CHAPTER 14 B
In which someone has a random and completely off-topic conversation with a goldfish.

"My mother is a fish."

CHAPTER 14 C
In which the fairy godmother-in-training finally gardens,
the dog begins a scientific study, and the four princesses arrive and do a little ditty.

About the same time Kagura found a wizard, Hatori decided to take a flutter, and Hatsuharu found a tree, Tohru was returning to the Sohma's house from a local market with a bag of groceries in each arm. The princesses of Cloud 9 were supposed to arrive this afternoon, and Tohru thought that the best way to greet them after their long journey would be with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Tohru had also gone shopping for dinner, and she hoped that the princesses liked pea soup.

Actually, who didn't like pea soup? Tohru thought as she continued to walk down the road less-traveled. There were so many different ways to make it. Some liked it hot, for example, and some liked it cold. Some liked it in the pot nine days old.

Well, hopefully the princesses liked it hot and not nine days old, since she had just gotten the ingredients today.

The road less-traveled ended where the Sohma's garden path began, and Tohru was surprised to see a young man standing not ten feet from her, gazing at the roses.

"Oh!" Tohru said in surprise, almost dropping her bags.

The man jumped slightly and turned, looking just as surprised as Tohru felt.

Tohru blushed and, feeling slightly embarrassed, attempted to hide her face behind the paper grocery bags.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted you," she said hastily. "I'm just passing through, so please don't mind me."

Tohru hurried by him with the intent of letting the man admire the garden in peace, but she'd barely gone very far when she turned back around and said, "You aren't waiting for someone, are you? I'm sorry, I probably should have asked you that first… I mean, unless I was right that you wanted to be left alone. But if you're looking for someone, I wouldn't mind trying to find him, if you tell me who it is, and then you can look at the garden while you wait, if you're not in a hurry or anything and--"

"Miss Honda, please don't alarm yourself on my behalf," the man interrupted, placing a hand on Tohru's foot.

Huh-what? On her foot? Actually, come to think of it, the man was very, very short. His voice was oddly reminiscent of Yuki's, too.

Yuki put his front paws on the ground, and Tohru could see that the man she thought she saw standing in the garden was actually Yuki the mouse.

"Oh, it's you, Yuki," Tohru sighed happily. "I didn't recognize you. I wasn't interrupting you, was I?"

"Not at all," Yuki replied politely. "I was just looking at the garden and wondering if the roses needed watering."

Tohru turned and looked at the rose bushes with a scrutinizing look. Then she shifted the bags in her arms and looked back at Yuki.

"Please give me a moment to return, okay?" she said, and before Yuki could reply, Tohru was already heading inside the house.

Shigure was not in his room typing that morning. Instead, he had come down an hour early, just as Yuki had woken up early, and was in the main room reading the newspaper when Tohru came in with the groceries.

"Ah! Tohru!" he called, standing up. "Do you have a moment?"

Tohru stopped just short of the door leading to the hallway.

"Yes?" she asked, curiously.

Shigure cleared his throat, then smiled.

"Did you happen to buy the--" he began.

"Oh yes, I did!" Tohru said assuredly. "Where do you want me to put them?

"Just in the hall would be fine. But before you do, would you mind giving me the ball of yarn, first?"

Tohru nodded and said, "Just a moment."

She placed one of the bags down at her feet and dug through the other bag until she found what she had been looking for.

"Here it is," she said, pulling out a ball of dark gray yarn and handing over to Shigure. "I didn't know what color to get, so I got a color that matched your fur."

"Thank you Tohru, you are a wonderful flower," Shigure cooed before taking the ball of yarn between his teeth.

"It wasn't any trouble," Tohru said honestly, picking the bag back up. It was awkward, considering she only had one arm to use, and it was hard to get it off the floor.

"If you don't mind me asking," she said to Shigure once she managed to pick it up, "what did you need the yarn for?"

"Ah 'eehd ed hoa uhng ehgshferimehnd." Shigure said.

"I'm sorry?"

"Ah 'eehd ed hoa uhng ehgshferimehnd." Shigure repeated, which didn't make it any clearer at all.

Tohru stood quite still for a moment, and then smiled.

"Well, good luck, then," she said cheerily before walking into the hallway.

Shigure allowed himself a brief, evil chuckle.

Tee hee.

Not more than ten minutes later, Tohru had already made about twenty peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She then used her knobbley twig-looking key to get into her supply closet, and was now heading back to the garden with a pair of lightweight shears in garden-gloved hands.

Yuki had been waiting patiently for her in the shade of one of the rose bushes.

"What are you planning on doing with those?" Yuki asked almost nervously, but still pleasantly enough.

"I thought the roses looked like they weren't getting enough water lately, just like you were," Tohru said, sitting carefully next to Yuki so she, too, was in front of one of the rose bushes, "but I thought it was very odd, considering all the rain we had last week. Then I thought, perhaps they have been over-watered, but that couldn't be right, either, because it hasn't rained at all this week, and the roses haven't looked particularly sick until the past few days or so.

"In fact, I thought, they've been flourishing," she continued. "And that's when I figured out what was wrong with them."

Tohru smiled at Yuki in a sort of now-do-you-see? sort of way, but Yuki shook his head slightly.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Tohru gently took hold of a branch with several incredibly large red roses blooming on it.

"Let me show you," she said, taking her shears and delicately snapping off one of the roses so that it fell lightly into her lap, "This bush has too many blooms. The reason it looks so wilted is because all of the blossoms are weighing the branches down."

While she said that, two more rose blossoms fell into her lap.

Yuki glanced up at Tohru in astonishment. He looked as though he were about to say something, but then seemed to change his mind. Tohru, still concentrating on her work, didn't notice as she clipped one last bloom before releasing the branch. It sprang up as though attached to, well, springs.

"You see?" Tohru asked, turning her attention back to Yuki. One of the rose blossoms rolled off her lap and landed next to Yuki.

Yuki smiled slightly and stooped to pick it up.

"Yes. I do," he said.

"I wish I knew who planted these roses," she sighed, taking another branch in her hands. "They're really quite beautiful."

Yuki again looked like he was about to say something, but again, he remained silent.

Elsewhere, Kyo, who had miraculously avoided Yuki that morning-- not that he had actively been avoiding him or anything, that darn mouse—padded his way down the upstairs hall after practicing his mad cat kung fu art on the roof.

Note: Please do not practice martial arts on the roof, as it may prove hazardous to your health and unhealthy for your friends' and relations' nerves.

Kyo had planned on going to his room to put on his boots, vest, hat etc. in anticipation of the four princesses' arrival after breakfast, but at the top of the stairs, he was stopped by a very odd sight.

Kyo stared at it.

"It's just a ball of yarn," he said quickly. But he continued staring at it.

His whiskers twitched.

Just a ball of yarn, he thought to himself. It was stupid. It was just... it was a ball of yarn.

Kyo let out a primeval yowl and leapt at it.

Hiding behind the doorway down the upstairs hall, Shigure, already dressed in his best for the princesses, watched.

Most interesting.

Tee hee.

---

Tohru had clipped off enough roses to fill all of the vases, water glasses and coffee mugs in the house when she and Yuki heard the crunching of gravel under the weight of horse hooves and carriage wheels.

"It must be the princesses!" Tohru exclaimed delightedly.

Yuki did not look so enthusiastic.

No sooner had Tohru said this when a large and luxurious orange-colored carriage stopped at the entrance of the garden, and three beautiful young women attempted to get out through the door all at once.

"Owowowow! You're pulling my hair, Minami!" cried the one in a green gown of satin.

"It's not my fault, Mai-- Miya is pushing me!" said the one in yellow-gold cashmere. This was Minami.

"That's only because Mai's on my foot!" snapped the one in pink chiffon. This would be Miya.

"Are they the princesses?" Tohru asked, a smile spreading on her lips. "They're beautiful!"

"Minami! You're still pulling my hair! It really hurts!" sobbed the one in green. Since she was the only one not paired up with a name yet, she must have been Mai.

Note: I hope you were paying attention to all that, because there will be a name test coming up. Actually... on second thought... maybe not. It was just a moving tangle of talking arms and legs and hair-pulling and pastel-colored dresses, really.

Yuki chose not to comment on Tohru's observation.

"I'm going to fall over if Miya doesn't stop pushing me!" shouted Minami.

"If Mai would just—ow! That was my knee you just hit!" cried Miya.

"Just stop pushing, okay?" Minami cried back.

Standing in the rose garden, Tohru and Yuki exchanged worried glances.

"Do you think we should go help them?" Tohru asked, evidently concerned.

"I don't think so," Yuki replied. It looked a little dangerous to get too close.

And so the two had to content themselves with simply watching the princess' continued struggle.

"Maybe we shouldn't all try to get out at once," said Mai.

"Well, my foot's already out, so if you'll just stop jabbing my knee…" Miya began.

"I have an arm out," Minami whined, "so if you'd just let go of my dress…"

"Owch!" wailed Mai. "You're crushing me against the doorway!"

Yuki glanced over at Tohru again, who looked extremely distressed by the three princesses' predicament, and he was about to suggest maybe they really ought to help after all when a fourth voice sounded.

"Everyone just calm down," the voice said imperiously, and surprisingly, the three girls in the doorway immediately stopped struggling. They all went silent, except for a few whimpers from Mai, who was still pressed up against the doorway.

"It doesn't matter who gets out first," the fourth voice continued, "and since Mai is already halfway out, I suggest, Minami, that you let go of her hair."

"Yay!" Mai sighed in relief. Minami reluctantly pulled her fingers from Mai's short black hair.

Once Mai had jumped out of the carriage, Yuki and Tohru could see the owner of the fourth voice. She was the fourth princess, and she was dressed in midnight-blue gown of silk. She allowed Minami and Miya to exit together, still pushing each other, before she stepped out herself.

Yuki, for a brief moment, quietly panicked.

"Um… hello!" Tohru called before Yuki thought to stop her.

All four princesses snapped their attention on her. Tohru could feel the sudden weight of their combined concentration that she took a step back.

"You must be the princesses of Cloud 9," she continued nervously. She looked at each of them.

"Mai," she said to the one in green.

"Minami," to the one in yellow.

"Miya," to the one in pink.

"And you are… er… you must be Motoko," to the girl in midnight blue.

"And you are…?" Motoko asked suspiciously.

Tohru curtsied. It was a small curtsy, but she figure that would be better than a deep curtsy that ended with her falling flat on her face in front of royalty.

"My name is Tohru Honda. I'm the housekeeper."

Four audible sighs could be heard, though what the sighs were for, Tohru didn't know.

"Could you tell Prince Yuki that we have arrived, then, Miss Honda?" Motoko asked, waving a hand in the air dismissively.

"Ah… well…" Tohru began nervously.

"I'm already here," Yuki interrupted abruptly, standing up.

The princesses gazed at him.

"Prince Yuki…" they said in unison. Obviously, Shigure's trick had worked, and they all recognized Yuki as a human.

"You brought us roses…" Minami sighed.

"Roses?" Yuki repeated, completely baffled.

"How romantic…" Mai said.

Yuki looked down at his paws to see that he was still holding a rose from earlier that day. And piled up behind him, there was a wall of rose blossoms clipped from the branches.

Oh, yes. Those roses. Yuki felt something akin to dread sink into his stomach.

Motoko seemed to snap out of her Ah… Yuki Dream State first and clapped her hands.

"Places, everyone," she called.

Mai, Minami, and Miya stood at attention.

"Ready?" Motoko asked.

"Ready!" the Minami and Miya said.

"Wait! I have a rock in my shoe!" Mai cried frantically, but too late. The four princesses started to sing:

"L-O-V-E! We love Yuki! Yuki! LalalalalaLOVE! LalalalalaLOVE!"

During the song, they did a little dance that was, to say the least, most impressive since it involved a lot of jumping, clapping, and energy. At the end, they froze in what looked like to be Charlie's Angel's stances, but instead of holding guns, they were holding Yuki's roses.

The effect was ruined when Mai broke ranks and began jumping on one foot while holding the other saying "ow, ow, ow, ow."

Tohru smiled politely, but it was pretty obvious she wasn't exactly sure as to what had just happened.

"I thought you might be hungry from your journey," she said after a moment, still smiling. "Do you like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

...

Moral of today's story: Don't get involved in a random conversation with fish,
especially if they talk back