A/N: This was amazing to write. Don't judge me.
Her eyes widened.
"What? No!" Rachel's cheeks once again flushed scarlet. "I believe in a more wholesome appearance."
"Sweetie, you're pregnant. You're going to have to get over that." Quinn put one hand on her hip and examined Rachel up and down once.
"You're lucky we're about the same size. You're a bit shorter, so you can use one of the ones I bought before I hit my growth spurt." When she saw the face Rachel was making, she rolled her eyes. "They're clean, don't worry about it."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable-" She started, then Quinn interrupted her.
"Shut up. He's already seen you naked." Quinn, who had successfully gotten Beth to stop crying and suck on her hand, grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her up the stairs and into her room.
"Strip." She set Beth into a playpen and stepped over a backpack to get to the dresser, opening a drawer and taking out a light blue, small thing that Rachel didn't think she ever wanted to see, let alone wear.
"I really don't think…"
"Perfect. Don't think." Quinn looked at her, holding the blue thing in one hand and a red, slinky…thing in the other. Her intense look softened. "Look, you don't have to do anything. I'm not going to force you, Puck doesn't really expect you to. It's just a joke to see the look on his face, then put on comfy shorts and old t-shirts and watch Emma Stone and Jennifer Aniston movies. You don't have to."
Rachel thought about it. She reached for the blue outfit. "Fine."
Quinn furrowed an eyebrow. "This one is mine." She handed Rachel the red underthings and babydoll, and laughed at her face.
"Mine's more revealing, relax. Don't worry about it."
Rachel took a deep breath, and when Quinn turned around to change, she did the same.
When she finished, she looked down at herself and glanced in the mirror. "I look like a prostitute."
Quinn sashayed over to her and rested her elbow on Rachel's shoulder. "That's the point."
"So, what am I supposed to do?" She turned and nearly tripped over the black heels Quinn had set down next to her. "No. No no no no no no no!"
"Yes!" She twisted her leg to show off the nearly identical six inch heels on her own feet, and snapped Rachel with a garter. "Those are yours, and so is this one."
Rachel groaned and took the garter, slipping it onto her left leg and sliding her feet into the heels, feeling herself grow taller. She looked at herself in the mirror one more time and moved away from it.
"What do I do?" She asked again.
"Be seductive. How am I supposed to know?"
"Haven't you done this before?"
"Nope. Usually I just take the ice cream, kiss Puck's cheek, and kick him out."
Rachel started to panic again. If Quinn had never done this, that made this weird. It would have been weird anyway, she wasn't going to lie to herself, but at least it would have happened before.
"Berry, Rachel, relax. Puck's going to laugh."
The doorbell rang, and Rachel felt a surge of confidence. She shot Quinn a quick grin before heading down the stairs.
Quinn followed her, carrying a baby monitor, and grinned encouragingly when Rachel looked back.
She reached the front door, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
"Hi Pu-Mike?! What are you doing here! Jesus Christ!" Rachel couldn't breath.
Quinn pushed her out of the way and gaped at Mike.
"Uh, I'm here to deliver your Chinese food?" His eyes burned holes into the floor, and his cheeks were flushed. "I don't really know what you were expecting, but I'm just here to exchange goods. Money and food!"
Rachel reached around Quinn and took the food, setting it down on a table inside and bringing back the money.
"You weren't supposed to see this." Quinn had started to make weird gasping noises, so Rachel had to talk.
"So you weren't expecting some sort of messed up threesome? Because I'd be totally into that if I didn't have a girlfriend."
"No, we weren't."
"Thank god." Mike turned to leave, and Rachel started to close the door, but he turned around. "Wait! Please, just don't tell Tina about this?"
"Trust me, this is going to remain our little secret."
Rachel closed the door, and tapped Quinn's face. "Are you okay?"
The other girl nodded, so Rachel left and turned on the oven, putting the food inside. She picked up her phone off the table and sent Puck a text.
-Noah, the front door is open. Just knock and come right in.
His answer was almost immediate.
-I'm pulling into the driveway. –Puckerone
"Quinn! He's pulling into the driveway."
Quinn stepped into the kitchen, apparently fine after her strange hysterical attack. "Okay. Did you tell him to just come in?"
"Yes."
"Good. Come with me." With that, Quinn took her hand and pulled her up the stairs, heading to the left and checking on Beth quickly before resting against one of the walls; he couldn't see them, but they could see him. "You're going down first, and I'll carry Beth down after you welcome him." Quinn winked.
"Okay. Be careful in those heels."
"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm great with heels." Quinn set off into the room, picking up a gurgling Beth and jutting out a hip.
"Berry? Quinn?" Puck's voice drifted up the stairs, along with the sound of the door opening and closing.
"Noah?" Rachel swallowed her nervousness and walked down the stairs, making minimal noise with her shoes.
"Holy shit."
She hid a smile as he observed her; by the time she was at the bottom of the stairs, his face was flushed.
"I was just trying it out." She looked up at him through her eyelashes and bit her lip, twisting back and forth at the waist. "Is it okay?"
He groaned. It was then that she noticed the bag in his hand. "Is this for us?"
Rachel got an idea, and she heard Quinn start to walk towards them, so she had to move quickly. She liberated the bag from his hand and moved into the kitchen grabbing one of the cartons of ice cream and a spoon and going back.
"Chocolate cookie dough? How did you know that was my favorite?" She opened the lid and dipped the spoon into the frozen treat, waiting for his answer.
"Uh, you told Finn. I was there." Puck looked wildly turned on, and Rachel was not going to let this opportunity to mess with him pass. She took the ice cream filled spoon and raised it to her lips, looking over Puck's shoulder to see Quinn coming towards them quietly, setting Beth in the basinet as she went.
She licked the drop of melted chocolate off of the end of the spoon and then took the whole thing in her mouth, making doe eyes at Puck as she sucked the entirety of chocolate cookie dough off of the spoon and swallowed it.
"You want a bite, Q?" She moved past Puck, nudging him with her hip, and took another scoop in the spoon holding it out to Quinn.
Quinn leaned forward and copied Rachel's earlier move, sucking the chocolate off and smacking her lips when she was done.
"It just tastes so good!" Rachel over exaggerated her words, and both she and Quinn had to refrain from laughing. "Thank you soo much Noah."
She set down the ice cream and spoon and sauntered towards Puck, draping herself on one side of him, Quinn doing the same on the other.
"I don't know what we'd do without you, do you Rach?" Quinn pouted.
"No, I don't even want to think about it."
Puck looked like he was about to have an aneurism. "I-uh-I."
"Are you okay Noah?" Rachel giggled a little, in spite of herself. She acted like she had just remembered something. "Q, we have got to have a pillow fight while Noah here is taking care of Beth!"
Puck groaned again, and a lump in his pants confirmed that their plan was working. "You both suck."
Quinn looked at Rachel, who grinned. "Sometimes." They said together, then burst into giggles, moving away from Puck.
Rachel hurried to the basinet and picked up Beth, bringing her over to Puck and handing her to him, as Quinn pushed him towards the door.
"Thanks for doing this!" Rachel waved as Puck walked backwards away from them, slowly. She smirked as Quinn pushed her against the wall and put her hands on Rachel's hips, then swung the door shut, locking it.
Both girls had to sit down from how hard they were laughing, and they high fived over Quinn's improvised trick at the end.
Rachel got the ice creams and a spoon for each of them and they ate for a while, until they remembered the Chinese food.
Quinn put away the ice cream while Rachel set up the containers around the living room, putting blankets on the reclining-foot rest couch and starting on her chicken with chop sticks.
She turned on Easy A and they settled in for a long, lazy night.