Chapter 13

APOV

Leaving Christian on the couch I climb the stairs feeling his eyes following me up until I reach the bedroom. My daughter is spread eagled across the mattress so I push her legs over giving myself enough room to sleep. Turning off the bedside lamp I lay down however my brain doesn't shut off and is replaying our interaction on the couch, I can't say I'm not disappointed he stopped me, but we both need to be ready to take this next step. I felt safe in his arms, relaxed, without a single worry. I was content to continue sitting there. I haven't felt that way for so long, in the past being held by him always made it seem like everything was right in the world and tonight was no different. I've had to continue being strong for the two of us, whether I had it in me or not, but for once I completely let my guard down and it was okay, it wasn't the end of the world.

When I wake up it's still early, the sun barely risen, I roll over to face Charlotte expecting to see her sleeping except she's not next to me. I sit up looking around assuming she may be in the bathroom but the light is off. I get up and step out of the room, she's probably watching cartoons. I get downstairs where not a single sound can be heard. I check the TV room but that too is empty. Where could she be? There are so many places in this enormous apartment she could get to. I rush to Christian's room to wake him in order to ask him to check the security monitors for her only as I push open his door I find her fast asleep in his bed beside him. How and why is she in here? My heart slows down upon seeing her in here. I take a moment allowing my eyes to roam his naked torso, the covers stopping at his waist. This man always sleeps shirtless, no matter the weather outside. They both look so peaceful I tiptoe out letting them sleep.

An hour later Christian finds me in the kitchen nursing my cup of tea. My greets me good morning with a kiss to the temple then heads for the coffee machine.

"Imagine my surprise at finding a cute brunette in my bed." He teases.

"Yeah, I had no idea she got up and came down to you. I got a fright when I couldn't find her."

"It's fine and I promise you she can't leave the apartment, the elevator is locked at night. Anyway I had an idea yesterday to paint and have a bedroom decorated for Charlotte, give her a space that's all hers and have it all ready for the next time you're here."

It makes sense, we're sure to spend time here in the future. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't already.

Once our dear daughter got up and Christian told her his idea she squealed with excitement and so after breakfast the two of them along with Taylor have made their way to the paint store for her to choose the colour of her walls. Christian is calling it a daddy/daughter project and they will order furniture together online after they're done painting. Good luck to him, I know how difficult our daughter can be when she can't make up her mind. They could be there for hours arguing over colours.

While they're gone I take the opportunity to call my parents. I sit on my bed and dial my mother's number.

"Hey, Mum."

"Hi darling, how's Seattle? How's Charlie liking it?"

"It's great, Charlotte loves it, you should see the way Christian decorated his apartment, she's in Christmas heaven."

"HA! I bet. How are you doing? Is everything okay, Ana?"

"No. I mean, nothing's wrong, but Christian told me something and I've been running it over and over in my head and I guess I just need to talk about it."

"Okay…. You have me concerned now. What did he tell you?"

I swallow the lump in my throat before I start talking.

"Mum, he had an accident, a really bad one, he came close to not being here today."

"What, when, is he okay?"

"He's fine now, it was almost 3 years ago. He was hit by a car while in London."

I sit there for the next fifteen minutes telling her all that Christian told me about his accident and injury as well as my fears and thoughts.

"I've been so caught up in my anger towards him for so long I never considered how he was doing, I assumed he just moved on with his life but he didn't, he tried to come to us sooner. I've finally let all the anger and hate go. When I think about that night now all I feel is sadness for the time lost. Charlotte came close to never meeting her father, I almost lost him again."

Tears are running freely down my cheeks.

"He tried to call Ray, did you know about that?"

"No sweetheart, I promise you I had no idea, Ray never said anything to me. Don't be too harsh on him, he was only protecting you, you and Charlotte are the only family he has."

"I know but it still hurts that he never bothered to tell me."

"Christian never forgot about you. Is that what you need, Ana, to know you are still his first priority after so long."

"That's not it. We're moving on, we're both in this, we both want the same thing which is to be a family."

"How do you really feel?"

"I'm sad, sad that he went through that alone and so damn angry at him at the same time. Even if I knew I don't know if I would have been there or if it would have changed anything between us at the time. He was my first love, my first everything, my fairy tale and it blew up in my face. I'm doing the right thing aren't I, giving this another chance?"

"Does he make you happy? Forget Charlotte for a moment, you know he loves her and will be there regardless, are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then you're doing the right thing."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Anytime my, darling. I'll let you go. Give that granddaughter of mine a big hug and kiss. When are you coming home by the way?"

"In another week I think, just after new year, I'll let you know. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

I hang up and have my finger hover over my dad's name for a few seconds before calling. He picks up after the third ring.

"Hey, Annie, long time no hear, what's up?"

"Well, I'm in Seattle."

"Why?" He asks confused.

"Charlotte and I are spending Christmas with Christian."

"I see…"

"I know about the phone call." I blurt out.

"What phone call?"

"The one Christian made to you a couple of years ago wanting to get in touch with me. You never told me."

"I didn't think I had to. You were done with him."

"Do you know after he got off the phone with you he had an accident, that that is the only reason he stayed away for so long. All this time you wanted me to believe the worst about him. I'm not saying he hasn't made mistakes, we all know he has but when he tried to fix them, you stood in the way. You could have just told me he tried to contact you. It was not your decision to make."

"I was being a parent. The first time I saw you after you moved in with your mother your spark and smile were gone, you were a shell of yourself and I blame him. I didn't want that happening again."

"Dad I love you, I don't want to choose between you but if you can't let this go you're only going to be hurting me and Charlotte. My future is with Christian, he will always be in our lives, please let it go, if I can forgive him so can you."

"Just give me some time."

"I can do that. Hopefully we can catch up before I fly back home."

I get off the phone and let out a sigh. That went better than I thought. I know he's my father and only doing what he believed best for me at the time, would I do the same thing in his position, keep something from Charlotte in order to protect her?

My phone beeps with an incoming message from Kate letting me know the package I was waiting for has arrived. I reply that I'll be over soon to collect it. Thank goodness, I was so worried it wouldn't arrive in time even though I put it through as an urgent request.

I send Christian a text that I'm going out for about an hour to meet Kate for coffee.

He texts back telling me to be careful and to take Sawyer with me.

I roll my eyes at his over-protectiveness.

Sawyer was here this morning and is now driving me over to Kate's place. I haven't seen him since he was following me around when Christian and I were engaged. Our first meeting was awkward to say the least. It honestly feels a little weird having him drive me around again, like I've stepped back into the past except I'm not the same person I was back then and neither is Christian.

XXXXX

I'm wrapping gifts in the bedroom where I can hear laughter and arguing coming from what will be Charlotte's new bedroom making me smile. Apparently choosing paint was a hard experience so her walls are going to be two colours. I don't want to imagine what is happening in that room, Christian has never painted a wall in his life. I can hear her instructions and demands floating down the hallway.

I run out of sticky tape and wonder if Christian has any. I go downstairs and step into Christian's study to find some to finish wrapping his gift with while he's busy with Charlotte.

This is the first time I've been in here for so long. It is exactly the same, not a thing has been changed, well this is Christian Grey we're talking about here, did I expect anything different, the only alteration is the photos of our daughter framed on his desk.

I open his desk drawers in the hopes of finding what I'm looking for. I have no luck with the top drawer and move down to the next one. I open it up and all the air leaves my lungs when I find what's laying in there. My engagement ring. He still has it? With shaky fingers I reach in and pick it up, bringing it up closer.

I close my eyes and two images fight each other in my mind, the day he gave it to me and the one where he ripped it off.

A noise at the door startles me, opening my eyes and looking up I find Christian standing there.

"I'm sorry, I was looking for some tape." I stammer.

I put the ring back, close the drawer and step away from his desk wrapping my arms around my waist.

I look down at my feet but feel him moving towards me. Out of the corner of my eye I see his hand open the drawers on the opposite side of his desk, pulling out the tape dispenser and handing it to me.

"Here you go."

"Thank you." I grip it tightly to my chest.

"Ana look at me."

I gaze at his tortured face.

"You still have it." I state.

"I do."

"Why?"

He sticks his hands in his pockets and walks away to stand in front of the large windows overlooking the city with his back to me.

"That night, I came in here and threw it in the drawer not wanting to look at it. As time went on, every time I opened that drawer and saw it, it was a reminder to not let anyone in again, to not allow myself to trust so easily again. The truth is I couldn't get rid of it, it was all I had left to remind me you were once here." His shoulders sag as I hear him exhale.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said so instead I walk up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning my head on his back.

"I was surprised to see it."

"I saw the look on your face while you were looking at it. It hurt you."

"It did, that ring meant so much to me at one time, now it doesn't exactly bring pleasant memories to mind."

"I'm sorry." He turns around in my arms. "I'll get rid of it."

"Stop apologising, we're moving on remember and it's your ring, Christian, you can do whatever you like with it. Where's Charlotte?"

"I left her on the couch with my laptop searching princess beds."

"I better go curtail her shopping spree. Thanks for the tape, I'll leave you to it."

Later that evening Christian asks if we have any Christmas Eve traditions and Charlotte is quick to tell him about our camp-out waiting up for Santa every year.

"We gather our pillows and blankets and sleep in the living room waiting for Santa to arrive. She always sleeps right through." I explain.

"Sounds fun."

After dinner we play a competitive game of Uno while drinking hot chocolate before we busy ourselves leaving milk and cookies out plus some carrots for the reindeers then Charlotte and I change into our pyjamas. With Taylor's help Christian brings in a mattress and places it in front of the fire place.

Once Charlie is satisfied that everything has been prepared to her liking the three of us get under the covers on that mattress by the fire with Charlotte laying between us.

"Goodnight mummy, goodnight daddy."

"Goodnight princess."

She curls into my side as Christian drapes his arm over us both holding my hand.

We're quiet for a few minutes as Charlie falls asleep, the heat from the flames warming my body. The large room dimly lit by only the fire and the twinkling lights on the tree. It truly gives the place a magical feel.

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning. I can't wait to see her face and excitement." Christian tells me softly in order to not wake her.

"Me too. She's loving being here and had a ball painting her room. I can't believe she banned me from seeing it until it's finished."

"I wonder who she takes after?" He jokes. "Do you think I'm doing an okay job with her at this parenting thing so far?" He asks unsurely, although he has no reason to doubt himself.

"You've been absolutely wonderful with her, she loves you and wants to be around you more than me sometimes if you haven't noticed. I'll need to prepare her to go back home soon."

He pouts at that statement.

"Don't. You knew this was only for a little while."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. How are you feeling anyway, how's the cough?"

"Much better, thank you again for everything."

"Tell me, what's your most memorable Christmas memory?"

That's an easy question to answer.

"With my mother and Ray when I was ten. I was convinced I wasn't going to get what I kept asking for. Don't laugh but all I wanted was a red coloured snap strap watch. All the girls at school had one and I thought I would be so cool wearing one too. When I saw it I literally couldn't speak for a couple minutes. The best part was not seeing any of the extended family or friends of my parents, it was just the three of us all day. We were so happy. We had a great big breakfast which we all helped to cook together, in the afternoon it was having hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies, even going outside for a snow fight. I want that experience for Charlotte."

"Then that's what she'll have, baby."

"How about you, what's your favourite Christmas?"

"This one right here."

I look at him skeptically with raised brows.

"It's true, I mean my parents always made the holiday full of fun and family time but over the years it seemed to lose its meaning. I suppose with Charlotte here I'm finding the magic in it again. I can't begin to explain how much it means that you came to be here for Christmas. I would most likely be on my own right now. Anyway, I'm going to go get her gifts and put them under the tree." He cuts off any further conversation by standing up.

Christmas morning I'm woken by Charlotte's excited "Santa came!" as she inspects the plate of cookies and all the brightly coloured packages around the tree.

Christian and I secretly smile at each other knowing we shared the milk and cookies between us.

"Merry Christmas, Anastasia." Christian sits up kissing me deeply before turning to Charlotte who's jumping up and down.

"Merry Christmas, Miss Charlotte."

"Can I open them?"

"Go ahead."

I grab my phone to film her ripping everything open. She got arts and crafts activities, princess dresses and some books. There was a doll for her from Taylor and Gail which was very sweet of them however her main gift from Santa was a pink mini grand piano just like her daddy's which she absolutely adores. While she's busy tinkering with it I pull the black box from under the tree which I placed there handing it to Christian.

"This is for you." I nervously say.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to."

He unties the green ribbon and lifts the lid. On top is a framed photograph of the three of us from Charlotte's birthday party and a book called A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters, it's one of those funny parenting guides and thought he'd get a kick out of it.

"This is great." He chuckles.

Lastly he pulls out the folded piece of paper in the bottom.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

He unfolds it and I know the moment he realises what it is he's holding. He gasps then holds his breath, his eyes pooling with tears as they meet mine.

"This…this is…"

"Yes. Back in Savannah when you were looking at her school work or swimming achievements everything had Charlotte Steele written on it and I heard you mumbling to yourself, it wasn't hard to miss the disappointment in your face that she was a Steele. At the time she was born I left the father's name blank but this is how it should be."

"Charlotte Grey." He whispers running his fingers across the letters.

He captures me in his arms in a soul crushing hug, kissing me hungrily only stopping to rest his forehead against mine.

"Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me."

"I wanted to give you something meaningful. I know it's not much."

"No, Ana this is everything. Okay, your turn."

He calls Charlotte over from playing with her new toys. They hand me two boxes, one large and silver, the other a tiny gold wrapped one.

"Open the big one first, mummy." Charlie bounces up and down on her knees excitedly.

I remove the lid and lift the tissue paper to find a beautiful cream coloured lace dress, with three quarter sleeves.

"Wow, it's gorgeous."

"I owe you a re-do first date. I thought I would take you out for it tomorrow night and figured you probably needed something to wear for it." Christian smiles at me.

"I helped choose it, mummy, do you like it?"

"I love it, it's beautiful just like you."

"There's pretty shoes in the box too." She announces.

I look in the box again and laugh when I see the sparkly silver heels. Yep, these are definitely my daughter's choice.

I take the smaller gift in my hand unwrapping it to find a jewellers logo on the box.

"I heard it was customary to give the mother of my child a gift, something to say thank you for having my baby, better late than never right." I hear Christian say as I'm staring at the box in my hand. I'm a little afraid to open it.

I slowly crack it open. Inside it holds an exquisite gold ring with Charlotte's birth stone in the middle. The gem is round shaped with tiny diamonds running along either side. It's absolutely stunning.

"Christian, this is incredible."

He takes it out and places it on the middle finger of my right hand.

"Thank you." I kiss him in thanks. He can be so thoughtful and couldn't have given me anything more perfect than this.

"You deserve it and so much more."

CPOV

Yesterday was certainly an interesting day.

On the drive to the paint store I asked Charlotte why she ended up in my bed and her answer struck me in the heart. She didn't want me to be lonely because I was downstairs and they were upstairs. This kid sure can pull the heartstrings.

Who knew choosing paint colours takes over an hour. The staff were giving me poor guy looks. I was tempted to buy every fucking colour of the rainbow just to get out of that store. I know Taylor got a kick out of it if his massive grin was any indication.

Then coming back to paint her room was another experience. My daughter can take over GEH at any time judging by her ordering me around. She supervised by pointing out if I missed a spot. It was fun and normal and created a life lasting memory. Charlie had her own little section under the window to paint with her small paintbrush. There was more paint on her than the wall, her clothes were destroyed and Ana was going to probably kill me but it was worth it.

When I found Ana in my office with that damn ring in her hand I almost backtracked out of there like a coward. I'm such an idiot, why didn't I get rid of it or hide it in my safe. I want nothing more than to marry her, have a life with her and Charlotte when the time is right but ring holds bad memories for us both. I'll need to find something better. I was afraid to even speak in case an argument ensued but we had a conversation and it was over. It goes to show our growth and maturity over the years. There's hope for us yet.

Christmas morning was an experience like no other seeing the joy on Charlotte's face. I didn't think it could get any better until I saw that birth certificate. It's only a piece of paper but it has so much significance and for Ana and I it means we've truly turned a corner. My heart felt so full I want to bottle this feeling forever.

After giving each other such special gifts all morning it was little subtle touches and kisses between Ana and I. When I went to bed the other night my dick was crying saying what the hell is wrong with you however I know I did the right thing, not that it was easy. I can't wait to take her out tomorrow night. A proper new start. I have no expectations except spending time alone and making her happy.

After a wonderful breakfast with just the three of us like Ana wanted, where she had me in charge of the toast which I made perfectly if I say so myself we got ready to head out.

Taylor and Gail have the next week off and are spending it somewhere warm so Sawyer along with Ryan is driving us to my parent's house and will be hanging out until we're ready to leave. Mia opens the door ignoring me and takes Charlotte in her arms walking away into the family room telling her that she has gifts for her, Ana follows them as I trail behind weighed down with gifts for my family. I had Gail go shopping a few weeks ago to pick everything up for them. I generally give them gift vouchers but not this year, I still have some sucking up to do.

Stepping into the room putting everything down we all hear a loud crash and an "Oh my gosh!" coming from the kitchen. We all rush over to find Kate standing frozen in the middle of the kitchen, liquid on the tiled floor at her feet and the bowel she must have dropped broken into pieces.

"My water just broke." She announces looking straight at Elliot.

"Are you sure?" He responds. Dumbass.

"Elliot." Kate growls at him.

"Oh, a Christmas baby, how wonderful." My mother cheers.

All the ladies begin to run around cleaning up the mess and getting Kate into the car for Elliot to take her to the hospital. We all stay behind with Ava to wait seeing as it could take hours before the newest Grey gets here.

We open more gifts and have a great lunch. It's great to see the smile on my parent's face at having everybody here and the excitement of waiting on the arrival of their third grandchild. If they knew about Ana being pregnant this is what it would have been like and with that thought my good mood plummets a little. Don't think about that today. I honestly have no idea how long it takes for a woman to have a baby, however five hours later Elliot calls to tell us it's another girl which they've named Emily.

We all make our way to the hospital to see Kate and the baby and crowd into the not very large hospital room congratulating them and crowding the bassinet.

Ana is sitting near Kate on the bed cradling the baby in her arms. She makes it look so easy. I begin picturing her holding our baby. Is that something she even wants again, to have another child, is it possible? We got lucky with Charlotte being healthy but the next time we may not be, I know it's too soon to be thinking about these things but it is something we will need to discuss.

The baby is so tiny and beautiful, she thankfully looks like Kate and I make sure to let Elliot know that. After a few minutes I feel a heaviness on my chest and need to step outside into the corridor for some air.

My father comes out after me finding me leaning against the wall.

"Are you okay, son?"

"Yeah, it's just seeing everyone and Elliot holding the baby, I'm understanding more and more what I and we all missed out on with Charlotte when she was born because of my stupidity. I'm really sorry."

"It can't be easy but you have your second chance, Ana and your daughter are here now."

My father does something he hasn't for years and gives me a hug patting me on the back.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Christian some big and some small but it's how you put things right that counts and I'm proud of you and how much effort you have put into getting your family back together." He kisses me on the temple whispering he loves me.

A few tears escape my eyes but I pull myself together wiping them away. Of all the things he could have said to me, that is what I needed to hear the most. What will he have to say when I tell him my secret which I've been keeping from them all for so long. Will he still be proud?

Ana comes out of the room looking for me. My dad gives me another pat on the back and leaves the two of us alone.

"Kate wants me to stay with her while Elliot goes home to collect her bag and your parents are taking Ava back with them."

"Okay, I'll take Charlie home and send Sawyer with the car back for you."

"Thank you."

She wraps her arms around my waist frowning at my red rimmed eyes.

"Is everything alright?" She asks worriedly.

"Perfect." I smile at her.

On the way back to Escala Charlie is talking non-stop about Christmas and her new baby cousin in between her yawns.

We get back to the apartment and I get her ready for bed. As I'm tucking her in she asks me a question I really am not prepared for.

"Daddy, where does the baby come from? I know they grow in the mummy's tummy but how does it get in there?"

Shit, I need Ana, I'm not equipped to answer this.

Umm, what do I say? I don't think Ana would want me lying to her and telling her outlandish lies. Think Grey.

"Well you'll understand when you're older but the mummy has a special egg in her tummy and the daddy also has something special in his body and when they're put together it makes a baby."

She's gives me a funny look probably thinking really dude an egg.

"Oh, but how?"

"The doctor helps them."

"Oh, okay." she looks as if she doesn't quite believe me.

"So if you need both a dad and mum now that you are here do I get to be a big sister like Ava? Am I going to have a baby brother or sister?"

I rub my hands over my face.

"I don't know, it's not that easy and you'll have to ask mummy, she's the one who has to grow the baby."

"Good point. I'll ask her tomorrow."

That was a close escape. I kiss her goodnight and rush out of there before another question pops into her head.