It didn't take. The words rang ceaselessly in her head, making her feel dizzy and sick to her stomach. And finding out wasn't even the worst part. She had to go home and look Mulder in the eye and tell him how much of a failure she truly was. Why had she insisted on coming alone today? If he'd come with her, he would know by now. He might be gone by now.
Would he leave? Would he shove down his own grief and disappointment to be there for her? Would he break down, leaving her to be the comforter? Either way, this would end in someone's tears, she just knew it. It was inevitable.
She'd lost a lot of blood last week after her encounter with Padgett and his murderer. Had that been the final straw, the thing that ultimately killed any hope of a miracle? Would things have turned out differently if she had just kept out of harm's way, as Mulder and her mother had been pushing her to do? Maybe then she'd be going home to deliver good, no, the best, news possible. There would be tears, but they would be tears of joy and laughter as they threw their heads back and laughed at the sheer miracle of it all.
But, she reminded herself, no matter the cause, you do not have a baby. You are going home and you have to tell Mulder and this will break both of you.