"Lines ever more unclear. Not sure I'm even here,' — Keane, Crystal Ball

The next day is a chaotic one.

My stylist, whom I haven't seen in a couple of days, has appeared again – not that I'm that thrilled about it – and spends a whole day fussing over me alongside my prep team.

The interviews are tonight, so everyone, at least on our district's floor is freaking out.

Finnick comes to talk to me twice, both times are about the upcoming interviews. He tells me my exact angle to aim for yet again, and I nod along. I know exactly what I'll be doing, and I hope it'll just come naturally.

Being prepared all day gives me time to think, though, which is both a downside and an upside.

Last night.

Never happened

It was just a mere weakness on at least my part. I can't let feelings get in the way. It's not myself I'm worried about getting hurt, it's Finnegan.

I am secretly protecting him anyway, after all, aren't I?

My mind reverts back to home and the sea.

Mostly the sea.

I remember stories from the sea.

There was this one time that me and Finnick were out fishing and our little boat capsized.

Luckily we weren't that far out, but still.

We swum back to shore, Finnick managing to turn the boat back onto its correct side and drag it back to shallower waters slowly.

But little did he know that during the time he'd been pulling our boat towards me, I'd been collecting seaweed.

So when Finnick finally reached me, I gave him a seaweed hat.

He didn't find this extremely funny, so he got some seaweed himself and plonked it on my head.

I, however, have a sense of humour, so I spent the next 20 minutes doing a catwalk like the ones they do in the Capitol, using seaweed in a variety of ways.

Finnick eventually found the funny side of this, and spent about 10 or so minutes of the 20 laughing in the sand on the beach.

Of course, after safely securing our boat to the small pier nearest where we were sat.

Perhaps when I die I can spend my time thinking of these happy memories.

I'd like that.

Hours and hours and hours pass slowly, and I'm about ready to fall asleep when I'm told that it is FINALLY time to head to the interview!

I'm nervous, of course, and Finnick gives me a talking through again and reassures me that I can do this.

I thank him for his reassurances and try to reassure him by saying that I'll try my best.

To which he replies; 'Remember, don't just try your best, be your best. I know you can do it.'

That's the kind of thing a Finnick in the mentor state of mind would say, not a Finnick who spends 10 minutes laughing at my experiments with seaweed.

And anyway, how can I be my best if it's just a fake persona I portray myself to be just to gain sponsors here in the Capitol?

I'm at my best when I'm near the sea.

I crave it.

The dress I'm wearing for my interview is a floor length creation, which means my practice with Coco should be put to some good use.

The dress highlights the slight curves I never really realised I had, and manages to suit the angle I'm going for perfectly.

It's a bluey green kind of colour, which matches my eyes.

My hair is braided around my head in a nice style, and I pat it as I look into the mirror.

I look decent.

My prep team spend minutes gushing over how I look, and I thank my stylist with a small smile.

I walk slowly to the place where all the other tributes are gathered, ready and awaiting their turn.

I walk, my steps vibrating around me. Slowly.

Alone.

We're all lead onto the stage, where 24 seats are placed in an arc on the curved staging.

I await my interview in complete silence, trying to look a bit confident, but my hands are shaking more than the fish the fisherman back home catch in their huge nets.

I fiddle with my hands and try to relax a little.

Pretend you're just talking to Finnick, I tell myself. Perhaps that'll help.

District 1 have their turns, then District 2, and soon enough it's District 3's tributes' go.

We all have one objective this evening:

Charm the Capitol.

That's the main thing we all set out to do.

District 4... it's me. It's my time.

My time to gain more sponsors and put more toward my effort of saving Finnegan's life.

'The cousin of one of our favourite victors... It's Absidee Odair!' Caesar booms and I step out onto the stage.

I'm overwhelmed by the cheering and clapping. It all sounds like a complete and utter din.

'So, Absidee, how do you feel about your chance in these upcoming Games?'

Confident. Charming.

Be exactly as they'd expect a cousin of Finnick Odair to be.

Do not surprise them.

'Well,' I smile at the audience, which pains me really on the inside, but I hide it. I know I must choose my words carefully. 'I'm confident.'

Caesar smiles at me. I can't help but like him, which really surprises me.

'Two Odair in 5 years? My my, aren't all of us here in the Capitol lucky, eh?' Caesar rouses the crowd, who all cheer and whoop.

I look across the crowd, and can't help but wonder who amongst this crowd has paid to be with Finnick. It takes all my strength not to show some discomfort of some sort on my face.

'I must say, Absidee,' Caesar speaks to me again. 'You look extremely lovely tonight.'

I throw on a grin, and I can almost feel Finnick telepathically nudging me before I say: 'Ah, thank you, Caesar. I must thank my stylist,' i wave out towards my stylist. Pretending to not despise him. 'The same goes for you, and the entire audience here right now.'

The entire crowd shriek and whoop again, and I feel sick to my stomach. Not only with the Capitol, but with myself as well.

Caesar lets out a hearty laugh and I make myself giggle along. 'I'm glad you think so, Absidee!'

I smile graciously.

'So, do you have any family back home? Brothers or sisters?' Caesar asks, and I know he's trying to help me along. Not that I need it, the crowd is hanging onto my every word.

'Yes,' I hear myself say clearly, although I feel like I might break down into tears in a minute. It's taking all my strength to keep this up. 'An older brother, Coby and a little sister, Edrie,' I look straight into the camera. It's time for my heartfelt moment. 'I'd do anything for them.'

And it's true, I would.

By the way the Capitol people in the audience are 'awwing', I know I've reeled them in further.

'So will you try to win these Games for both your sister and your brother then?'

'I will,' I smile widely.

'Will you try to win these Games for your cousin, and mentor?'

'Yes, I definitely will!' I boom, and the crowd's gone crazy by now.

The buzzer rings, much to my relief, it feels as if I might collapse in a minute.

'Thank you so much, Absidee,' Caesar says quickly and quietly to me, and I smile a real smile in reply to him.

'Panem, Absidee Odair of District 4!' he shouts and holds my arm in the air. I smile and wave accordingly, acting as though I'm happy to be here in the Capitol.

It'd be odd to the Capitol if they thought I wasn't happy to be here.

They presume that just because I'm from a Career district, and the cousin of a victor, it means I want to actually be in these Games.

Well, they couldn't be more wrong.

Finnegan's interview goes well as well.

He's aiming for a similar angle to mine as well, charming, but clever as well. He mentions how he helped make some of the nets back home, which makes me yearn for home again.

How how I miss it. So much.

After what seems like years passes, it's time to head up to our separate district floors again.

I sit in the main room, alone, hugging a cushion and biting the inside of my cheek over and over again.

Tomorrow, we enter the arena. Tomorrow is when the nightmares begin.

When we enter the place where horrors are sculptured.

I ponder what the arena will be like.

Will it be as bad as the rumours said?

I can only hope not.

Finnegan must be up on the roof watching the sun set again, as he has yet to come back to our floor.

I don't join him this time, though.

I need to be alone.

No distractions from my own thoughts.

Finnick's out again, and I'm kind of glad.

I won't be able to have a real conversation with him anyway, as he's the 'mentor Finnick', not home's Finnick.

And then I can predict what kind of state he'll be in. An emotional one.

But when you're emotional you do unpredictable things.

I'm not the only one who's changed since we reached the Capitol.

Ever since I was reaped I've been more touchy and irritable.

So I suppose it's kind of good that me and Finnick both have home versions of ourselves, and Capitol versions of ourselves.

So that how we are at home, won't be tainted by how we are in the Capitol.

Not that I need worry about that.

I most likely will not be getting out of the arena again once I'm trapped in it.

Caught like a fish in our fishing nets.

So vulnerable and defenceless.

I go to my room early and lie on my bed, face down.

I scream into my pillow and bang my fists against the mattress I lie on. It doesn't help me get rid of my anger, if anything, it only gives me a sore throat and slightly sore hands.

I can hear Finnegan when he enters our apartment. It seems he's trying to vent his anger the same way as I am.

But a lot more dramatically than I.

He throws things around for about 10 minutes or so, before quieting down.

I walk out of my room to see the main room in a bad state. It could be cleaned quickly, but you'd have to be careful of the sharp shattered glass which is scattered around the place.

Jeez, he must've thrown about 3 vases!

I can't help but smile, despite the circumstances of my impending doom.

I doubt that many Careers have vase smashing rages the night before the Games.

'You alright?' I say as I see Finnegan sprawled on an armchair.

'I guess,' is his reply. 'My hands are a bit bloody, though.' He holds up one hand, which is smudged with blood.

'You cut yourself?'

'Yes,' he says. A few moments pause. 'I must seem so weird to you, having a rage the night before the Games start.'

'No,' I reply. 'We all let our anger go in different ways. I get more upset about it, whereas you obviously throw stuff.'

I move over closer to him, and gasp at the sight of his hands. The one he showed me briefly wasn't half as bad as his other hand.

'Oh my god, Finnegan,' I say. 'Let me try and find you some bandages or something.'

I scout around our place to try and find a first aid box, and, after 5 minutes, grab one from Selene's ensuite.

We're the only one's here, I realise. Selene must be out trying to gain Finnegan more sponsors. And Finnick... either doing that for me, or out on a job.

It almost feels as though last night is forgotten between me and Finnegan, and I feel somewhat happy with that.

I fix up his hand, albeit a bit clumsily, and we sit in the main room on separate armchairs, staring into space.

'Come over here,' he says, and I want to, but feel as if I can't. But I do anyway, guilt nestling itself in the back of my mind. But I forget why we're even here, and just live in the moment for now.

I'm enveloped in his arms and lying against him, hearing the steady beat of his heart.

Something's stirring deep inside.

I can't even help it, I'm drawn to Finnegan. It's awful really.

'Nice dress,' he whispers.

'I'll make sure to tell my stylist you said that,' I say back softly. 'You don't look so bad yourself.'

I'm not lying; he looks great, I admit unhappily.

'Thanks,' he says.

I close my eyes. I could easily fall asleep like this, and I do.

We both fall asleep like this.

And Finnick and Selene must've obviously left us alone, as I wake up still in Finnegan's arms the next morning.

The morning of the day I enter the place of horrors and nightmares.