HEY guys, so only two reviews last chapter :'( Come on guys where's the love? It's cool doe. I just like reviews cuz it helps me think better. This chapter is mostly flashbacks, and it has lemon. So…yea. Please skip it if you don't want to read the sex scenes. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, we all know this. Don't ask questions, just go with it. XD Enjoy~ (please review!)
Chapter 13: Stone Cold
I watched Saga sleep soundly in his bed. Our bodies exposed and entangled together, bed sheets messy and blankets covering us for warmth. I smiled to himself, taking pictures in my mind of this moment.
Saga looked so sweet, so innocent…so peaceful…
In all honesty, I never know how he's really feeling, let alone what he's thinking. He's very quiet, and he never smiles or laughs…how cold…
I'm starting to think that Saga-senpai doesn't love me…and he probably never will. Right now im simply hanging on a small thread of hope that the possibility will change. But…what will it take for me to be good enough for Senpai?
I gave him my virginity, I gave him all my time, I get in trouble by my parents everyday just to make sure he's content…I love Saga-Senpai…I love you….
So cold…..
I traced the structure of his face with my index finger softly-so soft, it's barely touching at all. The shape of his nose, the bone structure of his cheek bones and chin, his lips…his eyelids…
What a cruel thing to do Senpai…So cruel….I love you so much, I feel my heart burst just by watching you read, sleep….just being there, I cant help but dwell on the thought that you will never be mine for good…
So in the morning…im going to ask you…im going to ask you if you love me….please. Please. Please.
"Senpai…please fall in love with me.."
The next morning, I found my heart rate and blood pressure raging. I wanted to ask so bad, so desperately. It was Saturday.
No school. Just here. Me and Saga-Senpai.
I woke up to a chilly breeze from the window, and sat up quietly. Saga-senpai was gone. I glanced around the room, rubbing my eyes from a small blur.
"Senpai?.." I called out in a small voice. I heard no response. Deciding on getting out of bed, I swung my legs out from underneath the warmth of the blankets. I blushed as I noticed I had nothing on. I quickly picked up my scattered clothes on the floor, throwing them on as quickly as possible.
I buttoned up my pants, attempting to button up my shirt when I saw him come in. I blushed and looked down at the ground. "S-S-Saga-Senpai, excuse me. I should've gotten up earlier. Forgive me." I didn't look up from the ground. And he said nothing, as always…
Stone cold….
He took a seat on the bed next to me, cupping my cheek lightly. He lifted my chin, as my eyes met his. My heart raced. I thought it was going to burst into a million pieces. Should I ask? Should I not? Maybe he does love me….Or maybe,
He doesn't… I have to ask…this is my chance…this is my chance to find out if I'm worth something to senpai.
He stared at me. I could feel his eyes watching me intently. This made me all the more nervous. I felt his other hand lift to cup my other cheek, as I avoided eye contact with him. Ask him! Ask him now!
Saga-Senpai leaned in, his soft lips brushing against mine once again. They weren't just soft, they were like a newly woven fabric, silky and flawless…I could feel his tongue lick lightly, asking for entrance. I gave permission, slowly feeling the wet, leathering presence invade my mouth. I could feel his hands on my cheek, cupping gently, one hand traveling down my back, gripping my shirt.
I subconsciously leaned back down onto the bed slowly, Senpai's hand holding me at the arch of my back. Our legs entangled, his body pressing firmly onto mine. I felt myself accidently moan into the kiss; his tongue almost fighting for dominance. Senpai pulled away, only barely, nibbling at my bottom lip.
My body's going limp again. I can't breathe. I can't think. I want to ask…but what is it that I wanted to know again…? I can't remember…
My thoughts are all muddled up again. My mind's becoming empty. I can feel a tightness arouse between my legs. How does he do this to me? Just one touch, and I'm done. I give in so easily. I'm pathetic aren't i?
But if this is what Senpai wants…then I have no problem complying.
Senpai's lips pull away from mine, and I feel his breath on my neck. A small bite, a lick, and a tongue sucking onto my skin between his lips. What do I do? What do I do now….? Why can he do this to me…and yet I can't do the same for him?
I moan at the bite, as his kisses travel down my chest. He pushes his member against mine…it feels so good. So, so nice. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Saga slips off my pants once again, running his cool fingertips over my thigh. I see him bite his lip, and slip his hands onto my thighs, holding them in his grasp. His lips kiss around my abdomen. I clenched onto the sheets, biting my lip as he tossed off his pants. He grinded against me, licking my nipple and playing with the other.
His hands continued to wander around, eventually making their way towards my boxers. He slipped them off, taking my erection into his hand, stroking it between his palm.
"Do you like that?" He whispered into my ear, licking my neck. I nodded, and whispered a 'yea'-probably inaudible. My heart always raced…raced into hyper speed….he was like a drug. Every kiss. Every touch. Every small, unnoticeable smile...he makes me so happy…
But do I do as much for him…?
He let go of my erection, pecking me on the lips and then suddenly sucking me off. Oh the pleasure…I put a hand into his hair, holding it firmly, but not enough to pull-although I felt so good. His tongue and mouth worked its way on my shaft, up and down, up and down, up and down…
"S-senpai…aarggh!" I moaned louder, gripping the bed sheets between my fingers. "AAHHH," I shut my eyes, throwing my head back in pleasure. God, he turns me on…so much, I can't control myself.
"Lift your hips, Ritsu." Saga-Senpai flipped me over onto my stomach suddenly, and I prepared myself for what was coming. He lifted my hips towards his erection, and I gripped the bed sheets even tighter, and placed a hand on the wall before me.
He pushed inside, whispering lightly, but I can't hear him. I just moan as I feel him thrusting deep inside of me. I dig my nails into the wall, clenching the sheets till my knuckles are white.
"AARRGGHH, S-Senpai...AAhh!" He kissed my back, reaching for my erection and thrusting in harder and harder each time.
"Say my name." He spoke into my ear, almost sounding like he was begging. "Say Masamune." His hand pumped my member quickly, and I squeezed my eyes shut at the pleasure.
"M-Masamune!" I called out, cuming onto the messy sheets underneath us. He held his breath, filling me up with his seed. Our breathing was hard. Both gasping for breath and silently begging for more. I opened my eyes half-way, feeling him pull out and turn me around. He held my waist, and pulled me into m arms as he dropped onto the bed.
We stayed like that for a long time, then eventually put our garments back on. I have to ask. This time, im gonna ask. It's time.
"S-Senpai…we're…going out….right?"
"what?"
I hesitated…maybe I shouldn't have asked. Do I even wanna know the answer….? Yes-Ritsu Onodera, you've waited this long to hear Senpai say those three words. So just say it…
"It's just that, you never say anything…" He looked at me, and I closed the gap between my shirt that exposed my chest, almost guarding my heart for the worst. This is it. This is what you've been waitingfor. You can't turn back now…
".."
"Um Senpai…? Um….How do you feel about me….?" I looked down, heart pounding madly. This is insane. He must feel something for me…right?
I looked up, and saw him lift his hand to hide his laugh.
Asshole.
I stood abruptly, he was just fucking playing me!
Asshole.
I swung my leg around, knocking him off the bed with a hard force. He fell onto the floor, holding his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but I took off before he spoke.
Asshole!
I ran as fast as I could out of there. Taking my shoes and coat. I buttoned up my shirt as I ran. I didn't care who saw me. I heard him calling out to me, but I said nothing. I didn't turn around.
Fucking filthy bastard….you'll pay for this..
This is the last time…
YOU MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME!
Haitani made his way to the bar Ritsu promised to meet him at. It was barely Four o'clock. He decided to take an early leave, knowing exactly why Onodera called him out in the first place. This was even better than what he imagined. Everything was falling into place. He didn't even need to call the police or use Ikuto or An-Chan. Takano fucked his own plan up with a stupid little secret that Onodera already knew about….
He just burned it out of his memory. He may have walked out, but there was no guarantee that he would do anything or forgive Takano in the first place. No way-he was too jaded for that. Haitani walked down the street, thinking about the earlier conversation with Takano.
*flashback*
"Ritsu….my precious Ritsu…" Takano stood, eyes saddened at the thought of Ritsu's pain. Haitani took advantage of this moment, seizing it in his grasp. He smirked, and spoke slyly,
"I bet you haven't told him…have you?" Haitani bore his eyes into Takano's, raging in anger. "I bet you never will tell him…because you're a coward. You are a manipulative asshole who couldn't care less about what you've done and how it could affect Onodera-kun. How selfish. Of course, I already knew you would never have the balls to tell the truth. That's too bad.." Haitani stretched out his arms, yawning in boredom.
Takano watched him, knowing his scheme. "What the hell are you trying to say? I could tell him now if I fucking wanted to." Takano stared annoyingly, glaring at Haitani's smirk. He just wanted to slap the damn thing off.
"Ha, well why don't you eat those words? You say if you wanted to…but you don't want to do you? Because you don't know what Onodera-kun will do. But I know what he'll do. I know exactly what he'll do."
"tsk, and what's that then? You can't predict what someone will do. That's inevitable. What a stupid thing to say." Takano turned away, preparing himself to head home. Haitani turned towards his company door, eyes not averting from Takano.
"Let's prove it than. If you tell you're little secret, and Onodera-kun doesn't show up at the bar, I'll forget this whole ordeal and never intrude in your life again."
Takano's back continued to face Haitani, "What's the catch?" Haitani took a few steps towards the door, placing a hand on the knob to enter.
"If Onodera-kun rejects or leaves you, then I win. And you lose. Which means, you have to give up on him completely him if he doesn't show back up by 7 pm. I'll be on the line when you tell him. If you don't pick up, I'll be the automatic winner." Haitani opened the door, smirking his way partially inside. "Oh and one more thing….if he doesn't show back up, then you loose all contact with him. His parents will move him back to Onodera Publishing and he'll marry An-chan. Let's face it, you may 'love' him and I may be infatuated with him, but in the end, neither of us deserve him."
Haitani stepped into the bar, watching Ritsu, who hadn't noticed him. 'I think I'll just watch what you do for a minute…'
I am happy…I am happy…
You see me standing…but im falling apart inside….maybe if I don't cry…maybe if I pretend, I won't feel pain anymore….
I can't believe this….it's over. It's really over…after all the chasing-all the battles, all the pain of remembrance, all the sacrifices, all the disgrace…
He's the filthy one…
Not me…
NOT ME.
I thought I….i though I was your ember….
But it looks like selfishness is your shade of gold…
It looks like fate wasn't on either of our sides…we don't belong. We weren't meant to live happily ever after…
And I don't love you….
Ritsu sniffled, staring at his phone as it rang on the table. He forced back the tears as they tried to pry out of his emerald's. Ritsu stared at the caller id, Takano again. This was probably the twentieth call in a row.
"Maybe I should go back…" Ritsu sipped at his beer, leaning his head against the back of the seat. "I already knew that…Takano-san, I knew already knew that you made a mistake…but…" Ritsu shut his eyes, letting a tear slip from his tight hold. "But I don't think I can forgive you…"
Takano hung up the phone after leaving another voicemail. He sat on his couch, unable to jeopardize the situation. He wasn't allowed to try to convince him or anything…but how could he help it? The love of his life just walked out on him for the second time in his life….
What if he never came back? What if he realizes that this was just too much? What if he decides that he will leave again? What if..
What if..
What if…
Takano stood from the couch, pacing throughout his apartment. He headed into the bedroom, staring at the unmade bed. He imagined Ritsu sitting there, blushing a hot mess, probably trying to look busy by messing with his clothes…
He could just see him. Reading on the couch, breaking a cup in the kitchen, leaving a water puddle in the bathroom after a shower….
Takano looked around the bedroom-and into the living room from the doorway. It was then when he realized,
His whole world was revolved around Onodera Ritsu…
His scent lingered on the bed sheets and pillows. His pissy attitude flew throughout the hallway from his protests. His tears fell onto the floor, flooding it up to it's baseboards. His peacefulness when he slept made it's way throughout the apartment, the books he read scattered near the shelf…the grumbling of his stomach at the table, the frown he wore at medicine time, the heat of blush appearing on his face in the most touching ways….everything here, was no longer Takano Masamune…
It was Masamune,
And Ritsu….
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