I do not own The Hunger Games.
(A/N: This is the first of the final 3 Chapters: I decided to split up the Epilogue into 3 parts. Reviews and criticisms are welcome.)
Chapter 13: (1-1.5 years later)A year passed. Prim started her senior year and got her first tattoo – a butterfly on her left shoulder blade. Katniss suffered the event as graciously as she could, her stomach only giving a little twinge every time Prim wore a tank top. She even listened to Prim describe how much Rory loved kissing it without blowing up at her.
Sometimes she was sure Prim purposely antagonized her.
Streeter and Madge broke up. Streeter went to surf in Hawaii and Australia while Madge pursued a degree in Business Administration from USC. Cato, Katniss heard from Prim, joined a fraternity at UCLA and then had trouble maintaining his grades.
Katniss dabbled in some accounting classes and learned about new polymers being used in automobile design. She learned how to repair electric cars. She and Gale tried to make a go of dating and quickly realized how much alike they were. They parted awkwardly and Gale moved to San Francisco where he worked as a Marketing associate for a software start-up company. She sold the picture of Peet and the dolphin to secure Prims' future and, although she kept a copy of the magazine, she never looked at it. The pain was too great.
All was right for her on most levels: she coasted through her life with a minimum of effort. Work was good, her pictures commanded higher prices. She did freelance work periodically for Ted Streeter, travelling sometimes with him to places where he needed extra hands on shoots. Haymitch and Prim were amenable because it got her out of the house.
She avoided all things connected to Peet: the beach, his house, and the bakery were all painful zones of regret. She barely visited the beach for anything but pictures. Even then, she made sure to visit parts she had not explored previously. She avoided walking by his house, even to visit Madge when she was home on break. She heard it took a while to sell based on the asking price and a new family lived there. She hoped that they were happy. Visiting the bakery was completely out of the question because it smelled so much like him that even working at Haymitch's was painful for the first six months after he left.
She never entertained thoughts of getting in touch with him. He was as good as dead to her: untouchable as an angel.
She dreamt of him. Often there were nightmares. In some, she watched him walk away only to chase him and never catch up. In another, she looked and looked for him but was unable to find him. In yet another, she was able to locate him but she was invisible to him. She often woke from these with tears still wet on her face, Prim shaking her shoulder furiously. But the dreams that had her afraid to go to sleep most were the ones where she remembered his hands, his lips and the feel of their limbs tangled together while his smell surrounded her. On nights when he visited her like that, she woke silently with a longing so strong that she was usually unable to fall back to sleep. She often ended up roaming the house until the morning light gave her an excuse to get dressed and greet the day.
-December-
Christmas made thoughts of him appear unbidden and she became sullen and surly, even with Prim. Dark circles appeared under her eyes. She lost weight. She gave up on her self-imposed Mellark's exile, visiting the bakery just to breathe in the familiar scent. Once there, she bought shortbread cookies that she could not bring herself to eat. Instead, crumbling them between her fingers, she hoped the smell would rub off on her skin and provide some measure of relief.
Katniss stared at the crumbs on her napkin sightlessly.
"Katniss, are you ok?" Emma stood next to her and gave her a look of concern.
Katniss wondered dimly if the jovial woman had been standing there long.
"I was telling you that we are visiting another nursing home this year. I know you didn't come last year, but I thought I would offer again." In the year and a half since Peet had left, Emma Paylor had become a friend. The Everdeen family was always invited to spend holidays with her and Johanna.
Katniss picked up her tea and took a sip, hoping it would clear the lump in her throat. She had not gone with Emma and Johanna last year because the memory of Peet and that night was too tender: how happy he had been, how energized to make cookies and bring joy to other people. It had been a magical night.
"I'm not sure…" Katniss hedged.
"We really missed you and Prim last year. Even Haymitch is welcome!" Emma laughed.
Katniss smiled wistfully. Prim, she knew, would love to participate. Haymitch, on the other hand, had almost zero interest. Still there was a chance of Katniss having the house to herself for the night. "Thank you, Emma. I'll pass it along."
-o-
Katniss threw off the covers after tossing and turning for an hour. All she kept thinking about was last Christmas: Peet under the kissing ball, eyes intense on hers, Peet laughing in the kitchen while he decorated cookies, Peet handing cookies and hugs and smiles out at the rest home. It was like he was everywhere around her: I hate it. I hate him. Katniss knew if she finally got to sleep that she would dream of him, so she decided to finish decorating the tree that Prim and Haymitch had brought home earlier that day before they had both, surprisingly, left for Emma's house.
Prim had tried to coerce her sister. Even Haymitch had attempted to bribe her by saying that he would let her drink Johanna's eggnog. In the end, their efforts had been unsuccessful and Katniss had the house to herself. Katniss had thought the silence would be soothing and finally let her relax. It had just led her to another night where the prospect of tossing and turning was too depressing to face.
Katniss stared at the tree, wondering if she should get a step-stool to reach the top or just use a kitchen chair. When she finally decided on a chair and wandered into the kitchen, she discovered a bakery tray sitting on the counter. It was obviously from Mellark's – it had the silver ribbon with the Mellark's logo that she remembered so well. The tray was smaller than a cookie tray and it had some sort of rolls beautifully arranged in a single layer on it. Katniss sighed in relief: Haymitch must have bought them for lunch.
She noticed that the odd tray had a card attached as she was prepping the kettle to make tea. Katniss flipped the card open and her heart plummeted. It read, "I am sorry you are sad." She backed away as if burned. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. Instead, she went back to bed and pulled the covers over her head. Secure in her hidden nest of blankets in the empty house, she let the tears come.
-o-
It had been a horrible night. Katniss had finally given up her attempts at sleep and gotten dressed well before the sun rose. Bakeries open early, right? She needed to get some answers on the origin of this card, and she couldn't wait. Emma would know if she was dreaming or delusional or if it was some sort of sick joke. Even Haymitch or Prim could have written the card! Katniss did not think that either would do such a thing, knowing how upset it was likely to make her – even Haymitch would not be the cruel.
She knew the front door would not be open for business quite yet, so she walked around the back. The back door was open, the light from within a golden beacon of warmth in the still dark morning. Katniss drew closer. She heard a radio and Johanna giving orders. Katniss knocked loudly.
"Hey, Katniss! You're up early. Come on in." Johanna greeted her, unlocking the door and letting her into the bakery. "Can I get you coffee or something?"
Katniss shook her head. "Thanks, Jo. I'm sorry to come by so early. Something showed up at our house last night and it has me a little freaked out."
Just at that moment, someone walked in from the storeroom hidden by the fifty pound bag of flour he was carrying. "Jo, where do you want it?" A muffled voice said.
"Just put it anywhere. " Johanna looked from Katniss to the visitor, as if considering something. Finally she just said, "Katniss, you remember Peet. I'm sorry, he likes to be called Peeta now. Peeta, this is Katniss."
Katniss stood rooted to the spot as she saw Peet put the bag of flour down on the work surface. She could feel the blood drain from her face as dark spots clouded her vision. The last thing she saw before she fainted was his blue eyes.
Katniss heard bickering as she came to consciousness.
"I can't believe you didn't tell her I was coming back." Peeta said angrily.
Johanna fired back, "It wasn't my job, Baker Boy. You have a brain the size of a cake pop if you thought that sending her a cookie tray and an unsigned note was a good idea."
"How was I supposed to know that she would be this upset?" Peeta said.
Katniss blinked and tried to sit up.
"Whoa. Easy. You collapsed pretty fast. Good thing the floor broke your fall." Johanna said.
"I'm ok. I'm ok." Katniss pushed off Johanna's attempt at help and glared at her.
Johanna shrugged in response as she stood up. "I've got work to do. You kids talk to each other."
Katniss sat staring into space for a minute. Peet's here. He's right here. Is this real? She closed her eyes.
"I brought you some tea. It should help clear your head." She stared at him and then took the cup: it was prepared with milk and two sugars, just the way she liked it. Her heart jolted at the thought that he remembered her tea preference.
Thank you." Katniss said.
He nodded in response.
"How long have you been here?" Katniss focused on the steam rising from her cup. She could not look at his eyes or she would be lost.
A week. I've been in the States a little longer than that visiting my brothers. I'm staying with Johanna while I look for a place."
Katniss nodded as if the words made sense. All she could hear was the refrain of Peet's back running through her head. I've got to get out of here, she thought to herself. She put her cup down with a click.
"Well, um,.. thank you for the tea." She got up and brushed herself off.
Katniss looked at him and was struck by how much someone could change and yet still be themselves at the core: Peet (no, call him Peeta now) looked older, more mature. He had a growth of stubble like he hadn't shaved that morning, and his arms were the arms of a baker rather than a high school athlete or surfer. But he was still Peet – the boy who could make her day just by looking at her.
Peeta looked at her sheepishly. It was so much like the looks he used to send her in school that a bolt of pain shot through her heart. "Katniss, I'm sorry about the tray. If I thought it would have freaked you out, I never would have done it."
"I'm not freaked out." Katniss challenged him, all warm thoughts of him vanishing like smoke.
"OK, well, upset…or whatever. I just…it was my way of saying I'm sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck.
-o—
She's going to run again, Mellark. Take it easy. He paused while she nodded. When she turned to walk out the back door, he tried to stop her. "Did you try one yet? You should. I think you'll like them." I created the recipe for you.
She turned back to him, expression unreadable. "What are they?"
"Cheese buns." Peeta said. And then, as if there were some totally hidden meaning behind those two words, he blushed.
They stared at each other, drinking in a good long look. Peeta thought she looked the same – perhaps a little thinner than he remembered, face a little less round, hair a little shorter. Her eyes, though, were just as intense and her scowl was exactly the same. She still made his heart pound.
She gave him a small smile, then left with a wave.
She smiled at me, Peeta thought hopefully. It's a start.
-o-
"Oh my God." Prim moaned. "These are amazing. If you don't jump him for baking these, Katniss, I might."
Katniss shot her sister a look.
"Prim, are they better than sex? Because if they are, you should leave them for Katniss. Since she's going to be the oldest American virgin, she should have something to look forward to every day." Haymitch laughed, pouring something alcoholic into his coffee.
Prim laughed with him and ate another bite of cheese bun. "Well, now that Peet is back, maybe she could finally change that. Obviously, he still feels something."
Haymitch mussed Katniss's hair, ignoring the daggers shooting out of her eyes. "I would find out where he's been baking his strudel. There is no way that his dough has been rising without being kneaded for the past two years. I already bought you kids a pack of condoms – the next one is up to you."
"Haymitch, you are disgusting." Katniss hissed.
"Yeah, yeah. But I'm still here…" He dropped a kiss on top of her head.
Prim considered her sister. "Are you going to see him?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
Prim sighed. "Katniss, you've been thinking of him for 2 years. I know that you dream about him – you talk in your sleep. Give yourself a break. Give ME a break."
"Maybe he won't want to see me. "Katniss stared at her shoes, finding them interesting.
Prim snorted. "And all this time I thought guys had the market on dumb cornered. You are the most obtuse woman on the planet, aren't you? He sent you a gift. Obviously, it's an apology. That means that he's thought about you enough to make the effort. What have you done to apologize to him, Katniss? Because I recall that you were a total bitch to him. He deserves at least an apology from you."
At Katniss's pained look, Prim held up both hands in resignation. "OK. I'll back off. Think about it, Katniss: can you live with yourself if you never take a shot?"
-o-
Katniss was lying in the garden, brooding over Prim's words, when a shadow fell across her.
"Hey. I hope you don't mind…Prim let me in." Peet said. "Do you mind if I sit down?"
Katniss squinted up at him. "Can I get you anything?" She asked.
He shook his head. "No. I uh…I just came over to make sure you were ok."
"I'm fine."
Taunt silence stretched between them while wind chimes tinkled.
Peet finally broke the hush by saying, "Do you think that, if I stopped acting so hurt, maybe we could be friends?"
Katniss looked at him in surprise, Prim's words still ringing in her ears. She slowly nodded.
"Good. Then can I ask you for a favor? Johanna's driving me crazy. Will you come house hunting with me?"
She really wanted to spend time with him – she just didn't want him to know that. "Sure, I guess. When?"
"How about now?"