To all our friends it looked like I was crazy, and totally irrational...I am determined that Nikki and Tom will get together at some point during this fic. I promise you, I want it to happen. It's just that sometimes my head and my heart and my hands won't work together.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is not to stop questioning
~ Einstein
They were in the canteen when the fire alarm rang out across the room.
There was a silence as everyone took in the bell, and realised they needed to evacuate – then everyone jumped up, scrambled for the door, screaming and laughing.
Grantly had just reached the front of the queue, "I'll have fish and chips, please."
"Mushy peas wi' that?" Maggie asked.
"Yes, that w..."
"No, Grantly – there's a fire alarm," she rolled her eyes in a fond display of mocking, abandoning her shovel and gesturing to the door, "You go outside. You do know that, don't you?"
"Mmhm. Of course."
"Have you seen my dad?" Josh asked her as she watched Grantly march away, ordering the students into single file, "Or Miss Boston?"
"No, sorry, Josh. They'll be outside; you need to go out too, yeah? We'll have lunch later. Honestly, doesn't Mr Byrne understand – can't he arrange the drill at a different time? This is a disaster; the food goes cold, and he'll be the one complaining."
"It's not a drill."
Maggie raised an eyebrow, "Really?"
"Dad always tells me on the morning if there's one planned – they arrange them the day before, him and Mrs Diamond."
"They might tell me..."
"You two, stop hanging around chatting," Tom burst in through the door, ushering the remainder of children out through the fire door into the yard, his forehead creased with worry and his eyes sharp, "Outside, now. You alright, Josh?"
"Yeah," he shrugged. He didn't want reminding of how he'd reacted to the last fire alarm. Like Nikki had told him, the past was behind them now. If they wanted it to be. "Where's Nikki?"
"Sure she's outside," Tom led his son and Maggie – having evacuated the kitchens – into the chaos. Children picked up on the panic of an unplanned evacuation; they were spread across the yard in huddles currently, glancing back towards the school apprehensively.
"Your son tells me it's a real alarm, Mr C."
"Yeah," Tom managed to give Maggie a smile, gesturing to the teachers assembling their classes into lines, "I'm sure it's just an accident – you know, sometimes the alarm is knocked or whatever. Nothing to worry about."
Michael was standing on the front steps with Sian. Tom approached them, spotting Josh with Lauren and Finn in their form line being registered. At least there wasn't going to be a repeat of last time; his son was doing much better now, and his friends were there for him.
"Any ideas, Tom?" Michael muttered.
"Nope. Are you thinking hoax?"
"Well," Sian looked unusually grim, "There's no Kyle or Tariq."
"Yeah. Have you seen, um, Nikki?"
"Have you not?"
"No."
Michael nodded, "I'm sure she's here somewhere. Why? Do we have cause for concern?"
"No, of course not."
"Mr Byrne!"
All three turned to face the steps, and saw Matt and Chalky striding from the building with Kyle and Tariq between them, grinning victoriously. Michael gave Matt a questioning glance, and he shook his head.
"They were in the cooler the whole time – I was there," Chalky said.
"Right," the head teacher was struggling to conceal his worry.
Tariq faced them, "Did you doubt us, Sir? That's not very nice of you, is it? Jumping to conclusions?"
"Down there, both of you. Join your classes," Sian told them quietly. They scampered off, glancing back over their shoulders, giving Michael greatly exaggerated smiles. Matt gave Tom's shoulder a pat and disappeared to join his class too.
Chalky hovered beside Michael, "Who's missing?"
"We don't know. It could just have been someone knocking the alarm? You know, they walked past, were pushed into it? Maybe they ran because they were scared they'd be in trouble?"
"Sir, Sir," Phoenix scrambled up the steps towards them, panic glistening in his eyes, "Scout isn't here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Phoenix," Sian laid a hand on his shoulder, her voice perfectly calm, "Calm down; I'm sure she's fine. She's probably just at the loos doing her hair, thinking it's a false alarm, yeah?"
"No, Miss."
"What?" Tom asked.
He glanced between the teachers, "She... she was upset. She got this letter, and she got proper angry, and started ripping it up. She... she was asking people if they had a lighter. She said she was going to burn it – she said she had to get rid of it. She just kept saying it."
"Who gave her a lighter?"
"I don't know, Sir."
"Come on – let's make this easy. Was it one: Tariq? Or two: Kyle?"
"Tom," Michael pulled him roughly away from the boy.
"Okay, Phoenix," Sian said, still softly, though she could feel her heart thudding beneath her blazer, and see her own worry reflected in the boy's wide gaze, "Thank you for telling us – you did the right thing. You go back to your line now; we'll find her."
He left reluctantly. Chalky followed him, and Sian was glad to see he led him to a quiet corner of the playground, where they sat down on the grass bank and began to talk. Chalky was so good with the kids, and he had so little confidence. What was going on in a school, when you didn't appreciate the teachers?
"I do not care if you hate them, Tom," Michael was lecturing, patches of rose warming his cheekbones, flecks of spit flying from his lips, "You do not share that opinion, and you definitely do not share it in front of the children."
"I'm sorry."
"Everyone we work for here is based on giving children chances. It does not matter where they come from, or what their past has held – they get a chance to change here; and if they get it wrong the first time, they get another chance. I thought you understood that, Tom."
Tom said nothing.
"If you don't – if you've lost that compassion – perhaps you shouldn't be here."
"Alright, Michael," Sian suggested, "Now isn't the time for this conversation. Tom, why were you worried about Nikki? Do you think something's happened?"
"I... she... You know she was in the army? She... she has flashbacks. She was depressed – she saw things, people died. And... I don't know."
"You think she might have reacted to the alarm as though she were in the army?"
"Yeah."
"So you think... could she be in danger?"
Tom took a deep breath, extremely reluctant to be doing this in front of Michael, but more concerned for Nikki's welfare than what she would say afterwards when she knew he'd spilled her secrets. He could deal with her anger, if he had to. He couldn't deal with her suffering.
"Yeah. I'm going to go in there. See if I can find her, and Scout."
"No, you're not, Tom," Michael grabbed his arm as he turned towards the main entrance, "Look, I didn't mean it. We need you, okay? I'm just worried too. I... You can't go back in there; we need to wait for the fire brigade now, okay?"
Tom shook Michael's grip from his skin, as though he couldn't bear to be touched, but he didn't make a further attempt to approach the school. They just stood there, the head teacher and the deputies, lost in time, lost in their thoughts.
Sian leant back against the pillar. For Michael to suggest they didn't blame Tariq and Kyle now, in their hearts, however they tried to disguise it or convince themselves otherwise, was a blatant lie. They did; they all did.
"God, where is she?" Tom whispered.
Michael sighed, "She'll be alright."
"She'll just be in the toilets too. Doing her make up," Sian smiled weakly at the image she'd conjured up in her mind, "Getting Scout to paint her nails in the colours of the rainbow."
Tom laughed, just because he needed to break the silence. The laughter sounded harsh in the air, as though it broke up the purity of the clouds.
"Tom."
He lifted his head from his hands. The way Sian spoke his name held the same desperation as it had when she'd run to the office having found Nikki collapsed in the canteen. He dreaded to think what he was going to have to face this time, but he took a deep breath and turned his head to follow her gaze.
XxXxX