Okay, so before you get too excited...obviously this is the same chapter as before only the ending ignores of it is different so I'd suggest reading through the whole chapter again to get the whole effect! I will try to update again soon with real new chapter!

Sorry for the wait and enjoy!:)

Chapter 14: Physical Pain

Kai's POV

My throat felt like it'd been rubbed down with sandpaper. What day was it? When was the last time I had moved? I remembered Cole coming in a little bit ago; he'd clearly taken a shower based off the damp hair and the towel wrapped around his waist. But I hadn't acknowledged his presence until he actually spoke to me. Part of that was because I didn't know if my voice would even work. Thank goodness, it had. That would've been embarrassing, not that being embarrassed was high on my list of things to worry about.

I was constantly made aware of the annoying thump of my heartbeat against my chest. My head throbbed, feeling like it could burst at any minute, and my eyes burned from lack of sleep, maybe.

Everytime I thought about...the incident, everytime I pictured her in my head, saw her smiling face, I wanted to puke. Or hit something. Or hurl myself off the Bounty, land on the ground in my Blade Cycle, and drive until I couldn't focus anymore. Honestly, I might even be fine with landing on the ground without my…

A knock sounded on the door. I winced at a stabbing pain in my head, holding back a small cry of pain. Ever since the funeral, I often experienced literal, physical pain, as if the emotional pain in my heart was transferring to my actual body. Whoever was at the door spoke, asking for permission to enter.

I didn't want to get up. I knew it would hurt too much.

"Kai? I am coming in. I would just like to talk to you," the voice continued.

I heard the creak of the door as it was swung open, and my body suddenly jolted as I realized who it was out of the corner of my eye. Sensei. Where had he been? Why hadn't he been here comforting everyone? Yet even those questions hardly mattered as I remembered what he did, how this, how everything was all his fault.

My jaw clenched, right hand turning into a fist while the left gripped the quilt beneath me with tight fingers. He should not have come in here; I knew at the very least, I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue.

"There you are, Kai. Your leader said I might find you here."

Had Sensei always sounded that insidious? And why did he address Cole as "your leader?" I shrugged, trying to brush it off; it had to be nothing, after all this was still our Sensei. Even if I was...filled with rage towards him...in my heart I knew he wasn't evil. He cared about us. Right?

"What do you want, Sensei?" I said, literally biting my tongue immediately, attempting to hold myself at bay. Hold myself back from some very choice words.

"I came to ask how you were faring after your sister's death. I know how much she meant to you."

No shi-. No. Hold yourself together. I breathed in through my nose then blew out through my mouth, trying to get a hold of my anger.

His voice was frickin annoying right now. So calm and regal. It sounded like the normal Sensei really, but right now, it made me bristle. I hated when anyone asked if I was okay. What was the point? Obviously I'd still be grieving my sister's death, which happened what, a week ago? But otherwise I was completely fine! I could handle myself...even though the still small, oh-so-quiet voice in the back of my head was saying...you can't.

"Kai?" Sensei questioned kindly. "Perhaps you could sit up, and we could discuss what is troubling you."

What's troubling me? What's-

I clamped down on my tongue and released it. I couldn't explode, couldn't let my control slip away in front of Sensei. Couldn't show weakness. Not to the one who started it all.

"I'm sorry, Sensei," I said. "I'm not in the mood to talk." My sounded hoarse and weak. Not exactly what I was going for, but at least it wasn't bitter or angry. Not that I would've cared too much if it was. But losing control was seen as weak and unstable...and I was neither of those things. (I was fine. Icouldhandlemyself.)

"Very well, then. I will leave you to rest and grieve in silence."

I quirked an eyebrow. Grieve in silence. It just sounded weird, even coming from Sensei. Again, I just let it slide, my brain now too tired and my head too in pain to try to sort anything out.

His footsteps and the tapping of his bo staff were the only sounds I heard as I fell asleep. I'd found I could do that very easily lately. Maybe I was sick. (Heartsick.) But I wasn't about to admit that to anyone, not Cole, not Sensei. Not even myself.

Cole's POV

Zane and I stood outside the bunkroom door, our backs pressed against the wall in case Sensei were to look out into the hallway. I steadied my breathing, listening closely to the conversation.

"There you are, Kai. Your leader said I might find you here," Sensei's voice said.

I tensed. First he calls Jay and Kai by their elemental titles, now I'm just "leader?" It didn't bother me as much as the impersonal names he used for my brothers, but it still hurt a little. Still bothered me. And made me even more wary.

Finally, Kai spoke, and I was relieved to at least hear his voice.

"What do you want, Sensei?" He clipped.

Kai was definitely upset, probably holding back anger and choice words. I didn't blame him, I'd been tempted before and probably had similar thoughts. How everything was Sensei's fault. I mean he had literally allowed her to go out and die! He hadn't listened to any of our complaints, hadn't even cared really. Which got me wondering if even cared about us. After all these years, did he really not-

"I came to ask how you were faring after your sister's death. I know how much she meant to you."

Oh. I hadn't been expecting that. Sensei was...was seeing if Kai was alright, but…

I shared a look with Zane. His brow was furrowed, but his eyes had softened. He was still confused, but probably realized what I just had. We probably jumped too quickly to conclusions.

But there were still questions. Why had Sensei so mysteriously left right after her funeral? Why had he allowed her to take that mission? Why hadn't he cared about any of our protests? And most importantly, why was he just now trying to comfort our team? Shouldn't he have done that since the night that she died? Like Zane and I had been doing?

We'd been forced to play counselor, parent, friend, teammate, brother, teacher, and leader all in one...Sensei left us all alone to that! What kind of teacher did that? Was he trying to teach us something? But what? What kind of cruel lesson was he trying to teach us? That you can't count on anyone to help you in your time of need? That you're often going to be alone when you so desperately need someone wiser to help you?

I bristled again, then realized I was missing out on the conversation. I focused back in; this was more important than my hurt and bitterness and questions right now. Kai was more important.

"...discuss what's troubling you," Sensei was saying.

Um! What did he think was troubling Kai?

I was proud of Kai for what he said next.

"I'm sorry, Sensei. I'm not in the mood to talk." And though his voice was raspy and weak, he said it with class.

"Very well, then. I will leave you to rest and grieve in silence." Grieve in silence? That was kind of harsh, wasn't it?

"Cole," Zane whispered hurriedly.

Oh right, we couldn't let Sensei know we'd been eavesdropping. I took a step towards the left, which was stupid because I ended up right in line of the door which Sensei was currently exiting.

"Hello, boys," Sensei addressed us.

He didn't look surprised to see us waiting by the door. Had he known we would follow him? Had he wanted us to? ...Had he known we were there?

"Hi, Sensei," I said. He moved past Zane, his bo staff tapping across the ground with every few steps.

"Perhaps you should go comfort your friend," Sensei spoke over his shoulder. "He would not talk to me."

I clenched my jaw. Why the heck do you think that is? As Sensei brushed past me, I reeled in my anger, preparing myself to check on Kai myself.

But suddenly, the Bounty lurched and I threw out my hands to grip the door frame before I could fall flat on my face. A piercing wail filled the ship, red lights flashing as the alarm bells alerted us of nearby danger or a distress signal. No. We couldn't handle this right now.