"James!" I groaned at his ceiling as he changed for our night out.
"Kendall!" He mimicked me with a soft laugh.
"No, you know I don't like to bowl. I think it's boring and we all can't have a normal conversation because we have to keep getting up to throw a stupid ball down a piece of wood." I complained as I fidgeted with the buttons on my gray plaid. "I mean, seriously, why bowling? Why not like…." Yeah, I got nothing.
"Exactly," James said as he plopped down on his bed beside me and looks up at his ceiling before turning his head to look at me. I kept my eyes on the boring white. "We have nothing better to do in this little old town, and besides. It's supposed to snow like a bitch tonight so mom doesn't want us to leave town."
"I really don't think that this snow storm is gonna be all their making it out to be." I replied now glancing over at James who is now looking at his ceiling. "Has Carlos or Logan texted you back yet?"
James reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out before holding it above us and checked for any messages, nada. "Nope," he said before he opened a blank text and made it so that it would send the same message to both boys. I watched as he typed, 'Get over here bitches before Kendall has a hissy fit.' And with that he sent it.
He turned his head and looked at me and stuck out his tongue, and I just made a face at him. Just as he was turning his head back to the phone he dropped it on his face and he let out a loud groan and held his face, rolling onto his stomach, "Oh, my fucking God!" He screamed into the mattress. Yeah, it hurts like a mother fucker and I don't advise any one to do this at home.
I tried to hold back a laugh but I couldn't. Does that make me a bad boyfriend? I rolled over to him so that I was lying across his back and had my chin on his shoulder and I talked quietly to him through my giggles, "Aw, are you alright babe?" I let out another laugh, "And Karma is a fucking bitch, huh?"
"Yes," his word was barely audible as he spoke into the covers. "And fuck you!"
I laughed again and gently dragged my tongue over his neck before I whisper into his ear, "You know you wanna."
He rolled over so that I was now resting on his chest and he smiled at me. And I couldn't help but laugh again at the red mark on his forehead and I shifted so that I was straddling his lap before I leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to it. "Feel better, babe?" I asked in a mocking tone.
"I hate you." He muttered through a pout but I could see that he was trying with all his might not to smile.
"Aww, you're so fucking sweet!" I exclaimed excitedly. I was about to rock back onto his groin before his phone vibrated on the bed next to us, lucky bastard, and he grabbed it and looked at it. "Really, do you wanna repeat what just happened?" I asked watching him hold his phone above his face, again.
"Nope and Carlos is at least on his way." James said before lying the phone on the bed next to us again and I decide that I'm going to be nice and not give everyone a show at the bowling alley.
He reached up and placed his hands on my hips and gently rocked me back, so much for my plan. "You know, it's been a while." His voice is so hot when he sports that seductive tone, and I bite down on my lower lip.
"James, it's been since yesterday." I say in a matter of fact tone.
"Yeah, yesterday morning." Really?
"You know what I find strange?" I ask my voice more serious and thoughtful.
He continues rocking my hips gently as we speak and I am leaned over with my hands splayed across each side of his chest, "What's that?"
I'm trying to think of what to say but it's not all that easy as I feel him slowly becoming hard underneath me and I stare down at his face, which is sporting a sly smile, thank you God for creating such a beautiful creature and allowing him to be mine. I finally get my shit together and I'm able to speak, "That it's only been a week since you took my virginity and I feel like we have been together like this for years."
He stills our movements and his face turns thoughtful before he speaks slowly, his voice almost a whisper, "Yeah, but we are also just now starting to act like are together and not just friends, that wasn't easy for either of us, you know?" He paused for a moment before continuing, "Like, we basically still act the same towards each other as we always have but now we are getting the hang of the fact that it's ok to touch each other, even in the smallest ways. I had to think about it before telling myself, 'It's alright, James, your aloud to hold his hand' or 'no he's not going to punch you if you kiss him'"
I lean forward with a small smile and I gently kiss his lips before pulling back slightly to speak against his lips, not opening my eyes, "I would never," I kiss him again, "hit you for kissing me." And I go in to kiss him again but I feel him shake his head and I look at him in confusion.
He looks annoyed when he speaks, "Really? That's what you took for my little speech?"
I'm about to protest when we hear the door open to James' bedroom and I look over my shoulder to see Carlos standing there with a slightly shocked expression on his face before he smiles and makes his way into the room and closes the door behind him, "Am I interrupting something?" He asks with a mischievous smile.
I smile at the Latino and shake my head, "Nope, we were just talking."
His smile gets bigger before he says, "Oh, that's what the kids call it now days?" And he laughs.
I reach out to hit him but he rushes over and wraps his arms around me and holds my tight around the shoulders and chest, rocking me back and forth and saying in a ridiculous tone, "Oh, my God, Kendall! I love you so much!" He drags out the 'so' and I hear James groan from beneath me and we both stop moving and laughing.
James reaches up and grabs my hips moving me to the side and letting me rest on the bed and as I'm straightening up I realize the erection my boyfriend is sporting and he stands trying to hide it but it's too late, me and Carlos have both seen and break out in laughter.
"I really do hate both of you." James grumbles as he fixes his shirt that is twisted around his middle and I stand off the bed and move towards him and wrap my arms around his neck bringing him in for a kiss. I drag it out, letting our lips slide together with ease and I feel him rest his hands on my hips, pulling them closer to his as he deepens the kiss, though I pull away quickly when Carlos clears his throat awkwardly from the bed and I separate myself from my boyfriend just as Logan walks into the room and Carlos lights up like a Christmas tree. I watch as he prances over to the smaller brunette and wraps his arms around him tightly and he says, "Thank you, thank you so much for saving me from these idiots!"
As Carlos pulls away from him Logan slides his arm around the Latino's waist and holds him close before looking between James and me before shaking his head, "You know what? Don't tell me what just happened. I don't wanna know." Though, he was suppressing a small smile.
We pulled up to the bowling alley, which was packed, and filed out of the car before walking inside. I really don't want to bowl but I guess if that's what the other three want my vote is out. And to be honest, if their happy then I can at least pretend to be.
As we were walking up to the counter to pay for a lane I heard someone call out to us and I saw that it was Dak and his girlfriend, Jo. We don't really hang around them much but I don't mind spending time with them. James put his hand in mine and gave it a small squeeze as we walked towards the other male. He must be feeling insecure about Jo being here, even though she has Dak now.
A few years ago I had a huge crush on Jo. She was everything I ever wanted in a girl, she was cute, funny, sweet, and never said a bad thing about anyone. I remember one night James was spending the night at my house and I kept him up for an hour and a half telling him all the things that I liked about Jo. Now that I think about it I feel awful, I don't know if he had any sort of crush on me then or not, though I know he must have since he talked me out of making a move on her by telling me that she had a boyfriend in a different school. In this moment though, I'm grateful that he lied to me because God knows what life would be like if he hadn't. I know I wouldn't have him right now.
I reach out and take his hand in mine before pulling him towards me and I give him a quick peck on the lips before I let go of him with a smile.
I say a quick hello to Dak before I move past him, patting him quickly on the shoulder, before I make my way to Jo. I lean over and give her a quick hug before I settle in the seat that is next to her.
"Hey, how are you doin?" I ask, hoping my voice is loud enough for her to hear me over the music.
She leans forward before she gives me her responds, "I'm good. We just finished a game." She pointed over her shoulder towards the TV that had a screen up instructing how to start another game.
I'm not really sure what to say now and I can feel myself begin to blush. God, what the hell? I know that I don't have feelings for her. Maybe I'm still worked up about the fact that she was my first real crush and that I told James everything that I loved about her, in lots of detail.
After a moment of silence I turn in my seat so that my back is facing her and I look up at the four other males who are having a conversation that I can't make out over the pounding music. The sound cuts off for a moment before a song comes on that I know we all know and I feel it thrumming through my body.
I turn back around in my seat and I catch Jo's eye and I smile at her and begin to sing along to the lyrics, and she soon catches on before she begins to sing along with me and I start to think back to the first time I heard this song:
It was, God, probably eight years ago and James and I were down in my basement watching a movie when Carlos and Logan came running down the stairs, not bothering to do it quietly and ran in front of the couch that we were resting on and held a CD out for us to see. Logan almost collided with him, oh and they weren't dating back them either.
"Look at what I got!?" Carlos asked with so much excitement I couldn't help but smile.
I reached out and I grabbed it from him and read the front, "Nickelback? Never heard of 'em." I shrug my shoulders and hand it over to James who has his hand out waiting for me to give it to him.
"Oh," He says before turning it over to read the name of the songs on the back of the casing, "I think I've heard of them. I heard one of the guys on the hockey team talking about them."
Carlos snatches it back from the brunette and while he is walking towards the CD player he speaks, "I know! I haven't listened to it yet." He inserts the CD and turns the case over and says, "I heard that Animals is a good one on here." And he gives a small snicker before turning to that song. Logan took a seat on the arm of the couch beside James and waited for the music to begin.
As soon as the music starts to play I start drumming my on my knees and I smile over at James, yes, I had a crush on him way back then alright? As soon as the lyrics began to come through I knew that I loved the song. Damn, I wanted to get with James right then and there. I glanced over at him and he was watching me and he broke out in a smile and he was rocking back and forth with the beat. I turned to look at Carlos who was tapping the side of the table. The chorus rang out for the second time, and I silently declared it as our song, though I would never say that out loud. I'm really not that cheesy. As we were singing the second half of the song I glanced back and James and I realized just how dirty it was and we locked eyes, and that was the moment that I realized how hard I was falling for my best friend, and fast.
Once the song is over I stand and say to Jo, "How about we all go into the bar and sit on the couches in there and catch up?"
"That sounds good, let's collect these guys first," She says as she points at the others.
As soon as I turn I catch James' eye and my smile quickly fades. He is looking at me like he just caught me in bed with someone else and it sends a shiver up my spine, as if his eyes are piercing through my skin.
I try and shake it off and wander towards him and take his hand, reaching over to kiss his neck lightly, and I don't get a much of a response, only a slight squeeze of the hand. "Come on babe, let's go into the bar."
As I begin to pull James towards the bar Jo is pulling Dak and Carlos and Logan are following close behind. As soon as we walk in I find a few couches in the back of the bar and point at them. As we approach I realize that there isn't enough room for all of us so I gently push James down and I move into his lap. Dak and Jo go and return their shoes before they join us on the couch across from the one that me, James, Logan, and Carlos are occupying, Carlos is sitting on Logan's lap.
As soon as I'm sitting he is wrapping his arms around me protectively, though he doesn't look happy, at all. Shit. I know that this has to do with the fact that I was singing such a sexual song with of all people, Jo. But James knows that I don't have feelings for her anymore and she has Dak. I'm sitting on his lap sideways so I'm easily able to look down at him and I tilt his chin up and I place a gentle kiss to his lips before I pull away and whisper, so only he can hear, "I love you."
"I love you too," It wasn't exactly what I wanted; he mumbled it and didn't even look at me when he said it. He stared across the room towards the people standing at the bar. What the fuck?!
I let it go because I don't want anything to go down right now. An hour passes where we just talk and mess around a little. I almost murdered Carlos when he said that he was going to the bathroom when instead he had snuck behind me with an ice cube and put it down the back of my shirt. Damn, that shit was cold.
It was almost midnight when I saw Logan push Carlos up to his feet and he looked behind him out the window and I followed suit, groaning when I saw that there was already a dusting of snow on the ground and it didn't look like it was going to let up any time soon. "Well, James, I think that we should get back to your place before your mom has a bitch fit at us for being out so late and with the snow starting."
I stand and stretch my back, letting out a relieved sigh when it cracks. I turn and put my hand out to James to help him up but he ignores it and gets up on his own. Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're still pissed about me singing a song with Jo? Ugh, you're being a pussy, James. Of course I can't say all this out loud without making a scene but no one can stop me from thinking it. We are going to have a major discussion when we get home.
After I wipe the shock off my face I look up at him and hold out my hand, "Can I have the key's to go and warm up the car?" To my surprise he complies and hands them over, and to just add fuel to the fire I walk around the coffee table and give Jo and tight hug before turning on my heel and walking towards the door, but before I get there someone is grabbing me by the wrist and I turn quickly and speak in a low growl trying to rip my arm from their grasp, "Don't fucking touch me, James." But my face immediately softens when I realize that it's Logan who is holding my wrist, but all I want to do is get away.
As I begin to walk away from him he moves quickly so that he is standing next to me, "Ok, Kendall. What the hell is wrong with, James?"
Wow, the prick was being that obvious? I thought he was gonna ask what the hell was up with me. "He's jealous." I state simply and adjust the keys so that I can use the automatic unlock as we approach the door that leads us outside.
"Jealous?" Logan says quietly as we push through the doors as if he is saying the word for the first time.
"Yeah. Jealous."
"Of what?" he asks in disbelief.
"I think of Jo." We are moving towards the vehicle now and I see that it is covered in snow. "While you guys were talking me and her were sitting at the table and Animals came on and we were singing it together. I didn't know that it was a sin to sing a song with a friend."
I'm now pulling open the passenger side door and put the key in the ignition before turning it and turning the defrosters on full blast before shutting that door and moving towards the back to grab the scraper out of the back seat to scrape off James' windshield.
"So let me get this straight, he is pissed off because he is jealous at you for singing a sexual song with a chick that you used to have a crush on?" He asked matter of fact like.
"Yup." I reply as I'm moving around the car brushing the snow off of all the windows, but I'm thankful it comes off easy cause there isn't any ice, yet.
"Wow, sometimes I wonder if James needs help with his anger problems."
I can't help but to smile at that because it's true, "And they say I have issues."
"Well, really, you both do." I glare at him and he takes a step back, raising his hands in defense.
By this time I'm finished and I throw the scraper into the back seat before slipping into the passenger seat and Logan is getting in behind me. As I'm rubbing my hands together and pulling my jacket tighter to my body I look up and see James and Carlos coming out of the bowling alley. I watch as James talks and he is using many hand gestures and I understand most of them as 'what the fuck.' I smile gently as Carlos throws his head back and I can see his breath come out thickly and I can almost hear him groaning and James shoots him a glare.
"Logan, I'm sorry that my boyfriend is a prick and decided to take it out on Carlos." I say as I keep my eyes on my boyfriend and friend.
"Eh, he will be fine." Logan says from the back seat and I know that he is also watching this play out in front of us.
I want to tell him that I'm sorry about the fact that him and Carlos are going to have to endure this awkward and possibly violent car ride but I don't get the chance because James is now getting into the driver's seat and throwing on his seat belt while Carlos gets in the back seat.
It's not until we are driving and no one has said a word that I realize I can't take this any more so I turn in my seat and I stare at James. After a moment he takes a glance at me with a confused look, almost innocent, and asks, "What?"
"Oh, no you don't. You know exactly what, James." My voice is normal volume but I can almost taste the poison coming from my words.
He glances at me one more time and I resist the urge to acknowledge the other two males sharing this unfortunate car ride. I'm crossing my arms over my chest as I wait for him to speak. "You know what, Kendall, this isn't my fault. You're the one that was singing that song with your former crush."
"Yeah, James," My voice is beginning to gain volume, "Former I have no feelings for her any more. She is just a friend." I pause, "Not even. We haven't spoken in months until tonight. It's just a song and it doesn't mean anything. So what if she was singing it with me. It's not like we were grinding. What makes you not trust me, James? I'm the one who should be, and is, having a hard time trusting." Oh, fuck. I did not just say that out loud. I haven't ever brought this up to him, though I know that he knows about my insecurities with him.