Thanks to MetalPrincess13, ClinicallyInsaneAndDangerous, Ketchum Kid, JoshDW, and Berry Eon for reviewing!
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Chapter 14-
I wake up to the feel of Rebecca's lips on mine. I open my eyes as she pulls away and smile, which in turn causes her to smile.
"Time to get up, cutie." she says.
"I think I could stand to wake up like that every day." I say contentedly.
"I bet you could." she replies seductively, slowly leaning down for another kiss. Just as I close my eyes and get ready to feel her lips again, I feel the covers ripped off my body and a rush of cool air cascades over me. My eyes snap open to see her holding my bed sheets with an evil smile on her face.
"I couldn't resist." she says, stifling a giggle. Whatever. It would take a lot more than that to get me actually angry at her. I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom while throwing her a dirty look.
"Don't be long- you've got your physical today and Delia wants to leave in half an hour!" she calls to me as she leaves my room. Ah yes, I'd forgotten about that. The professor informed me last week after I signed the contract that all new trainers for Division 3, 4, and 5 teams have to pass a League physical in order to participate on the team. I guess they want the unhealthy people to not be in the spotlight with the good teams. I'm in fine health so today shouldn't be a problem. I do my normal morning routine and head down for breakfast. As I enter the kitchen, I'm greeted by Delia, Evan, Greg, and Schuyler.
"So he's going to be getting lots of shots today, right Delia?" Evan says in that ever present teasing voice.
"I don't know. Maybe?" Delia says uncertainly. "You're not afraid of needles are you Kasey?" she asks, turning towards me with a concerned face.
"Um, no." I reply matter-of-factly. Given all the other things that have happened to my body, the thought of being scared of a needle is laughable. Delia's face relaxes noticeably while Evan frowns at his failure to rouse me. I pour myself some cereal and chat with the others about training stuff. Over the past week the Professor has had me work out with several different pokemon in his lab to try and get a feel for which types I work best with. He also had taken me to a couple other research facilities to work with the types that he didn't have at the lab. Obviously given my teammates we didn't bother working with Fire, Psychic, Flying, Dark, Ground, Ghost, Electric, or Water types, but I did have fun working with several pokemon of the other types. The Professor hasn't decided yet which one's he wants me to settle on, though I told him definitely not Ice, Fighting, or Normal, and preferably not Poison or Bug types either. But I guess I'll have to see what he feels is best for the team.
"Well Kasey, it's about time to go now, ready?" Delia asks while standing up.
"Yeah, let's go."
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The drive to the doctor doesn't take that long. The office is in Viridian City. I note that it sure is a lot quicker driving through the Viridian Forest than walking through it. During the drive, Delia and I talk about how we're going to handle the big announcement of my signing with the team. She says she's been in contact with the League and that they want to have on the Pokemon League Channel since they want to milk my marketability for all it's worth or something. There would be some statements by the Professor and me followed by a question and answer session with any reporters that are interested. Probably not that many. Or should I say, hopefully not that many.
Finally we get there and go in. It looks like a standard doctor's office waiting room, complete with chairs, magazines, and toys for little kids. Delia talks to the person at the counter while I take a seat. Delia comes back with several forms that she makes me fill out all about my personal information and past medical history. I fill it out to the best of my ability and Delia assures me that it's fine that I left some things blank. She takes the forms back to the lady at the front desk, and then we wait. After about fifteen minutes of idly flipping through a magazine that in one article claims that "Missing trainer Ryan Rayne has gone off to join a cult" a nurse comes and calls me back. I follow her back to a room where she weighs and measures me, then follow her to another room where she tests my vision and hearing, then finally follow her to the exam room.
"The doctor will be in shortly." she says, leaving my chart on the table. I look around the room at all the cool things they always keep in the exam rooms like the thing they use to look in your ears and the reflex tester and the medical supplies. Just as I'm contemplating stealing a couple of tongue depressors for the hell of it, the door opens and the doctor enters. He's a young guy- definitely in his thirties. He has a pleasant look on his face that I'm sure helps keep his patients at ease.
"So you must be Kasey- pleasure to meet you, I'm Dr. Hammond." he says in a deep, friendly voice.
"Nice to meet you." I reply.
"So, joining the Horizon Team, huh? Congratulations on that."
"Thanks- it's a great opportunity for me."
"No doubt about that. So why don't we get started, okay?"
"Sure." I say as he takes a seat on a stool while I sit down on the table.
"How do you feel generally?" he asks
"I don't really get sick, so I feel pretty good." I reply.
"How is your appetite?"
"Usually it's fairly good; sometimes there are times when I'm not that hungry." I answer truthfully. He takes down a note of that.
"Have you ever smoked?"
"No."
"Have you ever done any drugs?"
"No."
"Are you sexually active?"
Uh-oh, how do I answer that one? My hesitation causes the doctor to look up from his notepad at me. "Tell the truth- it's important." he says seriously.
"I've been…fairly active." I answer slowly.
"How many partners have your had?"
I think about how phrase an answer that doesn't make me seem like some kind whore, even if that pretty accurately describes what I was. "Let's say more than I care to remember."
Now he's looking at me with a very serious look on his face. "Was this sex consensual? Were you sexually assaulted or raped?"
"No!" I say, waving my hands. "It was my decision." I close my eyes and sigh. "Look, I used to live in the Celadon underground, and in order to get money, I worked as a go-go dancer and…. as a male escort- if you get my drift. Then after that I had a couple of flings while I was travelling as a trainer." What can I say? I guess all that time doing stuff in the underground gave me a hormone overdrive because I was disgustingly horny when I travelled with my old teams. And it wasn't exactly hard to get with someone that wanted to sleep with me given all the practice I had.
"Are you kidding me? How long did this last? How many people did you do things with? Actually, what things did you do?"
"I don't know. I probably did the underground for a year and a half I guess, so I guess I did at least a couple hundred people. And as far as what kind of sex, let me just leave it at pretty much everything under the sun."
"Jeez." he mutters, shaking his head and giving me a look of disbelief and pity. "Wait, did you use protection at least?" he asks quickly.
I stop to think about that for a second. I'm not so sure that I did.
"I don't think I did every time." I answer with a frown.
"That was incredibly irresponsible for both you and the person you were with!" he says with a raised voice. "Do you realize you could have been given a sexually transmitted disease? You could have any number of diseases. I'm ordering blood cultures right away, and I'm ordering an HIV test." he says, scribbling onto my chart the various orders.
My blood freezes when he says HIV. I know full well that if I have that, there's no way I can be a trainer, not to mention I have a death sentence. I lean back in the chair and stare at the wall. What if I have it? How could I have been so stupid? Thank heavens I haven't done anything with Rebecca yet- if I had given it to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. The doctor looks back over at me and must see that I'm on the verge of freaking out as his face turns to one of concern.
"Kasey, I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. I want you to take a deep breath. It's not likely that you have HIV. I'm just being thorough. And I promise you that I won't tell anyone about the HIV test. It's strictly confidential. I'm going to do the rest of your physical, and then I'll have the nurse come in and draw the blood for the test. We'll do the test and we'll have the results in about fifteen minutes. Do you understand?" he asks gently. All I can do is numbly nod my head.
The rest of the physical passes by in a blur. He has me take off my shirt and listens to my heart and lungs. Then he has me drop my pants. I'm so preoccupied by the HIV test, that I totally forget why I never let people see me in just my boxers.
"Oh my. Kasey, what happened to your legs?"
I look down and sure enough, I can see plenty of the criss-crossing scars across my thighs from beneath my boxers. All I can do is look back up at the doctor and sigh.
"These are self inflicted I take it?" he asks. I nod in response.
"Well, no contest, you're easily my most interesting patient to date." he says, shaking his head. He finishes with the exam and tells me I can put my clothes back on. I get dressed, stealing glances at the chart that he's writing on- stuff about me, but what stuff? And who exactly gets to take a look at these records? The worried feeling in my stomach intensifies. I sit down and wait for him to stop writing. Finally after a minute he sets his pen down and looks at me- his face shows a mix of sympathy and sternness.
"Okay Kasey, let's talk. First off, the nurse will be in here after I leave to take the blood for the test. Now almost all of labs will take some time to get back since they're done at another facility. However, we can run the HIV test here, and it only takes 15 minutes like I said before. You can stay here and get the results then. You're also going to get a couple of booster shots as well. Second, we need to talk about your cutting. How long has this been going on?"
"A few years." I reply quietly.
"Well, at least you've been keeping it clean, since there appears to be no infections and you don't seem to have any illnesses like blood poisoning. Please tell me you didn't share whatever it is that you use with someone else."
"No, I'm the only one that's used it."
"Good. I don't need you having two potential sources for body fluid based pathogens or diseases. Now I think we can both agree that this is not a very healthy habit at all, right?"
All I do is nod my head in agreement. I do know that I should probably stop; I've just never put any effort into trying since I didn't need to. And it does provide me with that release…
"So I'm going to recommend that you start going to see a therapist."
I snap my head up and glare at him. "Are you saying I'm crazy or something? I don't need a shrink to hop me up on pills and mess with my head." I spit out angrily. I'd heard plenty of stories from people in the underground about what those psych people do to you.
"Calm down Kasey." he says worriedly. "I'm not calling you crazy, and the therapist can't force you to take any drugs. But they can help you work through your problems and find better ways to get through them. They can help you stop relying on cutting to solve your problems."
"I don't know if I like the sound of it." I say coldly, crossing my arms.
"Well unfortunately, that is one of terms of you passing your physical. You know the league won't let you join Professor Oak's team if you don't pass, and I can't pass you if you're not healthy emotionally."
I sit there stunned. I try to think of a way to get out of this, but he's right. The ball's in his court on this one. I hang my head in resignation.
"Fine, you win." I say, dejectedly.
"It's not about winning, Kasey." he says firmly. "I don't want you to be unhappy. I want you to be healthy and to enjoy life. But I can't in good conscious say you are healthy when I know what you are doing to yourself. Have you told anyone on the team about this?"
I shoot him my best 'are you crazy?' look. "Of course not. Imagine how they would react. They'd probably think I'm a nutcase and that is not something I need. They know what I feel they need to know about me and that's it." I say, some anger returning to my voice.
"I think you're wrong, knowing all of them quite well. I know that they would want to do anything that they could to help you stop this and get better. There's no way they would think you're crazy."
"Still, I've never told anyone about it before, and I don't plan to start now. And you better not tell them either. I want doctor-patient confidentiality on this for sure."
"I wasn't going to tell them since it's not my place. I just think you should give it some thought. I'm sure the therapist is going to say the same thing." he says in his ever patient voice that I know must be running thin. "I'm going to go get the nurse and then I'll bring Delia in here and we can talk about my recommendations." he says, getting up from his stool and walking out the door.
"I can't wait!" I call out to him, sarcastically. After a couple minutes, a nurse comes in with a syringe and other stuff. She wraps a band around my arm and tells me to make fist. Then she wipes an area on the inside of my elbow clean and sticks in the needle. She draws a couple test tubes of blood and pulls it out, putting a bandage in its place. I only watch with mild interest, my day having been completely ruined by this doctor's visit from hell. She proceeds to give me three other shots of stuff on top of that.
"Just wait until they try and drag me to a dentist." I think to myself with a smile. The nurse gives me a smile thinking I'm smiling at her, and leaves the room with my blood.
--
After a couple more minutes, Delia and Dr. Hammond come back in.
"Alright Doc, is he going to live?" Delia asks jokingly. I just sit there frowning at him. He chuckles at Delia's joke, but turns serious after glancing at me.
"Well Delia, he's fine physically as far as I can tell. We're going to run some blood tests on him to make sure there's nothing going on under the surface, one of which is being done as we speak, the rest we'll get in a few days and I'll let you know the results of them when we get them. I'm also requiring that Kasey see a therapist as one of the terms of passing this physical."
Delia frowns slightly at this. "Is there something we should know? Is there a problem with him?" she asks worriedly, looking between me and the doctor. My frown deepens into an outright scowl.
"Nothing to be alarmed about Delia. I just feel like given Kasey's history, it would be prudent for him to see a therapist to talk to about things. I have a few in mind and I'll give you their contact information." he says in a calm voice, which in turn leads Delia to calm down. I'm immune to his little mind tricks though.
"Well okay then, so how long until this test is done?" she asks.
"I'll go check on it. It shouldn't be that long. I'll also get the numbers of those therapists." he says, getting up again. After the door shuts, Delia turns to me.
"So, how did everything go?" she asks in her ever pleasant voice.
"I want to get these results and get out of here and never come back." I reply icily. She takes the hint and sits back in her chair and waits along with me for the doctor to come back with the test results. All I can think about is "what if it's positive?" Am I going to be able to handle life as a person that's HIV-positive? How will the team treat me? Will they even want to be around me? And Rebecca- there's no way she would want to still be my girlfriend. It would be the end of any hope for happiness that I currently have. Why did I have to be so stupid back then? I was definitely experienced and knowledgeable enough to know better than to forget protection. This is completely my mom's fault- why did she have to get married to that abusive jerk and force me to leave? She should have cared more about me than him- I'm her son dammit!
The wait is agonizingly long as we sit there both with our own thoughts. Finally Dr. Hammond comes back in with a sheet of paper.
"Delia, if you could excuse us for a sec?" he asks politely. She nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. He then turns to me. "Here are the results of the test, Kasey." he says. "Let's see what it says…"
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Well, my professors did their best to try and kill me this semester, but they failed once again. Now I'm back in business, ready to post updates back like I used to- weekly at least. Thanks for putting up with my sabbatical. I did spend some time learning to become a better writer and I hope it winds up showing. Your cheers of "welcome back" are of course welcome along with any reviews you'd like to leave...