Sleeping Jashinist
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Although Hidan's cold had disappeared overnight, his mood was still pretty bad. In particular he was annoyed about being pinned to the ground, and it was unlikely he was going to let it go anytime soon.
"You're a fucking asshole and I hate you" Hidan was sitting at a safe distance, on the other side of the room.
"I was helping you, at least you feel better"
"You're still a cock"
Shikamaru just decided to ignore him, as he seemed to thrive on attention. He didn't have time for this idiocy either as his friends were coming round that night. They were going to watch movies, drink a few beers, and generally have a good night. Though really it was really just an excuse for Kiba to moan about how Hinata never pays any attention to him, and for Choji to give Sasuke a tough time for taking Ino's attention.
Most of his friends were obsessed with women, especially Kiba, although Naruto and Sasuke obviously didn't have that problem. Suigetsu was also women obsessed, though most of them knew he had a crush on a friend of Sasuke's older brother. It was also common knowledge that Karin, who practically stalked Sasuke, had a 'secret' crush on Sakura.
Wow... My friends have such complicated love lives...
"Why do your shitty friends have to come round?"
"Because they're my friends, so can you try to be nice?"
"Only if they're not pricks!"
"Fine, just don't start anything"
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Sadly it was impossible for Hidan not to start something. This time it was Sasuke he started on.
"Hey fuckface, do you know your hair looks like a chicken's ass?"
Naruto could barely stand he was laughing so much. Sasuke on the other hand looked really pissed off.
"You really need to put a muzzle on your dog Shikamaru, or maybe a choke chain would be better?" He then stalked off in a rage, leaving Shikamaru to deal with Hidan who was scowling.
"I hate that asshole!"
"Just shut up, before I decide to try out the choke chain" After yesterday, Hidan wasn't taking any chances so he wisely left it.
"I bought booze!" Kiba was looking pretty proud of himself. "I stole it from my sister's stash"
"Her stash?"
"Eh-yep, she has a stash of alcohol in her room, along with... other things"
"Don't tell me I really don't want to know!" Choji shuddered and began opening the bags.
They passed out the beers and began flicking through the DVD's. Hidan sat in the corner, watching and scowling.
"Hey crazy guy, want a beer?" Naruto held out the can invitingly.
"No! Don't give him beer!" Shikamaru hissed, but nobody seemed to care. If he was this bad normally, how bad would he be drunk? Or with a hangover?
"Stop calling me crazy!" Hidan stormed over and snatched the beer, and sat with the others.
"Just don't drink it too fast!" Once again Shikamaru was ignored and the imbecile downed half the can in one go. He gave him a look as if he was daring the other to do anything about it.
Someone else can deal with him tonight thought Shikamaru sipping his beer. He's immortal anyway; I doubt he can get very drunk.
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When it came to Hidan, it was like Shikamaru always got things astoundingly wrong. They had all got a little tipsy at least. They had started watching Jurassic Park, and no one was really paying attention. Naruto had fallen asleep, and Kiba was doodling on his face, whilst Sasuke enjoyed fondling the oblivious blonde. Choji was ignoring the others, and staring forlornly at his phone. They had all considered confiscating his phone so he didn't make a drunken call to Ino again, but he'd promised a fist to the face to anyone who'd even try it.
Shikamaru sat slightly off from the others watching the movie. He was tired, and just wanted to relax, not caring what the others got up to. Instead of fussing around Hidan, he simply left him to it. It's not as if he wasn't an adult, he could look after himself. Speaking of Hidan, actually he'd been suspiciously silent most of the night. After the first 2 or 3 beers he'd distanced himself slightly, ignoring the others. It wasn't known how much alcohol he'd consumed after that, but it was definitely more than the others. He'd probably passed out, but Shikamaru thought he should check on him as he was getting a little worried about him the more he thought about it.
He didn't have to look very far to find him. Unknown to him, Hidan had moved so he was sitting just over a foot away from him on the sofa, so when Shikamaru turned he jumped. Hidan's face was slightly flushed, and his stare was kind of blank. Although he was looking at the TV, it didn't look like he was taking anything in. It was a little worrying actually.
"Err, Hidan?" He looked away from the TV and stared at Shikamaru. "Are you... Ok?" There wasn't really anything else he could say. Hidan grinned looking a little maniacal as he did.
"I'm fucking awesome! Everything's fucking great!" His words were a little slurred but not that bad. He glanced down and seemed to just realise that he was still holding his drink, as he decided to down the remnants of it.
"Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore?" It was a little worrying to see this.
"Why?" Hidan giggled to himself. "Why? Why? Why? Why? Whhhhhhyyy?" He laughed.
"That's exactly why" Shikamaru decided to move any remaining drinks away from him. Not that there was much to move. Almost all of it was empty. "How much have you drank? You're so troublesome" Hidan just giggled.
At least he's... happy?
"Hey Sshikka?" He bought his face dangerously close, and Shikamaru was a little worried.
"Want something?"
"You're my favourite"
"Err, that's nice. Thank you Hidan"
"Heeyyyy"
"What?"
"What about meee?"
"What about you?" Shikamaru didn't really like dealing with crazy people on his own. He tended to freeze up in situations like this.
"Am I your favourite too?" Hidan gave him what he obviously thought was a cute look.
"I suppose so..." Hidan grinned and happily glomped him. "Gah! Get off you idiot!"
"Dun wanna" Hidan pouted and gripped him tighter.
Oh god. I'm going to be crushed by a moron.
"Hey Shika?" Sasuke was standing over them with his eyebrows raised. "We're all gonna be leaving now, will you be ok?"
"Err..." Please don't leave me alone with this psychopath.
"Yeah, go awaaay. I want Shiiikaa" Hidan slurred gripping him tighter.
"I'll walk you guys out!" He managed to get loose of Hidan's grip and dashed to the front door.
"Will you be ok with him?" Choji seemed a little worried. The other two were holding up a still unconscious Naruto.
"Yeah I'll be fine" He hoped anyway. "See ya later Choji"
When he walked back into the lounge Hidan was staing intently at the TV. It had come to the part where the lawyer was eaten by the escaped T-rex. It appeared that Hidan found this absolutely hilarious.
"That guy! He just- He just..." Hidan broke off from laughing so hard.
Shikamaru sat and watched the movie, ignoring the hysterical idiot. After a while he stopped laughing, and made his way over to the sofa. Shikamaru tried to remain still in the hope that Hidan would leave him alone if he didn't react. That was wishful thinking. He draped his arms, over the other's shoulders. You could smell the strong stench of alcohol on his breath.
"Shiiiiikaaaa~" Hidan purred into his ear. Shikamaru shuddered slightly, feeling nervous. He had no reason to be though. This guy was an idiot.
"Wh-what is it?" He couldn't help but stammer slightly. Hidan buried his face into his neck and sighed.
"Do you hate me?" Shikamaru turned his head to see the idiot looking right into his eyes. It was very off-putting.
"You know I don't hate you" His mouth felt dry. This was so awkward. If only the guy would just pass out so he could move. Hidan gave a happy grin.
"I don't hate you too!"
"Ok, now that you've sorted that can we go to bed?" Hidan simply stared at him.
Please move idiot!
Sadly everything was against him at that moment. Instead of moving like he'd hoped, Hidan leant in closer. Shikamaru tried to back away but the sofa was there trapping him. One moment, Shikamaru was trying to break free; the next Hidan was kissing him. Shikamaru froze unable to believe what was happening.
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