Epilogue

Leaving So Soon

Arella stood looking out at the city, traffic bustling at all hours of the day, cars and horns and voices all mingling in a chorus she had grown to love. The first few months of constant noise had been rough, inhibiting her ability to sleep. But now, when it was all about to be gone, she couldn't imagine life without the never-ending background of sound. A breeze blew at the lace-trimmed curtains lazily. It brushed against her toes as they peeked out beneath the hem of her skirt. She could hear Jonathan's soft breathing as he slept off the afternoon heat. It had been two and a half years, two and a half long, hard years since that afternoon. There had been nights when she was sure she wasn't going to make it—when she was absolutely certain that she could not take another moment without him.

Those were the times when she would quietly walk out of her room and stand beside Jonathan as he slept; lying on his back with his limbs sprawled out every which way—just like his father had. She would touch his white hair and cry, and if he woke, she would draw him to her chest and hold him until she thought she might, just maybe, be able to breathe past the pain. It had been so unfair! His life had been snuffed out, wiped away just at the brink of when it was truly beginning! If only Isabelle...but no, she couldn't blame the Lightwoods. Jonathan had stolen their dear little brother from them. Even if that had been another Jonathan, she could see why Isabelle and Alec, and even Jace, couldn't forgive him. Couldn't let him go. Couldn't let him walk away. It had been hard to accept, but her son, no, their son, had helped her survive.

Clary and her mother had turned out to be the two biggest influences in her life—her greatest supporters, and probably the only reason she even made it through the pregnancy. Unable to just leave her to her fate, Clary had insisted that Jace help her bring Arella back with them. When Clary had explained to Jocelyn—and then through the bits and pieces Arella had been able to speak of—of what had happened, Jocelyn had taken to the girl as if Arella was a long-lost daughter. Though Clary had never spoken of it, she knew it had something to do with the fact that this girl, this stranger, had been able to love Sebastian—no, Jonathan—when even Jocelyn, his mother, hadn't been able to do so.

It had strained their relationships with the Lightwoods. There had been a lot of talk that the baby, when he was born, was going to be like Jonathan—a demonic creature, not quite human. Jace, on Clary's behalf, had tried to be friendly with her. But when the baby had been born, looking so much like Jonathan, he had stopped coming by. And she knew that it upset both Clary and Jocelyn, as much as they both loved her little boy. It was impossible not to, once they got past his striking resemblance to his father. He was all laughter and joy, bubbling with life and love for those around him. He was everything Jonathan should have been, as a baby. Everything Jocelyn wished he had been. And not a single strain of the demonic in him. Not that that had surprised Arella. She knew the moment she had become pregnant. It had been the last time, with all that sunlight filling them both. When he had become human somehow.

But it had still been so hard on them all. So, so hard. So, though Clary and Jocelyn both had told her not to, that no, she wasn't causing the problems between the Lightwoods and the Frays, that Jace would come around eventually, she had decided to leave New York.

She gazed out at the city streets one last time before turning and looking about the Studio apartment she had been renting for the last two years. She walked to where Jonathan was napping between the few stacks of boxes the movers would be picking up later. She bent down and smiled as she stroked his hair softly to wake him.

"Open your eyes, darling. It's time."

Blue irises met blue irises as he opened his eyes sleepily. He made a little moue of protest, but allowed himself to be lifted into his mother's arms. Once there and happily planted on her chest, he snuggled down and went promptly back to sleep. She laughed softly and brushed a kiss across the top of his head.

With both her arms wrapped around her son, supporting him, Arella made her way out of the apartment complex and into the weak spring sunlight as it filtered down between a few grey clouds that flirted with the idea of rain. There was a cab waiting, packed with most of the clothes and little things they could fit on the airplane. She paused a moment, soaking up the sunshine. She turned her face to the sun and felt, as she usually did when standing in the light of day, that she wasn't really alone.

That maybe, just maybe, he hadn't left at all.

AN: I know, it's sadder than I intended. But I think, given the situation, it ended pretty happily. I'm satisfied with it. However, if enough of you want an alternate ending where Jonathan lives, let me know. I'll write one and post it. Lots of love ~ QS.