I know. I haven't written in so long and I am so so so sorry. Yes, I had my hospital thing and thank you so much for everyone's comments and patience, but I obviously wasn't there this whole time… The truth is, and I am not trying to use this as an excuse and I am not sure if you even care,

But I did get involved in a relationship. I'm a freshman girl, and so you know how that goes. The entire time I wasn't myself and it made me insane, I even thought I might have been bipolar. But that relationship has since ended and now I have had a month to wallow over it, I think it's time to move on and get back to the way things were no matter what, and this is where I felt like I should begin. So if you are reading this now, or even wanting to continue reading my story, I really love you.

PS- You should read it and live vicariously through Bella and Edward's love, because for those of you who don't know, real guys ARENT LIKE THAT,

Thanks. On with the story, then.

I ran out of the house as fast as I could, finished sobbing in the empty and dark bedroom that I was left in… that my…rapist… had abandoned me in.

It felt completely insane, like an out of body experience. It hurt.

Alice was in the car, waiting for me. I got in and had barely sat down before she asked,

"Oh my god! Bella, what is it? What's happened? Are you okay?"

"No, Alice. I'm not okay. Can we please go home," I asked in a small, raspy voice.

"Of course," she said, and silently, we drove back to her house.

We climbed the stairs, which hurt a little, and went into her bedroom. She shut the door behind her and I knew she wouldn't let this go. But should I tell her? I knew that this was serious, but it was also embarrassing. Could I have done more to stop it? If only I hadn't gone to the bathroom, or the party at all… If only I hadn't let Alice make me up. Maybe someone had seen me at the party, followed me up the stairs and…

I had no clue what to do. My mind was racing.

"Bella. I am your best friend, and I know that something is wrong," Alice said. I hugged myself. She came and sat on the bed next to me.

"Please, Bella. What is it?"

Slowly, I lifted my head.

"Alice… I… I just got… raped." I managed to get out before I burst into tears.

There was a moment of shocked silence and all of a sudden, her arms were around me, and she was crying, too. We stayed like that for a few more minutes as she let me let everything out onto her shoulder.

"Bella, I am so sorry." I stayed silent.

"What exactly happened?"

More silence.

"You have to tell me, Bella," she pleaded.

"I was upstairs looking for the bathroom, and I couldn't see because it was dark and I bumped into somebody and they pulled me into a room."

"You have no idea who it was?"

"No."

"Well, we have to tell someone."

"Alice! No, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this!"

She looked at me with pity.

"No, Bella. You have tot ell somebody. If you don't, who knows how many more people will be raped by this guy? And you deserve justice. Besides… well… did he wear a condom?"

"I don't know! Okay! I don't know anything. Help me, Alice!"

"I am trying! But you really HAVE to tell someone… your dad, the police, Edward-"

"Oh no. Not Edward. He absolutely cannot know."

"Why not? What, do you think he'll be mad at you?"

"No, of course not!"

"Then what is your problem, Bella? He is your boyfriend, who you love, and besides, you won't want him to find out another way, do you?"

"Another way? There will be no other way for him to know."

"Bella, once you tell the police, there's a good chance people will know."

"This is unbelievable. I can't believe I let this happen to me."

"Bella. Look at me. This is not anywhere near being your fault, okay? We are going to go tell your dad when he gets home and you can tell Edward."

"I don't know, Alice."

"You have to."

"Okay. But you have to help me."

"I will."

"Thank you so much, Alice."

On Sunday when Emmett, Carlisle and Edward returned from they're trip, I raced into Edward's arms. He held me tight and kissed my forehead. I suddenly felt the urge to cry again.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you too."

We went up to his room. "Edward… I need to talk to you about something."

He frowned. "What's up? Is everything alright?"

I paused. "I don't really know how to tell you this. But, you know about the party on Friday at Ryan's house?"

"Yeah… did you and Alice end up going? How was it?"

"I… was raped."

He blinked. Silence. And then the outburst,

"WHAT!? WHO DID IT? I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL THAT BASTARD! BELLA, ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Edward, Edward, I need you to calm down. Please, just… just hold me."

His eyes softened again and he took me into his arms.

"Are you going to be okay," he whispered again.

"I think I should go see a doctor… I don't think the guy who did it… I don't think it was safe."

I felt his grip tighten and he nodded.

"I'm glad you told me. I don't want you to ever hide anything like this from me. And I'll come with you."

"Thanks, Edward. I love you." I said.

"I love you so much, Bella."

And so that's it for this chapter. Once again, I apologize. I am so sorry.