Blind
14
Iruka lay on his back in bed, gazing into the void. He had no way of knowing that his bedroom was almost as dark as his own internal world. He had no need for lights, and it had been hours since he'd left Kakashi in the kitchen, stumbling his way back to his own room. He was dead tired, and his chakara had still not returned to him at all. Every time he tried to reach out, a sharp pain shot through his head, making him dizzy and his arms and legs feel watery. Still, he could stand and function without discomfort as long as he didn't try anything.
The trip to Ichiraku had been exciting, if nothing else. Team 7 Plus Iruka, as Kakashi's crew was now loosely dubbed throughout Konoha, had caused quite a stir with all of them bustling into the little shop soaked in mud, blood and hazy gazes. They had worn themselves out quite completely. Naruto and Sasuke had been sparring for hours were and still bleeding-Naruto more severely than the Uchiha- but smiling nonetheless. Sakura had been exhausted just from trying to keep up with the pair long enough to keep them from actually killing each other. Iruka himself had been threadbare from chakara exhaustion and the scare of nearly falling to his death-- only to be rescued by the ever vigilant Kakashi, he reminded himself grudgingly.
The owner had actually asked if they'd been attacked, and suggested a visit to the Hokage. Kakashi had laughed good naturedly and told him they had been so excited about the bad weather that they'd been compelled to go roll in the mud all afternoon.
Iruka snorted softly to himself in the darkness. Our high crowned smart ass…
Eating in his state of utter exhaustion had been exceptionally difficult, but no one had said a thing. In fact the whole shop had gone quiet as Kakashi silently offered help. Iruka hadn't put up a fight, too tired of that weird tension that had been constantly crackling between them. The Jounin's only comment to the situation in the ramen bar had been to lament that he hadn't thought of Iruka having difficulty eating without his Second Sight.
"We can go home, if you like…" Kakashi had offered. "The kids can take care of themselves." Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto had not argued.
"I'm fine. This is fine." Why Iruka hadn't taken the offer of privacy, he didn't know. He'd spent the next ten minutes burning with humility, but Kakashi had been, as always, incredibly careful.
Iruka sighed, rubbing his face. It had to be getting pretty late. Dinner had been late, and afterwards, Kakashi had spent a good hour carefully massaging several chakara meridians all over Iruka's body in an attempt to get the flow back up to normal, as it seemed everything was currently blocked. He had considered consulting a Hyuuga for help, but the two nin had decided that neither wanted to resort to that yet.
Kakashi's ministrations had been stressful for Iruka. He couldn't help but think that this was just what the other man wanted-a chance to get his hands on him. The massage should have been relaxing, if not successful. Iruka shivered. His arms and shoulders still tingled in a weird way he wasn't sure he liked. Each touch had been so careful, so chaste but Iruka couldn't help but feel slightly molested, in a way. He bit his lip, feeling oddly guilty. He hadn't argued, hadn't let on to anything, but he knew that Kakashi had been aware of his discomfort. There was no hiding the tension that had built up in his back and shoulders, winding up like an iron spring every time pale fingers touched him. If Kakashi had, in fact, had ulterior motives, he had not let on at all. Iruka rubbed at his sightless eyes tiredly.
"God…I'm going paranoid…"
"They say that's normal among shinobi…" Tomodachi added helpfully from the corner in a gentle undertone. "What is bothering you, Iruka Sensei?" Iruka listened as the canine stood, animal paws padding almost soundlessly across Iruka's carpeted floor. Iruka's sharp ears tracked the nin dog with some effort. As it approached, he held his hand out to Tomodachi, smiling into the shadows as his palm was nuzzled gently.
"More of the same, that's all." Iruka said softly. "Just thinking."
"It is awful late at night for thought, Sensei." Tomodachi said.
"What time is it?" Iruka asked. Tomodachi snorted in a way that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.
"I'm afraid I can't read your numbers…perhaps some day you may be able to teach me. Kakashi-san tried once, but he isn't good with such simple things. They baffle him to no end." Iruka laughed, throwing his head back against the pillow with a soft sound.
"Leave it to Kakashi. I know he could dissect a complex battle plan and redesign it six times over and not miss a beat, but he can't teach someone to read numbers, huh?"
"Precisely. It's the social aspect, I believe. He had a great deal of trouble with his genin, at first, you know."
"Oh, I know. I was part of the trouble, I think." Iruka said, the irony suddenly dawning on him.
"Perhaps…" Tomodachi said cryptically. "In any case, he's learned to manage them, at any rate."
"Yes…they're growing up so fast…" Iruka said, voice hazing over as he threw himself into nostalgia.
"But that is not what is bothering you, friend." Tomodachi said, pulling Iruka back. "You should be asleep by now."
"I wouldn't say 'bothering'…just thinking too hard to sleep."
"Anything that interrupts sleep is bothering, Sensei." Tomodachi said. Iruka smirked. There was nothing that Kakashi's nin dogs loved more than a good nap, he'd learned. Tomodachi especially.
"Just wishing things were simpler, then." Iruka admitted.
"Between yourself and my Master." Tomodachi said knowingly. Iruka bit his lip, holding his arms out to the dog. Tomodachi crept foreword obediently, curling up in the bed beside Iruka, letting the Chuunin hug him.
"I don't know what to do…" Iruka admitted.
"There isn't anything you can do." Tomodachi said. "This isn't the type of situation you do something about. What may happen will."
"When did you get so smart about human things?" Iruka asked in amusement. Somehow, the dog's words, however strange to his ears, were comforting.
"Listening to my master worry for two decades." Tomodachi said wryly.
"Not just about m-"
"About everything." Tomodachi said. "I remember a few years ago him fretting for four hours about what to wear to a birthday party. He was worried that it wouldn't be appropriate to go in his uniform, but he didn't really feel comfortable in anything else, apparently." Tomodachi said. He wanted for some time to talk about his Master to Iruka this way. There were many facets to Kakashi that took years to see. Very lovable facets, in fact. Unfortunately, neither man had years to spare for Iruka to sit and examine Kakashi, and determine if his love was worth accepting.
"What happened?" Iruka asked, baffled into amusement. Tomodachi snorted softly.
"He ended up going in his uniform. Nobody said anything about it at all. Of course, who would. The party was for him."
"You're kidding!"
"He was two hours late."
"Not surprising."
"Not because of the wardrobe 'disaster', either. It took that long just for him to get the nerve to show up."
"Why not!" Iruka demanded, voice rising slightly. Of all the idiotic…
Tomodachi nuzzled Iruka's face, calming the man.
"He was afraid he wouldn't have fun, therefore insulting the hosts." Iruka slapped his face in exasperation. "Then there was the time…not too long after I met him and Kakashi became my new master, he worried for four days about what to get one of his teammates when she was promoted to Chuunin." Iruka fell still, listening. "She was very special to him, a precious friend and he was incredibly proud of her…they were only about thirteen at the time, he already a Jounin… She was like a sister to him. Kakashi knew she fancied him, and worried about it all the time because as you now well know, he could never be interested that way….Nobody knew at that point. I remember he went about to several other sensei in the village asking if it would be taken romantic if he bought her flowers and a necklace as a congratulatory gift. It didn't help that he got mixed responses. Some people thought he was trying to be romantic, I think, and told him what a sweet boyfriend he was and the like… He nearly went crazy about it." Iruka grimaced, understanding the pain of confusion. "Eventually, he took her aside and presented his gifts in private, and explained the situation." Tomodachi said around a yawn. "They were such inseparable friends after that -she was such an understanding girl - that people actually thought they had gotten together as a couple." Tomodachi laughed. "It drove Kakashi mad with frustration, but she always kept him level and taught him a lot about dealing with people…and life, and death… She passed away about a year after her promotion." Iruka fell silent. "My point is, try to understand that Kakashi has no clue what he's doing. He's as blind as you are, if not more so."
"I….I think I understand that…" Iruka said. "It doesn't mean, though, that I--"
"No, I know that, I wouldn't dare pressure you in that way. It isn't right. I'm merely giving you a side of Kakashi you may not have known about, to help you make your decision."
"Well, thank you." Iruka said, yawning as well. He let out a sigh. "Okay…I think I'm going to go to sleep now…" He rolled over onto his side with another tired sigh. "Thanks, Tomodachi…"
"You're very welcome, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi leapt nimbly to his feet, trotting toward the slightly ajar door.
"Wher're you goin'?" Iruka mumbled sleepily.
"To check on my Master. Good night, Iruka-Sensei." Iruka mumbled a last few sleepy sounds and fell asleep soundly.
"Hm...You're still awake as well, are you?" Tomodachi asked as he went into the front room where Kakashi lay sprawled over Iruka's couch.
"Is he okay?" Kakashi asked by means of response.
"Tired, perhaps." Tomodachi said thoughtfully. "He has a lot on his mind." Kakashi gave a soft sigh.
"So, what do you think…?" Kakashi asked vaguely. He hadn't turned his eyes from the ceiling, lit a dull yellow by the single lamp he left on.
"Excuse me?"
"About…well…my chances…?" Kakashi asked softly. Tomodachi sighed heavily, flopping onto the couch at Kakashi's feet.
"I'm not one to judge human emotions." He said simply.
"That bad, huh?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"What would you say, 'Dachi?" Kakashi asked sadly.
"I told you already." A pause. "He's sleeping now. You should, too."
"…" Kakashi made a low, frustrated sound.
"Go to sleep, Kakashi." Tomodachi said firmly, stretching out between Kakashi's legs, his chin resting on one thigh. "It's late."
"I thought you didn't know about human things." Kakashi said.
"I'm tired, and you're keeping me awake." Tomodachi said sleepily.
"Go sleep with Iruka then."
"I wanted to stay with you. You are my Master, after all. And your unrest troubles me." In response, Kakashi shut off the lamp over his head, washing the room in a silver-blue darkness. He could see the high, slivered moon out Iruka's living room window. It was dim and the stars around it sparkled in brilliantly contrast.
"Okay…"
Kakashi's eyes snapped back open, fixed again on the moon outside. It had risen so that it was almost out of sight, out of the range of the window. Kakashi frowned, eyes darting in the darkness, ears straining.
Something had woken him up.
What was it?
The blood was singing in his veins. Something had startled him awake. He was alert, and his muscles were coiled, ready to leap into action.
"Tomodachi…" He whispered.
"It's Iruka-Sensei. He's having a nightmare." Tomodachi supplied just as Iruka's resounding scream echoed itself through the quiet house, startling Kakashi badly.
"KAKASHI!" Iruka's cry was shrill and panicked, and Kakashi leapt to his feet, skidding violently around a corner and striking the wall, running towards Iruka before he realized he'd even stood up.
To Kakashi's surprise, Iruka was still asleep, thrashing wildly in his sleep, clutching at a pillow like it was a life preserver, whimpering and crying. Kakashi had a brief moment to realize that he thought Iruka would be awake if he was screaming his name. Like he needs me…
"IRUKA!" Kakashi crashed to the floor beside Iruka's futon with a thud on his knees, hands on the crying mans' shoulders, shaking him as gently as he could. Iruka gasped, eyes staring into the darkness blindly, and again cried out Kakashi's name. "I'm here! I'm here Iruka! Wake up…Stop it!" Iruka was clawing about desperately, trying to move and untangle himself from the mass of sheets. "You're safe! Wake up!" Kakashi lamented that he'd been doing this sort of thing a lot lately. Iruka finally gasped fully awake, sitting up straight.
"Ka…Kakashi…?" Iruka breathed.
"I'm here…what happened?"
"N…nightmare…" Iruka's hands were wrapped around both of Kakashi's wrists as he held Iruka's shoulders.
"Yeah…I could tell…. You were screaming for me…what happened?" Kakashi asked. Iruka hiccupped, and Kakashi could see, even in the extreme darkness of Iruka's bedroom, that he was crying. "Iruka…?"
"The other day…" Iruka said, turning his face downwards, hiding it in a veil of velvet hair. "When you took that kunai…"
"Yeah?" Kakashi prodded gently. Iruka shuddered under his palms, and Kakashi dared to pull him closer. Iruka did not fight him, leaning foreword with his forehead resting against one of Kakashi's shoulders.
"I dreamt…" he shuddered. "Gaah…it was horrible. The kunai didn't hit your back, it went straight through your neck like you said it would have with me….Tore straight through and hit me, though I didn't even feel it. You just stood there, blood every…you were very nearly decapitated, but not quite, and there were bits of blood and skin, even bits of the fabric of your mask…the kids were there and screaming bloody murder and you were still standing there, holding onto me and just staring…I guess you were already dead…there was blood dripping all off your arms and getting in my shoes and running down my arms and getting on my face and everywhere…." He let out a shuddering gasp, shaking. "And it was like I was never blind, I saw everything in brilliant full color…so much red….and black, I guess…but…oh god…" He trailed off, shuddering.
"Hey…" Kakashi was stunned. "Hey…it was just a dream…everybody's okay…really…" He tried to push Iruka away from him so he could see the other's face, but Iruka wouldn't budge.
"It was terrible…" Iruka whispered. One hand was bunching into the sleeve of Kakashi's shirt, and he could feel Iruka shaking badly.
"C'mere…" Kakashi whispered, pulling Iruka up against his chest carefully. Iruka didn't fight back. "Listen…hear that?" He asked, carefully pulling Iruka's hair out of his face, tucking a few strands behind the man's ear.
"Your heartbeat…."
"See? I'm alive. No blood. No danger. It's true at the time I was more concerned about your well being than mine, but I wouldn't let something happen to me. Don't worry…" Iruka nodded into his chest.
"It's just…I was really beginning to miss color… was….god…too much red…our lives are filled with too much red…"
"I know what you mean…But for now, we're safe. You're safe. And I'm safe as long as it's my mission to watch over you, and the kids are safe…they're all that really matter, right? There's no danger to us here within the village… I know your world must seem so bleak right now…I'm sorry, Iruka…"
"…" Iruka didn't move, just shifted slightly in Kakashi's arms, still shaking. Kakashi reached down and wiped a few tears off of Iruka's cheek.
"I guess I'm not the only one who cries in his sleep, hmm?" He teased gently. Iruka hiccupped softly. "Shh…" Kakashi sighed, rubbing Iruka's back gently with one hand, the other wrapped around his shoulders protectively. He realized that Iruka could, at any minute, decide he no longer needed the comfort and push him away, but Kakashi was grateful for small blessings, and soaked up the warmth of the toned but soft body against his. He closed his eyes, chest tight. He would stay only as long as Iruka needed him, he swore this to himself. Don't you dare screw up… Iruka's breathing had evened out and he had stopped shaking. He wasn't asleep, Kakashi knew, but he was claming down. Kakashi rocked gently, breathing deep and evenly, hand working steady circles on Iruka's back. If he could give Iruka nothing else, it was tenderness and love. Leaning town to further encompass his companion, Kakashi closed his eyes again, kissing the top of Iruka's head gently.
Iruka went rigid, his breathing going silent. Kakashi's eyes snapped open as he realized a second too late what he had done. Iruka was shaking again.
"I'm sorry." Kakashi said, hearing how hollow his voice sounded even to himself. Iruka remained silent, and stiff, for a very long time.
"Why?" He finally croaked. He didn't move from Kakashi's embrace, but he wasn't returning it, either.
"I…" Kakashi began, trailing off weakly. "…It was impulse…I didn't mean to…I'm…I'm sorry. I know I promised I wouldn't do anything…" Iruka wiggled out of his grip, white eyes darting in the dark blindly. He reached out, wanting to see Kakashi's face.
"Gah…" Iruka cringed, hissing in pain and pressing a hand to his head.
"Oh don't…" Kakashi breathed, reaching out to touch Iruka but then pulling back. "Don't push it, you'll kill yourself…" He said sadly. He sighed heavily. "Damn it. I'm sorry, Iruka. Look. You're okay now, aren't you? I'll leave you alone…" He sat up reluctantly, feeling cold as death without Iruka's presence…
"Don't…" Iruka's voice was soft, barely audible. Kakashi froze, just preparing to stand. He stared back through the darkness at Iruka. "You're running…"
"I figured you'd want me to…after that stunt…" Kakashi admitted. "I know it's my own mistake…"
"It's so…lonely…nothing but black, you know…" Iruka whispered.
Kakashi fell silent, thinking.
Iruka's words…were an invitation.
But did he dare accept?
Kakashi knew how his mind worked, sometimes, and he feared he'd find some loophole in his own promise. He couldn't hurt Iruka.
He wouldn't.
But Iruka had just asked him to stay.
Kakashi couldn't deny his love's request.
"You sure…? I could get Tomo-"
"Goddamnit, Kakashi….You wouldn't leave me the hell alone three days ago." Iruka muttered, sitting foreword and reaching out into the darkness, hands searching. Eventually he found Kakashi's shirt and both fists quickly knotted into the soft fabric, seeking contact. "There's nothing here…nothing…it's blacker than anything you can imagine. Just covering or closing your eyes isn't half of it…It's not even black. I'm beginning to forget color, you know… I don't know what it is…because it isn't. Nothing. I try to pull up images in my head…like my parents…try to remember exactly what they looked like because I won't even ever see their picture… I imagine Naruto a lot…he's so full of color… but the images are fading. Like his eyes. I remember his eyes were the most brilliant blue I'd ever seen in anything, like the sky, but now…what does the sky look like? It's dead to me. The only color I know is the color of chakara…and I'm not even sure with that…I think it's blue…generally…but maybe it's not. Maybe it's yellow and I'm just confused…"
"Shh…" Kakashi gave up on his own internal battles, deciding that Iruka's needs were far more important. He crawled across Iruka's bed to sit upright beside his ward, carefully wrapping an arm around one slim shoulder. "Don't worry so much about it…go to sleep…I'll stay if you want me to, but go to sleep…" Kakashi whispered. He sank back, pulling Iruka down under the covers with him, rolling onto one side to encircle Iruka carefully with both arms, the brunette's back against his chest. Iruka shivered, cringing when Kakashi moved too close, and the Jounin scooted back some, though he did not remove his arms from around Iruka's waist and shoulder. Iruka was silent, not moving, barely breathing, and Kakashi bumped his shoulder with his forehead. "Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah…"
"I can go…"
"You're fine." Iruka said softly. Kakashi bit his lip.
I'm fine…? Is this…? Somewhere in the recesses of Kakashi's mind, the notion dawned on him that Iruka didn't really need his company at all. Is this for me…? A gift. "Iruka…?"
"Go to sleep."
Kakashi didn't go to sleep, but he let it go, lying quietly and listening as Iruka's breathing evened out, slowed down, and finally deepened into heavy sleep. Kakashi continued to lay with Iruka, awake, watching the other man sleep. Carefully, so as to not wake Iruka, he pulled the other up flush against his body, letting out a long sigh. Iruka shifted in his sleep, rolling from his side onto his back, pressing in further against Kakashi in the process. Kakashi sank back, feeling himself start to tremble slightly, and turned his head so he could watch Iruka's passive face in the darkness. He sighed in his sleep, face turning towards Kakashi, and the Jounin's breath caught.
So beautiful… As he reached out, Kakashi realized his hand shook, but it didn't stop him as he lifted a hand to Iruka's face, touch feathering over warm skin. Kakashi's fingers were so light, brushing over shadowy skin, that even his own bated breath caused a greater disturbance, and Iruka went on sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the stolen touches. Gathering courage, Kakashi flattened his palm softly over Iruka's warm cheek, smiling in the dark to himself at the softness and warmth and life found even in the faintest touch. "You're beautiful." He whispered to the sleeping man beside him, rising up on his elbows and leaning down to carefully kiss Iruka's forehead. Iruka shifted in his sleep, but continued on dreaming--Kakashi could see his eyes shift under their lids, as if not a day had gone for Iruka without sight. He was overjoyed to notice that it didn't seem like Iruka was having any more nightmares.
This late at night, Kakashi easily deluded himself into thinking it was because of his own protective presence that Iruka slept soundly, though he knew there had been plenty of times Iruka had slept just fine without nightmares, totally on his own. Kakashi trailed soft kisses down Iruka's face, but paused before reaching the slightly parted, welcoming lips. Kakashi's breath was slightly ragged from the rush. He knew he was taking something that was not his to take, but he was desperate…so, unfathomably desperate… Taking a deep breath, and double checking that Iruka was indeed still sound asleep, Kakashi lowered his face to Iruka's, could feel his own lips tremble as they connected with Iruka's.
Iruka's lips were softer than his own, and searing hot from sleep. Iruka shifted slightly, sighing, and Kakashi felt himself flush as he imagined that Iruka was actually responding to him, wanting his touches and his kisses.
Kakashi pulled his body up further over Iruka's, pressing down every so slightly, still deathly careful, and kissed the sleeping man again, mind going numb at the mere thought of kissing Iruka, let alone the act itself. Kakashi's whole body shook, a taste of Iruka's skin coming up from parted lips and the blood was hammering so loudly in Kakashi's ears that he did not hear Iruka's breathing change. He pressed his lips to Iruka's yet again, more firmly, letting his weight settle more over the slightly smaller figure below, and his skin burned and his head swam and he did not notice as Iruka suddenly went rigid.
Iruka's sleep fog mind cleared terribly fast at the sensation of lips moving against his own, hot and possessive. He could feel the body pressing down on his, hear the ragged breathing just above him, and Iruka's mind spun in panic. What the hell! Gears spun useless for a few split millionths of a second before everything clicked, and Iruka's smooth brow furrowed into deep lines. Kakashi.
Gasping, he snapped his face away from the other man, hands coming up to grip Kakashi's shoulders. He noticed vaguely that the other man was shaking, and he wondered just how long the Jounin had been secretly stealing from his body while Iruka slept.
"Stop it!" Iruka hissed, trying to push Kakashi away. Kakashi gasped, murmuring his name in a low, lusty tone. Iruka twisted, shoving at Kakashi again as the Jounin settled his weight further over his body, pressing yet another kiss down over his lips. Iruka gasped, feeling panic setting in as Kakashi's kisses trailed away from his lips down the side of his throat, making Iruka's skin burn and tingle. He thrashed weakly, terrified. He had no idea what Kakashi was plotting, where he would strike next, or to what end this moment would come to.
He didn't care, either.
"Stop!"
"Iruka…Please…" Kakashi's breathy voice was hazy, dream like.
"No. Knock it off, Kakashi!" Iruka pushed at Kakashi again, but drugged on desire, Kakashi was slow to catch the tone of Iruka's voice.
"Please…" The desperation in Kakashi's voice caused a small tremor in Iruka's heart, but anger and mortification overruled Iruka's emotions.
"NO!" Iruka twisted, freeing an arm from under Kakashi's body, and struck out of his own tar-like world into Kakashi's. On a lucky strike, Iruka's open-palmed blow landed cleanly across Kakashi's cheek, connecting with a resounding crack. Kakashi froze, gasping raggedly, and Iruka's hand was throbbing so hard his fingers tingled numbly. There was a moment of total silence, there in Iruka's bedroom, then suddenly, Kakashi lunged back with a strained noise.
"Oh god…"
"What the flying fuck did you think you were doing!" Iruka demanded loudly, shock abating only to give way to utter fury.
"Iruka…God…I'm so sor--" Kakashi's voice was wet with raw panic, but this only irritated Iruka more.
"Get out."
"I'm sorry, Iruka I didn't-" Kakashi tried again. Iruka hissed, drawing a deep breath.
"DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE NOW! GET OUT!" Iruka screamed it this time, right in Kakashi's face.
Kakashi didn't move. He couldn't. Heaven only knew he wanted to. He was terrified, aghast at himself, but he was utterly petrified. When he didn't move, Iruka let out a frustrated growl. Shoving him aside, Iruka stood staggering awkwardly as his feet tangled first in the sheets, then with Kakashi's. He stumbled across the room, crashing roughly against the wall and scrambling until he found the door. He fumbled with the latch for a moment before throwing the bedroom door open and hurrying out, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole apartment. Over the bed, a cabinet shook hard enough that something toppled off of it, crashing over Kakashi's head. Nerves hardened after years of brutal combat allowed Kakashi the reflexes to catch the item before it hit him and broke. Soft golden pink light filtered in through Iruka's bedroom window as the sun began to rise and Kakashi stared down at a framed picture of an extremely young Iruka and his parents, and swore.
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AN: Sorry. I wasn't done with the drama yet. And really, I know you all had your hopes up there right in the middle, but did you all honestly think I was going to make things that EASY for poor, dear Kakashi? (smirks) But seriously, this was an important event.
Yes, Kakashi just seriously fucked up.
But on the bright side, he's now given something for dear Ruka-kun to think about.
Believe it or not, there IS a method to my madness. Good things come to those who wait.
Meanwhile, super sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I seriously meant to post it like three or four days ago, but in preparing for the holidays, I partied too much and have spent the last three days utterly BRAINDEAD. hehe. Almost pulled an all-nighter chatting with a friend friday night...hehe. So I don't really have a good excuse, but here it all is anyway. )
Oh, and back to the topic of Kakashi fucking up, as it were. I'm sure that all seemed more than a little bit weird. Yes, he completely shorted out on us. I blame three things here: 1. He's probably dead exhausted from the day to begin with, 2. not only is he sleep deprived and tired to begin with but he just pulled an all nighter without realizing it, and that does some really terrible thing to a person's brain. Let it also be known that the brain and it's reasoning ablities are at it's lowest between about 2 and 4 AM-Kaka-kun's golden hour. 3. Desperation. At this point Kakashi figures he's screwed anyway, though he didn't exactly think at all on any of this, it was sort of his subconscious last hurrah as it were.
But don't worry.
Really.
R&R and don't kill me.
MRE