Delphine rolls the window down enthusiastically, desperate for some air on what was turning out to be a humid August day. She looks over at Cosima, who is talking animatedly seemingly unbothered by the heat. Her lover's hands wave, before jolting back to the wheel once again. She sighs, unable to drive herself, Delphine is at Cosima's mercy for this quick jaunt.
"Mon amour, please pay attention to the road." Delphine calls out affectionately. And truly, the love between them has only grown in the last month. There had been lovemaking, Delphine reflects with a smile, not quite as much as she found she wanted. But enough. Her sheer depth of feeling for Cosima had only increased, it hadn't burnt out, or faded away like the little flirtations she'd had in her youth. Perhaps, Delphine thinks distractedly, that was why.
"Delphine, we're two hours outside the city. There is barely anybody around." Cosima brushes her off with another gesture.
"Alright." Delphine agrees, reaching her hand to briefly squeeze Cosima's free one. This, this day together, maybe the last one for a while.
Between their burgeoning romance, and Cosima working in the shoe store, and her own preparations for teaching in September the summer was quickly drawing to a close.
"We could… get away with anything out here." Cosima gestures to the forests currently surrounding the road. Perhaps it was
"Where are we going?"
Cosima grins at her, taking her eyes off the road for a moment. "I told you Wasaga Beach. Good for swimming. Or… whatever we end up finding."
"We're lost." Delphine surmises quickly.
"We aren't lost." Cosima emphasizes, turning to face her, "we're on an adventure. We have maps in the car. We'll be fine."
"Cosima!" Delphine shouts, another car approaching, Cosima forced to swerve to return to her lane on the narrow road.
"Sorry." Cosima returns her attention to the road. "So, I got into that class they didn't want me to take."
"Pathological Psychologies?" Delphine responds, she remembers the discussion. "Are you sure that is a good idea, mon amour?"
"Yes. Agh. Delphine, you are starting to sound like my mother. She doesn't want me taking it either. All 'too disturbing for a young lady'... but the university is letting me." Cosima shrugs, one hand off of the wheel before a well-timed glare from Delphine makes her replace it.
The drive may be her favourite part, and best of all, Delphine thinks they're alone. Let go for one night to the beach at Wasaga, albeit reluctantly on the part of Cosima's parents. With one caveat, they are to drive the extra hour to the cottage rather than staying overnight at Wasaga, something neither of them minded.
"I… I am looking forward to having the cottage to ourselves." Delphine confesses with a squeeze to Cosima's hand.
"Me too… but first the beach." Cosima grins, "we'll be there within twenty minutes."
It's touristy. Delphine notes the diners and stores, the restaurants and ice cream parlours, all meant to cater to a crowd gathering to enjoy the beach.
They reach the beach before noon, and neither can resist getting to the changerooms, locking their valuables in the car, and leaving the key tucked and tied safely into Cosima's swimsuit.
It's busier than either of them would like, the crowded beach, the little strip offering food and services. Teenagers, adults of all ages, and children take up most of the room on the beach.
She feels instantly disappointed. She cannot hold Cosima's hand here. Cannot kiss her here.
They settle on the beach, Cosima looking at her with soft eyes. She can tell that occasional young men look over at them. Two girls alone, assuming that they want company. They rush to the water instead. Squealing and gasping at the chill of the water, as they wade deeper.
Watching Cosima splash around in the water brings an easy smile to Delphine's face.
Cosima opts to splash her instead, swimming deeper, urging her to follow. Delphine holds back, looking around. They can't exactly roughhouse in the water like children, the way it seems Cosima wants to whenever she gets too close.
Instead they swim, speaking of meaningless things, or she talks about her childhood, the swimming she's done before. They swim, and she fantasizes about gathering Cosima into her arms, about making love to her under the warm sun. What kind of place could she do that? Could that even really exist? Surely, their love must be confined to shadows, and perhaps a trusted few who could keep secrets.
"You thinking about teaching again?" Cosima asks, squinting at her in the bright sunlight as they wade from the lake. "You'll be great, you know that?"
Delphine smiles, even Cosima has begun to recognize her expressions. "Non, it's not that." Her nerves got the best of her some days. But she'd met the headmaster, several other teachers, and knows that teaching, while not thrilling, won't be difficult for her.
"Then what is it?"
"I…" Delphine looks around the crowded beach, the many teenagers, families, the couples kissing and walking hand in hand.
"Oh." Cosima reacts, "we'll go somewhere else… keep driving."
"Yes." Delphine nods.
"But… we should eat first." Cosima tilted her head towards the small strip.
She grins eating her hotdog, a quick bite before they can rush out again. But all she can do is give Cosima's hand a quick squeeze, enviously watching young men with their sweethearts who cling throughout their meal.
They change in the changerooms, quickly shucking off their wet swimsuits and wrapping them in their towels, replacing their dresses and returning, hair still damp and drying in the August heat, to the car. The leather seats stick to the backs of their knees and they squirm in the hot sun
After driving several long minutes, with the windows cranked down to encourage some kind of breeze as a reprieve, Cosima glances at her. "I might know a little spot we can swim… alone. But it's a drive."
"The cottage?" Delphine smiles.
"Near it." Cosima smiles. "We'll just take a nice drive."
"Cosima… I want to kiss you." Delphine looks over at her lover desperately. It's never enough. She can never get enough.
"And you will…" Cosima agrees, turning the vehicle to take the winding path down the backroads.
This time, they sing, this time they hold hands in the car and she leans over and kisses Cosima's cheek, Cosima's neck, before her beloved swats her off to continue driving. It doesn't matter that the day is sweltering, not that they are bound to be late for everything. No doubt, Cosima's parents will have words for them if they are late getting home tomorrow.
"I am not sure we'll get another chance to stop," Cosima explains as they turn off into a small town.
"There is barely anything here." Delphine comments. But she knows they need to eat.
"We'll just buy bread and fruit, some cheese." Cosima shrugs, "things we can eat on the road."
"We'll have a picnic." Delphine grins smiling at her, as they finally find a bakery.
"Yes." Cosima hops from the car, and quickly runs around the car to open the door for her, making Delphine blush and smile. Wherever this nowhere town is, it's enough for this.
A pair of eyes watch them intently from the window, Delphine senses it, even as they make their way into the bakery, Cosima's enthusiasm seems to cool under the scrutiny.
It's the woman behind the counter who catches her attention. She's older than she and Cosima no doubt, by at least a decade, but the way she's dressed. Delphine is shocked as she sees men's shoes and suspenders. The way she leans against the counter, seeming distinctly unfeminine.
Delphine concentrates on not gaping at this woman like some sort of idiot. The intelligent thing to do, is to pretend not to notice, to pay for their bread and leave again.
"Hello." The woman greets them pleasantly, eyes darting between she and Cosima as her smile brightens. "What can I get you ladies?"
"Just a loaf of bread?" Cosima asks uncertainly, taking in the appearance of this stranger.
"Oh come on, take some pastries too." The woman points at the various cookies and cakes, clearly she didn't have trouble staying in business. She's friendly and amicable, advertising the various goods, suggesting other stores to pick up what they need.
"Helen, is that pie done yet?" The woman shouts into the backroom. Breaking her role as baker and saleswoman.
"It'll be done when it's done, Dorothy!" A no-nonsense tone responds, "Why, you got customers in a rush?"
"Just a couple... of girls." Dorothy hollers back, the pause likely intentional. "But I think they'd rather get back on the road than wait for you to finish."
"We don't need a pie." Delphine says nervously. Somehow she knows, this woman, this Dorothy, sees right through her. Right through both of them. But a quick look at Cosima tells her that her lover is keeping her composure. Maybe she's imagining things. Maybe.
Just as they are paying, another woman, similar in age emerges from the back room, a thin dusting of flour, but her presentation entirely feminine. A warm pie clutched in an oven mitt.
"Oh, take the pie girls." Helen smiles at the two of them, her eyebrows raising.
"Thank you. We will." Cosima nods as Dorothy packs it up for them.
They pay for their groceries and leave, the woman giving them a last nod as they turn, bell ringing on the door on their way out.
"That was… odd." Cosima comments.
"Very."
Not another word is spoken of the encounter. After all, what could either of them say?
The sun is starting to set by the time Cosima pulls over again, their simple dinner long since eaten, the cherry pie safely packed away under Delphine's side of the front seat. For breakfast tomorrow, they'd told each other.
"Come on!" Cosima urges, guiding her out of the car and taking her by the hand. Trees surround both sides of the road, and there is barely enough room to park, but she's guiding Cosima's face to her own, to finally take the kisses she'd been dreaming about all day.
They walk a short ways, a path leading down to a small lake. A pond perhaps? Delphine wonders, but the water runs. A stream.
Cosima grins, and begins unbuttoning her clothes, laying her dress on the rocks, before shrugging out of her slip, her underwear.
"What are you doing?!"
"Swimming." Cosima responds with a cheeky smile.
"But… our swimsuits."
"Don't need them. No one is going to see us here." Cosima assures her. Hands working the buttons on her dress as encouragement.
And naked, under the faintly red glow of the setting sun, Cosima is wonderful. She strips and follows her into the water. This time they splash, they kiss in the water, chasing each other like children and pulling at each other.
"Delphine…" Cosima moans, after a particularly deep kiss, her hands grazing her lover's sides, so close… so close she could just take her.
"Yes?"
"I don't want to swim anymore." Cosima looks at her seriously, shaky. They climb from the water, gathering their clothes in their hands, not bothering to put them back on, they toss their dry clothes into the front bench seat, and climb into the back. Daylight almost faded, they cling to each other. Neither quite brave enough to make the first move here. To touch each other so intimately here.
"Oh Delphine…" Cosima sighs at her pulling her into her arms, her lips going to her neck, kissing the path to her ear that she has learned always makes Delphine whimper. Another kiss, she plays with Cosima's tongue with her own, clutching her beloved as closely as she can while a now familiar fire rushes through her blood. Her love for Cosima. Her desire for Cosima.
"Make love to me … right here." Delphine finds herself demanding, more and more aroused, everything in her fixated on the dampness of Cosima's hair, the slight wetness of her skin, the strength of her hand, of her fingers when they begin to stroke at her.
It doesn't take long for her hips to respond, to rock into Cosima's body, to insist on having her lover inside of her again. Her peak comes, and she blinks back tears. She's never been happier.
"Je t'aime…" Delphine assures Cosima, moving to take her, her own hand sliding between their bodies, adjusting positions. Not caring that the windows are fogged up, or that some poor unsuspecting farmer might happen upon them if they are woefully unlucky.
"I want you…. I want this…" Delphine pants as she moves, her fingers delving deeper into Cosima, her arousal increased by every moan, every sound from Cosima's perfect lips. She cannot deny the want, the desire. Or the love, and it all exists together, even if it shouldn't. Cosima isn't a demon, not some sort of horrible creature. She couldn't imagine her being any more perfect, any more wonderful.
"Tu es comme un ange Cosima…" Delphine lets herself run at the mouth, fixated on the feel of Cosima tightening around her, of the imminent orgasm she felt such a need to give Cosima.
The sounds fade to slow breathing, the need to couple, temporarily sated.
Eventually they settle, curled together on the back seat, now in complete darkness. The warmth of Cosima's arms around her the ultimate comfort.
"I… I have wanted this for so long." Cosima croons to her, "I… I never thought I could fall in love. That I would find somebody. And we're not the only ones, Delphine! There are other women like us…. And we can live lives together… it's going to be beautiful."
"It will. It will." Delphine assures her. But she cannot stop the wave of sadness that comes over her. Or the shivering fear, the what-ifs.
She doesn't tell Cosima that, instead she kisses her deeply, and they struggle into their clothes, and drive the twenty minutes to the cottage, barely managing to put the sheets on one of the double beds before removing their clothes again. Meeting Cosima skin on skin in a bed easily big enough for the two of them, moving in the dark until she peaks again and again.
When they wake in the morning, they make love again, she forgets the wave of sadness. Tossing it from her mind. She has Cosima. They have all the time in the world.