Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Fox & Friends.

I was awesome today, as always, but I made a rather unawesome decision. I came with West to a G8 summit. And none of them could get along! France and England fought like an old married couple and America just acted like an idiot. I'm used to Italy, but America's idiocy is just stupid. I hold out no hope for the future if these nations stay powerful.

Somehow, the nations decided that the way to go temporarily was to ignore the lurking question of who it was that ratted them out and focus on public image. Canada agreed not to be self-sacrificial.

"Do we know what we are doing?" Germany asked over another video chat.

"Yes, Germany," everyone chorused.

"Prussia, are you sure you don't want to take part in this? Romano is."

"I'm sure, West."

"Okay," Germany agreed. "But really, what's the matter? I would have thought you'd never pass up a chance to be in the spotlight."

"No. I'm good. Really, Bruder. I've grown out of that."

Austria snorted. "That's not likely."

"Let's get back on track," Germany said. "Everyone put in the number of the news station you have chosen, but don't press 'talk'"

"This isn't fair," America whined. "It's like five in the morning in my earliest time zone." He was ignored.

"On the count of three," Germany continued. "One…"

The nations' hearts pounded harder than ever. This was worse than going to war. This was worse than everything, because it had never happened before.

"Two…"

Prussia stared at America and Canada, who were sitting not two meters away from him, but knew that if he were to speak, neither would respond. He wondered briefly if he'd made the wrong decision.

"Three!"

And the anthropomorphic personifications of every current nation pressed the 'talk' button on their phones. There was no going back.

"This is Fox News, Fox & Friends. If you would like to make a statement on air, please call–"

"Hi sweetie," America interrupted the female voice on the other end of the line. "I'm so sorry you have to be up this early. I would like to make a statement on air, actually, but I don't want to have to call another number. I am the personification of the United States of America."

"What?"

"I meant what I said," America said. "Can you get me on air?"

"Uh–hang on a minute, Sir."

"You take all the time you need."

"And today we have a surprise phone interview with the personification of the United States himself. Hello, this is Brian Kilmeade. What should I call you?"

"Hi Brian. Just call me America. Don't worry, it doesn't offend Canada. He calls me that too."

Brian laughed. "So you just called this morning with no warning. We don't actually know if you're the real thing. Why today? Why now?"

"Well, it wasn't my decision, but I'll talk about that in a minute. First I'd like to stress that I chose this channel not because of any political bias this network may or may not have, but because it is currently the most popular American news network. And Brian, I'd appreciate it if you stayed unbiased until I hang up, okay?"

"I think I can handle that, America. So you were telling us why it wasn't your decision to go public now?"

"Oh yeah! Right now the most popular televised news or newspaper in every country is being notified by the personification who they are. Which I guess would be easier if you could see me." America chuckled. "Hang on, I'll send you a picture of me."

"Great. In the meantime, can you tell me how the personifications work?"

"You know, I would love to, if I myself knew. All I know is that I came into existence sometime in the late sixteenth or seventeenth century."

"Ah! We've received your photograph, America. Are you watching?"

"No. Canada's on the phone with CBC Television right now, and we've only got the one t.v."

"That's okay. Folks, this is your country."

The photograph America had sent wasn't a very good one. It had been taken in 2005 on a little flip phone, back when cell phones with cameras were called camera phones. It showed him grinning with his arm wrapped around England, who was only half in the picture.

"Who's the man with you, America?"

"Hm? Oh, that's just Iggy. England, I mean. I call him Iggy 'cuz the Japanese word for England is Igirisu. You can probably listen to him on BBC right now."

"Do you speak many languages, America?"

"Oh yeah. We all do. I've got English, French, German, Russian, Manderin, Japanese, Spanish, Hindi, Italian, a little Dutch, Finnish, and Swedish, which means I pretty much also know a little Danish and Norwegian because of the Swedish, and maybe some Native American languages if I can remember them."

"Those languages don't always correlate with the most commonly spoken languages."

"That's because when us nations are all together, like for a World Meeting or something, we pretty much only use the Big Three: Manderin, Spanish, and English, and also Italian because Italy doesn't know many others and Romano never bothered to learn. The other ones I've picked up based on who I spend time with. I mean, my bro and France are always talking to me in French, so I know that, and Russian I picked up during the Cold War, and German during World War Two sometime–I wasn't in World War One for long enough to learn it then. So yeah."

"Your brother is Canada?"

"Yep! We're twins. I'm the younger one, even though my birthday was years and years before his. You know, American Independence Day and Canada Day."

"Who's this Romano?"

"Ah, he's just South Italy. Don't ask me why there's two of them."

"What political party do you support?"

America laughed. "I'd rather not discuss that. I've only voted three times in my life, and those were for FDR's first three terms, and everyone voted for him. I'll let you decide what political party I support more."

"So do nations have friends?"

"Friends? Of course we have friends. Well, I'm the only one with Friends, but you know what I mean."

"What?"

"I made a pun. Never mind. My best friends are England, Canada, and Japan. I have alliances with other nations, but I'm not necessarily friends with them."

"How does history affect friendship? The United States hasn't always gotten along with the countries you listed as your best friends."

"Oh. Well, of course it affects friendship. Me and Japan were friends before World War Two, so naturally I was hurt when he bombed Pearl Harbor. I may have gotten a bit swept up in my emotions, though. You know, with Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Guys, if you're ever hurt by a friend, don't spend years developing weapons of mass destruction with some of the smartest people in the world. It isn't a healthy reaction. Also, England's still pretty pissed about the Revolution. He rarely attends my birthday parties."

"How does that work? Were you England's colonies, France's territory, or Spain's?"

"That's a difficult question to answer, Brian. Obviously, a lot of different countries settled in different parts of me. I was British America before I was independent, but once I bought the Louisiana territory, I got a little French-ish. Actually, when I was a baby, Finland and Sweden just wanted to have some peace in my land, but the Netherlands was mistreating them. They kept seeing me around, so they told France and England about me, and a bunch of nations got in a fight over who would be my big brother. England eventually won the fight, so he became my big brother. He wasn't around much, since he had a bunch of other colonies and his own country to run, but we were close. Until we weren't."

"Does the president know of your existence?"

"Well, duh! What do you think I'm doing with my life?"

"How does war affect you?"

"War? If it's on my own land, I get pretty hurt."

"How about natural disasters?"

"Okay. Let me outline this for you. If my people are killed by other people, I feel it more than a natural disaster. The severity of the natural disaster affects how much I'm affected, and how many people die does too."

"Are you affected by destruction of land?"

"Yes, but I'm essentially the people, so if no one is killed, I don't feel much. There are exceptions, though. Most notably if it happens to be important to a lot of people. I was hurt when the Old Man of the Mountain fell, though not as much as I would be if the Statue of Liberty flooded like in that really scary movie. When England and Canada burnt down the White House in 1814, I was in pain. Oh! And also, if Pearl Harbor is bombed again and nobody dies, I will be hurt more than I would have been if nobody died the first time, because it's now a nationally noted thing in a way it wasn't back in 1941."

"Do any countries bear grudges against you based on something that happened in history?"

"No doubt, dude! I already told you about England and the Revolution, but there's also Mexico because of Texas, and you know, a bunch of countries. Anyone I've affected at all, really. And I'm pretty sure Prussia still upset about everyone just deciding not to help his nation, you know, become a nation again and for letting him just go to Russia."

Prussia, listening to America's side of the conversation, widened his eyes. America noticed this. "Shit! I wasn't supposed to talk about that! Sorry about that. Sorry. Gotta go." America hung up in a rush. "Sorry, Prussia."

"It's okay," Prussia said. "Prussia could be anyone. He could be dead, for God's sake! You haven't revealed anything."

America was obviously relieved. "That's good," he said. "I gotta go pee." He started to head to the bathroom.

"America," Prussia said. "I'm not mad at you. What I mean is, I've been mad at you a lot, but I'm not mad at you about that."

America grinned. "That's good to hear," he said, before rushing off to the bathroom.

Fox & Friends is something on Fox News that shows in the early morning. I've never seen it because 1. I'm an early riser compared to other people my age, but I don't wake up that early and 2. I was raised in an extremely liberal part of the country and picked up that Fox=evil Republicans, despite the fact that my parents taught me nothing anything of the sort. My dad actually considers himself a swing voter. It's just that the Bush administration is the Republican administration I remember. Sorry if you like Bush.
It is America's interview because I am American and I wanted to do the least amount of Googling possible for this chapter. (Also, I have a suspicion that Google is country specific.) Besides which, America and Canada are still at Prussia's, so we get some Prussia in there.

I now have over fifty reviews! The fiftieth reviewer was either a random guest reviewer who didn't even come up with a name like sourpuss squid or guest reviewer Whitlinger, who may or may not be Anna Whitlinger. (I've never been sure if it is or not, so if you could tell me in your next review, that would be great.) The reason I'm not sure is that I got a review in a PM response to my reply to a review. But anyway, thank you all so much for your reviews! It really means so much to me. I never expected so many reviews. Of course, this means all of you that have spoiled me with them are going to have to read everything else I write because now I'll be crushed if I don't get reviews.

This Author's Note is getting much too long, but I have to tell you that this story has six-ish chapters left. This includes the Epilogue. I know. I'm almost done writing the thing! Next update is going to be on Canada Day, and then one on Independence Day, and then one on July 8, then July 11, then Bastille Day, then the epilogue I'll post sometime after that. Like the sixteenth or seventeenth, probably.

So this chapter is pretty much me getting my ideas about the nations out there. If you want to give your own opinions, I'd love to hear about them in review. *hint, hint*