A/N: I can't believe I first published this story three years ago this month, and it's taken this long to get to their reunion.
I began writing this in September of 2008, right after I read all of the Twilight novels for the first time, a month after Breaking Dawn had been published. I remember that I wrote non-stop for two weeks, the story of that is in my profile I believe. I've had the reunion written since those first two weeks, but life has a strange way of tearing you away from things, and I suppose everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't been constantly distracted then the small epiphanies that occured along the way to build this into what it has become wouldn't have happened.
One of the very last chapters to this story is where it all started, I suppose it's the main epiphany, and I'll let you know when we get there, so until then...
Here it is, the reuinion.
I believe, due to the title 'Mirrors,' I should tell you that Justin Timberlake's song "Mirror" has been in my head, because it describes Bella and Edward so well, but...
Placebo's "Running Up That Hill" is definitely the track for this chapter.
Also...'Hope Shines Here' has over 200+ reads and 1 review? What's up with that? Hey, you lurkers, yeah you...why aren't you reviewing?
Me: *Glares at Edward*
Edward: *Looks shocked* What?
Me: Oh, don't 'what' me. You know 'what'.
Edward: Actually, I don't.
Me: You're a pain in the ass to write…that's 'what'. *Mumbles* Stupid, depressing vampire. No wonder no one is reviewing now.
Edward: Um…sorry?
Me: *Glares*
Edward: Oh, come on! I said I was sorry.
Me: You don't look sorry. Jerk.
Edward: *scowling*
Me: Don't look at me like that.
Edward: Then get to the part where I see Bella again.
Me: I am! Don't get your undead panties in a wad, okay? Besides, you over think everything, so it's your fault that it took me so long to write, not mine.
Edward: *grumbles* Touché. *Turns to the person reading this* Hey, you! Review so she'll quit picking on me. Pleeeeease?
Mirrors
My connection to Edward was something untouchable—like my shield, it hummed around me invisibly. But the aftershock of the moment when I had lived through him was like an avalanche of knowledge…and pain, descending upon me with the crushing weight of its illumination. I was not the same person I had been before that moment, as my thoughts were once again my own. Something ripped me back into myself, and I felt like I was breaking the surface after being submerged in water for a long period of time. I gasped for air, my lungs expanding, but there was no relief in that cool gulp of oxygen as it permeated my lungs—I needed more. Something strange had happened to me, something that was beyond comprehension, a strange truth settling through me. I felt it deep within the muscles of my body, flowing through my veins—it prickled along my scalp and along my skin. I was…aware.
I needed Edward.
It had only been a few immeasurable moments since his emotions and memories had flowed through me but I felt exhausted from the flood of his memories, from the years of unending pain compressed into one violent stream of consciousness. Now here we were—two halves of a whole—barely out of reach. I felt suddenly sick and hollow, aching from the absence of his presence—for the first time feeling the full weight of nearly seventeen years apart. I sucked in a harsh breath as my mind reeled, my thoughts spiraling out of control. I had never truly understood anything until that moment. I dimly recalled the words of the others who stood just out of my line of sight behind me—the people I loved more than words could ever explain—but their words were shadows of the truth, vague inclinations of what they had seen and heard, but their words hadn't prepared me for this, nothing they could have said would have, because there were no words for this horror.
In the instant that my mind had jumped into his, I had involuntarily locked down my shield, cutting them all off from the memories that had flowed through me, but my weak human body couldn't handle the strain, my knees buckled, and I collapsed against the tree, falling to the forest floor as I braced as hard as I could to hold my shield intact. My body may have failed but my shield could not, it was the one thing that I had to retain control over.
"Bella!" It was Alice's voice whispering very low, she was at my side, reaching out for me. I moaned, my head falling limply backwards to thud against the base of the tree as I peered up at her with beneath hooded lids. "What happened?"
I rolled my eyes to hers, pressing my lips tightly together. I wasn't even sure that I could speak out loud even if I had wanted to. I had to focus harder than ever before to make her hear me. "Don't speak out loud. I don't want him to hear us." Even my inner voice sounded out of breath. "I'm okay—I'll be okay at least. I'll explain later." I pleaded with my eyes for her to trust me. She didn't move at first, but then she gave a quick nod before once again disappearing from view.
The memory of Edward's hallucination haunted me as I recalled my own delusional version of him—the one that my mind had created during those months without him, after he had left me. He and I were one and the same—even our insanity mirrored each other's. As that memory shimmered above my vision I realized in terror that those months without him had merely been the prelude—just the beginning of what I would have suffered had I lost Edward in the way that he had lost me, because Edward's pain had manifested that loss to its fullest.
We were mirror images, reflecting the path of our lives within each other. Had things been reversed, his pain would have been mine…exactly. I wished in that moment that I had the power to take his place, to take his pain into myself and spare him from what he had suffered.
I tried to think past the aftershock of pain that was still shaking me and focus. I had called out to him, and he had paused, but he wasn't moving. With horror, I realized that due to what had occurred during his last hallucination of me, he was fighting against the urge to follow my voice—doubt and pain clouding the truth. Panic seared me, and I gathered all the strength and pushed on shaky legs to stand again.
He had to come. I had to make him see. I had to fix what I had done to us.
I clenched my jaw and screamed his name again—panic and blinding need—fear and my all-consuming love for him in my voice.
I felt his head turn in our direction. I could almost feel his agony-filled golden eyes piercing me. He had to know, some part of him, deep down, he had to believe.
A sob lodged in my throat.
I'm here, Edward, I'm here!
I felt it when my voice broke—the balance of the tipping point in his restraint, as his body twisted at the sound, and he was suddenly flying towards us. I felt the others instantly go still, as they listened to the sound of something that I was unable to detect. My heart thudded once, loudly in my chest and then seemed to stop all together. It was the realization suddenly that he was there, barely fifty feet from me after seventeen years, which propelled my heartbeat into rapid flight again. I was dizzy from the rush, feeling my shield flex slightly as I almost lost control. My fingers dug into the bark of the tree, I steeled myself, sucking in a quick breath, and listened. There was nothing at first, and then I heard it, the softest murmur.
"Edward." It was Carlisle's voice. I shifted my shield so that I could see what he was seeing, and I nearly gasped when his vision blurred into focus over my eyes.
Edward stood frozen a small distance away from the rest of them, a feral gleam in his wide golden gaze, face frenzied and full of anguish, the soft purplish bruises beneath his eyes more pronounced than before.
"No…" His lips fluttered but his voice was barely loud enough even for their ears to hear.
"Edward, what—"
His words were cut off when Edward's voice whispered desperately, "She was here—I heard her." There was a hysterical edge to his words as his gaze swept the seven of them, he didn't even react when his eyes locked on Renesmee before sliding them back to meet Carlisle's. I felt my heart pick up its pace in my chest. "She came back," he murmured. "Didn't you hear her? I have to find her…one last time…before…" His words trailed of as something made him stiffen before he swallowed. "She said she wasn't coming back—she said good-bye." I knew that without having witnessed Edward's memories themselves, they didn't understand his meaning. They knew that I had called out to him, but they had only heard me scream his name so to them his words made no sense. "But she came back, she did, I heard her!" His eyes became unfocused then, darting frantically into the trees surrounding us, and then over his shoulder.
"Edward, who are you talking about?" Carlisle murmured.
Edward turned, his eyes slamming into Carlisle's. "Bella."
Carlisle exchanged worried glances with the others for a brief second before his eyes slid back to take in Edward's harrowing expression of panic.
"I'll explain later," I dropped my shield long enough to think to them all. "Just keep him talking, don't give him time to think."
"Edward, we need you to listen—" Carlisle began but Edward's voice lashed out.
"You don't understand! She needs me," Edward croaked. "She screamed for me, like she did before." The hysterical edge to his voice was rising higher. "She needs me. I have to find her. I need to say good-bye—I didn't get to say good-bye." His voice cracked. "I have to find her and tell her that I love her. I have to find her."
Carlisle raised his hands carefully. "Edward, calm down."
I saw through Carlisle's eyes as Edwards's fingers reached up to grip his hair in tight fists as he began pacing before them, staring at the ground. "I heard her!" he shrieked suddenly, making the others jump as he shifted his weight. "She screamed my name! She was here—she was in my head. I heard her in my head!" He was shaking his head from side to side as he paced. "She said she was here. She said—"
Suddenly, he stilled and a peculiar look crosses his face as his gaze rose slowly to meet Carlisle's. "Why are all of you here?"
"We can explain," Carlisle began carefully taking a step forward but he froze when Edward took a mirroring step backwards.
"Why can't I hear what you're thinking?" There was fear in his tone.
"Edward…" I could hear the warning in Carlisle's voice.
Edward's eyes flew wide and his mouth fell open in horror. "You're not real either," he whispered and confusion filled me. "But, I don't remember dying."
He wasn't making any sense even to me anymore.
"Oh Edward, calm down, you're not dead." I could hear the tale-tell tone of Alice rolling her eyes as she flitted to his side and reached out to smack him lightly in the back of his head. I was so shocked that my mouth fell open with an almost audible pop. "See, you felt that, you're very much alive," she muttered, her hands going to her tiny hips as she fixed him a hard stare.
His nostrils suddenly flared and then his eyes narrowed at her as his hands fell to his sides into fists and a growl rumbled from two separate places at once. One was Edward and the other was Jasper.
"You took it." The accusation in his tone was frightening.
"Took what?" She took a step backwards.
"The ring, Alice!" He growled menacingly as he began taking a step towards her, but Jasper was suddenly between them shielding Alice with his body. Edward froze and leaned around him to meet her gaze. "Bella's ring." He glared blackly at her."It's gone." His voice was haunted then and I knew that things were getting out of control. "It's gone. It's all gone," He whispered as his entire body went still, his eyes becoming unfocused. "She's gone."
"No, Edward—" She began but I knew I had to stop her.
"Alice, Jazz, back away from him, now." I thought to them urgently. "He's unstable right now, arguing is only going to make it worse, just give him some space, please."
They complied slowly, Jasper moving with her, only allowing her to step out from behind him once they were a safe distance away.
"I did take it, Edward, but it's not what you think," Alice said her voice very soft. "It needed to be polished," she lied smoothly, "I was going to have the cottage ready for you when you returned, but I didn't know that you would be back so soon." God, I loved her. She was brilliant.
Edward blinked at her for a long moment before his eyes slid back to Carlisle's and what I saw in them shocked me…he was giving up.
"It doesn't matter anymore," he whispered.
Doesn't matter? My eyes went wide. Oh, no you don't Edward Cullen. You are not giving up on me yet.
"Carlisle…" I thought to him in warning.
"Edward, I know that this all must be very confusing to you, but would you please give us the chance to explain?" he murmured carefully but Edward began shaking his head.
"There's no point in explaining, Carlisle," he whispered.
"It's about Bella."
Edward stilled, his body turning to frozen marble instantly and my heart began thumping again in my chest.
"What about, Bella?" His voice was cold; all traces of the emotion he'd displayed had vanished, but it made my chest tighten with every word all the same. His voice was still like cool silk on heated skin rubbing its way up inside of me. "When you said that I needed to come home…" He trailed off unfocused for a moment but then he inhaled sharply, his chest heaving before his eyes narrowed. "What is this all about, Carlisle? There's something you're keeping from me." Edward's tone was apprehensive—it was not the way he normally spoke, it hurt to hear it, it was almost physically painful to absorb the words as he spoke them. "Something's different…" he murmured. "I can sense it, in all of you, something's changed." There was an underlying current of suspicion to his voice. Edward was never this distrustful, never this bitter. What had I done to him? Oh, God forgive me. I almost felt him flinch. Had he heard me? If he did, he didn't seem to recognize my mental whisper.
Carlisle spoke, sounding very diplomatic. "I told you when we spoke on the phone that something has happened."
"Yes…but you we're quite vague in your explanation. Do you mind telling me what it is, that I seem to be missing in all of this?" Edward asked politely shifting then, straightening, but it was a ruse—the manners, the suddenly well controlled words—they were the lie. He was going numb. "Since obviously, I can't read your mind." He almost sounded surprised, almost. "Why is that?" He tilted his head in question.
"Edward…" Esme began carefully and Edward's eyes slid to hers. "Whatever Carlisle told you—whatever he didn't tell you rather, there was a reason," she whispered.
"And what, pray tell, can that be?" He was so…cold, detached. It made me feel lifeless.
"Ask whatever else you wish, but we cannot tell you that." Esme sighed. "We can't even begin to assume how you might react; it's not our place to explain, we need you to just listen—"
"This…vagueness is becoming quite irritating." He ground out suddenly making me swallow hard. Esme, he'd used that tone with, Esme. This was bad. This was very, very bad.
"Please, don't be angry with us." Esme's voice whispered, she sounded sad.
"I should be," he muttered. "The prodigal son returns and his family welcome's him with secrets? Why would that possibly anger me?" There was sarcasm there. He was being deliberately impolite, and that wasn't like him at all. Was any part of the man I loved left inside of him, or was it gone forever? I closed my eyes.
"Edward…" Emmet interjected. "Just let us explain-"
"Then explain quickly please…my patience is wearing quite thin at this very moment," he said through clenched teeth.
"When we came back, to Forks, we had no idea this was going to happen, please believe us." Rosalie began. "If we had known sooner, this all could have been avoided-"
"You had no idea that what was going to happen?" he spat.
"Just listen—" Carlisle began.
"I am listening!" Edward snarled loudly. "But none of you are saying anything! You're speaking in riddles, being evasive and careful!" I was shaking suddenly, my whole body vibrating with fear, as a slight throbbing began inside my head. "You're keeping something from me, and I want to know what it is!" I clenched my jaw trying to hold onto the line of control in myself, in all of them. Why wasn't Jasper helping me out? "I don't like whatever game it is that you're trying to play Carlisle."
"This…is not a game." There was a hard edge to Carlisle's voice now. "This is a matter of life and death." There was silence for a long moment.
"Vampires do not dwell on matters of life and death, we are not alive and we are not dead as we should be." There was venom in Edward's words, poisonous blackness.
"But humans are." Alice finally spoke, in her natural trilling voice, but it shook, betraying her emotions. "Tell me that no human has ever made you fear matters of life and death and I'll put you in front of a mirror and show you a liar." There was that silence again.
"Is that what this is?" His voice did sound surprised this time. "This whole ploy to lure me back to Forks under the pretense of attending school here again, was simply to remind me of her?" There was definite anger in his voice now.
"No—" Alice tried to respond but he cut her words away.
"No?" He sounded haughty now. "Am I imagining then, that you didn't meet me here, simply to welcome me home, but to force me to stay?" He spat harshly. "That you have finally decided to ignore my wishes to be left alone?" He was growing angrier with every word, and there was a sudden throbbing behind my eyes and beneath my scalp. "Well it took you long enough, I wondered when you would all turn on me and—"
"Stop it!" Esme cut harshly, her voice breaking. "You know that's not true," she whispered. "Why would you say things like that?" Her voice sounded hurt, and the throbbing continued, fiercer this time.
"How can you ask me that?" he asked, his voice shaking, so void of everything except silent disbelief that it astounded me. "If you all aren't involved in some master conspiracy to torture me, then what…is…this?" He hissed the last words distinctly as his arm jutted out to point one long lean finger in Renesmee's direction.
"You're her father, and she wanted to be here to see you," Rosalie railed angrily. "Besides, I thought you were past this stupidity," she spat.
"I'll go if you want me to Dad," Renesmee whispered dejectedly and for a moment I stilled, my heart lurching in my chest. I felt him flinch again; the air seemed to snap around his tension like gravity.
"That is…not necessary, Renesmee." He was forcing the words, he feigned politeness as least for her, but still…the discomfort in his voice was there. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek as the throbbing in my head started to ache. "Please…stay." He strained with the effort.
"Will you calm down and listen to us now?" Jasper asked.
"What exactly…am I going to be listening to?" Edward said it with such soft aggravation, that I realized that Jasper was trying his best to calm him, and it wasn't working.
"We know you're confused." Carlisle began. "We know things are happening that you don't understand, we're just trying to help you, to explain—"
"You haven't experienced what I did tonight!" Edward hissed.
"We know," Carlisle stated calmly.
"How can you?" Edward asked wildly.
"That's why I told you that you needed to come home," Carlisle reasoned. "The things that are happening—"
"You don't know what has happened to me tonight!" Edward accused coldly. "You don't know what I've been through—"
"We do!" Alice interjected.
"No." Edward's voice was icy and blank. "You have no idea, you couldn't have even predicted what demons I would be faced with, only moments ago it seems," he ground out.
"If you don't believe that we understand, then tell us!" She hissed angrily. He paused for a moment, and I blinked, trying to beat back the growing ripples of pain that were swirling in my head.
"It's like I'm…losing…myself…my grasp on reality." He moaned breathlessly. "I'm seeing things that shouldn't be there." He breathed. "I'm hearing voices that are haunting me, calling to me." My head was pounding. "Not even voices, just one. I hear my name, and it's her voice!" His voice was so thick with raw pain, I thought I would choke, I could almost taste it. His name was muffled in my head, far away, and I groaned inwardly and rolled my head limply to the side, as my mind fell over and the pounding in my head fully broke through, cold air suddenly washing over my face, blinding pain dulling my senses as I tried to hold on. "I even smelled her scent, I can smell it right now, and it burns through my body like the first time I was close to her!" he screamed. My eyes flew wide.
"We know…" Carlisle tried to comfort him. "We understand—"
"No!" Edward lashed out, cutting the air into silence, only his voice ringing in the dark. "You cannot even begin to comprehend my torture!" He almost whimpered the words harshly, before his voice was blazing wildly. "And something tells me, that you all knew something like this would happen to me, when you asked me to come home!" He continued to rail and suddenly I felt the thin wire of my tension break, as my whole being fell into his again. I'd been trying too hard I realized, to control his emotions and my own unconsciously, I hadn't taken into account how strong his would be, how in tune I was to him. My face felt numb, my limbs were heavy, and my head was immersed in irritating pressure. The sticky web of my own body was clearing, and the sound was being sucked back into my ears as if I'd just surfaced from the depths of dark water. It was sharp and desperate; quick repetitive beats in my head, beneath my skin, pulsing down my throat. It was my heart, screaming in my chest. Edward's heart couldn't beat, but mine could, and it was beating, as if it were his suddenly, and I suddenly heard through his ears, saw through his eyes, felt the deep cataclysmic fissure of his hollow shell filling with the only thing he had left. Rage.
My eyes flew open so quickly, I hadn't realized that I'd squeezed them shut. When the world focused, I couldn't see the desolate forest spread out darkly before me, I saw Edward's thoughts, his memories, through his eyes I saw the tainted meaningless existence he lived alone before they'd found him again, always in the dark, forever shunning the light.
A scream built in my own throat just as it did in his, but a pale face flashed sharply like silver and glass glinting in the sun and caught his attention and he was frozen in horror. Bella. Images flew at warped speed through our minds. So much blood, wide red eyes, an ashen face, tears, a last kiss held within a final gaze, flickering flames, the stone walls, dead. Tears welled in my eyes as he remembered. Dead. Gone. Forever. There were no words as it finally rose out of him, anger that was uncontrollable, and grief too overwhelming to handle as he fisted his hands into his wild bronze hair, before twisting sharply around, swinging blindly into a tree, too upset by things neither of us understood, things that made no sense in our world. The tall cedar crashed with the sharp sound of cracking wood against the forest floor as he covered his face to scream, scream until it hurt, until he could feel as if things in his throat were bursting, until I thought I would explode too.
He calmed, slowly by degrees, and I had to remind myself to breathe evenly. Even as I tried to listen, through his ears and my own, I squeezed my eyes tightly against the tears and turned my face to the side to breathe as I gasped silently, raw stinging chunks of air sliding down my throat. "You knew." He whispered turning back to look at the others.
"We didn't know how to warn you, how to explain it best," Carlisle whispered.
There it was again, that tense silence. "You should have just left me alone," Edward whispered.
"Why would we honestly do that?" Rosalie spat. "Let you wallow in your self-pity and grief?" She snorted. "Right."
"It's so easy to understand," he murmured sucking in a slow shuddering breath and I felt part of us calm and almost die all over again when he turned his head to the side and met her eyes. I was blinking back tears, as one slid from the corner of my eye and down to my lips, just as his would have done if he'd been able to. "The best part of me is missing, my reason for everything," he said softly. "It's not only that I can't face the world without her." He closed his eyes. "It's that I don't even want to try anymore." He exhaled slowly. "I should have just died." I almost choked.
"No one is asking you to face anything, no one is asking you to live or die." Alice assured him. "We're only asking you to listen. You need to listen." There was silence finally and I relaxed slightly, closing my eyes.
Then I heard it.
Jasper said the words that broke everything wide open. "You know, Bella wouldn't want you to be like this."
I felt something harsh jerk inside of Edward. Something full of disbelief and rage boiled up within him with the fact that he was using that point as leverage. Edward's eyes snapped to him. This was bad, very, very bad. A snarl of rage ripped the air suddenly and Edward collided into Jasper, like the sound of two large boulders crashing together cracked the air. Slamming him backwards so harshly that the actual rock he shoved him into fractured and crumbled from the pressure of their bodies hitting hit. Jasper's eyes were wide, his mouth frozen into a silent 'o', the other's watching in unspoken horror as Edward's face darkened before reaching out to grab Jasper by the collar, taking him by surprise, dragging him over so that he could transfer his weight into one of the farthest tress from where I stood. He slammed him so hard that weaker branches gave way and tumbled down around them, but carefully enough so that the tree still stood. Edward lifted him, until Jasper was on his toes, his hands grasping Edward's wrists for support.
"How dare you say that to me?" Edward screamed into his face. "How dare any of you try to presume you know what it is that I need to hear or know or do." He kept his eyes on Jasper who was still shocked to silence. "How dare any of you presume to know what it is that I feel—what I should feel!" he shouted. "How dare any of you try to pretend that you ever loved her even remotely as much as I did!" I could feel Jasper take that as window of opportunity, cluing me in that he'd mean to rile Edward in that way. The others, obviously already knew that, hence the reason they hadn't stopped him. Well, hell, evidently my control was in shambles.
"Did?" Jasper raised a brow challengingly and I felt Edward's rage climb, pulling Jasper forward before slamming him back again, the loud snap of a dozen more tiny branches was heard as they broke lose to litter the forest floor around them.
"Do!" Edward corrected snarling. "Always will!" he screamed again. "What do you all want from me?" He pleaded with eyes that would be fighting the onslaught of tears if they were able. "The only thing I lived for in this wretched existence is gone!" He growled. "So why do you all feel the need to attack me for grieving because of it?" I could barely see through the film a tears filling my eyes, unbroken, holding on the brim of my lids, as he ground out the words. "Why can't you just let me suffer? Why can't I be allowed to accept my punishment? What's so wrong about not wanting to exist without her, but being too selfish to just let her go?" His arms lowered slightly but he still held on, pleading with him, his voice fading with every word he spoke, along with his grip on Jasper. "Why can't you all see…if I died…there would be nothing for me then…my selfishness is my punishment…if I exist…at least I have my memories…that's all I have left of her," he whispered, the remains of his anger bleeding away as our connection burst and broke away. I was trembling suddenly from the aftermath of knowing the full weight of his grief. I heard them both shift slowly. A flash of Edward's face buried against Jasper's chest as he held him—sobbing tearless cries—burst in a white vision as the last remains of our connection faded like a dream and I was once again seeing fleeting images through Carlisle's eyes.
Oh Edward…Forgive me. I begged and the second I did I squeezed my eyes tighter, knowing that he'd heard me. His head must have snapped up as he turned to face the others.
"Who is that?" Edward snarled loudly. He was angry now. Just as someone was about to answer, the wind shifted, ruffling my hair slightly carrying my scent with it and I felt the air freeze just then. "What…is…this?" he hissed, and my heart pounded in my chest, loudly enough that it thrummed through the air like a drum.
Renesmee's heart beat would disguise my own, but just barely, if it had been anybody else, it might have worked. Maybe. But Edward knew my heart, dead and silent or wild and alive—he knew my blood—and my body. Yet…he was still denying the truth even as his own acknowledgement presented it to him in a gift wrapped box. I knew what he was experiencing now, my own awareness was heightened. The thirst was ravaging his throat, burning his nostrils, and the sound of my pulse was almost tangible on his tongue. Venom pooled in his mouth. I could feel when he took a step forward—just as I watched—toward the sound of my erratic heart, because the air suddenly shifted with tension and everyone suddenly moved.
"Don't," Emmett warned. They were all blocking his path to me. Renesmee had taken a step back, closer to the tree that I had suctioned myself to, and Edward's eyes narrowed, noticing what she had done.
"And you wondered why I assumed masterful deception?" Edward's voice was callous and black again. "What is this, if not an ambush on my free will, to force whatever pain upon me, that whatever you're hiding will inflict?" He sounded so pained and betrayed suddenly.
"You don't understand," Carlisle whispered softly.
"What?" The sound of his sharp voice jerked me and I opened my eyes mirroring the pain in his voice. "What is it that I don't understand?" He breathed so helplessly. "Tell me Father." Edward spat the word harshly.
"I'm trying to tell you…" Carlisle strained.
"So, tell me!" Edward railed. "Because you know what I think?" I blinked and saw a flash of Edward as he tilted his head to the side in calm contemplation. "I think it's you who doesn't understand." He snarled. "That I don't want to see anything that reminds me of her." He hissed violently. "That I don't want to talk to anyone who wants to try and fix me." He railed "You, don't understand." He breathed harshly. "Part of me can't live with only a ghost of her." He whispered. "And part of me doesn't want to be healed—part of me doesn't want this pain to end." I barely heard him then, and I braced myself for the oncoming words, but nothing could fully prepare me. "I…just…want…to die," he said through clenched teeth and as I blinked back my tears I saw the drowning, burning defeated look in his topaz gaze, and that was the end of my restraint, I couldn't watch him suffer anymore, if I did, I would die. I blinked and I was once again seeing solely through my own vision.
"Please, don't…say that," I whispered brokenly, but my voice had the same effect as the crack of a loud whip would have. I drew in a deep breath, blocking out the world, focusing only on Edward's thoughts. I heard nothing…there was nothing in him, barely a flicker of life. No other thought was left in him after that confession.
I felt my body, tense against the trunk of the tree before I stepped away and silence enveloped the enclosure. I pulled myself farther away and turned—I could feel his attention slide to the movement he heard coming from where I was. My heart sped and my eyes welled with tears as I turned, pivoting slowly around, stepping slowly from behind my stalwart cover, until one by one, each of the Cullen's became visible, their faces looking at me with mixtures of horror and sorrow and shock. I took step, by slow aching, step forward, as the others stepped away from my path, parting the world between us and then…there he was, standing perfectly in a beam of moonlight.
His pale perfect skin was translucent, light glinting off his untamed bronze hair, his dark bloodless lips, parted so perfectly. My eyes locked with his and there was nothing else as my heart skipped a beat. His topaz gaze was wide, focused solely on me…the world bleeding away, seeing only me, and in turn all I could see was him—flashes of images of his face, staring at me from the alter, as he waited for me at the end of the stretch of space that seemed too far away. He His face wasn't the shocked horror that had been etched across countless human expressions when he finally saw me—it was torture, agony, the deepest facet of pain and grief that ever existed.
I finally found my voice again, but it sounded a bit hysterical. "Wouldn't that be some irony?" My smirk of amusement was in place across my lips, my brows furrowed in my attempt to withstand the pressure filling my chest. "You think I'm dead when of course…" I rolled my eyes trying to fill them with mirth, trying to act calm when my insides were turning into a quivering jumbled mess. "I'm really not." His face didn't change—he was still a perfect statue as I continued slowly forward. "Then you do something drastic and then, when I wake up, the only reason I had to not give in and die, the only thing that saved me in the first place from dying…would be dead?" I crinkled my nose in a look of abhorrence. "Doesn't that sound familiar to you?" I murmured teasingly. "I think we've been through this before." I smiled. Still nothing. It was as if he were frozen in place. I felt the others follow me with their eyes as I passed them but I didn't look away as I took a few more shaky steps. "It makes me want to smack Bill Shakespeare upside the head for giving people dumb ideas." I tried a halfhearted smile, but it was weak. "Typical Romeo and Juliet, what a joke." I shook my head then my face softened before I stilled and a small smile bloomed. "I guess I shouldn't have made you watch it so many times." I frowned taking another step forward. "Considering your tendency to steer towards the dramatics," I breathed and when I was close enough to almost touch him, staring up into his eyes, my vision from earlier came true. He collapsed to his knees before me.
I stared down at him, and it was as if I knew what to do. I took one step closer, and reached out, slowly, with all the courage, and all the longing desire and adoration I had for him, he went rigid just before I touched his face with trembling fingertips. When I felt the coolness of his skin, his entire being sagged beneath my touch, as if relieved—as if whatever life was left in him evaporated, but he still stared up at me with those impossibly wide, impossibly beautiful golden eyes, accentuated by the light of the moon.
"I'm so glad…" I whispered. "…that right now I can say my favorite gemstone…is topaz," I murmured. "Because if it were onyx, it would mean that I wouldn't be able to see…how beautiful, you're eyes still are to me." I whispered, and he made a small noise deep in his chest, a soft moan of agony. "You're not even smiling and you're dazzling me." He hadn't moved at all, he was still beneath my touch, as my eyes flickered between his gaze and his parted lips.
My fingers trailed down, across the smooth expanse of his alabaster cheek, tracing the curve of his jaw, until they brushed gently against his stone lips. "Seventeen years…" I whispered. "And a whole lifetime later, and I'm still in danger…of falling even more completely and undeniably in love with you than ever." His lips trembled slightly, his cool breath against my fingertips. I drew my eyes away from his lips, back to his eyes, they were so soft now, raw, and it made my heart ache terribly. "Edward…" Tears suddenly welled in my eyes, blurring my vision, as my voice cracked, choking off as I said his name. I blinked refusing to miss a moment of his face, and the tears spilled free, as I traced my fingers back across his cheek, higher, letting them smooth against the silken strands of bronze at his temple.
"I'm so sorry…" I sobbed suddenly. "I'm so very sorry…I never meant…I didn't know what else to do." I choked on the words as they became caught in my throat. His brows furrowed in confusion, but the fixated expression of desperation never left his eyes. "Even if I had been able to kill Zachary," I whispered. "The thirst was too strong for me to overcome, I would have killed her." I heard someone behind me suck in a sharp breath but I ignored it. Edward didn't seem to have heard it. "Our daughter, I would have killed her." I said it stronger, trying to make him understand. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had." I whispered. "I wouldn't have been able to forgive you if you'd let me." His face changed, very slowly, finally registering what I was speaking of it seemed.
"Edward…" I choked with tears in my voice as the quaking in my knees suddenly caused them to collapse. Before I had barely moved, cold hands moved at blinding speed, and long pale fingers gripped my waist, lowering me gently. As if I were floating, he slowly lowered me to my knees, until I was staring up instead of down, into his drowning gaze, which followed me along every inch of my descent. "I'm so sorry," My voice cracked again. "I'm so sorry I left you." I whispered reaching out with both of my hands to cup his face. "Forgive me," I begged, sobbing, shaking, closing my eyes, bowing my head as my arms slowly went limp, sliding down the cool expanse of his exposed neck, over his stone shoulders until they rested with my fingers wrapped gently around the crease of his elbows. He was still holding my waist, he hadn't moved since he'd set me on the ground, I could feel a slight trembling in his arms. I tried to remember, could vampires tremble, was that even possible?
I stilled suddenly when I felt him slowly lean forward, waiting, hung on the edge of anticipation, keeping my eyes closed. Then I felt it, a rush of his icy breath washed over the skin of my neck, sending shivers down my body, causing me to let out a shuddering breath. He paused, and after a long moment, there was the softest brush of his cool skin at the pulse of my neck, almost the flutter of a moth's wing, sweeping down slowly across my collar bone and back up over my shoulder, trailing up my neck again, tracing my jaw, and then down again. This time as he came to pause once again at the pulse of my neck, I felt him draw in a slow breathe, and his hands tightened convulsing onto my hips into an almost painful grip. Then, as if he were mustering all the control he was capable of, he tilted his head ever so slightly, and his lips pressed against my pulse, kissing the skin over the flow of blood beneath the surface. I parted my lips and sucked in a slow breath, as my eyes fluttered open slowly, seeing where his bronze head was bent down, his shoulders hunched forward, as if he were trying to maintain some distance between our bodies while still pressing as closely as he could handle.
"Is it…" I began carefully so as not to startled him. He loosened his hold on my hips suddenly, as if realizing how tight he'd been holding me, pulling back slowly until he could meet my eyes again, and his face was barely inches from mine. "Is it hard for you…to be around me again?" I whispered looking down. One hand rose to cup one finger beneath my chin, pulling my face back to his. His gaze was searching, his eyes flickering between mine rapidly, darting down to my lips and all across my face, before they met mine again. He didn't answer my question making me frown softly. "Edward?" I whispered, but he continued to gaze softly into my eyes, I couldn't make out his expression as clearly as before with his head tilted slightly down away from the light of the moon. His brows furrowed softly for a moment, before his thumb came up to trace over the edge of my lips slowly. Then, when his silence was starting to make me slightly afraid, he spoke.
"I begged…" he whispered, his cool breath washing against my mouth, "To dream of you." He face took on that expression of torment once again. "I didn't think it was possible," he breathed. "I've almost forgotten how real dreams can be." I was about to protest his words, when he began to lean forward slowly, his body vibrating with the tension it took to maintain his seemingly infinite restraint, pausing a paper thin space from me, and then, after a long agonizing moment, he kissed me. And oh God, it was the same, the exact same as the first time he'd pressed his lips to mine the day we'd visited the meadow. Electricity zinged through my body, jolting me suddenly, and I felt my hands spasm against his arms. Suddenly I threw my body against his, my fingers entwining themselves in his hair, pressing his kiss harder into mine. He froze, but instead of pulling away, he deepened the kiss, as if he were trying to erase the knotted and tortured emotions from his being, like he was sucking at my lips, siphoning the antidote to a fatal poison from within me.
I wasn't being careful, and neither was he. He kissed me thoroughly, until there was nothing left in either of us but a profound, devastating sense of completeness, but he didn't pull away. Like me, he just needed to feel the pressure of our bodies, needed to mold himself against me as tightly as he could. The warmth of my body from my racing blood, made him feel even cooler, the cold seeping through our clothes. This was everything—it was all I ever wanted to know. This was the way I knew it would always be, he was mine, and I was his, nothing had changed. The way he touched me, held me, the way his mouth moved against my own, heady and delicious and desperate, all of it was precisely and utterly the same. It was the most glorious kiss in the world.
After a long moment, I leaned away slowly, letting my fingers untangle from his hair, coming to rest on either side of his neck, as both of our breaths came in shallow harsh pants. He didn't need the air but his lungs instinctively grasped for it anyway. "Dreams don't feel that incredible," I murmured softly. "No dream I've ever had could replicate this," I whispered.
"You said you weren't coming back." He seemed perplexed making me sigh, before leaning forward to duck my face into the dip of his neck, as I slid my arms beneath his to hold his chest to mine.
"I'm not a dream," I whispered. "I'm alive, Edward." He seemed to go suddenly rigid, his whole body suddenly screaming his denial. I sighed, rolling my eyes to myself. I knew this couldn't be that easy. I let my shield tighten suddenly, so that I still couldn't hear anything from the others, I didn't care, and I wasn't going to bother finding out. I continued to hold him forcefully, feeling his head turn as if studying me where I was curled against him before his arms came to envelope me tightly. I sighed contentedly, snuggling closer against him, closing my eyes, as I pressed my lips to his stiff neck. After a long moment, I took another deep breath and opened my eyes. "You don't believe me," I sighed sadly. He pulled away slowly then, making me straighten to meet his eyes again.
"I don't care what you are," he whispered. "I'll settle for a dream," he murmured softly his brows knitting together painfully. I groaned, leaning away, letting my head fall back in exasperation to blink up at the trees, and his fingers fanned out across my back as he held me.
"I actually thought this was going to be easy for a second," I muttered to no one shaking my head. "I'm still a stupid lamb," I sighed—he seemed to freeze at that. I looked forward again before reaching behind my back to try to pull his fingers away, but he tightened his hold as his face took on a form of fearful panic like I had never seen before. "Trust me," I whispered looking into his eyes. He still seemed unsure, but this time he let me remove his hands slowly, twisting his palms to entwine his fingers in mine, supporting my weight as I pushed up to stand. Slowly, with effort, he stood with me, his hands squeezing mine anxiously. I smiled up at him warmly, reassuring him gently, slipping one hand slowly from his—he was reluctant at first, his fingers moving with mine. "I won't let go," I promised squeezing his other hand gently, answering his unspoken fear. His eyes flickered to my eyes, sucking in a soft breath when he saw my ring before his eyes rose back to slam into wine. We were silent for a long moment before I finally forced myself to turn away, so that I could face the others.
I met Carlisle's eyes first, noting how they all were still standing where they had been before, never moving an inch, but their faces had fallen into their perfectly blank masks. "We should probably do this back at the house." I frowned, speaking out loud for Edward's sake before I shivered suddenly. "It's getting cold." Carlisle didn't move at first but then I saw the barest nod, and I smiled, turning back to face Edward. He hadn't taken his eyes off of me since I'd turned away—he was still staring at me, still in a state of refusal to accept that I was real obviously. "Will you carry me?" I whispered. He stared at me for a long moment, considering my words and then suddenly, I was cradled in his arms, the movement so quick it almost made me dizzy. I took a moment to steady myself before I spoke. "I can climb on your back if it would be easier," I murmured touching his cheek. His face darkened suddenly, not in anger, but in distrust.
"I'm not taking my eyes off of you," he said firmly and I grinned slightly.
"I'm not going to disappear," I smiled. "You're kind of stuck with me." His face softened slightly but I knew I wasn't winning.
"I'm not taking my eyes off of you," he repeated, blankly this time. I rolled my eyes.
"And here I thought you would be the one person who wouldn't treat me like a ghost," I sighed, he frowned then.
"I've upset you," He panicked, furrowing his brows painfully.
"No." I shook my head and touched his cheek gently. "I'm just frustrated," I sighed leaning up to touch my lips to his for a brief moment. "I really wish you would believe me." I frowned softly. He contemplated me for a moment, his gaze unsure.
"I'm still not taking my eyes off of you," he whispered and I swallowed suddenly, his words making me think of something.
"Please don't say that," I pleaded fearfully my eyes going wide. "I just got you back. I don't want to be turned into a pancake when you hit a tree because you weren't paying attention to where you're going." I almost saw amusement as his lips twitched slightly. "Besides…" I smiled letting my fingers touch his lips and he kissed the tips softly. "I'm in your arms—won't that be enough until we at least get to the clearing?" I asked. His eyes tightened for a moment, and then he pressed me closer to him.
"If it will put you more at ease," he murmured. I nodded and finally he let his eyes slide up to look at the others. "Shall we?" he asked softly but I didn't let my eyes leave his face. Someone must have answered him, because he turned the full impact of those topaz eyes on me again. I blinked.
"Oh!" I gasped tearing my gaze away and his hands tightened. "My hoodie is still behind the tree." I tried to shift in his arms but his hold stiffened again.
"I've got it." Emmet called appearing suddenly with the garment dangling from one finger tip. I smiled.
"Thanks, Em." He winked and then the others turned and took off ahead of us. I blinked when their departure left no evidence of their presence other than the rustle of a few leafs. Slowly I slid my face back to Edward's where his eyes were still all for me.
"Hold on tightly to me," he whispered, leaning to press his lips once more to mine. "I can't bear to have you any farther away from me than necessary." I blinked once and nodded, sliding my arms up to wrap them around his neck, burrowing my face into the space between his skin and mine. He held me, in almost a sitting position, pressing me against him, one arm beneath the bend of my knees, the other in a straight line up my spine, his cool palm sliding carefully beneath the curtain of my hair to cup against the heat of my neck. "Don't forget to close your eyes," he reminded me with a soft chuckle pressing his lips to my ear, and I smiled.
"I'm not even going to peek," I whispered against his neck.
We were moving suddenly, but this time I didn't pay any attention to the chill of the wind against my skin, I was only aware of the way his arms never let my body move from where he held me, he never let me slip an inch. When we crossed over the river, I tightened my arms instinctively, and I heard another soft chuckle in my ear. The impact of his landing was barely noticed, as he tightened his hold to brace me. His movements were more fluid and graceful than Emmett's had been. I noticed when he was moving with blinding speed again. At least, I thought he was—I wasn't paying any attention. It seemed to have been only a few seconds, from when we had begun moving until we finally slowed. I felt the wind slowly disappear, making me look up gradually, and he let me. I blinked. We were a few yards from the front porch.
"I can walk the rest of the way," I offered but he ignored me, continuing up the stairs, crossing to the front door where Carlisle held it open for us. The others were already there, waiting just inside the entrance. "You can put me down now," I whispered looking up at him, and true to his word, his eyes were locked back on me. Now that we were both basked in light, I'm sure his gaze was memorizing me, because I was doing the same, noting how his amber eyes seemed lighter than they had been in the woods, with only the jarring light of the moon upon them. Carlisle shut the door but neither of us looked up when we heard it. Edward seemed to debate something silently for a moment, his eyes darting between mine quickly. "I'm not going to disappear," I reminded him with a smile, and he finally let me slide to my feet gently, with practiced effort at slowness, turning me to cause our bodies to skim closely against each other's—the friction made things low in my body tighten. I blushed furiously and his gaze lit up suddenly, his fingers rising to caress my cheeks delicately.
"I've missed that so much," He sighed shakily. "You have no idea." He was shaking his head as if the weight of the emotions pained him greatly, before his fingers reached down for mine. It took all my strength to tear my eyes away from his but I finally did, meeting the wary gazes of the others.
"Are you all okay?" I laughed raising one brow. No one spoke, they continued to stare unblinking at Edward, as if unsure what to do. Renesmee was staring at us both with longing and I felt a twinge of pain in my chest. I reached out my hand to her and she took a step forward.
I wasn't sure what happened next. There was a loud snarl and Edward's arms were suddenly around me, shielding me from her. "Don't…touch…her." He hissed and I raised my eyes to see the threatening glare he was bestowing on her.
"Edward!" I shouted appallingly. "She's our daughter!" I pleaded reaching up to pull his face back to mine. When he met my eyes which were full of pain, his face softened abruptly, furrowing his brows. "She's our daughter," I whispered. My eyes darted between his quickly, staring up into his face fearfully. "She's your daughter." I let my thumbs brush the smooth expanse of his cheeks slowly. "You told me, just before I died, you said 'She's part of you, she's part of me too' remember?" He stared down at me, his golden eyes tortured as my words ignited the memories. "That hasn't changed," I whispered, "She's still part of us." I looked down slowly. "And I would gladly give my life for hers again." I felt his arms tighten, as he leaned to rest his cheek against my forehead gently. "I love her," I whispered, "You love her too." I pulled away to look at him, searching his eyes, and it was there, the spark of hope I needed, the truth was there just beyond those amber rings. He did love her, but that love was buried beneath years of pain and suffering.
I slowly stepped away, actually surprised that he let me, and turned back to face the others. Renesmee was tucked against Rosalie's side, tears streaming down her face. This was breaking her heart. I furrowed my brows painfully and shot Edward and angry glare. His face took on a punished expression of pain, but I had to ignore it, he wasn't the only person I loved who was suffering. This time, I stepped forward, pulling fully away from Edward's desperate hands and he made a noise that almost sounded like a whimper. I met his eyes where they were wide and full of fear before taking a breath and turning away, walking to take Renesmee in my arms, she sobbed suddenly against my chest, shaking my body.
"I promised that I'd make everything right," I murmured rubbing her back soothingly. "And I will," I assured her. I felt her nod numbly as she tightened her hold on me and renewed her crying. "I love you," I whispered.
"I love you Momma," She sobbed making tears prick my own eyes.
"My little nudger." I smiled pressing my lips to her hair. "My Nessie." I grinned. "And damn Jacob for that nickname, because it really grew on me." I laughed and she pulled away to meet my eyes, laughing too, amidst the tears.
"It grew on everybody." She smiled softly but her slid to something over my shoulder and her face slid into horror. "Mom." Her voice was panicked suddenly and when I whirled suddenly to face Edward, his expression was a mimic of the way he'd looked the first time he seen me in our Biology class, hate and horror…his eyes black with rage and underlying terror.
"Edward…what's wrong?" I whispered. He shook his head and began backing away, his mouth gaping open, his eyes frenzied. I stepped forward and he in turn took another step back. "Edward?" I paused, the strain of hurt in my voice.
"Am I being punished?" His voice was so soft and broken I barely heard him.
"Punished?" I whispered worriedly. "How?"
"Are you punishing me for not saving you?" He backed up suddenly to press himself against the door. "Why now?" He moaned, and it was a hollow sound that I had never heard before. "I can't watch you die again," he choked shaking his head quickly. "I can't lose you again." He screwed his eyes shut tightly. "Please don't…do this," he begged.
"Edward…" I whispered taking a step forward, reaching out to him and he tried to press tighter against the door.
I was only a few feet from him when his eyes flew open, and I held out my hand to him. "Take my hand, I'm not going anywhere," I whispered tenderly. "I won't let go again, I promise." He didn't move at first, his wide fear filled eyes, searching my face desperately.
Finally, after a long moment, he edged slowly forward, his pale fingers reaching out to touch mine and when they did, his whole being sagged in relief, before he pulled me against him, his body trembling again, fully shaking in fear almost. I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in the scent of him mixed with the smell of the ocean, before I slid my face up to his, touching my fingers to the dark circle beneath one eye. "I'm right here," I murmured, rising up on the tips of my toes to press my lips to his. "I'm right here," I repeated softer against his lips. He kissed me then, more fully than before, his arms tight around my waist, holding me like he was afraid to let me go. I was crushed against his chest as his lips worked hungrily against mine—his fingers fanned my back, holding me close. The pressure was making me suddenly dizzy so I pushed gently away to meet his eyes. We were both breathing harshly, and his eyes had bled back to rings of gold as he stared at me wordlessly. I grinned softly, trying to mimic the crooked grin he'd bestowed on me countless times. "Try to remember, I'm human again, I actually need to breathe." I smirked and his eyes tightened slightly in skepticism but one corner of his mouth twitched in amusement. I smiled and stepped away making sure to catch his hand in mine when I did, squeezing it gently in reassurance, before turning back to the others.
I blinked, they had moved farther away, giving us some space as they waited anxiously for us at the edge of the living room. "We're coming," I called tugging Edward's hand gently, pulling him with me as I made my way to the living room. It seemed appropriate I mused, to perform my explanations to Edward where my memories had brought me back to myself. They all moved blindingly fast to take up positions around the room, as I brought Edward and myself to stand before them all, I turned to face Edward.
"I believe you owe the others an apology," I whispered. He blinked back at me, not moving. "For accusing them of betrayal…when they were only trying to bring us together," I explained softly. He finally turned to scan their faces slowly, each of them, first to Carlisle then to Esme as if he were seeing them for the first time, then to Rosalie and Emmet briefly, before his gaze touched on Jasper and finally Alice. He'd skipped over Renesmee. That made me slightly angry. I tugged on his hand making him turn back to me. "Quit blaming her for something I did," I whispered touching his face. "Quit blaming yourself," I sighed and his eyes softened.
"None of it matters," he said it blankly. That made my brows furrow.
"None of it matters?" I whispered in confusion and he slowly reached out to cup my cheek with a cool palm, his thumb stroking my heated skin, raw worship in his eyes.
"It's like you're real again," he sighed and his words spun my head into a new dimension of aggravated frustration. I turned desperate eyes to Carlisle.
"He still doesn't believe me?" I frowned, but Carlisle didn't answer he was watching Edward's face. I sighed. "I wish it had been as easy as we both hoped it would be Rose." My eyes found her face.
She was smiling regretfully. "Me too."
I swung back to meet Edward's gaze. "Do you even want to believe that I'm alive?" It sounded like an accusation. It was an accusation. I'd almost forgotten how obstinate he could be.
"I don't care what you are, as long as you're here." I squared my shoulders and glared irritably up at him.
"And if this is a dream…when you wake up, I'll be gone." His eyes seemed to flash with understanding at that. "You would rather believe that, than believe that I'm here…forever." His brows furrowed.
"I hope I don't wake up," he murmured softly, tracing my lips with a cold finger. "I'd be happy if I were dead right now, hell is bearable with you by my side," he whispered.
"Did I kill somebody in my past life that I don't remember?" I railed leaning away, my eyes going around the room before coming back to his. "Is there a reason why I'd be in hell right now?" I snapped glowering at him. His eyes tightened slightly.
"You gave up your soul to be with me," he said softly, with subtle remorse. "You didn't do anything to deserve it," he murmured. "I did it to you." I shrugged his hand away from my face loosening my hold on the hand that was still entwined in mine, but I didn't let go. I'd promised that I wouldn't.
"Stop it!" I yelled. I was angry now. "Enough of this soulless crap." His face betrayed his pain, the knowledge that he'd upset me must have bothered him more than I'd imagined it would.
"I've upset you." He repeated the words he had earlier in the woods with the same soft tone.
"Yeah, this time you have." I nodded angrily and he frowned reaching out to touch his fingers beneath my jaw.
"Forgive me," he murmured softly, the apology filling his face, and my anger melted away.
I sighed. "You really would rather be in hell than here with me?"
"No," his voice broke and in turn so did my heart. "That's not what I meant."
I sighed in exasperation. "Why don't you believe me?"
He didn't answer—his eyes were searching my face, trailing across my body as he examined me. Slowly he reached out to pinch a strand of my hair between his fingers.
"I dyed it," I mumbled in irritation. "I ran into Angela and Mike—you remember them don't you?" I dipped to catch his gaze and his eyes flickered to mine before he nodded once. "They saw me and freaked out because I looked so much like me—well, exactly like me, but I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know who I was then," I tried to explain. "So, after I went to see Charlie I decided that I didn't want anyone else treating me like I was a freak—"
A low growl from Edward halted my words.
"Edward, calm down," I said it carefully. "It's okay—seeing me just startles people." I shrugged. The tension in his body loosened and I send a quick worried look to the others. "Anyway…to make a long story short—"
"Too late," I heard Emmet mutter it under his breath but I ignored him.
"I dyed my hair." I shrugged. "If you don't like it, I'll dye it back." I offered looking up at him. His gaze was still washing over my face.
"I like whatever makes you happy," he murmured gently.
"You believing that I'm alive would make me really happy right now," I grumbled staring up at him. He didn't answer me—he just continued to examine the strand of blond hair between his fingers.
I was about to open my mouth when Edward suddenly tensed.
"What is it?" I whisper worriedly.
"What is he doing here?" he said through clenched teeth.
I was confused, looking to others trying to decipher his meaning.
"Ness? Bells?" I could hear Jacob's voice suddenly calling to us from outside, his voice getting closer. "Hellooooooo? Anybody home?"
"In here Jake!" I called out but before I could move to greet him Edward's arms were around me, and he has pulled us to the farthest corner of the room, putting himself between Jake and I as I heard footsteps enter the living room.
"What the—Edward, what are you doing?" I shrieked.
"He can't have you, you're mine." Edward's voice was frantic almost as if he were talking to himself.
"Bells?" I heard Jacob's confused voice as I shoved at Edward's back trying to push until I could see around him.
A snarl ripped from Edward's chest. "Stay away from her!"
"Jake, you may want to stay back," I warned him carefully still trying to see around Edward.
"What in the hell did you do to him Bells—drive him right off the vampire insanity cliff?" His voice wasn't amused, he's serious.
Another growl erupted from Edward's chest.
"Edward, if you hurt Jake…" I latched onto his wrists, as if my meager human hands could hold him. My eyes flickered to the others, at least the ones that I could see, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie. "Uh, a little help here?" I raised my brows at them and they suddenly moved to stand between Jacob and Edward.
"Stay away from her, she's mine," Edward snarled again.
"Is he serious right now?" Jacob's voice was full of disbelief.
"Ugh!" I grunted letting go of one wrist to shove him hard with one palm in between his shoulder blades. "Edward, cut it out!" I muttered angrily.
"No, you picked me." The hysterical edge was back in Edward's voice. "You picked me, Bella, not him." He glanced briefly at me.
"Yes, yes I did," I nodded as I spoke trying to sound reassuring but it sort of came off as me being a smartass unintentionally, "There isn't anyone to pick—I'm in love with you. I married you for crying out loud, Edward!"
"Dude." Jacob's voice made Edward look at him, distracting him enough so that I was able to lean around him to see Renesmee at his side staring at us both with wide eyes through the barricade of bodies between us and them. "I'm in love with your daughter, I have no interest in your uh…wife—er, not anymore—at least other than…you know…her being my best friend and all." I grimaced giving Renesmee an apologetic frown
There was a long moment of silence as I felt a blush creep into my cheeks, embarrassment flooding through me.
"Well, this is awkward," I muttered.
HUGE THANK YOU to my superb Beta, Content1! She puts up with my forgotten commas and misplaced capitalizations like a freaking champ!
Review, review, review and maybe I'll have more cute Edward/Bella moments coming soon.
Also, anything that you all are excited to see, let me know. I have a few tricks up my sleeve still. ;)