Good day to you all ! I'm hoping there is someone reading this, otherwise I'm going to feel so silly... XD Anyway ! Hope everyone had a nice Christmas and all that magic. I know I did, I got money and everything ! So I'm going to blow the vast majority of it as soon as I can on a lovely, lovely wig :) This chapter was fuelled by British comedy (can't beat it) and my darlings Blood On The Dancefloor and Jeffree Star. Bye now ! :D
It occurs to me on the way to my next meeting with Matt that this is actually going to be extremely awkward, seeing as both of us now know that I don't have any trouble with my penis at all, I just don't like Near being on the receiving end of it.
Upon my arrival, I find the redhead deeply engrossed in a game, stabbing the screen of his DS with violence I find genuinely unnerving. I wonder, quite sensibly, whether disturbing him right now is a very good idea.
"Uh, Matt..?"
His brow creases with the strain of multitasking as he slowly raises one trembling hand, his index finger sticking up with difficulty as an indication that I should wait a moment. "Give me just a minute, Mello..." he mumbles. "Please, sit down..."
I oblige, seating myself opposite him with a disgruntled expression. He's got nerve. If I didn't feel a kind of attachment to him following our amorous deeds of the last couple of weeks, I'd have punched him by now.
He continues to ignore me for a few more minutes, occasionally grunting or snapping his teeth in what I presume to be frustration, and I slowly grow more and more impatient and irritable as I watch. I want him to pay some attention to me, dammit..!
Eventually I reach forwards and snatch the DS out of his hands, watching with a cruel kind of satisfaction as his face falls in total shock at my offence.
"What did you do that for..? I was so fucking close to killing that bastard octopus thing! What's your problem?"
My eyes narrow as I deposit the DS less than carefully on the floor, and I can almost smell Matt's fear as he watches my face darken. I decide against questioning the bastard octopus.
"You're my problem at this exact moment! You get paid to talk to me about my cock when I come to you, not to ignore me while you fail at video games!"
Matt returns the frown at this point, probably because of my jibe about him being a bad gamer more than anything else, rebelliously lighting a cigarette. "Well, there's not even anything to talk about anymore, is there? I can't help you; your problem is that Near doesn't get you horny, not that your cock doesn't work!"
I bite back further insults, because most unfortunately, the retard is right for once. I struggle quietly for what to say next, and Matt glances worriedly over the desk, clearly hoping I'm going to give him his game back. No such fucking luck!
"Well, can't we just... Talk about something else, then..?" I finally sigh, my tone slightly exasperated. I hate it when people out-think me when I'm angry already. Matt, luckily, seems to have already forgiven my unkind outburst.
"All right, Mello. Let's talk about us."
I raise my head a little to look him in the emerald eyes; that wasn't quite what I was expecting.
"About us..? What do you want to say..?"
Matt's eyes seem almost to soften a little as he regards me, cocking his head a little to the side. "What're you gonna do, Mello?"
Ambiguous though the question was, I know exactly what he's on about, and sigh heavily, shaking my head as I lean back in my chair and pinch the bridge of my nose. I don't know why, it's just what people do.
"I don't know, Matt."
Matt nods seriously, and for one optimistic moment it seems that he actually understands and sympathises with me. But I suppose that's too much to ask for.
"Because, I don't even know Near that well, but hell, if he finds out about us, there's one big fan load of noxious shit heading your way-"
"Sod off, Matt..!" I implore, burying my face in my hands as I try to think of a solution to this. "Unless you actually have a good, sensible idea that I'm going to want to hear! But the chances of that are about equal to those of my mother rising from the dead and becoming a table dancer in New York."
Matt ignores my insult, staring vacantly over my head for a few moments before gracing me with an actual look again. Foolishly, my hopes rise for a second.
"You could just...dump him."
"No I fucking couldn't!" I throw back instantly, starting forwards in my chair, indignant. "Do you have any idea what would happen then? I'd be subjected to the fucking biggest interrogation in the history of mankind!"
"You don't love him anymore," Matt states bluntly, facing my anger with an impressive lack of fear, although this could just be because he's extremely stupid.
"That's not for you to say," I snarl, privately wondering whether my words are true or just instinctually defensive of myself. Matt sighs softly, leaning forwards and placing his elbows on the desk, staring earnestly into my eyes.
"Mello... I don't think, if you really still loved Near... That you would've slept with me quite so easily, huh? And the fact that you can't even find the will to have sex with him, but you can with me..."
"Who says I don't have the cocking will?" I shriek. "Of course I have the will, I just don't have the erection!"
Matt's hands unexpectedly shoot out to catch hold of mine, gently stroking the backs of my trembling fists in a feeble, if rather tender effort to calm me.
"Mello, shut up and listen to yourself..! You don't have to lie... We both know that you'd rather date me, don't we?"
He could at least sound slightly more apprehensive about it. Regardless, I nod, biting my lip. How the hell could I have let myself fall for this... Prize twat?
"So what the hell do you want me to do?" I ask softly, having to fight to keep my voice sane. Can you blame me? I'm discussing dumping my lover with my new lover, who appears to be the infuriating victim of some sort of illegal experimentation.
"Well... Either you just go home and tell him straight that you want to end it..." Matt bites his lip, averting his eyes. "Although I don't think you should mention that you want to leave him for me..."
No shit, really?
"Or..." The ability to construct coherent sentences doesn't seem to be one the redhead possesses. "You could be a coward. We could carry on this thoroughly immoral relationship we have at the moment, where you act all charm and smiles with him and secretly fuck me whenever you get the chance and feel the need."
I pause, mulling over each idea carefully. Of course, taking into account the seriousness of the situation, I certainly wouldn't want to pick the wrong one, or simply go with stupid instinct. No, this decision must be intelligent, dignified, and moral.
"I vote option two, because it sounds less frightening."
"Excellent!" Matt cries, relinquishing his grip on my hands and beaming, stretching in his chair. "It's a lot easier I guess..."
"It's horrible..." I mumble, clawing guiltily at my face as I think about it. "What the fuck am I thinking? I shouldn't two-time like this..."
"It doesn't have to be a permanent solution," Matt points out brightly. "If at some stage you think he should know what's actually happening, by all means tell him."
Pfft, the wanker knows that that's not going to happen any time soon. I'm fucking scared of the little albino waiting for me at home, even if he did recently disable his balls on the bed frame, and is considerably smaller than me. I've never actually seen him angry, but I bet he's like a force of nature when he is. And I think that maybe, just maybe, finding out his only friend in the world is cheating on him might put him in a little bit of a pissy mood.
Matt smiles cheekily at my answering pout, propelling himself abruptly out of his chair and onto the floor, scrabbling for a moment near my feet before retrieving his DS with a winning smile, clearly rather proud of himself. I can't help but laugh.
"You're such a sod..." I chastise pathetically, earning myself a cheery wink.
"I sure am, Mello!"
It's quite good that he isn't easily offended, actually. I suppose it'll be beneficial if he is going to be my lover, as whenever I get angry I can simply take it out on him! I could almost look forward to this, if I didn't feel so wretched about Near. I think I'm really the sod in this equation, to be honest.
Well, can't be helped.