14. chapter: Letting it all out
When Legolas awoke he was first feeling disorientated. He was lying in a soft bed, and the smell from it was so familiar. He led his hand travel slowly over the soft, dark blue covers. He was home, he realized, and then remembered the day before, or whenever it was, when Rozarko had brought him inside and placed him on his bed, Belenor had been their as well, taking care of him.
Rozarko had sat completely still in the chair by the bed the moment he had seen Legolas starting to wake up, he held his breath as Legolas slowly turned his eyes to him, afraid of what he may see in them. But he saw no distress at the moment, Legolas seemed calm and even a little relieved.
"You're still here?" Legolas whispered quietly.
"I will not leave your side" Rozarko said sincere, "how are you?" he asked.
"Home" Legolas said with a small smile.
"Yes" Rozarko chuckled, "but I asked how you were, not where you were".
"I know" Legolas smiled, "right now I feel fine".
"You slept peacefully the whole day" Rozarko told.
"Must have needed it" Legolas said a bit dryly, looking down.
Rozarko was about to say something when footsteps were heard outside the door to the corridor, followed by a knock. Legolas' head whipped around, his breathing intensifying rapidly.
"Legolas" Rozarko said calmly, "it's just Belenor".
Belenor soon walked into the bedroom, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Legolas' eyes fixed on him, watching him wearily. He was holding a tray in his hands.
"Legolas" he said gently, "I am just going to put the tray on the table" he said as he walked over to the small table by the windows. He then turned once more to Legolas, who still eyes his every move, but not quite as wearily.
"I need to check you bandages" Belenor then saw, and watched as Legolas was sending him a silent warning, telling him with one look only to thread carefully, but otherwise gave him permission with a small nod.
Belenor breathed deeply as he once more move behind Legolas.
"I am going to remove the blanket" Belenor told, and slowly took hold of it and removed it. Legolas immediately tensed when he felt himself being exposed from behind.
Rozarko slowly extended his hand, and Legolas did not hesitate to take it and hold it tightly.
"Just look at me" Rozarko said gently, and saw as Legolas eyes darted to his, he smiled reassuringly, "remember it's only Belenor, and he is going to help you".
Legolas just kept holding on to Rozarko's hand.
"I am going to pull your trousers down" Belenor said, and took hold of the waistband.
Legolas tensed even more, and tried to pull away from the touch.
"Legolas" Belenor said gently, "look at me".
Legolas' head whipped around, and he met Belenor's gentle, gray eyes.
"It's me" he said, "remember that. I am only going to help you, I will do nothing to harm you. Okay?".
Legolas watched Belenor for a long time, Belenor kept perfectly still while Legolas seemed to be in some sort of inner battle. He then released a shuddering breath, and looked back at Rozarko.
"Go on" Legolas whispered, while closing his eyes.
Belenor pulled the trousers down, and looked at the bandages. It had bleed a little, but nothing serious, and Belenor pulled the trousers back on. Belenor walked into the bathroom to wash his hands, and then back out to Legolas' front, and the prince slowly opened his eyes as he sensed Belenor in front of him.
"You should eat something" he told as he received the bowel on the tray he had put down earlier.
He placed it on the bedside table, getting a small nod from Rozarko, then then straightening up and move to leave.
"I will be back in an hour" he told as he left the room.
"Here" Rozarko said as he took more pillows and stacked them.
Legolas, still laying on his side, lifted his upper body, and moved to roll onto his back, gasping when he made contact with the mattress.
"Stay on your side if it otherwise troubles you" Rozarko told.
"Trouble me is the understatement of the year" Legolas growled as he settled down sideway on the pillows.
"Sorry" Rozarko winced as he picked up the bowel with soup.
Legolas just shock his head, accepting the spoon, and then slowly began to eat. When he had eaten half, he placed the spoon down and settled down on the pillows again. Rozarko removed the bowel, pouring a glass of water instead.
"Do you feel any pain" Rozarko asked.
"A little" Legolas told.
"Where?" Rozarko asked before he could stop himself, earning a look that said: you can't be serious.
"My ass, your moron" Legolas growled.
"Sorry" Rozarko winched, looking guilty.
"No" Legolas breathed, shaking his head, taking a shuddering breath.
"Legolas" Rozarko said gently, extending his hand towards him, stopping when Legolas flinched away from it.
"Legolas" Rozarko soothed, getting his attention, "peace, I will do you no harm".
Legolas calmed down, and led Rozarko place his hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes, and breathed rapidly.
"Easy, Legolas, look at me" Rozarko said, kneeling down in front of the bed, "look at me" he repeated.
Legolas opened his almost teary eyes and looked at him.
"It's me" Rozarko whispered emotional.
"I know" Legolas whispered hoarsely back, "but still… I can't let go of the feeling".
"What feeling?" Rozarko asked.
"Their hands on me" Legolas confessed, looking down.
"Hey" Rozarko said, lifting Legolas chin to look at him.
"I just feel so…" Legolas trailed of, a sob escaping him.
"It's allright, let it out" Rozarko soothed, "do not hold back".
"I feel so used and dirty" Legolas whispered lowly, tears slipping down his cheeks.
Rozarko had to compose himself for the amount of emotions running through him. He just wanted to jump onto the bed, and take Legolas into his arms and soothe him, letting him know he was safe, and never had to face the men again, that it was over.
"You're not, Legolas" Rozarko whispered, getting Legolas' attention, "will you let me prove it to you?" he then asked, hoping Legolas would, "will you let be hold you, comfort you and soothe you?".
For a long time, Legolas just stared at Rozarko, he looked more than nervous, scared even.
"I don't know" Legolas confessed, "I am not sure how I will react, but I will like you to try".
Rozarko smiled warmly, "I will take it slow, and tell you everything I am doing, all right?".
Legolas nodded, looking wearingly at him.
"Just say stop, and I will back away" Rozarko added as he stood up, "and try to remember, that's is only me".
Rozarko crawled on to the bed in front of Legolas.
"I am going to place my arm under your shoulder" Rozarko said, and as he did, Legolas tensed and flinched, but did not move away, "listen to may voice, my prince" Rozarko soothed, "just concentrate on my voice. I am going to in under you, all right".
Legolas barely nodded, but felt as Rozarko moved in where the pillows had been, and settled down.
"Lean into me" Rozarko told gently, guiding Legolas to lay against his chest, "I am going to fold my arms around you, if it is too much, please say stop".
As Rozarko placed his arms around Legolas, he felt as Legolas breathed deeply, and tried to relax.
"Listen to my voice, Legolas" Rozarko soothed, "remember who I am, remember that I will never hurt you, that I am here to comfort you and protect you. It is over".
When Rozarko told Legolas that is was over, something inside Legolas snapped, and he almost clung himself to Rozarko, holding on to his tunic and pressing his face into his chest, and just started to cry openly, letting the emotions run out of him, letting it all out. Rozarko soothingly combed his fingers through Legolas' hair, just taking to him, telling him that he was home, safe, protected, that is was over, he was free, and it all was all right.
After a while Legolas slowly calmed down, leaving a damp spot on Rozarko's green tunic, but Rozarko didn't care, Legolas had let him hold him, let him comfort him, and that's was worth more than he thought possible.
"Don't ever leave me" Legolas whispered tiredly, his hands releasing the iron hold they had had on his tunic.
"I will do my very best not to" Rozarko said sincere, placing a soft kiss on Legolas' head, "now see if you can get a little sleep, you need it".
Legolas was already on his way to sleep, and soon his breathing became quiet and even. Rozarko allowed himself to doze of a little, knowing he would wake by the smallest sound or move from Legolas or outside the bedroom.
o0o
Rozarko woke during the night by the small sounds of pain Legolas made. He was still sleeping against his chest, and he hold his arms around Legolas. Belenor had been their every hour, but seeing that Legolas slept, he had walked out again.
Rozarko was in high alert mode in an instant, looking down at Legolas, his body was making some kind of contraction, like his stomach hurt.
"Legolas" Rozarko called a bit urgent.
Legolas responded with a groan of pain as his body shot forward, his arm protectively around his stomach. Cold sweat appeared on his forehead.
Rozarko knew it was no more than twenty minutes past since Belenor had seen to them, and therefor called for the guard he knew was right outside Legolas bedroom.
"GUARD!" Rozarko yelled.
The door almost slammed open, and Rozarko was stunned to see Anglond for a moment, but then who else would stand guard before Legolas after knowing what happened to him.
"Get Belenor, quickly!" Rozarko ordered, and watched as Anglond turned and ran out of the bedroom.
"It's going to be all right" Rozarko soothed as more flares of pain shot through Legolas and be groaned in pain, pressing his face into his chest.
Not long after Belenor rushed into the bedroom, getting an alarmed expression when he saw Legolas almost writhe in pain. He quickly ran to the bedside, taking a small viral out of his bag.
"Help me make him drink this" Belenor said urgently and watched as Rozarko pulled Legolas up.
"Drink what Belenor is giving you" Rozarko said to him, not knowing if Legolas would hear him.
But Legolas drank the viral, and Rozarko settled him against his chest again, soothing him while sending Belenor a questionable look.
"I gave him a strong painkilling viral" Belenor asked, "I will know more of his condition when the viral have taken effect, it should only me a couple of minutes".
They waited, and Rozarko kept soothing Legolas as he kept writhe in pain. But soon he calmed down, breathing heavily against Rozarko's chest.
"Legolas?" Belenor asked gently, getting the prince's attention, "the pains, was they located to your stomach only?".
Legolas nodded.
"Where precisely?" Belenor asked.
"Left" Legolas said hoarsely, "but shooting all over".
Belenor nodded, "my I feel your stomach?" he asked.
Legolas took a shuddering breath, closed his eyes and nodded. Rozarko closed his arms protectively around Legolas, combing his fingers through his hear, which seemed to calm him down as Belenor pulled the shirt up and started feeling around Legolas' stomach. Legolas grunted and groan from time to time when Belenor reached an especially sore point. Belenor pulled the shirt down and sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh.
"Legolas?" he asked, once again getting his attention, "how long has it been since you last… well… was on the toilet?".
"What?" Legolas exclaimed almost horrified, Belenor had never asked him that before.
"Well, you seemed rather constipated" Belenor concluded.
"Shit" Legolas breathed, looking away.
"Well, yeah, shit" Belenor said, trying hard to suppress a smile from the comment Legolas had just made, "and it needs to come out at some point, you cannot keep it in forever. How long has it been, days? Weeks?".
Legolas breathed deeply, "a couple of weeks, maybe".
Belenor sighed and rose from the bed. He went for the fireplace to warm some water, and then went through his bag to gather some herbs, and blending them with the water. He returned to the bed with a bug of the blend.
"This is going to get your intestinal system started" Belenor said as he placed the mug on the bedside table, "and rather fast, so I will need a little help".
"From whom?" Legolas asked tersely, carefully watching the mug.
"I have Girion and Mirthral standing outside the door, as well as two healers from the infirmary who has treated you countless of times before. But the choice is yours".
"Why, thank you" Legolas said dryly, taking a few moments to think, "Girion and Mirthral" Legolas then said.
"Very well" Belenor said as he walked out of the bedroom and reentered with the two blond elves.
Girion and Mirthral immediately looked to the bed, glad to see that Rozarko was getting close to Legolas again. But the eyes Legolas sent them made them stop dead in their tracks, and swallow thickly.
"What is about to happen" Legolas warned them, using his commanding voice, one that lead to no questions at all, "will never leave this room, understood?".
"Yes sir" they both responded as warriors with and inclined their heads, Legolas then nodded to Belenor, letting them know they could turn to him now.
"Make him drink the tea" Belenor said to Rozarko as he turned to Mirthral and Girion, "Legolas is severely constipated, and have properly been that for a couple of weeks, suppressing his need too… well… you know".
Both Mirthral and Girion shot a quick glance at Legolas, and then back at Belenor.
"We need to relieve him" he told, "It is cursing him pain, and can lead to infection if it stays like that. I have mixed a tea with laxative, it will work fast, so I need your help making sure everything goes smoothly".
They both nodded.
"I need hot water, towels, properly a lot, clots and clean bandages" Belenor told and watches as they both went into the bathroom to gather what Belenor had requested.
Legolas had by now emptied the mug, and Rozarko handed it back to Belenor.
"What should I do?" Rozarko asked.
"Stay where you are" Belenor replied with a small smile, "try to keep him down. It will properly hurt, even tear up the wounds inside him, and we have to work fast to clean it up, or he can get infected".
Rozarko nodded and kept combing his fingers through Legolas hair. Mirthral and Girion walked back to the bedroom with the items Belenor had asked for, and then they went to get ready.
"I am going to remove your blanket, Legolas" Belenor told, and with a nod from Legolas, he removed the blanked covering him. Belenor turned to Mirthral and Girion.
"It is important we tell Legolas what we are doing" Belenor told them, "especially if we are going to touch him".
They both nodded in understanding.
"We need to get some towels under him" Belenor said, "but first, Legolas, I am going to remove your trousers".
That caused Legolas to tens, but nevertheless, he stayed calm until Belenor took hold of the waistband and started pulling them down. Legolas flinched and made a move to turn away from Belenor.
"Remember, it's only Belenor" Rozarko soothed.
Legolas try to calm down, and a small sound of distress sounded from him as Belenor pulled the trousers off him.
"I am going to remove the bandages" Belenor told as he started with the outer layers just covering his behind. Legolas' breathing was increasing, and Rozarko try to soothe.
"I am going to remove the one inside now" Belenor said, removing the one rolled together and stopped inside. Legolas flinched and tensed as he slowly removed it, a groan of pain, despair and anger escaped him.
He got rid of the old bandages, there were only a small amount of blood on them, and then covered Legolas with a sheet. Belenor walked into the bathroom to wash his hands. Girion and Mirthral was standing behind Legolas, giving him some space for now, knowing Belenor would call for them when he needed their help. Belenor walked back into the bedroom, taking a short look at Legolas, but then walking over to bag, taking different oils and herbs out. Girion walked over to the fire, taking the put of boiling water and placing it on the table in front of Belenor. The healer thanked him, and poured something into a bowel, and mixed different herbs into it and made a new paste. In another bowel he added more water and crushed different herb in, and added some oils as well. A smell of forest soon filled the room, pine and flowers. Belenor placed the bowel beside Legolas on the bedside table.
"Here" he said, "this will hopefully help keep you calm as we go on".
Legolas looked at Belenor with gratitude, "thank you" he whispered as he breathed in. The smells were soothing, and he somewhat calmed down a little. But then Legolas felt his stomach clench, and a small gash escaped him. Rozarko looked down, and saw that Legolas had closed his eyes tightly, breathing heavily.
Belenor saw the signs and moved behind Legolas, taking the paste and some oils with him, telling Mirthral to take some more towels. Belenor crawled onto the bed and kneeled behind Legolas, who saw by now moving uncomfortable, his arms around his stomach.
"Legolas" Belenor said gently, "I need to feel your stomach".
Legolas nodded and moved his arms and instead took hold of Rozarko. Belenor felt different parts of Legolas' stomach, nodding to Mirthral and Girion, who also climbed up to the bed, kneeling behind Legolas. Legolas groaned and pressed his face into Rozarko's chest. Belenor took some towels and placed them behind Legolas, ready for what was about to happen. He was still covered by the sheet, and Belenor felt him once more on the stomach, adding a small pressure at the lower, left part. This made Legolas groan again as pain and pressure flared through him.
"I am removing the sheet now, Legolas" Belenor told and removed the sheet, "I am going to place a towel between your legs".
Legolas did not react, and Belenor placed the towel, feeling as Legolas once again tensed and flinched away at the touch. It saddened Belenor to see Legolas so afraid of him touching him, but quickly pushed the feelings down when Legolas began to cringe as pain and discomfort flared through his stomach.
"Legolas" Belenor told, "to not fight against it, take a deep breath".
Legolas tried to do as Belenor told and took a deep breath.
"You're supposed to released it again" Belenor almost scolded.
Legolas released the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. The moment he did, his body relaxed just enough, and he felt as something warm ran out of him. Legolas held back the urge to whimper, and pressed his face even further into Rozarko's chest. Rozarko kept comping his fingers through his hair, holding his other hand in Legolas'.
At first Belenor saw it was old, partly clotted blood, but soon after water thin faeces started to run as well. He used a towel to catch what was coming, and a wet cloth Mirthral handed him to clean Legolas when it stopped again. It had only been a very small amount, and Belenor knew it was far from enough.
"Legolas?" he asked, "can you push a little?".
"What?" Legolas growled dangerously, almost sending chills down Belenor's spine.
"I need you to, Legolas" Belenor told gently.
Legolas took a deep breath, and tried slowly to do as Belenor has told. He closed his eyes and held on to Rozarko almost desperately. But then something inside him snapped, sending shooting pain from behind and all the way through his stomach. His body became completely limp for a moment, and Legolas could not help the scream of utter pain that escaped him.
"Shit!" Belenor exclaimed as fresh blood started flowing out of Legolas, "towels!" he ordered as both Girion and Mirthral quickly handed him towels.
"Couldn't you have used another curse?" Legolas growled, his voice muffled by Rozarko's chest.
Belenor snorted as he added pressure the stop the bleeding, but Legolas once again started to writhe as pain flared and discomfort flared through him.
"Belenor" Legolas breathed between gasps.
Belenor looked up alarmed, Legolas was getting pale, and short of breath.
"Can't… hold…" he panted, sweat appearing on his forehead.
"Mirthral" Belenor turned to the honey-blonde elf, "keep pressing towel against his behind".
Mirthral did as told, and watched as Belenor bent over Legolas, placing a hand on his back, and one on the lower, left part of his stomach.
"I am going to ad pressure, Legolas" Belenor told.
"Stop talking and just get it over with!" Legolas growled.
Belenor spared no time, and pressed his hand from up and down, trying to press what was inside down and out. Legolas' screamed as pain once more flared through him. Mirthral quickly switches towels Girion was handing him, and clean what came out of Legolas. It was a mixture of fresh blood and faeces. Belenor kept massaging and adding pressure to Legolas stomach, until no more than blood came out.
"Belenor!" Rozarko suddenly voiced urgent.
Belenor looked up and saw that Legolas had gone completely limp, he hadn't notice when that had happened.
"Does he have a pulse?" Belenor asked frantic.
Rozarko's hand darted up to feel Legolas' neck.
"Yes" he answered, "but it's faint and beating rapidly".
Belenor nodded and turned his attention to Mirthral, who did everything to stop the bleeding, constantly switching towels and adding pressure.
"Lay him down" Belenor told Rozarko, and the chocolate-brown haired elf did as told.
Belenor then turned to the paste he had mixed earlier, and dipped a rolled together bandage in it.
"Belenor" Mirthral called frantic, and the royal healer whipped around to see Legolas cramping badly. Rozarko was holding his head in place, and Girion his legs, while Mirthral still tried to stop the bleeding. Belenor jumped of off the bed and ran to his bag, taking out a viral. He then turned and ran to Legolas, taking hold of his jaws, and doing his best to make the prince drink it. He was not sure how much Legolas sank and how much dropped beside him, but some was better than nothing. Suddenly, Legolas became limp, all too fast Belenor thought, and felt for Legolas' pulse, he found none. He then felt under his nose with his chin, there was no breathing and no rise and fall of his chest either.
"Roll him over!" Belenor ordered urgent.
None doubted what had happened, and what they should do. When Legolas was on his back, Belenor ripped his shirt apart and started pumping on his chest, thirty times, and then he stopped. Rozarko blew air into Legolas mouth to times, and watched as Belenor started to pump again.
"We need assistance" Belenor breathed.
Girion jumped off the bed and ran for the door to the corridor, almost slamming into Anglond who stood watch just outside. The two healers were still there, and Girion looked urgently at them.
"The crownprince is in cardiac arrest" Girion said quickly, "we need assistance, now!".
The two healers ran all that they could towards the infirmary, getting the help they needed. Girion shot a quick glance at Anglond, all color from his face gone, before he went inside and closed the door.
o0o
Thranduil jumped when he heard a scream of pain and distress from inside Legolas' bedroom. But then the sounds quieted down. Lucien had been sleeping on the couch, and he bolted upright at the sound, but looked confused at the door when no other sounds was heard. Thranduil started pacing the floor again, he had tried his best to be patient, and give Legolas the peace he needed. But not knowing what was going on, and what had happened to Legolas was tearing him apart.
Another scream sounded, and this time frantic voices followed. He heard the door to the corridor being opened, but could not hear what was being said. Then he heard someone run down the corridor. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, he felt like it would brake if it not slowed down soon. He wanted to open the door and see what happened, but knew if they stood in some kind of emergency, he should not interfere.
After what felt like hours, the door to the bedroom opened. Belenor stood in the opening, looking exhausted and strained. Blood was covering his clothing, arms and hands. He immediately searched for the king, and their eyes locked.
Thranduil had a hand covering his mouth in disbelief.
"My King" Belenor started, his voice shaking a bit, "prince Legolas went into cardiac arrest ten minutes ago".
"No" Thranduil breathed.
"We are still trying to revive him" Belenor continued, "but he has lost a lot of blood, and time are running out".
"What are you saying?" Thranduil whispered, all color from his face drained.
"I am not sure he will survive" Belenor said, "and if we manage to revive him, I am not sure what condition his brain will be in considering the amount of time that had passed. He made get some brain damages".
"May I see him?" Thranduil asked, using all his will to keep his feelings and emotions in place.
Belenor nodded and stepped aside.
Inside the bedroom, the bed was covered in blood, and bloodied towels was laying in a pile on the floor as well. Healers was filling the bedroom quite well, one of emergency team of healers present. They would assist in emergencies like cardiac arrest, having trained in these crises, and having the right medicine on them as well.
Thranduil was shocked at the scene playing out in front of him. A healer was pumping on his son's chest, another ready to blow air inside his mouth. A healer filled a syringe with a viral, and walked to Legolas' arm.
"Giving another dose" the healer announced as the pressed the needle skillfully into a vain, and slowly pressed the viral inside.
"Allow me" Thranduil said as he neared his son.
"My king?" Belenor asked.
"Some of my powers may be helpful right now".
Belenor just nodded, trusting his king, and watched as he placed his hand over Legolas' heart. A deep blue light started to glow under his hand, and into Legolas. Not long after, Legolas took a deep breath. Thranduil removed his hand and stepped away, feeling slight dizzy, and felt a healer grab him and guide him to a chair.
Legolas' breathing intensified, and Belenor stepped in.
"Legolas" he called, "calm your breathing".
Legolas tried, ad managed to calm somewhat down.
"I am giving you a dose of a viral to steady your heartbeat" a healer said to his left, he was not sure he knew who it was. Then he looked around. His room was filled with healers, Rozarko, Mirthral and Girion was sitting against the wall by the door to the corridor, looking frightened and strained, blood covered part of their clothing. Legolas turned to the other side, just as he felt the healer press the needle into a vain in his arm. He tried to stay calm with so many around him. But felt panic start to rise inside him, his eyes immediately sought out those wise and kind ones of Belenor, who saw just what Legolas was pleading to him.
"Everyone who do not have a job to do, leave now" Belenor ordered. As Rozarko rose and moved to walk out, Belenor pointed sharply at him, "you, stay" he ordered. Inclining his head, Rozarko sat himself down at the edge of the bed.
The healers from the emergency team all left, along with Girion and Mirthral. Thranduil made a move to stand.
"Wait" Legolas whispered hoarsely, getting the attention of his father, "I… lack… words" Legolas managed to say, he felt tired and exhausted.
Thranduil just shook his head.
"No need" he said, "now rest, and I you allow, I would like to see you when you feel better".
Legolas nodded tiredly, and watched as his father walked out of the bedroom.
"You need to rest, Legolas" Belenor said, "we all do, you gave us quite a scare".
"Sorry about that" Legolas yawned. Feeling as sleep soon overtook him.
"Go clean up" Belenor said to Rozarko, "I will stay and clean him up a bit while you're gone, but I think he would prefer if you stayed with him tonight".
Rozarko nodded tiredly and went to use Legolas bathroom. When he returned, he saw that Belenor had cleaned all blood off Legolas, checked the bleeding had stopped, removed all bloodied towels and sheets, and putted clean clothing on Legolas as well. Inclining his head in gratitude, Rozarko laid heavily down on the bed beside Legolas, almost instantly falling asleep.