Hello everybody. I know i said I'll try not to disapoint you but there's a possibility i have a serious desease and i couldn't really concantrate.. Hope everything's just fine.. So sorry for any shit done n this chapter guys! Enjoy!

R& Review please.

Previous chapter: She'd be hurt, probably cry herself out that night. He knew. But he was there to offer her full support for as much as she'd need it. He wasn't going to leave her all alone. But he had to tell her...He had to tell her right that moment..

He looked deep in her enticing brown eyes, that would be filled with tears in a few minutes. He didn't want to be the one who'd cause them but both Cragen and the other detectives thought it'd be better if he'd tell her. Of course Amanda could tell her, Finn could tell her, John could tell her. But it had to be Elliot. He knew her better than anyone, he could comfort her better than anyone..

"Olivia, I need to talk to you about Nick.." He said, breaking the silence that had covered the room the past few minutes.

"Oh yeah Nick, Elliot thanks for reminding me! I need to call him. He said he didn't have much work to do but he's too late for just some paperwork" She answered and stood up searching for her phone.

"He's not coming Liv.." Elliot muttered, his eyes staring at the floor. Olivia froze..She took her time and thought of his words that had just escaped. She then rushed back at him.
"What do you mean El?" She said looking straight at him. He didn't answer, neither looked at her. "What do you mean?" she said again, her voice raised, and now more fear was hidden behind her question. Elliot sighed and looked at her, he stood up so as to face her better.

"He's not coming. He had to.. go undercover." He said and embraced her. She pulled back and look at him tears now threatening to fall.

"What?"

"It wasn't really much of his choice Olivia. His ex-wife got into drugs. She asked for his help and his former Captain saw it as an opportunity to collar a big gang that inserts huge amounts of cocaine. I don't really know details but that's what he told me to tell you. I'm sorry Liv. Believe me it was a tough decision for him too. He didn't want to leave you alone.."

"But he did." She screamed as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. She couldn't believe it. They just got their daughter home. She had called him, and talked to him just a few hours ago. They had just got were supposed to enjoy it. Be together. He was supposed to help her through motherhood. Where was he now?

Elliot made another effort to held her in his arms, and this time she didn't pull back. She just let the hot tears roll down her face, and sobs replace her beautiful voice. Elliot caressed the back of her head.

"It's okay Liv. I'm here for you. You know I am. For as much as you need me. It's okay." He wrapped his arms tighter around her and didn't let her go till his phone rang.

"Pick it up" She said and pulled back, wiping her tears away. She heard Elliot talking with who she supposed it was Kathy n the phone, but didn't really pay attention. She was thinking of Nick. Again, how could he do this to her. How could he leave her all alone. She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped as she didn't see Elliot coming toward her.

"Liv, that was Kathy. She's home. I can stay here with you if you want me to though.." She put the brave face on.

"No El, it's okay. I'm fine.. Go home." She said and moved n her daughter's room, shutting the door behind her and not coming back till Elliot and Eli left.

The next morning everyone went back to the precinct except Olivia. Non of them thought she'd come anyways. Amanda was sitting on her desk, continuously looking at the entrance, hoping that Olivia would appear. Elliot had told them about last night and he himself, wanted to call Olivia and check on her so badly, but he knew he shouldn't. He'd probably stop by after work. He couldn't made up his mind on what was the right think Nick should do. Go undercover or stay with his wife and their daughter. He tried to put himself in Nick's position but still, he didn't know what would he do.

Olivia's appearance in the precinct took everyone by surprise. She walked to her desk and dropped her purse n there. She was dressed n a dark purple t-shirt and black Palazzos, not much of a Benson outfit.

'Motherhood got deep into you didn't it?" Amanda said as she rushed toward her and pulled her n a hug. Olivia hugged the tinier detective back and forced a smile as they pulled back. "How are you Liv?" she whispered to her, looking her straight in the eyes.

"I'm fine" she murmured and patted Amanda's shoulder. It was then that Cragen walked out of his office ready to say something, but changed his words as he saw Olivia standing there.

"Liv, I wasn't counting on seeing you in today. You alright?" She just nodded, and he spoke again. "We have a case guys. A woman named Annabelle Steward was raped early this morning. She says she was raped before and is asking for detective Benson" he and the other detectives looked at Olivia. She also seemed surprised and wish that person wasn't someone she knew too well.

"I'm on my way Captain." She said but he stopped her..

"Liv, before you go.. Just.. don't get to angry with Nick.."

"If you mean not let this affect my job it won't happen captain" She said a little bit offended, thinking that her captain didn't trust her enough. She moved again but Cragen spoke once more.

"And Liv, Zara needs a safe place to stay. Her grandparents volunteered but, she says she wants you..You think about it and let me know." She left the precinct not looking back at captain, not talking to anyone, just followed by Amanda who was enough for her. She was a great support and support was all Olivia needed at the moment.

Arriving at the crime scene Olivia saw a familiar face standing next to the victim.

"George?" She said as she and Amanda approached them.

"Olivia, it.. it happened again.." he said looking at her and then to the frightened woman who was obviously the victim. Olivia knelt in front of the woman, who she understood was George's sister. The one he had mentioned yesterday at the park. She seemed so young. In her middle twenty's maybe..

"Hello sweetie, can you tell me what happened?" The woman looked at her and with shaking hands wrapped her arms around her. "it's okay sweetie." Olivia murmured.

She pulled back and started talking. " He.. he grabbed me from behind as I was walking back home fr-from work. He- he said, You shouldn't let the police know bitch. I think you need a lesson again. And then he-he raped me" She burst into tears as soon as she finished her story. Olivia held her hand in hers. She couldn't believe that woman, was raped again, by who it seems to be the same man, because her brother let Olivia know about it, and she wasn't angry with her at all.

"Annabelle, did he use a condom?" The woman nodded as the paramedics took her and rode away saying they had to examine her soon.

"Where do you know her from?" Amanda asked her as they both headed back to the car.

"I met her brother yesterday at the park, where I went with Amja.. he told me about her rape. But how could her rapist already know?"

"I don't know Liv."

"It almost escaped me. Amanda, I had some calls yesterday from some private number.. you think it can be related?"

"Again Liv, I don't know. Let's find out what we can."

"Olivia.." the detectives turn their heads to where they thought the voice came from. It was George. "Olivia hey, I need to ask you. Will you, will you guys investigate my sister's rape this time?" She gave him a sympathetic smile, as her eyes stopped at the little baby boy he was holding n his arms.

"Yeah George. We will. I promise you I won't stop till I get him okay?" She answered, still looking at the little boy that was peacefully sleeping. He wasn't more than six months old.. maybe less. Could he be Annabelle's rape product? That thought crossed her mind but she didn't dare to ask.

"Thank you.. Olivia thank you so much.." he said and gave her a smile before leaving, with three young boys following him n his car.

She was now sitting again on her desk. They had arrived back at the precinct two hours ago. Amanda was using her computer skills to find out anything that could help them find this perp. Other cases with same MO or anything... Fin and Munch were gone half an hour ago to talk to some people in Annabelle's life, and see if anyone noticed someone following her the last days. Elliot was doing nothing.. he pretending to be looking at some files, but he was only thinking of whether or not should he go talk and comfort her. She was just, silently staring at Nick's empty desk, with the sense of loss so powerful... Her gaze was into the far distance, unseeing but fixed on some imaginary future of a life without him. She maybe was overreacting, but she missed him so badly. She wasn't even able to talk to him, and she didn't know for how long would he be away. A tightening of her throat and a short intake of breath forecast the explosion of emotion which she managed to keep buried deep inside. Not anymore thought, the vision she had, began to swim in front of her as tears welled from deep inside and coursed down her cheeks. She bit her lip, keeping herself from sobbing aloud. Her eyes turned red as she continued crying n silence, her sweaty forehead pressed against the edge of her desk. Her mascara mixed up with her tears ran down her face too.

She heard Cragen's door opening and wiped her tears away with her hands, trying to hide the fact that she was crying, but her red eyes and the black signs her mascara left on her cheeks didn't help her. The same time her phone rang, she picked it up, not looking at Cragen who was already looking back at her.

"Benson. Who is it? Oh, hello miss Amaro, yeah I'm fine thank you. Well actually I'm working now... Yeah, yeah okay.. meet you there. Thank you" She put her phone n the desk and looked at Cragen. "It was um, it was Nick's mum, she wants to meet me about Zara. Is it okay if I leave for twenty minutes captain?" She tried to seem brave and not hurt, like always. Cragen passed her a tissue.

"Go wash your face first. Go talk to her, and don't come back today Olivia. I'll have Amanda inform you if anything new comes up."

"With all due respect Captain, two detectives gone is a little too much for the unit isn't it? I can stand this. You need to trust me."

"I do trust you Olivia. But that's an order." he said and went back to his office,not giving her the chance to answer back nor to fight this. She sighed and hit her fist n her desk with great force, she herself feeling a sharp pain hitting her hand as she let out a small scream, without wanting too though.

"Oh Gosh" Amanda said and rushed to her. She wrapped a hand around her waist and with her other hand she held Olivia's hurt one. Elliot passed her some ice and she gently touched it n Olivia's skin.

"I'm okay.." She said and took the ice from Amanda,her hand already started to puff up. She grabbed her purse and left the precinct. She stopped at the small coffee shop across the street from the precinct where Nick's mum told her to go. She was already there with young Zara sitting next to her.

"Olivia" the little girl shouted and waved at her. Olivia approached them and sat on the empty chair. The waitress appeared immediately and Olivia ordered an ice-tea. Little Zara stood up from her chair and went over and sat on Olivia's lap. Olivia placed a kiss n the top of her head.

"Miss Amaro, it's nice to meet you" she said and gave her her hurt hand. She let out a small moan as Nick's mum touched it.

"Nice to meet you too Olivia. Is your hand alright?" Olivia gave her a smile, trying to seem polite and not broken.

"Yeah it's okay, I just hand a little accident." She said. Non of them spoke for a while till Nick's mum did so.

"Listen Olivia, I know my son hurt you, and I know you're probably mad at him. I'm not gonna try to justify his actions. I just want to make sure Zara's fine till her mother comes back okay."

Olivia took a deep breath before speaking. "Miss Amaro, I have no intense on stealing your granddaughter from you. But I'm more than willing to take her home with me and her little sister if you agree with that. And, to make that clear.. I don't hate Nick.. I just want him to come back.. " The older woman so the pain n Olivia's eyes. She saw what a brave and strong woman she was, but she also saw the love she had for Nick.

"I know that dear. And I know, I can feel it as a mother, Zara's gonna be just great with you. I just wanted to make sure you'll let me visit her and maybe, let me meet my other grandchild too."

Olivia smiled and took her hand n hers. "You don't even need to ask. You can come over and see both your granddaughters every single minute of the day now, and after Nick comes back and forever." The two women shared smiles. They sat there and talked,laughed, but not once mentioned Nick again.

After her meeting with Nick's mum Olivia didn't return back n the precinct, not because she was told to do so but because Zara had asked her so kindly to spend sometime together with her and Amja. She entered her apartment where Vanessa, her young babysitter,was sitting on the couch watching some TV.

"Hello there" She said as she closed the door behind her and dropped the small suitcase she was holding n the floor. It was nothing more than a suitcase with some of Zara's toys and clothes. Vanessa jumped from the couch and ran toward her and took the suitcase..

"I was just..I just sat, cause Amja fell asleep I promise I took good care of her" The young girl who was not older than 18 years old said to Olivia, afraid that she'll thing wrong about her. Olivia chuckled and stroked her back.

"It's okay dear, I believe you. Calm down. I'm sure you did a great job! Now if you can please, before you leave, make a toast for little Zara over here, I'll go and tidy the things in this suitcase" She said and gently took the suitcase back. Vanessa and Zara both smiled at each other, as Vanessa took her hand and went into the kitchen to do as she was told.

Olivia -who was nursing Amja- and Zara were now n the living room watching some cartoon movie Zara had chosen. Non of them paid too much attention to it though. Zara was continuously looking at her baby sister, kissing and caressing her small fist, and Olivia was looking through the files from Annabelle's previous rape case, Amanda had brought that files to her after her shift was over. She didn't understand how the time passed but when she dropped the files on the table it was already sleep time for the girls. She gently stood up and went into Amja's room and placed her n the crib,covering her with her pink blanket.

"Goodnight lovey, mommy and daddy loves you" she whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Livvie do you have any cocoa? I can't drink my milk without it" Zara said as soon as Olivia returned back n the kitchen. It wasn't what she asked, but the way she asked it that Olivia felt like she had to get it for her.

"No I don't honey but you know what? The market is right next to our building, I'll tell miss Brown to come and keep an eye on you for two seconds and I'll go grab some okay?" She said not wanting to just say a simple no to the sweet little girl in front of her. Miss Brown was the elder neighbor of Olivia's. Olivia gave her a call before leaving, and she kindly accepted the offer, as she loved children and didn't have any of her own. Olivia had always feared that she'd end up like Miss Brown, but then Nick came into her life and took this thought away from her mind.

Before leaving Olivia had a call from George, asking if they found something on his sister's rape. Olivia gently explained him the situation, reassured him that she's absolutely investigating this case till the end, but she also told him that he had to wait for her to call him if anything new came up, and that she wasn't allowed to discuss anything from this case with a civilian. She had already taken that case personally and she knew Cragen would take her out of that case if she'd become too attached. After talking with George she finally left the apartment. She took her time to choose the best cocoa for her young -step-daughter-like girl. She paid for it and let the assistant keep the change, as she only wanted to go back to her apartment be with her girls, and take some sleep.

As soon as she reached the door of her building she felt someone pressing her body hard against the fiberglass door. He had his elbow hard pressed against the back of her neck and his knee n her back. She soon felt his hand moving and found the opportunity to punch him, and she did so. He was wearing a mask so she didn't get the chance to see his face, and he soon had her again immobilized, her face toward his though,with a knife blade against the skin of her throat...