A.N. Well here it is like I promised, a double update. Hope everyone likes it.

As always I thank my Beta, Eden. Girl you're the best mate ever.

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, you think I would need to find a job?

Enjoy

Butterfly

God

The almighty creator of our world.
The man people worship as If

There's nothing better to do.
He's a tyrant. A ruler of many minds. God

A savior of man, woman, and child.
Yet we can't see him or feel him. He Is

A king of nations. A legend.
Yet this god, this legend, is as Real

As a ghost. Invisible to sinners and
in the hearts of believers. so Why

Does he not come when we cry help?
When our families are dying. When man Did

The unspeakable. When murder became
honor. Honor became murder .When My

Country perished in the eternal flames of
lies, death, and Love

Seized to exists. There is no God. No hope.
No faith. There's just loss and pain in this
world where sooner or later we all Die.

Darkness. Pure darkness. That's what I see, every second. Every time I blink, darkness. No light what so ever. Did I suddenly go blind? No, no that
can't be it. You can feel it if your blind…right?

Maybe I'm dead. No, no I don't remember dying. I believe I would remember dying. Am I buried? Have I been buried alive? So many questions filled my
head. Questions I don't have answers too. Where can I find these answers? Are they in my head? I wouldn't know, I can't see anything, let alone know
what's in my head. Maybe (hopefully) I'm just dreaming. Yes this all a nightmare and if I pitch myself I'll wake up.

What? I can't move my arms. I can't move anything. Okay okay breath girl, breath. Well at least I can hear myself breathing. That means I'm alive. Okay
one question down, millions to go. Like where am I? How did I get here? I don't remember. I don't remember anything. Who am I? What's my name? How old am I?
For Gods sakes I need to think. But it hurts. It all hurts.

I'm numb all over. Why am I numb? Who took me? And more importantly why? Why me? Did I piss someone off so bad they decided to take me? No, no I'm a
good kid….right? I must be. Bad things always happen to good people..OW! Fuck what was that? That hurt my head. Was it a memory? Maybe. Let's think.
I saw a girl. Or was it a woman? I don't know. I don't know! I feel so empty.

Maybe I am dead.

No I have to stop thinking negative. I'll get out of here. Someone who knows me will help me. Someone has to know me right? Maybe I've never really existed.
I'm just a figment of my imagination. But then I wouldn't be anything cause if I'm not real then my imagination doesn't exists.

By God I'm going crazy

I'm a psycho girl who's tied up in the dark and has no idea who she is. Priceless. Do I have a family? Yes I must have a family. Maybe a little brother. Or a sister.
Maybe I have a dog. I like cats better. I'm a cat person. I think. Something's dripping down my arm. What is that? Water? No, no.

It's blood.

My blood. Maybe that's why everything hurts. Okay so I'm not dead and I'm bleeding. That's some improvement. My ears are ringing. You know
they say when your ears ring someone's talking about you. Which means at least someone knows me. That's a good thing. Unless they hate my guts and
want to kill me…. Man maybe I did piss someone off enough to take me.

You know what would be cool? If my dad was a cop or my mom. Either or. Then they'd have a whole swat team looking for me. Breaking down doors just to
save my sorry ass. I mean I am the one who got taken.

I wish I could remember. Remember something. Like a birthday. Or a face. Have you ever forgotten your own face? It's like looking in a mirror and not seeing
anything. Or not recognizing who your looking at. Imagine how that must feel and you'll get my drift.

Time seems frozen now. I can count seconds in my head.. 1...2...3...4.….but I never know when it's been a minute or an hour. I don't have anywhere to start.
I don't want to be here anymore. The darkness, the blood, the silence it's messing with my head. I want to go home! Why can't I go home?

Step step

What's that! Footsteps? That means someone's here. Is that good or bad?

Step step step

I can't tell. You know when you look at someone and you can read them? Well let me tell you footsteps aren't like that. You can't tell if the person is going to
kill you or save you. Please God be the second one.

Step step step step

There getting closer now. I can feel it. It's like an earthquake is shaking the ground and I'm right on top of it. I can feel myself trembling beneath the ropes.
The ropes cut my skin with every shake. Don't panic. Breath. Breath.

Step step step step step

Oh god, I'm going to die aren't I? I'm going to die not knowing who I am. Why can't I remember her beautiful face? Or his handsome features? Playing in the backyard
under the tree or swimming in the ocean.

Walking along the sand or singing a song till my throat was raw.

Step step step step step step

Have I ever been in love? As I sit here, listening to the footsteps of a person I don't know come closer I wonder about these things. Do I know what it's like to be
in love? To have a storybook romance.

Do I know what I love you means? Or are they just a bunch of words to me? I wish I could remember. Remember if I've given my whole being to be with someone.
To live for them and only them. Maybe that's why I'm here. In this darkness. Feeling numb with pain. And blood dripping down my arms. Maybe I did it for love.

But that's just wishful thinking. I'm no knight in shining armor. No, I've been burned by the dragon.

Step step step step step step step

The footsteps are almost here now. I know I must fight. Fight to remember. So let's start with the facts. Facts I know.

Number 1: I'm surrounded by darkness

step

Number 2: Whoever is coming decides my fate. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know…yet.

Step step

Number 3: The pain is my friend. I need to embrace the pain. Love the pain. Pain means I'm alive. And being alive is the most important fact of all.

The footsteps are all gone now, leaving my beating thundering heart in it's wake.

I need to get out of here. First I need to figure out how to free my arms.

Free my arms and I can free my eyes. I'm not blind. I know that. I just know. Okay okay deep breath. I can do this, if I twist my wrist right. Twist it…Twist it..

FUCK! Ow ow ow! Okay ok breath, girl, breath and pull!

Yes! It's free! Oh thank god it's free. It may be broken, but at least it's free. Now I can untie my feet. Then I can run.

Run as far away from here as I can. Then I can figure out the rest. Who I am. What I'm doing here.

Yes! Okay those are free, now it's time to see. Time to be free.

I see a room, a basement really. There's an old sink, with the faucet dripping. A washer and dryer in the corner, looks broken. One window, that's nailed shut.
And a swinging light barley flickering alive hanging above. Wait.. What's that?

Stairs! Maybe there is a God.

Ow! Fuck! My ankle is broken too! What the hell did I do to deserve all this! I'm a good person!

Right?…

Okay no, shake those bad thoughts away. No way can I afford to break down now. Alright let's do a check: I got a broken wrist and a twisted ankle.
(Not broken, thankfully) I'm in some sort of basement, with someone trying to get me. I don't know who I am or why I'm even here. I don't know anything…

Yet. I will remember. I will, let's just focus on getting out of here first. The stairs, I need to get to the stairs.

I do, painfully.

Is that all I'll ever feel? Pain? The pain of not knowing. The pain of wondering. Wishing. Hoping. Praying..

Okay stop! I can do all that later. Later after I get out of here. Alright thankfully the door isn't locked. Let's just hope there's no one behind it.

No, just a hallway. Or should I say many hallways. With the walls lined in nothing but white paint. The whole place is white. No picture no color.

Where am I? Just where the hell am I!

Wait shh. Those footsteps again. Shit! I need to go, but which hallway do I take? The footsteps are getting closer now. I need to decide.

Before it's too late.

They all look the same! Maybe they all share the same fate. The fate I don't want to share.

The footsteps are getting closer. I need to run. I need to flee.

Why can't I just be free?

Run. Run. Run as fast as you can.

"One two I'm coming for you."

Breath. Breath. Breath. Don't stop breathing.

"Three four watch your body hit the floor."

Scream. Scream. Scream till your lungs are raw.

"Five six let's play some tricks."

Pray. Pray. Pray for a God that will never come.

"Seven eight just accept your fate."

Pound. Pound. Pound on every passing door.

"Nine ten I win again."

Cry. Cry. Cry for a lover that's left you for dead.

Where is everyone! Why can't they hear me scream? There's a voice now, following me. Just like the footsteps. Mocking, taunting, will I ever win?

This just isn't fair! What did I do to deserve this? Why am I running from a voice and it's footsteps? Why do I not know who I am? What I've done in life.

Am I even alive? Or am I dead? Or worse? Maybe I'm trapped in never ending darkness, never to remember anything ever again.

No, I won't think like that. Whoever you are I won't let you win! You hear me! I won't let you win.

"Slow down Bella! Daddy can't run like he used to!"

"Come on slow poke! Mommy's not going to wait forever!"

Bella. Bella. My name is Bella? But where did that come from? Was it like a memory?

I have memories?

A small little girl is smiling up at a aging handsome man with a camera. He's laughing at the girl, making funny faces while pointing at the camera.

The girl is grown up now, along with the man. There's also a woman now. They all look sad. The man's eyes are filled with longing and regret.
The woman's with sadness. While the little girl eye's are filled with tears, that slide along her face. Gone was the smiling little girl from before.

"You'll see him again Bella. Don't worry about your father. Charlie can take care of himself."

The girl just shook her head and got into a car after the woman, staring out the window, looking back at the man as the car drove away into
the distance and away from sight.

That little girl, she was me. My name is Bella. And I have a father. Charlie. But who was the woman? Was she my mother?

I can't stop and try to figure it out now. The footsteps, they're back. How did they find me so quickly? Will I ever get a break? It's like a fucking maze here!
There's so many doors. So little time.

Can I travel in time, back to a place where I once knew?

Let me go I just want to wake up.

Can't someone get me out of here?

Can someone tell me where's my home.

Where can I find that man in the memory?

Can I be that little girl again? Smiling and so carefree? Why did this happen to me? Can I get some answers? Is this my destiny?

So many questions, so little answers. No time.

Something's chasing me here, In this place. I'm just running around, in circles.

Circles through the never ending dark. Where's the light?

Where's the exit because it's never in my sights. I don't even know where I am.

Why doesn't anyone save me! I can't be dead. The pain I feel tells me I'm alive.

Very much alive.

Is it worth being alive, yet not knowing anything but your name and a couple faces? Faces I don't recognize..

"Stop making those faces Bella. It isn't the end of the world. You'll see me again."

"It's not the same Jake. I miss you every time I go. The time seems longer and longer each visit." The boy throws an arm around the girl, it's a comforting
gesture, but the girl's frown stays in place. The boy just pulls her closer and she lays her head on his shoulder.

"It won't be long this time Bells. I promise."

Promise.. Promise.. I wonder if he ever kept that promise? I wonder If I ever made any promises. Did I promise someone the world? Did someone promise me the world?

I don't know. More questions. How long have I been here? In this place with a monster. With footsteps and a voice. Why am I here? Did I do something wrong?

Is that why no one will come? Is that why no one will save me? Is that why all those promises I must have made are now broken?

Maybe I'm the one who's broken. Opening door after door, to find nothing but another hallway. Another door. Is this place even real? Or am I just lost inside
my head. Lost in a place I can't get out.

A place no one can get in.

All these voices and footsteps and faces. What do they mean?

What do they mean?

"What do you mean you want to move back with your father?"

"It's just that this is my last year of high school and I haven't seen Charli-I mean dad in a while."

"You sure you want this? You know me and Phil will miss you so much."

"I know mom, but I want this. I really do."

"Alright. I'll call your father in the morning."

"Thanks mom."

Mom. Mom. Mom. Will I ever see you again? Will I ever recognize your face? Remember your voice? Will I ever hug you again? Do you still miss me?

Does anyone miss me?

Do I have anyone to miss?

"Don't forget to call and email everyday."

"I know mom, I know. Don't worry. I'll miss you too."

I do mom. I miss you. Please come save me. Will no one save me? Soon I'll be nothing. I'll be gone. But then what?

Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell?

Some one save me soon, please. I don't think I can save myself. There's just so many doors. So many hallways. So many faces. So many footsteps.

Only one voice.

Is that why no matter how loud I scream no one can hear me? Because I'm the only one here?

Is the voice I hear my own? Are the footsteps I hear just an echo of my own?

No the voice is too soft, to sweet, to angel like to be mine. Maybe that's what it is, an angel, coming to save me. To set me free.

To let me be me once again.

I don't know! I don't know! I'm tired. Tired of running. Tired of everything. It's all just so.. new..

"Your Isabella right? Chief swans daughter? The new girl."

"Uhh yea.. Actually it's Bella."

"Well Bella, I'm Mike. Nice to meet you."

"Yea you too. I better get to class now, bye Mike."

"Oh hey wait! You should hang out with me and my friend at lunch. Yea?"

"Uh sure. Bye."

"See you later Bella!"

Will I ever seem him, Mike, later? Will I ever see anyone I used to know later?

Will I even have a later?

A group of kids were sitting at a table, laughing and messing around. There were 6 of them. Three girls and three guys. One girl had glasses and a book,
seeming lost in her own world. Another had brown blonde hair, talking so fast and staring at one of the boys. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. While the
others had black hair and brown eyes. The last girl looked out of place. With her brown hair flowing around her shoulders, her pale skin and deep brown eyes.
She looked lost and new.

Just then a door opened and in came the five most beautiful people anyone has ever seen. Two girls and three guys. One guy had short brown hair and a body
that most men dreamed of having. Another one looked as if he was in pain, shaggy hair fell in front of his eyes, shielding him from people. The last guy looked
bored, but wore an amused smile, as if he could read the thoughts of everyone in the room. One girl had blonde hair and a glare that could send the toughest
guy running to mommy. The other girl, however, was the definition of goddess. With black spikey hair that shouted I know I'm hot and a smile that would turn anyone to jello.

"Who are they?" The out of place girl asked.

"Them? Oh they're the Cullen's." The book worm said.

"Yea they are like all adopted and like all together, together." The blond brown headed girl said with a look of disgust on her face.

"Don't listen to Jess, she's just mad that Edward," The bored looking one, "Turned her down."

The girl huffed and when back at staring at the blonde blue eye girl. While the bookworm rolled her eyes.

" The guys are Emmet the big guy, Jasper the one who looks like he's in pain, and Edward. The blonde girl is Rosalie and the spikey pixie one is Alice."

"Alice…."

Alice. Alice. I know that name! I do I swear. It sounded so familiar. So real. Like I've said it a thousand times.

I know that name. I know Alice….

" So tell me, how does one become a vampire exactly?"

"It's a painful process love, one that I wouldn't wish on anyone. You see being a vampire is like having a disease running through your body. Instead of blood,
we have venom running in our veins. That venom gives us life, but is also the cause for our thirst. To turn someone into a vampire, you would bite them and
release the venom into their bloodstream. Then wait."

"That's it?"

"It's not as simple as it sounds Bell, it's very painful. The transformation of replacing the blood with the venom can be long or short. It all depends on if your
body fights it or not. Some may take hours, some days, it all depends."

"So your saying it all depends on whether the person receiving the venom wants it or not?"

"Well when you put it that way, yes."

"I see.."

"The answer is no Bella."

"I don't know what your talking about."

"I can see your brain working, I'm not changing you into a vampire."

"I never said you had to Alice."

Alice, who are you to me? Are you a lover? Or something else entirely? Will you save me from this place? I don't care if you're a vampire, or a zombie, or whatever.
Just save me, please. You called me love, so does this mean that you love me? If you do then where are you?

Why are you not here with me?

Whatever the reason, I will find you. I will find Charlie. I will find Jake. My mother, Mike, Jess, and all the others. I will find you.

Before I lose myself.

Tick tock
The clock rings
I don't have the answers
To the questions I seek

These voices
Inside my head
They invade my thoughts
I'm filled with dread

Will I get out of this place?
Will I remember her face?
This person who loves me
A vampire, where is my reality?

My time runs thin
I feel my throat closing in
I can't breath
The air is thick

Why does the clock
Always seem to tick?

I can't do this, I've ran out of time. So many memories filled my mind. My name is Bella. That's the least I know. I have a lover, who I might never see again.
I'm tired of opening so many doors. Tired of not finding a way out.

Tears run down my face, but I do not cry. If I am meant to die here in this place I will die with my head held high. I shall show this monster, that I won't give him
what he wants. I shall not scream. No matter the cost.

Some might say I am a fool, for giving up so easily. But they don't know how it feels to be trapped inside your head. The place you think your safe.
The place no one can come in. I might die a fool, but at least I'm not living one.

I feel tired now. So very tired. I will just lay down now. It's time to rest my head. To think back and remember all the blood I have shed. To the people
I have forgotten and the lover I know I've left behind do not cry for me. Do not give in to the monsters wishes. Show him he's not that strong. Show him
he will never win again. Show him love beats all. And that he is just a sin.

Can you see it? I can, the light up ahead. It's warm on my skin. It's so bright, it burns my eyes.

Charlie, my father don't look so beat up.

Mother, don't miss me anymore.

Jake, don't make promises you can't keep.

Alice, my angel do not weep.

The light, it's calling me in. You all should know that I do not wish to die, but sometimes, the monster wins.

Love

The word everyone wishes to
hear. Everyone wishes to speak. There

Is no better feeling, than that of
love. To be one with another. Is

Love worth the pain? Worth
the blood that's shed. No

Love is worth far more than blood
love is worth life. It's worth death. Love

Don't you see? I will never blame you.
I only blame me. Love tell me Where

Did you go? When the monster came
out to play. When he came out to feast. The

Monster does not love. It does not feel.
The monster is the devils voice. A voice of Darkness

That stays in your head. Don't cry for me
Love. I understand now. I should have
Seen the mask. I should have seen the signs.
It's my own fault I was caught in a love of Lies.

So remember
As the light starts to fade
I'm the one who took the road
That followed the butterfly.

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