Chapter 14

Tauriel was lost in the pages of a book about the Hidden City of Gondolin, reading by the light of a candle, when she heard a knock on her doors. She put the book aside and moved to answer the door, expecting to see Thranduil.

But it was Elladan.

She stood there gazing at him incredulously, forgetting her manners for a short while.

"Hello, Tauriel. Am I bothering you?"

"Umm… No, no… Come in, Elladan", she stuttered and then gestured towards the room, allowing him to walk inside. "What brings you here at this hour?" she inquired, having recomposed herself.

"A time of leisure and a wish to see you", the ellon spoke and smiled softly. "Am I unwelcome?"

"No… May I offer you some wine?" she asked and made for the cabinet where she kept it. "Please take a seat", she spoke from over her shoulder.

Elladan sat on a chair by the table and watched her as she poured them both a glass of wine.

"Thank you. You are most courteous a host", he said and smiled again.

Tauriel nodded, trying to hide her discomfort. She did not dislike Elladan, but she did not share his feelings.

"I have seen so little of you lately, Tauriel", Elladan said quietly.

"I have been busy with my duties, as have you", she responded a bit more sternly than she had really wished.

"But I wish I could see you more", he went on.

Tauriel shifted in her chair in uneasiness. "Elladan…" she said and turned her apologetic eyes to him.

He saw her expression, and his mood was ruined. "I know you do not feel for me as I feel for you… But will you not give me a chance to prove myself? To win your heart and make you happy?"

"It is not that simple. We cannot rule our hearts, Elladan…" she spoke softly.

"You always look so distant and troubled, Tauriel. Are you still in mourning over that lost love of yours?" he inquired, while his eyes glistened.

"I will forever mourn him", she replied, choosing to follow the safer path of rejecting Elladan on grounds of Kili's death rather than tell him of her love for Thranduil.

The son of Elrond sighed. "I thought it might be so".

Tauriel nodded and then looked away. A moment of silence fell upon them.

"You deserve someone who will make you truly happy, Elladan. I cannot do this. I cannot be your One", Tauriel said in a low voice.

"But I wish it were you. If only you tried a little to leave the past behind…" said Elladan and made to touch Tauriel's hand, but at that moment another knock was heard at the door.

Tauriel's heart leapt to her mouth, certain now that her new visitor would be Thranduil; she had been expecting him, after all.

"Excuse me", she said to the ellon and walked to the door.

As soon as it was open, Thranduil's tall figure appeared. He smiled softly at her sight and his lines of worry eased a little.

"Tauriel, my-" he started but the elleth quickly interrupted him.

"What an honor to receive you here, lord Thranduil", she said somewhat theatrically and bowed. Then she stepped aside, allowing him to look inside the room and see that they were not alone.

Momentarily startled by her formality, he soon realized the reason why, as a peek inside the room revealed a seated Elladan with a glass of wine in his hand.

Said ellon was quick to rise to his feet as soon as he heard Tauriel announcing the King's presence.

"My lord Thranduil", said he and bowed.

"Elladan, son of Elrond. I did not look to see you here", the Elvenking spoke bitterly, as suspicion and jealously quickly crept inside his heart.

"I would very much say the same, my lord", replied the ellon.

"I came to reclaim something of mine", he said with narrowed eyes.

Seeing Elladan's puzzled expression, Tauriel intervened before things went awry.

"Just an old… relic I had in my possession since my days in Mirkwood", she said and smiled awkwardly.

Thranduil just stood there, his expression unreadable and his gaze icy. If looks could cut, Elladan would be now lying on the floor bleeding.

"Well then, I shall leave you to your business. It was not my intention to tarry long, anyway", Elladan said and then he turned to Tauriel. "I wished to tell you, Tauriel, that tomorrow morning I am leaving. I will be gone together with Elrohir to the Trollshaws, where some kinsmen of ours are encamped in Thorenhad, north to the gorges of Bruinen. We will be gone for around a month, I estimate… or until our mission there is carried out. I simply wanted to bid you farewell, Tauriel. And to tell you that I will miss you", he said in an emotional voice and looked down.

The elleth's heart went out for him, and she smiled faintly. "Take care of yourself and your brother, and be careful, Elladan. Imladris needs you to return safe and sound", she told him.

Thranduil was watching them and the well of his patience was now running dry.

"Farewell", Elladan told her and then he made for the door. "Good night, King Thranduil", he said and then exited the room. Tauriel went and closed the door behind him.

As soon as Elladan's footsteps were to be heard no more, Thranduil rushed and lifted Tauriel in his arms, kissing her fervently and pinning her against the door. She gasped at the ferocity of his aggression, and, although she enjoyed his fervor, she placed a delicate finger on his lips, breaking the kiss.

"Now, is someone trying to prove a point here?" she teased him.

"How dare he speak to you such endearments! Had he tarried but a minute more, I would have separated his head from his shoulders!" Thranduil declared in boiling rage and passion.

"Come on, he neither said nor did anything wrong", she tried to calm him.

"But he fancies you", he commented with his brow still furrowed.

"So?"

"That is reason enough for me to behead him!" he exclaimed and pulled her again in his arms.

"You are truly mad!" laughed Tauriel and then kissed her lover with all the fervor of her heart.

A while later, when this surge of passion was sated with ardent kisses and tight hugs, and both elves had somewhat cooled, they sat by the table to speak.

"I do not suppose anything has ever transpired between you and him…" spoke Thranduil suspiciously.

"No, mell nin, never. I have never felt anything of the romantic sort for Elladan. My heart belongs to another. And he is tall, beautiful, and majestic", she said tenderly and took his hand in hers.

Thranduil's heart was warmed upon hearing her words, and a soft smile graced his face. "As his heart belongs to you only".

Both leaned closer for another kiss, which was sweet and slow this time. Then Tauriel spoke.

"How has your day been? Have you perhaps managed to find and speak to Legolas?"

Thranduil sighed and leaned back in his chair. All feelings of warmth were eradicated as he remembered his earlier exchange with his son.

"As a matter of fact I have. But it did not go as well as I had initially hoped", he said and lightly tapped his hand on the table, looking thoughtful. Tauriel was waiting for him to go on. "Although he is not opposed to us being together, he was deeply hurt by my lies, when I tried to dissuade you and him from falling for each other. I had been so selfish, Tauriel, and Legolas has every right to feel hurt. But for now he does not wish to speak to me. He said he needs time to think about it all".

"I think Legolas' reaction is entirely understandable, Thranduil. What had you expected? Him to tell you that he does not mind you having deceived him? I understand this feeling all too well. Your selfishness and jealousy led you to do much damage".

Thranduil's hopeless gaze fell to the floor. "Is there nothing I can do to repair it?"

"Of course there is. I have forgiven you. Do you think your own son will not? Just give him the time he needs", Tauriel wisely advised him.

The Elvenking nodded. "What a terrible person I am", he grieved.

"Do not say that", she said as she stood and came to stand behind his chair, placing her palms on his shoulders. She started to slowly massage him. "You are not terrible. Neither are you perfect. But I love you. After all we have been through, all the rights and the wrongs, I love you. Does that count for nothing?" she whispered in his ear.

He turned then his face to hers. "It counts for everything, meleth nin", he told her and kissed her.

"Relax now, and let me massage some of your tension away. Would you stand, please?" Tauriel said and then proceeded to undo the laces of his robes and push the garment from his shoulders, leaving him naked under her gaze and touch.

He shivered a little as the breeze of late evening blew in from the window and caressed his skin. But then he sat again in the chair and submitted himself to his beloved's wondrous touch. Soon he felt relaxed and even let out soft moans as she continued massaging his shoulders.

"It seems to me you are feeling better, my lord", she said in a pleasant tone.

"Indeed I am. Thank you, meleth nin", he said and stood. Then he took her hands in his. "But so wrapped up in my own dealings of the day I was that I did not even ask you of your day. This is inexcusable of me. But I will make it up to you", he said and in a swift movement he lifted her in his arms.

Tauriel gasped and chuckled. "Thranduil!"

He then walked to the bed and placed her carefully on the mattress. "Tell me, beloved, how has your day been?" he asked her as he bent low and began unbuckling and removing her boots.

"It has been rather uneventful…" she began, but her tone was suddenly raised. "My love, please! There is no need to serve me like that!" she cried while a blush rose to her cheeks.

"I will serve you in any way I see fit", he said in a tone indicating that he would not suffer any dispute.

Then he grabbed hold of her legs and slowly moved his hands upwards, from her ankles to her calves and from her knees to her thighs and hips. There he hooked his fingers beneath her waistband, and pulled at it. He slid her breeches over her legs and then tossed them aside.

He crawled upwards then, kissing her legs as he went, until he made a stop at her private parts, now exposed under his hungry gaze.

"Thranduil?" she called at him nervously, but he disregarded it and buried his face between her thighs.

Lightly he licked and tasted her, causing her to moan instantly. "Just relax, beloved", he told her in a husky voice. Then he proceeded with the ministrations of his tongue, licking and exciting her sensitive parts, until Tauriel was panting and shuddering, arching her back, as her body longed for more.

Thranduil's own lust had risen greatly, and he enjoyed her sight of writhing immensely. Kneeling on the bed, he came above her and gently nudged her legs open. He then positioned himself between them and lowered his weight on her body.

Tauriel was squirming with anticipation and lust, already grinding her eager and ready body against his evident arousal. He groaned and sighed, but deliberately prolonged the moment of their union. Reaching up, he undid the laces of her tunic and opened it in the front. Her firm breasts became the next object of his adoration, as he tenderly kneaded and caressed them, while slowly rubbing his throbbing member against her entrance.

"I have wanted this all day long…" he murmured in a daze. "I have been thinking of this moment since morning…"

"So have I, Thranduil. Love me, mell nin. Tarry no longer, for I cannot take it!" she cried and pushed her hips against his.

He allowed himself to enter her then, and shuddered as her tight heat enveloped him. His senses were lost in that unique feeling of being one with his beloved, and he bent his face down and kissed her deeply as their bodies united.

Tauriel brought her arms around him to hold him tightly against her breast, and hooked her legs around his hips. The Elvenking's thrusts became deeper and more urgent as their passion built up continuously, and the otherwise silent room was now filled with their pants and moans of pleasure.

Thranduil held her face and looked at her intently as he made love to her. "I love you, Tauriel", he breathed.

"I know", she whispered and pulled his face down for a fervent kiss.

Soon enough their pleasure reached its peak, and they both reached their climaxes one after the other. Breathless and panting they then lay in each other's arms, enveloped in the warmth of their love.

"I want this to last forever", Thranduil said with some urgency in his tone. "I can never lose you. I will not bear it. I will not survive".

"What is this sudden talk of doom, mell nin? I am here, you will not lose me", she tried to ease his worry.

"That is what Lothrin used to say…" he sighed and rolled to his side.

"Her death was a tragic misfortune… But it had nothing to do with her words. She wanted to be with you forever, Thranduil. She loved you. Had she not proved this in the most absolute, indisputable way in the end?" Tauriel spoke and caressed his cheek. A tear wetted her finger.

"Yes…"

"You miss her a lot…" she murmured sorrowfully. "Do you miss her even when you are with me?" she added in a small, pained voice.

Thranduil turned to look at her. "No, my sweet love. In our hours of love and passion I am yours only. Do not despair, do not feel sorrow. My love for you is no lesser than my love for Lothrin had been. And for the first time today her tragic death did not occur to my mind, not until now. For the first time in nearly two thousand years, Tauriel. And I have you to thank for it. You are mending my broken heart. You are healing me", he spoke softly and tenderly, as fresh tears brimmed in his eyes, only this time they were not tears of sorrow but of joy and relief.

Tauriel was deeply moved by his small and yet important confession, and nuzzled her face against his neck. "I love you too. More than I loved Kili. More than I could have ever loved anyone".

Then she fell silent, but her thoughts did not. And that is why I will take matters into my own hands, mell nin.

By afternoon the following day Tauriel found Legolas. He was sitting alone in a chamber of Elrond's grand library, reading a very old and heavy book. He seemed so absorbed in its content that he did not notice her coming until she was standing right in front of him.

"Tauriel?" he asked as he lifted his eyes from the book.

"Hello, my friend", she started in pleasant tones and smiled.

"What are you doing in the library? I did not know you had taken up reading as a hobby", said Legolas and smiled back at her.

"As a matter of fact I have", Tauriel replied and took a seat next to him.

"You have always detested books, long reads and dense passages, as I remember from our days of youth in my father's halls. You would rather grab a dagger than a book", the Prince commented. "What made you change?"

"Sixty years in Rivendell have ensured my developing a liking for reading. You cannot simply live amongst the greatest of scholars and with the greatest library in Middle Earth beneath your quarters and not be tempted to visit it. Lord Elrond always urges his people to read", she explained.

"Ah, lord Elrond is wise and learned, that is for sure. I wish my father had half his wisdom, nay, a slither of it even", Legolas said sulkily.

"Do not speak so low of your father, Legolas".

"Hm. Of course you would rise to his defense now, given the new state of affairs", he continued in the same tone.

"It is not because of the new state of affairs, as you call it, that I defend your father. He is wise in his own way, and do not forget how much he has suffered. He lost his wife and-"

"Celebrian had been captured and tortured, and, being unable to bear the pain of memory, she sailed for the Undying Lands, leaving Elrond with three young children", Legolas interrupted her. "He has suffered too, but he did not turn sour and bitter and even malicious like my father", he said with a furrowed brow and crossed his arms before his chest.

"Yes… But she is waiting for him in Valinor. They will meet again one day. Unlike your parents, Legolas, who are to never see each other again. And do not forget that Elrond is not touched by dragonfire… and he also wields Vilya. Do not compare them. It is unfair to your father", she sought to chastise him.

The Prince sighed in frustration and averted his gaze for a while. "What is your business here in the library, Tauriel?"

"I came to return this", she said and produced the book about Gondolin from her leather bag. Legolas glanced at it uninterestedly. "And I also came in hopes that I may find you here. I thought you might be waiting for Lossendis to finish with her teaching session, and so we could perhaps talk a little", she told him and smiled.

"Tauriel… If you are here to talk to me of yours and my father's relationship, please save it. I will hear nothing", he said curtly.

"Just listen for a moment, will you? Since when have you become so hard-headed and stubborn? Now this is something that reminds me of Thranduil, and I do not like seeing it in your character! You have ever been lenient and kind, with a warm heart. Have you perhaps exchanged roles, your father and you?" she spoke up, scolding him a little.

Legolas sighed in resignation. "Alright, I am listening. Just for the sake of our old friendship, I will hear what you have to say".

Tauriel nodded. And then she began.

"Thranduil – please tolerate me calling him by his name – has hurt us both. He has disappointed us. There were times we had expected magnanimity from him and he only gave obduracy. We had expected clemency and compassion but he answered with intolerance and cruelty. And we have always wondered why the King is so cold and icy, remote and aloof, severe and harsh". She made a pause to observe Legolas, who was listening to her closely.

"But the answer has always been right there, Legolas. Because he was King. It was something we could never understand. But as King, he could not afford to follow his heart in decision-making. Nobody has been harsher than me in their judgment of the King, Legolas! I even came to threaten his life on these grounds. And even pulled you with me in my folly".

"Folly? Saving the dwarves on Ravenhill was folly? I beg to differ, Tauriel", he objected.

Tauriel sighed. "No, for us it was no folly. But it was for Thranduil. He would not sacrifice any more elven lives just to save some dwarves. And although I will never agree with his reasoning, I have come to understand his motive…. and regret my inexcusable act to draw my bow against him".

"Is it your mind or your heart now speaking?" Legolas asked with a smirk.

"Both", she replied sternly.

"How did you ever come to love him, Tauriel? You hated him with a passion. You threw back in his face his offering of good will when he lifted your banishment and accepted you back in the wood", Legolas wondered.

Tauriel sighed and looked thoughtful for a moment. "When I came to know the ellon behind the King, I had no choice but love him", she responded in a low, emotional voice. "We had always judged him so harshly, superficially even, but had we ever cared to truly know him? Thranduil had none to lean on for help and support. He has been such a lonely person for so long, Legolas. A lonely and heavily damaged person, who managed to rule a kingdom perfectly nonetheless".

"He had his son. Do not tell me he was lonely! He could be far from that, if he so chose. And do not tell me that we did not care to know the real him either, because he would never allow anyone close to him, not even me. Nobody could see behind his mask of ice", Legolas said bitterly.

"Yes, but it was just a thin layer of transparent ice. A gentle push and it would break, revealing the stormy sea beneath", she spoke softly, her eyes trembling in their depths.

"Is that what happened with you and him? Did you manage to break this thin layer?" the Prince asked in milder tones.

"Yes… He desperately wanted to love and be loved, only he did not know how. And he was afraid, Legolas… He was so afraid to let anyone close or open his heart to anyone. How could he speak to you of the horrors of his past? How could he describe to you your mother's tragic death and not fall apart then and there, when his soul was being torn from his body? How could he tell you of the terror of dragonfire that robbed him of his wife and the beauty of his form, a fire that inflicted him with Morgoth's malice forever? Your father felt undeserving of love, although he deeply longed for it, mellon nin", Tauriel concluded as a tear fell from her eye.

Legolas' own eyes were, too, glistening with tears. "I have forgiven him for the hurts done in the past, Tauriel, but it was a forgiveness that stemmed from good will and a desire to move on, and not from understanding. Your insight has perhaps helped me know my father a little better. Apparently he is much more eloquent with you than he is with me", he said with a sad smile.

Tauriel placed her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "We are to play a different role in his life. Do not fool yourself, Legolas. You are irreplaceable to him. You are his deepest concern and first priority, you are his hope and pride, though he may not show it openly. Your father loves you, Legolas", she spoke to him tenderly.

"And still, he lied to me. And to you. He wanted to keep us apart. If only he had been sincere…" he said and sighed.

"What could he have told you, if he were to be sincere as you say? That he lusted after the elleth you had started having feelings for? Can you imagine how repulsed and angry you would have been then? And what could he have told me? At the time, he was not sure of what he felt. A desire, an attraction perhaps, but what if it had been something deeper? He could never afford to expose himself to me like that, while I never bothered to hide my dislike for your father back then. It was sort of a dead end for him", Tauriel explained, inwardly marveling at herself with this deep level of understanding she had managed to achieve during her long and tumultuous relationship with Thranduil.

Legolas nodded, deep in thought. "Perhaps he could see no way out. But he chose to allow his selfishness to win. He could simply step aside and let us love each other, if we so wished".

"And that was his grave mistake. Although I am pretty sure he saw I did not have romantic feelings for you, Legolas. Perhaps he could feel the strange attraction I have always felt for him, since I was an elfling. But, yes, his selfishness won the battle against nobility, you are right about that. Can we not forgive him this one mistake?"

"This one amongst countless others…"

"Yes, this one amongst countless others. He is flawed, Legolas. He is very flawed, perhaps much more than we are. But then, he is not like us. You have grown strong and wise, my friend. Your father needs your love and presence. Will you not give it to him? Will you repay him with the same coin of coldness and indifference? It will shatter him, Legolas. Not even my love will keep him from fading then", Tauriel said mournfully.

He turned his eyes to her. A tear ran on his smooth cheek. "Of course I will be there for my father, to love and support him. I have returned to Mirkwood and I do not regret this decision of mine". Then he leaned closer to her and took her hand in his. "Thank you, Tauriel, for talking to me. I had allowed my own feelings to cloud my thoughts and judgment. Much harm has been done already. No more".

"I knew you would respond thus, Legolas!" she cried and hugged him tenderly.

"But, I must say, you have learned a lesson or two of my father's eloquent ways of speech and persuasion. You will truly make a spirited Queen".

Tauriel stood dumbfounded, but her chance in a response was stolen away by the entrance of Lossendis.