She thought she knew how empty a house could feel, but it had never felt this empty. He'd left. Andy had gone back to his life, their life, back in California. Except now, it wasn't "their" life. They no longer shared the same friends, even basically the same job. He'd gone home, and he would get a chance to speak to their kids. There it was again, that word, "their," and what was even more ironic is that it took Sharon being yanked from their life to even realize it had been their life-together, one they had slowly been creating.
She sunk down onto the couch and looked around the house. He'd hung the drapes; she smiled at that, knowing Andy had put a small stamp on her house. It wasn't "their" house; it was her house with her son. Rusty. Admittedly, she wished now it was "their" house, not that she was ready to take that kind of a leap, but "their" meant Sharon AND Andy, and right now, Andy was on his way back to "their" life in California. All of this was for Rusty, to keep him safe, and while she didn't regret that for one second, she did let herself slip into a period of mourning. Sharon didn't know when she would speak to Andy. They'd discussed burner phones and options such as that, but with both having worked in law enforcement, they knew even those weren't foolproof. They could still give away more than either wanted to risk. So, they were going to play it safe, or safer than they wanted. It was harder than either imagined to agree to no phones, but they had. Andy knew where she was and that she was safe. That was enough for him, as hard as it was to admit. Sharon knew Andy had searched for her; he wanted her, and he loved her. That, for Sharon, was enough too. They could do this.
Sharon sighed as she pulled herself off the couch and walked to her kitchen to get herself something to drink. She was home earlier than usual, and she'd told Rusty she would make dinner. On Mondays, he had an early class and then a 3:30 class, so he wasn't home yet either. Sharon opened her refrigerator and almost started to cry. Andy had been busy at the house while she'd been at work. He'd made up spaghetti sauce, now chilling in the refrigerator, and he'd made another casserole for her. She smiled at his handwritten note on the food, "I will always find a way to cook for you." Sharon shook her head at the gesture; he was a wonderful man. He'd been to the store that morning and stocked up her refrigerator with things he knew she liked, her favorite flavored waters, salad, and even some of Rusty's favorite deli meats. She opened the freezer, almost wondering what she might find, and she smiled again when she saw he'd put two more casseroles in there. Somehow, he'd managed to find time for all of it-he'd taken care of a few small projects around the house, gone to the store, and he'd left her food. Oh, she missed him already.
In lieu of phones, she'd suggested they write everything down they wanted to say, and then the next time they saw each other, they could exchange their notebooks. Sharon knew this was a risk too, but as she'd told Rusty and Andy, she was living in a gray area right now and was willing to send her innermost thoughts and feelings to Andy through a notebook. She glanced to the table where hers still sat from the store, and she went to it. This was something she needed to tell him.
She smiled again when she opened it and on the first page found, "I will always love you," written for her. She wiped her lone tear and sat down to write.
"It's not even been a few hours, but I already miss you so much. I came home to the most wonderful surprise, a full stocked refrigerator. I can't tell you what that means. It is just one example of your kindness and one more reason I love you." Sharon thought for a few more minutes and wrote more in her first note to Andy. She finished and chuckled when she realized she'd filled the page. Yes, he'd just left, but she had so much to say.
"I'm home," she heard Rusty call to her, and she closed her notebook. She smiled to Rusty when he walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Sharon," he smiled to her as he walked toward the refrigerator. She could tell Rusty was on a mission. "You been home long?"
"No," she shook her head as she watched him get something to drink. "I only got home 15 minutes ago. I was noting just how busy Andy was here this morning, and I'm guessing you helped with that."
"Oh," he flashed a small grin, "yeah, I helped. He wanted to do something nice for you. He spent most of the morning cooking. I helped with that. Yeah, when I got back from class, he'd already gone to the store, and he was hanging the curtains you wanted. He made like three casseroles."
"I saw," Sharon smiled softly as she spoke to Rusty. "That was very thoughtful of him, you too."
Rusty shrugged, "Least I could do. I figured if the guy wanted to leave his homemade Italian food, which I have to say is really good, I could help prepare it and clean up. Plus, I know you miss him. You two, like really care about each other, more than I realized. I guess I thought it was just old people hanging out."
"We do," Sharon nodded. "I love him very much. It took be yanked from our lives at home to say it," she rolled her eyes to Rusty, "but I do. He loves me too."
"So, that's like wrong," Rusty frowned. "I'm the reason you two are suffering and can't be together. Sharon, this is my fault."
Sharon stood and put her hand on Rusty's arm, "Listen," she pursed her lips, "this is not your fault. We are safe. Was this in the plans? No, but we are safe. Honestly," she smiled softly again, "if we were still at home, Andy and I might still be dancing around our feelings. We have both realized what is at stake here, and neither of us want to hide it from each other. He found us; we'll make it work."
"But, like, he can't come live here, can he, not that I ever want to imagine that?" Rusty asked, as he pretended to gag.
Sharon frowned, "No, he can't. Andy can't leave Los Angeles. He's the connection to Ricky and Emily we need, and besides, he has his own children I would never ask him to leave. We don't know how long we will be here, Rusty. They could catch Stroh at any moment."
"We could be here forever," Rusty pointed out to her.
Sharon just nodded, but remained silent. She squeezed Rusty's arm and picked up the notebook she'd been writing in earlier, and she walked to her room. She could feel Rusty watching her. Yes, she was aware they could be stuck in Ohio forever, but she couldn't focus on that now. She wanted to change, to move on from the day. She smiled again when she saw several notes around the room from Andy, all sweet comments she could keep. Now, she had something from him she could keep. He'd also printed out and framed a simple photo of the two of them Rusty had taken after church. Andy had put it on her nightstand, and she sat on her side of the bed and picked it up. She ran her hand over it before she looked around the room. He'd just been there; he'd spent two days with her, and it had been wonderful.
"So, why have you been so afraid to admit you have feelings for me?" Andy flashed her a grin as they faced each other on Sharon's bed. They were lying on their sides, facing toward each other, and they'd spent the last two hours talking. It had been the first night, the night Andy had arrived, the night they'd talked almost the whole night. "When you left, one of the last things you said to me was your divorce was about more than just Rusty. I always kinda figured that, but why were you so scared to tell me?"
Sharon looked away as she felt the blush creeping up her face. When she glanced back, she caught Andy still watching her, waiting patiently. "Well," she cleared her throat, "as confident as I am interrogating murder suspects, I am the complete opposite when it comes to relationships."
"Okay," Andy reached over and ran his arm on her shoulder. He found her fingers and laced his fingers with hers. He nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I mean, I know you aren't playing the field or anything," he grinned, hoping that would lighten the mood.
Sharon smiled brightly as she started to relax. "Andy, my feelings for you have been growing for a long time, and I guess it has scared me a little. For one, I didn't want to ruin everything at work. You and I work so well together, and the team knows it. I didn't want to jeopardize that. Andy, I'm your boss, WAS your boss. I just didn't want to cause a mess there."
"And?" he nodded. "You and I both know I could care less about work, as far as my reputation. You're right; we work so well together, but Sharon I know that's not it."
She sighed as she rolled her eyes, "It's just been Jack, just Jack for so long. I wasn't sure I knew how to do this," she gestured between them, "to have a real relationship. I haven't had to discuss feelings and thoughts with anyone in so long. I haven't had to think about balancing home and work. I wasn't sure if I could do it. I guess you could say I was freaked out, as Rusty would suggest, at the idea of it all. Plus, I was dealing with some very strong feelings of attraction in the mix."
"Really?" Andy grinned as he pulled Sharon a little closer. "So, you think I'm hot?" he teased as he kissed her forehead.
"Hot-headed, of course," she fired back. She heard Andy groan at the playful comment, and then they both grew serious again. "I've thought you were extremely handsome for quite some time. Ever wonder why I have to close my blinds? There are days I have stared at the same expense report for over an hour because I can't stop staring at you. The blinds helped me focus."
"See," he nodded to her, "that's where we have a problem. The moment you close your blinds, I lose focus, not that it was great before that, but I couldn't stand not being able to see you, not being able to throw a subtle glance your way during the day."
Subtle?" Sharon grinned, her eyes sparkling.
"Okay," Andy agreed, "maybe, I wasn't so subtle. Sharon, I want you to talk to me; I've always wanted you to talk, and I thought we were doing a great job of discussing feelings and thoughts."
"We were," she nodded, "just not romantic feelings, but that's where I went wrong. I should have trusted you enough to talk to you about that. I'm just glad we are talking now."
"Well, yeah," he shrugged. "Maybe I should transfer to Missing Persons. I seem to have a knack for tracking down former police captains."
"Maybe," she grinned as she leaned in to kiss him. "The sad thing is you can't even tell them that in a transfer request, so best you stay with our team."
"It is our team," he smiled to her and kissed her quickly.
"It WAS our team, Andy. It may never be again," she sighed.
Now, as Sharon looked around her room, she thought about what Rusty had said. Rusty had asked if Andy could ever move there, and while the idea was wonderful, she knew it couldn't happen. They agreed he would keep an eye on the kids, all the kids, well, except Rusty. Andy would take care of anything the four kids needed, and he'd find a way to let Emily and Ricky know Sharon was okay. Sharon had given him something to pass along to Emily.
"I hate to ask," she rolled her eyes, as they stood in her room talking, "but, would you find a way to get this to Emily?" She handed Andy her wedding band and engagement ring. Andy raised his eyebrows at her. "I know," she waved him off. "It is rather awful of me to ask you to pass along my wedding rings from my ex-husband. Yes, I'm aware, but I don't want them. I'd like Emily to have them, and maybe somehow, she'll realize you got these from me. The agency sent the rings, not knowing the history there. I don't want them here at all. Jack has no business in this home, ever."
Andy reached for her hand, and he ran his fingers over it. "I'll be happy to give Emily the rings. They were yours, Sharon," she smiled softly. "Any boyfriend who is unwilling to help his girlfriend dispose of her former wedding rings isn't a true boyfriend," he winked. Sharon laughed; that had broken the awkwardness, and he'd then promised to take care of her rings.
"Sharon, do you want to eat soon?" Rusty asked from the living room.
"I'll be out in a minute," she told him as she snapped out of her state. She wanted to change and started to dig through her drawers. As she took off her suit, she smiled at the memory from lunch.
"Excuse me, Ma'am, I was told that if I asked nicely, I might be able to take you to lunch?" Andy had asked as he walked up to Sharon at work. He had his hands in his pockets and was smiling brightly at her. Sharon was on the floor, which accounted for almost 40% of her job. Ironically, she was discussing an issue with George, the loss-prevention man, as Andy approached. She'd told him she expected to be on the floor all morning, and her meeting she couldn't cancel had been with George and others on the staff. They were discussing some new security measures.
Sharon and George both turned toward Andy, and while Sharon flashed a huge smile, Andy wanted to chuckle noting that George appeared concerned and was trying to size up Andy.
"Sir, if you need help, I can gladly help you. Let's not bother her; she's got work to do here," George stated as he tried to come to Sharon's rescue. Sharon met Andy's gaze and smiled at him. Andy quietly chuckled, even appreciating how concerned George was for Sharon.
"George," Sharon quickly touched his arm, as she noted he had taken a step toward Andy, "this is Andy," she gestured. "He's with me; he's harmless," she grinned. Sharon and Andy watched as George looked between them trying to figure out the situation. "Andy is my boyfriend."
"Oh, boyfriend? I'm so sorry; I didn't know," he sighed. He stuck his hand out to Andy, "George Stevens," he told Andy. "Nice to meet you. I work with Sandra."
"Andy," he nodded to him. "Sandra has mentioned you. Nice to meet you. No apologies needed; I'm visiting from out of town."
"Oh," George said with a sigh. "Okay, I was wondering why I'd misread things."
"George, Andy is an old friend from California. He had business in Cleveland and drove here to see me for a couple days," Sharon offered. "I try to keep my personal life out of work. I'm not one to mix business with pleasure."
Andy flashed a grin and raised his eyebrows at Sharon. It was all he could do not to laugh, so he turned his attention back to George, "I appreciate you sticking up for her," he nodded. "Too many dirt bags in this world. I promise, though, that I'm harmless."
"Well, I just feel like an oaf! You two, go, enjoy lunch, and Sandra, I'll work on the changes we discussed," George told them.
Sharon nodded to George, and she turned back to Andy and reached out for his hand. He quickly put his hand in hers, and the two waved to George as they left. While still in sight, Andy kissed her cheek as they walked.
"He is a nice guy," Andy pointed out as they walked away.
"He is," Sharon nodded, "which is why it's been so sad in a way to keep turning him down. Thank you for helping me there; that should clear up anything. He's a very nice man, and I'm just not interested."
"Good think I found you when I did," he winked.
Sharon smiled as she finished changing. Andy had complimented her suit earlier in the morning and again at lunch.
"No wonder they have you in the men's department! You're probably posting the best sales. Men probably flock to you when they see you dressed like that. There's no way a guy could focus with this," he gestured to her clothing. "You're too nice of a person, but a really evil woman would get guys to buy everything in the department when the guys are so distracted."
Sharon smiled, "It's a two-way street. Why do you think I know so much about men's suits? I've been staring at yours for years now."
"Sharon, I'll put the spaghetti sauce on," Rusty called to her again. She smiled; he was hungry, and he was trying to not get too impatient. Sharon was going to try to not get too impatient about her next visit with Andy. They had plans in the works, not plans they could discuss easily, but hopefully, she would be able to see him again before the end of summer.