible heat that was contained in my cheeks. I took a few deep breaths and stood back up, throwing the towel to the corner of my room. I looked in the mirror on the wall. There were still hints of red in my face, but most of it was gone. I quickly grabbed an elastic band and put it around my wrist. I thought I'd just let my hair down for a while. Plus it wouldn't hurt to be able to have hair covering my face if something even more embarrassing happened.
Doing one last check before going back downstairs, I safely assumed that nothing else I had on me would make me embarrassed. I quietly walked out of my room and down the hall. The steps only seemed really loud as I tried to keep my entrance subtle. I made it down the stairs and went into the kitchen.
Winry was sitting at the table, and she was eating her food, looking at the table. I looked at her real quick.
She hadn't changed or put anything else on from what I had seen previously. She still just had underwear and a black tank top.
I took a seat opposite from hers. She looked up at me, still chewing her food.
"Hi…" She spoke nonchalantly.
"Hey…" I responded coolly back. "Um… Sorry about upstairs." I apologized. She shrugged.
"It's not the first time you've done it." I blushed slightly and gulped.
"I-It's not?"
She smiled weakly and responded with one answer, "Nope."
I just didn't know what else to do at this point, so I just took a big bite of food. Winry looked at me very concerned, but also annoyed.
"What the hell Ed, you're going to choke if you eat that much at one time." I swallowed everything that was in my mouth in one big gulp.
I moaned to myself. This was really hard, having this semi-stranger sitting across from you, only wearing limited clothing, and having just found out that you've peeped in on her more than once. I don't even know her, but now I feel so guilty for everything I've apparently done. I gulped.
"Again, I'm sorry…" She looked at me with her eyebrows raised.
"For everything that's happened…" I paused. "I feel terrible about all this, honestly. I wish I could crawl in a corner and detach myself from this world. I can't imagine how much it must hurt, just because of me, but I can understand that it's painful. I-I want to be able to make it up to you and Al somehow…" I turned slightly red and stared at my plate of food.
"More or less you though… I'm sure I've hurt you worse." I looked up at her.
She was crying, but still staring at me. "Oh crap, now I've done it, I've hurt you even more. Please don't cry." I worried.
She just smiled and wiped away her tears. "No, it's fine. You didn't do anything." She reached over and touched my hand softly. "You're just sounding like my Ed is all, and I'm happy." I blushed again and looked away.
I tried to change the subject. "Al made a good dinner, didn't he?" She pulled away her hand, continuing to eat with a smile on her face.
"Yes, he did. He always is a really good cook." I managed to smile a little. We both finished up our dinners, and so I grabbed both the plates and put them in the sink. I turned around to Winry standing right behind me. She actually startled me for a moment.
"Did you need something?" I asked, still somewhat shaken up. She smiled at me, with her eyes slightly red.
"Can I ask you to do one thing for me? Please?" Her smile weakened a bit.
"Uh, sure, if I'm able to do it, okay." I stuttered. She looked down at the floor, then back to me with her smile gone from her face.
She startled me by suddenly hugging me. Her hands were wrapped around my chest and her face was digging into my shirt. I wasn't too sure how to respond. I slowly put one hand on her waist and the other on the top of her head. She sighed lightly. We were like that for a few minutes before she pulled away smiling.
"Thank you." I blushed madly and looked away.
"I-It's not a big deal."
She laughed. "You know, I think you've gotten taller."
I fumed, "I was never short in the first place!"
She just laughed and walked to the stairs. She smiled one last time and spoke to me, "Thanks Ed…"
I scratched my head and looked to the side, "Yeah, yeah." And I waved her off.
She walked up the stairs and I was left in the kitchen. I had walked over to the sink and splashed some water on my face, slightly making a mess on the floor and countertops.
I sighed to myself. I washed the dishes from dinner and cleaned up the kitchen.
After I finished, I went up to my room and immediately fell on the bed. I glanced at the clock. It was almost 7. I suppose I could fall asleep at any time, but the thought of Winry being in the room next to mine. It made me turn red. Just sitting there was starting to make my eyelids droop.
As my head was on the pillow, I faintly heard someone singing and it immediately made me fall asleep.
Ed's dream
Different images shot into my head once again. I continued to hear the singing, and I heard a girl talking, "Remember Ed? You said next time I'd cry, it'd be tears of joy." Then Winry was grinning at me, and laughed, "Ed, I love you!" Her face changed from a smile to a face full of horror. She started coughing erratically and blood started to come out in between coughs. She looked up at me and smiled weakly. With blood all over her face, she spoke softly, "I'll always love you." The figure from the gate spoke also, "You must give up your love for her if you want to save her."
Winry's POV
"Thanks Ed," I smiled at him.
"Yeah, yeah," he responded coolly and waved to me. I went up the stairs and up to my room, where as soon as I got there, I collapsed against the door. I smiled and looked at the ceiling.
"Maybe it is possible for Ed to remember." I sat there for a few minutes, just sitting in silence. I heard footsteps from the other side of the door. 'Probably Ed,' I thought to myself, smiling at the thought of him.
I got up and went over to my dresser. I rummaged around in there until I found a picture of Ed and I that was taken a long time ago. I kept that out and I ended up finding my original words for the song I sang before. The one I made up when I was really depressed about Granny's death.
I sat on the bed with both the picture and the words on the paper. I leaned against the backboard for my bed and sang softly,
Never to return, my sweet farewell,
His love never to be returned to me.
The voices captured are like a spell,
My gentle heart is bloomed and free.
My love, my life, my family lost,
No one else but me.
All paid with a reasonable cost
No longer known as three.
I really realized how much sorrow I had contained. Ever since Ed and Al came home, my emotions have been on a roller coaster.
I had been depressed, then even more depressed, along with sorrow, and now I was happy, but still sad. I sighed to myself, but still smiled.
'Maybe things can finally get better for once.' I got up and turned out the lights, and made myself comfortable in my bed. 'Maybe Ed can at least remember how much I love him.' And I fell into a deep sleep.
A few hours later (Winry's POV)
I woke up abruptly to the sound of footsteps.
"Who's there?" I spoke softly. The doorknob on my door started to turn slowly. I quickly grabbed my wrench and covered my face with my comforter. I was ready to throw the wrench when the door opened. The door swung open and a dark, tall figure walked in.
"Who are you?!" I spoke louder this time. The figure moved closer to my bed.
"Don't get closer!" My voice wavered. The figure walked into the moonlight that was partially escaping from the window.
The figure was Ed.
I lowered my wrench. "Ed, what do you need?" I spoke quietly. He just stood there for a moment, not saying a thing.
I crawled out of my bed a little to get a good look at Ed. When I was close enough, I had noticed his eyes were closed.
"Ed… Are you sleeping??" I sat back down in the spot I had rose from my slumber. He staggered over to the side of my bed. He had picked up the corners of the blankets and lifted them up, getting under them, like this was his own bed.
I moved over, and hissed quietly at him, "Ed, this is my bed." It was too late. Awake or not, he was already comfortable in my bed, head on the pillow and everything.
"Ed, are you having more body memories again?" I asked him, knowing I wouldn't get a response. I sighed and shifted back to my original position of lying down. This time, I was facing Ed, looking at his serene face.
He suddenly threw his arm around my waist. I jumped slightly. He was still sleeping, breathing slowly. I shifted closer to him.
'I suppose this is the only time I can be with the Ed that loves me.' I nuzzled my head in his chest and his face was in my hair.
"Winry…" He muttered quietly. I smiled slowly to myself.
"Ed, I love you." I spoke my final words for the night, and drifted off into sleep again.
Ed's POV
When I woke up, I woke up very slowly. Wherever I was at, it was the most comfortable and warm place I've ever been at.
I sighed to myself, snuggling more into the blankets.
I lifted my eyelids slowly, and only a little bit. Through the tiny slits my eyes were making, I could only see a fuzzy blond thing in my face. I took my hand and rubbed my eyes, opening them a little wider. I looked down again.
Like I had done so often these last couple of days, I turned extremely red. Winry was hugging my midsection, and smiling slightly. The arm I was lying on was also under Winry's head, and I could vaguely tell that it had fallen asleep.
But it wasn't the worst of my problems. I didn't know what I should do. Should I just lie there, or get up and possibly wake Winry up and face yet another embarrassing moment.
I took another glance at her, and decided that I should go. I slowly pulled my arm out from under her head. She stirred slightly, but she still managed to stay asleep. I then quietly moved her arms from around me, and I stood up without making a sound. She didn't move at all, after I had pulled my arm away from her head.
'She's such a heavy sleeper, yikes.' I thought to myself.
Now that my arm wasn't under her head anymore, it pained me greatly. It had that feeling of pins and needles of when limbs fell asleep. I squeaked the floorboards as I made my way out her door. I prayed to myself, hoping that it wouldn't wake her up. It didn't, to my relief, and I was able to make it outside without waking her up.
I was in the hallway, and pretty much ran to my room, where I closed my door abruptly and leaned against the door. I slid down the door and sighed heavily.
"What was I doing in Winry's room?!" I whispered to myself. It seems like these last few days, I ran to my room quite a bit. I suppose with everything that's going on, it'd probably be a normal reaction.
'I really need to shape up and act normally… Whatever normal is.' I quickly changed my clothes while I was in my room and went out into the hall, closing the door quietly.
I tiptoed my way down the stairs. I knew Winry was still sleeping, but I didn't know if Al was up or not yet. I went to the kitchen and Al was bustling around. He was making breakfast.
"Hey, shouldn't I make breakfast?" I asked him, pointing to the already prepared food.
"Oh, good morning Ed. And I got up early, so I just thought I'd make breakfast." I sat down in a chair.
"Yeah, but you made dinner last night." I stopped to grin. "Which I may add, was delicious!" He laughed.
"I'm glad you liked it. Did Winry come down and eat last night too?"
I blushed and stuttered, "Y-yeah, she did." He turned around to look at me. He just smiled.
"Good. How did you sleep?" He asked, turning back around to continue with his cooking. I turned red and tried to hold back the blush. I gulped. "Fine… I must have gotten up at one point in the night. I wasn't in the same spot I was when I went to bed."
"I thought I would have heard you when you got up." He spoke softly. I stood up from where I was sitting.
"You still aren't sleeping, are you?" I asked him slowly.
He didn't turn to look at me, but replied. "There are a few times where I get only a few hours of sleep, it's fine."
I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder. "Al, I know you're still not used to having your body back entirely, but you need to eat and sleep. I'm afraid of the results if you don't." I hugged him. He jumped slightly, then hugged me back.
"It's fine brother. I'm eating; I just have some bad nights still. I'll try to sleep, I promise."
We both heard a female voice, "Am I interrupting anything?" We both looked at the doorway, and Winry was smirking. I stopped hugging Al.
"Ed's just being worried about the well being of his brother, like usual." I nodded. She sat down in the spot I was previously sitting in.
Al finished putting the food on the table and sat down in the spot across from her. I sat down next to him and we began dishing food onto our plates. Al spoke while passing some of the food around.
"So Winry, how did you sleep?" She glanced at me first, then replied.
"I think that's the best I've felt in a long time." I took a slow, deep breath and managed to keep my cool, for now. "How did you sleep Ed?" She asked, grinning.
"I slept okay." I responded monotone, starting to eat my food.
"Ed said he thought he got up in the middle of the night or something." Al butted in. I stared down at my plate and continued eating.
"Really? Hey Ed, why did you have to get up?" She asked. I knew she was purposely doing this to me. I gave her a quick scowl and continued to look down.
"I was using the bathroom."
"I see." She smirked.
I could totally tell she was thinking, 'Yup, keep telling that to yourself, you know what you did.' Right now, she was just trying to get me to announce to the entire world that I woke up and found myself in her bed.
Al looked at Winry, then back at me. "Did something happen when I was gone last night?" I shook my head.
"Nah, nothing out of the ordinary." Winry said, starting to eat her own food.
"With the way things have been going lately, nothing seems ordinary." Al joked, laughing.
Winry giggled too, "That's true… So, where were you last night?"
"Oh, Ed didn't tell you? I went to go see Dr. Westing. I needed to ask her a few things."
"Ah, I see. And no, Edward failed to mention it to me. He was too busy being embarrassed and blushing like a maniac." She grinned at me. I gave her a glare, slowly chewing on my food.
"What were some of the things you wanted to talk to the doctor about, Al?" I spoke quietly.
"Just about Winry, about my sleeping problems…" He said the last part quietly, "memory loss."
"What?!" I blew up at him.
"Brother, I wanted to know. Even if you didn't want to remember, I'd still like to know what's happened to you."
Winry suddenly looked sad. I looked at her with fury. I was plenty angry now, and for almost no reason.
"Why are you getting sad? I'm the one who should be having the most problems! You're plenty healthy! I don't remember anything at all, and every since I woke up yesterday besides your bed, you've been making me do all these things that are making me so uncomfortable!
First it's almost a kiss, then it's walking in on you when you're changing. You can at least ANSWER someone when they're talking to you.
Then you hug me, because you're lonely. Hell, if Alphonse still knows you, why don't you hug him?
And then I wake up, not only with an arm that's fallen asleep, but also with you right next to me! Why the hell was I in your room anyway?
And now you're trying to get me to totally acknowledge that I was in your room, when in reality, I don't want to keep remembering me waking up next to someone I don't know."
Al just sat there with his mouth wide open and Winry was looking down at her plate, and she had tears in her eyes.
"Dammit, this is driving me insane! I hate having to play this game of "Mr. Nice Guy," when I even admit it to myself, I'm NOT NICE!" I laughed in between, but I was still plenty ticked-off.
"And to top it all off, I keep getting these pain in the ass headaches, and fucked up images of all this random crap I don't even know about!
Headache One: I'm back in the gate, which is the last place I want to be, with that freak thing in there grinning at me.
Headache Two: Being back in the gate, AGAIN! Only to tell me that I'm only there because I want something, and then I'm kissing her! And finally, so far, it's actually a dream, but my head does hurt pretty bad right now,
Headache number three: A girl singing, talking, and bleeding from the mouth, confessing her love to me. And then I'm in the Gate again… FOR A THIRD TIME! This time, only saying, "You must give your love for her if you want to save her."
I huffed and breathed hard. I was really angry, and actually yelling all that out made me feel a lot better. Al just still looked at me blankly, but was starting to stutter something.
"W-Wait…. What was that last part?"
I replayed what I had just said in an annoyed tone, "You must give up for love for her if you want to save her." I had been standing up for the last few minutes, and paced back and forth.
Now, I just looked back and forth between them, my arms crossed in frustration.
Al looked at Winry, and Winry looked at Al. Winry was still crying, but she had started to smile a little bit.
"I-I don't know if I should be happy or sad." I grunted and looked away. Al looked back at me.
"You did all that stuff to Winry?" He was majorly surprised. I quieted down, but was still angry.
"Both of you are just trying to make me the bad guy here now." I picked up my plate with the remaining food left on it. "I'm eating on the porch." I mumbled and left.
I swung the front door wide open and Den was outside, running around in the grass. I pulled out a chair forcefully and sat down in it. I took a bite of the toast that was on my plate and leaned back in my chair.
"Can this week get any worse?" I sighed. 'I know for sure I'm a terrible person, but I'm not sorry for what I said. So much has been happening, and I'm not used to all this." I covered my eyes with my hands.
"I just wish I could be somewhere else right now."
I heard faint honking and the sound of a revving engine. I uncovered my eyes and looked up. There was a car approaching the house.
I took my toast with me and walked down the steps. The car stopped as soon as it got out of the house and a woman with a mechanical arm stepped out of the vehicle.
"Can I help you?" I asked her monotone.
She smiled and spoke, "My name is Dr. Joan Westing, I think we've maybe met before. I know this may sound strange, but may I ask you to come with me to do a few tests." I looked at her strangely. "You don't need to worry, I'm a friend of Al and Winry's."
I looked back at the house and took another bite of my toast.
"I'll do it. Anywhere is better than here." I get into the car and the car sprung to life and we were on our way to an unknown destination with a stranger.
A/N: Well, okay, so the actual chapter is 4,896 words, not 5,000 or above, but I honestly can't think of anyway to extend it further.
I'm sorry for Ed blowing up, and sorry for all the crazy EdWin that's been happening. I hope you like this chapter! Thanks for everything! Hits, reviews, faves, alerts, everything! You all rock!
Oh, and most likely, don't expect a new chapter soon. I need to think out a structure for the next chapter. That, and I need to get back on track with my EdWin pairing. Right now, I'm really into Elricest or Hei/Ed (From the movie), so yeah. It may not be the best to write a EdWin fic with that on the mind. So yeah, have a great day!