A/N: Um, sorry it's taken so long. This was really hard to write, since it required a certain emotional state from me to compose it. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who liked chapter seven!
To the reviewers: Thank you all so much. You keep me going on this, and I really can't tell you how much I appreciate your positive feedback. I'm so spoilt, but I love it. :D
To a few in particular, who asked questions or wrote really long reviews (sorry I can't answer all of you anymore, but if I did it would take a few more days for me to post this chapter) –
Duchess-Emily: You rock, and I enjoyed emailing you. I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been so bad about writing of all kinds lately (school you know, it just does that)! Hope this chapter lives up. ParvisSira: Er, no…he's not cheating on her. Though that's a good idea! It's just not quite where this fic is going. It's so awesome that you noticed Ginny adapting to fit Lucius' lifestyle and personality. That rocks my socks, I thought no one had noticed. :D Eryn: Thank you so much for encouraging me to write, and finish this fic. You know I love you. :) slate-one: ::buzzer:: Nope, sorry. I assumed they were smart enough to use contraceptive spells. But you'll see. ;) Daughter of Doom: I know, I write way slow. I wrote nice and fast at first, but then life got in the way (darn life!). Thank you for your sweet comments about my writing style! Quills 'N Ink: Oh wow. Yay, another one joins the ranks! Glad you stuck with it. :) The Mad Madame: Oh yes, very astute. Good thinking! Thanks for reading. Jo: Oh those have to be the best comments I've gotten in a long time! :D Thank you terrifically. My writing ego definitely needed the boost. :D I do know one other good Lucius story, written by my friend RunespoorOracle. She's reviewed a few times, so if you just locate her screen name then you can peruse her (all very well-done) works. Red Satin and Black Silk: You shall see, oh yes, you shall see. ;)
Disclaimer: I still don't own it. But I'm going to own a copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in less than seven months!
Chapter fourteen – Stigmata
It was a surprisingly cold spring. After a few days of warmth and the promise of pleasant afternoons dotted with white, puffy clouds and the fresh smell of budding spring flowers, the weather took a turn for the worse and the delicate buds and small shoots of green grass were all but destroyed by freezing rain and sleet. Winter lingered on every tree branch, in the sky, and in within the looming, dark towers of Malfoy Manor, where it was necessary to keep fires going and warm blankets on the bed far later into the season than usual. The frost crept onto the windowpanes once more in the pattern of ferns, and early in the morning the trees were as silvery white as a fabled fairy city, the few leaves that had adorned them turning brown and yellow and dropping off as if infested by the ghosts of autumn, who would not see their woods turn to spring.
Losing track of time and now the seasons, Ginny often found herself confused into thinking it was the fall season all over again, only to remember with a start that it was, in fact, spring. She spent long hours by the fire, reading and writing, as her days became a lethargic haze of boredom and loneliness. Lucius spent every weekday at the ministry, keeping regular work hours. At home he was often quiet and melancholy, his social inclinations at a minimum. In the beginning he seemed to enjoy getting away from home to work, but as the task dragged out Ginny became aware of some underlying distress on his part, though he wouldn't speak a word of it to her.
He was becoming distant again, almost as much so as he had been when she first arrived, though far less conversational. Their intimacy became infrequent, as fatigue came over him from working harder than he had in years. At night they sat in the drawing room as they once had, reading and relaxing, always separate, only a few words passing between them. Ginny stared at him in the long silences, watching the shadows under his eyes darken day by day.
And yet sometimes in bed at night Lucius clung to her as if holding on to his very life. No matter what doubts had sprung into her mind during the day, they vanished instantly, her heart melted, and she felt she belonged to him entirely.
On several occasions she begged to be allowed to accompany him to the Ministry. "Both my parents work there!" she protested one morning. "They don't have to know I'm with you, but I know they would love to see me…" She trailed off at his silence, the look in his eyes telling her all she needed to know.
"Lucius," she sighed, "I'm so tired of being alone." For one moment his resolve melted and he gathered her to him in his arms with a great sigh. "They would ask too many questions, my dear," he said at length, kissing the top of her head. He mentally kicked himself - he had almost relented in his desire for her happiness. He knew she hated staying alone all day long, and indeed, he hated being separated from her. But how could he tell her without giving her false hope? He would never allow her out of the house. Never.
…
Ginny pulled her cloak on over her satin nightgown, shivering in the crisp morning air. Lucius was already gone and his side of the bed was cold and empty and no longer comfortable to sleep in. She padded across the chilly wood floor with bare feet and rooted around in the closet for a pair of worn, lace-up brown boots which she quickly slipped on her feet, tying them carelessly in her haste. She grabbed a knobbly brown and maroon woolen hat from her dresser drawer – a Christmas present from Hermione in their Hogwarts days, hand knitted - and plunked it unceremoniously on her head, over her tousled red hair.
It took her only a moment to run down the three flights of stairs, and another to slip out the kitchen door before Cappy accosted her with breakfast.
The hem of her cloak became wet and heavy as it dragged over the dewy grass, but she didn't notice. Morning walks were her wont of late, early, sometimes even before Lucius had left. Somehow the day's confinement seemed easier to bear when it followed a brisk walk in the open countryside.
She picked out a deer path and followed it through the woods, pulling her cloak tightly around herself in the cold wind. She knew not whither she wandered, only that the trees called to her in a language felt deep within. She brushed aside branches and bracken with gloveless hands, cold and pale as marble in the early morning frost.
The path lead through the copse and into a dry creek bed, a seeming path in itself. Ginny paused to stare down at the mossy undergrowth, her mind wandering beyond the trees and the cold morning.
Where was I at this time a year ago?
School. Preparing for NEWTS.
She sighed. It seemed like years since then, not a mere twelve months.
I was happy then, she thought.
Was she not happy now? Certainly not when she languished for hours alone in the cold and dark manor. But surely Lucius made her happy?
Did he?
She sighed again. Yes, he had when he was home, when he was her constant companion…but now…she hated being alone. All her life she'd been surrounded by people, her large family, the students at Hogwarts, the Order. The darkness seemed farther away when she was surrounded by people…the darkness that threatened to envelop her at any time.
Get a grip, she told herself, plodding along.
At length she came to a clearing and paused to master her thoughts. She didn't know how much longer of the cold, wet dark she could take – it struck one through to the bones, and the heart. I have to get out of the cold for a while, she thought.
There was a building ahead of her. It was ancient by the look of it, an old servant's quarters perhaps, or some sort of out building.
She tried the door when she reached it, and to her surprise found it unlocked and easy to move. She stepped inside, feeling the hard, ridged pattern of a stone floor beneath the soles of her shoes. Turning, her breath was taken away by what she saw.
Brilliant sun peeking through a hole in the cloud cover filtered through a large, delicately paned stained glass window, casting light in a dozen pastel colours over Ginny and the wall behind her. At the far end of the room, which was not terribly large but was sizable enough for its purpose, was an alter made of stone and beside it a marble table for lighting votive candles. Any candles that had been there had long since rotted away, or been carried off by mice, but Ginny knew its use nonetheless. The thing that most caught her eye, though, was the crucifix on the wall behind the alter. It was a beautiful thing of painted stone, and seemed almost living in the light cast by the stained glass window. The sad-eyed Christ stared at her, almost as if it could see her sins and offered its silent forgiveness.
She choked, suddenly filled to the brim with tears she didn't even know she had. The weight of her sudden outburst bowed her to the ground, and there she lay, prostrated before the image, crying as if a reservoir in her soul had been opened up.
My God, my God, she cried, what is this darkness in my heart?
The image gave her no reply, but stared at her still. Through her tears it almost seemed to be crying with her.
Cried out at last, Ginny wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and stood up, silent as the stone figure, and made her way back to the manor.
She would find some candles and return later, when it was warmer.
Closing A/N: My poor Eryn was wondering if I would ever actually write more. This chapter was difficult to compose as I mentioned, and I know its short, but at least you guys know I'm still working on it. The end is coming soon. :D I just have to build it properly. With school and everything I can't promise the next will be out any sooner, but I'll really try to write it in a reasonable time. Hopefully everyone who was reading this silly little story of mine hasn't forgotten about it by now! :D