Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

14. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: What's this? Original plot? Astounding!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Naruto woke up in a vast and empty plain of white, but didn't bother getting up from his resting position.

He was instantly displeased with this.

"Dad. You better have a damn good reason for interrupting my sleep." This wasn't the first time that his father had pulled him into the more expansive parts of his mindscape while he rested, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. Kushina could do it too, but she preferred, oddly enough, to involve the whole "we live in Naruto's head" group whenever she wanted to talk to him. Seeing as he didn't feel Kurama's consciousness nearby, she and the fox were not responsible for his situation this time.

Normally, in either case, it was to talk to him about the issues going on around him or provide some minor therapy to keep him closer to resembling what was widely considered sane.

"Hmm. Interesting. It is not often that one at your age would frequent this portion of your mind. Your capability of rapidly assuming not only where you are but the means of which you came speaks much of your experience."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He didn't recognize the voice, but it had confirmed that he was still in his mind, which meant…

"No." He stated with finality.

"No?" The voice belonging to the mystery individual to his side asked curiously. "There are many possible meanings and interpretations to your perplexingly vague statement. Are you insinuating that I am incorrect in my thesis? Or perhaps you do not believe that our conversation is not real?"

Naruto didn't get up and look at the source. To do so would only solidify its existence and imprint into his memories. "I don't care who you are, what your purpose is here, or even if you are the freaking Sage of Six Paths. I am NOT having another voice in my head, and I most certainly WON'T have it manifest when I'm getting the best sleep I've had in years. I am crazy enough thank you very much."

"I see. I see. Yes, your statement does warrant such concern. With the presence of your parent's souls and Kurama within you as they are, no doubt your outlook and behavior would greatly differ than most individuals. That you recognize this and wish to prevent the gap between you and your peers speaks much about your integrity." The voice continued absently.

The blonde's mood sunk more. Wonderful. The new voice in his head was one that wouldn't shut up. He had a bad feeling that Ghost knew who or what this newcomer was, but he sure as hell wasn't going to ask.

Unfortunately, as pissed as he was, Naruto knew enough about these sort of things to brush them away because he was tired.

"Old man. I'm going to be blunt, and right now I want you to do the same if possible. Have you always been in my head?"

"Yes, and no." The voice replied instantly, going along with the boy's request. "I am everywhere that chakra is, as it carries my memory throughout the ages. As such, one could interpret that to say I am in everyone's mind."

That answer alone was a big enough clue that the teen could probably find out the identity of the newcomer when he got back home. "I take it that you can't directly talk to many people like this."

"No. Conditions must be met, and such circumstances can only be achieved in certain individuals across time. You are one of them." The voice continued. Truth be told, he still shouldn't have been able to manifest himself in the boy, not yet at least… however the child was different, and his power seemed to be imprinted on the world in way that had yet to be seen since the Biju first appeared.

"Is this conversation needed now exactly? Will the information you give me be needed in the immediate future, or is this simply because you are able to talk to me now and are unsure when the next opportunity will be?"

"Hmm. You are a particularly intuitive child." The voice stated with a hint of amusement. "The latter, if you must know."

"I see." Naruto closed his eyes. "Go away."

"Pardon?"

"I'm tired. I'm more insane than even I normally tolerate. I was enjoying a peaceful sleep, and I sure as hell don't want anything more to dwell on than I already am."

"Your decision and reasoning is concerning." The voice chided. "This may be the only opportunity we may have to converse at length before the possible calamities I have feared come to be…"

"If the world is in danger from anything related to the source or origin of all chakra in the world and I can't handle it, I'll just ask the Oogakari to summon you into my head again for your mystical ramen covered advice from beyond the grave. If you are what you claim, you should already be aware of what they are and are capable of. Until that point I am making a rule that only three permanent residents are allowed in my head at once other than my own. Again. Go away."

The area was silent for a few minutes before the new voice chuckled dryly. "I see. This version of you is certainly not what was expected, and far from ideal, but perhaps that is what was needed in the first place. Your reasoning is not preferred, but acceptable. I hope you shall be in a more hospitable temperament should we converse again."

Naruto didn't say anything as the voice's hold on his consciousness let go and the tired teen once more lost awareness of everything around him. As a result his projected body in the field of white soon vanished, leaving only the owner of the aged voice present.

"… I told you he wouldn't listen now old man." Kurama's deep tone echoed throughout the empty area.

"Yes, however it would be irrational to waste an opportunity when it presented itself." The human of the two replied. "He is an interesting child… no. He is too aware of the world's nature to be called that. It is rare for someone to possess such character after undergoing as many ordeals as he. Even I have never encountered the greater deities of the outer realms, much less combatted them…"

"Humph. You know as well as I that it would have only resulted the same way." The fox grunted at the memory that was locked away. "Not many could claim to have been killed by Death personally and brought back by something that surpasses its authority."

Gods had many particular forms that generally could range from local gods that tended to be shards of their bigger and stronger counterparts, to the common world rules of nature gods, to the rare multiversal gods that rarely revealed themselves to others unless something really went wrong.

In Naruto's case, he had unfortunately been put up against a shard of the latter due to an unfortunate turn of events.

"Mmm. Not without consequences clearly. Even now I can feel the lingering stain left on his being. A shame."

"He says the scar itches."

This time the old voice did laugh. "Hahah. Yes, this truly is an interesting one. Should fortune be with us, I may not even need to converse with him after all. Ironic, in that I wish to do so more now."

"I'd advice against it. I'd hate to see you actually try and go out of your way to kill someone in a blind rage. His irrationality is contagious." The Kyubi snorted dryly. "… I'll see you around old man."

The spirit of the Sage of Six Paths smiled briefly as his body finally faded away. "And you Kurama. I am relieved that you have finally encountered someone you can trust. He is quite an interesting one, that much is certain…"

o. o. o.

The Naruto retrieval team was gathered together in a circle. Every one of them had a serious expression on their face as they contemplated their current dilemma.

"Do I really have to be the one to bring it up?" Sasuke grunted in frustration.

"Depends. The person who does will be the manliest person in our group." Ino snorted. "That being said I thought Sakura would crack first."

"Oh I'm gonna crack something allright." The medic glared at her so called friend.

"I still don't understand what the issue is." Kakashi mused, the least tense of the group. "It's not like it's actually a problem."

"Kakashi, don't even start. You just want to use this as an excuse to be late." Sasuke looked back at the team they were travelling with, or more specifically at Hinata with the fox formed Naruto once more sleeping in her chest.

"Sorry Hokage-sama. We would have been sooner, but I had to reunite two lost lovers and a girl with her pet along the way." Saukra imitated her teacher sarcastically.

"But it's truuuue." The eldest one whined in mock immaturity.

"You forgot the part where one of the lovers would have murdered us if we tried to split them up and rush back." Ino pointed out. "I, for one, am NOT going to be related to the pissing off of Hinata."

"Please, you just want to baby Chouji some more." Sasuke rolled his eyes. Ever since they had been all clear the Yamanaka had been tending to her boyfriend's wounds quite frequently, to the point that she had actually put on a sexy nurse costume during one of her late night "checkups". Where she had gotten the costume in the first place was anyone's guess.

"Hey. My baby needs my TLC. I don't see you complaining about Hinata gushing over Naruto." Ino shot back.

"We are. That's why we're gathered right now." The Uchiha deadpanned, stating the obvious.

"And unfortunately it's not like we can just tell them to hurry up." Sakura sighed as she looked around to the small caravan they were travelling with.

After the debacle with Moryo and evasively blaming the volcano erupting on said demon, which technically was true, the shinobi there, with Shion and Taruho flew back to Demon Country on Sasuke's summons to return Shion to her home and explain to everyone what had happened, as part of the mission was to ensure the priestess' safety.

They weren't going to just abandon her in the middle of Swamp Country after she sealed away the monster after all. That would have just been stupid.

The group had spent a good three days there recovering from their massive battle. Hinata was a trained medic, but she had been focused more on other fields of study over the years so her skills were lacking when compared to Ino's and Sakura's.

Chouji had not been in good shape once they finally managed to get back. With a hole in his side, demonic bite marks all over his body, his right leg fractured in two places, broken in another, minor burns from where the lava entered his wounds, fairly heavy chakra exhaustion, and having pumped enough adrenaline through his body at one point to kill at least one herd of elephants, the Akimichi had understandably been out for nearly the entire time they had been at Shion's home.

Hinata and Tenten had not come out unscathed either, with both suffering from varying levels of chakra exhaustion themselves in addition to minor cuts, burns, and in the Hyuuga's case a couple of bruised ribs from when one of the serpent heads got lucky and knocked her away.

Shino, being only slightly ruffled from his fight, wisely did as everyone told him silently to avoid his team's ire. All in all, nothing out of the ordinary for him.

Sakura's and Ino's presence was a very welcome relief to the bodyguard team. Especially since practically all the locals were partying the entire time at the news of Moryo's death right outside the building they were trying to rest in.

Once the wounded had been approved for travelling and active duty again, though they weren't completely recovered, they had to recognize that their mission wasn't completely finished yet.

They still had to escort Shion, along with a handful of her advisors and guard, to Konoha.

Given that the Land of Demons was on the northwest side of the Land of Earth, that they were moving at a civilian's pace, and they were forced to take a detour to loop around the bottom of the country that Konoha was almost at war with, the shinobi were looking at a trip that was going to take at least four weeks, six if they weren't rushed.

The route would normally take one week for a standard ninja.

Hinata had not let Naruto out of her grasp since she had regained ownership of him. And for anyone that tried to separate the two…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

Sakura and Hinata were frowning at one another intensely, ignoring the cheers that were going on outside.

Naruto was, as he had been for the past few days, in between Hinata's breasts, completely asleep if the bubble of snot was any indication. The fact that he wasn't shivering in terror was also a sign that he really was out cold.

"Hinata. Give him to me."

"Like I said before Sakura, I don't see why I should."

"Look, I swear I'm not going to steal him for my mission." The medic tried to reason with her friend. Normally the Hyuuga was one of the more reasonable members of her group, but when it came to Naruto the girl became frustratingly stubborn. "You put those bandages on his arm and body because he was hurt right? Even though he regenerates? You don't know what happened before he got to you and what he did, but I do. I know why his arm is still messed up and I actually have experience dealing with it, so please just let me make sure he heals right. You aren't the only one that worries about his health when he does something stupid and crazy you know."

Hinata fidgeted a moment as she went over the girl's words. In truth she had attempted several times to heal Naruto's limb ever since she had accidentally broken it, but for some reason the damage was unlike anything she had ever encountered before. "… Can't you just teach me how to heal it?"

Sakura let out a huff of frustration, but relaxed her posture a bit. "I could, in fact your eyes would probably make you better at it than me eventually, but it takes time to get used to, especially when you aren't that focused on the finer and more delicate fields of medical jutsu."

Hinata continued to uncomfortably determine whether it was a good idea to allow Sakura to look over her love and risk having her team run off with them before mentally going over the list of wounds, new and old, that she had seen when she had examined him.

"You swear that you won't run off with him?" She innocently asked with pleading eyes. To others she was a strong and confident young woman, but those close to her knew that all of that confidence and stability ironically came from one of the most unstable people they knew. To take him away now just as they got back together would no doubt do a number on her psychologically.

"I promise on my title as a medic." The time traveler smiled kindly and slowly held out her arms, but not in a way that they were close to the fox. She had heard what had happened earlier when that missing nin triggered Naruto's panic attack and had no intentions of setting off a repeat performance…

The fact that Tenten had actually tackled Sasuke when the latter attempted to, while slightly buzzed, reach out and take the fox from a sleeping Hinata, exemplified just how dangerous it was.

Hinata hesitated for a moment before reaching to pick up the fox. "You have to be careful. He hasn't been sleeping well." She whispered as if talking about a small child. "He's been using my chakra to keep the nightmares suppressed and stabilize himself. I went into his subconscious earlier and what I saw… If I'm not there to calm him down…"

"Don't worry. You can keep a hand on him while I work to keep him even." Sakura mentally filed away Hinata's comments for later. She made a few seals to start her diagnostic technique. Normally she could do this on the fly, but the version she was currently using was for trickier wounds that had subtle effects. Given that his arm's damage was from a rasenshuriken variant, she wasn't leaving anything to chance. "… What about, you know, them?"

Hinata blinked a few times in confusion before her eyes widened in understanding and nodded to the fox. "Them?"

Their subtlety was warranted. Blatantly speaking about Kurama in public was still an S ranked crime punishable by death. Speaking about Minato and Kushina inside of Naruto went double so.

"From what they said, they normally help him… recover for the most part when he has an episode, but since I'm here they've been holding back and trying to get him to open up more for a more complete treatment, but it also lets his reactions become more severe as a result as well." Hinata admitted reluctantly. "You… I've never seen him like that before Sakura. He was absolutely terrified, and so withdrawn that even it had trouble getting close."

"Sensei told us in the debriefing before we left, but…" Sakura frowned as she focused on the conversation and what her scans were telling her. The blonde's wounds were healing as expected, but the damage had wrecked the entirety of his arm when it was first made. Thanks to his wider chakra coils, honestly absurd chakra density and recovery abilities the potential damage had been mitigated greatly, but the telltale poison like effects of the rasenshuriken were still visible. "Idiots. Both teacher and student are just idiots."

Hinata nodded in agreement as her friend started her treatment.

"… Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"… I don't remember seeing Naruto having any injuries on his tailbone area when he ran away from us earlier, so why is his tail injured just as badly as the rest of his body?"

"…"

"…"

"… He's fuzzy and very soft."

"… On second thought, never mind."

o. o. o.

End flashback:

"I almost had to fight Hinata just to heal the wounds he got from fighting Zabuza and Haku. There's no way I'm going to try and take him now, and honestly if half of what she told me about his freakout is true I don't think it's even close to a good idea." Sakura sighed in defeat. "Naruto has been asleep ever since Hinata got him back again. From what I can tell the only way we will be able to get back to Konoha faster with him, is if he wakes up and agrees to come with us."

"Fat chance of that happening." Ino grumbled in defeat. "He'd probably just run away the first shot he got."

"Actually he'd probably just cut his losses at this point." Kakashi shrugged. "If he's as bad as Hinata says he is, he'd probably determine that it really is best for him to stay with her for the time being. The reason he ran away in the first place was to get some peace of mind after all. Given that Hinata seems to be able to calm him down so effectively…"

"He'd stay around her as much as possible to recover more." Sasuke concluded with a small scowl. "For him to willingly stay still and quiet to heal… remember that time he tried to run away from the hospital and ended up landing on his head when the guard tripped him up?"

"Did he break his leg before or after that?" Sakura asked with a dry smirk on her face.

"Does it matter? He tried again nearly two hours after he woke up after that." The Uchiha elaborated. "Tsunade was pissed."

"I believe it was more because sensei really couldn't hurt him any more than he already was at that point without getting a bad taste in her mouth." Her smile widened at the memory of her teacher ranting and complaining to her while downing one of the stashes of booze that she had managed to hide to Shizune.

"It's sad that we aren't really surprised by events of this nature anymore." Kakashi shook his head in mock shame. In reality he had been conditioned to this before the time skip, but it his statement still stood. "On the other hand, I believe we should focus on the things that still can get under our skin…"

"They won't say a word." Ino pouted, instantly picking up on her leader's unasked question. "Whatever happened that caused the other fox to have fun has them spooked. They try to hide it, but I'm a Yamanaka and their friend. It's as clear as day to me."

"Oh? Am I that easy as well?" Sasuke rose a skeptic eyebrow.

"I used to be your fangirl. Don't make me prove it." The Yamanaka stated bluntly.

He shut up instantly.

Sakura simply hoped that he wouldn't find out that Ino told her about some of his tells. She loved always being able to read him like a book much to his frustrated confusion.

"Even Chouji won't crack?" Kakashi curiously asked, getting them back on topic.

The mention of her boyfriend caused her to sulk. "No. I almost managed to sweet talk it out of him, but he clammed up at the last moment and begged me not to learn anymore about it. The only thing I managed to learn was that they encountered "someone that wasn't supposed to be there", whatever that means."

"Someone that wasn't supposed to be there?" Sakura frowned in confusion. "Do you mean Akatsuki?"

"I don't think so. They would have told us if it was them." Ino shook her head. "Chouji said that it was the Fox's words, not ours. He said that they weren't going to be a problem anymore, but from how uncomfortable he looked it was clear that whoever he was talking about is still around somewhere."

Kakashi and Sakura shared a brief glance at one another, confirming that they had the same rough idea of what their friends could have encountered. "Well, if Chouji says that whatever it is that has them so spooked won't appear again, then I don't see why we can't put the topic to the side for now at least. We have plenty of time to grill them for juicy details when we get back home."

"In the meantime all we have to worry about is Hinata possibly killing her client for always trying to get to Naruto." Sasuke snorted. It had been quite amusing to watch as the Priestess attempted to even get near to the unconscious fox over the past few days. At one point the two had even devolved into a childish "yes!" "no!" back and forth argument for at least ten minutes before one of Shion's attendants dragged her away from the Hyuuga.

"I'm so proud." Kakashi wiped away a fake tear. "One of my students has finally managed to obtain the good life. Where women flock to him in droves for meaningless reasons that make sense only to them."

"Sensei." Ino deadpanned while nodding her head at Sasuke. "Fangirls?"

"I said women Ino. Not girls." The cyclops pointed out factually.

"What about that kunoichi from that Nadeshko village we… helped?" Sasuke rose an eyebrow skeptically.

Really, he knew different villages had different rules and customs, but seriously? Forcing a fight to the death for the woman's hand in marriage?

So, if the woman wins, the man, who was challenged in the first place with no way out, dies. And if the man wins, he, somehow, is forced into a relationship he doesn't want with a woman that he may or may not have crippled or disfigured in the process?

How on earth has that village managed to stay around without getting stuck in an international incident yet? He knew that men could be stupid and think with their dicks at times, but there was no way that every male hijacked into those marriages were so satisfied that they decided to ignore the situation…

… Shit, didn't Sakura say that Tsunade gets rare medical ingredients from them?

Oh well. Not his problem and it's not like the idiot isn't immune to nearly every poisonous and mind altering compound on the planet.

"She's our well-earned entertainment for dealing with this mission. Where stupid people do stupid things and we simply sit back and watch without any consequences at all." Kakashi factually elaborated. "Granted, whether it ends up a comedy or a tragedy all depends on if Hinata finally does snap in the end, but ultimately I do think that the mystery in itself will be rewarding."

"Hey, is it me or is sensei more lax about getting innocents involved in the hell that is our life lately." Ino whispered to Sakura.

"As far as he's concerned, if said person doesn't do their research before trying to barge into our lives, they deserve it." Sakura wept sadly.

"Apparently he's an advocate of sharing our fun with the world." Sasuke deadpanned.

"I like spreading the love." The teacher eye smiled.

"I'm pretty sure that there are laws against that." Sakura frowned.

"Unfortunately we're shinobi. Laws are only as good as the proof against us." Sasuke pointed out.

"I'm starting to see why there are so many problems in this world." Sakura wept.

"Focusing on our biggest one, are we agreed to not do anything until Naruto wakes up and see what he says?" Kakashi offered.

"Is not like we have much choice at this point." Sasuke shrugged. "Ripping him from Hinata now would only cause problems before and after we get back. So long as we make sure that nothing else happens we should be good."

"And we sent a report to Tsunade-sama explaining what's happened so far." Sakura sighed, remembering the small hawk that flew off to Konoha with their recollections. "She won't be happy when she reads it, but at the very least she'll be expecting us and have cooled off when we return."

"At least that's something in our favor." Ino sighed, habitually twirling another senbon between her fingers. "So in the mean time we can pretty much take a break for now."

"As much as we can." Kakashi nodded. "Just make sure to help out the others with their job as well. They deserve the rest as much as we do. Also do keep an eye out for any problems. Their mission isn't done yet and Naruto is still here."

"Yeah. Don't want to have Hinata kill the priestess for bugging her." Sasuke snorted.

"Hahah. Yeah. Don't want the evil twin to kill the good one." Ino smirked, only to pause as everyone stared at her. "What? Don't tell me you guys didn't see how much those two look like one another."

"Yeah, but since when was Hinata the evil twin?" Sakura rose an eyebrow.

"Since when can a good twin make those around him fear for their lives just by being nearby at will?"

The other three really couldn't come up with anything to counter that.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"They're what?!" Fuu all but shouted at Tsunade in her office.

"All of them Fuu." The Hokage frowned as she placed the documents on her table. "What essentially makes up the core of the Hidden Waterfall Village's government was slaughtered in a closed room with no witnesses in a single afternoon. There are no suspects and no hints as to who it may be except for a tasteless message written in the victim's blood stating the fall of the village. It's that which is prompting those who are trying to keep things together to call you back as soon as possible."

"The only reason why we even know that much is a combination of our spies and our repeated forced requests to explain the situation." Shizune elaborated apologetically. "You are a major individual of interest not only for them but for Konoha as well. Simply having you return without explanation would seem suspicious after our arrangement has been set up."

"Please tell me that you see that this is a trap." The jinchuriki looked between the women frantically. The past three years in Konoha had been like a dream for her. She liked living in a place where the local population didn't treat her like dirt. She liked having people that she could call friends nearby and could rely on. She liked living for days at a time without being reminded that she was a freak or had a super powered chakra demon in her.

She wasn't particularly close to anyone here other than maybe the Third Hokage, but given her personality she doubted that would ever change. She was however comfortable near people now and could hold a solid conversation with strangers, which was a hell of a lot better than before.

"No shit it's a trap." Tsunade grunted. "The message to call you back came before the damn request for international aid and diplomatic support. Someone clearly wants you back desperately, and even if it's not Akatsuki they're good enough to slaughter nearly a hundred people in a room without anyone outside finding out until hours later. Unfortunately, unless we want the village to take a tremendous blow to its image to everyone else, we can't refuse this request." A wry smirk played on her lips. "But, we're doing it on our terms. There are benefits to being commonly known as the strongest shinobi nation other than bragging rights."

"We lost once sitting back and watching everything fall apart Fuu." Shizune comforted the green haired girl. "Don't think we are going to do the same thing again. We know that even with your training you aren't as capable as most of the other jinchuriki with us, but that doesn't mean that we have no faith in your abilities."

Fuu smiled weakly. She was no slouch on the battlefield, quite the opposite, but even so it wasn't fair to be compared to absolute monsters like Naruto, Bee and Gaara. Roshi and Yugito were closer to her level, but still miles ahead simply because they were already extremely familiar and used to using their demon's power before they had died the first time around.

As for Zabuza, the man didn't even need to use Isobu's power most of the time. He had that absurdly broken sword with him. Seriously, making the man into a jinchuriki was just overkill in her opinion.

That wasn't to say that she didn't get along with Choumei. Quite the opposite. From what she heard she had one of the easiest times getting used to him and his power. The problem was that she lacked the raw explosive power output that everyone else seemed to have. Sure she had some tricks and was one of the only shinobi that could fly, but it didn't really help that much when she was taken down by that paper bitch last time.

"So what's the plan then?" She asked slightly subdued. Given the circumstances, it was clear that she would have to go back "home" sooner rather than later.

"Thankfully you were out on a mission when we received the message and we delayed a few days when we gathered some more information on the situation. Their request was a big one, so anyone would have demanded answers before even considering following through." Tsunade's lips twitched in amusement. For once the standard diplomatic process for delaying the hell out of everything worked in their favor. "At best we can stall for another few days to a week under the pretense of determining whether this is a trap and the ramifications of letting you out of our jurisdiction. This is an emergency after all. We have been using what we have gained and the time we have left to prepare. Since you are a person of interest to both of our villages and your safety is of the highest priority, we will be assigning you a squad that will accompany, stay, and aid you until the situation has calmed down."

Fuu's demeanor relaxed somewhat. She still had to leave, but at the very least she wasn't getting completely cut off from help. "How are you going to pull that off? You know as well as I do that my home is paranoid about its security. After what happened I don't see any of them letting any outsider getting in."

"Actually it should be quite the opposite." Shizune factually countered. "Taki has already been infiltrated. They are already at risk of losing everything and collapsing from the inside out. Konoha is offering high quality support to assist its valued ally, and those who will go are sworn to not disclose any of their secrets to anyone. While everyone is right to be suspicious of anyone, your village is not in a position to deny support from their strongest ally. Not when they are at risk of an unknown enemy wiping out the entire village. We are "offering" help and they cannot afford to say no."

The jinchuriki couldn't help but smirk. She knew for a fact that the people left in charge of Taki would not take it well and probably give her shit for this turn of events. Hell they'd probably try to insinuate that it was her fault that the whole event happened in the first place. The problem is that they have no choice but to go with it for now, and unlike before she was very likely the strongest shinobi from Taki now… outside of Kakuzu, and she sure as hell was going to make sure that everyone realized that.

"So who is my backup?" She asked, her earlier worries were now dissuaded. She had no illusions that she might still die, but ultimately it wasn't any different than when she first realized her situation three years ago. "I can't realistically see there being any more than two teams max coming along for this."

Tsunade took out a mission missive and placed it on the desk in front of her. "I've already handpicked your guards. I believe you'll be satisfied with my decision."

The youngest girl in the room stepped forward and glanced at the names written down with curiosity… before grinning confidently.

She still didn't like the situation, but at the very least she knew that she wasn't going without some damn big guns at her back.

o. o. o.

With the main character:

Good news: Naruto was up.

Bad news: He was still in fox form and in Hinata's chest whenever possible.

Annoying news: He wasn't speaking or attempting to communicate with anyone. Instead he was acting like a genuine small domesticated fox. Complete with the instinct to fear anything that displeases said mentioned Hyuuga.

"That settles it, I'm getting a fox fur coat in the near future." Ino growled in annoyance as she watched Hinata absently pet the purring teenager while walking around the area.

"Get in line." Sakura matched Ino's tone.

"I don't do fur." Sasuke yawned carelessly. Contrary to popular belief, the Uchiha actually did enjoy sleeping in on days off if he wasn't focused on something immediately important or if he didn't plan on it the day before.

He pretended to ignore the fact that most of his childhood free days were occupied with preparing to kill Itachi.

"I'm more of a dog person." Kakashi turned a page of his book.

"It wouldn't be so bad if the little bastard actually bothered to pay attention to us." Ino elaborated. "We've all tried to talk to him but he just ignores us. Hell I even tried to make a mental link once and he just shrugged me off. I didn't even know he could do that!"

"He has experience with voices in his head." Sasuke deadpanned. "Tuning another one out shouldn't be that hard for him by now."

"And it's not like he isn't paying attention to what we say." Sakura leered at the fox skeptically. "Watch. I recommend a hunt when we get back."

On cue, the once content animal's head twisted instantly to their direction with wide and hurt eyes of betrayal, as if to ask, "Why? Why would you do such a cruel thing to me?"

Hinata would have noticed, but since nothing important was happening and Shion was in her carriage talking to her advisors about recent political events back home, the girl had once more regressed into the euphoric daze that came when most females snuggled small fuzzy animals, complete with hearts for eyes, a gleeful smile, and an amount of drool that was noticeable but everyone pretended to ignore regardless.

"Ohhh." Ino swooned. "Those pure eyes of innocent hurt and knowledge of impending pain. They're adorable."

"Naruto and adorable in the same sentence. Something truly is wrong with the world." Sasuke shook his head. "And yet for some reason it feels as if everything is in place because of it."

"Now now. Not everyone can pull off dark and brooding as naturally as breathing Sasuke. Some people actually have to work from a different angle." Kakashi lectured with a straight face.

He pretended to ignore the annoyed stares his teammates were giving him.

"Kakashi-sensei." Shino approached them from the side. "May I talk to you in private for a moment?"

"Mmm? Something happen?"

"Nothing of immediate importance." The Aburame admitted. "I merely wished to speak to you about some things in Hinata's stead since she is… occupied."

"If she gets any more occupied it's going to be bestiality." Sakura deadpanned.

"Does that even count as bestiality?" Ino frowned and tilted her head to the side in thought. "I mean he's still Naruto and he's just transformed…"

"Yes. It does. It was brought up early during the Third's rule when an Inuzuka and a Yamanaka that were dating decided to get creative in their sex lives." Kakashi replied automatically. He waited for a few moments before looking up to see, as expected, everyone staring at him incredulously. "What?"

"How… no, why?" Given the way Sakura was talking, it was clear that this had disturbed her greatly. "Why do you know such a disturbing thing?"

"Oh, you know. They teach you all sorts of odd things in the ANBU." The eldest shinobi there yawned whimsically as he closed his book and started to walk away. "You learn even more at the ANBU only parties and wait long enough for the thrice over spiked drinks to kick in. You wouldn't believe some of the things that come out of our mouths."

"We rarely believe anything you say in the first place." Ino snarked.

"He's avoiding the question." Sasuke leered at his teacher. "I know for a fact that you were a shut in when you were in the ANBU and almost never went to parties."

"Never said I did." Kakashi countered with amusement as he turned to Shino. "Shall we?"

"Only if you refrain from revealing such trinkets of information in our conversation." The stern tone used would have made it seem as if he would not budge on this… unfortunately said stern tone was what he used when speaking normally so the severity lost its potency.

"Depends on what we're going to talk about. Please be gentle." With that, the man vanished in a shunshin.

Shino took a moment to turn to Sasuke and Sakura, as if to ask if he was always like this during his spare time. The two deadpanned glares of frustration he got in return answered his inquiry.

Two seconds later the pair were about a hundred meters away from the campsite and about ten in the air, standing on a rather large tree limb.

"So, care to tell me what has been eating at you for so long?" The silver haired man got directly to the point with his still careless demeanor.

Shino didn't bother to ask how the man knew already. "I'd like to hear what your assumption is first."

The cyclops slowly blinked in curiosity before shrugging. "My guess is that you're worried about Hinata. You know that this," he nodded back to the caravan, "didn't happen earlier, and are concerned about the changes it would lead to. With another actual woman after my adorable student, and Hinata as invested into him as she is, the fall out could be rather damaging if not handled right, which would lead to possible distractions that we can't afford."

Shino frowned. The man did have a point, however…

"Given from your expression, I'm assuming only partially correct. I must be slipping." Kakashi continued to keep on his lax attitude, but the glint in his eye said other things. "Care to let me know what I missed?"

"… Shion-sama remembers."

Those two words were enough to make the jonin instantly loose his composure. His posture was still relaxed, but his breathing and facial features instantly hardened. "Does she now?"

"Her powers sent her back to just before he came." The Aburame elaborated. "She's been training for this event and intends for Naruto to keep the promise he foolishly made last time. She was at the chunin exams and has seen enough to know that Naruto has come back as well."

"They've talked." Kakashi frowned.

"Only enough to know of one another's condition. Naruto's been in his fox form ever since. I suspect it's his way to prevent Shion from delving more into the matter until we are in a more secure location, but knowing him there's another reason."

"It certainly does seem that way. My student does tend to find peculiar ways to solve problems…" Despite his choice of words, Kakashi had yet to relax. "You spoke to both of them about this?"

The Aburame nodded. "Separately. Naruto first, which is how I know at all. Shion-sama is adamant about marrying and aiding Naruto. She was engaged to an aged member of the Land of Fire's court previously and wishes to avoid it if possible, but her feelings for Naruto are true from what I can determine. She knows that he likely won't reciprocate her feelings completely, and has accepted the possible outcome so long as she can help and stay by him. It was from this previous engagement that she learned of your… our… the situation at the end of last time, as well as Naruto's status. While a bit overconfident for my tastes, she has stated that she's more than willing to aid us with her abilities."

"And Naruto?" Kakashi frowned.

Shino shifted uncomfortably. "He is concerned for her wellbeing, but also of the possibility of her powers being used against us. Even I have heard rumors of her accurate future telling before receiving this mission. If she gains any more repute, I fear who would might try to come after her, but then again having her around Naruto may yield similar results. As far as I know his main goal is to ensure her safety for the long game and at the moment he believes his best option right now is to… consider, her as a potential future spouse."

"I take it this means he'd be utilizing the CRA to include Hinata on this." Kakashi quickly put the pieces together. "But whether she would approve of it or not is another thing. It really would be best to set off that bomb when we get back home."

"He knows it's risky on multiple levels, but… according to him, anyone that is capable of working around Ghost-sensei's power like that is someone to keep an eye on." The teen nodded.

"Really. And here I thought the hard part was over." Kakashi shook his head. "You do realize at this rate we may have to inform Hinata, if not the rest of your friends about our little situation right? Do you think they would be able to handle it?"

Shino remained quiet for a good amount of time. Truth be told, even he still had a hard time grasping that nearly a quarter of the major people in his life had traveled back in time, or were essentially gods in mortal form that preferred acting like lunatics.

"… I'm not certain. If we had to disclose it to everyone, it would be best to do so all at once with everyone there… and with one of our generation doing the speaking and the rest of us backing him up for support. Shikamaru would likely be the best."

"Yes. Naruto wouldn't be a good choice for that. Everyone respects and trusts him, but he's still a bit unstable and it wouldn't be good for him to deliver such news when he just got back." Kakashi nodded. "This would still cause some rifts between some of us for some time, even if we did do it right…"

"Hinata in particular." Shino agreed, already seeing the outcome. "When I think about how much she's supposedly changed… the outcome of this could become concerning."

"Ironic isn't it?" The teacher shook his head. "Sasuke was the one that turned traitor last time and we're more worried about the love struck girl's reaction to everything."

"Considering she's directly responsible for the mental wellbeing of our strongest fighter, yes, it is."

"Life's like that sometimes. One day everything's fine, the next, you have a multidimensional powerhouse of a psycho turning back time, turning the government on its head, training everyone and cooking you lunch for the hell of it. Then after all that you find out that the fate of the world lies on the romantic stability of two hormonal teenagers." Kakashi shrugged. "I like call them Tuesdays."

The man could feel Shino glaring at him from behind his glasses. He also could not really care less.

"I'm beginning to see why Naruto and Sakura complained so much about you both in this time and the previous."

"Now that's just mean."

"It is Tuesday."

"Oh, that makes much more sense then."

"Glad to hear it."

The neutral atmosphere and calm voices of the two males did not at all match the conversation and words shared.

"So then, care to tell me what caused the Kyubi to come out earlier?" Kakashi turned the page. "I know you four don't want to talk about it, but it's kind of important after all."

Shino's expression hardened at the memory of being completely overwhelmed and running for his life with his team. It was best not to stir up more trouble when they had enough on their plate already. "No. Unless we see reason to otherwise, it's best to leave that topic be and forget it."

"Was it addressed?" The man's lone eye analyzed him skeptically.

The boy's teeth clenched. "Yes. But not by us. Sensei, trust me when I say this, the less people are aware of this, the better."

"Was it taken care of permanently?" The hidden question was clear.

"No. It was impossible for us to even try. If they do come up again, which is incredibly unlikely given the circumstances, we will tell everything, but only if they show again."

They. That lone word was enough to sate Kakashi's interest and at the same time make it even more ravenous. There was no doubt that Shino had let the word slip on purpose. Given how close his team had been at the time and how they had yet to encounter anyone, he could only assume that "they" consisted of a small group. Any larger and the teens wouldn't be so willing to keep quiet. It couldn't be Akatsuki either. The teens wouldn't keep quiet if it was them and it wouldn't make sense for the mercenaries to be out here in the first place.

"Out of curiosity, have we ever heard of these individuals before?" The man probed lightly.

"… No." Shino replied darkly. "We never have. And we never should have."

A subtle shiver went down Kakashi's spine. The certainty of the way the teen had made that statement ensured that something had gone far more wrong than he had thought. It indicated that something was here that shouldn't be under any reasonable or logical circumstance.

If the butterfly effect was in play, then a bunch of foreigners being here wouldn't be that surprising, but from the way that the boy was speaking, it made it sound like these individuals shouldn't even be considered as such…

… Oh. Oh… no wonder they kept quiet…

"I see." His tone seemed carefree, but his eyes had taken on a dangerous glint. "And do you truly believe that this will no longer be an issue?"

Shino seemed to figure out just from that that the man had figured out everything. "… It seems that we know people that are in considerably higher places than we originally assumed… and more troubling reputations as well."

"Honestly, Naruto really did outdo himself this time." The Jonin crossed his arms and pondered the situation. He didn't like it, not one bit. They already had enough to work on in the near future and this new problem would cause one hell of a headache for everyone if things got out of hand. Unfortunately there was little he could do at the moment. "Are you going to stay silent about this when we get back?"

"It is the best option for now. They have as much to lose as we do if they are found out." The boy adjusted his glasses for whatever time that day. Kakashi would have made a note of it, but then again it would seem hypocritical of him to do so when he had his mask.

"So it's like that." Kakashi shook his head at the absurdity of the situation. He knew leaving it alone was probably going to bite him in the ass but it was best to let the sleeping dog rest for now. "I guess there's nothing else to do for now. Go back to your team. I'll tell mine to lay off the subject. Log knows we need the rest."

Shino nodded. "Thank you. I will tell the others. Tenten has been getting a bit annoyed by the questions lately to be honest."

"Better her than Hinata, if only barely." The cyclops sighed as the boy disappeared in a shunshin. He stayed there silently for a minute before shaking his head. "I know you were listening. Care to share your thoughts?"

The forest seemed to be motionless for a short period of time before a bodiless chuckle was heard on the wind. "Hahaha. And here I thought I had finally gotten one over you Sensei."

"You would have if you didn't reveal you could do this in the volcano. I'm disappointed that the others didn't think of this yet. Quite a useful technique you have by the way." The only physical person there shrugged. "Seems like the sort of trick that you would probably use to cause a bit of trouble with."

"And then some. I've made my voice come out of places it never should have been. Hello? Can you hear me? Don't trust this woman! She says she likes the kinky stuff and I've been stuck in her funky hole ever since! Get me out! It's dark and this crazy bitch likes bean burritos way too much! Every time she farts I don't know if the light I'm seeing is the other side or freedom! Either way it still smells like death!"

Well, if there was any doubt that he had been talking to Naruto before… "I see you've kept yourself busy."

"The key is to learn to adjust your voice just right for the muffle effect. It's just not believable if they can hear you too clearly." The prankster stated factually. "Also helps if the chick you're doing this on has an infamous anal fetish."

And that was the man's cue to change the topic of conversation. "I heard you were unconscious during the time of the event, but I want your impression on it."

The area was silent for a few more moments before the air whispered once more. "It's best to leave it be. Unless these guys show up again, don't bring them up, especially with Ero-Ni's family."

Kakashi frowned. "Is there something that we should know? It sounds like there is something more going on here."

Again there was a temporary silence before it was broken, seemingly by nature itself. "… One of them that we encountered, Sylvia of the Stained Glass. I've heard of her in passing before, which alone should indicate how dangerous she is. She's crazy strong. Too strong. And she has a long history with the Family, but I was never told the whole story. I know for a fact that she will keep to herself now that she knows this is their territory and not start any trouble, but… if Shadow finds out that she's here, it's very likely that we'll all get killed in the crossfire… or the fallout."

"Along with everyone and everything else I take it." It was hard to remember at times that the Oogakari were actually dimension destroying monsters of supposedly the highest order. Aside from the fact that they were all bat shit insane and did magnificently stupid antics near daily, they didn't seem to be capable of the things that they occasionally bragged about.

Oddly enough, the one that was closest to actually blowing their cover was Crypt simply because he always regenerated from the most horrific injuries anyone had ever seen without even batting an eyelash, and even then everyone just brushed it aside and chalked it up to his weird techniques.

"You have no idea." You could practically hear the grimace in his disembodied voice.

"And you do?" Kakashi rose an eyebrow.

There was a brief moment of hesitation. "… Sensei. I'll admit, Ero-Ni did do a number on me. I've seen and experienced terrible things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Things that I wouldn't wish on even Madara, and that's saying something. It's going to take years to get over even half of the twisted shit that's treatable in the first place … but that wasn't the only thing that's gotten to me."

The copy-nin frowned. Either he had conveniently missed something in the debriefing, or Ghost had actually missed something when observing his latest pet project. "It must be something pretty significant then. Ghost himself had been somewhat concerned and guilty about the results of your conditioning, although that may have been just him worried about the consequences of his actions."

"Maybe." The voice chuckled absently, but it was blatantly obvious that his mind was elsewhere. "… How strong do you think I am? Without my limitations?"

The question caught the veteran off guard. "Hm? Well, strong is a rather vague term. Mentally I'm guessing that you're a bit subpar at the moment, but physically I'm guessing that you could probably give Pain a run for his money."

Another bodiless and humorless laugh. "Sensei, if I went all out, I could literally destroy Ame by myself even if the entirety of Akatsuki was there easily. Not the city, but the actual country. In one attack."

Kakashi shivered. On the one hand he was proud that his student had reached such heights, on the other… that level of power was just disturbing. "Impressive. Then what exactly is the problem?"

The silence after the question spoke miles about how uncomfortable Naruto was. "… We're a joke."

The ominous statement caught the man off guard. "You're going to have to be a bit more specific."

"I… I thought that after my training, after all my experiences, I'd at least be strong enough to… after everything settled down, protect our home, our world in case someone on the off chance came. As a deterrent of sorts. I know I wouldn't be the strongest, not even close, but I'd at least be good enough to make the big guys believe that it wasn't worth the effort to do something so small." The grave tone of the teen's voice spoke miles.

"I take it something dissuaded you?" The man rose an eyebrow.

"Kakashi… I've seen worlds where there are a good number of people that can destroy planets. EASILY. I've watched tournaments where they've had to make false dimensions just to hold the fights otherwise there would be too much damage done to the landscape, and even THEN it sometimes wasn't enough. There are some places where a single person in the general population is as powerful as one of our jonin, or has enough knowledge of the arcane and the unknown to fill the forbidden scroll ten times over and stuff them full of side notes. There are worlds where there isn't chakra, but technology has developed to such a point that their weapons could render life on the planet to the very dregs within a single DAY, and the standard civilian law enforcement and local gang members have weapons that make them more dangerous than a trained chunin." Naruto's voice became more and more stressed as he went through his explanation. "I've seen and visited places like this and more, and even worse is that they are not uncommon."

Kakashi started to get a sinking feeling in his stomach as he got a better idea of what his student was telling him.

"I have met so many people, creatures, existences, and gods that, if they wanted to take over our reality, they could do so without a second thought. We are a joke sensei. Our power. Our system. Our methods. Everything is behind. Primitive. The only reason why we were safe before was simply because our realm was another blade of grass on an endless plains. Even if we all got together and fought with everything we had, Biju included, there are countless beings out there that would wipe us out. We would be FUCKED. I can't tell you how many times I've been kicked around like a ragdoll for fun just to get used to a new way that the world can be used to murder me."

The cyclops grimaced. When Naruto put it like that, he could definitely get an idea of what the boy was going through. It really made their current problems seem quite trivial in comparison, and to be constantly be exposed to such forces probably destroyed the boy's sense of stability. This wasn't a case of "there's always someone stronger". Such a thing was normally when comparing people to people. Naruto on the other hand had been exposed to things that were people in name only, more comparable to world altering calamities in a compact state.

For the teen to state with such certainty how helpless they would be if they were ever faced with such an opponent… and to be constantly exposed to them on a daily basis…

Returning back home must have been a terrifying experience for him. He didn't realize just how weak he was, but just how helpless his home was too.

"And the Oogakari?" Kakashi asked hesitantly. "Just where do they stand on this scale of monstrosities?"

Another bitter laugh. "That's the messed up thing Sensei. We always knew they were strong. They were constantly bragging about how they are made of pure epicness and awesome but… the monsters I talked about? They really are scared SHITLESS of them. I have literally seen Gods run away from Ero-Ni when he even hinted of getting irritated. There are dozens of documentaries focused on each of them alone. We LITERALLY have the most infamous and dangerous interdimensional monsters living among us and treating our problems like a Sunday afternoon movie. And you know what? I am so messed up now that I can actually understand their perspective without trying, and it terrifies me more than you can imagine."

"I watched you guys fight Moryo. Ino's technique. Hinata's power. Sasuke's strength. Everyone has gotten so much stronger, so much so that I'm not worried about them fighting Akatsuki… and I try my hardest not to laugh as if I'm talking and thinking about a competition between children. Everyone and everything we have done and are doing, just seem so small and insignificant now. My sense of scale is completely totaled to the point that things that I know are important… just don't feel like they are. It's nearly impossible for me to take anything seriously here anymore."

Kakashi grimaced. His student was worse than he had thought, but at the same time better. Naruto's problems were far more diverse than anticipated, but the boy had also not been going through his issues lying down and had actually bothered to understand it to an adequate level instead of raging and lashing out at everyone in confusion.

To be truthful he was somewhat familiar with this issue. It wasn't uncommon for many genin and fresh chunin who get their first taste of real battle to completely snap under the pressure and the exposure of what the higher ups can do. What Naruto was dealing with was similar but different at the same time.

Normally, those that were treatable were led to believe that the village supported its own, that so long as you helped, worked with, and supported your village, it would do the same in turn. That eventually you'd be as strong as the "monsters" out there, or that you'd be helped out by the village.

Unfortunately, Naruto's concerns involved individuals that could not only waste villages, but pretty much all of the villages… at once.

Probably with both hands tied behind their backs.

Might as well throw in a blindfold too.

In short, there was no secure foundation for him to fall back on with regards to his home.

The knowledge alone would have easily been enough to drive most normal people who strived for normalcy mad and make them lose hope in everything. Naruto, who had already been off kilter to begin with, was merely stuck with being in an emotional limbo of sorts and unable to sort himself out.

In a sick way it was almost akin to having a young child loose both their parents at once and being left alone in the world… only to find out that the orphanage, the cops, and all the adults around were as likely to disappear and suffer the same fate just as easily, and THEN someone tells you that the place you're stuck in is possibly at risk of being absolutely destroyed at any given time without warning.

When Kakashi's father died, he had gone through something similar, but at least then Minato Namikaze had come to his aid. The at-the-time Jonin wasn't his father, but it was hard to not find security in a man who was considered one of the strongest shinobi on the planet and treated you so kindly.

The problem was, anybody that could and likely would try to help him in this situation would likely only remind him of how absurdly overwhelming the situation was since they were either not on that level of power or couldn't comprehend the entire situation…

And the only people who were powerful enough to actually give some effective support logically… were the last people anyone wanted to go to psychological help, not to mention that they were the ones responsible for his condition in the first place.

It was an unreal situation that matched the unreal circumstances that the blonde had been forced to undergo, and this time he really was incapable of getting over them.

Everyone had always joked that Naruto could handle anything with a grin on his face and a joke on his lips. He had been stuck in more absurd situations than anyone in the village had or should have, let alone in his age group. But now… now apparently he had finally hit his limit, and unfortunately it was on a scale that no one could logically, or even illogically, reason out for him.

Kakashi comprehended what his student was going through, but he doubted he would ever truly understand it completely until he was exposed to what Naruto had.

"… And after the show is over?" The elder of the two inquired. "What happens then? Are we left on our own?"

"No." Some of the stress that had been present in the disembodied voice had vanished with the word. "At the very least, we won't be left to dry. You must have heard about it too, that we are being tested in a way? Once we pass, our universe will be considered officially Family territory. Like the mob. We'd be under their protection. Me and a few of us would be urged to go out every now and then for certain tasks and events, but at the very least we wouldn't be left out to fend for ourselves."

"Any other benefits?" Kakashi's dry retort served its purpose of lightening the mood. "Insurance? Pay? Rare artifacts? A harem of green skinned alien women?"

"We'd have to get it in writing, but they're all definitely possible." Naruto's voice pondered seriously. "Although it would be difficult with the harem request at our level. Green skinned humanoids were still rather high in demand when I left. We'd have to pull some strings and hope Scab won't exploit us too much if we have to tap into his services…"

A giant sweatdrop fell down the back of the silver haired man's head. He had been joking, but apparently what was considered extreme and farfetched here was perfectly normal in other worlds. "I'll keep that in mind. Apparently I underestimated the fetishes in other worlds."

"It would be best if you made your request early for the long term. The blue skinned woman market has been practically a roller coaster of a market the past few years from what I heard, so if you have any changes in preferences its best to have them now. Red and pink skinned women on the other hand are pretty low in demand in general despite being less common, so it shouldn't be that hard to get some of those on a budget." The fox continued factually, clearly distracted by his thoughts. "Then again the value tends to spike dramatically when you get into dark purple territory ever since the unions started to act up last year, and there were those operations that can change colors... they're easy to spot, but some people don't care that much…

"Well we can't say that you haven't been studying economics and markets at least." Kakashi was somewhat depressed that listening to Naruto once more speak of such absurd things as if they were mundane was a sign that he was regaining some resemblance of mentally stability.

"You kidding? Do you have any idea how easy it is to spot global market conspiracies with the limited technology our world, chain them together, and find out key players in economic warfare? Gato should have been pegged for the shit he was pulling years before we got to wave if anyone competent and connected got on the job. If I look at the paperwork, I wouldn't be surprised if I find out that Orochimaru has been playing the markets since he defected in order to fund Oto. Extorting a country is easy enough, but it takes serious bank to fund an entire military and even more secret bases with expensive equipment."

He really should have stopped the blonde when he was ahead. "Well, if the elemental nations undergo an economic fallout, you'd be the first person I'll turn to."

"No. Scab will probably be behind it for some reason… or have found out whose responsible. Odds are likely he pretty much owns a quarter of the continent's economy by now. Apparently it's a hobby of his." It was unnerving how casually he stated such terrifying information.

"Hopefully he treats us better than Zabuza." Kakashi made no attempt to hide his twitching eye.

"Of course he will. He knows that a happy work force leads to less headaches, accidents, mass suicides, murders, wild animals, unexplained pregnancies, cramps, drugs, thefts, riots, bleeding from the eyes, constipation, lawsuits, and potential spies. It just so happens that he tends to make it so that most people don't know he owns them." Apparently, Naruto's trauma was significantly lessened when he was speaking of subjects that would traumatized others. "As for Zabuza… eh. Scab's a sadist, remember? He enjoys making grown men and women cry."

"A trait that I fear has been spreading as of late."

"Yeah, Ino really looks really violent now. Might want to get her looked at." The blonde clearly missed his teacher's accusing tone.

It was times like this that Kakashi was glad he had most of his face hidden and years of experience in hiding his thoughts. "… Well I can see that this conversation has gone completely off kilter. Since we have pretty much covered everything that I wanted, against my better judgment, is there anything important left you want to cover before I leave you to once more be smothered by Hinata?"

"Save me?"

"Subjects that are in the realm of possible are preferable."

"Hmmm. Nothing important seems to be going on otherwise you'd bring it up by now… and we've decided to talk about Shion when we get… home… oh shit."

"A problem?" Kakashi didn't like last second warnings.

"Of sorts." You could hear the wince in his voice. "You need to tell this to everyone, but don't let Ero-Ni near Shion."

"Why do I have a feeling that you aren't worried about him sexually harassing the girl?"

"What are you nuts? If I can't stop him messing with Hinata what makes you think I can stop him with Shion?" The dry laugh wasn't comforting. "No this is more serious. If Shion sees Ero-Ni up close she will go literally insane."

"… Ok I'll bite. I know that Ghost is a pain to deal with at times but causing people to go catatonic literally on sight is pushing it. How does that work?" Kakashi had heard of a lot of things before, but this was admittedly a first.

"You know how Ero-ni is supposedly the final apocalypse in human form? Well the way his powers work tends to really mess with people and beings that interact and read possible futures. Something to do with the denial and destruction of realities that are no longer possible but still technically existed, leading to contradictory false possibilities in the same theoretical but no longer existing timespace. I couldn't really follow it that much."

Kakashi blinked owlishly. "… THAT explanation was you not following it? This coming from the same child that needed nearly everything spelled out for him?"

"… You start jumping between worlds frequently, you tend to pick up on a few things. Make no mistake though, outside of summoning I suck major balls when it comes to the application of most timespace ninjutsu."

"So no Hiraishin then."

"Mom and Dad gave up trying to teach me after I accidentally somehow fused a horse and a mongoose when I tried to teleport."

"Well, things do tend to go wrong when you mess with the fabric of reality."

"I was on a glacier in the middle of nowhere, and the only seals I was working with were three meters away from me. It breathed enough fire to set half the sea ablaze. Then it called me overlord papa."

Kakashi made a mental note to thank whatever merciful god out there that Naruto had not somehow managed to distort the summoning technique when Jiraiya first taught him into an abomination of untold horrors. "… So about that thing about people that can see the future going crazy near Ghost?"

"When the poor bastards with the ability actually look and interact with him, they have a bad habit of actually getting a face full of… non-existence? The void? The beyond outside of the beyond? Take your pick of what it's called, there's a ton of names of it. Bottom line, they see things that their minds really can't comprehend and end up vegetables if they aren't experienced or prepared for it. I barely managed to recover from being exposed to it for a second the one time I was shown, and I had been prepping for it for almost a month beforehand. It's serious messed up shit. Once saw this old woman look at him from across the street and drop with a scream and foam coming from her mouth completely brain dead. Sad thing is that no one even knew she was a seer in the first place."

"Yeah, I can definitely see how seeing that can ruin someone's day." Of course this wouldn't be as easy as he thought. "Hopefully Ghost and the family aren't so cruel as to provoke a repeat performance."

"Of course not, but that doesn't mean that an accident won't happen if precautions aren't taken."

"It's not often that you take the priority like this. Didn't she say she was at the chunin exams though?" Kakashi frowned. "Ghost was the proctor. She should have seen him and had an episode then."

"The effects vary from person to person. Shion's power is based less on "vision" and more on "transfer", so the effect would be less severe in her case when she saw him. Plus the Daimyo's box was pretty high up. At that distance I wouldn't be surprised if she only just got a headache and figured out that he was… wrong would be the best word to use in this case."

"Well at least we don't have to worry about her dying on us from seeing him from down the road." That still left assassinations, kidnapping, poisonings, Akatsuki, bounties, brainwashing, "accidents", the occasional fangirl… and Hinata to deal with.

"Now you're just complaining."

"Shut up. Some of us are still trying to be normal."

"Low blow sensei. Low blow." The wind hissed.

Kakashi held back a smile. As disturbed as his student was at the moment, as changed as he was, he was still at the core the same person that drove everyone nuts three years ago. That alone was far more relieving than he would ever admit or was able to describe. "So how much longer are you going to be lazy and rely on Hinata for protection? If you stay in your holy land for much longer your body might get dull."

"Don't remind me. I'll figure something out. Don't worry, I don't plan on running away again anytime soon."

The man could practically hear the wind sigh with the statement. "We all have to do things we aren't happy with. If it makes you feel any better, I'll let my group know beforehand that you're going to stretch your tail soon."

"Joy. Now they'll be prepared."

"Better them than Hinata."

"Don't remind me. She'd probably hold me in a bear hug while I turned back to try to stop me from getting away."

"The girl know what she wants."

"Damn you sensei. Damn you very much…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Earth:

"… What the hell is a civilian doing here?"

There person asking the question put no restraint in voicing his question as he and the rest of his comrades stared at the almost painfully flamboyantly dressed man casually walked through the base as if he was invincible.

He was a handsome individual. Black short hair, high cheekbones, white teeth, somewhat pale, carrying a scent of expensive perfume, no calluses on his hands, tall, in shape, in a robe that screamed either nobility, or at the very least wealthy, enough facial hair to be considered fashionable…

And carrying a briefcase with him, which from experience told the shinobi that one of two things were inside. Either there was a LOT of money inside, or a trap… or both.

The way he looked around himself, how he carried himself, and how he walked was more than enough to tell anyone that he was a civilian. Not a single movement of his held any purpose other than to look good doing so.

The obvious outsider looked around casually as if he wasn't being sized up by an entire room full of men and women that can and were very much contemplating killing him then and there. "Hmm. If this is all the resistance has to offer, then I suppose that it is fortunate that I appeared when I did."

Any outburst that would have come from those watching him were interrupted as a masked shinobi appeared in front of him with a shunshin. "Yoshi-sama. I believe I advised you from making any unnecessary comments while here."

The addressed man nodded. "My mistake. I let my thoughts get the better of me. I will take better care of my words while in this dwelling from now on."

"Oi. What the hell is this? Since when did we do show and tell for the spoiled shits of Iwa that have trouble wiping their own asses?" One of the many rebels shouted, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"That's for those important enough to make decisions to know and you to find out when we deem necessary." The noble evenly replied. "Trust me, I rather not be in this meager dwelling in the middle of nowhere for any longer than needed, much like you."

"And what's preventing you from leaving at all?" A kunoichi snorted before flicking a wrist to produce a kunai. "Better yet, what's to stop us from getting rid of a possible leak?"

The only shinobi that seemed to be familiar with the stranger appeared between the two sides. Visually there was nothing spectacular about him. Standard equipment. Standard uniform. Standard headgear. "Me for one. The deal he has approached us with another."

"I represent a rather influential group of individuals that have taken an interest in your ordeals." The wealthy looking man smiled confidently, lifting up the briefcase. "This, my friends, is not payment for a job. It is a simple down payment. A token compared to what will come your way should we come to an agreement, and I assure you my employers are being exceptionally generous."

"How much are you talking?" Another shinobi there asked skeptically.

The guard stepped forward and made eye contact with seemingly everyone there. "Enough that you will all shut up right now or else the higher ups will execute all of you for risking this thing before we can even get to negotiations, regardless of whether or not it happens. Lack of man power be damned."

His voice was even and calm, but the threat was loud and clear. The proof was in the fact that no one else in the room let out a word of discontent or frustration, instead settling for glaring at the two newcomers with more than a good deal of annoyance.

"Quite a friendly lot, aren't they?" The nobleman smiled wryly as he turned to his guard.

"Please do not make this more difficult than it already is."

"Of course. That would make what I am trying to do more strenuous. I have as much at risk as you do."

"What, his pretty face and manicured nails?" One shinobi muttered to a friend in the back.

"Yes, that was what I was hired to be after all." The pretty face smiled genuinely. "An easily replaceable pretty face to serve as the mask for the dreadfully ugly activities and organization that I represent. The fact that I am here merely means that I am only a bit more appealing to work with than my nameless and countless counterparts."

A subtle chill went down the shinobi's spines. It wasn't often that they dealt with non-shinobi that willingly considered themselves expendable and replaceable so easily. Most were either brainwashed or incredibly loyal to their bosses. Either way, it rarely meant anything good when they did willingly show up to deal with them.

Shinobi weren't the only ones capable of highly secretive conspiracies and atrocities against nature after all.

As fanatic as many of them were about Iwa, Konoha, and the entire situation going on, they were still experienced shinobi and could spot a major red light when it was there.

"We have delayed long enough." The lone guard muttered as he motioned to a doorway to the side of the one that they had come in from. "We must meet with the leaders."

With a silent nod and a cheerful smile, the man followed his escort through the windowless hallways until he reached a door, which was opened for him moments later to reveal a U shaped table opened up at the door and roughly a dozen fully armed men and women sitting around it.

The fact that there was no chair for the newcomer was not missed.

"So this is the weakling with the sharp tongue and the bag of goods?" A middle aged man asked, although it was difficult to determine even that much since, like the guard, his entire head and body was covered to prevent his identity getting out, much like every other shinobi in the room.

"Clearly. He's the only one in this base that smells like a woman." A gruff muffled voice to the right. "Could practically tell he was here the second he stepped inside.

"Careful. Some might mistake that for jealousy." A larger man chuckled darkly from the left.

"Enough." The one at the head of the table snapped, causing them all to go quiet. "We did not gather to gossip like children. We gathered to do business, and engage in a transaction that may very well turn the tides of this farce of a civil war to our favor. Several of our backers have pulled away recently, not that we had many to begin with, and this may be exactly what we need to turn the tides."

"How do we know that the group this little runt is working for isn't behind them running away?" What appeared to be a woman argued. "This could be a trap."

"If they are behind it, then I am afraid that I was not there when they discussed it." The messenger bowed apologetically. "I am merely here to offer the deal that you all have hopefully been informed of."

The shinobi looked at one another warily. The man had all but stated that while he was not informed of his employer's activities, the idea that they were possibly behind other political and national snafus was not surprising to him in the slightest. He, and by association those he worked for, were not new to this game. As such they really could be walking into a trap, or they could just as likely be looking at their salvation.

Or, even worse… it could be both, and they would end up being indebted and under the control of this group when the dust settled.

"Kill him now." One kunoichi grunted. "I can already tell that we will be damned if we listen to any more of his honeyed words. Whatever he has, it isn't worth it. It would be like signing a deal with the Shinigami."

"Ironic considering that's how Namikaze actually died." The noble sighed absently… before noticing that everyone was staring at him. "… Too soon?"

"All the world knows is that the Fourth Hokage died by sealing away the Kyubi." The man at the head of the table stated gravely. "You mean to tell us that you know such highly classified information as to the method that he used?"

"I heard it in passing. Something about a forbidden technique and exchanging the user's soul, but I prefer to stay away from such dreadful subjects." The man shrugged carelessly. "I also heard that he got speared through the chest along with his wife by the fox at some point. Both sources were reliable, so my guess is that they both happened."

"So it wasn't the Uchiha that weakened it after all." One man muttered.

"That all but disproves the rumors of another wood user too." Another mused.

"The hell it is. I know what I saw. That ANBU was using Hashirama's techniques." What sounded like a bitter woman hissed.

"Quiet!" The leader spoke firmly. Not loud, but in a way that got his voice out to everyone without issue. "We can discuss this new information later. Do not forget why we and our guest are here."

"Yes. Our guest." One of the larger men to the side mused, looking at the noble skeptically. "Do tell boy, how did you manage to get into contact with us, let alone get this far without your throat slit?"

"Unfortunately, how my organization initially contacted you is outside of my knowledge. The one that catches your interest is different than I, who is tasked to close the deal." Once more the fashionably dressed man bowed apologetically.

"That seems rather counterproductive for a group that prides itself on secrecy." One woman snorted.

"Oh, there may have been a miscommunication. You see, the one you spoke to earlier only knew that we wished to organize an agreement and some of the numbers involved." The man picked himself up and lifted the briefcase in front of him. With a few pressed buttons and flipped switches, he opened it, making sure that everyone saw what he was doing so that there would be as little suspicion as possible.

Inside the container were stacks upon stacks of thousand ryo bills neatly organized and bundled together.

"I on the other hand, am entrusted with the information that want to know for this exchange." The man smiled genuinely. "Fifty million Ryo. Unmarked. Untraceable. Clearly not fake. And all yours as a down payment and a sign of trust."

The shinobi in the room remained silent as they looked at the substantial amount of money in front of them. They had been given donations before, but never in such amounts up front, and this was a mere front for what was to come. It was not enough to fund their operations completely, but it sure as hell would lighten the load for them in the near future.

"What should we expect should we complete this agreement that you are suggesting?" One woman hesitated in a way that told the others there that she had licked her lips in thought. Such a tell instantly had half of them running through the names of who she could be, and of those half a third were right.

"Should everyone be satisfied, I am told that my employers are more than willing to provide at least a dozen more suitcases identical to this one. Contents included of course."

Six. Hundred. Million. Ryo. For one completed job. If they had that kind of money their revolution would be all but set. Hell, it would take at least ten S ranked bounties to get that sort of bank quickly.

"This is too good to be true." One of the men in the back grimaced. "That kind of money. There is no way we would manage to do whatever it is this pussy's boss wants without losing everything. Kill him now and take the case. It's already more than what we expected to get from him."

"Are you fucking kidding?" Another snapped. "We're on the verge of collapsing from the inside out! Mutiny. Lack of food, medicine, funds, let alone places to hide. We need this!"

"We wouldn't be in this mess if someone's division could get their numbers straight… or do their jobs right if the rumors are right." A woman to the right snorted. "The way I see it, this would be a grand opportunity for anyone with the right fingers to get what they think is their due."

The arguments and accusations between the powerful individuals went back and forth with increasing vigor as they decided on whether or not to kill the man, steal his money, or actually agree with his deal for the biggest score they might ever get in their lives.

The noble didn't utter a single word as he merely closed the briefcase again and tucked it away while keeping an ear out for any and every slip of information that left the shinobi's mouths.

Money always did have mysterious ways of making people talk.

"Enough!" The head shinobi didn't hold back his irritation this time as he hit the table in front of him and made the entire room shake, instantly silencing the area. The populace wisely kept quiet this time as they waited for him to speak for several tense seconds. "We will see what this man wishes of us, and then, and only then, will we decide on what action we take."

A not so subtle glare directed at him was all the noble needed to know he had taken center stage. Unlike before though, his easy going smile had a bit of a strain to it, no doubt from being exposed to the brief show of unnatural power that reverberated throughout the room.

"Yes, well, in essence, what my employer wishes for you to do is something that you were already considering." He started evasively… initially. "Just for clarification though, you are still in possession of the still living Hana of the Three Planes and Snake Mistress Anko Mitarashi, correct?"

The room went dead quiet. The two girls were indeed still alive, but their existences was a maliciously kept secret. The punishment for speaking of them out of place was death.

"Why, may I ask would you think that we are holding two S ranked Kunoichi from Konoha here?" One man asked firmly. "As far as anyone knows, they are still working for the Leaf and out doing whatever."

Again an innocent smile was put on. "All I know is what my employers have informed me. This is also how I know that your group here is not responsible for their current state as well. I am unfortunately unable tell you what means or events were employed to come to these conclusions, however I have learned to never underestimate the information gathering capabilities of my superiors. They always seem to know things that… as you can see… tend to displease others should they be known."

They had a deep leak. They were being watched.

This flimsy looking dipshit was not coming with an offer from heaven.

He had come with a gilded ultimatum.

"They are alive. I will not tell you where they are being kept, and if your so called superiors are as good as you claim then they already know where the bitches are anyways." The man at the front stated evenly. "Now before I do lose my patience and kill you for humiliating us, what is it that you want from us regarding them, and what do you mean when you said that we were already contemplating it?"

"Why, their execution of course." The man shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, getting more than a few blinks from those there. "You are planning on holding it in Iwagakure, correct? It is not often that such prominent individuals are held captive under their enemies for so long. Likewise, it is less so that such powerful individuals are ended within the sight of, well, normal people. Should they be publically executed, oh… how often does one get the opportunity to knowingly observe the beginning of something as monumental as a full blown war?"

"And your employer's reasons?" The leader inquired darkly.

"Who knows? I certainly don't and have long since given up trying to do so. Shinobi aren't the only ones that kill others for asking the wrong questions, and I still very much like living." There was no lie in his voice. No hesitation, and no trepidation. "Although, if I were to hazard a guess, it would be related to the rather generous amounts of money that is promised. Even I am rather curious as to the large sums involved. This is easily the largest deal of this nature I have been involved with."

He had done this before. They had done this before. More than a few shinobi in the room had already made mental notes to go over some of the more recent deaths of prominent and important individuals once they had the time.

"What the hell do these gentlemen desire?" One of the kunichi inquired with curiosity. "Do they wish some private time with the girls before they die? Or to meet them in person? Forgive me for being rude, but I do not believe that is possible. They have been rather difficult to manage to say the least. I doubt they would appreciate dying, and we would prefer to get paid."

This had the man's attention. "Oh? I had heard that they were in your care for almost a month now, but they are still that lively? How interesting. Of course, they are S ranked so it should be expected but still." He shook his head. "Ah. My apologies. I let my curiosity get the better of me. To answer your question, all my employers wish is for you to perform your public execution of the pair in Iwa on a week of their choosing, and to keep them alive until then."

"That's it?" Frowned one of the largest men there.

"What do you mean that's it?" The woman next to him snorted. "He's basically telling us when we should start the third Shinobi War. If that's not power I don't know what is."

"Certain groups would be able to profit immensely should they have such exact information…" Another man mused carefully. "We could too, come to think of it. Especially with the sizeable down payment."

"Enough to match their final payment?" Ribbed a woman next to him.

"… Possible, but not without an ungodly amount of luck. Playing the markets is the same as playing the casinos, only it's harder to cheat and get away without getting caught. With the amount we'd be moving I wouldn't be surprised if someone traced all the cash back to us within a month. I'd rather stick with what's assured and safe."

"I don't know if anyone got the memo, but we are still having trouble finding out exactly how to get the two bitches there in the first place." A younger sounding male snarked. "Last idiot who tried to interrogate them ended up getting a finger bitten off. And he's the only guy that could stand being in the same room as those two without running away or passing out. You can tell they're demons just by being near them. They're starved, dehydrated, still wounded something fierce, and we've been leaking a nerve blocking poison into their cells and after all that we can barely classify them as manageable."

"We'll figure something out. Between all of us, I'm sure we'll be able to figure out a way to knock them out for a while."

"That will all simply make the impact of the execution even greater." It was no secret that the civilian's casual demeanor was starting to get on the nerves of everyone there.

"Out of curiosity boy, what is to stop us from simply killing you and taking the down payment alone?" An aged voice in the back inquired. "Surely the temptation of the completed job must not only precaution you have taken."

"I'm not sure to be honest, however I am somewhat certain that it has something to do with me being knocked out shortly before being handed the briefcase." The innocence of his statement belied just how dangerous he sounded to the others. "I believe that something is set up where the money will be rendered useless should I die, however I have no intention of verifying this to be honest. I rather enjoy living. The women are prettier on this side from what I've heard."

"I'd bet my share that they have a seal master." Spat out one of the younger sounding men. "Good luck getting around that. If they're good enough to find out about the girls, they're good enough to have a decent sealer under their pay with an array to match."

"Who's the best sealer here?" Another man asked curiously.

"I am." An old man grunted. "I was there for Roshi's sealing and did Han's. I might be able to do something, but we'd have to actually find the seal on him and the money first. I can think of a dozen ways to make this blow up in our faces before our fingers twitch, and that's only if we don't take into account redundant seals. From an economic standpoint, it would be better and safer to just say we're doing the job and then don't."

"Is now a bad time to point out that if you do agree to my employer's wishes, you will be required to write and sign a blood contract that ensures that you comply under penalty of the money going in flames and information about your group being released to the public?"

You had to give credit where it was due, the civilian didn't flinch too badly as everyone glared at him with killing intent as he held out the written contract.

"It's non-negotiable I'm afraid. On the plus side we won't blame you if things develop out of your control by accident. Third parties. Sabotage. Etc."

The paper had vanished from his hand without any warning and reappeared on the table in front of what appeared to be the leader.

"That's a copy, in case you were wondering." The civilian continued sheepishly, trying to ignore the angry glares. "It wouldn't be the first time someone's tried to destroy the real thing the second it's been brought out during negotiations, though destroying the real thing from what I understand would also render your payment useless."

"I don't know about everyone else here, but it seems like whoever this guy works for has a lawyer that used to be an experienced shinobi." A woman shook her head in frustration. "Don't we have any of those?"

"Even if they grew the balls to rebel or spy, they wouldn't last long." Another woman shook her head. "Anybody that's assigned to work in a major desk job gets a seal on them to prevent them from revealing any confidential information. Depending on where they sit the reaction could be inability to talk up to instant heart failure. You need to have exclusive permission to get anything out of them. Even if you're an elite jonin you wouldn't have access without the right backing."

There was a bit of an animosity between the "desk monkeys", shinobi that ended up performing bureaucratic and paperwork jobs as a living, and the frontline soldiers. The former frequently complained about the smaller pay and dealing with idiots that couldn't go on a mission without getting killed or needed something covered up. The latter complained of the lazy pussies that did nothing but count numbers and be too wordy for their own good.

The life expectancy difference between the two groups didn't help things either.

"Well shit." The first female sighed disappointed.

"As it stands…" The voice of the leader carried over all the voices again, prompting everyone to be quiet. "… The agreement is that we shall execute Hana of the Three Plaines and Snake Mistress Anko Mitarashi on a week of your employer's choosing, in Iwa, for six hundred and fifty million Ryo, the fifty being paid up front. Willingly turning back on the deal or killing you will render our payment unsalvageable, however we will be reimbursed should we put an effort into upholding our end. Is that correct?"

"Outside of the common stipulations and specifications that are on your copy, yes." The man nodded. "And once the deed is done you will be paid in the manner of your choosing."

A slow nod was seen. "Please leave. You understand that this is not a decision that can be made easily or quickly."

"Big decisions of this nature rarely are." The noble bowed deeply. "I take it my escort is the same?"

"You will be guided to your room, where you will stay. My apologies if our accommodations do not match your expectations." He continued without even acting as if the other has spoken.

"Fear not. I managed to arrive here appearing as such. I shall manage this ordeal as well. My thanks for your hospitality." The affluent looking man did not bother to react to the layers of killing intent directed at him as he turned to walk out the door, nor when he heard it closed behind him. "Quite a friendly lot aren't they?"

His escort glared at him briefly before returning to a neutral demeanor and walking down the hallway. "Your room is this way."

"My thanks. Hopefully there is an attached bathroom and a mirror. Addressing one's image to this degree with just a pocket mirror is far more difficult than you could imagine."

"We wouldn't know. We rarely have need for such unnecessary products."

"Yes well, those in my occupation rarely have the luxury of wearing masks wherever we go." The civilian snorted as he took out a compact mirror and inspected himself.

He had little doubt that the leaders of the rebellion were thinking of ways to turn the situation more to their advantage, greedy pigs. Shinobi tended to be rather poor losers whenever someone beat them in the stealth and secrecy game.

It wouldn't be hard for them to find out which nobles were in Iwa and why during the time of the execution, and from there simply interrogate them one by one until they hit paydirt.

As if it would be that simple. Even as a civilian he could think of at least a dozen different ways to make it not worth the effort and make them give up without tilting their hands in the slightest. The easiest would be simply having the rebel's original funders go to Iwa first under some pretense and then have them "invite" his clients by simple coincidence among many others. Then simply have that chain a few more times and there would be like looking for a golden thread in an elaborate tapestry. There would be no way that the shinobi would risk infuriating and insulting the ones supporting them from behind the scenes. The ones here were led by their emotions and pride for the most part, but that didn't mean that they were completely stupid.

In addition to that, there was the chance that they would simply turn the deal down. It really was a bit heavy handed, especially with the numbers they were dealing with, but he had come at a particularly low point in the rebellion. Morale, resources, men, support were now at an all-time low as the hype of Namikaze's son being who he was finally began to die off among the slightly more sensible crowd, and would likely only continue as time went on.

He supposed that was what his employers were counting on. The deal was too good to be true, but on the flip side of the coin, the truth of their situation was just about too much for them to handle regardless.

Thankfully, he was a rather talented salesman with a great pitch and magnificent items that the consumer would no doubt desire. "Face to face negotiations require such trivialities, and quality products can be what save your life in such cases. No chakra. No mask. Just simple self control, a slightly educated vocabulary, a bath, and enough powder and smear to hide away the facial tells of nervousness and perspiration."

The shameless admittance did manage to get the shinobi to let lose a small chuckle of amusement. He was still annoying, but the civilian managed to get a few points of respect right there. "I'll keep it in mind."

The pair walked through the halls for several minutes, avoiding and ignoring any other shinobi that crossed their path. It was a rather peculiar sight given that the men and women there, much like the building, were all fairly Spartan while the outsider might as well have dressed like a peacock.

"Your room." The door opened to reveal a rather dreary and simple room with a desk, table, two chairs, dresser, bed, and an attached bathroom and shower. "For your information, this is one of the more elaborate rooms in this base."

"If that's the case then I hate to see where you stay, and I will admit that you are a vastly greater man than myself." The diplomat walked in without any hesitation and moved to the two bags that were lying on the bed, filled with his clothes and other items that he had deemed necessary for the trip.

"I could say the same. Your impression of a noble is rather impressive." The masked man replied, causing the newcomer to pause and look behind skeptically.

"I thought it was obvious. Since when did nobility take the trouble to come out here alone to do such backwater deals?" The snide tone he had was no doubt a mocking jab at real nobles in the world. "I may enjoy walking, looking and eating like a duck, but quacking like them is where I draw the line, and I do like wandering about in places outside of the same ponds every now and then."

"Instead you chirp like a pretty bird. It is far more effective for your line of work no doubt." Another sarcastic laugh escaped the shinobi's mouth. "Considering how well off you appear it seems to have worked well for you. You walked in the room without a hitch, telling that this neither surprises you nor do you consider it beneath you, meaning you're used to it. You must be quite talented to rise as far as you have."

"Nobles have fallen in droves behind the scenes before. It's not illogical to assume that those in the lower class cannot achieve the opposite. A lie here. A penny there, and you have a new noble family in place with loyalties firmly in place and a fake history to support it all that no one will challenge." The negotiator shrugged and turned back to his equipment.

"True, but nobles tend to ignore the rumors that run through the lower levels."

"I am here to negotiate and come to an accord with your leaders my friend, not swap stories that may or may not be true." He began to take out his rather expensive looking clothes and check them for wrinkles. Silently he hoped that they would have adequate clothes cleaning appliances here.

"And ones that regard all of the elemental nations?"

"Which ones? You shinobi tend to come up with those almost as frequently as you kill people." A bark of laughter escaped the composed civilian's mouth. "The Hokage is pregnant. The Raikage is preparing for war. Again. Madara Uchiha is still alive. The Kazekage has become a god and demands that his servants take time in the middle of the day to bow to his power. The Wind Daimyo is trying to bankrupt his homeland for a gold gilded pool… actually that one is partially true. He did dip into his country's accounts for a golden hot tub. Two of them if memory serves."

"Almost makes me pity them." The shinobi muttered.

"The world has already ended. The Fourth Mizukage was brainwashed during the entirety of his rule. Half of the nobles in the land of fire are secretly Senju. Puppet masters have secret conventions in the Land of Iron. There are people living on the moon waiting to kill us all. Kusa is secretly trying to make bloodline crossbreeds. Konoha is trying to brainwash the world to worship a piece of wood. My personal favorite is the one that says that Kirigakure is secretly breeding underwater krill summons to take control over all shipping lanes in the next twenty years."

The door closed behind the shinobi quietly. "What about the one where four of the big five nations are secretly preparing for war against a new threat and left Iwa out of the loop?"

There was a brief pause. "I haven't heard of that one before."

"No. I guess you haven't… but I wouldn't be surprised if your bosses have."

"You make it sound like I can simply ask them such sensitive things and not expect to be killed. As I said before, I am expendable. My acceptance of that is what makes me so highly valued to my clients."

"I never said that you should."

"I'm working with people that are handing out over six hundred million ryo to schedule a pair of executions. I doubt that you can make it worth my while to stick out my neck any more than it currently is."

"… And if I make it worth their while?"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Swamps:

"We are dead." Zeke muttered for the hundredth time as he paced around the campfire, a spare set of pants replacing what had been destroyed several days earlier and bandages covering the wounds that couldn't be healed immediately. "We are so fucking dead."

"Calm down Zeke." The elderly Dimitri sighed, knowing that it wouldn't do him any good. "We got our scare. They know this isn't intentional."

"Our hands are tied." Specks evenly stated. "We gave our word that we wouldn't trespass into active territory. The fact that the owners here stay in the background despite knowing of us, but still go out of their way to let us know tells that they are not foolish and lazy. They will know that this isn't of our doing or planning."

"Yeah, but you know how the guys upstairs get whenever someone screws up their fun, even if it was by accident." The only one standing argued back. "Fuck. I've only met three existences in my life that were big enough to actually claim universes by themselves, Stained Glass included. I don't know about you guys, but they all scare the shit out of me."

"I never would have guessed." The sensor deadpanned. "You joined in on this venture knowing that this realm was claimed."

"You know better than I do that most sealed off realms are just long term side projects to pricks upstairs." The pugilist leered at the well-dressed man. "Any being that can actually seal off a realm as well as this one would probably have ventures and more important things elsewhere. This place should be nothing more than an incubator put off to the side."

"Your fears are completely understandable. You are just strong enough to comprehend just how absurd and overwhelming such existences are. My first experience with those on that scale was no picnic either." The old man shrugged.

Zeke frowned as he glanced at Dima. "Compared to what you went through nearly anything is a cakewalk old man. It's no secret you're a survivor of-"

"Sylvia knows the current situation and is in contact with whoever owns this domain." The sensor interrupted. It would do no one good to make that particular incident the main topic of conversation. "She may be a bit flighty for my preference, but she is well aware of what is at stake. Even she is at risk should the owners come to the wrong conclusion about us. Perhaps if we knew who they were we might be able to negotiate something, but as it stands it is best that we are stuck on the sidelines."

"I doubt she's in any real danger." The most experienced one there muttered under his breath. "That woman has a history of getting out of absurd situations. That power of hers has frustrated more than a few that cast far greater shadows."

"But you're "Flash Bang" Dimitri." Zeke turned to the man skeptically. "You're a pretty damn big name all things considered, even if you aren't exactly a God Class. Even Stained Glass took you seriously when you came to her asking about this place. Your reputation isn't that bad as well, you get along with pretty much everyone. Wouldn't the owners hear you out? You know, so we can mitigate the fallout before it bites us in the ass?"

"You assume that I haven't made my own enemies over the centuries." Snorted the veteran bitterly. "Make no mistake, there are a good number of people and some gods after my head. So long as we don't know who they are, it's best we wait for them to come to us and hope they are in a pleasant mood. That means presence use is a minimum. Just because we've been pegged doesn't mean we're given free rein to go all out."

"Quite the opposite." Specks sighed as he leaned back against the tree. His eyes looking at the sky around him. "They know where to look now and who we are. It wouldn't be hard for them to find us if we mess up. The scary thing is that I can't see how they're doing it. Best I can assume is that they either have a function of some sort set up around the world or they're tapping into the planet's natural system. Well those or their sensory abilities naturally expand that far."

Zeke let out a loud grunt of frustration as he scratched at his head. "Fat load of help you are. You can look into the very nature and full history of anything that meets your gaze, down to how many times a person crapped themselves as a baby… but you couldn't see Carmen getting kidnapped by some timespace manipulating prick until it was too late."

o. o. o.

Amegakure:

"What your intention with this?" Pain stared emotionlessly at "Tobi's" latest acquisition. It wasn't often that the "inspiration" of Akatsuki came out into the open with something new, but whenever it did happen, things changed.

The woman, under what was no doubt a genjutsu, was clearly a foreigner. She was taller, curvier, and her facial structure was different than what was found on any of the demographics in the area. If she had been a local, the leader of Akatsuki would have at best assumed she her parentage involved a cross of some sort between the tan desert dwellers of the Land of Wind and the peculiar colored populace in the Land of Lightning.

What really stood out though was that under her unappealing and rather dirty outer cloak, the woman seemed to be carrying and composed of a massive array of metallic contraptions and devices that neither of them had ever seen the like of before. What was even more astounding was that much of what made up her body had been concealed by what seemed to be a perfect layer of skin that would cover up everything when folded up inside.

"Tobi", being the only one of the two that had something that resembled a sense of humor, momentarily wondered if they were looking at Sasori's soul mate. She certainly was more impressive to look at and easier to look at than the Scorpion, that much was certain.

"A simple question with many answers." The masked man didn't so much as twitch. "I found her near where we felt the Kyubi. The beast had destroyed the mountain next to the one she was on, and it was by simple chance that I had appeared near her."

"We are to capture the fox last." Pain's face and voice didn't change, but the hidden warning was clear.

"I was only gathering information." The Uchiha didn't even react to it. "You are as curious as I, are you not? The boy had disappeared for years, only to show up on the wrong side of the elemental nations wielding the full might of the fox's power. You would likely have done the same had it been within your power."

The "god" ignored the subtle jab at his power. "And what have you learned?"

Tobi held back a sigh. Nagato was a very capable and powerful pawn and leader, but his conversational skills were lacking. "Other than the fact that the boy can supposedly manifest the full fox to the point that he can destroy mountains from miles away? Not that much. Like I said, my first jump was not that accurate and I had lost the trail of the jinchuriki by the time I had arrived."

His eye scanned the woman in front of him. "This woman on the other hand, has proven to be an adequate, if not somewhat perplexing consolation prize."

Pain turned to look at Tobi with his rippled eyes, analyzing the masked man's movements for something that would betray his thoughts. "Oh? It is not often that something unexpected has this much of your attention. I must admit that the trinkets on her body are interesting, however it is not unlike my Asura Path. Do not tell me you are interested in what will likely be a spare replacement."

This time the Uchiha did snort as he took out a small cylinder like object and held the hollow end up. Pressing the button he had seen the woman hit earlier during their brief encounter, he watched as a beam of light that clearly resembled a sword with an eerie humming noise. He marveled at the fact that the device didn't take up any of his chakra, and the subtle but clearly intense heat emitted from the "blade". "Oh the woman's armaments were without a doubt interesting. If Sasori could replicate even a fraction of what she has it would prove to be a great boon to our efforts. However that wasn't what I was most interested in."

With a casual wave he sliced through the corner of the table the woman was lying on without any problems at all. His eyes noted the melted metal left where the weapon had come in contact.

Then he held out his left arm and casually swiped at it with the blade. It passed through with no resistance. He was unharmed and his arm was intact.

"What is that supposed to prove?" Nagato frowned. "I grow tired of your showboating."

"Just a test." Tobi frowned, deep in thought. "Pay it no mind."

His arm had not remained intact when she had done the same thing…

When he had first appeared near where he had sensed the Kyubi, he had initially intended to ignore the woman. She wasn't anyone important and didn't have any headbands on her, so he just chalked her up as a civilian that was at the wrong place at the wrong time… that happened to have survived being almost at ground zero of a biju bomb detonation with only a few minor scratches. Yeah he probably should have taken that into account earlier.

Regardless, she had noticed him rather quickly, which did make him edit his initial assumptions, and instantly went on guard.

The look she gave him told him that she didn't recognize him or his clothes at all, so in his defense he did try to just make her ignore him. At first he had attempted to just make her drop her guard with his usual goofball "Tobi" routine and persona…

Apparently he never got the memo that masked people that pop from out of nowhere and act like fools in the multiverse tend to be magnificently dangerous and malevolent individuals more often than not.

It didn't seem to appeal to the woman. He barely got three sentences out before she started to fire at him with her peculiar weapons and projectiles. He had counted twelve individual pipes and chakra conducting devices poking out of her cloak before they discharged right at him.

Whoever it was that she had in mind must have been someone formidable, since she nearly took out the top of the mountain they were on with her initial assault. Given the sharp look in her eyes the moment she started attacking, odds were that she had encountered someone else that used this tactic before and wasn't taking any chances.

Admittedly, Tobi was relieved his eye were able to catch the woman's subtle tells just before she attacked. Her projectiles were impossibly fast compared to the ninjutsu and projectiles that he was used to. His intangibility made him practically invulnerable to anything save for the strongest genjutsu, but only when it was active. He still had to activate it to make it of any use.

What happened next though was the real reason why he kidnapped her.

Not even before the flying debris reached the apex of their trajectories, the foreigner changed tactics. He had seen her eyes widen momentarily when she saw her attacks pass right through him before regaining their cool focus and she charged forward with no hesitation. The peculiar devices and weapons she had used earlier had disappeared under her coat in a heartbeat only to be replaced by the light sword that he was wielding now.

Tobi had decided to maintain his childish persona, having determined that the woman was peculiarly strong, but not a threat to him, and didn't try to run away from the attack…

One step away from him, he suddenly… saw? Felt? Experienced? … Some sensation was suddenly emitted from her that made her dangerous. Following his instincts he had pulled back and dodged at the last moment, but for some peculiar reason he felt as if his efforts simply… weren't… enough.

His intuition was proven correct as in that last second decision he had avoided getting killed and instead only lost his arm.

The next moment they had made eye contact, he had dropped her like a rock without holding back without any reservations.

Four seconds later he had grabbed the woman and his fallen arm and teleported away just as he felt someone else arrive. He didn't get a good look, but it was clear that the foreigner had allies, and if they were capable of harming him like she did he would be in a poor position given he needed to reattach his limb soon.

"You still have yet to say what you wish to do with her." Pain all but demanded, once more grating on Tobi's nerves. Whether it was on purpose or not the Uchiha didn't know, but he wouldn't be surprised either way.

"She revealed some interesting techniques during our brief encounter. Ones I feel might be useful for our cause." He replied honestly. Anyone that could actually harm him while he was intangible was someone of interest as far as he was concerned. Of course, he was going to be the first to learn and master it before its existence was revealed to the others. "I am going to interrogate her for all she is worth before having her teach them to the men. Sasori would probably be more than eager to talk to her about her trinkets and how they work."

"It has been several days since you brought her here." The formal leader of the group stated, all but pointing out that by all means they should have managed to get everything from her by now.

"Like I said, she has some peculiar jutsu and characteristics. I'm being a bit more thorough, but even so it's taking more time than expected to take hold. Keeping her alive and functional may be in our best interests." The one eyed man shrugged simply.

"… It is not often that you are willing to utilize your stronger genjutsu, and for such blatant purposes." This time Tobi really did have trouble reading Nagato. His voice was as neutral as ever, but what was underneath… it could be trepidation, curiosity, cautiousness, hell even excitement for all he knew.

He'd have to keep a close eye on the woman just in case someone else gets any smart ideas.

"We are hunting the Biju now." He shrugged simply. "We already know that at least some of the villages know that we are to act soon, or already acting. While I have confidence in our chances of success, it doesn't hurt to have an extra boost whenever possible. She doesn't seem to be from any of the villages so no one will miss or recognize her. Not mentioned in any bingo book either. Local, foreign, she doesn't show up in any that were made in the past decade."

"Someone of interest that you don't know much about. Even I am curious now." Pain mused. "I can see why you don't want me to take information via the normal means this time."

"I plan on interrogating her soon before putting her information to the test." Tobi ignored the man's comment. "What of the operations? Are they on schedule?"

"Yes. Despite the setback in Suna, we should still be on track for capturing the targets." Pain turned away from the unconscious woman. She was no longer the topic of conversation and she had no more importance for now. "These next two months should be quite productive."

"Indeed." Tobi didn't turn away, staring at the woman and contemplating all that had transpired lately. Despite Nagato's confidence at the information that the Uzumaki could control the Kyubi, something that was absolutely unheard of considering he was neither a Senju nor an Uchiha, Tobi was worried about something else.

Konoha had proven that they were more than prepared and aware of their presence and at least some of their goals. The incidents three years ago were enough to indicate as much, and their sudden rise of quality shinobi was another. The hidden leader of Akatsuki had no doubt that they were keeping their ears to the ground for their activities, and an open mind for any event that involved jinchuriki.

In short, he had doubt that the leaf would be completely ignorant to all of their schemes, and could very well get in the way of them if they tried. No, he was certain that they would at this point. They had yet to make a move, but it was only a matter of time, and now would be ideal for them to act. Especially since Naruto Uzumaki had finally revealed himself to the world once more.

Like the saying goes, it's only paranoia if no one is after you. He might not be in his enemy's scopes yet, but Akatsuki certainly was.

"You seem to be lost in thought quite frequently as of late." Pain stopped walking away but did not turn around.

"Better that than to assume that things will go perfectly at this stage. As competent as our forces are, I am not foolish enough to believe that everything will go to plan."

"You are having second thoughts?"

"No. Merely thinking of… alterations."

o. o. o.

Omake: There are some lines that even (most of) the Oogakari won't cross.

"Do it."

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Dew eeet."

"Hell no."

"I said do it woman!" Shadow snapped at Tsunade in her office, holding out a pen while leaning over a document for the woman to clearly sign.

"And I said no you insane little shit!" The Hokage snapped back, not relenting an inch despite facing down what was one of the most powerful existences in the multiverse. "I'm not making a "give Shadow Oogakari free candy on sight" holiday! We literally can't afford to do such an impossible thing! You're a black hole of sugar and artificial preservatives!"

"It is a black hole made by GOD! NOW BOW AND OBEY!" The immortal argued, waving her pen around in a childish manner.

"I've suddenly become atheist. Now since I don't believe in you anymore, disappear in a way that gets you out of my office so I can do my damn job." The Senju countered bluntly.

"You will follow my decree or else… or else…" The sugar crazed woman fumbled on her words as she tried to think of something to get her point across. "Can't do that… did that last week… saving that one for a bachelor party next month… oh… oh I know… eheheheh."

"Shadow, we had an agreement. No maniacal laughter during business hours or in public." Tsunade deadpanned. "Need I remind you of how Waltz reacted when you lost control over yourself near the orphanage?"

"Heheheheh." It wasn't a full blown laughter with three different octaves and heard for miles around, but it was still creepy. "You will sign my paper, or else I will enact… Operation Ladyboner."

"… Operation what now?"

"Operation Lady-"

Crack!

The immortal was interrupted as Crypt's head burst through the floorboards. It would have been almost normal for him, had he not been growling menacingly at his sister like a rabid dog.

SLAM!

The main door burst open at the might of Waltz Oogakari's might… then slammed back into place, blocking any further entry from the half a dozen shinobi and civilians that had seen the old man appear from nowhere and barge into the woman's office.

"The hell you're going to do that to us Shadow!" The giant all but shouted. "You know damn well that one is restricted for a reason!"

"She forced my hand." The girl smiled sweetly, completely ignoring the fact that she was pegged so quickly. "Besides, Zuzushi wants it too."

It was only then that Tsunade noticed that the Elder Demon Dragon Goddess… Thing, had materialized on its container's head in its miniature form and was nodding its head eagerly like a child.

"Zuzushi be damned! We are not pulling off Ladyboner!" Ghost snapped from behind Tsunade, making the woman jump in surprise and almost making her slug him halfway across the village on pure reflex.

"I concur." Scabbard's voice echoed throughout the room, indicating that he had not only bugged it at some point, but had taken liberties to put in speakers too. "I know we have agreed that Ladyboner was permitted once max per main town we live in, but the timing and the purpose for it are irrational."

Crypt growled in what could only be considered agreement.

"But!" Shadow began to argue in self defense with wide innocent eyes. Zuzushi mimicked her host's actions perfectly.

"NO!" The four brothers snapped in unison. It must have been damn important if Crypt was being coherent for once.

"Squeak!" Zuzushi tried to argue in their defense.

Crypt countered by growling even louder. It would have probably had more of an impact if he wasn't focusing on giving a nearby chair the death glare.

"Don't you remember the last time we did it?!" Ghost stressed.

"It was beautiful!" Shadow threw her arms up in the air.

"It was a nightmare!" Waltz mimicked her gesture. "It traumatized Crypt! CRYPT! There's barely enough of him left TO traumatize anymore! And he hated the damn thing before that!"

Crypt growled in agreement as he continued to slide through the floor and constantly bump his head into a nearby bookshelf.

Tsunade sweatdropped and remained quiet, not bothering to remind the immortals that she was in the room.

"Brothers. Subjugate the offenders." Scabbard's voice coldly demanded from the intercom, and from Tsunade's perspective everything around her blurred in various colors and noises. For a brief moment she had been experiencing the world with an additional five senses before everything once more fell back into place.

Her office appeared to still be in once place minus some shallow cuts into the floors, some black tentacles hanging from the ceiling, and the demonic circle glowing beneath a tied up, blindfolded, and gagged pair of Shadow and Zuzushi.

"Send them away! Send them to the bad place with the stuff and things!" Ghost claimed with flamboyant authority.

Moments later the seal glowed bright enough to blind the room, her room was fixed and they were all gone…

Save for Crypt who was now sticking out of the ceiling and sleeping peacefully.

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched irritably. "I don't suppose you'd give me some exposition would you?"

"She wanted us to strip in public in a very sexy way." The sleeping man replied evenly. "We are very pretty. It would have cause many women to question themselves and their preferences. Eventually they would force themselves on their boyfriends to convince themselves they aren't crazy. Then they'd see me and do it again."

"… What."

"I'm a natural super bishi. Women try to rape me if I put an effort into looking pretty and am covered in baby oil. I don't like it. They don't go away. Like the floor. Women are spawn of the floor… eeeeevvviiillll."

The Hokage stared at the head on the ceiling for almost a minute before calmly getting up, walking to the door, opening it, and sticking her head out.

"… Shizune! Double, no, TRIPLE my work load today!"

There was a brief and awkward silence before Shizune approached her boss. There was no doubt she had heard of Shadow and Waltz bursting into her room by now. "That bad?"

"It's either this or I drink myself blind within half an hour."

"… I'll get the civilian requests. They should keep you busy till you pass out."

"You have no idea how much that means to me. You really don't, and I pray you never will."

o. o. o.

A/N:

… Ok. Long story short, my holiday vacation sucked on multiple reasons. Both personal and for my family. I won't go into the personal, but on the family side, my grandfather died five days before Christmas and wrecked the pacing of things. Hell we're still dealing with the fallout. Doesn't help that everyone kept on saying he was the person I got most of my personality from… not the funny bits, the man was dull as hell, but everything else. Hell I even saw him half a day earlier and while he looked like crap he didn't seem at death's door just yet.

On the other side, I got the line "I said Cocks, not Fox!" from this entire fiasco. Word for word. No joke… kinda. It made sense in context and had relevance to the situation. Sad thing is that it's probably going to be one of the things I'll remember the most about granddad dying.

Grandma's not taking it well either way. She's already starting to show some unsettling signs of shock.

But yeah, I got absolutely screwed over this holiday season and everything is out of whack. All the big stuff happened in a week and snowballed from there. Actually the first few events came just before I posted the last chapter, which explains the lack of an Authors note for it. This chapter probably would have come out earlier if I wasn't assaulted from all sides at once.

Onto less stressful things.

Fate Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works… obviously. Playing Alpha Saphire. Got lots of things off of the steam winter sales. Read some fics. Watched the third hobbit movie. Sister got a pet chameleon. It died cause it was sick from the get go. Then she got a pet baby pet corn snake, so my Sundays are entertained by feeding it frozen baby mice. Only have a few more classes to finish my graduate degree so that's something. She also got net flicks for Christmas so the family has been abusing it like crazy.

Naruto's over. I read the summery of the last movie and… honestly, Kishimoto can't write a love story for the life of him. Plus… moon people? Ignoring the stupidity of that alone, wasn't the whole, body thing of the ten tails sealed in the moon. Wouldn't they… you know… notice the damn thing if it went missing? Wouldn't they be obligated to do something about the end of the world? Its just… ugh. This is why I don't argue against people that convince themselves that my story is the new cannon. It's less stupid…

Let me repeat myself. Yet Again With A Little Extra Help and Take Two Round Two, are LESS STUPID than CANNON.

Just… just let that sink in for a bit.

Yeah.

Anyways, holiday season is over, but if possible I would like something to counteract the shitty mood I've been in lately. Fanarts of my versions of the Naruto characters would be nice. Oogakari would be good too, but there's a lack of the former. The new designs were mentioned in TTRT chapter… 2 or 3 I believe. Plus some updates in the characters section of tvtropes would be good too.

So… yeah. Plot wise, this is where things really start to deviate from cannon and go to hell. I know people have been complaining about how Akatsuki is going to be overrun easily now, well here is the beginning of me letting out the evil laughter that I've been holding back since people started to complain, and believe me it's only going to get louder and harder as time goes on.

Honestly, how could you doubt that I wouldn't make this easy for the main characters? If I wanted this story to be an easy sweep I could have ended it in YAWALEH. Fuck that. People are going to die on both sides and things are going to get twisted.

But in an amusing and epic way for the most part. It wouldn't be YAWALEH and TTRT if it wasn't.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! BEWARE THE LADYBONER! AND REVIEW AGAIN!