A/N: So, I got a new phone a couple weeks ago and it is completely awesome! I love it! Anyway, Valkryie's a teenage girl, right? Wouldn't Skulduggery have to deal with the texting phase all teenagers go through? I suspect he wouldn't take it very well...

The italics is for texts. The first section starts with Val, the second with Tanith.

Val: age 14

Lavender is for distrust…

bored… bored… bored…

lol

im so bored!!

thx captain obvious lyk i couldnt already tell.

ugh im so bored!!!

lol lol lol lol lol…

"Valkyrie? Valkyrie, are you listening to me?"

Valkyrie looked up, her eyes slightly glazed over. "Hmm? Oh, yeah Skulduggery. I heard everything."

Her partner's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Then what did I say?" he asked, his voice strained.

The color drained from Valkyrie's face as she gawked at him. "Umm… I need to be more, uh… disciplined?" she replied weakly.

Skulduggery sighed. "Nice try, and yes, but no. Valkyrie, you need to be more attentive. I was giving you a very important lesson…"

dont teL me ur mad me nw.

im not mad. sp jst went off on a tirade 'gen.

ugh he nEdz 2 git a Lyf.

lol

"Are you ignoring me again?"

"What?"

"Valkyrie, look at me!"

Valkyrie lifted her head and looked at the skeleton next to her. Even though his face was stuck in a perpetual grin, she was sure he would be glaring venomously at her if he could. She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him.

"Yes?" she said tentatively.

"Valkyrie, what did I just say?"

" 'Valkyrie look at me'?"

"Before that."

" 'Are you ignoring me again?'"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, that's what you said!"

"What did I say before that?" he hissed in irritation.

Valkyrie hesitated a moment, then her head dropped. "I don't know," she mumbled.

Skulduggery shook his head. "Honestly Valkyrie, I thought you, being female, were capable of multitasking. I had no idea that you couldn't accomplish even that simple feat."

Valkyrie reached over and socked him in the arm, her knuckles turning red with the force of colliding with hard bone. Skulduggery acted as if a fly had landed on him, swatting at her hand. "What are you doing anyway?"

Valkyrie tried to hide her shiny new mobile phone behind her back. "Nothing," she replied innocently. "I just wasn't listening."

"You're lying to me. What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" she protested fervently, even as the phone began to chirp and vibrate in her palm.

"Valkyrie, give it to me!" Taking his eyes off the road, they struggled as he reached across her waist, their hands grappling for possession of the phone. In the end Skulduggery, being stronger and having much longer arms than she, won, snatching the phone out of her fingers.

In his gloved hand, he held a mobile about three inches long, two inches wide, and three-quarters of an inch thick. The cover was black, the buttons a bright violet printed with red numbers, and when you pushed the side with your thumb just right it slid open, revealing a miniature keyboard. When he clicked a button on the cover, a purple and white background flashed up, along with the message, "1 Unread Message: Tanith."

"What is this Valkyrie?" he asked, holding it up to his empty eye socket. "Your mobile?"

"Give it back Skulduggery!" she snapped, stretching her fingers out to try and swipe it from his palm. He subtly shifted in the seat, placing the phone slightly out of her reach as it began to twitter impatiently again.

"Oh, another message from Tanith," he said, pulling his hand behind his back as Valkryie's head practically fell into his lap. "This thing is rather annoying. No wonder you were ignoring me."

"Give it Skulduggery! It's brand new, you're gonna scratch it!"

"How am I going to scratch it? I'm wearing gloves, Valkyrie."

"Skulduggery, if you don't give me my phone back I'm going to go find the biggest dog there is and tell him to dig a hole and bury you in it!"

The skeleton sighed, grumbled something under his breath that vaguely sounded like, 'Charming, that is,' before dropping the black and violet phone in her lap. "Stop whining already. You're giving me a headache."

"I wasn't whining, and for that comment you don't get a 'thank you.'" Eagerly picking up the phone, she hit the center button to bring up the menu and check her messages.

The screen remained black.

Valkyrie tried again. The screen didn't change. She then turned to glare at the skeleton at her side. "What did you do to my phone Skulduggery?" she growled.

Skulduggery kept his eyes on the road, pointedly drumming his fingers along the rim of the steering wheel. Almost as soon as the words left her mouth, there was a distinctive crunch as the Bentley cruised over a slight bump.

Her jaw dropped as Skulduggery continued to drive. Tilting his head slightly in her direction, he shrugged. "You shouldn't have been ignoring me," he said simply.

P.S. He 'disposed' of the battery. Told ya he wouldn't take it well :)