InsanitySorrow 2.0: I recommend you reread the last scene of chapter 8; Rage has a objective, and it certainly isn't Raven's well-being. The merge is exactly what it sounds like. All of her Emoticlones are fragments of her psyche, and she's going to put them back together. That means she'll take on some of Joy's personality, and Wisdom's, and Love's, and Rage's, and… you get the idea.

Guest: Keep in mind that he threatened her first. Beast Boy knows that she's extremely proud and won't accept someone getting in her face, and still pulled on the tiger's tail. Besides, I hinted that it wasn't purely Raven who was speaking at the time.

SepticMind: If a half-demon doesn't scare you, she's not trying hard enough. As I said last chapter, I find Beast Boy to be annoying, and he makes a convenient semi-antagonist. When the confrontation does happen, it won't just be about Raven dating Jinx anymore; remember that warning Wisdom gave her? I'm going to try to update this story in a timely manner, but with med school and three fics, it will be a challenge.

TUYET PHAM: Maybe he would have been developed more if they had a sixth season, but since it ended… I agree with you completely on the Titans not being the best of friends. A lot of insecure people hide behind masks, and Raven's no exception; she's been practicing it all her life.

This should — should, mind you — be the last of the depressing chapters. I hope so, anyway.

Disclaimer: Did Raven ever mention the negatives living with a shattered mind must have presented? If not, I don't own the Teen Titans franchise; it belongs to DC Entertainment, Glen Murakami, and Warner Bros.

Chapter 14
Second Chance

Jinx lay on her couch, staring at the ceiling. She knew that she should get up and do something, anything, but she couldn't gather the motivation. Rejection wasn't an unfamiliar thing; there had been several other girls she thought were interested in her who had turned out to be straight as arrows, but their looks at her afterward were nothing. Raven's, on the other hand, was a knife tearing at her heart.

The dark Titan was everything she had been looking for. Well, maybe not everything. Raven had her flaws: she was a shut-in; had a snooty attitude until someone practically chiseled their way through her shell, even if that was totally understandable with her childhood and team; and for such a smart girl, she was as oblivious as a brick wall. Still, those didn't outweigh her sharp wit and tongue, her hidden caring side, her blunt honesty, her past that meshed so sadly and so easily with the thief's own, her beauty…

She sighed for the umpteenth time in the three days since her wild night. Going through their visit — because it wasn't a date, no matter how much she had thought it was — with a fine-tooth comb and asking 'what if' would do her no good, but there she was, doing it again. It hadn't helped when Stone turned out to be Cyborg, it hadn't helped when she broke up with Kid Flash, so why did she think it would help now? If she had the will, she'd take a long soak in the bath and then move on, but wallowing in depression was easier. She closed her eyes, hoping she could pretend that that night was just a bad dream and Raven was waiting on her to call.

The communicator on her coffee table beeped. Speak of the devil, she thought bitterly. It's Baran, I bet, wanting to talk about what's 'got me down'. That or Gizmo's gonna threaten to drag me out by my ankles again to snap me outta my funk. Will they leave me alone if I tell them right at the beginning to fuck off? No, that'll bring them here faster. I just won't answer it. She opened the thing anyway.

What she saw on the screen wasn't a text message, but a long email. Jinx was stumped for a minute, then scrolled back to the top after futilely checking for a signature. The mystery sender had gotten her curious, and not even her break-up lethargy could keep her from scratching that itch.

"Nirupama,

"I wish to begin by giving you my sincerest apologies. When I left your apartment,"

She almost dropped the device in shock. It was from Raven! She knew her chance with the Azarathian was gone, but no one had ever apologized for turning her down before. Maybe this meant they could at least stay friends, unlike when she asked Angel out.

"When I left your apartment, I was caught up in my own surprise, so much so that I did not even consider how you must have interpreted my actions. You need to understand, I had never before believed I would be attracted to another woman.

"To find out that I am, and that the woman in question is someone I have considered both enemy and friend, was a disconcerting revelation.

"It has taken me some time to understand and accept this desire for you,"

Jinx's grin had grown from nothing to wide enough to reach her ears after just a few sentences. This was much better than she had even hoped for.

"time which I fear you have spent in sorrow. That was not my intention. I expect you are also quite angry with me for unknowingly stringing you along, anger I fully deserve. I hurt you, and worse, I did so without realizing it or even considering the possibility.

"Were I in your position, I do not know that I could forgive anyone who treated me as I have you. At the same time, I find myself hoping that you are a better person than I, that I can correct my mistake and be in your arms once again.

"If you are willing to give me another chance, I would like to meet with you at your convenience to let me explain myself more fully. If you are not, then I would still like to maintain our friendship. Your companionship has been a balm to my soul over the past month.

"Please, Nirupama. Just one more chance."

She closed the communicator with a sharp snap, then she looked around the room. If there would be company over, she needed to clean the place up and get some fresh air inside. There was a health food store close by where she could buy some tea, too. She sniffed herself and grimaced; a shower and a change of clothes just moved to the top of her to-do list. Even her odor, though, couldn't dim her enthusiasm.

So the sorceress wanted to apologize and be her girlfriend after all? Well, she supposed she could oblige. If she played her cards just right, she might even get the chance to satisfy her growing urge to rip Raven's clothes off and throw her onto the bed. After all, Jinx thought as she subconsciously licked her lips, she does owe me for this little runaround.

The H.I.V.E. communicator's beep broke into Raven's fidgeting. Jinx had responded within an hour of her letter saying that she would inform her when their meeting location was presentable. That had been the day before, and she had been impatiently waiting since.

She read the short message — "Come to my place" — and breathed deeply to center herself. Love was correct that Jinx still desired her. Or she wants to hurt me in return. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind; now was not the time for her pessimism to have free reign.

With a swirl of her soulself, she teleported to the front door of Jinx's apartment. She knocked quietly, but that did not prevent the thief from hearing and opening the door. "I didn't think you'd make me wait long. Well, come in."

Raven entered the lion's den and looked about the room. Jinx apparently spent the past day cleaning, for the dust she remembered on the carpet had disappeared and the scent of lemons lingering in the air indicated the furniture was freshly polished. She stood uneasily as Jinx dropped onto the loveseat. "I owe you an explanation."

"You do, but I really don't need to hear it. I know what it's like realizing you're into girls; in fact, I took a whole lot longer than a few days to come to terms with it. Let's get to the important stuff: you like me, right?" Raven nodded. "You know I like you, right?"

"This is eerily similar to another conversation I had recently on this subject," she murmured. "Yes, I now know you are attracted to me."

"Did this other person help out with writing the note you sent, too? I thought it sounded a little sappy for you," Jinx said before shaking her head quickly. "Gah, don't distract me! Anyway, we're falling hard for each other. Do you care what the Titans say about us being together?"

"As if you need to ask."

The pinkette laughed. "That was a stupid question, wasn't it? Baran and Giz might make a fuss at first, but they'll get over it. Our teams aren't an issue, our feelings aren't an issue, anything else you can think of that could be?"

"No, I believe those are all of the hurdles, at least on my side."

"Well then, why is there so much space between us?" Jinx rose and sauntered over, delicate hands sliding around her waist and pulling her body against the other girl's. "That's better."

Their second kiss was better than the first. Raven was expecting it this time and responded with enthusiasm, which encouraged her girlfriend — her girlfriend, what a thought! — to deepen it and initiate what her clandestine romance novels called the "war of tongues". She melted into Jinx's arms.

Later Raven would berate herself for ignoring the frantic signals her emotions were sending her. As their kiss became more aggressive, she became so focused on the sensations on her skin and the heat radiating from her groin that she almost missed the cold flowing down from the crown of her head. Her eyes shot open, and she immediately noticed the gray and red haze creeping in from the edges of her vision. No! she mentally shouted. Do not do this, not now!

"I am not at fault, Raven. This is all you."

"We need to stop," she whispered, but the thief was too involved in peeling the collar of her leotard down and nibbling on the newly exposed skin to hear her. "Jinx, stop."

"C'mon, Raven," Jinx said, continuing to caress her neck and back, "it's okay. Just relax." Each pass of hand and lips caused the haze to pulse like a beating heart and encroach farther and farther.

"I said stop!" Then she did something she had hoped to avoid: she used her soulself to blast the thief several feet away from her. She spun on her heel to try to calm down, though that it kept from looking at the bewildered and betrayed expression on her girlfriend's face was an added benefit.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a pro at giving mixed signals? Seriously," Jinx muttered, but her voice stopped as she saw Raven's slight shaking. "Raven, what's wrong?"

I cannot tell her that she nearly saw my true nature, nor can I ignore the question. Forgive me for lying to you. "My emotions are quite volatile at the moment. I do not wish for my powers to accidentally harm you."

"Volatile? I'd make the case that your emotions are normally like that, but considering your soulself would probably decide to tear me to shreds for it, I'll just ask why it's so bad today."

Farther and farther down the slippery slope we fall. "Jinx, you feel for me so strongly. Your affection is a burst of citrus, complemented well by the accompanying joy and lust. You are not forced into maintaining a heart of ice when you want nothing more than to laugh, or cry, or scream in ecstasy. I envy that freedom; I want it for myself to such degree that I doubt you can ever understand.

"When my powers and emotions were caged, it broke me. The Raven you know is only a pale shadow of what I can be, what I should be. For years I have trained, and though I am still discovering what my soulself is capable of, no longer do I have to constantly fight it to maintain control. The difficulty now is that it is rigid rather than unpredictable, which I know is because I am manipulating only a portion of it. It is like forcing the tail to wag the proverbial dog." She took a calming breath as she realized she had abandoned her lie in favor of the unvarnished truth.

"I hope that releasing the bonds will give me full control of all my abilities, but doing so has another effect: my emotions will invariably merge, whether I wish them to or not. For the first time in fourteen years, I will be whole. Whole, Jinx, a state that I can barely remember. The thought both terrifies and exhilarates me, and the fragments of my mind are echoing and amplifying that excitement, which causes more disturbances.

"In short, my emotions are acting out because I am in the process of reintegrating them into my psyche."

"Holy shit. Raven, are you sure that's even a good idea?" Jinx crept closer, concern plastered on her face and flavoring the air. "You said that your powers lashed out at every little thing when you were younger. How sure are you that the same thing won't happen again?"

"The odds are in my favor. When I was a child, my father's personality influenced my own; it is a unique trait of His people. Now that He is dead, I am the only one capable of directing my actions." Raven turned to face the woman. Please believe me. No matter what Love may say, I would rather not see your reaction should you ever discover the truth about this.

The thief looked at her a moment longer, then smiled and said, "Well, you're the closest thing to an expert there is on Azarathian emotion-splitting, so if you think this'll work and be safe, go for it. Um, you won't change too much, will you?"

"I really do not know," she sighed. "I will undergo some alteration, of course, but how much that will be is impossible to predict. The differences will be most dramatic on my nineteenth birthday, as I intend to use sympathetic magic to hasten and perhaps complete the process."

"You'll become an adult, which means your state of self will be in flux and vulnerable to outside influence? Okay, I can see how that would work. So that'll be…" Jinx trailed off and paled. "Oh, crap. I can't believe I never asked this, but when the hell is your birthday?"

"It is in a touch less than three weeks, on the first of November." She had always found it ironic that she, a half-demon, was born on All Saints' Day. "Why are you so upset?"

"One of the big things you've complained about your team is that they didn't ask that for a long time, and now you're my girlfriend and I need to get you a really nice present but I hadn't even thought to find out and —"

Raven gripped the girl's shoulders and guided her to the couch. "Calm down and breathe. We have only discussed the day of my birth in broad terms; you had no reason to know. As for you comparing yourself with the Titans, I must remind you that we have been friends for a month and in a relationship for less than half an hour, whereas they found out after living with me for three years. That is a vast difference."

"Doesn't matter, I should have asked when you said they never did. But you're right, it's nothing to get too worried about; I'll just have to throw you a great party!"

"I… I would appreciate that, actually. My team did so once, but I was turning seventeen, not Ascending. Considering what happened afterwards, I believe they now consider it an ill omen."

"Huh, you didn't tell me this story. What happened?" Jinx asked.

"My father raised one of our worst enemies from the dead as a prelude to His arrival on this planet."

The pinkette was completely still for a moment. "Okay, two things. First, when I ask a question like that, it's perfectly all right for you to tell me that I really don't want to know. Second, I'm so glad he's dead because the fact he could do that freaks me out like nobody's business."

They sat in silence for several minutes, Jinx thinking furiously if her expression was anything to judge, and Raven simply enjoying the peace and leaning against her girlfriend. Finally, the thief queried tentatively, "Last time I did something like this without telling you, I really set you off, so I was wondering if you would have a problem with me telling my team about us."

"You are certain they will not have issues with you dating a hero again?"

"Pretty sure. Gizmo's gonna be a pain about it no matter what, but that's just how he is. Baran actually likes you."

"How? I do not remember ever speaking with him."

Jinx shrugged. "You haven't seen him outside of a fight. When it's just us, he's a real 'gentle giant' sort; you know, wanting everyone to be happy and everything. Hanging out with you puts me in a good mood, and I think that's why he didn't care about our friendship even though we're supposed to be on opposite sides.

"Anyway, do you mind if I let them in on this? I don't know if I can keep it a secret from them for long."

"You have a better understanding of how they will react," Raven said after a moment. She would not be revealing their relationship to her team, but that had little impact on the H.I.V.E. boys' response to the news. "If you are convinced they will not create any problems, feel free to inform them."

"Thanks. Of course, they're probably going to want to get to know you, so you'll have to come over to our base sooner or later. I'm warning you now that Gizmo wouldn't know tact if it bit him in the ass; he might even play the 'big brother' card and ask what your intentions are for me."

"I cannot contain the sheer elation I feel at hearing that," she said in a deadpan tone.

Jinx flashed her a smile, but it soon dimmed. "Hey, Raven; when you said your emotions were out of whack, does that mean that we can't make out at all until they're back under control?"

"So long as we find and stay within my limits, we should be safe." Those were the last words either of them spoke for some time.

"Tell me again why we are waiting for Beast Boy to return," Raven requested to the room at large as they lounged on the various seats in their command center. She was technically over rather than on one as she levitated, Robin and Starfire were sharing the couch watching the television, and Cyborg had claimed one of the chairs from the kitchen. They had already whiled away the time for the past hour, and she was becoming increasingly agitated. Part of that was due to her boredom, but another factor was the increased noise her emotions were making. After she finally decided to perform the merge while she was with Jinx, the various manifestations had begun celebrating; a 'last hurrah', as Wisdom facetiously phrased it. Even Fear joined in the festivities, leaving only a disapproving Joy outside in the cold.

"We are waiting, Raven, because Friend Beast Boy told us he had a most delightful surprise in store. Surely you can participate in the twiddling of thumbs until he returns." Starfire ended the terse explanation with a dismissive sniff that sorely tempted Raven to wrap her hands around the Tamaranean's neck and shake vigorously. Instead she forced down the surge of power Rage pushed at her and attempted to relax.

The communicator in her back pocket chose that moment to vibrate. When it did not quickly stop, she knew that Jinx needed to speak with her urgently; they had agreed not to call one another unless an emergency presented itself. "I am capable of "twiddling my thumbs' as easily in my room as I am here. Cyborg, would you please message me when Beast Boy reenters the range of the Tower's cameras? I may as well use this time to meditate in peace." At his nod, she floated out of the room.

Once in her sanctum, she withdrew the still-trembling device and flipped it open. "What is the matter?" she asked without preamble.

"Hello to you, too, beautiful," Jinx retorted. "You remember when I said I'd let you know how the guys took the news about our relationship?"

Raven nodded. By the time the girls had ended their amorous liaison, both Mammoth and Gizmo had departed for a heist in a nearby city. Los Robados was not as wealthy as Jump City, but it also did not possess a team of superpowered vigilantes to capture metahuman criminals. That had been five days ago.

"Let's just say they're panicking. Gizzy's got it in his chrome domed head that this is all a plot to extract some juicy intel from me, and Baran wants us to pack our shit up and get the hell outta Dodge before the other Titans come down on us like the disc of Vishnu for 'corrupting' you. You think you can take a hop over and set 'em straight?"

"Very well. Step away from anything in your immediate vicinity; I will teleport to your psychic presence."

"Um, I don't think that's such —"

Soulself wrapping around her cut off the rest of Jinx's reply. A moment later the darkness retracted, and the first thing she saw was the brilliant red of laser-fire.

Does Jinx sound like the stereotypical "won't take no for an answer" asshole boyfriend when Raven tells her to stop, or is it just me?

I'd say I'm sorry about the cliffy, but I'd be lying ;-P

Silently Watches out.