This is definitely my fastest update yet, and I don't know what drove me to write this fast. This chapter just really got me, and I couldn't stop writing. I definitely had fun, so I hope you like this chapter!
If you ask various people what word comes to mind when they think about me, I'm sure the answers would be quite different from what I would think of.
Mom would think of "precious", and Dad would think of something like "angel" or something. Tsubomi would say "cute", Kousuke would say "paper cranes", and Shuuya would say "older sister". Ene, Konoha, Marry, and Hibiya would say "kind", and Momo and Actor would say "heroes". Shintaro would say something like "stupid", haha...
But if you ask me, I would not say "heroes", "older sister", or "kind", although those are words that represent me quite well. What I truly think of first when I think about myself is "happiness".
I've never been a smart person; I'm actually rather a big fool. I'm not good at my studies like Shintaro, and I'm not good at sports either. I'm clumsy and I fall a lot as well, and it doesn't seem like I have something I'm really good at. I don't know much about a single topic in depth, except heroes, which I've taken a liking to ever since I was young. But there's just something about happiness that attracts me. I even have a theory about happiness, and I have a quite straightforward name for it:
Ayano's Theory of Happiness.
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Ever since I was young, I've liked the idea of happiness. The thought of putting smiles on people's faces made me smile, and I loved making Mom and Dad laugh. I grew up very happily with only my parents until I was six, when Mom and Dad adopted three kids.
Their names are Tsubomi Kido, Kousuke Seto, and Shuuya Kano.
Tsubomi was the only girl and the eldest by a few months. She looked like a boy at first sight with her beautiful green hair cut short and her masculine clothing, but if you look closely, she's a really beautiful girl.
Kousuke was the eldest boy, and he was a really kind one. Kousuke loved animals, and he would be so gentle with them.
Shuuya was the youngest of the three. He had cat-like eyes and always had a smile on his face. He was a jokester and he tries to make everyone laugh.
"Ayano's the big sister, so take care of everyone!" My mom had told me. The young Ayano Tateyama, naive and striving for the happy faces of everyone around me, had nodded enthusiastically. I was sure my new siblings would be amazing people that I would love, and I wasn't wrong; but I had noticed they weren't quite happy about their pasts.
That was when my view of "happiness" grew solid.
"Nee-chan, why did you guys decide to adopt us?" asked Shuuya all of a sudden. I looked up from the hero storybook I was reading. Tsubomi and Kousuke averted their gazes, their scarlet eyes seemingly focusing on something else. Shuuya was looking at me and smiling, but I sensed there was something hiding under the smile, some sadness I did not know about.
"I've always wanted siblings, so you could imagine how happy I was when Mom and Dad told me I would be getting three younger siblings!" I said, smiling.
"Then you really don't know about our pasts, do you, Nee-chan?" he asked. Tsubomi and Kousuke visibly flinched. It was only a slight movement, but I noticed it. I set the storybook on the ground and looked into Shuuya's eyes, smiling firmly.
"You're right, Shuuya. I don't know anything about what happened to everyone before we met. But all that matters now is the present, not the past, right?" I said.
"But Onee-chan... We... We all have caused bad things to happen to the people close to us... W-We're monsters..." said Tsubomi.
"The red of our eyes... This red... Has caused so much... This beautiful, cursed scarlet..." said Kousuke. My eyes widened, but then I smiled.
"Look at this, Tsubomi, Kousuke, Shuuya!" I said, holding up the hero storybook. Everyone looked up. The page showed the main hero of the story saving the children.
"Red isn't a cursed color! Look! Red... is the color of heroes!" I said, smiling. I set the storybook down in front of them. "Wait a second!" I ran out of the room and came back seconds later, wearing the red scarf Mom got me for Christmas.
"Look! Red is such a beautiful color, especially when heroes wear it while saving the day!" I said. I cleared my throat and started speaking in a much exaggerated voice. "Are you the kids that have been trapped in sadness? Don't worry, I will destroy those monsters of sadness haunting you! Hero Red, here at your service!" Tsubomi, Kousuke, and Shuuya looked at each other and started laughing. I wondered why they were laughing, but looking at them finally laugh so happily made me happy too. I joined into their laughter, and thought:
What a great feeling happiness is...!
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"Tsubomi! Kousuke! Shuuya!" I shouted, running to them. My three siblings stood in the rain in front of our middle school. They've just become first years in middle school, and they've been so happy, until now...
"Onee-chan!" said Tsubomi. I threw my arms around Tsubomi and Kousuke, dropping my umbrella onto the floor. We stood in tight embrace, not knowing if the water running down our faces were tears or raindrops anymore. The rain made our hair dripping wet, our clothes stick to our skin, and our bodies shiver with the cold. Shuuya held his umbrella up for us, shielding us from the merciless rain.
"It's alright... Everything's alright now..." I said, reassuring them.
"We got the phone call... They said Mom and Dad got into an accident at work... And that they still haven't woken up yet..." said Kousuke.
"Why... Why is it that these things always happens to us?" said Tsubomi. "We've found a new family, and we thought we could leave our pasts already, but this... Why?" I hugged them closer to me, hoping my embrace would be able to do something for them.
Have I failed to give them happiness?
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Mom and Dad still haven't woken from their coma. It's been a week already, and although their heartbeats have been constant, they still haven't been able to open their eyes. After visiting them the first day, we didn't go to the hospital. We made sure the nurse would call us when they wake up. Yes, I said "when". I believed with my whole heart that they would wake up. Because if they didn't... That would be too sad!
Mom wouldn't be able to see us again if she didn't wake up. She wouldn't be able to cook our meals, read us stories, or share jokes. She would never be able to return to this house made of crimson bricks, and she would not be able to see the rest of the world.
Dad wouldn't be able to act as the antagonist in our games anymore. He wouldn't be able to go to our school to teach again. I heard he had two students in the "special needs classroom", two students he loved spending time with.
They had to wake up. They just had to...!
During the days Mom and Dad weren't in the house, I took over all the housework. I made the meals, I washed the clothes and the dishes, and I cleaned the house. I didn't feel any resentment about having to do all the chores; Instead, I felt happy that I was able to do something for everyone.
Out of the three, Shuuya was the one who took the news best. He continued to smile through his days, even making jokes when nobody said anything, and he did all he could to lighten up the mood. However, I've heard him in his room, crying alone in the darkness at night. My heart was clenched with sadness whenever I heard the cries.
Was I not able to do anything for them?
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The moment we got the call from the hospital, we dashed straight to Mom and Dad's hospital room. We ran as fast as we could, not caring about the strange stares we got from the people on the streets. I have never ran this fast in my entire life.
"Mom! Dad!" I said, throwing open the door to the hospital room. My eyes immediately teared up. My parents sat upright in their hospital beds. Mom wasn't wearing those red clips that were the same as mine, and Dad wasn't wearing his glasses.
But they were there.
Mom.
Dad.
My parents.
Alive.
And well.
"Ah, Ayano! Tsubomi! Kousuke! Shuuya!" said Mom, smiling at each of us.
"Long time no see!" said Dad, laughing. My siblings immediately ran up to them. Looking at my parents talk happily with my siblings, I couldn't help but notice that each of my siblings had a smile on their face. A genuine, true smile, showing that they were overflowing with happiness. My parents also seemed greatly happy. I dropped to my knees, and tears flowed out of my eyes uncontrollably.
"Ayano? Are you okay?" asked Mom, looking worried.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" asked Dad. I shook my head. I was smiling, despite the tears that did not stop. I covered my face with my hands, crying.
"I'm so glad...!" I said. Everyone looked at each other, and smiled.
Sometimes happiness is a companion of relief, isn't it...?
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The first day of my third year as a middle schooler soon came, and time sure flies. I was going to be a high schooler soon! I couldn't believe it. It feels like I've been just a little kid just a while ago, and now I've come close to high school.
Today's also Tsubomi, Kousuke, and Shuuya's first day in their second year. I wonder if they'll be okay...
I found my seat, which was the one next to the window in the last row. I put down my bag and sat down. I had started wearing the red scarf ever since "that event" with my parents happened. Red is the color of heroes, and I wanted to be a hero that could save everyone from sadness. I looked up and saw that there was a girl sitting in front of me. She had her hair in twintails, which I thought was really cute. She was talking happily with a boy in the next seat, who was tall and pale. I decided to introduce myself to them. I tapped her on the back and she turned around.
"Nice to meet you! I'm Ayano Tateyama, and I'll be sitting behind you! I thought I'd say hello, haha... Hope we get along!" I said, smiling. Just faintly, I saw the girl smile.
"I'm Takane Enomoto. Nice to meet you." she said. Something clicked in my mind. I remember I've heard of this name... Dad often mentioned it. The boy also turned around in his seat.
"Hello! I'm Haruka Kokonose, nice to meet you!" he said. My eyes widened in recognition. These two were Dad's students from the special needs class! I heard they were transferring out into the normal classes from Dad! I nodded.
"Nice to meet you!" I said. I noticed that Takane had narrowed her eyes at the seat next to me. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a boy take a seat in the chair beside mine. I turned around to face him.
"Hi! I'm Ayano Tateyama, nice to meet you! What's your name?" I said. The boy looked the other way and ignored my words.
"Hey, at least answer her!" said Takane. The boy sighed.
"Shintaro Kisaragi." he said, after a moment's pause. I smiled brightly.
"Nice to meet you!" I said. "Now that we're all friends, I hope we all get along!" Takane and Haruka smiled and nodded, while Shintaro gave me a look of disgust and turned away, as if saying "who wants to be friends with people like you". I smiled.
I'm so happy to have friends...!
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This is bad, this is bad...
I thought last year's math questions were already super hard, but this...! I never even thought I would be able to look at this straight for ten minutes without fainting! What is this? This is way too hard!
"Your pencil hasn't moved since ten minutes ago." said a voice from next to me. I looked up, surprised. It was Shintaro. He had a bored expression on his face. I noticed that his notebook was filled with his answers, and that he was already done. Ah, Shintaro's really a genius... I smiled sheepishly.
"I'm kind of stuck on this problem, haha..." I said. Shintaro sighed and moved closer to my seat. He glanced at the problem I was stuck on. He explained it to me in a total different way the teacher had, and for some reason, that made sense to me.
"Oh! That makes so much more sense now! Thank you, Shintaro!" I said. Shintaro raised an eyebrow.
"On first name basis already?" he asked. I covered my mouth. Oh no! What if he got mad because I called him by his first name? Even though I already register him as a friend in my mind, he might not think the same way! This would just offend him even more and make him mad and he wouldn't want to be my friend even more!
"Oh, I'm sorry, um-" I started.
"It's alright...Ayano." Shintaro said, cutting me off. I looked at him, surprised. I didn't think Shintaro would forgive me that easily. I smiled slightly to myself, thinking that Shintaro had a cute side too. I widened my mouth into a huge smile. Shintaro blushed and turned away. I giggled, my face slightly red.
I may have found someone I like...
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"Mom, Dad, Nee-chan, we have something to say." said Shuuya. Tsubomi, Kousuke, and Shuuya all had serious expressions on their faces. Mom, Dad, and I looked at each other, wondering what was up.
"Sure." said Mom. "What is it you would like to say?" Kousuke looked down at his hands.
"We'd like to move out of this house." said Tsubomi, after a moment of hesitation. My eyes widened. What were they saying? What did they mean?
"We love you all, and this house, and I really mean it. But a bunch of friends of ours have been planning to rent an apartment together, and we would like to join them." said Kousuke.
"You mean the... 'Blindfold Gang'?" I asked. The Blindfold Gang was a newly formed gang that consisted of my siblings, Marry, Momo, Takane (who now goes by the name of Ene), Shintaro, Hibiya, and Haruka (who now goes by the name of Konoha). They decided to form this gang to defend themselves and simply to have fun.
"Yeah, the Blindfold Gang. It's going to be our base." said Shuuya. "Also, well, we've been a handful ever since around ten years ago, so we want to, what's the word? Ease your burden, I guess."
"You haven't been a handful, my dears. You've been my happiness." Mom finally spoke up. "But if that's what you want, your happiness is my happiness. Have fun with your friends!" Dad nodded along.
"We want what's best for you." said Dad.
"Mom, Dad..." said Tsubomi. The three of them got up and gave Mom and Dad a hug.
"If you ever need help or money or anything like that, don't be afraid to ask." said Dad. Shuuya nodded. After they released each other from the embrace, they turned to me.
"Don't worry, Onee-chan, it's not anything that you've done or anything like that. Onee-chan's been of such great help over the years, and you've never done anything that would anger us." said Tsubomi.
"I know our decision may cause you to think a lot, and overthink a lot too. It's definitely not Onee-chan's fault or anything like that." said Kousuke.
"We know that Nee-chan's been trying hard to get us to smile and laugh. You've tried so hard over these ten years to wipe away our sadness, to be the hero that saves us from sadness." said Shuuya. He smiled. "Nee-chan, we've gotten the "happiness" we deserved, and it's all thanks to you!" I smiled, the tears already threatening to fall out.
The thought of having given them happiness makes me so happy.
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"Um, Seiji... Kurozawa, was it?" I asked. "What is it?" I had been called up to the school rooftop by one of my previous classmates. We never really talked much and we've only had one class in my sophomore year last year, so I wasn't quite familiar with him.
"Yeah, Tateyama-san, my name's Seiji Kurozawa. Thank you for remembering it." he said, smiling. Something about that smile made me shiver.
"N-No problem..." I said, trying to maintain a smile. "So, what is it?" He took a few steps closer, and I stepped back until my back touched the bars.
"I really like you, Tateyama-san, will you go out with me?" he asked. I gasped. Was that a confession? To me? As a typical teenage high school girl, I've always dreamed of being confessed by someone. I was about to give him a chance when a face flashed across my mind. The face of one of my best friends, and someone I've been, well, in love with for what seemed like forever. He was smart, and although he seemed as if he was mean, he's actually just not good with expression his emotions. I really... Love him...
"I'm sorry, but I already have someone I like." I said, bowing. "I'd be glad to be friends with you, Kurozawa-kun, though." He bit his lip. I averted my gaze. I felt slightly sorry for him, but... I loved Shintaro.
"Is that so..." he murmured. "Everyone's the same, even you... I thought you'd be different... Everyone, everyone... They should all just go die!" His voice increased in volume, and he started pushing me back. He had great strength, and he managed to lift my feet from the ground. My body tumbled back, and I felt the sensation of falling. My eyes widened. I was falling.
And then everything went black.
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I blacked out for a few days, stuck in a coma from the fall. The bushes had cushioned my fall, so my life had been saved. I heard from Mom that it was Shintaro who had found me first and stayed by my side. I smiled, feeling a warm feeling in my heart that I recognized. It was happiness.
The moment I woke up, Mom and Dad hugged me, crying and crying. I hugged them back patted them, trying to comfort them. After a little bit of talking, they left to give me some rest, leaving a bouquet of flowers with me. I sat in the hospital bed, smiling at them.
"Ayano!" The door was suddenly flung open, and I looked up. It was Shintaro. He was panting and he looked really tired. He must have run all the way from school.
"Ah, Shintaro!" I said, my smile growing bigger. It had been a long time since I last saw him, and to be honest, I missed him. Shintaro quickly ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me. My eyes widened in surprise, and I could tell he was surprised by his own actions too.
"Are you hurt anywhere? Any wounds? Do they hurt? Are you alright? Do you need anything?" As soon as he released me, these questions tumbled out of his mouth. I couldn't help but laugh.
"That's the first time I've seen Shintaro this worried!" I said. I never thought Shintaro would get that worried over me, haha...
"...Of course I'd be worried if the girl I love got hurt!" he said. My eyes widened and both our cheeks turned red. I couldn't believe it. That meant... Did he mean... Could he mean...?
"...E-eh? Eh?! Th-The girl you love... E-eh?! Sh-Shintaro, do you have a fever? A-Are you sick? Oh, did you drink? Are you drunk, Shintaro? T-That's not good, you're still a minor!..." I stuttered.
"I'm not drunk! I'm serious!" he said. "I've been in love with you ever since eighth grade when we met! ...I love you, Ayano. W-Will you be my girlfriend?"
I couldn't believe it.
He had been in love with me for such a long time. Just like I was with him. He loved me! We loved each other! Tears rolled down my cheeks, but they weren't tears of sadness.
They were tears of happiness.
I nodded, my face breaking into a smile. The first confession I got didn't end well. But this one... I'm sure we'll reach a "happy end".
"Yes...!" I said. I took his hands in mine, and we smiled.
Shintaro, I love you!
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My theory on this topic, "Ayano's Theory of Happiness", is not complex, but it has taken up a great part of my life. It has also been influenced by many events that I went through.
Ever since I was little, I tried to be everyone's hero. I tried to be someone that would chase away sadness and bring along happiness instead. I wanted to make people laugh and smile all they wanted.
My first "patients" were my parents. I did everything I could to make them smile. I wanted them to be happy, and I wanted to do something for them. It's not easy raising kids, let alone one then four, so I wanted them to be happy during the process.
My second "patients" were my siblings. Tsubomi, Kousuke, and Shuuya had sad pasts that they wanted to leave but couldn't escape from. I tried and tried to put smiles on their faces; becoming their hero, wearing the red scarf, playing those hero games, pretending to be a lifesaver... I wanted them to be happy during the days ahead of them.
My third "patient" was Shintaro. He had been sad and slightly depressed, and I wanted my existence to brighten his future. I followed him around and tried everything to make him smile; and he eventually did. I wanted him to be happy no matter what happens in the future.
I've been the "older sister" figure for much of my life, and it is the older sister's duty to look out for the younger ones.
And here I present the most important part of "Ayano's Theory of Happiness":
"That happiness, ah, how strange it is... That feeling... And as tomorrow breaks, I hope you'll love it too."
Chapter 015: Otsukimi Recital
"Hey, Marry, have you seen Hibiya? I can't find him anywhere..." I said. Marry looked up from the storybook she was reading. She looked around and thought.
"I remember he headed out early this morning... He didn't look really happy..." she said. I furrowed my brows. That elementary schooler was never one of the energetic ones, but something about this didn't seem normal.
"Did he saw where he was going?" I asked. Marry thought harder.
"I think he mentioned visiting a girl...? When I asked him who she was, he just looked even sadder and didn't answer me..." she said. My eyes widened. "I wonder who she is..." Marry said. I turned around and looked at the calendar on the wall.
Of course. Why didn't I think of that?
"Thanks, Marry!" I said, dashing to the door.
"E-Eh? Momo-chan? Where are you going?" she asked. I quickly put on my shoes and opened the door.
"I'll be back!" I called out, and ran out.
That stupid elementary schooler, he must be breaking down now...
August 15th.
And when it comes to August 15th, Hibiya, and a girl, there's only one possibility of where he was going.
"He's visiting Hiyori Asahina's grave."
Did you like it? Did you like it? :)) I hope you liked this chapter, and as usual, review, favorite, follow, etc. :))) Thank you so much for sticking with me, we've got around 6 more chapters until the end!
~Chinnie Ai