After what felt like hours, but was probably 10 minutes, Izuku had managed to calm everyone down enough to demand why, exactly, his body was about to ritually cremated. Ashido Mina (looking bright magenta as she explained this) eventually confessed that she thought that it was only fitting that a true warrior should get a funeral pyre, and Kaminari Denki apparently agreed heavily (or as heavily as his rebooting brain would allow).
Izuku let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He would have rubbed the bridge of his nose had he had an arm. Alas, it was somewhere in the pile of rubble and foliage.
"Guys, please," Izuku said over a new bout of argument over whether or not to go forward with the cremation plan. Apparently the teams were now "Izuku's alive so we really shouldn't destroy his body" and "He's just a head, what can he do, and besides, we went through all this trouble to set up this fire pit", rather than "Izuku deserves a warrior's funeral - getting burned on the battlefield he died on" and "No one does that anymore, guys, let's just try to piece the body back together, dress it up nice, and give him a proper funeral for his mother". "Can I please just have my body back?"
"About that," R18 Hero Midnight spoke up, letting go of Todoroki (who was apparently arguing for Izuku to get his body back), "What, exactly, is going on? Your transcript when you applied for this school said you were Quirkless, and then you posthumously changed that to "Kinetic Energy" Quirk, and then Aizawa said you had an Adaptability Quirk, but from what Asui-chan here was just telling me, it's not even that! So just what the hell, kid?!"
"Kayama-san," Principal Nedzu began, looking at Midnight rather strangely, "How do you have access to the students' personal files?"
"I'm teaching their Contemporary Hero Art History course," Midnight shrugged, "I gotta know some things."
"Yes, but how do you have Midoriya Izuku's file from the beginning of the year?"
"Hizashi made everyone keys to your office," Replied Midnight, pointing at Present Mic nonchalantly. Present Mic looked as if he would rather be somewhere else.
"Yamada-san," Principal Nedzu sighed, "I shall talk to you later. Right now..." Principal Nedzu walked up to Izuku. "Young Midoriya, can you ambulate on your own?"
"Uh..." Izuku said, not used to talking to the principal as it was his second week at school and he had seen the vaguely rodent-like (canine-like, if Kirishima were to be believed) mammal maybe twice in his life, "Not that, I'm aware, no..."
"I see..." Principal Nedzu hummed, "Can you move your other body parts?"
"I don't know," Izuku replied, "I tried moving them earlier, but I couldn't tell what was happening. Everything just feels really numb right now."
"Interesting..." Principal Nedzu nodded. "What if I were to place your head back onto your body?"
"Sir?" Shiozaki asked from where she was.
"Merely thinking, young Shiozaki," Principal Nedzu explained, "Of Doll Hero Bisque, who could rotate and remove his limbs at will, as well as reattach them. He was quite popular in Japan, not so much in his home country of France."
"Oh!" Kirishima exclaimed, banging his fist on his palm, "I think I remember Bisque! Dude's totally retro, heard he's got grandkids now! I'm surprised you know about him, Principal!"
Principal Nedzu chuckled as he walked over to Izuku's head. "I always look to the Heroes of the past, young Kirishima. After all, one can learn a great deal from history, and apply it to the future of Heroism. That's just one reason we teach it at UA. Now, would you all help me unearth young Midoriya's body?"
"Of course, Principal!" Everyone replied, and they all set to work undigging Izuku's corpse.
"I think what the principal was trying to say," Kirishima shouted from over everyone's movement, "Is that we should do what Bisque did and try to put his limbs back where they should be!"
"That makes sense, I guess..." Ashido said, "But which leg goes where?"
"Aren't his legs different lengths?" Kaminari asked.
"Why would they be different lengths?!" Jirou snapped.
"Sometimes they are."
"What?!"
As pandemonium erupted over the apparent jigsaw puzzle that was Izuku's body, Principal Nedzu stopped in front of Izuku and Aoyama. "Young Aoyama, would you like to go and help your classmates? I would like to have a private word with young Midoriya."
"Ah, oui," Aoyama nodded, and handed Izuku over to Principal Nedzu, who seemed to stagger a bit under the weight of Izuku's head. Izuku would have been insulted, but then again, Principal Nedzu was a dog-sized rat.
Or was he a dog-sized bear?
Maybe he was just a dog that looked like a rat?
"Do you often mumble like this, young Midoriya?" Principal Nedzu asked, clearly amused. Izuku made a small 'eep' noise. "Because truth be told, after all the genetic testing done on me, I myself am not even sure what my species is - I've quite outlived any wild specimen, at any rate."
"Sorry, sir," Izuku mumbled, "Bad habit."
"It's quite alright, I assure you," Principal Nedzu assured Izuku, "But here is what worries me... The Villains believe you dead, yes?"
"...I... Guess so?" Izuku began, "That's kind of what my plan earlier hinged around - my still-alive head acting as a decoy so that everyone could gang up and take out Shigaraki Tomura and Kurogiri-"
"Ah, are those their names?" Principal Nedzu asked, "For the police report, of course."
"P-Police?" Izuku stammered.
"Of course," Principal Nedzu replied, "There has been a major breach of security by an entire league of villains. Not to mention young Uraraka's mention of a "Noumu" which I am certain needs to be found by us before the Villains get it back. Which brings me back to my previous point." Principal Nedzu nodded, having come full circle. "The Villains perceive you as deceased. There is no doubt in my mind that they have surveillance on the school, if not before, then certainly now. Meaning, they'll see you and your classmates coming to and from school, especially you, who is supposed to be dead. Not only that, due to certain... Events, that are coming up, it may be wise to-"
"Principal Nedzu!" Satou cried out, "We're done!"
"Ah, we shall discuss this later," Principal Nedzu sighed apologetically. Izuku almost wanted to apologize in return. "Right now, we shall see if my hypothesis is correct."
"Right, right," Izuku said. He would have nodded if he weren't just a disembodied head.
Principal Nedzu carried Izuku over to his body, which, while still segmented, at least appeared to have the parts in the right place.
"...Why are my legs different sizes?" Izuku couldn't help but ask.
Jirou smacked Kaminari upside the head and Kouda promptly swapped them around.
"Well, young Midoriya," Principal Nedzu said, placing Izuku's head on his neck, "How do you feel?"
Immediately, Izuku cracked his neck, startling everyone who was watching. Someone who sounded a lot like Ojiro retched somewhere in the background.
"I can move my neck, at least," Izuku confirmed, ignoring everyone's discomfort, "Also, I can feel my sides now, so I think that as long as the rest of it goes as I think it will..."
Tsuyu walked right up to Izuku and put his arm against the cut where it came from. Immediately, they came back together, with a small meaty "thwp".
"Arm works," Izuku confirmed, moving it around as if to show off. He then picked up his other arm and placed it back on his body. He then reattached his legs. "Aw man..." Izuku sighed, "The costume's torn up again... Sorry, Yaoyorozu-san..."
"It's alright, Midoriya-kun," Yaoyorozu replied, looking both at and away from him, "I can just make another-"
"No, no, I think this time I'll just give it to the support company," Izuku tried to assure Yaoyorozu, uncomfortable that the girl was trying to help him, "It's just a simple patch job-"
"As much fun as this is to watch," Recovery Girl said, walking up to the group, but mainly to Izuku, "I would like you to come with me, young man."
"Ah, Recovery Girl-san!" Iida said, gesticulating wildly, "Shouldn't Midoriya-san remain here?! After all, he needs-"
"To be away from high-stress situations, I think!" Recovery Girl shouted back, helping Izuku up, "And a police interrogation is definitely one of those! Come along, young Midoriya."
"You know, it's alright," Izuku tried to reassure Recovery Girl, "I can walk on my own. I just died, it's not like I got my legs broken or anything."
Somehow, that didn't reassure anyone.
And so, UA was closed for three days. For the weekend, and for one extra day to increase security around the school. There were news reports (in which all student were listed as "alive", which was a risky gambit in Izuku's opinion, but it would likely make the Villains think that UA was covering something up, so it at least bought time to regroup), sure, but they were quickly overshadowed by another one of Native's legendary fundraisers - for a Hero that didn't see much action in the field, he was certainly a Hero people loved to give money to. At least this time, it was for a more contemporary cause (usually most of his fundraisers were for the Ainu Museum, who certainly enjoyed the half-Ainu Hero's charity) - that being for UA's security systems. UA graciously accepted the money, which they used to fund their increased security.
Regardless, the three days. It was currently the third day (Monday), and Izuku was bored out of his mind, and yet, his mind was racing at breakneck speeds.
Izuku hadn't given out his home address to any of his classmates, and he didn't want to meet up with any of his classmates at all over the weekend. He had his classmates' numbers, sure, and he liked messaging them, but whenever they would try to grill him on his Quirk, Izuku immediately changed the subject. Izuku didn't want to have to repeat his explanation to anyone, so-
Bakugou.
Izuku sat up in his bed.
Two of my abilities are directly due to Bakugou, Izuku realized.
He groaned and fell back onto the bed, sheets long since been cleaned and disinfected from his illness-related death. Izuku didn't actually fully blame Bakugou for his initial death - it was Izuku that was weak enough to go through with it, Bakugou just aided by baiting him. If anything, Izuku blamed himself.
However, the explosion from two weeks ago...
Izuku shoved his face in his pillow. How was he going to explain that?
Izuku didn't want to actually get Bakugou in trouble - far from it, actually. Deep down, way deep down, despite everything, he still actually liked the son of a bitch. Sure, Bakugou was the indirect cause of all of this, but if he hadn't done what he did, Izuku wouldn't have discovered his Quirk. Besides, he had saved Bakugou's life like, twice now. A third time by keeping mum would be nothing.
A more rational part of Izuku's mind began berating him, pointing out every last one of Bakugou's flaws in high-definition surround sound. Unfortunately, it was interrupted by his mother calling Izuku for dinner.
Izuku froze.
What am I gonna tell mom?
Contrary to popular thought, it was very hard to keep things hidden from Midoriya Inko.
Over the past year, she watched her darling Izuku grow in leaps and bounds after obtaining his Quirk. However, certain things didn't make sense. Ever since she had seen him crawl out of that tub (a scene that often replayed in her otherwise-very rare nightmares), Izuku seemed to become increasingly clumsy, as if he was completely unused to his own body. Not only that, but his story on how he had activated his Quirk late (which itself was already odd; the doctors thought that his Quirk, by all means, should have activated ten years prior - he showed all the potential for one, down to the minutest vestigial traits) started to fall apart when Inko gave it some thought. After all, where in the world did Izuku get military-grade thread and just happened to have a bottle of water when he had left the house with only train fare and a pencil?
Even in the off chance that he had bought it beforehand and snuck it under his clothes, Inko hadn't noticed any depletion from her bank account indicating otherwise, and she didn't give Izuku nearly enough allowance to purchase the thread after subtracting the cost of all his All Might merch.
Speaking of Izuku's hero obsession, for an entire year, he was glued to a journal that he refused to let even Inko read. This alone was odd - Inko usually got to see Izuku's Hero drawings, and Inko, though a more casual fan, was always willing to give Izuku a few tips on anatomy. Inko sighed as she pulled some bowls towards her - they were having katsudon tonight. She had seen the title of the journal once - "Self Study", which was either very good or very bad. She hoped it was the former.
"Izuku!" Inko called out, "Dinner!"
When Izuku came out of his room, looking rather gloomy, Inko's protective instinct immediately jumped into overdrive, but Inko suppressed it rather handily. She had practice - that particular instinct had been flaring up constantly ever since Izuku had started sneaking off to wherever he was working out after he finished his homework. Since Izuku just kept on coming back sweaty and nowhere near injured, she had started to disregard the instinct, but she still worried.
"Izuku, I made your favorite!" Inko said, placing a bowl at his spot at the table, "Katsudon!"
Izuku's face lit up instantly, and Inko felt better immediately, seeing her son so happy. The two sat down and ate their food. Inko asked about Izuku's friends, and that sent Izuku into a dizzying ramble about how much he loved all the friends he was making. Inko smiled as Izuku began to retell how great of a friend Yaoyorozu Momo (the heiress of the Yaoyorozu Corporation!) for remaking Inko's costume as best as she could. Inko had spent quite some money making the costume, and she was happy to hear it was at least well-liked enough that Izuku's friend would make a replica unprompted.
"So, Izuku," Inko began as Izuku wound down after recounting a particularly funny incident from Friday involving a boy from the Support classes getting rejected by Hagakure Tooru during lunch, "Did anything else happen on Friday?"
Izuku froze in mid bite. Inko mentally bit her lip for being so tactless before pressing forwards anyways. "I saw on the news that your Hero Studies class was attacked by villains."
Izuku began to chuckle sheepishly. "Y-You saw that... Huh..."
"Yes, and well..." Inko breathed in. Here went nothing. "Why weren't you with the rest of your classmates in the panoramic shot?!" She blurted out.
Izuku blinked in shock and recoiled a bit - Inko felt some remorse for making her son react like that. "Uh, well, uh, I- Recovery Girl! She's the school nurse, and she took me in to get healed up, since my, uh, wounds were so bad-"
"As bad as Eraserhead and Number 13?" Inko interrupted Izuku, "Because your name wasn't listed among theirs, even though their wounds were also rather bad."
Izuku fell silent.
"Izuku..." Inko said, pushing aside her bowl of katsudon and placing her hands on Izuku's, "I'd rather you not keep secrets from me. I-I know that's a bit selfish of me, but-"
"No, no," Izuku interrupted her, and he placed his hands over hers instead, "I-I wanted to tell you, mom, but you were so happy that I got into UA and then I didn't want you worrying-"
"It's my job to worry about you, Izuku," Inko replied, "What's one little thing like a Quirk going to do?"
"If only you knew..." Izuku mumbled.
"And I would like to," Inko said, "Please, Izuku. I-I don't quite understand Heroics, my major was in real estate. Just - if you don't want to worry me more, you should tell me. Because, truth be told, I've been getting more and more worried ever since I found you in the tub that night."
Izuku flinched, and Inko felt her guilt and fear mount and skyrocket. "It-It's kind of related to that..." Izuku said, and he went into the kitchen. Inko heard her son rummage around in the sink before he came back out with the pot she had used to make dinner. "Mom," Izuku began, sitting across from Inko again, "Here's the truth about my Quirk."
And with that, water started to flow out of Izuku's mouth into the pot, as if someone had turned on the faucet on a bathroom sink. Inko watched, wide-eyed, as the pot filled up to maximum capacity from the seemingly endless stream of water coming from her son's mouth. Izuku shut his mouth and placed the pot next to him. He then grabbed something in his palm - a string, as it turned out, coming out of the direct center of his palm. Inko gasped - the string had suddenly disintegrated as Izuku's head took on a "sharper" quality, imitating his mock-up sketch of his classmate Kirishima Eijirou's Quirk. Finally, as his hair returned to its softer state, Izuku grabbed his arm and pulled.
As his arm came off, Inko wanted to scream. She wanted to, terribly. However, all she really could do was let out a breathy whimper as he reattached the arm back where it should be. Izuku looked back up at Inko after all that was finished, and he immediately began to tear up.
"M-Mom," Izuku said, "Please don't cry... C-Cause then I wanna cry, and, and, well-" Izuku whimpered, and Inko belatedly realized that she was, in fact, crying.
"Oh, Izuku..." Inko breathed through her tears, and she stood right up and rushed around the table to hug him, knocking some water out of the pot on the floor.
"Mom..." Izuku replied, hugging her tightly, "I- The truth about my Quirk is, that, well, I did drown."
No.
"And also, I fell sick. And I also got my head crushed."
No...
"And my body was burned alive, and I got decapitated, and a spider bit me, and a car hit me-"
My baby...
"But, most of all, mom," Inko heard Izuku breathe in deeply, "I- The reason I know I can do all this..."
Izuku...
"...I jumped off the school roof, mom. I'm sorry."
Inko's sobs filled the apartment, and through her convulsions, she could feel Izuku sob with her.
Inko looked at the moon over the sea. Despite the roiling emotions within her matching the turbulence of the waves, she couldn't help but feel impressed.
"And you cleared up all this garbage by yourself?" Inko asked her son, who, though red-eyed, was clearly feeling more relaxed about the whole situation than she was.
"Yeah," Izuku replied, staring at a boat on the horizon that clearly just wanted to moonbathe, "I decided I needed an isolated place to strengthen myself. One where people wouldn't ask too many questions if I ever, I don't know, broke my spine lifting a weight-"
"Izuku-"
"I never died on the beach, mom!" Izuku said immediately, as if that was supposed to comfort her, "I just- If I ever cut myself and got tetanus or something, I always used my antibiotic blood to heal myself. Plus, I didn't have to pay money for a membership."
"I guess that's a good point..." Inko sighed, "But you couldn't have told me sooner?"
"I-" Izuku paused. His next words came out as if he were ashamed. "I didn't know how you'd react to having an immortal son."
"I wouldn't say immortal..." Inko said, "So much as undying. But, on the plus side," Inko gave a hollow laugh, "At least I won't outlive my son!"
Izuku gave a joyless laugh too, and they fell back into watching the waves crash against the rocks.
"You know, I should pull you out of UA," Inko said, and she could feel Izuku look at her in shock, "My instinct as a parent and as a guardian tells me I should really pull you out and transfer you to a nice boarding school somewhere in Kyushu. But... As a mother... I can't bear to see you torn away from your friends. I love you, Izuku, but that means that I have to see you happy, too. And what makes you happy is Heroes, is becoming the greatest Hero. What makes you happy is going to your dream school with the best classmates you could ever have and being taught by your all-time favorite Hero. Heroism is a career path fraught with danger - even I know that. But..." Inko sighed and closed her eyes. "Izuku, what I'm saying is, even if I don't fully understand why, exactly, you want to be a Hero... I know it makes you happy. So, I'm going to be behind you, one-hundred percent from now on!" Inko opened her eyes, and looked to her son. Oh hell , she thought, seeing Izuku starting to cry again, Now I'm about to cry.
"M-M-Mom..." Izuku croaked out, "I- Th-this is... A-Are you sure? What about your happiness?"
"When you're happy," Inko managed to say even though she could feel tears of her own begin to prick at her eyes, "I'm happy. That's what parenting is all about, Izukkun..."
Izuku said nothing, and instead hugged Inko. Inko hugged her son back.
And the Midoriya family stood there, embracing under the sliver of the waning crescent moon.
A crab scuttled into the water.
It was Tuesday. Izuku wandered through the halls, both wanting to get it over with and hesitating horribly. Things were awkward at home, though not as awkward as they could be - there was just a sense of mortality that hadn't been there before. But there was also an overwhelming feeling of support as well, and that was indispensable, as far as Izuku was concerned.
Izuku stood in front of his homeroom's door. Letting out a sigh, he pulled it open.
And immediately dodged a rubber eraser. Izuku blinked.
"Sorry 'bout that, Midoriya!" Sero shouted, and Izuku watched as he and Kaminari set up a fleet of miniature trebuchets, "Kaminari doesn't have any aim 'cause his Quirk's AoE!"
"I'll show you AoE, you cheap dollar store washi roll!" Kaminari returned as he began to load his trebuchets with more erasers.
"What are they doing?" Izuku whispered to Hagakure.
"Beats me," Hagakure said, shrugging her uniform. She turned back to her conversation partner, Tokoyami. "So then Terra sees that Master Eraqus is about to kill Ventus just for realizing that Vanitas is his darker half-"
"What?!" Tokoyami replied, sounding vaguely scandalized, "Who let this man around children?"
"Yaomomo made them catapults so that she could get some alone time with Jirou," Ashido explained, pointing to the back of the classroom where Yaoyorozu and Jirou were discussing something. Or, at least, Yaoyorozu was talking; Jirou was busy looking over the moon. "Gotta say, I'm kinda jealous..."
"...Of who?" Izuku asked.
"...Both?" Ashido cocked her head. "Does that make sense?"
"Kind of?" Izuku replied, "I knew a girl in middle school who wanted to date two of my other classmates at once."
"Really? What'd she do?" Ashido asked, sounding more interested than she really should have been.
"I don't know," Izuku shrugged, "I didn't like her all that much - she bullied me for a good part of that time."
"Oh," Ashido looked both disappointed and apologetic. "I, uh... Sorry?"
"Not your fault," Izuku shrugged.
"Students!" Iida said, standing stiffly upwards, "It is time to begin class! Please, get in your seats and put away your toys!"
"These ain't toys, class prez!" Kaminari whined, picking up his trebuchets and taking them to his desk anyways, "They're tools of siege and war!"
"Look like toys to me," Jirou snickered to Shouji.
"Who asked you?" Kaminari sulked.
"Hey, Shiozaki?" Izuku asked, "Who do you think's going to teach us today? I mean, Aizawa-sensei can't have healed up that quickly..."
"Hm?" Shiozaki looked a little wary of Izuku for some reason, but replied nonetheless, "I'm not sure... His wounds can't have recovered that quickly..."
"Shh!" Ojiro said, "Someone's coming!"
Suddenly, through the door, stepped...
...A mummy?
"Class will begin." Said the mummy in Aizawa's voice.
"Woah!" Ashido shouted, "Is that you, Aizawa-sensei?!"
"What're ya doin' outta the hospital so early if you're so bandaged up?!" Satou cried out.
"Oh, these?" Aizawa said, looking at his dual casts through the bandages covering his face, "They're just a formality. I feel perfectly healthy, honestly, but Recovery Girl said I should keep these on for another few weeks... Or months... She said preferably forever, since the wounds were so bad..."
"B-But you're healed, right?" Uraraka asked.
"Yeah, that's what makes this so frustrating," Aizawa sighed, "I feel healed, and I know it healed, but, doctor's orders, I guess. Speaking of frustrating things..." Aizawa pointed a cast towards the class, and belatedly, Izuku realized he was pointing at him, "You. Midoriya Izuku. Care to come up to the front of the class and share your little story of how you're alive after apparently being decapitated?"
The whole class slowly turned to look at Izuku.
Even Bakugou, who was uncharacteristically silent.
Izuku had never wished to be permanently six feet under harder than now.