The next couple of chapters are a bit sillier. We need a hope spot, and it's not really possible to make the island sequence totally serious.

"Shut up about the stupid plane!" America shouted. "Anyone could have made that mistake!"

"Yes, but you're the one who crashed it and dropped us here!" England ranted at him.

"Shut up, I've almost got the radio working!" China snapped, yanking a wire and swearing when it snapped and cut his hand. "Or not. No, no, I can do this, really ..."

America sighed. "Well, at least poor Canada's not stuck here with us."

"I'm right here, asshole!" Canada yelled from three feet behind him, causing America to nearly jump out of his skin. France shook his head and tutted.

"Guys, guys!" Russia ran up the hill towards the other Allies, waving frantically. His scarf streamed out behind him; even in this heat he refused to take it off. "Come and look!"

Everyone dropped what they were doing and followed him to the cliffside. He pointed down, and everyone looked to see three figures on the beach ...

England blinked. "That's never the Axis, is it?"

America produced his binoculars and peered through them. "Looks like them."

"Huh. What are the odds?" China smirked. Well, it was time for my luck to turn. Let's see if I can drag Japan off somewhere private. I'll make him remember what happened if I have to.

Darkness fell, and the Axis huddled beside the fire. Despite the latitude, the sea breeze was cold at night. Italy slept, releasing the occasional "veee" sound. Germany and Japan idly watched the fire, not really expecting an attack.

China was impressed. He was sure the Allies had made no noise - even oblivious America and big clumsy Russia - and yet Germany and Japan must have sensed their approach, as they looked up at the cliffside and saw their enemies emerging from the dark woods. The Axis readied their weapons, or in Italy's case his white flag. Good, they'd put up a fair fight. China was pleased. He'd taught Japan well.

"Hahahaha! Listen to me and my total hero voice, guys!" America's obnoxious voice echoed across the shore. "China! I choose you!"

As he jumped, China realised that, instead of a gun or sword, he was still holding the wok and ladle. In his hurry to follow the others to battle, he'd forgotten to put them down. Shit! No, no, I can work with this. It's a big heavy piece of metal, it could be worse ... He inwardly congratulated himself as he knocked the pistol from Germany's hand. See? Heh, I'm strong again. Now I don't even need a real weapon! Maybe I should fight with this thing more often!

With a CLANG! Germany was down, and China was ducking under Japan's sword.

"Not so weak now, am I, bitch?" he snarled, half his mind back in Nanking, and Japan's face twisted in confusion before the wok struck it and laid him out flat. China blinked, coming back to the present, and felt a brief pang of guilt. Ah well, I'll "talk" to him later ... He turned to see his last target; Italy waved his white flag and started babbling pleas for mercy. China scowled. He had no patience for cowardice, but at least Italy was an honest coward. Not the kind he'd seen among mortals in the war ... no, no, now wasn't the time to be bitter, he still had a capture to finish. An easy one, though.

He paid no heed to the sound of rushing water until he caught a glimpse of the expressions of shock on the faces of both his companions and his enemies. Slowly, carefully, he turned around.

What the fuck? Is that ... Rome?

"No way was that a ghost!" America insisted, huddling inside his jacket and glancing around nervously. He scowled down at the already-sleeping Russia, then looked back at the others. "Are you guys even sure that was Rome?"

"Certainly looked like him," England said. "I was only little when he was around, but I'm sure it was him. China? You were an adult when you last saw him, can we assume you have clearer memories?"

"Definitely him," China said, nodding. It had been quite a shock to see Rome again. My old friend. Another one against me. Did I do something to deserve this?

"Why do you think he showed up?" England asked.

"Perhaps the smell of your cooking finally reached the Pearly Gates and is ruining the atmosphere," France said, smirking. England roared angrily and sprang at him, their scuffle nearly ending up in the fire. America laughed, finally ceasing to tremble with fear.

As the others fought, China suddenly became aware of an eerie presence at his side. Hand on his knife, he turned around to see a nervous-looking blond. Something about him was terribly familiar ... Oh. Oh yeah. Him. Well, better late than never ...

"Uh, what's your name again?"

The blond sighed. "Canada. It's okay, everyone forgets."

"Well, uh, I remember ... that thing I said to you once, back at HQ. You know? And I'd like to apologise. I was having a bad time, but I shouldn't have tried to take it out on you. That was cruel of me. And, uh, the offer's cancelled. You were right, it's a bad idea."

"Uh, no biggie," Canada giggled nervously, shuffling away. "Consider it forgotten."

France finally freed himself of England's grip and straightened his jacket. "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing!" China assured him. "Nothing bad. Promise."

"Go to sleep!" Russia mumbled, raising his pipe too sleepily to be threatening. He rolled over and started snoring and sucking the end of the pipe like a pacifier.

"Ah, doesn't he just look like a little giant psychotic angel?" England whispered, snickering. China muffled his own laughter with his sleeve.

"Maybe we should all go to sleep," America said, shuffling closer to Canada. "We'll track 'em down again tomorrow night. And this time we won't run away!"

"Sheesh, China, I thought you and Rome were friends - why does he hate us?" America asked the next night, huddling under his jacket again.

"I don't think he hates us," China said, shrugging. "If anything, I think he's protecting his grandson." He looked wistfully into the fire. "Family is important."

"More to the point, why do we keep running away? It's only a ghost!" England protested.

"Only a ghost?" America squeaked.

"England has a point," Russia said. "Synchronised panicking only counts as a battle plan if you're French."

"Hey!" France and Canada protested in unison. France scowled at Canada and said "Why are you complaining? You're only half French."

"All of you shut up, I'm trying to have a sentimental moment!" China snapped, swatting America and France over the head.

Mentally, he giggled. Maybe the other Allies were okay. It was nice to have company. Finally, he felt normal again.