status ongoing
background the two years between Naruto and Naruto Shippuden
notice Hello, hello. I'm really happy that this story is getting such spirited response. It's always good to know that your work is appreciated, and I'm always glad to see that there are more Kakashi/Anko fans out there. I would like to apologize beforehand if the pace of the story feels rushed, but I have absolutely no patience for slow build-ups (even though I love them so much). I am trying to set as smooth a pace as I can, but I think I am failing. This chapter also takes a step into Kakashi's thoughts once again, and there's a small progress. The Meoki kid is a nod to Teen Wolf's Greenberg. 'Til next time!

xiv. miss independent

Anko felt bone tired as she dragged her feet to the Academy. She had come back from an infiltration mission with Kakashi late the previous night, and they had stayed up until the early hours of the morning in order to compile their reports. Since they had been separated for a good portion of the mission, Kakashi thought it was imperative to write a joint report, in order to fill in each other's blank spots.

She was fairly certain that he was just trying to get on her nerves.

After their second successful mission, it seemed that the Hokage had somehow been convinced that they were the new dream team of Konoha. In the past month and a half, she and Kakashi had completed six missions of varying length, rank and type. The Hokage hadn't approached her to ask after Kakashi again, but Anko could tell that she was satisfied with the current predicament. Sometimes she wondered if the Godaime had an ulterior motive behind assigning them on missions together all the time.

But it didn't do well to dwell on things she didn't want to be thinking about, so Anko pushed those thoughts away from her mind as soon as they came. It wasn't like she would be getting a clear answer from the Hokage — or Kakashi, for that matter — even if she kept prodding them.

Choose your battles and all that.

She would be lying if she said that she had come any closer to unravelling the mystery that was Kakashi Hatake. The man was closed off like a shell, cryptic and infuriating as they came. However, if nothing else, his strange behavior made Anko even more intrigued as time passed.

Surprisingly, over the course of the previous month, they hadn't had any incident between them. Kakashi mostly ignored her or talked his way out of the conversation when her questions became a bit too prying for his taste, but that didn't stop him from bantering back and forth with her when the situation called for it. She had yet to convince him to join her for drinks after a mission, but she had a feeling that his resolve was close to breaking — people let down their barriers when they were drinking, and that's what Anko was counting on to get some long-awaited answers.

However, for the time being, she had been promised by the Hokage herself that they would get a week off of missions. Anko had put her foot down and demanded some time to focus solely on the Chuunin exams. She had been checking in on the progress of her colleagues as frequently as she could in between missions, and surprisingly it hadn't been as bad as she had first expected.

She had known both Genma and Ibiki for most of her life, but she hadn't expected them to cooperate as well as they did. Ibiki was goal-oriented, precise and straightforward, while Genma was a lazy prick who procrastinated everything. When the Godaime had first assigned Genma to replace her when she was away, Anko had naturally had her doubts. However, it seemed that despite his natural inclinations towards laziness, Genma was actually putting effort into the Chuunin exams.

Mentoring Shikamaru, though? A complete and absolute failure. She was surprised that the kid hadn't been sent off to Ibiki at this point.

"Now, there's a face we haven't seen in a long time," Genma said as she entered her — now their — office. "How's life, Mitarashi?"

"Fuck off, Genma," she said, kicking out her chair and plopping down on it dramatically.

"Feisty as ever, I see. You back for good?"

Anko shrugged, studying the board to evaluate the progress that was made in her absence. "Until the Godaime decides to send me out again. Should be a week, at least."

"What's with all the missions all of a sudden? She was the one who chose the proctors for the exams, after all. She knows how busy you are."

"Well, apparently, I'm Hatake's on call babysitter. And since he's her most valuable shinobi, I'm supposed to drop everything and run to his aid every time he breaks a nail."

"Is Kakashi-sensei alright?" Shikamaru asked from his desk, his head resting on his arms. Anko shot him a glare; the piece of shit was dozing off. On the job.

"He's an idiot is what he is."

Genma sniggered at her. "Maybe she's trying to set you up."

Anko snorted and threw him a balled up paper that she picked from the trashcan. She would have slapped him upside the head, but there was no way she would get up from her seat before having at least two cups of coffee.

"Shikamaru, go get me coffee," she commanded the young Nara, who begrudgingly got up from his seat and left the room. Then, she turned to Genma. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Genma shrugged, sliding a few scrolls to her. "Maybe she's on a bet or something."

"A bet?" she asked incredulously. "For me and Hatake no less? You're a fucking moron."

"Just throwing out ideas here," Genma said with a shrug, but Anko knew better. That man lived for gossip. If Anko was bad, then he was the worst. "How's Kakashi anyway? I've hardly seen him around lately."

"Same way he always is, I guess. Moody, stuck-up, lazy. Why do you ask?"

"We went out for drinks a while ago and he got really drunk. Then he stormed out like he was crazy." He took his senbon out of his mouth and twirled it between his fingers. "Come to think of it, he kind of acted crazy all night. Got mad at one thing or the other. It was strange."

"Ugh, who knows. That man's a fucking jigsaw puzzle," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "Anyway, screw Hatake. What do we got?"

Genma's grin was evil. "Your favorite."

Taking one look at the scroll before her, Anko promptly banged her head on the desk. "Not the Meoki kid!"

Once again, Kakashi felt like he couldn't breathe. A couple of days had passed since his last mission, and he was already feeling like the walls were closing in on him.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Being on missions was rejuvenating, but even he knew that he couldn't spend all of his life jumping from one assignment to another. His body was already complaining about the strain he was putting it under. He had to fix this thing that was eating at him soon if he wanted to get back to normal.

The problem was that he had no idea what was wrong.

He had come to terms with the disbandment of his team, no matter how mad he had been about it. It was okay. They had left. Big fucking deal. It wasn't the first time he had been left alone in his life. If nothing else, he shouldn't be even slightly bothered by now.

But he was, by this or something else — he didn't know, and it was driving him crazy.

To get his mind off the dark thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone for a second, he had decided take Asuma up on the offer he had made for lunch a few weeks past. They had found a table in Yaniniku Q (Kakashi suspected that the place had given Asuma a permanent discount, seeing how often he treated his students to lunch there) and talked shop as they waited for their food to arrive.

Asuma had been a close friend for years, and he was actually one of the few people Kakashi trusted wholeheartedly. He supposed that he still owed the older man one, seeing that Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai were the ones responsible for him being pulled out of ANBU before it could destroy him completely. The two of them had fought countless battles side by side, and Kakashi was glad for the man's discretion. He never pushed and never pried, which was why Kakashi had sought him out in the first place.

However, it was inevitable that conversation would at some point get back to their former genin teams.

"It's too quiet without them, huh?" Asuma said with a nostalgic look in his face.

Kakashi resumed his drink undisturbed, completely uninterested in the turn the conversation was taking. "It's different."

"Good or bad?"

Kakashi shrugged. He hadn't really classified the feeling as positive or negative; it just was.

Asuma leaned back in his seat. "Either way, it's a change of pace. It takes time to get adjusted to."

Kakashi nodded absent-mindedly, but the gears of his brain were turning. Could it be that this was that his problem? That he hadn't given himself time to adjust?

"It just flies by so quickly, you know. Shikamaru has been a chuunin forever now and Chouji and Ino are preparing for the Chuunin exams themselves. Soon, I'll be out of a job."

Yes, he knew all that already. And he also knew, courtesy of Kurenai, that Sakura was entering with Asuma's team as well. And it made his chest clench a bit.

"You'll be free to take on actual missions again," Kakashi offered.

"I know. But I don't miss that. Not really. What I am going to miss is their whining. Gods, they're always whining about one thing or the other. Either Ino thinks the ground is too muddy, or Chouji is hungry, or Shikamaru wants to sleep. They're an awful lot, but I guess I've gotten used to it. I'm gonna miss it."

Kakashi didn't.

He didn't miss his students' whining and their bickering because he couldn't remember it. He couldn't remember the sound of Sakura's shriek or Naruto's laugh or Sasuke's growl. He couldn't remember what they used to talk about or Naruto's choice of curses towards Sasuke or how many times Sakura rejected his attempts to ask for a date.

He could scarcely remember them nowadays, he now realized, and it was scaring him shitless.

"I'll miss those brats," Asuma repeated wistfully.

"Yeah," Kakashi replied skeptically, realizing for the first time that he did.