Chapter 14: Law and Order

The Gullwings' new home included a rooftop view of the headquarters, as well as a helipad, home to a mysterious blank space where Rikku doesn't even attempt to park the Chocobo. In his bathrobe, Sora leaned against the railing, taking a retrospective moment to appreciate the trouble he was in. For sure, it was a lot better than a pit cell in Space Paranoids. More so, miles better than clashing swords with Shan Yu, whose foul breath could be smelt from throwing distance. Already known to him, a squadron of S.E. helicopters had been dispatched to come collect Sora. Meanwhile, footsteps told him he wasn't alone on the roof anymore.

Without turning around, Sora said, "You know, I never found my shirt."

"Oh? At least the rest of your outfit's clean," Kairi said, bringing up his folded jacket and pants. "Also, I hosed down your boots. I implore you do it more often."

"Understood," said Sora. "You'd think those guys would be tired of seein' me."

"Maybe that's what they want to talk about. Getting rid of us once and for all."

Sora didn't hesitate to dismiss that notion. "No way they'd let you go over this. But…there will still be brand new consequences. Because of us, we broke rules they didn't even know existed."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Then let's get this over with and try not to break anymore. And hey…" She leaned in close. "You look hot, tonight."

Sora cracked up. "But…it's still daytime."

She shook her head, looking off to the incoming choppers. "Just hold on to that…for later."

-X-

The choppers transported both their subjects to S.E. Headquarters in record time and also in separate choppers. After touching down on a freshly waxed helipad, each chopper released its respective detainee into a throng of guards ready to escort them straight to trouble. However, there was also someone else in the crowd awaiting their arrival; he was one of the company's higher-ups, fully clad in samurai armor.

After being released, Sora and Kairi were ushered in front of the chief official, whom they recognized.

"Hey, Yasue," said Kairi with a wretched look.

"You know the drill. Single file, my office." With that, Yasue turned and led them inside the gargantuan building.

Sora went first, letting Kairi and the flanks of guards follow him. After a few twisty-turnzees, they arrived at a door with a non-transparent window, like that of a principal's office or commissioner.

Though some guards tried to follow them in, Yasue wouldn't allow it. And so, within the office, it was just the three of them.

"Guys, what the fuck?" Yasue gasped.

Kairi started babbling, "We had a crazy day, I know—but it was all because of me! I'm the one who trespassed in Capcom World, and Sora was just trying to get me out of trouble! And then this Nemesis guy…or thing kept trying to kill me, there was a pervy guy with white hair, and a Scottish boob-lady—"

"Hush." Yasue took a deep breath. "There will be a High Council meeting starting in thirty minutes, and some Capcom devs may show up to ensure we punish you two correctly."

Kairi brought up, "Hey, what about Aqua? She was all in, too!"

"As if we know where she is—besides, she's BEEN allowed outside campus! And like I said, you've been summoned to the High Council…. Kairi, get off your phone!"

"Sorry!" she apologized. "It's just that I'm not the only thing trending right now. Apparently, Terra, Xemnas, and Ansem went on a killing spree in the middle of Destiny Dorm's courtyard!"

"And?" said an impatient Yasue.

Sora intervened, "And? And—aren't you going to do anything about that?"

"Hm…we shall see about it. But for right now, clearing up your misadventures in Capcom is our main priority."

Sora scoffed. "Right, so we cause a little property damage in another world, and it's a whole civil case. Terra literally kills a bunch of your characters, and he gets to walk scot-free?! Not to mention, that sonuva bitch actually stabbed me with his Keyblade!" Sora stood up and expanded his jacket but forgot the scar had already healed itself. "Oh, yeah. Well, imagine a wicked scar right here, and you get the picture. And it was cutscene-bad!"

"Why is everyone stabbing each other with Keyblades today?" Yasue asked. "Warriors of light do NOT use their weapons for wanton destruction!"

Kairi shrugged and admitted, "I don't know about him, but I felt tingly-tingles when Sora stabbed me. Sorta like being electrocuted without all the overcooked side-effects."

Sora pressed on, "Look, I've been fighting Disney villains and other Videogame Superstars literally since I woke up this morning. If anything, I'm the victim—you're a weirdo, by the way, Kairi—I'm the victim in all this. Did I not mention that Terra's jealousy is the reason I got dropped into the Realm of Darkness in the first place? Geez…. Just trying to escape that place, I had to fight Ursula, Oogie Boogie, Jafar, Scar, Shan-Yu…the pirate guy, too! And don't get me started on the people I faced in Capcom…"

Yasue countered, "First off, for God's sakes—put on a shirt." Reaching into his desk drawer, Yasue took out a dark blue shirt and gave it to Sora (his Kingdom Hearts III shirt). Then, he went on, "Second, Capcom is especially pissed off because you engaged their chief devil hunter in a street brawl without paid promotions. A fight with Dante will always attract Capcom's attention, and you exploited that. And third, in their efforts to arrest you—"

"Kill me," Sora corrected.

"You wound up causing not only exuberant amounts of property damage—but you also sparked a skirmish between Vergil and Dante, the twin half-demons, who, once again, need paid promotions to engage in a fight."

"Okay, that last one wasn't even my fault. They placed a bounty on me, therefore they should expect bad shit to happen."

"Never mind who's at fault. Since Capcom is a rival company to our own, they are most definitely a force to be reckoned with. Goddamit, Sora! Put the shirt on!"

Sighing, the Keyblade-wielder said, "Fine," and put the shirt on.

Yasue went on, "It's best we leave for the council meeting early. Also, fourth, which pirate guy were you talking about?"

"The one from Jack's world," Sora's response came after wracking his brain. "As for Hook, I think Aqua killed him on accident."

"Fair enough. Both of you, follow me."

-X-

They departed from the office and took an elevator to the parking garage. Escorted by a small militia of Square Enix security guards, the steep-in-trouble couple were then ushered into the back of a black van, one of many scattering the enclosed lot.

While stepping in the van, Sora quipped, "What, are we fighting the Avengers next?"

"Good one, Sora," replied one of the security guards, chuckling.

"Thanks, Mendoza."

"Yeah, good one, Sora," Kairi threw in, sounding less pleased than the guard.

Sora sat down next to his fellow detainee, pointing out, "Look on the bright side, Kairi. I got my shirt back."

"I wasn't worried about your stupid shirt. We are in so much trouble, Sora! Who knows what's gonna happen to us?"

"I know exactly what they're gonna do," Sora replied. "I'm gonna get kicked out of HQ, and you're gonna have stricter rules for a while."

"You really think they'll banish you—?"

"Wait," said Yasue, staring them down from outside the van. "Put them in separate vans."

Sora sighed and exclaimed, "C'mon, we're not even thinking about escaping—"

"Seize her," Yasue commanded.

Kairi was seized against her will; she squeezed Sora's hand before departing. However, after drawing back her own hand, she looked down to see him making a ring with his thumb and index finger.

Scoffing, Kairi said through a smile, "You bitch."

-X-

After a quick trip through an endless amount of parking garage scenery, the convoy of vans arrived at another section of headquarters. As the passengers exited each vehicle, they formed a mob of mostly-dressed-in-black individuals, save for Sora and Kairi.

They came face-to-face with another elevator; entering it, Sora said, "Up, we go."

"Silence until we get there," Yasue ordered.

"Stay quiet now, talk your ear off later? Sounds good to me."

Yasue merely growled behind his samurai mask.

-X-

"The World of Capcom finds the actions of the accused Superstars heinous beyond a doubt…"

"Heinous," Sora mouthed at the distressed girl beside him. With an impressed smile for all to see, Sora nudged Kairi's arm a total of five times while he kept whispering the word "heinous" to her.

"Knock it off!" Kairi suddenly shrieked amid the game developers' admonishing.

With his shenanigans effectively ended, Sora crossed his arms and tried to take things more seriously. Of the audience of game developers surrounding Sora and Kairi, several individuals from Capcom's side exclaimed:

"He's not even taking this seriously!"

"That boy is a fire-starter!"

"Kill him and sell him for parts!"

The superintendent of the Square Enix High Council, the honorable Matsuda (also wearing expensive samurai armor) slammed his gavel before bellowing, "Order in the Chamber of Enix!"

-X-

The proceedings from Sora's trial went south, to the say the least. He was exiled. Well, technically, self-exiled. Not even giving them the chance to throw him out, Sora stood up from his chair and simply walked out the door, giving Kairi a look that said, "Don't follow me, but see ya later." At first, Matsuda protested by calling the guards, but Yasue advised against that, seeing as how Sora had proved all day just how dangerous he could be. They allowed him to leave unbothered.

Still without a cellphone, Sora paced down a catwalk that led to a spacious helipad. Smirking up at the bright, daytime sky, he stood on the helipad's edge, watching a certain yellow object in the distance approach at a steady speed.

It was the Chocobo gummi ship, courtesy of the Gullwings. Watching their aircraft loom nearer and nearer until he could make out Yuna's face in the cockpit, Sora cheered, "All right, just in time!"

The flying Chocobo did a one-eighty to reveal its opened ass-latch, which held an eager Rikku betwixt its rectal threshold.

"Tell. Us. Everything!" Rikku begged, followed by 2B's round of questioning.

"What happened in there? Did they give you prison time? Are you still in Kingdom Hearts III? Where'd you get that shirt?"

Rubbing his sore temples, Sora coaxed, "Please, one thing at a time…"

"Where's Kairi?" Paine asked.

"Probably still getting sentenced."

"Geez, what's taking them so long?" Paine pondered out loud.

Sora shrugged. "She's got a lot more explaining to do, I guess." He changed the subject, "Hey, ya mind if I hitch a ride?"

Yuna appeared in the ass-latch, assuring, "Sure thing! Where to?"

"OvercrossFit University."

-X-

Vergil returned to his desk at OvercrossFit University, and he couldn't exactly call his day disappointing. At least not so far. He had basically destroyed the myth that Keyblade wielders were invincible. Skewering them both wasn't in his initial goals, but as Dante would say, "Icing on the cake."

His cubicle office housed random junk like stress toys, motivational posters, and pictures of him with his students. He sat down at his desk, a U-shaped flat surface with stacks upon stacks of papers. He still hadn't finished grading those tests.

Vergil let out a sigh. "Those poor fools. Oh, well. Keyblade Master or not…that was one hell of a show!"

That's when a fellow instructor by the name of Geese Howard passed by his cubicle, stopping by to chat, "So, I heard you killed that Keyblade kid and his girlfriend. Tell me something, did they scream like little piggies?"

"Will it make you feel better if I say yes?"

"Hell yeah!" said Geese, a tall blonde man in a purple suit and white vest.

Vergil raised his eyebrow. "I didn't know you knew about the Keyblade."

"Eh, it's a ridiculous weapon with an even more ridiculous story behind it. Apparently, it's stupid powers are passed down from one Keyblade wielder to the next through some sort of poetic ritual, or something. But get this, that kid you killed didn't even do the ritual to get his, at least that's what I heard."

Intrigued, Vergil asked, "Then how did he acquire his power to wield the Keyblade?"

"It chose him," said Geese. "Those damn Squeenixians are just making up their abilities as they go!"

"No kidding," said Vergil, unaffected by this tidbit. "Say, did you ever look into that report on Monster Hunter World opening a zoo?"

"Yeah, I did actually. Says it supposed to be up in a year. Why, ya thinkin' about takin' Aloy?"

"Hm…. We shall see."

-X-

Meanwhile, Kairi found herself still in the hot seat long after Sora dipped. Apparently, the Square Enix higher ups were awaiting the arrival of a Capcom VIP. Matsuda had told her how important it was for her to speak with this particular person but did not give away his or her name, which made Kairi nervous. She was not trying to see the guy in the blue coat again.

Finally after what felt like hours, the chamber's doors opened to reveal a throng of Capcom guards transporting a containment box, a shed-sized glass structure with curtains enshrouding its mysterious interior. Kairi felt her heart drop.

Matsuda cleared his throat, telling the anxious princess, "As I stated before, the devs of Capcom have sent a very special individual to talk with you. I hope you're willing to listen."

"Sure thing," said an unsure Kairi.

That's when she noticed the red and white Umbrella insignia on the guards' uniforms. That reminded her of Chris Redfield, but no way he was in the box. And just as the guards withdrew the curtains, it dawned on Kairi that her nightmare still wasn't over.

"Stars…"