HEADUPS! I DON'T OWN THIS SONG IN THIS CHAPTER. I DID NOT WRITE, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS SONG, EXCEPT THAT I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART! I FOUND THE SONG FITTING FOR THIS WHOLE SITUATION AND I WAS INSPIRED BY IT! THE SONG IS MOMENTS BY ONE DIRECTION AND AGAIN…I DO NTO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS SONG!
Entry 14
Shut the door
Turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands
Touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgment's clouded
Like tonight's sky
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life You know I'll be Flashing lights in my mind There's a numb in my toes There's a pile of my clothes As I feel myself fall You know I'll be You know I'll be
For one more day
If we could only turn back time
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
Standing close to the edge
At the end of your bed
Make a joke of it all
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Kendall gently set the guitar down by his chair and gripped onto the neck, making his knuckles white. I quietly cleared my throat and watched him turn his head down. Three days, no change from Logan, Logan's mom still in Texas, and finally the song done. The one thing Logan has ever asked of me. And he wasn't awake to hear it. Both Kendall and I turned to the door, hearing it squeak open. I smiled small and stood up, watching the doctor walk in before closing the door. He had both hands in his pockets and sat in the seat next to me. I sat back down and the doctor sighed small. "How are you guys doing?" I turned to Kendall and he remained looking at the ground, and I shrugged my shoulders.
"As best as we can I guess." The doctor nodded and I sat back. "Anything new on Logan?" The doctor turned to me and scrunched his eyebrows.
"We ran another CT scan on him. We found something that we couldn't see before." My stomach did a million flips and he sat back as well. "When he was hit, the impact of the truck, bashed into his head. Very hard. It broke skin and he had to have stiches, but because we couldn't see right away, we didn't see the damage done on the inside. Until now." I raised a hand and set my forehead in it. I didn't like hearing any of this, and as soon as this guy started explaining what was actually wrong, it was going to get worse. "His brain was hit actually really hard, and it caused a traumatic brain injury. A TBI is caused by an external force, like being hit by a truck. It caused the brain to move inside the skull which then damaged his brain. We now realized this is why he is in a coma and unfortunately we have no clue when he will wake up." I stole a glance at Kendall who was silently staring at Logan letting a few tears fall. I then turned to Logan and felt my heart pick up speed.
"What…what can happen when he does wake up?" I closed my eyes turning away from all three of them, not wanting to hear or see the doctor answer Kendall's question.
"If…he wakes up, he can suffer memory loss, physical disabilities, difficultly understanding things, seizures. There is a high possibility he will have to depend on others for the very rest of his life." My heart broke for the 15th time in the past hour and I opened my eyes, only staring at Logan. "He will have to re learn how to walk, talk, read, write…he'll be starting over essentially."
"How often do people wake up from a coma and not have any of those problems?" I turned to see Kendall looking at the doctor hopeful. He was getting his hope sup too high.
"Well…I've never had a patient wake up with no problems. The smallest problem he could have is memory loss, but the likely hood of something like that happening in this case, is very slim."
"But it could happen?" I sat up and shook my head at Kendall unable to believe he could be this naive.
"Kendall…stop. We don't even know if he's going to wake up." Kendall glared at me and the doctor cleared his throat, and stood.
"Boys, I don't' want you to lose hope. He is very strong, and I have complete faith in his recovery. He is going to need both of you here, and both of you need to keep a level head. Do not give up on him, please." I looked up at the doctor and slowly stood. A loud beep went off in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out. He sighed and looked back to us. "I need to check on another patient. I'll be back boys. Remember keep hope alive." He gently squeezed my shoulder and walked out, shutting the door softly behind him. I sat back down and sighed out hard staring at Logan.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I ignored him but heard him starting to pace. "Logan is going to wake up, and he is going to be okay. He will remember everything, he will go to school, graduate and then go to Harvard like he dreamed."
"And what if he doesn't?" We both turned to each other and he looked pissed. Like beyond pissed. "Kendall you need to think hard about this. There is a huge possibility he won't wake up. And even if he does he'll live the rest of his life starting over."
"No James. It's not going to happen like that! I won't let it happen like that!"
"Grow up Kendall! This is real now oaky! And when he wake sup we need to be there for him, no matter what!" He stared down at me, his face slowly turning into sadness. I stood up and pointed to Logan. "If he wakes up and there is something wrong with him, you need to be strong for him."
"I can't lose him James…" His voice was barely a whisper and I lowered my arm. I slightly shook my head and sat back in my seat.
"You aren't going to. If we have to sit at this hospital next to this bed for the rest of our lives we will. And I will not leave you to go through this alone." He stared over at me and softly nodded. I reached out, grabbed Logan's hand and gently squeezed it. I put my head down and set it in my other hand. I sighed out and closed my eyes. I felt tired and probably could fall asleep once more, but Kendall seemed to on edge and I couldn't really leave him alone. I yawned though and started to let the sandman drift me to sleep when I felt a small squeeze. I sighed and smiled small. "Come on Kendall. Let's just get some sleep."
"What are you talking about?" I lifted my head and felt another squeeze. Except Kendall was across the bed, both hands in his front sweater pockets. "Dude you could use some sleep…you're going cra…"
"Kendall?" We both turned to the top of the bed fast to see two small, brown eyes poking through half closed eyelids. "Ken…where am I? Why…why does my head hurt?" Kendall rose up slowly and reached out for Logan's other hand. He took it and I saw Logan squeezed hard. "It's…too bright in here." His eyes closed again and he sighed out.
"Logan…are…are you…how do you feel?"
"Sore. Where am I?"
"In the hospital…do you not remember what happened?" I stood up as well, still holding his hand and looked to Kendall. "James…what do we do?" I opened my mouth and as I started to talk my hand was let go of.
"Who is that?" My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I looked down at Logan. He looked confused and a little afraid. "Kendall…what the hell is going on?" I fell back in my seat and saw Kendall lean down and hold the side of his face gently.
"Logan…that's James…he's your…boyfriend." Kendall sounded pained saying it but what was worse was the small smile on Logan's face and then the words that came out of his mouth.
"Funny joke Kenny…we've been together since we were 7." Kendall glanced to me fast and I tried not to, but I cried anyway. As the tears fell, Logan turned to me and the smile faded. "Wait…seriously?" He turned back to Kendall who nodded small. Logan continued to look at him until the door opened.
"How are you…" The doctor stopped half way seeing Logan awake and smiled huge. "Mr. Mitchell. You're awake!" The doctor walked right to him standing right in front of me, blocking our view of each other. Which was fine because…I couldn't stand to see him anymore.
Surprised? Me too. I thought it was bad to see him unresponsive and sick looking. But to have him awake, see him smile, and hear his voice, and not know who the hell I was, was life destroying. How could any of us recover from this? Logan thought Kendall was still his boyfriend. He didn't even know my name, and fro some reason, I was starting to like Kendall a lot more then Logan. A strange turn of events…
AGAIN…I DON'T OWN ANYTHGIN IN THIS CHAPTER!