14.

"You do realize that I have to get up eventually, right?"

Trip grinned at Sara. "I know, but eventually isn't right now, is it?"

"Jerk," Sara said, rolling over in bed and pretending to ignore him. She giggled as he pulled her towards him, and she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. "I really do have to get going. I have to feed Fuzzy before movie night, and I have reports I need to file too. Besides, keep it up, and someone's going to come investigate why I'm giggling so much."

"You're no fun, you realize that, right?"

"You weren't complaining about that five minutes ago," Sara said, sticking her tongue out at him. The communications panel near her door buzzed, and Phlox's voice filled the room.

"Sara, are you there?"

Sara jumped out of bed and put her bathrobe on, then looked at Trip and motioned for him to stay quiet. "I'm here, Phlox. What is it?"

"I need to pay a visit to Ensign Connors' quarters. Could you come in a little bit sooner to keep Sickbay under control? There's no telling how long it'll take me; god only knows what Ensign Connors has done to himself this time…"

Sara looked at the console, then looked at Trip and stuck her tongue out at him again. "Sure Phlox, I'll be there. I need ten minutes, though. Will that be all right?"

"Ten minutes is fine. Thank you, Sara."

"You're welcome," Sara said, closing out the communications. She searched the room for her standard issues, and then got dressed, ignoring Trip pouting in her bed.

"And I'm so easily forgotten," he said sarcastically.

Sara turned around, zipped up her uniform, and saluted Trip. "Sorry commander, but duty calls. You'll have to find a way to amuse yourself before Movie Night. However, I'd prefer you don't do it in my bed unless I'm there."

"Fine," Trip said, pretending to be grumpy. "I guess I can check the engines or something."

"You're telling me you really have nothing better to do than try to keep me in bed? Isn't there a water polo game on or something?"

"…that's a good point," Trip said, getting out of Sara's bed and getting dressed, glaring at Sara when she teasingly whistled at him. "You're not funny."

"Yes I am," Sara said with a grin, fixing her hair in the mirror. "There we go. None the wiser." She crossed the room and gave Trip an affectionate peck on the cheek. "See you for the movie."

"What is it tonight?"

"Les Miserables, I think. The musical version." Sara opened the doors to her room and walked out, grinning to herself. She knew that Trip hated musicals, and also that there was no way for him and Malcolm to get out of seeing the movie with them that night.

Trip groaned and followed her out of the room. "Oh god, not another musical."

"Hey, you liked the last one!" Sara pointed out.

"There weren't period costumes involved."

"Technically, there were, since it took place in the 1960s," Sara said with a grin.

"The music was good."

"I'll give you that. In any case, there's no way you can get out of it. You and Malcolm promised me and Hoshi." Sara cackled to herself as Trip's groan of annoyance followed her down the hallway to Sickbay.

When Sara reached Sickbay, Phlox was nowhere to be found. Sara assumed that Phlox would be a while, if she even saw him before her shift ended. When Ensign Connors got into something, it usually took a few hours to get him cured, or sedated enough for any sort of treatment. She picked up the first PADD and started working on the reports that needed to be filed.

After many hours and a lot of growling over spelling and grammatical errors in the reports, Sara finished the reports and stacked the PADDs in a container in the corner of Sickbay so she could find them later. She picked up a container of snow beetles and walked over to Fuzzy's cage.

"Hello old friend," she said with a smile, opening the door to the cage. Fuzzy made a squeaking noise and hopped out of the cage and onto Sara's left shoulder. Sara chuckled. "Oh, you must have missed me. It's been a rough three months, but I'm back. I promise I haven't forgotten you."

Fuzzy hopped down Sara's arm and sat on her hand, staring intently up at her as if she understood everything Sara had said. She nudged the container insistently, and Sara laughed again. "All right, all right," she said, opening the container and taking out a few snow beetles. "Here you go, Miss Impatient." She heard the door open behind her and turned around to see who had come in and grinned; it was Hoshi, looking like she was about to dissolve into giggles.

"Clearly Fuzzy missed you," she said, letting the doors close behind her.

"Clearly," Sara said, putting Fuzzy back into her cage and closing the door. "Let me get these beetles put away and wash my hands, and we'll go."

For a change, Hoshi sounded hesitant. "In a bit," she said as Sara wandered around Sickbay cleaning up.

Sara looked up from the hand sanitizer quizzically at her friend. "What's up?"

Hoshi looked over her shoulder at the door, then joined Sara at the counter. "You'll keep a secret, won't you?"

"Of course," Sara said, raising an eyebrow. "Are you pregnant or something?"

Hoshi laughed. "No, thank god," she said. "What would I do with a baby out here? It's something else, though."

"OK, I'll bite. What is it?"

Hoshi blushed. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with someone."

"Ooh, Hoshi!" Sara squealed, clapping her hands happily. "Who's the lucky crew member?"

"There's a bit of a problem," Hoshi said, looking sheepish. "He's kind of a superior officer and a friend of ours, and I'm really feeling awkward about it."

"And which friend would this be?"

Hoshi muttered something, but Sara couldn't hear her. "What was that?"

"Trip," Hoshi muttered again, turning red.

A thousand thoughts raced through Sara's mind, but only one was truly in focus: That Hoshi deserved happiness, and if Trip could make her happy, he should be available to do so. "He's a cutie," Sara said, waggling her eyebrows. "I say go for it. You certainly wouldn't be the first person aboard a starship to go after a higher up."

"Yeah, but you were drunk off your ass," Hoshi said with a giggle.

"Oh, if you only knew," Sara thought, but what she said was "You told me you wouldn't judge me for that! Anyways, I'm sure there are people on other starships who have hooked up with commanding officers. And you know he's a good guy. As probably his oldest friend, I give you my blessing and say go for it. You deserve to see if he can make you happy."

Hoshi beamed. "You think I have a shot?"

"I think you do," Sara said with a genuine smile. "Now let's go before the good seats get taken."

The entire time the film played, Sara's mind was elsewhere. She knew that giving Hoshi a chance at happiness was important, but there was a selfish part of her that wanted to keep Trip all for herself, even though she knew that she wasn't in love with him.

It wasn't until near the end of the film, at the beginning of the song "A Little Fall of Rain," that everything fell into place in Sara's mind. When it did, Sara's eyes filled with tears. She knew exactly what she had to do, and when she had to do it. The knowledge of what she was going to do combined with the sadness of the song caused her to burst into tears, the only saving grace being that the song was so damned sad that most of the audience was crying as well. But out of the corner of her eye, Sara could see Trip's concerned expression; she knew he realized there was something wrong. She knew that he would be coming later to try and get her to talk.

So when he entered her quarters nearly an hour later, Sara was prepared. She knew exactly what she was going to say, and how she was going to say it. She wiped her eyes, still filled with tears from the movie and everything in her head, on the sleeve of her bathrobe and smiled.

"I've been expecting you," she said. "Can't get anything past you, even in a dark theater, can I?"

"I know you too well."

"That's kind of the problem," Sara said, playing with the hem of her bathrobe.

"Did someone find out about us?" Trip asked. "Did you get yelled at or something?"

"No, but I found out there's a major impediment."

"And what's that?"

"There's someone else on this ship who deserves you more than me."

"And pray tell, who's that?"

"I promised them I wouldn't tell."

"Oh bullshit. Sara, tell me."

"It wouldn't be fair to them. I know I can't have everything be as fair as I want it to be, but in this case, I can do something to make things be fair to everyone. Our arrangement isn't fair to you, and it's not fair to the other person who thinks you could make them happy and wants to give it a chance."

"And who says it's not fair to me?"

"Because if you ask yourself if it's worth it to keep sleeping with someone you don't love, you'll figure it out."

"Who says I don't love you?"

Sara cocked her head to one side and smiled sadly. "Do you?"

Trip leaned against the door and stared at his feet. He knew that Sara was right; their arrangement wasn't really as fair as they'd made it out to be for the past three months. He did care about Sara, but he had to be honest with her since she'd asked. "No," he said to the floor. "Not like that."

Sara chuckled. "Then it's not fair to you to keep this up," she said gently. "You've been my friend for years, and for the last 3 months, you've made me feel probably as safe as I've ever felt out here. I care about you, and I always will, but I don't love you that way either, and I probably never will, and neither of us should wait it out to see if it happens."

They were both quiet for a moment, each knowing that the other was right. "So, you're really not going to tell me who this other person is?" Trip said with a grin. "If we're really still friends, you'd tell me who my secret admirer is, you know."

Sara's worry melted away; everything was going to be all right after all. "Look, I seriously can't tell you," she said, giggling a little. "But I think Hoshi has some more information about it. She knows who it is and will probably cave way easier than I will."

"And she won't disobey a direct order from a superior officer just because she's known him for decades," Trip said, perking up. He walked over to the bed and kissed Sara on the top of her head. "Thanks kid." He walked to the door, and then paused before he left and turned to Sara again, saying something she never thought she'd ever hear from him. "Oh, and by the way? You were right. But if you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny the hell out of it."

Sara grinned, and wrapped her bathrobe tighter around herself. She looked around her room for her PADD, then brought up an address once she found it and began to write.

"Dear John,

Remember that thing I told you was going on with Commander Tucker? Well, it's not a thing anymore, and you'll never believe why. But you have to swear when you write back that you won't tell a soul that I told you, or Hoshi'll kick my ass…"