"Nikolai...sucha traitor I have never met."Voldermort said stroking a hand down the blond's face as he walked closer, looking at the belkov heir surrounded by the elegence and opulance of malfoy manor. Having summoned him to see what the other would say, and seeing the man pale and sway on his feet, was priceless. Wrapping his hand in the other's hair, he shoved him into the table, pinning him there.
Nikolai whimpered softly as the table was driven into his stomach, meeting Draco's eyes across the length of the table, knowing the man had been summoned to watch his execution. Because what else would Voldermort do when he found a spy among them? Closing his eyes to avoid looking into those eyes he shuddered, praying Draco lived through thismoment, to be able to help Harry. His world shattered as the spell was cast on him, trembling as he screamed. His magic becoming the very weapon that was intent on destroying him.
Then he felt what Voldermort was doing to him physically.
"Ah, your lover just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He spilled his secrets, he wanted to betray you, because he knew you were never loyal, you little whore. So spread your legs again Belkov, and I might let you live to know the heartache of his betrayal..and know its your fault for trusting him..."
The words broke the spy, shattering a already breaking mind and he knew the torture for what it was. A mental rape that stole his magicand made it the weapon that broke him, and a physical rape designed to break him, and broke him it did.
Despite being betrayed, despite being sure that harry didn't care for him beyond what he neededfrom him, he hoped the man couldn't see what was happening, hoping that he was getting some peaceful sleep. A lazy smirk as he lost consciousness.
As the days passed, it was Harry that was constantly at the edge of Nikolai's bed, sobbing silently day after day, refusing to be moved away. Even going as far as to toss several nurses and doctors out of the room himself. Day by day though, his own sickness got worse as he fed his magic into the other, refusing to let the other die. Refusing to be abandoned again. It was three weeks where Harry couldn't be sure if the other could hear him pleading to wake up,his promise of love and safety. Three weeks that he planned Voldermort's torture and death. Three weeks to learn that he wasn't just sick.
He waited though, waited for the other's magic to ease it's torment of his lover, waited for his lover's magic to take hold of the spell and rip it apart, a process that might take a month, a year, or even longer. Harry wouldn't stand for that, he poured magic into Nikolai until he was exhausted and had to sleep. Only to resume the activites as soon as he woke, 'borrowing' magic from random people in the hall, plants, animals dark art,but Harry at least didn't drain enough for any of them to notice.
All he could do, was wait.
Just over two months after his world had shattered, Nikolai blinked slowly, squeezing his eyes shut at the harsh light, a small whimper on his lips. Cringing as he felt magic slid over his skin, felt it take hold for a minute before sliding away again. Wondering why he'd even woken up. He remembered enough that his world laid broken at his feet, betrayed by the only man he loved, deprived of the only thing he'd wanted to survive for. At least...that's what he thought.
The spell had kept him from hearing anything that had been going on around him, had kept him in the dark spun of Voldermort's lies, his mind continuely breaking under the words. Even with waking up, his body had survived, but it would take months of patience, love, and promise to put himself together again.
Closing his eyes again at the harsh light, he moaned softly, trying to sink back into the darkness. Though he'd known something had been keeping him alive, kept him from shattering under the pain, he didn't know what was going on. His body hurt to much, his heart hurt. His body had been broken and bruised around the torture, even with Harry's magic healing him, it'd still be done damage. Even without looking he knew his body had been scarred, bones broken. Blinking slowly, he sighed, before drifting back to unconsciousness.
At the first moan Harry grasped his hand gently, a soft lullaby singing in his ear. Promising love and to cherish, to always be there. Wrapping his magic tightly around the blond, he let the magic fill the other fully, for a brief painless moment before it fluttered away."You're going to kill yourself if you keep this up. You need to rest..." The nurse said softly as she rested a hand on his shoulder.
"I can rest, when Nik is awake and knows the truth."Harry snarled at the nurse, who backed out of the room. He rarely wanted anything, so what Harry Potter wanted, he got it. If he had to curse a few doctors to stay at Nikolai's side, he would. Because Harry wanted Nikolai so badly, needed his lover. Because the russian was the other half of his soul.
Days past as Nikolai worked to put his mind and body back together, though he hadn't spoken, he didn't flinch at anyone's touching him anymore. Yet there were still fault lines, still barely healed scars on his mind that threatened to break if pushed to hard. Silence was his defense against the pain that threatened to rip him apart. Yet, even hearing Harry's voice, starting to trust a little bit, wsn't enough to fully heal a man who'd spent his life believing he didn't deserve anyone's attentions.
Blinking startled when he realized he had visitors, he froze with his fingers stroking through Harry's hair, for once in awhile while the other slept he gave into the need to touch him. Dropping his hand as he studied the twins, he raised a eyebrow. Wondering if someone had finally picked up on the fact he didn't exactly trust Harry anymore, despite the man's words and continued presence.
"..."He stared at them, the words refusing to escape. More then anything, he wanted to go home, home where there were good memories. He really wnted to know what was happening with Harry. Though he'd witnesed the sickness over the last two weeks, nothing or no one could tell him what was wrong with the golden boy. Staring harder at the two he tried to convey the question as he glanced at the brunette where he was cuddled against him, before looking up again. Wanting the truth, the pain and longing in the gaze.
Fred smiled slightly, understnding the question as he muttered a sleeping spell to make sure he'd stay asleep. Settling into the chair next to the bed he smiled as George sat next to him.
"Harry didn't betray you, at least not on purpose."Fred said softly."Voldermort raped his mind, took the information he wanted without Harry noticing."
"Harry was never good at occlumency. Harry's been continuously feeding you his magic."
"He's nearly fainted had to sedate hm a few times to, because when they tried to remove him he flew into a rage."
"He hasn't dared to leave you alone, for fear that Voldermort might come and try to kill you again."
"And Voldermort wont leave him alone."Fred sighed softly."He loves you. There's no one he loves more, he even attacked US when we tried to talk him into George's ribs."
"I knew he could be violent, but I never thought that he could snap like that."
"Harry's most likely the only reason you survived. He fed you his magic until he made himelf sick..."
"Used dark arts to suck magic from people and things around him just so he could keep feeding you magic so you wouldn't die and leave him alone."
"Harry is just as dependant on you, as you are on him."
Nikolai was silent for a goodlong while, absently stroking Harry's hair, turning his head to press a kiss to the man's forehead, before sighing. Swallowing hard, refusing to show the tears that were choking him.
"...lasting harm?"He said slowly, needing to know if saving him had caused Harry harm. Rage building slowly at the idea of Voldermort using him against Harry, wanting nothng more then to kill the man for daring to do this.
"Sick."He said for sure, having noticed the brunette throwing up, even after he woke up. The brunette wasn't well. Wondering if his voice would ever heal enough to let him talk normally, having screamed himself hoarse within those hours under Voldermort, his voice broken. Yet he needed his voice, if only to tell Harry just how much he meant to him.
The twins hesitated, then shook their heads, fred answering."Not lasting, but it will take him awhile to recover."
"But harry...has a condition no one knew about, not even Harry himself. Harry will have to tell you. You rest."George ordered gently, lifting the sleeping spell off Harry.
"Yea, the doctor's said that you should recover completely to. Physically anyway. Though you might have a few troubles with your voice giving out once in awhile."
"And ghost pains. Flashbacks, but they'll fade with time to."George promised, patting Nikolai's head like he was a child before they left.
"No...no...get out...get out of my head..."Harry pleaded, panting hard. His scar bleeding, the red liquid spilling down Harry's forehead to drip onto Nikolai's chest."Leave...leave him alone...don't...Nik!NIK!I'll KILL YOU!I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"Harry roared panting hard as he leap out of the bed, swinging at empty air, trying to hit someone that wasn't there. A look of pure fury in his eyes."You think this will break me?YOU THINK THIS WILL BREAK ME!"
And yet, Harry was already breaking, he sometimes wondered if he wasn't already mad.
"Harry!"Nikolai yelled, stumbling as he got to his feet, grabbing the brunette's arm to keep from falling. Dragging him around for a kiss, tasting blood and his own tears. Hanging onto the man tightly even as he felt the other punch him accidently. Whimpering as his legs gave out, realizing a second before he fell that he was going to drag Harry down with him. Wincing as his back hit the floor, head slamming off the bed as he caught Harry, wrapping his arms around him tightly."Harry..."
Harry looked startled as they both hit the floor, looking even more surprised when he realized who was holdinghim."N-Nikolai!You're awake?You're okay?When?How?Why didn't anyone tell me!"He demanded before he was silenced with a kiss, leaning forward into it, wrapping his arms around the other's shoulder tightly."Oh nik, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault you're hurt like this."He whispered burying his face against the other's shoulder."I didn't know he was in my head Nik, I swear I didn't know. I would NEVER betray you!"
Nikolai winced at the other held him, rubbing his head where he'd hit it off the bed."I've been...up for awhile..."He said, not sying the obvious. That he'd pretended to be asleep while the other was awake, because he hadn't known what happened. Now he did, and he was willing to be vulnerable again. Rubbing his shoulder where Harry'd punched him, he sighed."Up?"
Harry smiled a little, gently cradling his lover as he helped him onto the bed, before groaning a little clapping his hand over his mouth as he crumbled a bit. He looked like he was going to be sick again, and was struggling not to puke."Sorry...delayed reaction from the dream..."He said once he was under control."I love you Nik, I really do. Please don't leave me. Please don't, I can't live without you."
A small smile played at his lips as he tugged the other man close, sliding his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead."Love you to."He muttered closing his eyes, before opening one eye to look at him."You...sick?"He asked worriedly, looking torn and sorry that his recovery had caused the man to be sicker then normal. Raising a hand to rub his eyes, a headache starting.
"It's a stress disorder."He lied effortlessly, "It just means that I work myself into a frenzy and then puke. But before you go back to sleep, I HAVE to ask you something."He whispered softly, reaching into his pocket, hesitating, before looking down at the velvet covered box."I don't know much, about high class wizards, even if I am technically one...so I don't know if I'm doing this right or not...would you marry me?"He asked hopefully flipping open the box to reveal a shining white gold ring with the Belkov family crest entwined with the Potter's, a tradional ring for two powerful families.